Joy and Panic Attacks Hit the Same Weekend—Here's What Happened | Episode 504

Two big events in one day can feel like a victory or a minefield, depending on what your brain and body are carrying. We’re Justin Alan Hayes and Voices for Voices, and we’re unpacking a recent weekend that held both joy and pressure: celebrating a friend’s 40 years sober and drug-free, then showing up for a child’s recital with all the crowds, noise, lights, and unpredictability that can trigger anxiety and panic attacks. If you’ve ever wondered why “normal plans” can feel impossible, you’ll feel seen here.

We talk openly about mental health, major depression, and what it takes to build coping skills over years through therapy, psychiatry, and medication. We also get practical about wellness basics that affect mood and anxiety, including spring weather shifts, heat safety, hydration, clean drinking water, and electrolytes. It’s not glamorous, but it’s real life, and for many of us it’s the difference between spiraling and stabilizing.

Then we zoom out to the kind of advocacy we don’t dodge. We react to Texas making human trafficking an automatic first-degree felony with stronger penalties for traffickers of children and disabled people, and we challenge other states to treat abuse with the seriousness it deserves. We close with a personal story about boundaries at home, protecting a family pet, and why “see something, say something” applies in everyday moments, not just headlines.

If this conversation helps you feel less alone, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find Voices for Voices. What’s one situation where you’re ready to show up or speak up differently?

*Donate Today: LoveVoices.org, CashApp and Venmo

**Find our book here:

Amazon: https://voices-for-voices.org/3ZhJ6AW

Publisher: https://voices-for-voices.org/3LKL1uN

***Website: https://voices-for-voices.org/4byLXgb

Instagram: @voicesforvoices

TikTok: @voices_for_voices

Facebook: Voices for Voices

*Voices for Voices is a 501c3 nonprofit charity. All donations are 100% tax deductible.

Chapter Markers

• 0:00 Welcome And How You Can Help
• 1:10 Celebrating 40 Years Of Sobriety
• 5:50 Weather Shifts And Staying Hydrated
• 9:05 Recitals, Crowds, And Panic Attacks
• 13:50 Healing Takes Time And Support
• 19:25 Perseverance Behind 500 Plus Episodes
• 24:10 Protecting Ideas And Moving Faster
• 29:06 Texas Raises Penalties For Trafficking
• 39:37 Drawing Lines And Saying Something
• 46:59 Choosing Better Dreams And Closing

#SoberLiving #SpringWeekend #SensoryOverload #MindfulMoments #JoyfulExperience #MentalHealthAwareness #CelebrateSobriety #WeekendVibes #justiceforjustin #justiceforvoicesforvoicestiktok #VoicesforVoices #help3billion #TikTok #Instagram #truth #Jesusaire #VoiceForChange #HealingTogether #Episode504

Transcript

Welcome And How You Can Help

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes 0:01

Hi everyone, it's Justin here, Voices for Voices. Thank you so much for joining us, whether you're watching, listening here in the United States or abroad. You can give us a big thumbs up, like the like, follow, subscribe, share, repost, reach out to 25 contacts in your phone, let them know about the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast and the Voices for Voices organization. We would greatly appreciate that. We're well on our way to helping the uh reaching and helping at least three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond. And it's because of you. So we just want to say thank you for all that you do and have done uh for Voices for Voices and for helping people across the world. Uh some you may know and some you might not. Uh that's how it is for us too. Some uh we we get direct feedback and and we know we're helping others as well. Uh so thank you for that. We're gonna hop into uh this episode. Uh our most recent uh show that we did uh was uh for those that watched it, and if you haven't, I recommend uh watching and listening to the previous episode. Uh we were able to join a party for one of our past guests, Don Mattis Jr., who to the day uh usually you can't get it everything to line up directly, but to the day of him deciding that he wanted to be sober and drug free, so we were at his uh at his celebration helping him celebrate and wanting to continue to get his message of hope and healing and that you can live a productive life and still have fun and you don't need substances or alcohol to do so. Again, that's his story, that's my story. I'm nine years, so I got a long time to go uh to to uh get the 40 years. I'm closer to 40 with my age of being 44 than I am uh for my sobriety and drug free uh being nine years coming up in November. Uh so it was a great, great time. The the weather was just absolutely gorgeous. Uh blue sky. Um it was not just blue sky, but temperature-wise, it was pretty hot. Uh, but it was good. I I had a good time, was able to bring my mom. She was able to be a part of it as well. And uh Don's really good friend, Monica. Uh it was good to see both of them, uh Don and Monica. Uh they've uh they've been pretty instrumental in what we're doing and in the fact that we're not giving up, that there's gonna be obstacles and hurdles all along the way, and to see a person go 40 years without something. I mean, it's it's hard to go 40 years with or without one thing or another. Uh so for 40 years, that's just it's just remarkable. And again, please check out that episode, it's the one right before this one. Uh it was just again, it was a great time. Um, and just to be around positivity, that you don't have to be doped up or or anything. Um so that was that was a lot of fun. Um it was a packed day. Uh our our child had had her uh had her recital. Um, so that was fun. So it was it was just a busy day, uh busy day driving, busy day uh getting to where I needed to get, and uh I was able to do that. So that made me at the end of the day feel good that I was able to do to do both uh in the in the same day and in the vicinity of where the celebration and party uh at the park was versus where the the recital was. It was very manageable to get there well in advance of the actual recital uh commencing. So it's it's we've we've kind of gone here with our weather from uh winter one week and spring another uh to I think we're you know we're middle to towards the end of uh uh May. And I think that the weather, I mean, yeah, we'll we'll get rain and thunderstorms and that. I mean, just just the nature of weather. Uh so that's that's always a good good thing, especially for me, my mental health, uh getting that vitamin D is is is helpful, uh not just for me, but for you, for any any anybody. Um I obviously unless you know if you have a condition where you're not able to, I'm not able to be out for too long a period uh at a time. Uh, and that's that's due to you know medications and things like that. Uh so it just wanna make sure everybody's being safe and and as healthy as can can be uh while uh you know the weather turns one way or or the other because just as you know, you know, some medications they drop your sodium levels, and so you have to make sure that you stay hydrated. You need to stay hydrated. I need to stay hydrated all the time, if I can, right? As long as I'm able to, and so that's a blessing, and uh to have access to clean drinking water and and and that, and if we need you know a uh an electrolyte uh drink beverage um to to help you know get get those electrolytes into your system. Uh so that that's something that uh yeah, I'm sitting here early in the morning, it's already 75 degrees. And uh yeah, I'd I'd rather have it this way than with with the the the snow. And with the snow, I I I don't mind it. I I just don't like driving in it. So if I was able to be, I don't know, like teleported so you know from location one to location two and that uh because there's just a greater chance in uh accidents driving and and that um but that's just that's just a personal preference and that uh so all in all mental health-wise uh with the weather turning positive uh being able to to get out and and do things. So ten years ago, I would I don't know if I would have been able to go to two events in the same day because I would I just I dunno didn't have my uh psychiatrist and therapists and medication. I I just didn't have what I needed to kind of help get through like coping mechanisms and and and and things like that that I've learned over the the years. Uh so for an average person, regular person, it's like, oh, big deal. So you want the two things. Well, it kind of is because both of them were social-like events. Uh obviously the recital, like when once you get there, you're sitting there, and I've had panic attacks, and and people go, Oh, how could you have a panic attack? All you're doing is sitting there and watching, and it's like I don't know. I if I knew the answer to that, I wouldn't have panic attacks. And so that's what I had to say to that. Um, and just to show that like I'm an average, normal person, uh, you know, the the autism part of me with the the lights and sounds and all those things, that's all that was going on in the recital. So every every class that uh you know went through their their performance, lights go on, then they get dim, and then there's music, and the music's played loud. Uh and so I've had I had a panic attack again years ago watching my favorite band. We left after I think like one song or two songs, and I had if you were to ask me when I was growing up or what if that how I would be, I'd say, well, I'd be fine because I'd seen them in concert and met them, granted, like for a short period of time, you know, getting a picture, pictures with the members of the band, and that uh and and I had to leave uh because the the lights and the sounds, and I wasn't eating very much. I was feeling like I was allergic to everything. My mind was racing uh all over the place, anxiety, panic, and that still happens time at you know at different times. So I look at it as I'm happy that I was able at the core level to go to two events because there's a lot of people uh you go you go to a recital or a concert, there's just by its nature, there's gonna be a lot of people. Um and it's not that I have to go meet all the people and go shake their hands, or I don't have to do that, but it's one of those things where um people are mowing grass, so that you might be might be hearing that as well as obviously, you know, our pet. Um so panic attacks, I could have easily had panic attacks uh at the recital, I could have had them at even though the event was outside and the weather was gorgeous, and uh it was for a positive they're they're both for positive reasons. Uh and so even nine years removed from starting to get the help that I needed and I still need it's a big deal uh now that I'm able to reflect on on that on that you know on that day uh with that being yesterday. Uh and so that's why I wanted to do this particular show as soon as I could after yesterday, because there there wasn't and we uh and then we had you know relatives and and that over over to the house afterwards, and uh I uh I I was able to make it through, I guess is the the way to say it. And and and so just let me be an example that no matter how long or how less of time you've had starting to heal and healing internally, it's probably gonna take the rest of my life and you know to go through therapy and there's medications or what have you. Just something that I'm gonna uh that I made the decision that I was gonna have to potentially work with and deal with the rest of my life. And and so right there showed that like I I wanted to live, I didn't want to lose my life. Uh and the same thing happened, you know, now it's I want to be able to go to my child's recital and all all the different events, and I want to be able to go and you know celebrate a person or a group of people, uh especially when we talk about being you know, substance and and drug-free. Again, we're just talking about our experiences. So Don, uh, you know, as we uh as we film that as we always do with with with Don and say, hey, this is my story, as he says and I say, uh doesn't mean that you have to do exactly like us. Not at all. Uh like like Don mentioned, he said you can handle you know having a you know a glass of wine or you know, you you can do that. Like we're not trying to tell people how to live. We're just given hope where there's not a lot of hope. Let me rephrase that. There's not a lot of hope that gets promoted and that people can have a a role model or you know, a person that you can look to and say, well, they did it, so why can't I at least try? Whether it's substances, drugs, or whether it's learning a new language, whether it is uh starting your own podcast, whatever that it may be, it's just saying, you know what, like give it a give it a try. I mean why not? What's the worst that's gonna happen? It's not gonna work out? Okay. Ask me how many times things that I thought were gonna work out worked out. I don't have an exact number, but I'll tell you this. It feels like there's been many, many, many, many, many many more times where things haven't worked out. Uh you know, a job interview, uh wanting viewership or and listenership to the show at the very beginning, just as we were, you know, starting, you know, episode one, episode two, and I wanted, you know, huge numbers. Who doesn't? And so if I can do it and and persevere, it's huge. Perseverance, impatience, I'm not very good at either. Especially patience. I'm very, very impatient. If I hear an idea and I go, okay, well, I can try that. You know, if it seems reasonable and it's not against the law, uh you know, those types of things, I'd be like, okay, maybe I'll I'll do a show and we'll talk about this topic or that topic. And that's what we we've done, and that's how we've distinguished ourselves from I'd say over 90% of shows, 90 or 99% of shows out there. As we talk about easy subjects, we talk about tough subjects. You know, and Don's sitting there talking about you know heroin addictions and and all those things. That's pretty serious. That's pretty deep. Uh it's not for children, um, you know, to watch, you know, as as parents, and and that. Uh but you just have to know that, and people that have been following us from episode one to over 500 episodes. I mean, let that sink in. I mean, I'm trying to let it sink in, and and I'm having a hard time because I've been told no so many times. I've had a studio, TV studio that's been taken away. I've had so many opportunities, and those have been taken away, and some have worked out, and I could have just stopped after like 150 episodes or a hundred, right? The easiest thing to do, the laziest thing to do, which for someone like me, having major depression, no matter, you know, I get outside or I don't or what have you. I mean, I got lazy written all over me. Like, I'm so lazy that I'm on the couch all the time, or I'm on the chair, or it's like, but hello, over 500 episodes. This isn't like I said at the very beginning of the organization uh at our first event, and going forward, we're not a fly by night organization, and you might say, Oh, it's easy to do a podcast. Okay, well then do one. Go ahead. Everybody, say everybody, the m majority, I would think, will have the ways and means to do a podcast. So if you say, Oh, well, that's all you do, is only do more than that. Uh we're just not gonna share a lot of things that are in motion because guess what? There's people that like to steal things and stealing information, stealing ideas. Again, makes it it's lazy for them because if they're already given these ideas and thoughts and contacts, well we've had board members and then they decide to take ideas, and we're a small, small, small, as small can be organization, and we have had board members that take our ideas that take us a lot longer to implement because we have a smaller number of people on our board and volunteers, and they pass board members, uh would you know, work at larger organizations. So idea one comes up, it might take us a month to do, while board members says, Oh, that's a good idea. I'm gonna bring that up in a meeting, and then they work and they they take that idea, and they can get it done in a matter of days or hours less than what we can do. And the next thing I know, I mean, I can't tell you how many guests that we've we've had on, and we have had to just expedite things because people find out that oh, you were able to reach out to this person and this is how you did it, and you're able to get them booked, and you're able to get a show, and it's gonna you're gonna film it in a month. Well, once again, if they're able to, if somebody else is able to film it earlier, then they're gonna get looked at as like, wow. And that there was one particular guest, and let's put it like this all of our guests are are are equal. Some do fancy things, some have a lot of money, some have things, some don't. Like we're we're here for everyone. And I remember we were gonna be interviewing one of our bigger guests, and I saw, and so I think so we had we had already we'd already filmed it, but we didn't we didn't put it out and we didn't do you know the the proper social media announcements we like we did like we do, and we're behind on that, but we're closing the gap pretty quickly. Uh this week we should be able to get that so we're not you know eight episodes behind on on the social media announcement doesn't mean that the episodes aren't available. They are all the episodes all the way up to this, all episodes are are uh are available first, but to get all the links to all the platforms like Apple Podcasts, Spotify, you know, all uh iHeart. It it just takes a minute to to do that. And my impatient mind wants to be putting content out, it wants to be sharing, it wants to help, and wants to help, and wants to help. So then I I get ahead of myself. And so then we sit here over 500 episodes. Uh so does guest, so you're getting back to us or so it is guest. We'd already filmed it, we were gonna be releasing it on the following Wednesday. Well, I saw a social media post from another organization said, Oh, we're gonna we interviewed this person, and we're we're gonna we're gonna release it or drop it on Monday. And I'm like, we're gonna drop it on Wednesday. But once I saw that, once I saw that organization was gonna put it out before, and I know they they stole the idea from somebody on our board andor past board members. And let me tell you, I it takes a lot for me to get upset. I was very upset. I've put my blood, sweat, tears, uh everything. I've put so much on the line uh with this organization, with this show, with what we're what we're gonna be able to put together here. That you'll you'll find out when you find out. Uh and so it made me so upset. So then I fast tracked it and then I now I dropped it on that Friday instead of waiting until Wednesday, and then did the social media post. So, right there's an example. I could have again, I could have just waited until Wednesday, but that competitive spirit was actually helping me go, okay, Justin, you can wait. Yeah, you can wait. Or you can get ahead of the curve, and that's what we did, and so that's why we're when we that's why we drop episodes so they're available before they're out on social media, because I want things to get into the algorithm and continuously, and so when there are topics, events, experiences, I want to make sure that as soon as possible, so almost like before very many people know that we've done a particular show with a particular guest, or we've talked about a particular topic. What else I wanted to share uh uh and we talk about you know tough topics and uh and so I wanna I want to share and give a I want to give a big uh big thank you to the state of Texas. And I'll just read it verbatim. So this is a social media post from the office of the governor Greg Abbott in the great state of Texas, uh, which as you also know we we were able to interview and present Senator Ted Cruz from the great state of Texas uh with an award uh and and so this this message that they posted, what I'm gonna what I'm gonna quote uh is about one of those tough topics, one of those hard topics. So social media post, it probably yeah. Uh still a little I got the privacy case or privacy screen protector, so that's why it looks like that. So from the office of the governor of the great state of Texas, Greg Abbott, thanks to Governor Greg Abbott, human trafficking is now an automatic first degree felony in the state of Texas with even more penalties for traffickers of children and disabled people. Texas is a law and order state. And so you might say, oh, well, why do you bring it up? Why you got to talk about that? Well, because it's happening. People are taken, children are taken, children are abused, the disabled more than any are abused, trafficked, uh, abused, and I say abused a lot of time, because they are. Um and so for Texas to stand up and not stand down is huge. So thank you, Governor Greg Abbott. Now we need all the states in the United States of America to have that same that that that same uh those same penalties. Trust me folks, this stuff's happening. If you've been following their show, following our organization, you'll know what I'm talking about. I'm not gonna get in specific into specifics. Uh it's all public information, so uh I'm not gonna give any press to people that are uh that are directly involved with with with the things uh like that. So bravo. Thank you, Governor Greg Abbott. Uh, we'd love to have you on the show. Uh we've reached out, and I know you're you're you're a busy man. Uh but that's what I'm talking about. Like we believe everybody should have, you know, kind of that equal opportunity, uh, you know, best person for the job. And just because we want the best for everybody doesn't mean that we'll we want we want to let things slide. We don't. If you've done the crime, you need to do the time. And that right there, folks, I'm gonna read it again because I wanted to get into the algorithm. Thanks to Governor Greg Abbott. Human trafficking is now an automatic first-degree felony in the state of Texas with even more penalties for traffickers of children and disabled people. And if you're a person that's trafficking, you're the one that's doing the things. So you can get upset all you want. But if you do things that are harming people, especially like the that I just stated that the governor of the state of Texas, Craig Abbott, did, then you should be locked up. You should have to do the time. And that's just the way it should be. So I don't I don't know why there is such laxadaisical approach to this. I don't know. For the other for other states, including the state that I live in friends live in. Because as we know, you're either if you're not if you're not for something, then you're against it. It's there that's how it is. So if you're not for Well Governor Greg Abbott from Texas has taken action on, then that means you're against it. Full stop. As Tyra says, enough said, and so we are helping people, and we're helping people all across the world, and that's not me being egotistical or that, but we are we are helping people all across the world, and we're gonna continue to do that, and we're gonna continue to call out when people do things that they're not supposed to do, and when states, cities, townships, whatever, countries, when when people are doing what they should be doing, we're gonna talk about it. And you can expect that, and that's part of how we've got over 500 episodes of our Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. So again, if you're not for it, you're against it. And especially when you're talking about, you know, people being abused, think about your own family. You cool with that? You cool having your family members abused? I'd say probably not so why doesn't the the kid down the street that's disabled who's being abused, why shouldn't the p people abusing that child be hauled in and have justice served to them? So we started out the show with with uh a lot of positivity, yeah. But again, we bring up hard topics, and that just was posted I think it was last night or this morning. So I want to share it because I know we're reaching a lot of people in a lot of states and a lot of higher up positions that can maybe do something or can at least bring ideas up to people that can do something. So I wanted to make sure I I I talked about that because it's important. There's a lot of things that are important. No child is for sale, no adult, no human being is for sale. And nobody should be abused ever. And I don't know, I'll close on this. Get a lot of heat for for for things. So there's uh there's a there's a child in the neighborhood who's over at the house. We have our pet Lucy, right? And she she was barking. She's a dog. That's what dogs do. They bark, they they whine, they want food, they want the water, yeah, they want to go for a walk. I mean, it's like we're learning. We're first-time pet owners. So this child's over here at our house. At our house. Not their house, our house. And Lucy was barking up a storm for something, who knows? Uh so she was barking, and this child had a nerve to say, well, fake kick her. And it was like you didn't you didn't just say that. I get it, she's a dog. But the abuse can be for anybody or anything. Like if you're with if you have a pet and you're not feeding it and providing clean water if you're able to, like, if you can't do that, then you shouldn't have a pet. So if you have a pet and you're taking care of it, nobody's gonna come into my house that I own with with my wife. Nobody's gonna come in to our house with that nonsense. And that child needed to be reprimanded, and it needed something to be said. Apparently, it hasn't been said enough to this child. And so I said it. Said the quiet part out loud. They were also playing a game in the garage. Throwing towels, standing on sitting on cart. And then I was walking out the door at the start of the beautiful day of Don's celebration and our child's recital. Just like I always have since we've lived here or lived anyway, right? Press the button for the garage door to go up. So press the button, snap. Automatic garage door is now busted. And so I had to say something. I've been one of the things about my depression, and and that is I have like it takes certain situations and certain things for me to say something. Like I I don't want to be confrontational and I get it, but when things get too far, and that was one of the things that got too far, you're gonna fake kick or even think about kicking my child's pet, our family pet. Get your ass out of my fucking house. I don't care if person six, eight, ten, ninety-nine, a thousand years old, whatever. And I know nobody loves to be a thousand. I get that. Using it for effect. And so I've started to stand up instead of s sit down. And so if something like that's happening in your house. And it takes a it's taken a lot. And there are a lot of family members over there that haven't heard me stand up and and what they say grow a spine or I I don't I don't want to use the terminology. But you know, kind of like stand up for like thing. Like don't let people come over, take advantage, and and then go home and then because I said, Oh, do you I said, oh, you think that's funny? You know, the garage situation. I said, Do you do that at your house? Do you do you climb on top of your car in the garage? And then do you throw towels on top of the part of the of the garage door that just happened to snap? And that child said, Oh no, no. So why the fuck are you doing it in my house? I didn't say that. I don't. I don't. It takes a lot for me to even swear anymore. I used to swear, it used to be like a very bad habit. And I've I apologize for the language. But you you I think you can get the the gist of what I'm talking about here. And so again, with the for me having the depression and all that, I'm risk averse. Where I'm just like, I'm just not gonna say anything. Because if I say something, then people are gonna get upset or go, oh my gosh, did you hear Justin? What he said to that child. I didn't say anything. I'm allowed to police my own house. I have a child. They're hearing this. They're gonna think this is okay. And it's not. So parents. If you see something, say something. So I'll leave it right there. Cause my blood's boiling at the current time. So thank you for joining us on this episode of the show. We're so grateful uh to have you with us. If you can give us thumbs up, follow, like, subscribe, share, repost, uh, you know, let all the contacts in your phone know about voices for voices and our TV show and podcasts. Follow us on social media. I mean there's so there there's things where I can stop dreaming the posit, you know, different projects go a certain way, and that I can dream on the positive, or I can have the nightmare and as much as I can that I'm able to, and I can't because I believe in God, and so it's it's really his call, what what goes on. But I'm I'm picking dreaming over the nightmares, and you can too. So this has been Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices. Thank you so much. Check out our whole catalog of over 500 episodes. Truly remarkable, and the main reason we do it is because of you, our viewers, our listeners here in the United States and across the world. Thank you so much for making Voices for Voices a part of your life. Thank you, and we'll see you on the next show. Bye bye for now.