Diagnosed With Autism in My 30s | Why People Doubted Me | Episode 477

Diagnosed With Autism in My 30s | Why People Doubted Me | Episode 477

Some people hear “loud concert” and think inconvenience. I hear it and think sensory overload, the kind that can flood your body with too much sound, too much light, and too much motion all at once. For Autism Awareness Month, I’m getting personal about being diagnosed on the autism spectrum in my thirties, what that clarified for me, and why so many autism and mental health challenges stay hidden in plain sight.

We talk about the parts of autism you can’t easily see, including how verbal and nonverbal communication differences can shape how people treat you. I also unpack a moment that really hurt: being questioned about a late autism diagnosis and hearing the implication that it must not be real. Those “Are you sure?” comments can land like bullying, even when nobody uses a slur or raises their voice. And when someone goes further and says you’re “using it as a crutch,” it can shut down the very honesty that helps people stay regulated, safe, and understood.

I also share a relatable example of literal thinking, and why “sharing is caring” can be hard when you’re talking about autism, panic attacks, or any mental health diagnosis. The core takeaway is simple: give people grace, stop judging what you can’t measure, and let people be people.

If this resonates, follow Voices for Voices, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more listeners can find real conversations about autism, neurodiversity, bullying, and mental health.

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Chapter Markers

• 0:00 Welcome And The Show Mission
• 3:14 Autism Awareness And My Diagnosis
• 4:46 Sensory Overload With Lights And Sound
• 9:02 Invisible Challenges And Being Understood
• 13:29 Late Diagnosis Doubts And Bullying
• 20:22 Literal Thinking And Sharing Hard Truths
• 26:46 Kindness Takeaway And Final Call

#justiceforjustin #justiceforvoicesforvoicestiktok #VoicesforVoices #AutismAwareness #AutismAcceptance #Neurodiversity #GraceInEveryMoment #LivingWithAutism #UnderstandingAutism #MentalHealthMatters #EmpathyAndCompassion #SupportForFamilies #AutisticVoices #InclusionMatters #UniquePerspectives #LoveAndAcceptance #LifeOnTheSpectrum #AdvocacyForAll #JustinAlanHayes #JustinHayes #help3billion #TikTok #Instagram #truth #Jesusaire #VoiceForChange #HealingTogether #Episode477

Transcript

Welcome And The Show Mission

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes 0:02

Hey everyone, it's Justin here, Voices for Voices. Thank you so much for joining us on this episode. Whether you're watching, listening, whether you're here in the United States or across the world, we thank you so very much for being with us. Uh whether this is your first episode or whether you've been with us from the beginning, uh, we have over 475 episodes in our uh catalog. Uh so we uh we recommend that you take a look at that. Uh that would be uh very helpful, as well as letting uh your your friends, family, coworkers, loved ones, uh contacts in your phone, maybe reach out to 25 or 15 uh hundred uh contacts in your phone, let them know about the voices for voices, TV show and podcasts. We're built and founded on uh mental health, mental challenges, uh trauma recovery. Uh we're just here to share experiences and help people. We have a huge goal to help and reach at least three billion people. You heard that right. Billion with a B. We want to reach and help three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond. And it's with you uh that is making that possible, not me. It's because you are here, because you we have a show, uh, because of your demand, you're watching and listening. We are hitting all-time records uh for uh viewers and listeners uh these last uh six months. We've had three three all-time records uh with the last month being uh the uh the absolute highest uh viewers and listeners that we've had on the show for the show. You can give us a big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share. Those are all free things you can do as well to help us get closer and closer to our goal of helping and reaching three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond. Uh, we have a wide range of topics, we talk about easy topics, we talk about hard topics, we talk about controversial topics at times, we're less about politics, more about culture and humanity, and that's what you will find each and every time you tune in to the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. And I'm your host, Justin Allen Hayes, founder of Voices for Voices. I am currently going through mental challenges myself, which is how Voices for Voices was founded. Uh this month, uh the month of April here in 2026, uh is Autism Awareness Month. And so we're just gonna highlight uh some areas of autism, and just like with everything with humans, we all have challenges. Uh, none of us are perfect, and that's what makes us so unique. And autism happens to be one of the areas that I've been diagnosed on the so there's a there's this there's a there's a spectrum, right? So there's one side and then there's the other, and so you can kind of fall at one end or the other or somewhere in between. And so the the end of the spectrum that I uh that I fall into um is related to it's related to lights and sounds. Uh you know, people say, oh, well, you know, if I had a you know a TV light or a spotlight or any type of light that was shined at me, like yeah, that'd be uncomfortable. And same with sounds, that well, you know, if the TV or the radio or a band, uh, you know, just naming a few. If it's too loud, we'll just turn it down. If there are strobe lights, different types of lights, you know, that can be found at a concert, and so you have on one hand you have the sound being loud, and then on the other hand, you have the lights at the same time, and what that does to me with the autism is what I I I believe, like I'm not a non-medical professional, uh, but what I understand it is called when that happens, like sensory overload, where all of our senses or a few of our senses are just on overloads. There's so much going on, right? If you go to a festival, you know, there's uh there's just sensory overload with sounds and uh with uh again different lights, just people in mass moving at the same time. Uh just giving examples here for me uh that may relate to you or somebody you know. And again, these are things that how do I say this best for me? These aren't things that another person can see in me or in a person with autism. These aren't again, you these aren't things you can be like, oh, that person has this area of autism, or is here on the spectrum like the mental challenges, they're silent in nature, they're silent, and especially there's nonverbal autism, and then there you know, there's verbal. And sometimes with the verbal doesn't make sense what an individual is saying or trying to say, and a nonverbal is just that you're not you're not able to even hear what what the individual is thinking and saying, or answering a question, or asking a question. And so I I I just think it's important that we we talk about it and make people aware. This isn't to say that other things are important. It is to say that people with autism and other diagnoses like and like any other thing that may show a person is a is a little bit you know, a little bit more unique than others they get made fun of. And that's not right. That's wrong. You know, it's not the it's not the persons the person that wake up and say, Oh, I wanna I wanna have autism and I w I these are this is something I wanted And so just like with anything we don't want to make fun of people it's just it it's not it's not good, it's not healthy, makes people feel left out. That's if the person is able to understand what's going on. And so with it with this month being the Autism Awareness Month, it being autism has been more and more as the years have progressed something that counselors, doctors, you name it are are keen to whether it's the test for it or something different. Now individuals are again being being maybe tested for it or diagnosed with autism versus when I was growing up in the 1980s. And I'll share this like I've shared previously that there's been times off camera, and I think maybe at least one show where one of our shows where a guest is kind of challenged. Well, are you sure that are you sure that you're you're die getting diagnosed earlier than in your thirties? And I said, well, well no, I to my knowledge that autism wasn't really something the doctors looked at as much ras in depth with with patients in the eighties and guess the nineties too. At least part of the nineties. And so that hurt that hurt kinda bad because number one, I didn't I didn't ask to have all autism. Okay. And then number two, when it's kind of like a form of bullying in a way, without saying I'm bullying you or I'm calling you names. It's still a form of bullying. Somebody says, Are you sure? Are your doctors sure? Because that it's very rare. Almost very rare. Even more rare and rare and rare as if nobody gets diagnosed with autism later in life. And so that hurt. It hurt bad, didn't it? It was just the guests that we have on our shows. We have we have tons of guests. All kinds of backgrounds. And so whether the guests knew it or not, it it it hurt because I was being questioned on, well, are you sure? I didn't ask to have this happen, and yes, this did occur in my thirties. And so I'm able to try to manage it the best that I can. And so, in a way, I I kinda know what it's like to be bullied, whether again, whether whether the person is outright saying I'm bullying you or making fun of you or me, or it's just her. And I can only imagine others with autism if and when they have that same type of thing happen to them. Maybe on a much deeper deeper level where the bullying is very more straightforward. Like, well, you can't do this, or you're using you're using autism as a crutch. Well, you know, if if I'm in a meeting and I need to share my you know mental challenges and that, I'll share those. But for somebody to say, well, you're using it as a crutch to make people feel bad for you. I don't want anybody to feel bad for me. Absolutely not. That's the last thing I want. I want to be treated just as a human being. So what if I have mental challenges? I'm just sh I'm just sharing that. I'm not using it as a crutch. I'm just sharing that information. And if somebody wants to say, oh, you're using it as a crutch, you know, to get what you want or to get through a situation or what whatever that may be, that hurts people whether they know it or not. And so for me, when I found out in my thirties, it kind of made sense. I was able to process it fairly well, I suppose. That's when I when I say I'm trying to manage it the best way I can, that that's really what I'm getting at, is I'm able to process my diagnoses maybe a little bit better than somebody else. But if when people are making fun telling you or me or anybody with anything, forget forget that it's autism that we're talking about. Just anything, they say, oh, you're just using this as a crutch. I don't know. Maybe some people do use it as a crutch. The people that I know that have autism, all they're trying to do is just let people know. Like there's part of part of autism is taking things literally. Like if there's a comment or a topic comes up, some may take it literally when it may just be part of a conversation, and not that it's a joke, it just might not be meant to be taken literally. Like, oh my gosh, they're talking about this particular topic, so it has to be exactly what this is what this person is saying. Not a part of it, not some of it, it could just be I don't know, maybe something. How's the weather? And so you start talking about the weather, and and there may be like, oh yeah, this is the time time of the year for I don't know. It's not, this is hypothetical. You say, Oh, this is you know, hurricane season, and well, the person, the other person might go, oh my gosh, they say. It's hurricane season. Is there gonna be a hurricane today? Tonight? Tomorrow? Do I do I live some in a climate where hurricanes occur? And so that's what I mean where people take things literally. There's nothing wrong with that. That's why sharing. You know, here and they've heard sharing is caring. It's hard to share these types of topics in these areas with people. It is very hard. As a person over over 470 episodes, um, there's so many topics, so many things I've been so transparent on that it's not easy to talk about them. And they seem like it is. And let people be people. Let's not bully people. Somebody, as we say, this is autism awareness month. Somebody says they have autism. You hear somebody has autism, a friend's parent, loved one, significant other shares it have a little bit of grace. Because you're not perfect either. None of us are perfect. So how dare anybody? How dare anybody, how dare anybody judge a person and or say, well, that person's using autism as a crutch. I would love for me to not have the diagnoses that I have. I would love for that, and I'm sure you would too, and others, and maybe you don't, and that's great. There's some of us to do, and so we're doing the best we can, we're doing the best we can, we're doing the best we can, just like you are, and so in closing, for everybody out there, whether you have autism or not, whether you've been diagnosed with anything that affects your day-to-day life, certain situations, maybe you have panic attacks in certain situations. I know I do get close to having panic attacks, and sometimes still do much, much, much, much, much less than I have had in the past. But there are still times where I have and or feel as though I'm having a panic attack. And so let the takeaway from this show be let's just show kindness, courtesy, show a little bit of grace. Let's not judge others. Karma's a real thing. And I think I'm still I'm getting karma from things that I've done and earlier in my life. So karma's a real thing. And so now I with the knowledge I have about me and my body and others, I try to do the best I can. That's just we'll leave it right there. Thank you for joining us on this episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. If you'd be bit if you would be so kind as to give us a big thumbs up, follow, subscribe, share our show. You reach out to maybe 25, 50, 75 contacts in your phone, let them know about our show. We don't know how long we're gonna be left, how long we're gonna be here on earth. And so we want to maximize our time and effort and reaching and helping and sharing, just as I shared about my autism diagnosis in this show. Follow us, keep up with us on social media, and let's celebrate everybody's voice, even if they're unable to share their voice. And until next time, let's please be a voice for ourselves and somebody else in need. Thank you. We'll see you next time. Bye for now.