Gloomy Days Hit Different When You're Depressed | Episode 472

Gloomy Days Hit Different When You're Depressed | Episode 472

A gloomy morning can feel like a weighted blanket you never asked for and no amount of “just get up” advice touches it. Justin Alan Hayes gets real about what it’s like to wake up on an overcast, rainy day with depression and seasonal affective disorder, when your body moves slower, your mind needs more time, and the world still expects the same pace. He shares a laugh-out-loud moment of being attacked by an energetic dog while trying to steal a few more seconds of sleep, then zooms out to the deeper point: low energy is not a moral failure.

From there, we talk about how weather and mood can spill into work and daily routines, where tiny oversights can happen when you’re not fully online yet. Justin uses a simple example of forgetting trash cans behind the car to show how “little things” can grow when we don’t slow down, breathe, and stay present. The conversation stays grounded in mental health, trauma recovery, and the human reality of doing your best on the days that don’t feel easy.

We also go deeper into self-judgment and extremes: the old habit of comparing, the fear of going all-or-nothing with working out, and how that mindset can mirror past binge drinking and a lack of moderation. Justin explains why counseling and showing up consistently matters, especially when you’re managing medication and trying to build a healthier life one decision at a time. Voices for Voices is also a 501c3 nonprofit, and you’ll hear how to support the mission at lovevoices.org.

If this hit home, subscribe, share the episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find honest conversations about depression, seasonal affective disorder, recovery, and self-compassion.

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Chapter Markers

• 0:00 - Welcome And Why We’re Here
• 3:00 - When Weather Shapes Mood
• 13:40 - Sluggish Mornings And Small Mistakes
• 21:40 - Dropping Judgment And Comparison
• 26:40 - Extremes Addiction And Exercise Fears
• 39:10 - Counseling Commitment And Self Kindness
• 42:00 - How To Support The Mission

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Transcript

Welcome And Why We’re Here

Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices 0:01

Hi everyone, it's Justin here, Voices for Voices. Thank you so much for joining us, whether you're watching or listening, whether you're here in the United States or abroad, we we can't thank you enough for uh your love and support you've shown us uh over the years. Um and we are over 470 episodes into the voices for voices TV show and podcast. And that's that's not because of me, that's because of you. You you're demanding the content, you you are liking uh that we are transparent, that we talk about tough and hard subjects, as well as uh light-hearted uh subjects. So if you could give us a big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, maybe even reach out to 25, 50, 100, 500 of your contacts in your phone, let them know about voices for voices. We're built on the uh the mental health, mental illness, trauma recovery, uh pillars or and found foundation really is uh is what is behind all of our uh all of our shows. So whether I say it and talk about it specifically on every show, uh that may or may not be the case, but as a person that founded Voices for Voices and who is living and has lived for the last seven, eight years uh with mental illnesses, uh that in and of itself really brings it home for those particles particular areas that we're we're talking about. Uh we're just it's just amazing. You're amazing. Every single one of you who has ever watched, listened to one second, uh nanosecond, spent any time watching, listening to Voices for Voices. It's uh it's humbling. Uh, and again, we I don't know, I can't really put it really in into any other words other than thank you so much. And we're continuing onward. Um I'm gonna touch on life in this particular episode, and we we talked about life specifically uh in an earlier episode, and probably a couple we've we've touched on from time to time. Uh today I I want to share just a little bit uh, you know, when someone tells you or me, you know, we're being lazy, that we're being uh that we don't want to do something that uh get over it, take a deep breath, go for a walk, whatever it may be. Um today is one of these days where our previous day was in the 70s, and so right, it's it's it's a nice it's a nice day, right? When it's a little bit warmer, uh the the s the sun's out. Uh and so that's one day, then the next day, like today, and oh well overnight, and then today waking up, it's a lot different. Temperatures you know, about 20 degrees cooler, it's a little bit dreary, meaning overcast, it's raining on and off, uh thunderstorms popping up here and there. And as somebody who has mental illnesses, we talk about you know, seasonal affective disorder where you know the days uh you know, the winter winter solstice and all those things. Those days where there's less light outside, uh it it makes a makes a difference. Uh like I said, we talk about seasonal effective disorder, and I have that along with every all all the other uh compliments, like a complimentary uh challenges as well. And so that that's always hard for me to make it through those days, just to make it through those days, and I'm just being up front. Some people may say again that we're lazy, whatever, they can say what they like because they have First Amendment right, just like I do. Uh and so today, being how it is, being just kind of a you know just a like an overcast day with with rain, uh pop-up, thunderstorms, etc. And so I noticed myself it took a little bit longer to wake up today. Uh so that's one thing, and a lot of you are gonna laugh. I'm laughing. Uh I wasn't laughing at the time, what I'm about to say, because I again I I I was trying to get every last second of sleep that I could. Uh and so dog climbs up, right? So I'm I'm sleeping, and my body somehow, some way can sense, you know, the the rain, the you know, the sunshine's not out, and so I'm not quite ready to to wake up and start the day. Well, a dog uh she jumps up all over her leg in my face, my arm, like my feet, and uh just so much energy. She just has so much so much energy, and uh until I got up because I was I I was having our our our dog just I mean it was just happening, it it was like soup super speed or whatever. It was it was going on so fast, like I would like turn one way and then she lick and jump on me, and then I turn the other way, and then she'd do that. So that part I can laugh at now. Um but it wasn't funny at the time because I was trying to again get get some extra extra seconds of rest. And so it kind of feels like you know, one of these seasonal affective disorder days where I think just in general, humans, I think, again, I'm not a doctor and I'm not trying to say that this has been, you know, the you know, the regulatory commissions have approved what I'm saying. I'm I'm just saying as a as a human being who's gone through you know 44 years uh here on earth, that when it's sunny out our moods are a little bit better or we're have a little bit more energy, and as somebody with major depression and and all the the mental challenges and such that I'm going through, and some of you may or may not be going through, maybe somebody you know is going through, uh you may notice an uptick in activity on those particular days, and that's why our body just likes sun and sunshine, and it's easy for some to understand, and it's tougher, like oh you were being lazy at this other time, and now all of a sudden you you're you're doing this, or whatever that is, doesn't really matter what what the thing is. Uh and so I just want to share that because you know, like those of us with depression, and probably even without depression, uh you know, you have a lot of people that move to like warmer climates, like the older they you know they retire, sometimes they they move to more southern areas, you know, like Florida and such. And I think a lot of it has to do with the sunshine, that the body just needs to have that sunshine that if you live in a cool a cooler or a mild climate, uh it could be too much uh you know in in in the later years of of life. Um idea what what what's gonna happen the next minute, let alone in 20 years. Uh I just know that my bot my body and others, uh I again I I would think all of us would say, oh yeah, there's a sunny day and temperatures are moderate, you know, maybe in the 70s and or so, you know, there can be extremes when it's you know 90 degrees, 100 degrees, the sometimes 80 degrees, and then you have humidity and all that, where it can be dangerous if you're out too long uh in in those temperatures, you know, being dehydrated and and such. Uh but yeah, sharing this today on this particular show is just the show the really just the humanity, the human of myself, of me, and what a a day, you know, early part of a day can be, you know, from one day to the next. Uh you know, they said so it's sunnier, warmer body seems to have a little more pep in our step while when it's not sunny in seventy degrees, or whatever the whatever the temperature is that's comfortable for you, uh can make a difference. And so that can that can spill over into work, right? So if we have projects we're working on, and the days gloomy out. It's not that we can't work, it's just we we we might it might just take us a a little bit of a a minute uh to get it to get going. Um I'll give you another example. So move I moved our trash cans to one on one side uh of the garage, outside of the garage. Um and so I put them behind my car because that that was just uh you know having our other other car uh I that was gonna be leaving before before me today. So I had I had moved, you know, the the you know the cans are plastic and that. So we were in the car, you know, foot on the brake, hit reverse, and just going slow. I I I don't even think I was pressing the gas pedal, and there was just a little bump on the car, and I I was like, oh, forgot to move the the trash cans over the before we left today. So I got out, I moved them over. There's no damage at all on the car. I wasn't going fast, and and and the material uh and the elements that go into uh to the cans uh wasn't enough to have it show on on my car uh that I hit the trash cans. So that something very minor like that. And I was like, oh, I forgot about that. And so it took me, you know, that second or two to be like, okay, uh like I I have to be I have to be as careful as I always am. I I can't I can't not and that was just a reminder that uh that I needed needed to you know there you know there's like 50 million things you you need to do in the morning it feels like and I just didn't see it at the time. And as I'm talking about this, I am uh I'm thinking about Full House, the the TV show when I was growing up. Uh I forget who was driving. Uh they were obviously not of age. I think it was Stephanie Tanner, the that I think that's the show character. Uh and I think she drove through drove the car through the house, the side to the house. And and of course, in in that instance, like, you know, make sure everybody's safe and okay, no, but nobody got hurt, and then you go, oh wow, I have half I have a ha half of a house that has a big hole in it because there's a car in it, even when you back it out, back the car out. Anyways, they're they're very they're similar in making a we made a mistake, but I didn't drive through our house and have it. And so I I just think about that. And uh our family likes to watch, you know, Full House and then the Fuller House. And that's why that that particular uh that particular part of that show has come to mind uh as I as I share this morning. And so it could be you know a little sluggish. Uh doesn't mean anything negative. Doesn't mean we're not worthy that it doesn't mean any of those things. It just means we're just feeling a little bit sluggish. When the weather's better, it seemed uh you know the little things, they they they stay little sometimes when the weather changes little things like making sure that the trash can was not right behind my car, uh become a little easier when the weather's nicer, like, oh yeah, let me double check. And I usually always double check, and so today for whatever reason, um I think we're we were we were running a little bit behind, and so that might have been part of it. I may have perceived that we were running behind and we were when we really weren't. Um you know, when you're we're we're we're human beings, so we're we're creatures of habit, and so that's how I am, and and especially you know, with the the the morning routine and and that of okay, we're gonna be able to do this or that or get to this place early, and yes, we're gonna have to wait, but at least we'll we'll be here uh and we won't have to be in a long line of traffic wrapped around the building, those type of things. And so that with this particular episode, my my hope and wish is that you can, whether you're watching or listening, you can tell that I'm a real human being. I'm no superhero, I'm no yeah. I'm just a regular person. And yes, we do talk about hard topics. We talk about easy topics. We talk about life, right? We talk about life because that's what we're living. We've made it another day, another morning, another afternoon, another evening, another summer, another spring, another winter. And so it's important when we're talking about these these things is to actually talk about them and not brush them to the side. I don't like brushing things to the side when it especially again as as we're you know, built on the foundation and the pillars of you know mental health, trauma, recovery. Try to stay away from the the judging because who am I to judge anybody? I'm not. So earlier in my life, that was a lot of what I did. A lot of judging, a lot of comparing. This person has this, so I need to get what I need to get this too, or I need to get something above that. And they're gonna see, look at the those types of things, are what I'm talking about. You know, keeping up with whatever an individual, trying to be somebody that I'm not, and that was that was me for a lot of my li a lot of my life, you know, up up until 20 2017. I mean it really is. That was a it was a lot of a lot a lot of my life. Yeah, I I I I've had some awesome accomplishments, but again, I can't take them with me when I leave Earth. None of us can. I talk about this all the time. So I just have realized that life isn't all about me. For me, with voices for voices, it's about helping others, helping others, you know, within that you know the framework that we we mentioned earlier in our show. And that's something that again in earlier years it wouldn't be I wouldn't even think about it. It was all about me, all about what I wanted to do. As you get older, you know, our bodies change. For me, put on I put on a lot of extra weight. And so, you know, trying to manage different different things. It's kind of like karma, right? It's like I say or think something earlier in my life or at an earlier point, and then it comes around, and it's like, oh, okay. So yeah, you were fit and worked out and all this, and now you don't and it shows, and you can tell. And in my head, I'm st I'm I'm I'm I'm trying to process it. I'm trying to process because the way my mind works, I take things to the extreme a little bit when it comes to working out. Let me give you an example. So when I was younger and I was working out three, four, five, sometimes it would be six, seven days a week. Did I need to do that? No. Did I was I looking to be in a uh a contest, right? To see, you know, to bodybuilding contest. No, I was doing those things just for me and thinking like, oh yeah, look at me. Look, look how in shape and all that that I am. I wasn't part of a professional sports team. None of that. I was just like I am now, a regular human being. But at the time, I took things overboard, right? So there's all these supplements, all these things you take to help help uh you know give extra energy to to do the different workouts and do the you know to lift more weight and all these things. And now I I and now I guess I'm a little bit fearful that if I get back into working out, like there's no middle middle ground. It's kind of like me when I was abused on alcohol and binge drinking. I didn't know. I didn't know moderation. I guess words and trying to say. It was either I'm going and getting drunk and wasted and hammered, whatever term you want to use. I couldn't just physically I could make that distinction. I you know, if somebody says, hey, let's go have a drink, not talking about now, talking about like twenty years ago or such. Let's go have a drink, or you know, with a group of us, you know, let's go. I couldn't just have one, couldn't just have two drinks, alcohol, beverages. So if children are watching listening, probably a good time to pause this, um just just because what what I'm talking about, and and so I didn't I didn't own moderation with alcohol, so that's why when in my mind I would say, okay, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. This was me in college, those days I would just do my schoolwork. Because I knew if I had a drink on a Tuesday, I couldn't just stop at one. And so you have the fact that that costs money, the toll it takes on your body, all these things. And so there is the extreme. And so I was being an happy I was going to the extreme with working out to make it parallel with what I was sharing about the binge drinking. It's like, oh, well let's just do a light workout or let's just do this. I'm a little bit afraid that my my mind's gonna get me to that point where I'm just gonna be focusing so much time and energy on that. And I don't wanna be because of medications, different things with my mental challenges, I I don't I don't know if things interact with medications and so there's just a lot to think about, right? We're talking about a life, and so those are two instances, right? Going to the extreme of oh, I'm just gonna go, you know, do a short workout, or I'm just gonna do cardio, or I can't do that. My mind is healed a little bit, so I can say that like I have like I've been here on the show. But it's been a long time since I've really addressed this. And so yeah, I I want to, I wanna work out, I wanna have some of this extra weight gone. And so I'm kind of at a at a at a little bit of a standstill of not with the algorithm, that's done. I'm I'm not doing that. I'm talking about working out. So I that's a decision I need to make. And it's it may sound like, oh, like just this bacon's just big deal about working out, and it's not that hard, just stop when well, maybe for you it is. Maybe for you it is an easy thing to do to make the decision to stop, to like if I do it, I I'm gonna spend hundreds of dollars on supplements to help me work out. And so that's just a fact, money, right? Do people have the money to do that? And that's the thing you have to grapple with when we're talking about you know going to a vitamin store, whatever whichever one you go to, or if you you know go online. If I'm gonna work out, I'm getting serious about this. And so I I guess that's just something I'm gonna have to have to start thinking about. Again, another life issue, another life topic that I've that I shared with that. And I'm sharing this because I I believe that they're that I believe that I'm not the only one that's going through it, and there may be other things, right? Somebody may have that going to the extreme, but I don't I don't know. Can be anything, could be of substance, could be working out. I guess the big thing is I need to not judge not judge myself. You know, we talk about like not judging others. How about not judging ourselves? That's a tough thing to do to not judge ourselves, and so I think that's what I'm doing. I'm judging myself like, well, Justin, if you're gonna work work out like two days a week or whatever, whatever it is, you know, that you really should you should really do three days a week, or you should really do four days a week. Then we start get I start getting in this cycle, and I don't want to get into that cycle. Maybe I won't, maybe I won't get into that cycle. Maybe I won't. I've pushed through the alcohol and substances, I've pushed through that, and I'd say I've done a good job. Because I don't even really I don't really think about that anymore, and so working out is is is kind of that next thing, and I'm 44, I'm not 24, so there's certain things, certain amount of weight, certain limitations, supplements, I don't, I don't know, or maybe better for somebody's not on the medication regimen that I'm on. So there's all these things I gotta extra extra things that I have to manage and work through. That you know, if you don't have a some type of uh medication regimen that you're on and you're younger, well, that's a lot different. And so we just we just have to think about it. Not just again, we're gonna close with this not just not judging others, but not judging ourselves. We're we're in in this thing called life. We do the best we can. And I think given the opportunity, y you would wanna you you would want to help somebody. Again, if the ways and means and and all that was available, can be something tiny. Doesn't have to be some huge thing. And so the way I'm judging myself and talk about that's probably one of the reasons why I make the conscious effort to go to counseling in that. And I guess I've gone to the extreme now on that because I don't like missing appointments. I don't I don't I told myself in my mind in 2017 that I if I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do it all the way. I can't half ass it. I gotta do I gotta do at the full which means like schedule appointments, go to appointments, participate in the appointments, and if it means also having some kind of medication regimen, then I have to do that too. Because I want to get better. There's some days that are great for me that are hard to understand for for some people, like he thought that was great. Well, everybody has their things, it makes him feel good, like, oh wow, I was able to accomplish what whatever it whatever the thing is, or I was able to finish this project that I've been putting off. Just know that no matter what, the here at Voices for Voices, we're sending our love and support to you. We're praying for you every day, whether you're a believer or not. We want you to have a happy, healthy, prosperous life, whatever that looks like to you. And we want to thank you for joining us on this episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. Again, give us a big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, reach out to 25, 50, 100, 1000 contacts and in your phone, let them know about voices for voices and the voices for voices TV show and podcast. We are also a 501c3 nonprofit charity. So if you go to lovevoices.org, lovevoices.org, lovevoices.org, that's l-o-v-e, v-o-i-c-e-s.org. And you can also donate on the Cash App or Venmo, voices for Voices. Here in the United States, every donation is a hundred percent tax deductible, so we are a charity, but we're doing things that we're doing big things, and by saying doing big things, we're doing big things by doing little things. Because little things, if not looked at and not addressed, they turn into big things. So let's celebrate all the voices in the world. Help us reach and help three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond. And let's be a voice for ourselves and somebody in need. Take care. We love you, we support you. We'll see you on the next episode of the Voices for Voices TV show. podcast. Bye-bye for now.