February 23, 1456

I’m writing. That’s a step, right? Sometimes you just have to make yourself do something that you don’t want to do? How long has it been? Years? Ever since the Event? 

March 11, 1456

It’s still difficult. That’s it. It’s still difficult. Well, nobody said picking myself back up was going to be easy, but here I am doing that. GO ME! Hurrah!

March 12, 1456

The dreams returned to me again. I’m standing at the edge of a cliff. My eyes bleed with the visions of so many abominations so as I lose track of where I end and they begin. All things become me and I them, as myself ceases to be and my mind is flooded with experiences, too many to comprehend what they, only what they feel. I can only laugh at how easy this has become to write, yet it feels as if language can only skim the surface of what it actually is.

March 14, 1456

They keep coming and language is piss poor at capturing them. I’ve begun to paint, and while I never thought myself a painter, it appears they don’t require much talent to capture something so vague in physical representation. 

March 22, 1456

I started seeking help for my dreams and found a doctor in the city that seems to have some experience with this sort of ailment. They say there is a drug I can take, something just to cut the edge a bit and calm the nerves. 

April 2, 1456

Vladlan Purdue, he said his name was. Left me nothing but a sheet with directions to a building in Harrow. I’ve heard it’s a beautiful city, but what will I tell my students? They’ve already started dwindling with my recent episodes being so unpredictable. 

April 9, 1456

Hello there. I wish you could truly listen, maybe give me some advice? Is this really something worth pursuing, or am I throwing my life away in pursuit of some lunatic’s ramblings and an overactive imagination?

April 11, 1456

Absolutely fuck it. If I’m going to be unhappy all the damn time, I might as well go out with a bang, right? Let’s do it! We are going to hunt down the Vladlan Purdue in Harrow and I’m finally going to get some answers about the legitimacy of these theories. 

April 12, 1456

I really did it. I put in my notice at the university that I’m officially going on Sabbatical. I’ve already started making arrangements for my trip to Harrow.

May 24, 1456

Oh my gosh! Harrow is absolutely breathtaking!!! How have I never been before?!?! Alice, you must get out more just to enjoy things, not working all the damn time!

May 26, 1456

I wanted to make sure I wrote one more entry in my journal before they placed my possessions into holding for my time here at the monastery. 

August 4, 1456

How does one sum up all of that? All I can say is that my experience in the monastery has been enlightening, leaving me with only more questions. While amenable on the surface, I can only feel like the Veil has ushered me back to my previous life for reasons kept all but silent. I think my learnings, however, have given me much to think about. Perhaps the resources at the University may take me further.

August 27, 1456

I’ve been so wrapped up in my research since I returned to the University that I’ve entirely forgotten to write! However, my manic fervor has led me to a name! The Forgotten City! Valerian!

September 12, 1456

Of course I would crash. What was I thinking, pushing myself like that? With all this knowledge of the Grand Mystery, I still fill this vessel, an elven body. Even I still must eat and sleep. If I cannot take care of myself, I cannot even contemplate being productive in my goals. Back to eating again, I just want to remind myself, for later of course, how wonderful a good sticky roll is. They truly do make life worth living!

September 30, 1456

I finally found it! Valerian, marked on some archaic map with strange coordinates that don’t make any sense to me. None of these landmarks are helpful. I must keep digging.

October 12, 1456

This damned eyeball. It keeps showing up in pictures, but it leads me no closer to finding an actual location.

October 29, 1456

It seems that the coordinates were actually related to both the position of the moons in conjunction with alignment with various constellations called out in the landmarks. Who or what has kept this place so secret for all these years? Once I cracked the code, I started finding more references to the city throughout history, but anything recent has been eradicated. I make plans to leave the academy and travel to Valerian in the spring, fearing the trip through the mountain pass might prove too difficult until then.

March 3, 1457

Today, I set out for Valerian. As each day drew closer, my dreams have become more vivid. Is it fate or a result of my anxieties? Excitement? Hope? Nonetheless, I hope that the lost city holds some answers. What I once revered as some major breakthrough into the Truth of all things feels now like such a sliver of knowledge, infinitesimally small compared to what I expect Valerian to hold. 

April 4, 1457

Weeks of travel and I haven’t written a thing! Honestly, the trip has been long and boring and absolutely exhausting, but I’ve made it. It’s Valerian. I will rest at the Yik Yak Inn for the evening before exploring the city. Funny, from the photos, I expected to see this darn amulet in every corner of the city walls, but yet, it seems to be entirely missing.

April 5, 1457

Something strange is happening here. I spent several days, well, at least from a solar perspective, exploring the city in search of answers, yet only a single day passed for me. It’s as if time just kept skipping ahead each time someone referenced it.

April 6, 1457

Peculiar. It appears that I was close but not entirely correct in my initial assessment of the anomaly. They are all stuck in a loop, give or take 12 hours time and any and all reference to plans made outside that frame skip it ahead all the sooner, particularly should those plans take them out of the city. While strange, I don’t believe it has brought me much closer to why I came here in the first place. The phenomena seems related but not necessarily connected. 

April 7, 1457

For the sake of all things, I never thought this situation would make my search so difficult, but I have come to the realization that conversations are so incredibly difficult to have for any substantial length of time needed to find anything useful. I will turn my attention towards more static sources of information. I cannot stand dragging these helpless folk along through anymore of their monotonous loops!

April 17, 1457

The Veil! I knew they were somehow connected! Why would Vladlan keep that from me? What secrets here would he rather have buried? Furthermore, why has Victor Valeria never been mentioned in any of their texts? According to the library here, he was a prominent member, one of the founders, and yet, not a single work in their monastery was authored by him? 

April 18, 1457

The castle gates are nearly impenetrable! All those guards think about is time! How long until break? How long until lunch! How long until their shift’s end?!  It’s like the loop was flashing before my very eyes. I thought about making a run for it but my senses kept me in check. Watchers know how long I’d be stuck in a cell as the guards flung through time without an ounce of memory for why I was found there!

April 22, 1457

Gladys Calderos. It took me a while to remember where I had heard that name before. I take it that the time witch is the reason the monastery was so quiet about this place. Vladlan, too. He must be protecting her. How could he not know, given how close the two are? Suspicion aside, it appears her cottage never changed possession. It might be worth a search.

April 27, 1457

Thank goodness for this diary! Were I not of sound mind to finally check it, who knows how long I may have spent in that cottage starting from scratch! All the research that I have collected in the city seems lost by my memory the moment I step foot out of the gate. It appears the logistics of searching the cottage and being able to incorporate new findings into my collection of research did pose quite difficult. Luckily Gladys left me this amulet. I suspect she may still be pulling the strings after all. 

April 28, 1457

Who the heck built that thing? I have been in many dungeons in my lifetime and yet none have been so absurd and without clear purpose. However, this place may require added vigilance. The spirits are so utterly disturbed, but have given a lot of clarity to the temporal anomaly in the city. 

June 1, 1457

Keeping the spirits at bay has turned out to be quite a task, devoting much of my time with various subduing techniques learned through my travels. It’s amazing what power hides in folklore throughout the realms, but one has to be careful not to take everything at face value. In many cases, the spirits merely needed assistance, yet others necessitated that I pull teaching from my cleric friends. 

June 8, 1457

I finally made my way to the library today, as venturing can be particularly difficult as I discover truly how many trapped souls are in this place. Luckily, the vast majority are tied closely to their place of death and the throne room is more-or-less safe with the exception of several low level demons that have appeared since my initial clearing. 

June 9, 1457 

The library has been a major breakthrough in my search. There are countless accounts of the Veil and some sort of schism event that happened with the onset of some fringe ideologies. It’s no wonder that the monastery would like to keep that a secret. Whatever happened here appears to be the doing of a group called ‘Final Judgment’ , who garnered the favor of some reputable members, including Lord Valeria himself.

June 24, 1457

Vladlan, it's all a lie. I wish I could tell you that and you’d listen, that you’d understand why I must do what I am about to, why I am following the path that I am, and why the things that come to pass have little to no meaning or impact on the grand scheme. It’s all for the greater Ascension.