The Song That Broke Open Everything At This Funeral | Episode 478

The Song That Broke Open Everything At This Funeral | Episode 478

A funeral can make everything else feel quieter and somehow sharper at the same time. We start with gratitude for the Voices for Voices community and the mission to reach and help billions, then the day takes a turn into something more personal: showing up for family, sitting in a Catholic Mass, and letting grief do what it does.

What stayed with us most was the way a life got honored through meaning, not perfection. The urn was a golf ball, a simple and stunning tribute to a man who loved the game, and during Masters Week it felt almost surreal. Then came a eulogy built like a round of golf, with the first nine holes and the second nine holes mapping the arc of a whole life. We talk about why symbolism works, how structure can carry emotion, and how storytelling can make a memorial feel true instead of generic.

And then music cracks it open. When “How Great Thou Art” plays, it pulls us straight into memories of a dad, a favorite song, and the small traditions that keep love close, like playing a specific rendition at the cemetery and leaving with a couple honks and a wave. We also sit with the hard lesson the priest names: you can’t take houses, money, cars, or status with you, so what are you building that lasts?

If you want more honest conversations about grief, faith, remembrance, legacy, and doing good through a nonprofit charity, press play. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review, and if you’re able to support the mission, donate at lovevoices.org.

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Chapter Markers

• 0:00 Welcome And Ways To Support
• 2:45 Artemis II And Moonbound Awe
• 4:30 Puppy Home Alone And Routine
• 7:18 A Somber Funeral Day
• 19:16 A Song That Breaks Open Grief
• 25:10 What Makes A Life Worth Living
• 29:11 Final Thanks And Sharing Request

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Transcript

Welcome And Ways To Support

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes 0:01

Hi everyone, it's Justin here. Voices for Voices. Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of the show. Whether you're watching or listening here in the United States or across the world, we are grateful to have you with us. If you give us the big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, that would be awesome. Help us reach our goal that is reaching and helping at least three billion, three billion with a B people over the course of my lifetime and beyond. And it's because your help that we've made it this far. It's your demand. So we're giving you what the people want. More content, more shows, closer by the minute to hitting 500 total episodes in our catalog. Thank you very, very much. Uh, we have nothing but love and support for you and for everybody who's ever been a part of Voices for Voices, whether that's liking, following, subscribing, share, thumbs up, uh reaching out to 25, 50, 100 uh of their contacts in their phone, letting them know about the voices, voices, TV, show and podcast. Uh become part of our family that way. Uh checked out an episode or 50 or 100 or 470. Uh we are just so grateful uh for you. And if you're able to, Voices for Voices is a charity, 501c3 nonprofit charity. And any donations, whether monetary money or whether purchasing any of our books is all money that is tax deductible, 100% federal tax deductible. And so we just want to let everybody know that, especially as we get closer to the deadline of uh tax time here for uh calendar year 2025. Uh, but we're in 2026, obviously. Uh we just uh just be on the moon that we're at this spot, and thank you so much. And Artemis 2 did that. They actually went around the moon. They went they went on the dark side of the moon. It's gonna be so interesting to hear the stories, the experiences of the four astronauts, and all those that uh have been associated with this Artemis II uh mission uh to take human beings further than they've ever gone ever in space. Uh so that's just amazing. That gives me chills, turns the clock back many years for me when uh when I wanted to be a an astronaut, where that was like one of the one of the top uh one of the top jobs or the top professions that children wanted to wanted to do when they when they grew up. So totally excited for for that. Uh hopefully I have a safe and healthy and prosperous uh splashdown here coming up in the coming days. And we are gonna jump right in after that uh after that intro. Oh, you can reach out and uh donate at lovevoices.org. Lovevoices.org, lovevoices.org. That is O R G for org. Anybody is uh curious. Uh today was also the longest time that our puppy was by herself uh because of the schedule that I had for a good part of the good chunk of the day uh where doggies weren't uh weren't really welcome. Uh and so she was so excited, Lucy was so excited. I got home, so uh that that was a that was a good feeling to uh to uh have her hit yep, yep, barking, uh hopping, uh you know, getting getting back into routine of you know being uh I guess a doggy parent, leash on outside to go potty, come inside, treats, uh head on over for water, head on over for uh for for Lucy's uh long past due lunch, and now she's just chilling right next to me here, and uh she was up on my shoulders and and then uh a neighbor dog had a uh had a couple loud bark, few a few loud barks, and so as the guard dog that she is, the way uh she's a small dog, but when she arches up, she's she's getting longer. Uh at least at Lisa feels that way. And uh so she she makes her and tries to make her presence known. She does, she does a really good job at that. Uh and just so it's just so neat to have a dog. I uh very talk about this, but it it it's it's very neat to have a dog. Uh you know, we've gone through our our growing pains of learning certain foods that she can't eat human food, others that she gets sick uh when we leave and we can't bring her with us, and we uh we have a protocol for that uh because of uh a time or two where came back to just thing a few things were just a little bit shredded, just a little bit. So uh we uh so we're getting you we're getting more and more used to having Lucy around and uh yeah, so the the topic today or for this episode is I mean you you you you see the look on my face. Uh it was uh it was a somber day earlier. Uh I guess that's the best way to to describe you know what what it was doing. I you know, met my mom, uh cousin of my my dad, my dad is is deceased and in heaven, and just gained the a cousin in heaven. Used to play golf with them a few different times over the course of their lives, and and so we had the uh we had the funeral today for my dad's cousin, and there's a lot of people I don't know, didn't know, so it was nice to be there with my mom. Uh no matter what, it'd been nice to be there with my mom, but especially when I don't know about maybe like two people, and those two people are uh are people that are you know talking to people that are coming into the the church. Uh there was uh visitation calling hours last night, didn't make it to so there's there's a lot of people that were they wanted to pay their condolences prior to the mass, prior to the church starting. And so my mom and myself that we were two of those. Uh it was very somber in a few different ways. One is somebody passed away, somebody's no longer on earth. Um the first song, Amazing Grace. Uh that that was that was the first song. And I'll ra I'll wrap up. So I'll kind of you know kind of go through the ceremony and that and then wrap up with how I felt and feel uh yeah, with my dad just passing just a couple years ago, seems like yesterday. So, you know, Amazing Grace, two readings. There's a song in between, the first reading and second reading. Yeah, the priest did the gospel reading, did a homily, he shared about my dad's cousin, uh, some some some very nice uh very nice words and had people laugh a little bit at talking about uh just conversation he had with my dad's cousin prior to him passing. And then they did the you know, they bring the gifts up, the w uh, you know, the host, the communion, the wine, body and blood of Jesus Christ is believed on the Catholic side. And again, I'm a believer, you don't have to be a believer at all. I'm just sharing this experience with you. So then the disbursement of communion, uh the blessing of my dad's cousin was cremated, and he loved golf. Golf was that was his life outside of his family. And the urn, and I'd never seen this before. Uh the urn was a golf ball, ball, and then it had, you know, in memory of had his name, and then had uh, you know, when he was born and when he passed. And I thought that was very touching, very, very, very neat this week being Master's Week. I remember my dad, he passed, and we got tickets for would have been today, the Wednesday of Masters Week. And for those who aren't American golf or golfers, it's one of the biggest tournaments. Um one of the biggest, yeah, one of the biggest tournaments that people look forward to. Not just the golfers, but uh patrons. It's one of the hardest tickets to get of any uh any any sporting event that I know of. Usually the tickets remain in the bloodline, so uh it's it's hard, very hard to get the tickets. Anyways. So at the end of the service when he has cousins, wife got said a few words, more than a few words, and it was really done eloquently. I'm a person that picks up on not just not just speeches and remarks, but the structure of them. So I'm uh I'm a visual person, okay? I think we all are to an extent, okay? And so the way his wife delivered the remarks was in a way that I'm not saying that I would have done it this way, but I would have thought about something like this if I wouldn't have thought about this. Okay, so he's a golfer. He passed away. Golfing was a huge part of his life. He's inducted into our local golf hall of fame, amateur golf hall of fame. And for those who don't know, golf, you usually golf nine holes or eighteen. And what his wife did was she used imagery symbolism. She talked about the first nine holes, right? So you can either go off nine holes or eighteen, is usually the way to go. And so she used that as she was describing her husband, with the first nine holes being, you know, the first section of his life, and then the second nine holes, which was ten through eighteen, was the second part of his life. His name was Mike, Michael, and I just loved that, just loved that. Because for me, I was able to understand it so much more, and I everybody's different, everybody has their own, their own way to handle things, right? It's an emotional time for everybody involved, right? The starting, you know, the closer the family, and then you know, it gets out to more distant relatives and friends and and such. And I thought that was I was like, that was I don't want to say cool when I say cool, I don't mean like, oh yeah, that was so rad. But it was, I thought it was cool. It was a cool way to describe things that make a little bit more sense to people. And I I really liked it. I liked that again this it wasn't something where um where it was a fun time. Somebody died, right? I'm just talking about the speech, right? So you got like usually you start low and then you kinda you know work your way up, and sometimes you do, you know, what our president calls or anybody can call, call it the weave, where you're talking about a topic and then you go out for a tangent and then come back, and then you work your way from there. This was using the sport that Mike loved and spent so much of his time outside of family playing and the golf ball yearn or urn, and then the symbolism, imagery, and the remarks from his wife with the first nine holes, and then the second nine holes to be the eighteen to represent Mike's life. Then came probably probably the most emotional for me part. It was emotional throughout, but this part made it extra emotional. So my dad's favorite song, which I didn't I didn't I didn't know until closer to the end of his earthly life, was how great thou art. And he loved is loved and I love the rendition that Carrie Underwood does dead, just gets replayed unless you're at a concert. And what was the final song it was to the funeral? It was how great thou art. And so I I had a lot of tears during that time, and I think it's uh it's okay to have tears and to show emotions at any time in life. I think sometimes we get judged too harshly. Sometimes we uh we judge others too harshly, sometimes we judge our own selves too harshly. But that was my dad that was my dad's favorite song. And I I just visited him a couple days ago and what's turning into I guess a little bit of a tradition. Well, I guess two things, but the one thing is to play that rendition on my phone of how great thou art, Carrie Underwood. And I get very emotional and so be it. I'm an emotional person and so I get I get emotional. So that's that that that's that's something that I mean that I do. And I just ha I just have to Call out here before we close out is the sky is sky is as blue as blue can be. And so you know having got another angel with Mike, and I I believe my dad, and his mom and dad, other friends, family, colleagues that left this earth before him, they're just they're just shining down. Because if you don't know about golf, golf is usually best played when there it there are blue skies. Which, unless it's winter time, the weather usually is a little bit on the warmer side. So I just had I just had a I just had to know re recognize that. And then the second thing that I do on my dad when I when I pull away after paying respects, playing his favorite song. And I don't I mean I don't even remember the first time that we did it. It was probably when I was super young, and we were leaving my grandma and grandpa's house, where we would back out of their driveway, and then we, you know, we would put drive on the car, start moving forward, and then we would do like two or three honks of the horn, and then we would wave, like, see you next time. Thank you. And I do that as I as I leave just until the next time. Um when I leave the cemetery and I drive by my dad's memorial. So I just wanted to share that.

SPEAKER_00 25:05

Not able to see that, but I am.

Final Thanks And Sharing Request

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes 25:10

So today was a little bit of bittersweet day. I got to I I don't I I I don't know that anybody likes going to funerals, but I get so I get so emotional. I remember even colleagues years and years and years and years ago that we would go to a service or we would just go to pay our respects during the visitation time. And I don't even know the person, never met him in my life. You know, if it's an open casket, you know, you're seeing the person, and it's like, oh my gosh, that person had so much more life to live, but again, as a believer, me, God, Jesus must need them more than down here on earth. And as the celebrant of the mass brought up, and I brought up many times, he brought up you can't take the houses, you can't take the money, you can't take those things with you when we pass on from earth. And so he mentioned, you know, what's worth living. And he talked a little bit about how to be remote for us to be remembered, and if we can make a make a good difference, like a positive difference in the world, in our families, in our communities. And I thought that dovetailed beautifully with what we've been talking about over the last many episodes. Okay, because we can't take it with us. No matter how much money we can't take it, no matter what kind of cars, no matter what kind of houses, or we have yachts, private jets, we can't take it with us. And so that's why I think I'm so passionate about wanting to help people and wanting voices for voices and everything associated with voices for voices. Well, I want to make a difference, a good difference, a positive difference in the world. I don't know how long people will remember me. I don't know how they'll remember me. I spent a good part of my life being a mean person, meaning uh just a not nice person, just unkind. I'm I'm narcissistic from time to time now, but I was narcissistic almost all the time for a good part of my life. And so I'm trying to change change course the best that I can. So thank you for joining us on this episode of the Voices for Voices TV Show and Podcast. Give us a thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share. Reach out to 25, 500 contacts in your phone. Let them know about the voices for voices, TV show and podcast. Have them download all 470 plus episodes. You do the same. We're doing big things, we're helping a lot of people, starting right here. So we'll see you on the next show. Take care. God bless. Let's celebrate the voices of everybody in the world, and let's be a voice for ourselves and others in need. Bye bye for now.