Timothy (DM)
Welcome to Shadows of Prophecy, a D&D real play podcast following the ill-omened web of lives whispered by the Void, their names repeated in the darkness. Shadows of Prophecy is a Dungeons and Dragons podcast with violent themes and adult language. Listener discretion is advised.
With us today to traverse through adventures of fate and misfortune, we have myself, Timothy, as our ambivalent DM.
Dan (Wren)
Dan, playing the scholar and rogue and herald of hickeys, Wren.
Chris (Sal S)
Hi, I'm Chris, playing tiefling cleric "On the road again with his best friend Wren", Salvador Saltrose.
Russell (Upri)
I'm Russell, playing Upri "berzerker babe from the glade".
Kendrick (Yonce)
And I am Kendrick and I'm playing Yonce Bey, and happy birthday, Beyonce, at the time of recording. Hiiiiii. [all laugh]
Timothy (DM)
Previously on Shadows of Prophecy, Salvador traveled to the mysterious city of Valerian to settle his guilt. When he arrived he found himself tangled up in a timey-wimey mess with Wren and Markie. Wren and Salvador bonded over lost lovers with haunted pasts while Markie sought to make a name for herself. After investigating the Calderos property, they uncovered a mysterious and obscure dungeon, which exited to the now haunted Valerian castle. They followed the footsteps of Alice to parse out the dark deeds of the evolving cult, and reenacted the ritual to end the time loop, thus succeeding in weaving the heroic tale of Markie. Meanwhile, far off in the Enchanted Forest, Yonce and the Sorelli siblings went on a rescue mission to find Upri. They traveled through the magical lands towards the ruins of Ilrune and flung themselves into the Astral Sea, thus sending them on a journey of seven deadly sins. [Kendrick: "mmhm."] Passing sloth, they stepped into the Void and journeyed through the vast emptiness and into the squish of twisted living cavern. [Dan laughs, Russell heaves, Chris: "Gross."] Set into a fit of madness, the party blacked out only to find themselves in a mysterious theater, Blades now crushed and mangled and very dead as the curtains opened to an imprisoned Upri. Upri's patron starts the show with a series of demonic puppets, drawing the party to the brink of death to entice them with their newfound abilities. As the curtains closed, Sorelli cradles blades in her arms and exits the side door and steps into the Void.
Join us as we enter the Shadows of Prophecy. Act One: In the Shadows. Chapter 13 - Broken Glass.
Salvador and Wren, it has been a long day of travel. You set out several weeks ago from Valerian, waving goodbye to Markie and setting course for Harrow. Your next step on your utterly confounding adventure. As you break camp for the evening, you hear the sounds of crickets start to rise in the backdrop of the forest (you've now settled along the Enchanted Forest) and the crackling of fire.
Chris (Sal S)
I love the sound of crickets, don't you?
Dan (Wren)
"Oh, yeah, yeah, it's nice. It's nice and relaxing, definitely different than the city." Wren is, like, laying on his side, like, on one elbow, and just has a piece of string and is playing with Twilight.
Chris (Sal S)
Sal is sort of setting up to cook whatever rations we have left to make, like, a little stew. As he's preparing, he's like, "Well, I've had this question... is Wren short for something?"
Dan (Wren)
Oh, uh, no, it's just, uh... it was a codename used in the war. [Chris: "Oh, gotcha."] Yeah, we were the Wings of Mercy, so we took bird names, I guess is the best way to put it. There was a Lark, there was a Goldfinch, Robin. Yeah, just a whole bunch of us.
Chris (Sal S)
All little birds?
Dan (Wren)
Oh, well, not all little birds, we had a albacore, which was hard to... we just called her Ally. So not all little birds, but you know, a lot of little birds.
Chris (Sal S)
Have you ever heard about the story about the wren?
Dan (Wren)
I don't think I have actually... just, I don't know, it was just a name that came to mind when we were deciding names.
Chris (Sal S)
Whenever I was growing up with Elmira, she would often give us these tales of... they're supposed to be sort of, like, fables, but there's one about how Wren is the king of all birds.
Dan (Wren)
Oh, wow. Interesting. Yeah. I never would have guessed. They're so slight and innocent looking.
Chris (Sal S)
Yeah, they're very tiny, but they use their tininess to their advantage. Do you want to hear it?
Dan (Wren)
Yeah, absolutely.
Chris (Sal S)
Okay. [gets into story-telling stance] Well, most everybody knows that Eagle's the king of birds, but there was a time when little Wren had that honor. So... long, long time ago, when the earth was still young, the birds didn't have any king, no leader. And this was fine until problems popped up. And they started to argue, and whenever birds argue, let me tell you it is not a pleasant thing. Such squawking and squeaking, and it's, uh, it's really not nice. And they realized as long as they had no king they had nobody to bring the problems to. So it was decided that they would have a selection for a new king. But this decision caused even more arguments because they couldn't decide on how to pick a king.
'I think that the king should have the most colorful wings', said the birds with the most brightly colored wings. 'Nooooo, noooo', chirped the songbirds. 'Our king should have the most marrrrvelous voice.' The large birds thought that the biggest bird should rule. And the birds with long legs thought that the ruler of all birds should stand tall, high above all others. And so this went on forever and ever and ever until eventually they decided that the one bird that could fly the highest would be the king. They decided that there would be competition and the word went out and on the day of the competition, birds from allllll around wanting to be supreme ruler flew to the spot.
Arriving first among them was proud Falcon, followed by wise Owl, clever Raven, and many, many others including Osprey, Hawk, Heron, Gill, Blue Jay, Swan, and of course mighty Eagle. As they all inched closer to the starting line, little Wren took his place beside Eagle, and the birds took to the sky! The small songbirds quickly tired, their tiny wings too fragile to carry them very far. And they were joined by Crow and Duck, and one by one competitors fell until only the strongest still climbed into the sky. And Eagle soared higher and higher until each of his competitors gave up and returned back to the earth. Eagle smugly congratulated himself and began his descent. He was exhausted and needed to recover. But as he was descending, he heard a small bright voice chirping from above him. 'I am king! I am king! I am the highest!' Looking up he saw little brown Wren fluttering above him. Wren had quietly, carefully, secretly hidden in the feathers of Eagle, and had riden his back into the sky. Eagle was furious, but he was so exhausted from his flight that he could not fly any higher. When Wren landed back on the ground, the little songbirds chirped in joy and surprise, they were sure that one of the bigger birds was gonna win, but they were too shy to complain. The large birds were furious. 'You only won through trickery and cunning, and that's not fair.' 'Why, Eagle would have won through strength and brawn. Why is that so much better than cunning? No matter; propose a new contest, and I will win once more' said Wren. So the big birds huddled up, and they chatted, and they came up with solution. 'We will have a new competition. The bird that can swoop the lowest will be the *true* new King.'
So, the birds all went to a cliff that was overlooking a field and one by one, they descended from the cliff swooping low across the ground. Little Wren spotted a mousehole in the field and hopped inside and claimed 'I am king! I am king! I am the lowest!' The large birds were *furious* and decided 'Sure, Wren could be king' but he would not rule over them. Each one of them took turns watching over the hole, waiting for Wren to emerge so that they could gobble him up. Each day passed and Wren stayed stubbornly in his hole. Until one night, when wise Owl was keeping watch, staring at Wren with great yellow eyes. But, as the beginning rays of the day peeked over the horizon, they momentarily blinded Owl. Wren took this as his chance, and he hopped out of the hole, and he rushed over to a bush at the... at the base of the cliff.
And that is where Wren stays today. He's still the rightful king of the birds, but he lives in the bushes and hides in the hedges, fearful of the Hawks and Eagles that would come and eat him up. They're still ashamed that he was able to best them in the competitions. But all the other birds still come to Wren for advice because he's so clever and so cunning.
Dan (Wren)
That was great. I loved that. [Chris: "Yeah?"] Yeah.
Chris (Sal S)
And it works because you're so smart.
Dan (Wren)
Yeah, Eagle was a douche anyways. [Chris laughs] Great. I love that. Thanks. [Chris: "Yeah."] Is that just, like, a story that you heard as a... like, a child?
Chris (Sal S)
Yeah, I... and actually when we were in the library, I was looking through to see if I had any more folklore because of all the stuff that Alice had, I was actually able to find a page from the... from a book, and I transcribed it for you.
Dan (Wren)
"Oh, well, thank you." He'll fold it up and, like, put it in his journal. "How's the stew coming?"
Chris (Sal S)
Oh, it's going great. We got a nice dried tomato, some bits of jerky, lots of salt.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah. And as you stir your pot of stew over the fire, it continues to crackle as one of the logs snaps in half and settles. Embers kind of tossed up into the air, dancing in the darkness of night, and you continue on with your conversations, have a lovely meal recounting the events of Valerian, dwelling slightly on the past and remembering the people that have brought you there as the sun fully disappears from the night sky. You finish your meal, pack up, and you head to bed. In the morning, you set out once again for you have a 10-day of travel left ahead of you. And those 10 days go by trudging along the edge of the Enchanted Forest, slowly creeping your way towards Harrow, the City of Glass. And after almost a month of journey, you finally arrive one bright hot afternoon. The giant gates surrounding the city (crumbling walls embedded in the dunes of sand); the city itself towering above those walls. There are three tiers of the city that rise above these crumbling outer walls into the sandy cliffs of the desert like a decadent cake. Bold hues of green and blue and grand domes of golden bronze punctuate the skyline sitting like little crowns on the sandstone buildings. A ginormous ziggurat dominates the highest tier, looming over the city in its magnificence, a feat demonstrating the engineering brilliance produced by the college. The extensive network of canals through the industrial quarters stretch upwards to the lush green landscape of the villa with brilliantly carved gondolas transporting people and products around this bustling oasis. And as you tie up your horses at the outer stables and approach the gates, the doors begin to open. The light from the sun casts rays through the gates illuminating the magnificence of the city, and you hear the bustling of people all about as you are greeted by the transportation center, gondolas sitting in the waters and the warehouse district just behind them.
Dan (Wren)
*groans* It's nice to be off the road.
Chris (Sal S)
Oh my god, you're telling me I thought it was gonna take at least 20 days fewer than it did.
Dan (Wren)
You know what, I could really use a just, like, a nice home cooked meal. Is there like a map that we can reference?
Timothy (DM)
There's not necessarily a map, but there are people who can point you in the right direction.
Chris (Sal S)
Yeah, is there any, like, probably a nice place to stay as well, so...
Dan (Wren)
Yeah, so like... I want to be in a district that has, like, a lot of people and a lot of bustle, because I feel like that's a good place to maybe gather some information but also priorities are food and sleep.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah. So, immediately upon arriving the city, the guards greet you into the city. They ask you for your papers, you present your papers, and you ask about where you could go. Immediately, they suggest heading to the trade district, where you will find the Broken Fang Inn and Tavern. It's a local favorite, a little bit more of a dive bar.
Dan (Wren)
We love a good dive. [Chris: "Mmhm."]
Timothy (DM)
But good for weary travelers just arriving in the city.
Dan (Wren)
Perfect. Do we just, like, rent a gondola to get there?
Timothy (DM)
You can walk there; the gondolas are mostly for transportation of goods and for people of higher status.
Dan (Wren)
Oh great. Gotcha. Do I need to put on my fancy clothes? Just kidding, we'll walk; it's fine.
Chris (Sal S)
It's a scenic route. Yeah.
Timothy (DM)
You are heading to a district within the lower city. [Dan: "Okay."] So it's not too far from here. Maybe takes you 20 minutes.
Dan (Wren)
Nice city. It's hot. [Chris: "Oh, yeah.", Tim: "Yeah."]
Chris (Sal S)
We're in the desert.
Dan (Wren)
The desert does NOT suit me.
Chris (Sal S)
You wear so many layers, you gotta slim down.
Dan (Wren)
Yeah, I guess.
Timothy (DM)
So, you head towards the trade district and quickly find the Broken Fang Inn and Tavern. Outside it is just a clump of several simple rectangular structures kind of stacked haphazardly, and you can tell that it has grown throughout the years, that new additions have been added as the city grew and the patron population grew. You push open the doors and enter a space where there is a rich murmur of activity. There are low tables surrounded by cushioned benches. The scent of lamb and cumin fills the air.
Chris (Sal S)
[tapping the bell] *ding-ding*
Dan (Wren)
That's smells great.
Timothy (Tenebe)
You see a woman wearing a plum-colored embroidered caftan. She has chunky strands of colored glass beads cascading from her neck and a bronze medallion which rests in the folds of an ochre shoulder wrap. Her hair is pulled up tightly wrapped beneath a length of red linen. She comes on over to you and smiles. She motions over to one of the low tables and says "I'll be with you shortly. Please have a seat."
Dan (Wren)
"Thank you." I pop down.
Chris (Sal S)
Yep. I sit down. "Cool place we got here." [Dan: "Yeah."] Are there any other people waiting in the... in the inn dining or chillin'?
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, so I mean, it's rather... I mean, you here about midday. It's rather busy, not cramped or crowded, but the... it is a full house at this point. So, there were maybe one or two empty tables when you entered, you have now taken one of them up, and it is bustling. This woman is going from table to table, bringing out food, pouring drinks, and carrying in trays of tea. Eventually, after some time, she makes her way over to you and sets a tray of hammered copper tea set in front of you. You can see the steam rising from the pot and two overturned cups.
Timothy (Tenebe)
My name is Tenebe. What brings you into the city, and is there anything I can get to you?
Chris (Sal S)
We're traveling, looking for a couple of folks, but also for food and lodging and... yeah.
Timothy (Tenebe)
Well, I can help you with the latter half. Do you know who you're looking for?
Chris (Sal S)
Should we tell...?
Dan (Wren)
No, I think we shouldn't.
Chris (Sal S)
[mishearing Dan, saying we should] Okay... "We're looking for a man named Vladlan Purdue."
Dan (Wren)
[facepalming] I said 'no' but okay.
Chris (Sal S)
[redfaced] Oh! Oh, did you? Oh, sorry. [Editor's Note: Sorry, Dan :( ]
Dan (Wren)
No, it's fine. It's great. *clears throat*
Chris (Sal S)
I thought you said... :(
Timothy (Tenebe)
So, as you say the name Vladlan Purdue, she looks at you for a moment, her eyes slightly widened, and she just leans in closely and she goes "You might not be from around here, but I do suggest being quite careful throwing that name about." And then she stands back up and smiles, handing you two menus
Chris (Sal S)
Sorry, I misheard you. I had misheard you, Wren.
Dan (Wren)
That's okay. That's okay. It's over. It happened. "Um, I will have the lamb with rice."
Timothy (Tenebe)
Wonderful. It is one of our house favorites.
Dan (Wren)
Looks delicious.
Chris (Sal S)
[crestfallen] And I'll have the lentils and rice.
Timothy (Tenebe)
Ah yes, I will have those right on out. Anything else? Could I get you something to drink while you wait?
Dan (Wren)
Oh, the tea is fine. [Chris: "Yeah."]
Timothy (Tenebe)
"Wonderful. I'll be right back with your meals." and she leaves.
Dan (Wren)
Wren is going to lean forward and be like "I was *thinking* that we probably shouldn't just go around slinging names, considering like..."
Chris (Sal S)
Oh, yeah, it's probably for the best.
Dan (Wren)
Especially cult... like, cult leader names [Chris: "Yeah."] Maybe not the best.
Chris (Sal S)
So, we'll-we'll-we'll go with the educational aspect because he was a scholar. He was... I think he was a professor of his own.
Dan (Wren)
I guess. Sure. If we're asked, yeah.
Chris (Sal S)
Yeah. But how are we...? Yeah, so we're trying to find an occultist or somebody to look at these symbols?
Dan (Wren)
Yeah, maybe? I know, I've got... I know someone (I'll have to remember the name... an old patron who came by my establishment a couple of times is from Harrow) and obviously, we're long out of touch, but I could pull some strings if I needed to.
Timothy (DM)
At this point, you notice a very distinct pair of people entering the establishment: a ripped green half-orc woman with long, wavy hair; and Yonce, a taller, curvy man with a short afro. They enter the room, and they begin to look around, kind of surveying the space. Tenebe has not yet noticed them.
Dan (Wren)
We've got some interesting company.
Russell (Upri)
I want to immediately look around to see if I notice who I'm looking for.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, so you look around, and they're not difficult to spot either. Both pairs of people kind of stick out quite a bit. [Russell: "Perfect."] And you're immediately drawn to the horns and the bright pink skin of the very tall slender Salvador.
Dan (Wren)
Not that tall, just so we're clear. [laughs]
Chris (Sal S)
We're both sitting again, so it's hard to tell.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Yonce is going to pull Upri aside for a quick second. "Are you sure you don't want to go back home to the Enchanted Forest? I mean, we... from the theater, we immediately came here. You haven't seen your family in so long. Nim Nim, the rest of the strays: they miss you."
Russell (Upri)
I know they do, Yon, but this is important. It has to happen. Else, that won't exist no more.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Listen, I respect you. I've missed you so much, but this... I don't believe this is more important than our family.
Russell (Upri)
I mean, there were... maybe I would have felt the same years ago, but now this is what I have to do, and I will gladly have your company to do it with.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Fine; I will stay but after this you have to promise me we're going back home.
Russell (Upri)
Ehhh.... it could be a while.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Yonce rolls their eyes and looks at the two... the other distinguished people in the tavern.
Russell (Upri)
C'mon, Yon; let's go make some friends. And I--
Kendrick (Yonce)
Fine, fine, fine. Let's do it.
Russell (Upri)
And I just strut over like I have a purpose, and I sit down in the booth and push Sal in.
Chris (Sal S)
Oof!
Russell (Upri)
Well, howdy!
Chris (Sal S)
Howdy?
Dan (Wren)
Uh, hello?
Russell (Upri)
C'mon, Yon; sit down!
Kendrick (Yonce)
Hi, okay.
Dan (Wren)
"Oh, yeah, sure. I'll scoot." and I'll scoot over.
Chris (Sal S)
What can we help you with?
Russell (Upri)
Um, actually, she wasn't clear on that part...
Chris (Sal S)
The... who? Tenebe?
Russell (Upri)
I think we're here to help you.
Dan (Wren)
Uh, do you work here?
Russell (Upri)
No, we're from out of town, clearly.
Kendrick (Yonce)
The Enchanted Forest to be more exact.
Dan (Wren)
Oh, oh, okay.
Chris (Sal S)
Fun.
Russell (Upri)
D-do you have a cat? Somewhere?
Dan (Wren)
I... [laughs] Twilight had since been, like, sitting on, like, the booth-like bench. [Russell gasps] I, like, pick him up and, like, put him on the table.
Perfect. Alright, just wanted to be sure.
How-- what?
Chris (Sal S)
That's weird to say.
Russell (Upri)
Oh, hi. I'm Upri.
Dan (Wren)
Wren. Great to meet you.
Russell (Upri)
Wren!
Chris (Sal S)
And Sal...vador.
Russell (Upri)
Oh, Salvador. Oh, that do sound exotic.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Hi, I'm Yonce, and my confused sister here... well, I guess she already said her name: Upri.
Russell (Upri)
I ain't confused!
Kendrick (Yonce)
Sorry. I'm the confused one.
Chris (Sal S)
I am also confused.
Dan (Wren)
I'm... same; very confused.
Russell (Upri)
Do you know, like, an older woman, real pretty but like... she, like, can travel through time and space? Well, maybe not time...
Chris (Sal S)
Yesss...
Dan (Wren)
Do we?
Chris (Sal S)
[whispers] Gladys.
Dan (Wren)
[whispers] Gladys, I mean, yeah, kinda...
Chris (Sal S)
She... I don't... did she? She didn't look old in the photos, did she? [Tim shakes head] No? How old--
Russell (Upri)
Wait, was she old in my... [Tim shakes no] Oh. [changing gears] Do you know a pretty lady who's not old at all? [all laugh]
Chris (Sal S)
Several, yeah.
Timothy (DM)
Oh, no no no. Tes. [Russell: "I thought--"] Daphne is quite old.[Russell: "Yeah, ok."] Gladys is not old.
Russell (Upri)
Oh, alright.
Chris (Sal S)
So, other than the age, we'd... yeah.
Dan (Wren)
I mean, like... we, oddly enough, we don't necessarily know people; we know *of* people who can travel through time and space or work through time and space. It's really confusing.
Chris (Sal S)
I think we did that ourselves involuntarily.
Dan (Wren)
Yeah, well, yeah. We also have traveled through time and space.
Russell (Upri)
Right, right. I mean, you're definitely the Ones. That's really all I know.
Dan (Wren)
The Ones?
Kendrick (Yonce)
I don't know either.
Dan (Wren)
What's going on? How did you identify us? Besides that we look really odd here.
Timothy (Tenebe)
Oh, I see. You have, uh, more company. Let me get you menus.
Russell (Upri)
Oh, that's alright. I'll just have a pitcher of whatever is your strongest drink.
Timothy (Tenebe)
All right, um... I will do that. But here's your lentil dish and your lamb dish. I'll get you a pitcher of, uh, some ale. And for you? [looks at Yonce]
Kendrick (Yonce)
I have the kofta.
Timothy (Tenebe)
Ahh, a very discerning eye you have. [Kendrick laughs] I'll be right back with that. Anything to drink?
Kendrick (Yonce)
Just water and your strongest ale; I think I'm gonna need it.
Timothy (Tenebe)
All right. I'll be right back with that.
Dan (Wren)
I'll also take an ale now, actually.
Timothy (Tenebe)
Oh, alright.
Chris (Sal S)
Yes, I... Yeah.
Russell (Upri)
Yeah. Let's get four pitchers for the table. [Chris laughs]
Kendrick (Yonce)
Glass!
Chris (Sal S)
Four? Yeah, I'll take a class. [Tim laughs]
Russell (Upri)
Oh, I want a pitcher. *finger guns*
Kendrick (Yonce)
Three glasses, one pitcher, please.
Timothy (Tenebe)
"I will be right back." and again, she whisks off to the back kitchen.
Chris (Sal S)
So, we're the Ones of what you were explaining?
Dan (Wren)
Yeah. Whuh... How do you know us?
Russell (Upri)
Uh, well, I guess I don't know you. I just know *of* you.
Dan (Wren)
Who told *you* of us?
Russell (Upri)
The-the older lady, real pretty. She-she was in a...
Dan (Wren)
Did she have a name?
Russell (Upri)
I don't think she ever told me her name.
Chris (Sal S)
Did you see her?
Russell (Upri)
Mmm... Yeah, yeah, a few times. She came and visited me when I was... [whispers] when I was in the Void. Do you know what the Void is?
Dan (Wren)
I don't know if I know what the Void is.
Chris (Sal S)
Don't you know what the Void is?
Dan (Wren)
Do I know what the Void is? Not really. Yeah, I mean, like, I've heard of the word before.
Russell (Upri)
Oh, all right. It might not be important yet. I don't want to... I don't want to spoil any surprises honestly. We're here to help, though.
Chris (Sal S)
"The woman that you talk about, did she look like this?" and I pull out the sketching that I did of Gladys from the library.
Russell (Upri)
Nah, she's-she's far too young. Maybe a time ago, but not quite.
Dan (Wren)
So, uh, some woman in the Void told you to find us and... help us???
Russell (Upri)
Well, she didn't really say 'help', but I just kind of assumed. Oh... I hope we're not here to kill... [trails off]
Chris (Sal S)
Do a Perception check to hear that.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Yonce looks at them. "I know this sounds a little weird, but in the Void, a lot of weird things happen and whether we're here to help you (hopefully not kill you)" as Yonce nudges Upri. [Russell: *yeow*] "The sooner we get this done, the sooner I can go home."
Dan (Wren)
Okay, what is this? What do we need to get done?
Kendrick (Yonce)
I was hoping that you can tell us.
Russell (Upri)
Oh, Yon, I don't think they know either.
Dan (Wren)
[*groans*] This is a very odd situation that we have.
Chris (Sal S)
Maybe in a more private environment?
Dan (Wren)
Yeah, we were planning on getting a couple rooms anyway. So...
Russell (Upri)
Perfect. Does it have four beds?
Dan (Wren)
[off-step] A couple rooms probably would have four beds in total...
Russell (Upri)
Thank you for offering.
Dan (Wren)
Sure. Yeah. [laughs] So how 'bout we have a nice meal, and then we can go up to the rooms and chat more in a more private setting.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Sure. That works for us.
Dan (Wren)
Okay. All right.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah. Tenebe does arrive back with your kofta and lots of ale, including a pitcher and three glasses
Dan (Wren)
Upri grabs a pitcher [*glug-glug-glug-glug*]
Oh, all right.
Chris (Sal S)
You've got a... a thirst on you.
Russell (Upri)
Oh, yeah, it's hot out there.
Kendrick (Yonce)
As Upri's drinking the pitcher, Yonce's gonna look at them: "Excuse my sister. She is, um... odd."
Timothy (Tenebe)
Oh, yeah. And all of you are just so improperly dressed for this weather.
Chris (Sal S)
Yeah. Do you know of any linen vendors or...?
Timothy (Tenebe)
Yeah, actually, just around the corner, you'll find the center market. There's plenty of clothing vendors that might have selections that are better suited for this climate.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Yeah, I'm only used to the Enchanted Forest. So... It's really hot here. Really hot!
Timothy (Tenebe)
Yeah, the leather will do that.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Oh, well, ouch.
Russell (Upri)
Yeah, Upri just has furs. [all laugh]
Chris (Sal S)
What was it you... It's like a belt?
Russell (Upri)
It's a two part...Yeah. Tube top.
Dan (Wren)
She had a middrift.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Showing off the six pack.
Russell (Upri)
It's a 12 pack; how dare...?
Kendrick (Yonce)
I'm sorry. Five years changes a person. Yeah.
Timothy (Tenebe)
Actually, if you do go there, there should be one with a blue and white banner. Cairo is the vendor's name. Give him my name and you'll... you might get a little discount.
Russell (Upri)
So sorry, what-what's your name? I'm Upri.
Timothy (Tenebe)
Oh, my name is Tenebe. Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself to you.
Russell (Upri)
Pleasure. Thank you for the ale.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Thank you for being so helpful, Tenebe.
Timothy (Tenebe)
It's a pleasure. Come back anytime. Actually... Are you in need of any rooms? [Wren: "Yes!"] Or have you found a place to stay already?
Dan (Wren)
We were just about to ask; we would like two rooms, please. Doubles, ideally, so four beds.
Timothy (Tenebe)
Oh, yes. Perfect. That would be five silver for the night.
Dan (Wren)
"Alright." Wren rummages through his treasure pouch.
Timothy (Tenebe)
Do you think you'd be staying more than one day? Or?
Dan (Wren)
Oh, yes. Let's say...
Chris (Sal S)
Probably a week?
Dan (Wren)
At least... let's start with a week, and then we can always add more time on.
Timothy (Tenebe)
Sure. Absolutely. I can give you a little discount for that. [Dan: "Oh, amazing."] Um, so that would be... I'll do 40 silver for the week... a ten-day.
Dan (Wren)
I pass five gold over to her and it's like "There's a... there's for the meal as well. And then also some for you."
Timothy (Tenebe)
Oh, thank you so much. Very much appreciated.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Wow. Thank you. You didn't... you really didn't have to do that.
Dan (Wren)
Oh, it's nothing.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Well, thank you because we kind of are broke, so...
Dan (Wren)
I didn't want to say I figured.
Russell (Upri)
Yeah, I-I haven't carried money in a few years at this point.
Dan (Wren)
You don't seem like you carry much on you. [laughs]
Russell (Upri)
"Nope! Just-just Fern here!" By the way, she's carrying a giant sapling, or like a sapling tree attached to a boulder. [flops Fern on table]
Kendrick (Yonce)
I promise we'll pay you back. Thank you.
Dan (Wren)
Oh, it's-it's quite alright.
Russell (Upri)
You want to touch her? [Tim laughs]
Chris (Sal S)
What type of sap-- is it a pine tree?
Russell (Upri)
No, it's more... [asks Fern] are you an oak? I think she's an oak. Maybe an alder. [existential crisis] Oh my god, I don't think I know.
Dan (Wren)
Can I tell what kind of tree it is? I got's the Natures.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, give me a Nature check.
Russell (Upri)
I feel like Panpan must've told me, but...
Dan (Wren)
Oh, that's not good.
Timothy (DM)
As Tenebe pulls two keys off a ring on her hip and hands you them; they have numbers engraved on them.
"Thank you so much" and I rolled in 11.
An 11; it's probably either an oak or a maple.
Russell (Upri)
Let's go with maple; she's sweet.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, she's a maple tree.
Dan (Wren)
Yeah, so I think it's a maple; it's got the striations of a maple in the bark.
Timothy (DM)
And there are, like, little leaves on it, aren't there? Wouldn't there be leaves? So you can from the leaves.
Russell (Upri)
There are leaves.
Chris (Sal S)
Oh, yeah, that's... that's a pretty good indicator.
Dan (Wren)
It matches the one that I have on my bag! I've got a little wooden maple leaf carving.
Timothy (DM)
Oh yeah, you do have a little maple leaf.
Russell (Upri)
It's meant to be.
Chris (Sal S)
Yeah, this is fated.
Dan (Wren)
Honestly, it kind of feels like it. Well... to the market then? Or do we want to scarf down our food really quick?
Kendrick (Yonce)
Yeah, let's see first.
Russell (Upri)
Yeah eat.
Dan (Wren)
We can drop our packs off probably at our room.
Chris (Sal S)
Yeah.
Russell (Upri)
Yeah packs...
Dan (Wren)
Well, WE'LL drop our packs.
Chris (Sal S)
Yeah, you look around, you're like [*shrug*]
Dan (Wren)
Did you just carry--
Timothy (DM)
How DID you two get here? Did you walk the whole way? Did you...?
Russell (Upri)
I picture us walking, [Kendrick: "Yeah"] camping, eating out of trash cans, sleeping in barns
Kendrick (Yonce)
Killing a lot of animals... to eat!
Chris (Sal S)
Oh my goodness.
Russell (Upri)
'Cause systematically neither one of us have any money on our character sheets! [Dan cackles]
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, I mean, you didn't need money.
Russell (Upri)
I mean, I haven't needed money
Chris (Sal S)
Yeah, all your life.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, you were living outside of society.
Russell (Upri)
Yeah. There... like, you bartered; there was no currency.
Kendrick (Yonce)
And whatever money I had, I spent looking for this fool right here.
Chris (Sal S)
So, do you have... like, other than your clothes and your weapons, you don't have very many possessions?
Kendrick (Yonce)
We don't really need that in the Enchanted Forest.
Russell (Upri)
[ominous whisper] or the Void...
Dan (Wren)
I don't know if I've ever met somebody from the Enchanted Forest. [Chris: "No."] Or the Void.
Russell (Upri)
Upri kind of thousand-yard-stares. [all laugh] [Editor's Note: a thousand-yard stare is a military/marching band term for staring into the distance as if you're looking at something one thousand yards away.]
Kendrick (Yonce)
She's been like that since... since the incident.
Dan (Wren)
Once we get up to the... actually, let's go buy clothes and then go up to the room and then we can talk about what WE'RE here for and then whatever this incident is that you're describing. [Chris: "Yeah."] The Void and whatnot. That sound good?
Russell (Upri)
You mean the [ominous whisper] "the Void."
Dan (Wren)
Yes. [whispers] "the Void" [Russell: "Yeah."] Okay, yeah, does that sounds like a great plan to everybody?
Kendrick (Yonce)
Yeah, that sounds fine.
Dan (Wren)
Let's go shopping!
Chris (Sal S)
*batman transition noise*
Dan (Wren)
Let's find Cairo.
Timothy (DM)
So, the market was... is very easy to find. It's kind of the flow of traffic to and from the market is pretty constant, and it's just around the corner from the inn and tavern. You are in the trade district. As you arrive, it is just packed with people. There are stalls with so many different colored canopies and banners and just, like, overwhelming amount of color, of smells, of texture and just SO much going on; it kind of overwhelms your senses. As you look out, you see tons and tons of stalls of people selling jewelry, clothing, lanterns, lots and lots of glass work. Just like stall after stall after stall of, like, glass vases, glass pendants, glass sun dials, like, sun catchers, I should say, all sorts of *beautiful just, like, *ornate* glasswork, lots of copper things and just aromas of various things being cooked on grills. And as you are making your way weaving throughout the stalls, you do eventually come across one with a blue and white striped awning. A man sits behind a counter stacked *high* of different textiles and fabrics and clothing just in, like, *piles* on this counter. You can almost barely see him behind the stacks of clothes. He's able to greet you, outfit you with various clothing options, and does take Tenebe's name as a way of giving you a slight 10% discount. [Dan: "Nice!"] You all are able to find the colors that you were looking for, the fits that you're looking for. [Dan: "Like movement."] And he really... Yeah, exactly. Lots of nice movement, flow... air flow in these... this clothing.
Dan (Wren)
That's gonna be good.
Timothy (DM)
And you come out with a bill of 2 gold.
Chris (Sal S)
Total?
Timothy (DM)
Two gold total.
Dan (Wren)
I look over to Upri and Yonce. "Oh, I got... Okay, I got it." [Kendrick: "Thank you!"] as I pass over two gold.
Chris (Sal S)
So, are we able to outfit ourselves to blend into the general fashion aesthetic of the...
Timothy (DM)
Exactly, yeah. So, now you blend in a little bit more; you don't stick out so much. Your horns are kind of a bit of a giveaway.
Chris (Sal S)
I would like to buy a head wrap of sorts.
Timothy (DM)
Okay, yeah, you can get a little head wrap.
Dan (Wren)
Now you're just pink. [laughs]
Timothy (DM)
Um, there are... I mean, you have... it's quite a diverse city, so there are... you have come across other tieflings. It's not quite that, like, they're confused about seeing a tiefling or an orc, but you were obviously outsiders based on your clothing before and now you kind of blend in a little bit more.
Russell (Upri)
So, there were stalls to change?
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, so there's stalls to change, and you can also head back; the inn and tavern's not too far away.
Russell (Upri)
Upri changes right here. I feel like she's wearing a beautiful flowy skirt that's blue with a bunch of gold patterns, and then a matching tube top, and just in the crowd of people just, like... I want her to twirl around with her arms out. Do I hit anyone? [all laugh]
Timothy (DM)
So, yeah, you bump into several people. I mean, you've been bumping into people throughout this; you're not used to being in a space with so many people that's so crowded. [Russell: "Op! Sorry."] Your spatial awareness is a little limited.
Russell (Upri)
And she's tall. Like, almost 7 feet.
Timothy (DM)
And you are a big person. Yes.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Upri, stop it! [to the crowd] I'm so sorry, everyone. Sorry. Sorry. We're new. Sorry. I'm anxious.
Russell (Upri)
Yon, it's fine. They know we're tourists.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I just... haven't been to a city with so many people. I'm just a little... a little nervous.
Timothy (DM)
It's a little overwhelming.
Dan (Wren)
"Back to the inn then?" Wren, like, walks off towards the inn. He, like, weaves through the crowd, like, effortlessly. Doesn't even, like, make, like, contact with anybody.
Russell (Upri)
I feel like Upri, like, the square shoulders just plow. [all laugh] People just *pong-pong* bouncing off of her.
Kendrick (Yonce)
And Yonce's like "Sorry, excuse me. Uh, sorry. Uh, excuse..."
Russell (Upri)
And she's just, like, staring at the buildings, looking around. [Tim rolls dice] Oh no.
Chris (Sal S)
You bumped into a politician.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Roll for debate. [all laugh]
Timothy (DM)
So, as you're making your way back to the inn, you do take a slightly different path to get there. The roads are quite twisted in the city. It's hard to really stay completely on the same course as you took to get there, and you pass a home that has been scorched from the inside. It's slightly crumbled. The sandstone has kind of crumbled in and at the base of the door, you see a little symbol carved. And the symbol is an 'A'.
Russell (Upri)
So, it looks like there's a fire? Like, on the inside? [Tim: "Yes."]
Dan (Wren)
Like a capital 'A'? A lowercase 'a'?
Timothy (DM)
A capital 'A'.
Russell (Upri)
Is that a red 'A'? [all laugh]
Timothy (DM)
It is in red.
Russell (Upri)
Oh, shit.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Oh, Pretty Little Liars. [Editor's Note: Demonstrating a cultural difference in the group]
Russell (Upri)
Not what I was thinking.
Chris (Sal S)
Hester Prynne.
Russell (Upri)
Yeah, thank you.
Timothy (DM)
With the amount of activity going on and everything being new in the city, hard to think much of it, but it just catches your eyes slightly, and you eventually make your way back to the inn and tavern. the Broken Fang. Tenebe gives you a wave as you reenter, and you make your way up the stairs to your rooms. You're able to find the rooms that are written on the keys, and they unlock and you're able to go in.
Russell (Upri)
Is there a bed?
Timothy (DM)
There are two beds in each.
Russell (Upri)
I plop on the bed. [*AAAGHH*]
Timothy (DM)
And a small curtain over a washbasin.
Russell (Upri)
[gasps excitedly] Oh my god. Yon, they have water!
Kendrick (Yonce)
Is it running water?
Timothy (DM)
No, not running water.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Ohhhh...
Russell (Upri)
It's clean!
Kendrick (Yonce)
We have clean water in the forest.
Russell (Upri)
But don't it smell like... right, in the forest.
Timothy (DM)
Which was, like, several weeks ago at this point.
Kendrick (Yonce)
"Yeah, I think we need a bath." I start washing my face, and you can just see the caked on dirt slowly coming off.
Chris (Sal S)
Ooo...
Dan (Wren)
Should we, uh, reconvene then?
Russell (Upri)
"Nah, we can multitask" and just kind of, like, wash underneath her clothes. [Chris and Dan make concerned noises]
Dan (Wren)
Do you want to...
Chris (Sal S)
...take a bath? [all laugh]
Dan (Wren)
No. Do you... Would you like to start the conversation?
Chris (Sal S)
"Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll fill them in on all the stuff." So, is there, like, a balcony out or, like, windows? [Tim: "No."] Okay, I close the door, and I [Russell: "Oh shit."] "So weeee... went to city that was previously lost to time, trapped in a time loop, because we found a symbol connected to people that we knew." I pull out a binder with all my various handouts.
Russell (Upri)
Holy shit.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Oh, my goodness.
Chris (Sal S)
"So we found this symbol" and I point to the one with the eye and the three lines. "So we found these on a symbol of a coin. We basically found a cult that's connected to this symbol, who was in pursuit of knowledge, but there's also... we found a prophecy that was somehow tied to us. [Russell: "Ooo, go on."] And we're trying to find the... one of the people related to this cult called Vladlan Purdue. There's a person named Alice, who's on the pursuit of this. She left behind journals and-and sort of clues as she was investigating it also.
Russell (Upri)
Wait, Al?
Chris (Sal S)
Al-ice?
Russell (Upri)
What'd she look like?
Chris (Sal S)
"Uh, we don't know; we only found some of her stuff. And one of the..." and I pull out the signet ring that has a 'P' on it?
Russell (Upri)
Do I recognize the ring? Was she wearing the ring when I knew her?
Timothy (DM)
You do recognize the ring; this is Alice Prerok's ring.
Russell (Upri)
I mean, I haven't seen Al in, what, seven, eight years now?
Dan (Wren)
Oh, you knew Alice? [Chris: "Oh!", Kendrick: "Yeah."]
Russell (Upri)
"She hired me." She gives the ring back "A long time ago to bring her to some ruins in the Enchanted Forest." [Chris: "Hmm."]
Kendrick (Yonce)
"Okay, this is getting a little more freaky." Yonce looks at the symbols that were pulled out. Do any of these look familiar to you, Upri?
Russell (Upri)
Eh, I don't think so. I don't think we found symbols. We really just found these mushroom myconid people that grew and ate mushrooms, which I mean, we debated if it was cannibalism or not...
Kendrick (Yonce)
No, no, no, no, no, I meant in the Void. Did you see any symbols in the Void?
No, I didn't really see much in the Void, symbol-wise.
Chris (Sal S)
But the beginning of these journals talk about she's having these visions of things, and she was trying to find help. She found that Vladlan Purdue who sent her to this town to go to a monastery, so...
Dan (Wren)
We're really looking for the monastery. Hopefully, Vladlan will be there. [Chris: "Yeah."] Now, you said something very briefly earlier on at the meal that you were sent to us because there's something bad's going to happen? Did I hear that right?
Chris (Sal S)
Uhhh, more or less.
And no specifics around that?
Russell (Upri)
No, I mean, it's probably related to [ominous whisper] the Void. [normally] [Dan: "Oh."] But that's about all I can gather.
Chris (Sal S)
"Well, I mean, that's sort of what this prophecy was telling anyway. [Dan: "That's true."] It's like, end times and the harbingers of death and how... [Russell: "Oh, yeah."] Oh, they're these four things, too! So, they're references to tarot cards: the Hanged Man, the Hierophant, the Schol-- the Oracle and the Seer? Oh, gosh, I had it written down here and then I put it away. But one of them is a wizard." Sal is flipping furiously through his binder. "But there's an oracle that is a seer marked by a cat and a scholar..." Yeah, he's got a cat, Twilight.
Dan (Wren)
I've got a cat. [Russell: "Yeah."]
Chris (Sal S)
And a scholar that's a wizard marked by floral silks. Any... ever encounter people that match those descriptions?
Russell (Upri)
No. Not really. I mean, we used to know someone who wore a bush, but I don't think that's quite close.
Chris (Sal S)
[to Tim] Is there a bush in the prophecy?
Timothy (DM)
No, nothing about bushes in the prophecy.
Kendrick (Yonce)
She's probably still in the bush now.
Dan (Wren)
Oh, okay!
Russell (Upri)
They were a wonderful individual; miss them dearly. [Dan: "All right."] I wonder whatever happ-- anywho... What were we talking about?
Chris (Sal S)
Uh, just giving you the lowdown on...
Russell (Upri)
Right, Alice?
Chris (Sal S)
Yeah. Oh yeah. So, how... sh-- your last contact with her was seven years ago?
Russell (Upri)
Yeah, I brought her to ruins for... she was looking for a statue of a goddess. Freya, I think... [Dan: "Oh!"] was the name? [Chris: "Okay."] We found mushroom people that worshipped the statue along with bullywogs and created a beautiful friendship between the two societies. It was wonderful. I think I remember her finding something in the ruins, and she acted a little weird after that, but I'd never saw her again after that expedition.
Chris (Sal S)
Well, based off of this journal, Alice met Vladlan after she had these visions nine years ago, which kind of lines up whenever you had your... maybe?
Russell (Upri)
I mean, first of all, what year is it? [Tim laughs]
Chris (Sal S)
So it is 1465.
Russell (Upri)
I don't think that means much to me. [all laugh]
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, so...
Russell (Upri)
Did I know what year it was before?
Timothy (DM)
Upri, yeah, you-you kept time the same way, um...
Russell (Upri)
Where was it when Stew kidnapped me?
Timothy (DM)
So... [laughs] "kidnapped". So Stew kidnapped you probably 10 years ago? [Russell: "Oh, shit."] Yeah.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Wait, and then five years after that. So we've been going to this Harrow for five years?
Russell (Upri)
Maybe I knew Al 14 years ago.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, it's been a while. It's hard for you to keep track of time, given that the Void felt like an eternity, and you were not sure what was going on.
Chris (Sal S)
Time dilation, time contraction.
Timothy (DM)
It's always been, yeah, a lot of time dilations and things. Timey-wimey bullshit.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I also didn't realize how long it's been. Wow. [Chris and Tim: "Yeah."]
Russell (Upri)
God, I don't even remember how old I am anymore. Right...
Chris (Sal S)
Well, I'm guessing you don't know where Alice... Well, we know where Alice is. The last one we knew of her whereabouts she was headed to Pythia or to a tower east of the Pelican Mountains.
Russell (Upri)
"Hmm, all right." [to Tim] Do I recognize that name? I don't think so.
Timothy (DM)
I mean, you know... yeah, you might not know a lot of the geography outside of the Enchanted Forest. You probably know, like, Siag is the capital of Everfear, and, like, some of the big cities. You might have heard of the Pelican Mountains being east.
Russell (Upri)
Ok... Well, we're supposed to be here. I was supposed to find you, and I guess we'll just go...
Dan (Wren)
You're just going to... just gonna follow us around?
Russell (Upri)
Yeah, see what happens.
Dan (Wren)
All right, um...
Kendrick (Yonce)
I guess we need to go to this Pythia place.
Dan (Wren)
Well, we're looking for the... Oh god, what's the word? The...
Chris (Sal S)
Monastery?
Dan (Wren)
Monastery. That's the word. We're looking for the monastery here in Harrow to get some answers from hopefully Vladlan Purdue or at least somebody there. Um, but we have no leads yet; we just arrived not too long before you all did.
Russell (Upri)
[to Yonce] I mean, let's help them with their thing, and then see what happens?
Kendrick (Yonce)
I guess so I mean, there's not much else I can do really in this situation but help.
Russell (Upri)
Thanks, Yon.
Kendrick (Yonce)
But seriously, once this is done, we're going home.
Russell (Upri)
Yeah. Once all of it is done.
Kendrick (Yonce)
What does that mean, though?
Russell (Upri)
I don't know. But I feel like we're not going to see home for a while.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Yonce kind of just looks aside and just walks away. Like a "Okay, all right."
Dan (Wren)
Is Yonce okay?
Russell (Upri)
I don't think so, but we can deal with that later.
Dan (Wren)
All right, but what happened to you? I want... you said you were in the Void. We'd... let's-let's talk about THAT for a second!
Russell (Upri)
[ominous whisper] The Void. [normal] What do you want to know?
Dan (Wren)
Why?
Chris (Sal S)
Where is it? [Dan: "Yeah."]
Russell (Upri)
Oh... I don't really know where it is. I mean, it's in the Void.
Chris (Sal S)
Oh, that was in our... in the journals from the sunken catacombs that we went to "We welcome the Void." There was a family of warlocks that traded their souls to a deity or a patron, and they kept it in the book: "We welcome the Void" or "We offer you up to the Void."
Russell (Upri)
Oh, well, shit. I don't know. Yon and I were just visiting a friend, partyin' a village doing a bunch of drugs during their midsummer celebrations.
Kendrick (Yonce)
A lot of bacon.
Russell (Upri)
Yeah, a lot of hallucinations too. And then, shit just got really weird. Her name was Stew. She's, like, their leader; marked me with charcoal when I was really high and then I think she was tryin' to sacrifice me or something, but then it gets really fuzzy.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Well, essentially, you two went through some tunnel leaving me and Pan Pan there, and then for the five years after that, I was looking for you, and then that's when we I ran into the twins, the Sorelli siblings. I don't... Well, you didn't really get a chance to know them, but they helped me find Upri and here we are. A lot of good people have died for us to get here.
Russell (Upri)
"Yeah. And that entire time, I was [tilts head, eyes agog] in the Void." Thousand-yard-stare.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah. Thousand-million-yard-stare. [laughs]
Chris (Sal S)
Okay, so we can rest for tonight and set out tomorrow? [Dan and Russell: "Yeah, sure."]
Kendrick (Yonce)
I guess so. I guess we'll see you tomorrow morning?
Dan (Wren)
That sounds good. Yep, yeah.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Are you in our room or are we in yours? [all laugh]
Chris (Sal S)
We were in yours.
Dan (Wren)
Oh, I think we're in your room. You plopped down on the bed, and so we'll-we'll take the other room.
Kendrick (Yonce)
All right. [stares at them] Well, bye!
Chris (Sal S)
Bye! Sweet dreams.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I close the door behind them.
Russell (Upri)
Yep, lock it too, Yon, just to be safe. [Chris laughs]
Chris (Sal S)
Once you stay in the Lord's suite...
Dan (Wren)
Nothing else feels right. [Russell heaves]
Chris (Sal S)
Yeah. But this is... this is ni-- eh, I mean it's good.
Timothy (DM)
It's pretty basic. This is pretty standard fare. Just a simple bed, a simple chest with a lock on it. The water basin is just a small little water basin; not enough for you to sit in, but just to wash yourself up over it.
Russell (Upri)
Ah, the lap of luxury. [Tim laughs]
Kendrick (Yonce)
Yonce is gonna pull out some parchment and start writing. Since we finally got a chance to stop, I'm going to write to Nim Nim and the rest of our family, letting them know that you are at least okay.
Russell (Upri)
Seems sensible enough.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I don't know how it's gonna get there. Can ravens fly that far?
Timothy (DM)
There's ways to send it.
Chris (Sal S)
[whispers to Yonce from afar] If you want, I have Sending as a spell.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Great. Well, great. I know... now I know that. Yeah, um...
Timothy (DM)
I mean, you don't... but yeah.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I mean, I mean, I will know that eventually. [all laugh] But yeah, I'll figure out some way to get it there, but I need to at least let them know that I found you and that you're okay... More... well, more or less. But yeah.
Russell (Upri)
As Upri lies in her bed, dan I open my Awareness and see if I feel something magical?
Timothy (DM)
Open your Awareness???
Russell (Upri)
Yeah, we've never done this before.
Kendrick (Yonce)
That sounds kinky.
Timothy (DM)
What? What is this? What is this mechanic? What is going on? [laughs]
Russell (Upri)
So, she's just gonna kind of, like, close her eyes, steady her breaths (make them even) and see if she can pick up on any energies around her within 60 feet.
Timothy (DM)
Like magical energies?
Russell (Upri)
Yeah, any magic: any magic source within 60 feet. What do I sense?
Timothy (DM)
Oh, gosh, I mean...
Russell (Upri)
I'm particularly want to feel up those two. [points to Dan and Chris]
Chris (Sal S)
Oh, interesting choice of words.
Timothy (DM)
So okay, you're feeling up... you're magically feeling up the tall handsome duo?
Russell (Upri)
Oh, it's specifically concentrated magic.
Timothy (DM)
--not sure which one's taller, not sure which one's more handsome. But you're feeling them up for all of their magical energies. So, obviously Salvador quickly pings as channeling a large LARGE amount or divine energy. Y'all are level 7. That's... that's a lot of magic running through him. But you do also pick up on some of the items that they are carrying. [Russell: "Oh, okay."] They'rrrrre interesting to say the least, these items. So yeah, what magical items do you have on your person, Salvador?
I can tell what school of magic they're from, but not what they do.
Okay, it's an Ioun Stone, which I think is... it's abjuration.
Yeah, so you have an abjuration Ioun Stone. You've hidden it right?
Chris (Sal S)
Yeah, it's not floating.
Timothy (DM)
It's not floating above you right now.
Russell (Upri)
Mainly, do I sense anything dark or sinister?
Timothy (DM)
What you notice from Wren is this very weird necromantic energy out pinging on a ring on his finger. Yeah...
Russell (Upri)
Oh, all right.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Do I notice that you're doing this? [laughs]
Timothy (DM)
Like, quite powerful necromancy.
Russell (Upri)
I picture... so Yon, I think you would see Fern lying on the ground next to me standing up. Fern's roots probably start to grow and seep into the floor in between the floorboards and stuff and her... her branches probably get taller and some new leaves start to bud.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Oh, that just makes me goosebumpy. [Tim laughs] I'm gonna look up from writing my letter. "Up--. W-w-w... wait, wait, wait, what's going on?"
Russell (Upri)
What do you mean, Yon?
Kendrick (Yonce)
"This is..." and I wave my hand around. "This is new."
Russell (Upri)
What's new, Yon?
Timothy (DM)
Yeah. As you're talking with Yon, you also start picking up a lot of *interesting* energies from them. They're channeling something... very mysterious.
Russell (Upri)
Yon? What did I do?
Timothy (DM)
It's like an amalgamation of various classes of magic. [all laugh]
Kendrick (Yonce)
[out of character] Was that shade? [all laugh]
Timothy (DM)
It's just... they're channeling something, and it's not one single class of magic. So, like, Salvador is all this divine abjuration, conjuration... it's very clear what's happening on there. But Yonce is channeling, like, a wh-- a lot of different things, and you get these vibes that, like, it's not quite "sinister", but not quite "good" either. It's kind of gray. You also notice that they have several magic items on them that are channeling or that have some magic emanating from them as well.
Russell (Upri)
Hmm... Yon, you been doing anything weird these past couple years?
Kendrick (Yonce)
"What do you... what do you mean? Why are you... Why are you saying that?" Yonce is clearly nervous.
Russell (Upri)
You... feel different.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I mean, I got these new tattoos. That's essentially it. [Tim laughs]
Timothy (DM)
The tattoo is probably the clearest thing, and that's pure abjuration.
Russell (Upri)
Ah... All right, we can, uh... drop it for now.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Yeah, what? Okay... You're being weird. More weird than usual.
Russell (Upri)
Right back yet you [*finger guns*]
Kendrick (Yonce)
Yonce is going to start covering up the tattoos with their arms...
Russell (Upri)
[laughs] I'm not tryin' to be a creep! I'm sorry.
Kendrick (Yonce)
...and... and walk away. "Back to the letter." You notice Yonce is pulling out a bunch of items from his pack and one of them is, like, a small tiny dagger that... Yonce's just looking at it and being like," I miss you everyday, Blades." [Russell: "Awww..."] But that's in my head; that's an internal thought.
Timothy (DM)
Internal thought. Yeah.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I was able to grab it before all of the shit went down. [Tim: "Yeah."] And then I put it back and finish my letter. [Tim: "Alright."]
Russell (Upri)
And I pass out.
Timothy (DM)
So, Upri passes out. Yonce finishes up their letter and heads off to bed. Salvador and Wren eventually head to sleep as well, and the night fades away. So, as you doze off, the memories of the day slip away. And Yonce. [Russell: "Oh!", Kendrick: "Fuck."] You begin to dream.
Kendrick (Yonce)
[sleep talks] Renaissance. [all laugh] [Editor's Note: These are all Beyonce song titles]
Timothy (DM)
You're suspended in the Void...
Kendrick (Yonce)
Break My Soul. [*snort*] PURE/HONEY [Dan laughs]
Timothy (DM)
The darkness and black unending vastness of the Void--
Kendrick (Yonce)
Everfear Has a Problem.
Timothy (DM)
You hear the squishing noise of the Living Caverns--
Kendrick (Yonce)
Church Girl.
Timothy (DM)
--the laughing of the puppets begin to echo through your mind... [Kendrick gasps] and slowly in the distance, you start to see something fading into existence, and as you stare at it, you feel a tingle run through your body from your toes to your head; the hair on your arms begins to stand up. The hair on the back of your neck begins to prick, and you start to feel a cold, wet sweat rolling off your body and as you stare deeper and deeper into the Voi, you start to see it looking back at you. [Kendrick gasps] An eye: an eye watching, staring, waiting, unblinking, unmoving, and utterly unnerving. You feel yourself start to breathe heavily, panicked. Your breath begins to become shallow and quickened, your heart beating in your chest and you are unable to move. You look at it, and it looks at you. And you are awoken by a rumbling as the room is shaking, the bed is rattling, and all of you are awoken by this. The WHOLE inn is shaking. I need all of you to roll initiative.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Oh fuck. Oh fuck.
Dan (Wren)
Where are my d20s? Where'd they go? Wait, hold on. Oh, there they are.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I gotta 20.
Dan (Wren)
17.
Russell (Upri)
18.
Chris (Sal S)
I got a 2.
Kendrick (Yonce)
AHHHH!
Timothy (DM)
So you hear Yonce shout across the hall, Sal and Wren, the room is shaking and everything shakes for a couple seconds and then settles down. As you wipe the sleep in your eyes, Yonce, you see on a shelf in the room--
Kendrick (Yonce)
An elf. [Editor's Note: This is a reference to Elf on the Shelf, a Christmas time nightmare doll.]
Timothy (DM)
--an eyeball. [Russell retches, "Oh god."] covered in black goopy pustules [Russell: "Oh my GOD"] sitting on the shelf staring at you. What do you do?
Kendrick (Yonce)
I immediately use Eldritch Blast.
Dan (Wren)
[laughs] From bed. *BOOM BOOM*
Russell (Upri)
Laying down.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Does a 20... Oh, I can roll twice since I'm... some I'm gonna... hold on.
Timothy (DM)
So, you have two beams.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Yeah, so one's 22 and the other is 12.
Timothy (DM)
Okay, the 22 will hit.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Alright, so that's going to be for 8 damage.
Timothy (DM)
Alright, you so you blast this eye. You all hear this commotion in the room beside you as they let off an Eldritch Blast at the eye. [Russell: *BLAT*] It POUNDS into the eyeball. It blinks and sits on the shelf, staring at you.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I'm not even done yet. I'm also going to punch it.
Timothy (DM)
So, you run over and you punch it.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Oh wait, why am I actually... [taps on DnDBeyond] I'm rolling! [all laugh]
Chris (Sal S)
Virtually.
Kendrick (Yonce)
An 18.
Timothy (DM)
An 18 hits.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Alright, that's going to be for [rolls dice] 4 damage. [Russell looks bewildered]
Chris (Sal S)
He just likes the noise.
Russell (Upri)
Oh! Ok.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I'm making the sound effects.
Dan (Wren)
'Cause we like dice noises.
Timothy (DM)
[laughs] So, you punch into it. You feel the *squish* of the eye and the black ooze starts to drip all over your hand. As you pull your arm out of the eye, it again blinks at you and continues to stare
Kendrick (Yonce)
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Timothy (DM)
Upri, You wake up hearing all this being shook awake. You're very groggy, you see Yonce punching something on the wall and as they move out of the way, you see this pustulous eyes staring at you.
Russell (Upri)
Yon, what the FUCK is that?
Kendrick (Yonce)
I don't know. I don't know! HELP!
Russell (Upri)
"Okay!" I spring up out of bed, grab Fern (who rips up some floorboards now ''cause she probably grew a little bit overnight) and I start runnin' at the... at the wall "Wh-what is it? What am I swingin'.. Oh shit!" and I'll go in with Fern. [Tim laughs]
Dan (Wren)
How big is this eyeball?
Timothy (DM)
Um, it's small. Like, it's maybe a foot wide... So not like
Chris (Sal S)
It's big for an eye [all laugh]
Timothy (DM)
It's big for an eye, but it's not a big target.
Dan (Wren)
Right, it's not like a beholder floating around.
Timothy (DM)
It's not a beholder, no. It's a tiny, tiny monster in terms of mechanics and statblocks.
Russell (Upri)
Does an 11 hit?
Timothy (DM)
An 11 does not hit.
Russell (Upri)
I hit the wall.
Timothy (DM)
So, you swing into the wall, you crash into the sandstone. [Russell: "Oh shit!"] Some of it starts to chip off and crumble; the shelf breaks down, and the eye stays put as it was sitting on the shelf.
Russell (Upri)
I bring up Fern and go in for a second... another 11. Poundin' the wall.
Timothy (DM)
11 does not hit. So again you swing in your sleep-ridden stupor, a little hungover. You chip more of this sandstone off of the wall, and IT blinks and stares at you.
Russell (Upri)
[retches] IT'S SO GROSS.
Timothy (DM)
And as you are swinging around, you had knocked down the shell; it stayed put but then as you blink and open your eyes, it is now to your left. You didn't see it move, but it is now sitting on Yonce's bed, staring at you. And as it looks at you, I need you to make a Constitution saving throw.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Both of us?
Timothy (DM)
Just Upri.
Russell (Upri)
SO, I still have a bonus action? sorry.
Timothy (DM)
Oh, okay, do your bonus action.
Russell (Upri)
And then I take out a hand axe *pfft* and throw it at the bed [Tim: "All right."] as well. Doesn't... it's an 8.
Timothy (DM)
An 8 does not hit.
Russell (Upri)
I throw an axe to your bed. I'm so sorry. [Tim laughs]
Chris (Sal S)
Our deposit! [all laugh]
Dan (Wren)
[consoling Sal] It's over. [laughs]
Timothy (DM)
As you throw your axe, it slams into the bed, tearing open the mattress, and you need to make a Constitution saving throw as it stares you down.
Russell (Upri)
Oh shit, I get +7. Fuck yeah. 18.
Timothy (DM)
An 18 will pass. You feel its gaze lock onto you as if it's trying to sap the energy from your body. Wren, you hear this commotion.
Dan (Wren)
Wren will spring out of bed wearing a pair of (I guess) linen capris, that, like, hit off just around the shin. You know, they're comfy; they, like, breathe a little bit, let your ankles have some air. He's gonna grab his shortsword and his healer pack and just... like, in-hand... and just run out into the hall and I guess burst into Yonce and Upri's room. And I burst in. "What!"
Timothy (DM)
You burst in; you see that there is a flurry of commotion: chunks of the wall are missing, a shelf has been thrown off the wall. There is an axe sticking out of the mattress and this eyeball sitting on the bed.
Chris (Sal S)
Kill it!
Dan (Wren)
Oh, hell no!
Timothy (DM)
Black ooze and goop, like, *seeping* into the sheets of the bed.
Dan (Wren)
I will use my bonus action to Analyze it as a scholar [Tim laughs], which just feels weird because I'm like "Great: an eyeball." And then I-I guess I'll run up and just take a hack at it with my short sword. Is anybody else within five feet of it besides me? Is anybody else, like, next to it?
Kendrick (Yonce)
I mean, it's a pretty small room.
Timothy (DM)
It's a pretty small room. Like, Yonce is probably five feet away.
Dan (Wren)
Okay, cool. I'm just wondering because in the case of Sneak Attack, I don't get advantage but I still can get the Sneak Attack. [Chris: "Yeah."] Does a 16 hit?
Timothy (DM)
A 16 does hit.
Dan (Wren)
Hell yeah! I do a lot of damage this time, let's see. One, two (hold on; I have to think) three, and then I'm also going to... Oh, no, I'm not just kidding. Ignore that. Um, okay, let's see. That is 18 piercing damage as I stab into it.
Timothy (DM)
18 piercing damage. All right.
Dan (Wren)
Right in the eyeball.
Timothy (DM)
You stab it in the eye. As you do, this black ooze POURS out of the pupil around your dagger, and you pull back out, and it *slurp* [Dan: "That's disgusting."] the hole closes. This black ooze now pouring and pooling off the bed.
Dan (Wren)
I'm going to try and, like, flick my sword (my short sword) to, like, get the ooze off of it.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, you flick some of this black ooze onto the floor. It hits and pools out around where it lands.
Dan (Wren)
Ew.
Russell (Upri)
[concerned] Oh no, don't get any on my axe! [sad] Oh...
Dan (Wren)
[laughs] Oh, it's too late. That's it. That's it for me. I got nothing else.
Timothy (DM)
All right. That brings us to Salvador.
Chris (Sal S)
I whisper to myself, "Don't you know that it's quiet hours." and I pick up my shield and my Ioun Stone, and I walk over to the other room where I see the door has been clearly kicked in, and I look at this terrible scene with people and I frown at the torn-up mattress and the eye and the goop and the terror, and I cast Toll the Dead on this stupid eye, so it has to do a Wisdom saving throw.
Timothy (DM)
A Wisdom save okay.
Chris (Sal S)
And beat a 14.
Timothy (DM)
I got a nat 20. [group moans] +2.
Chris (Sal S)
It doesn't blink.
Dan (Wren)
No toll was deaded. No dead was... you get it.
Timothy (DM)
It doesn't blink. As you hear the bells tolling in your mind and trying to place it, it blinks.
Chris (Sal S)
Well... [Dan: "Rude."] Yeah, very rude. Anyway, that's my turn.
Timothy (DM)
All right. Yonce...
Kendrick (Yonce)
Yonce, after punching the eye and seeing the ooze all over their hands, falls on the floor and backs up, and then is going to use Poison Spray, which that needs... so they need a Constitution, um... it's... I can do it well enough so it doesn't hit anyone... um, a Con save of 14.
Timothy (DM)
What if I said I rolled a 23?
Kendrick (Yonce)
Then I would say you are mean.
Dan (Wren)
Rude again, rude.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Rude. With my bonus action, I'm just going to... No, I'm not going to do any.... Yeah, I am. I'm going to get up and punch it again.
Timothy (DM)
Okay, so as you cast your Poison Spray. Again, you blink your eyes, and when you reopen them, it is no longer on the bed; it's sitting on the chest at the foot of the bed. And so you divert your energy to try to make your punch. What's your attack roll?
Kendrick (Yonce)
It is a 16.
Timothy (DM)
You pivot quickly enough to land a blow on it.
Kendrick (Yonce)
And that's going to be for 5 damage. *ppff*
Timothy (DM)
Alright, again, you punch into it. It squelches and squishes, this time compressing a little bit more than before. You see that it's becoming slightly deflated as the black ooze is just seeping out now pouring over the chest and dripping onto the floor.
Kendrick (Yonce)
What is this?
Timothy (DM)
[giggle manaically] Uh... Upri.
Russell (Upri)
I'm gonna run over next to Yonce with Fern, just trying to slam down on it, and I'm going to do a Reckless Attack so I can roll with advantage...
Dan (Wren)
Smash that chest.
Russell (Upri)
Okay, let's see. Oh! 24.
Timothy (DM)
A 24 will do it.
Russell (Upri)
11 damage.
Timothy (DM)
All right, you slam Fern down on the eye and with a SPLAT, it bursts, [Russell retches] spraying black goo across the room, and you crushed the chest beneath it.
Chris (Sal S)
[frowns]
Timothy (DM)
You hear the crack of the woods splintering as you slam into the ground and remove your hammer to reveal a black oozy splotch.
Russell (Upri)
[grossed out] I think I got it.
Timothy (DM)
[slowly] And that's when you hear the screams outside.
Russell (Upri)
Like outside of the building?
Timothy (DM)
[with devilish glee] Uh-huh.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Yonce is still, like, kind of hyperventilating and being like, [frantic stammering] "That was in the... that thing... that thing was in... It was in... it was in my dream. It's [*hyperventillating noisees*]..."
Timothy (DM)
Wren, what do you do?
Dan (Wren)
Wren is going to quickly attach his healer pack or just like... it's, like, on a belt. So, he just, like, clips it in, and then I'm just gonna go outside, I guess if there are screams outside.
Timothy (DM)
Ok, you're gonna run down the stairs, and as you get down into the tavern section of the structure, you see sitting on one of the tables is another eyeball, this one more bulbous with a pinky flesh surrounding it. It sits just in the center of one of the tables and starts to roll around.
Dan (Wren)
Ohhhhh, I'm gonna run over and stab it. [laughs] Is anybody else in the tavern besides...me?
Timothy (DM)
No, nobody else is here.
Dan (Wren)
"Down here!" You hear from downstairs. Come... but I will run over... Well, I'm gonna use my bonus action to Analyze it 'cause I want to use my Intelligence 'cause it's much better.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I could see it as, like, them.... being like 'Hold up' and putting on glasses and being like 'Mmmm'.
Dan (Wren)
'Okay, you've got tentacles there and I see your iris. Okay, I know where to stab now.' Oooh, does a (math) 26 hit? I'm assuming it does.
Timothy (DM)
A 26 does hit.
Dan (Wren)
Okay, I don't get my Sneak Attack 'cause nobody else is nearby, but that's okay. I still do 17 piercing damage. So I run over and stab it.
Timothy (DM)
You *skewer* this thing. It gets stuck on the end of your sword [Dan: *bleh*] and you whip it out. It splats to the ground motionless.
Dan (Wren)
Oh, it's dead.
Russell (Upri)
One-shot.
Dan (Wren)
Nailed it.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Nicole Byers would be pleased. [Editor's Note: this is a reference to 'Nailed It', a baking show hosted by Nicole Byers]
Timothy (DM)
Salvador, you see Wren run downstairs, you hear the screams outside. What do you do?
Chris (Sal S)
Is there a window in this room?
There is a window. [Editor's Note: we'll overlook the inconsistency where Tim said there was no windows or balconies in these rooms.]
Timothy (DM)
I peek out; what's the scene outside?
Yeah. So, you look outside and you don't see a lot of motion, but you hear the screaming coming from your right, which you're looking at the back of the building.
Chris (Sal S)
Ok, so I'll rush downstairs. I see Wren has duely defeated this eye monster. [Tim: "Mmhm"] No other monsters in sight? [Tim: "No."] Okay, then I'll go towards the door to get outside.
Timothy (DM)
Okay, so you approach the door of the tavern. You throw it on open, and you turn to your left, and that's when you see another one of these eyeballs (the pinky flesh) rolling through the street towards you.
Russell (Upri)
What the fuck is happening?
Chris (Sal S)
Okay? Do I still have an action?
Timothy (DM)
Yes, you have an action.
Chris (Sal S)
Okay, it needs to do a Constitution saving throw.
Timothy (DM)
All right. It gets a 20.
Chris (Sal S)
Okay, so it... anyway, go about your business. [all laugh]
Timothy (DM)
So, it is going to roll on up to about five feet away and stop and stare at you Salvador.
Chris (Sal S)
I'm not looking it in the eye. [all laugh] I'm avoiding eye contact.
Timothy (DM)
Yonce, what are you doing? You're upstairs right now.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I'm going to kind of snap out of it... somehow. I'm going to throw on some clothes.
Timothy (DM)
That's right. So you sleep in the nude? [Kendrick: "Yes."] Yeah, mmhm. [Russell: "Oh!"]
Chris (Sal S)
I did not notice.
Timothy (DM)
So in the commotion, you all... you all saw the nude Yonce.
Kendrick (Yonce)
And I run down and I cast Witch's Bolt on the thing that is next to Salvador. [Tim: "All right."] Does a12 hit?
Timothy (DM)
A 12 does not.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Then with my bonus action, I'm going to whack it with my fist.
Timothy (DM)
Okay, so you crouch down and try to punch it on the ground. [Russell laughs] It's a tiny... it's maybe like a tennis ball-size eyeball. [all laugh]
Kendrick (Yonce)
I don't care; I'm knocking the shit out of it.
Timothy (DM)
So, you squat down, go and punch it.
Kendrick (Yonce)
An Unarmed Strike can be a stomp.
Timothy (DM)
Or stomp, yeah, okay. Yeah, you-you stomp it.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I stomped it, and I got a 25.
Timothy (DM)
A 25 will hit.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Alright, and that's gonna be for 5 damage.
Timothy (DM)
All right, you feel it squish beneath your foot. [Russell: *bleh*] But as you lift it, it is still there just somewhat deflated.
Chris (Sal S)
It's like a balloon. Like an old balloon. [Wren winces]
Kendrick (Yonce)
I scream and fall to the ground. [Tim laughs]
Timothy (DM)
Upri, what are you doing?
Russell (Upri)
I run downstairs after everyone else. Can I see outside from the main building?
Timothy (DM)
Yes, you can... you see Salvador and Yonce standing over this weird eyeball. [laughs]
Russell (Upri)
Perfect, I run-- "Make way!" and I just burst the door with Fern and *WHAM* bring the hammer down.
Timothy (DM)
All right, make your attack roll.
Kendrick (Yonce)
This Tenebe is not going to be happy with us.
Russell (Upri)
And do Reckless Attack. And that is going to be an 18 to hit.
Timothy (DM)
An 18 will hit.
Russell (Upri)
And that as for 4 damage [Tim: "4 damage, so you..."] I bring Fern up again for another attack.
Timothy (DM)
You slam down on it. You just kind of nick it and it kind of rolls a little bit off to the left but again resets itself and looks at you.
Russell (Upri)
And then I try to bring my ham-- Fern up for another attack, but she's stuck 'cuz I rolled nat 1. [*winces/retches*] "GODDAMMIT FERN. NOW IS NOT THE TIME!"
Timothy (DM)
[laughs] So she gets snagged on something, and you're unable to swing it back down. That brings us to Wren.
Dan (Wren)
It's me. Wren is going to try and do a run-by swing. [Tim: "Alright."] So just, like... you know how he was, like, weaving through the crowd? He, like, weaves through his party to, like, get up next to thing and tries to cut it. Do I get flanking advantage?
Timothy (DM)
I guess yeah.
Dan (Wren)
Now that we're all, like, huddled around this thing?
Russell (Upri)
Four adult humanoids around a tennis ball eye tryin' to stomp it to death. [Tim laughs]
Dan (Wren)
Does a 19 hit?
Timothy (DM)
A 19 will hit.
Dan (Wren)
Okay, so I get my Sneak Attack in; that is gonna be 4... I rolled another 6 (hell yeah) 20 sl-- piercing damage.
Timothy (DM)
Oh my gosh. So, you do a run-by dragging your sword through it. You slice it in half and fling both halves across the alley-- [Russell retches]
Dan (Wren)
And I keep going! [laughs]
Timothy (DM)
--they splat, and you keep running towards the screaming [Dan: "The screaming, yeah."] which is not far away. It's two buildings down; it is a residential home.
Dan (Wren)
A blur just, like, passes by you... like, weaves in and out of you guys and, like, cuts the thing in half.
Timothy (DM)
You see the door is ajar.
Russell (Upri)
[whispers] I love that blur.
Dan (Wren)
I burst in if I can. I don't know how much movement I have.
Timothy (DM)
You burst in, and you see several black orbs of goo. [Kendrick: "Why it gotta be black?"] with tendrils covering the floor of the room. You see snarls of tentacles, and you see more of these eyes sitting throughout the space as well as these strange almost dragonfruit-looking splodges with eyes all over just blinking completely on their own. None of them in tandem.
Dan (Wren)
Oh god! That's disgusting. How many... so how many total orby globby eyebally creatures are there?
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, so you... I mean, the room is just *covered* in tentacles and tendrils and snarls of these tentacles and-and they're all just kind of bunched up into balls, but there are two, like, sacks of the... this like...
Dan (Wren)
Like an original point? Like...
Timothy (DM)
--membrane filled with tentacles sitting in the center of the room surrounded by all of the snarl and the eyes, there's probably... there's, like, two more of those little tentacle... or the-the little pinky, tennis ball-sized ones. One more of those goopy blistered ones, and then one of these dragonfruits covered in eyes.
Dan (Wren)
Wh-- Gross. I'll use my bonus action to Analyze one of the tentacle balls. [Tim: "All right."] So that's all I can do though.
Timothy (DM)
That brings us... [smirks]
Dan (Wren)
Oh no, am I just gonna get attacked by all of these things [Tim laughs] because I'm standing in the doorway?
Chris (Sal S)
The bonanza's on.
Timothy (DM)
So, as you step into this room and you see this scene, the *whole* room starts to pulsate as these tendrils start to make their way towards you. [Dan: [weakly] "No."] You see tendrils start to lash out at you. [Dan: "Mmhm.", Kendrick: "That sounds like a lot."] You get struck twice: once in the chest and once around your legs. [Dan: [lecherously] "Uh huh."] You are grappled [Dan: "Nooo.", Kendrick: "Is that how you react?" [laughs]] as they wrap themselves around you.
Dan (Wren)
Do I take any damage?
Timothy (DM)
No damage yet.
Dan (Wren)
Whoo, ok, so I'm just... so does my party... [Chris: "Just wait."] does the party just see, like, a bunch of tentacles come out of the doorway and just wrap around me?
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, so, yeah, exactly. So, they're all in the... on the street. They see you run into through door and then they see tentacles just, like, envelop you as you get in, and they start pulling you into the space,
Russell (Upri)
What the fuck?!? [Dan: "No."]
Timothy (DM)
You see these membranes of black tentacles start to pulsate in the middle of the room, and they start to slowly roll towards you. The ground around them is covered in tangles of knots and oozing tentacles as they slowly just, like, pulsate and wriggle around making their way towards you ever so slowly.
Russell (Upri)
Well, it was nice meeting you, Wren *bleh*
Timothy (DM)
And...
Dan (Wren)
Oh it's not done! Oh no. It's not done. [laughs]
Timothy (DM)
You feel the energy start to drain from your body. [rolls a dump truck of dice]
Dan (Wren)
So many dice.
Kendrick (Yonce)
[laughs] I know.
Timothy (DM)
You are going to take 22 necrotic damage [Wren: "Jesus."]
Kendrick (Yonce)
Damn, Geena. [obvious confusion from the group] I was watching Mara this morning.
Timothy (DM)
--as you feel draw towards the clump of eyeballs sitting on the dining table. Can you do a Constitution saving throw?
Dan (Wren)
Yeah, yeah. That is a 21.
Timothy (DM)
All right. No further actions are taken. Salvador, what are you doing?
Chris (Sal S)
So, did you Dash to get to the house?[Wren: "No, I just ran."] Okay. I'll walk ov-- I'll saunter over there...
Timothy (DM)
SAUNTER OVER THERE.
Chris (Sal S)
This is what you get for running ahead. So, how many... how many things are in this room five, four?
Timothy (DM)
I mean, it's hard to count because it's not, like... they're not all individual things. There's, like, tentacles all over, there's... the things that you can make out are, like... there's these blister sacks of the black goopy tentacles; there's two of those. They look slightly different from each other. There are these two *balls* of tentacles that are just kind of, like, rolling around. And then there are eyes *all* over the place.
Chris (Sal S)
Okay, I'll try a Guiding Bolt to at least get the one that's most grouping Wren so they have to do a save. No, it's just a ranged spell attack from me.
Timothy (DM)
All right, make that attack.
Chris (Sal S)
I hope I have good luck. I do. It's a 17 to hit.
Timothy (DM)
A 17 will do it.
Dan (Wren)
That's a lot of dice.
Chris (Sal S)
[*doo-do do-doo*] It IS a lot of dice. So that's gonna take a total of 17 +5. 22 points of radiant damage. [Dan: "Jesus.", laughs]
Timothy (DM)
22 points of radiant damage [Kendrick: "Take that, sunburst!"] *blast* into the room at one of the snarls of tentacles that is currently grasping Wren.
Chris (Sal S)
And I'm going to duck away from the doorframe.
Timothy (DM)
[laughs] All right.
Chris (Sal S)
Oh, and the next attack on it has advantage.
Timothy (DM)
Okay, cool. So two of the eyeballs, the pinky tennis ball eyeballs, roll around the room and they roll past you Wren into the streets, and they sit there, and they look at Yonce and Upri. Yonce, what are you doing?
Kendrick (Yonce)
I'm gonna look at Upri and say "Uh-oh", and then I'm going to cast Poison Spray on one of them, and that needs a con save of 14.
Timothy (DM)
Con save of 14.
Kendrick (Yonce)
May you get a 4.
Timothy (DM)
I got... a 2.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Haha! I meant... yeah, okay cool. [all laugh] That's gonna be for 17 damage.
Timothy (DM)
Poison?
Kendrick (Yonce)
Yes, and with my bonus action, I'm going to curb stomp that little bitch. [all laugh]
Timothy (DM)
So you blast it with your poison spray? [Kendrick: "Yes." It hits the thing.
Kendrick (Yonce)
A la Spider Man, like, I'm like [*does Spider Man web post*]
Timothy (DM)
...and just kind of rolls off of it. It blinks and watches.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Da fuck? I'm still gonna curb stomp it, but I'm very... that's weird. So, it does a, um... no, it doesn't. A 7.
Timothy (DM)
A 7 does not hit.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I slip on some ooze and I fall on my ass.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, you slip on some ooze; it rolls slightly as it watches you the whole time it rolls. It's, like, the eye is almost... What's the word for it? [Kendrick: "Looking."] When something moves on a... [Chris: "Glide?", Kendrick: "It follows your eyes?"] Gyroscopically stable. [Chris and Dan: "Oh!"] It's gyroscopically stable.
So as it rolls, the eyeball stays the same.
So as it rolls, the eyeball stays facing the same direction, just like rolling in its socket to maintain its gaze on you.
Russell (Upri)
That's unsettling. Does it also make *squish squish squish*?
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, it kind of makes a weird little, like, squishy noise as it... it has this, like, mucousy film over it [Russell retches] that it leaves this, like, trail as if a slug was moving, yeah.
Russell (Upri)
Oh, okay.
Timothy (DM)
Upri.
Russell (Upri)
I'm gonna yank Fern out of the ground. Maybe a chunk of stone flies up and hits a building nearby because you know, I love collateral damage, and I'm going to run towards everyone and try to get, like, equidistant between all... as many enemies as I can.
Timothy (DM)
So do you want to run into the house? Or are you stopping by these eyeballs? 'Cause the eyeballs have... they made their way out of the house and down the street towards you.
Russell (Upri)
Ok, so they're not in front of the house?
Timothy (DM)
But if you run into the house, then there's a lot of shit in there.
Russell (Upri)
No, I think I would help Yon first.
Dan (Wren)
[sad] Awww. [laughs]
Russell (Upri)
Well...
Dan (Wren)
No, do what you're gonna do.
Chris (Sal S)
Don't worry, I'm on the case.
Russell (Upri)
I run up to the two eyeballs near Yon, and I go into a rage. [yells] *Hoo-WEE!*
Timothy (DM)
Alright, so you rage; you feel the energy, and you feel this, like, wild surge of magic building up in you.
Russell (Upri)
[rolls Surge Magic dice] Oo, let's see what a 6 does. Ha! That's the one I wanted. Just a bunch of pretty rainbow colors explode outward in a 10 foot radius all around me and there's just, like... beaut-- like, it lights up the entire area in the neighborhood in the middle of the night. Pretty flowing rainbow colors and I have +1 to AC as does Yon.
Chris (Sal S)
Wow, golden.
Timothy (DM)
Lovely.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I didn't put on clothes, so I do have armor. Hehe
Timothy (DM)
You do not have armor; you do... it takes 10 minutes to put on your armor.
Kendrick (Yonce)
My tattoos!
Timothy (DM)
You have your tattoos. [laughs]
Russell (Upri)
So, basically, anyone within 10 feet of me, an ally gets +1 to AC.
Chris (Sal S)
Oh, so we better bunch up. [Russel: "Yeah."]
Dan (Wren)
Well, I would if I could. [Chris: "Yeah."]
Russell (Upri)
And then I'm gonna--
Kendrick (Yonce)
You're technically bunched up already. [Dan: "Yeah.", laughs]
Russell (Upri)
--slam Fern into the eyeball that Yon stomped
Kendrick (Yonce)
Well, slipped on.
Dan (Wren)
Tried to stomp.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Tried to stomp.
Russell (Upri)
And I'm gonna do a Reckless Attack; that will be 16 to hit?
Timothy (DM)
16 will hit.
Russell (Upri)
And that is for 12 damage. (Math is hard) [Tim: "12 damage."] And then I rear up Fern again going for a second strike. Does a 13 it? [Tim: "It does."] And that will be for 8 damage, bludgeoning.
Timothy (DM)
So you slam two hits down on it, and it splashes across the street. [Russell: "Oo."] That kind of pink pus-y fluid seeps out of it beneath your hammer. [Russell retches, Dan blehs]
Russell (Upri)
Does Fern react at all to the... does she take a little drink? [*Hannibal Lecter noises*]
Timothy (DM)
Nooo... [Russell: "Alright."] This is not something that Fern's interested in consuming, uh-uh.
Russell (Upri)
Alright, cool. Good to know.
Timothy (DM)
All right, that leads us to [points to Dan] you are [Dan: "Currently..."] going to feel another eyeball behind you. You whip your head as far around as you can as it pulls your gaze towards it. [Dan: "Ick."] Can you make a Constitution saving throw as you see one of the pustulous eyes floating in space five feet to your right?
Dan (Wren)
Oh, I don't get to go? Isn't it my turn?
Timothy (DM)
[sing-songy] Not yet...
Dan (Wren)
That is a 23. Suck it, eyeball!
Timothy (DM)
A 23 will save.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Well, if you 're kinky.
Chris (Sal S)
[ever the Puritan] Oh gosh.
Timothy (DM)
You are able to pull your gaze away from it, and it is now your turn.
Dan (Wren)
Yes! So one is glowing, right? With a Guiding Bolt, it's kinda shimmering?
Timothy (DM)
Yes, it's like a snarl of tentacles.
Russell (Upri)
And you see some beautiful rainbow colors coming from outside.
Dan (Wren)
And am I within melee distance of that one? I'm assuming because I'm being dragged towards it, right? [Tim: "Mmhm."] Great, and I can attack while I'm grappled, right?
Timothy (DM)
So, you can attack the tentacles themselves. [Dna: "Mmhm."] The snarl is 10 feet away from you. [Dan: "Gotcha."] But you can attack the tentacle.
Dan (Wren)
Are they also glowy? As in do I get advantage?
Timothy (DM)
The whole thing is, yeah.
Dan (Wren)
Then I'm going to try and slice these tentacles off of me. Does a... oo, so I rolled two 11s, so does a... what is that? 18 hit? [Tim: "An 18 does hit"] Great, and I get all on my dice. 16 slashing... or piercing damage or I guess I'm slashing.
Timothy (DM)
So, you cut one of the tendrils off; it drops to the floor.
Dan (Wren)
As my bonus action, I will reach into my healer's pack and pull out this, like, small bottle of smelling salts and just take a *big* huff [Russell: "Oh god."] and I heal myself for... oo! 11 damage. That's pretty good, actually. I rolled two... I have a new ability as field surgeon; it allows me to double my dice whenever I heal somebody.
Chris (Sal S)
Oh!
Timothy (DM)
All right.
Dan (Wren)
I expend more superiority dice, but that's okay.
Timothy (DM)
Make a Strength saving throw to escape its grasp
Dan (Wren)
Oh, fair enough. 13?
Timothy (DM)
You're unable to wriggle free of its tendrils as it begins to reel you towards it.
Dan (Wren)
Bring it... no, I'm just kidding.
Timothy (DM)
And the other snarl then shoots its tendrils at you... as well. [Dan laughs painfully] You get grasped by these tendrils. They wrap themselves around your waist, and now it starts to pull you in the other direction. These two snarls, pulling you in two different directions, yanking on your body but unable to reel you in towards them. You're maybe equidistant between them five feet in either direction. Make another Strength saving throw.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I guess bye Wren.
Dan (Wren)
10.
Timothy (DM)
All right. It's starts to PUULLLL on your spine as one is wrapped around your leg. The other is wrapped around your torso, and you start to feel the vertebrae in your lower spine start to pull on each other, the tendons starting to tear... [Dan: "That doesn's sound good."] and the sacks of black tentacles roll on up to you. You feel the ground is covered in tendrils; it starts to grasp at your ankles.
Dan (Wren)
How many actions does this FUCKING thing have?
Chris (Sal S)
Well, there's three things.
Timothy (DM)
There's *many* things going on.
Dan (Wren)
Oh, I thought I was... I thought this... I thought that I was grappled by the sack of tentacles. Got it.
Timothy (DM)
You're... You're grappled by two snarls of tentacles and then there is a membrane sack of tentacles
Dan (Wren)
Got it: separate entities.
Timothy (DM)
... two of tthose that have been rolling towards you slowly. Now that one has reached you, it starts to make little lashes at you as these tentacles break the membrane. It splashes liquid at your feet and little tendrils from within start to lash at you. As one of them licks your ankle, [Dan: *bleh*, Kendrick: "Heh, ankle biter."] You're going to take 7 necrotic damage as the other one reaches you as well. [Dan: "Great!"]
Kendrick (Yonce)
Sounds like an orgy.
Timothy (DM)
And bursts. Make a Constitution saving throw.
Russell (Upri)
Wait, it just explodes? [Tim: "Mmhm."]
Dan (Wren)
20. Dirty 20.
Timothy (DM)
You feel the burning of the liquid on your skin, but you are able to FORTIFY your will and persevere.
Dan (Wren)
OWWW.
Kendrick (Yonce)
'I won't get burnt.'
Timothy (DM)
There's so much shit in this room. I'm so sorry, Wren, because you feel more eyes all around you. Unfortunately, they don't do anything. [Dan: "He-he!"] Salvador, it's your turn.
Chris (Sal S)
After Salvador is, like, looking at his watch waiting for all these things to attack it, I'm gonna shout back to Yon and Upri.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, he is just... Wren right now is just, like, OVERCOME with tentacles, bursting liquid, shit all over. Everything is just, like, engulfing him, trying to rip him apart.
Chris (Sal S)
"Those poor capris." [all laugh]
Dan (Wren)
These poor capris.
Chris (Sal S)
I'm gonna shout back. "We're gonna need some backup up here." and I'm gonna go into the doorway again, and I'm gonna say to one of the tambling... the shambling tentacles are pulling Wren apart. I'm gonna say "Has anybody ever told you that you're too clingy? Nobody likes clingy." and I'm gonna cast a Guiding Bolt at it. [all laugh]
Timothy (DM)
Oh, ok, I was, like, are you trying to use a language-based Vicious Mockery right now?
Chris (Sal S)
Okay, that's gonna be a 22 to hit.
Timothy (DM)
A 22 will hit.
Chris (Sal S)
And that's gonna be another whole boatload of damage.
Dan (Wren)
Hell yeah, and we're gonna cut one of these things apart.
Chris (Sal S)
27 points of radiant damage.
Timothy (DM)
27 points of radiant damage. This tendril is blasted by your Guiding Bolt. Chunks of it are sloughing off, tendrils are just falling away and flopping to the floor, motionless. It is rather shrunk in size, but it is still moving; it is still latched on to Wren, but this one is starting to lose its fight with its companion as Wren starts to be pulled towards the other snarl.
Dan (Wren)
Eh, it's better than being torn apart, so... [Tim laughs]
Timothy (DM)
Yonce, what do you?
Kendrick (Yonce)
I am going to... 'cause apparently Poison Spray did not WORK... I going to get up and then run over to Salvador and Wren and cast two Eldritch Blasts.
Dan (Wren)
You get this scene for the first time. [laughs]
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, you see Wen is being ripped apart by tendril over tendril over tendril, just, like, waves of goopy black ooze and *covered* in this viscous liquid.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I'm going to look at them as I'm about to cast my Eldritch Blast, like, "Damn!" Um, does a 10 and 23 hit? [Tim: "The 23 will."] All right, so that will be for 9 damage and then with my bonus action, I'm going to curb stomp because that's my Word of the Day. Curb stomp the one... "Which one's hurting you the most?"
Timothy (DM)
So as you blast the one snarl, it explodes, shattering... spraying more black ooze across the room. These tentacles fly out and *fling* into the walls, dropping to the ground, motionless.
Chris (Sal S)
Was that the Guided Bolt one? [Tim: "Yes." ] Okay.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Oh, so we're done?
Timothy (DM)
[bluntly] No.
Dan (Wren)
[laughs] God no.
Chris (Sal S)
There's like four other things in this room.
Kendrick (Yonce)
'Cause I heard all of them... Oh, then I'm going to curb stomp the next one.
Timothy (DM)
You're gonna run to the center of the room, and you're gonna punch this snarl of tentacles. As you do, the ground is covered in more tendrils. It is difficult terrain, and you go into punch it. Make your attack roll.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I got a 20.
Timothy (DM)
You land that blow right into the mass of tentacles [Kendrick: "For 4 damage."] Alright, your hands sinks into the mass--
Kendrick (Yonce)
My foot.
Timothy (DM)
-- you feel the tentacles... your foot? This one's much bigger. This is a medium-sized creature.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Oh, then my hand, my fist.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, so this is a medium-sized creature. So, you punch into it. You hit deep into it. You feel the tentacles, like, around your arm. You pull it back out, and that is Upri's turn.
Russell (Upri)
There's still one out on the street, right?
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, one of the little tennis balls.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Oh, I forgot about that one. My bad.
Russell (Upri)
I'm just gonna run away from it and let it get me.
Timothy (DM)
It follows behind you.
Russell (Upri)
Great. I get to the building, look inside. Wren is still bound?
Dan (Wren)
Yep, there's still one more tentacle... ball.
Russell (Upri)
All right, I go "Hold on, new friend." and then I just... I want to run into the room, leap up in the air and just try to slam Fern into the tentacle with a Reckless Attack.
Timothy (DM)
All right, make an attack.
Kendrick (Yonce)
You're so reckless.
Russell (Upri)
Does the 17 hit? [Tim: "Mmhm. Yes."] Ooo, oh-oh-oh, 15 bludgeoning damage.
Timothy (DM)
Alright, you slam down into it.
Russell (Upri)
And then can I, like, pivot off of Fern and do a flip and then another slam? [Dan laughs] For dramatic?
Timothy (DM)
Sure, dramatic effect.
Russell (Upri)
Perfect. That's another 18 to hit. [Tim: "18 will hit."]. And that does 10 bludgeoning damage.
Timothy (DM)
All right. So, you are swinging, slamming into it, flinging tentacles off into the walls. The stuff is splashing, splattering, breaking off as it begins to lose its thickness of its form. It starts to lose its density... And that's when, Upri.
Russell (Upri)
We all +1 AC!
Chris (Sal S)
Oh, is it like a box that follows you?
Russell (Upri)
It's a... yeah, just a 10 foot aura of rain-- of gay queer energy protecting all of us. [Dan laughs, Chris: "How cool."]
Timothy (DM)
Can you make a Constitution saving throw?
Russell (Upri)
I don't wanna.
Dan (Wren)
You're probably good at that.
Chris (Sal S)
But your Constitution is so good.
Russell (Upri)
Oh, that's a 10. [Dan laughs]
Timothy (DM)
A 10. Okay, so as you are slamming into it, you're spinning, doing a flip. There's chaos throughout the room. You look up and one of the pustulous eyes is floating right in front of you and it LOCKS on its gaze to you, and you feel ALL of your energy is pulled in towards it. [Russell inhales] You're gonna take 12 necrotic damage.
Russell (Upri)
We LOVE necrotic.
Timothy (DM)
Wren.
Dan (Wren)
Oh God, so I only have one tentacle buddy left, which is good. [Tim: "Yeah."] So I'm going to shift my analysis to that one as a bonus action. [Tim: "Mmhm."] So I'm analyzing it now. Are we flanking it, or are we... is it just, like, next to me? I don't know what the...
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, it's now flanked.
Dan (Wren)
Yeah, hell yeah. I love having advantage. It's my whole thing, it just helps me so much. Um, does a 20 (dirty 20) hit? [Tim: "A dirty 20 does hit."] I do 16 piercing damage. [Russell: "Shit", Tim: "Alright."] As I shove my sword into it.
Timothy (DM)
You shove your sword right into, like, the bulk of the mass. You see that the tentacles, like, flare up around, and they start to flail and flap about. It is lumping about... I don't know how else to explain it. It's just, like, it's no longer a round collection of tentacles but now this, like, irregular shape of things that are kind of twitching and flapping about.
Dan (Wren)
Gotcha; is it still holding on to me?
Timothy (DM)
It is still holding on. [Dan: "Dammit, ok"] You can make a Strength saving throw to try to escape.
Dan (Wren)
Oh, a Nat 20! Which is a 19. [Russell retches]
Timothy (DM)
You rip yourself out from the tentacle and are able to back away from it.
Dan (Wren)
Nice. Fuck!
Russell (Upri)
Yeah, you don't look so good.
Dan (Wren)
Yeah, I don't feel so good either.
Timothy (DM)
It begins to flail about and goes after Upri now.
Russell (Upri)
Those pants look great though, those capris.
Dan (Wren)
They're covered in guck, yeah.
Chris (Sal S)
It's distressed.
Timothy (DM)
I rolled in 11, so that's gonna miss [Russell: "16."] and... we've got the little blister that is right up there in the mix, and it is going to burst. I need everybody in the room [Dan: "Oh god."] to make a Dexterity saving throw.
Dan (Wren)
Oo! I'm good at that. A 15.
Russell (Upri)
I get advantage... oh, thank God 'cause that was a nat 1.
Kendrick (Yonce)
That is a 23, a Nat 10.
Chris (Sal S)
I fail.
Russell (Upri)
12.
Timothy (DM)
Alright, so Salvador and Upri fail, and you are going to take 14 necrotic damage as you are caught in this splash
Russell (Upri)
*ACK* Shit, that stings.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I'm assuming I duck out... we duck out the way.
Dan (Wren)
We dodge.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, you you dodge...
Russell (Upri)
You stand behind me.
Dan (Wren)
I stand behind Upri.
Timothy (DM)
...and stand behind Upri.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I do the Matrix, like... [Dan: "Back bend.."] exactly. I'm like, "Oh, fuck. My back problems are back."
Dan (Wren)
Your back problem? I was being pulled in TWO DIRECTIONS! My back problems.
Chris (Sal S)
Well, now you're... yeah...
Dan (Wren)
People pay a lot of money to have their spines be compressed. [Dan laughs]
Timothy (DM)
Salvador, it's your turn.
Chris (Sal S)
Okay, how many are left in this room? Just two?
Timothy (DM)
So there is the snarl that Wren just escaped; there was an eye but you don't know where it went (it disappeared when you blinked and is somewhere else in this room) and the tennis ball eye is following Upri just kind of rolling behind her.
Russell (Upri)
Just vibing [Dan laughs]
Timothy (DM)
... and then the cluster of eyes is still sitting on the dining room table.
Dan (Wren)
The dragon fruit eye.
Chris (Sal S)
And only the snarl has been attacked so far. [Tim: "Correct."] Okay, I'm gonna... I'm gonna Tol the Dead on this one. I'm gonna say... Well, I'm not gonna say anything. It just has to do Constitution saving throw or Wisdom saving throw.
Timothy (DM)
[laughs] Salvador's, like, 'Do I want to say something witty?'
Chris (Sal S)
He's like, 'I don't like you.'
Kendrick (Yonce)
'Hehe, you're cling-- wait, I said that already.'
Timothy (DM)
It's a Con save? [Chris: "Yeah."] It gets a 3!
Chris (Sal S)
It fails! So it's gonna take 2d12 of necrotic damage, and it only gets 4. So... that's a bummer. [Rusell: *DONG*]
Timothy (DM)
So, you see the tendrils start to twitch.
Kendrick (Yonce)
It's more like a *DING*. [Dan laughs]
Timothy (DM)
And we're back up to Yonce.
Kendrick (Yonce)
All right, I am going to... I won't do Shatter. That would be bad for everyone. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, I am going to do Hellish Rebuke at the 3rd level.
Timothy (DM)
That's a reaction spell. You can't do that unless it attacks you.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Oh, I can't do it even though it's a 3rd level slot?
Timothy (DM)
No, it's a reaction. You do it as a reaction to taking damage.
Chris (Sal S)
Oh, that I could have done Hellish Rebuke.
Timothy (DM)
Do you want to do Hellish Rebuke?
Chris (Sal S)
Yeah, so it has to do a Dexterity saving throw.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Then I-I look... and I'm like, "Oh, wait. I'll let you finish."
Timothy (DM)
So, as you point at it, it is going to burst up into flames. Everything just starts to shrivel. How much damage do you take?
Chris (Sal S)
Do I take? Do I deal [Tim: "You deal."] It takes 5 points of fire damage.
Timothy (DM)
Okay. It BURSTS into flames. It shrivels into a husk of char. It is dead.
Kendrick (Yonce)
So, I won't go up to that one.
Russell (Upri)
And fire's effective?
Timothy (DM)
You got that.. Yeah, fire seems to be effective: it kills the thing. There's the clump of eye and the other eye has gone missing.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Alright, I'm gonna go for the clump of eye and shoot two Eldritch Blasts at it. So that's one and that's two... oh, I got a nat 20, so 26, and then I got to 25.
Timothy (DM)
Both will hit and roll crit damage on one of them.
Kendrick (Yonce)
So, the crit is going to be 18. [Tim: "18"] And then the other one's going to be 10. So 28 damage.
Timothy (DM)
So you BLAST it with your Eldritch Blast beam.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I feel like I'm doing the arm push like *pow-pow-pow-pow*.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, and your beams of force smack into it and just it bursts all over the room. This one has this, like, almost green tint to the black ooze that comes out of it.
Kendrick (Yonce)
That's my vibe.
Dan (Wren)
It's dead?
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, it's dead. [Dan: "Oh!"]
Kendrick (Yonce)
And then can I just punch the air to see if I hit the other eye?
Timothy (DM)
You punch the air. You don't hit the other eye.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Oh, I was gonna use Unarmed Strike.
Timothy (DM)
I am not gonna let you roll for randomly punching the air. Uh... Upri.
Kendrick (Yonce)
That's inspiration right there.
Timothy (DM)
Would you like to do a Perception check to try to find the missing eye?
Russell (Upri)
That's all that's left?
Timothy (DM)
Yes. So you think... [Russell: "Sure..."] It's the only thing you've lost track of; everything else in the room seems to be more or less still. There's some dripping of ooze off surfaces.
Russell (Upri)
That's only 12.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Sounds like a bath house.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, you scan the room looking for that one eye that tried to get you earlier, and it's nowhere to be seen.
Russell (Upri)
Cool. I'm gonna do something really stupid then. [Tim: "All right." Dan: "Yay."] I'm gonna pull out my Handaxe of Wonder and just focus on it.
Timothy (DM)
Just focus on the handaxe?
Russell (Upri)
To use its ability!
Timothy (DM)
What's its ability again?
Russell (Upri)
Mama, you don't remember give me a Wild Surge handaxe. [Dan laughs]
Timothy (DM)
I don't remember what the things are! And tell our listeners! Tell our listeners what the... what does it do? [Dan echoes]
Russell (Upri)
But I want it to be a surprise.
Dan (Wren)
You're about to tell us, right?
Russell (Upri)
Oh, shit... [Tim and Dan laugh] I can't see nothing, right?
Timothy (DM)
You... I mean, you can see the room and the people in the room. You just don't know where it...
Russell (Upri)
Cool, a Lightning Bolt shoots out of the handaxe and hits the wall of tentacles... and that's it. That's *bzzzp* [Tim: "All right."] Oh, shit! That's never done that before!"
Chris (Sal S)
Oh, you're a fellow lightning user?
Timothy (DM)
So you blast a tentacles--
Russell (Upri)
No, not normally.
Timothy (DM)
You blast an already limp tentacle [laughs] and that's it.
Russell (Upri)
And I'm do finger guns at Wren. *nervous shout*
Dan (Wren)
Wren looks confused. "I..." Does it back.
Timothy (DM)
Salvador, do a Constitution saving throw.
Chris (Sal S)
Isn't it Wren's turn? Oh, they're doin' the... they're doing the thingy.
Russell (Upri)
[showing Kendrick the table of magic effects] I was really hoping it would be that one.
Kendrick (Yonce)
That's so gay... but ina good way... because I'm gay.
Chris (Sal S)
That's a 14.
Timothy (DM)
A 14 will save as you see the eyeball at your feet.
Chris (Sal S)
I see you.
Timothy (DM)
Wren, what are you doing?
Dan (Wren)
I'm gonna throw my short sword at it.
Chris (Sal S)
That's a ranged attack.
Timothy (DM)
Ok, does it have the Thrown?
Dan (Wren)
I guess it doesn't.
Timothy (DM)
You can still throw it; it's just gonna be without proficiency.
Dan (Wren)
Then I'm gonna grab, like, a knife from my healer's pack, like, a, like, a... what are those things called?
Russell (Upri)
A syringe?
Chris (Sal S)
A scalpel?
Dan (Wren)
A scalpel. Yeah. Like a... like a small knife. I imagine I don't have like modern scalpels, I just have, like, a really pointy knife.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, you pull a scalpel out...
Dan (Wren)
And I'm just gonna huck it down at the floor at the thing.
Timothy (DM)
All right. Make an attack. Roll... I'll let this slide.
Russell (Upri)
Hey, that one's following me.
Dan (Wren)
Oh, no. I rolled an 11.
Timothy (DM)
You rolled an 11; that does not hit. Oh, there is still the one following you; it does not seem to be doing anything now.
Russell (Upri)
Oh, yeah, I'm ignoring.
Timothy (DM)
It's just watching you, rolling around.
Chris (Sal S)
It's a Watcher.
Kendrick (Yonce)
It's a pet.
Russell (Upri)
[*gasps*] Do we adopt it?
Dan (Wren)
No, we're gonna collectively stomp that thing in a hot minute.
Chris (Sal S)
This thing seems pasta.
Russell (Upri)
Okkkk...
Dan (Wren)
And then... I guess that was my action, and then as my bonus action, I will... I'm going to Analyze the one that's following Upri.
Timothy (DM)
All right, you analyze it.
Dan (Wren)
I'm gonna go over there and stab the hell out of it.
Timothy (DM)
It's rolling gyro-stock... gyroscopically stable. What an awful word. [laughs] [Chris: "Yeah."]
Dan (Wren)
That's it.
Timothy (DM)
All right. That brings us to Salvador.
Chris (Sal S)
Okay, so I'm gonna point... I'm gonna look at the one that's still visible, right? I mean, it has to do a Dexterity saving throw.
Timothy (DM)
I got a 7.
Chris (Sal S)
Okay, so you needed to get 14 so it fails. So I'm just gonna burn this retina to crisp as it takes to 2d8 damage. It takes 11 points of radiant damage, right to the eye.
Timothy (DM)
Alright, you blast it with that radiant damage. You see a little singe as some of this... it smokes a little bit and it blinks and continues to stare.
Russell (Upri)
But now it has the sun spot in its vision.
Chris (Sal S)
It's a little milky in one spot, yeah. [Russell laughs]
Timothy (DM)
Yonce, you're up.
Kendrick (Yonce)
All right. The only one that's left is the one that is behind Upri, all right. I'm just gonna take...
Timothy (DM)
And the one at Salvador's feet.
Chris (Sal S)
Yeah, the sun spot one.
Kendrick (Yonce)
So, I'm gonna take my two daggers... I'm gonna pull out two daggers, and I'm gonna chuck one at the Salvador eye and one at Upri's eye. [Dan laughs]
Timothy (DM)
All right, make two attacks.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Oops, that's the wrong... does a 20 hit? [Tim: "Yes."] And that was a dirty 20. [Tim: "All right."] And the 7 does not hit. [Tim: "No."] The 7 was the Upri one. [Tim: "Okay."] Oops. And that's going to be for 7 damage. [Tim: "Alright."] And then with my bonus action, I'm just going to... I'm gonna hit Upri's eye, like...
Russell (Upri)
What?
Kendrick (Yonce)
I... that's... "Duck!"
Russell (Upri)
I duck and I'm at your height now. [Editor's Note: underappreciated joke of the recording]
Kendrick (Yonce)
And that's a nat 20, so that's a 26. So that is for 7 damage. [Tim: "Alright.] It's pretty good.
Timothy (DM)
You stomp on it. It squishes but is still there, just slightly deflated. Upri, your turn.
Russell (Upri)
Oh shit, again? So we found that eye I was trying to find?
Timothy (DM)
Yeah, it is now staring at Salvador, sitting at his feet.
Russell (Upri)
Cool! I come straight on the handaxe again 'cause I hate myself [Kendrick laughs] Oh, I don't know what that spell does.
Dan (Wren)
What is it?
Chris (Sal S)
Which one?
Russell (Upri)
Stinking Cloud?
Dan (Wren)
Oh god.
Chris (Sal S)
Oh, you just make a... it's like a yellow cloud. Constitution saving throw. [Tim echoes]
Russell (Upri)
Okay, well...
Dan (Wren)
Here, I'll look it up.
Timothy (DM)
Around you, yeah. Centered on self, right? Is it centered on self?
Russell (Upri)
Uh, I can target anything within 120 feet.
Timothy (DM)
Oh, okay, so you can center it... the thing at Salvador's feet.
Russell (Upri)
'How safe is it?' is the question.
Chris (Sal S)
It's a 20 foot radius, so it's basically just this room.
Timothy (DM)
It basically... it fills the room, basically. Everybody's gonna have to make a Constitution saving throw.
Russell (Upri)
Perfect. It also heavily obscures all of our visions. [all laugh]
Chris (Sal S)
So, we all have disadvantage. I fail.
Kendrick (Yonce)
What's the Dex we have to do? I mean, what's the saving throw?
Timothy (DM)
Constitution.
Dan (Wren)
17.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I got a 6.
Timothy (DM)
And it's all against Upri's spell save.
Russell (Upri)
23.
Dan (Wren)
23 is your spell safe?
Timothy (DM)
No. What's your spell save?
Russell (Upri)
Oh 15.
Timothy (DM)
So, anybody who beat a 15 is fine.
Dan (Wren)
Oh, the rest of you are 'retching and reeling'. [Chris: "Yeah."] and that's what your action is. The next turn is you vomit.
Russell (Upri)
You starting vomitting because it smells like a fart! I'm so sorry!
Chris (Sal S)
[weakly] Upri, what'd you eat!?!
Russell (Upri)
Nothin'! I just had ale. Maybe that's why... okay. All right. Put that weapon away. I get a bonus attack. Now that I can't see. Now that I CAN'T see it, I'm just gonna... I'm gonna take my handaxe that stank and then I'm going to throw it into the cloud and try to hit.
Timothy (DM)
Okay. Give me an attack with disadvantage.
Russell (Upri)
Just kidding. Can I attack...? No, I can't attack... Just a nat 1. [Tim: "No. Uh-uh."] All right. Perfect.
Timothy (DM)
[laughs] All right. Wren, what are you doing?
Dan (Wren)
Can I see the one that was following Upri, the one that I analyzed? I'm gonna walk over to where it was, holding my breath. Do I see it, like, then as I, like, get up really close to it?
Timothy (DM)
Yeah. Are you trying to make an attack roll? Yeah, yeah, you'll just do so with disadvantage.
Dan (Wren)
Ok, great.
Russell (Upri)
[laughs] You're welcome.
Dan (Wren)
Does a 14 hit?
Timothy (DM)
A 14 does. Does hit.
Dan (Wren)
Yeah! Let's do it. I don't get my third Sneak Attack dice because somebody gave me disadvantage, but that is still 15 piercing damage.
Timothy (DM)
Right, you skewer it?
Russell (Upri)
Oh, g-good job, Wren.
Dan (Wren)
You can't see this.
Chris (Sal S)
He can hear it squish.
Dan (Wren)
"I got one!"
Timothy (DM)
And Salvador.
Chris (Sal S)
I puke. [all laugh] Hopefully onto the eye. Lentils and rice are...
Dan (Wren)
Oh right!
Russell (Upri)
Oh no!
Timothy (DM)
So you vomit, and as you vomit, you, like, bend over to where it was, and it's no longer there.
Chris (Sal S)
Oh, darn. Well, I just ruined this person's carpet. Sorry, people that live here.
Dan (Wren)
They're... everything is ruined in this house. [laughs]
Chris (Sal S)
It stinks, it's got tentacle goop on it. Yeah...
Timothy (DM)
Yonce. What are you doin'?
Kendrick (Yonce)
I also puke.
Timothy (DM)
All right, you vom. Upri, what do you do?
Kendrick (Yonce)
Wait, can I do my bonus action?
Russell (Upri)
You lose your whole turn vomiting. [Tim echoes]
Kendrick (Yonce)
Well, thanks.
Russell (Upri)
Okay, you make the Con save at the start of your turn.
Timothy (DM)
The odor is putrid. [Chris: "Well, I move."] Oh, well, that's fine. We all... we all did it.
Russell (Upri)
But 'til next turn.
Timothy (DM)
Yeah. Oh, so we have to continuously do the Con save every turn?
Russell (Upri)
Every... at the beginning of every turn.
Timothy (DM)
All right. Do a Con save.
Russell (Upri)
Perfect. 18, I'm good. [Tim: "You're fine."]
Timothy (DM)
Oh yeah, this eyeball is not where it was.
Russell (Upri)
Perfect, and I can't see. I'm gonna use my action to open my magical awareness and try to sense it magically within 60 feet of me. [Tim: "All right."] Can I feel it?
Timothy (DM)
You can...
Russell (Upri)
Cool, I'm gonna run over--
Timothy (DM)
You also feel [Russell: "Oh no..."] this INTENSE energy in the center of the room. It's not there anymore, but you can still feel and you're familiar with this-this sensation: a rift to the Void.
Russell (Upri)
But it... like, just a lingering energy.
Timothy (DM)
Just a lingering energy and it is IN-TENSE.
Russell (Upri)
Does it overwhelm me?
Timothy (DM)
It is more powerful than the rift that... not overwhelming, but you can tell that this rift was INTENSELY powerful. [Russell: "Oh shit."] More powerful than the passage you took there yourself.
"Well, shit! That's not good." You hear in the cloud of stink and then I run over and I hit the other one with my handaxe.
You need to make a Perception check to find it.
Russell (Upri)
But I sensed it magically. [bats eyelashes]
Timothy (DM)
Oh, shoot. Yes, you do.
Russell (Upri)
It's still at disadvantage.
Timothy (DM)
You'll make an attack with disadvantage, though.
Russell (Upri)
15?
Timothy (DM)
A 15 will hit.
Russell (Upri)
3 slashing damage.
Timothy (DM)
Alright, see you nick it, but now you have eyes on it.
Russell (Upri)
It's-it's over here!
Kendrick (Yonce)
Where?
Timothy (DM)
And I need you to make a Constitution saving throw.
Russell (Upri)
Against the eye?
Timothy (DM)
As it looks at you.
Dan (Wren)
Against the eye as it looks at you.
Russell (Upri)
Natural 20, so 27.
Timothy (DM)
You pass.
Russell (Upri)
*finger guns* I finger-guns it
Timothy (DM)
Wren, make a Constitution saving throw.
Dan (Wren)
Oh, right, to not vomit. Oh, that's a 13 plus... that doesn't pass.
Timothy (DM)
That fails and you lose your turn again vomiting, you're retching--
Chris (Sal S)
You just lose your action, so you can still move.
Russell (Upri)
Oh, okay.
Timothy (DM)
Oh, you can still move? Okay. [Chris: "Yeah."]
Dan (Wren)
Then I'm gonna leave this cloud; I'mma go outside. I go out into the street.
Timothy (DM)
You go outside. You run out into the street [Dan: "Vomiting.", laughs] vomiting your eyes tearing, your nose burning.
Dan (Wren)
And then... oh well, I'm gonna use, like... I guess my bonus action to, like, open the windows of the house? Are there, like, front windows that I could open? Like, just pull open from the outside?
Timothy (DM)
They're hard to do from the outside but you could break them.
Dan (Wren)
I mean, this place is fucked already so yeah, I'll use my... I'll use, like, the hilt of my sword to, like, start breaking windows to get some airflow in there.
Timothy (DM)
So, you hear the shattering of glass, everyone.
Dan (Wren)
Me! [all laugh]
Timothy (DM)
And it is Salvador's turn
Chris (Sal S)
Okay, we'll see... I have to do a saving throw. [Tim: "Yeah."] I fail; so I'm gonna run outside and I'm gonna prepare the next action to do Gust of Wind to blow this stuff away.
Timothy (DM)
So, you stumble out of the room, retching, your eyes burning, your nose burning
Chris (Sal S)
Mustard gas.
Timothy (DM)
You see Wren is just bashing in windows, and you prepare an action, and we're back up to Yonce. [Kendrick: "All right, I'm gonna roll--"] Make that Constitution saving throw.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I failed! [all laugh]
Timothy (DM)
You are retching.
Kendrick (Yonce)
And I run outside too.
Russell (Upri)
Upri's the real enemy [laughs]
Timothy (DM)
So, you join the other two outside. The windows are being bashed in.
Chris (Sal S)
Upri, come out here.
Russell (Upri)
I don't know what you're talking about; I'm fine!
Timothy (DM)
You are... like, everything you ate. That amazing kofta? All over the street.
Kendrick (Yonce)
*ugh* Gosh, I hate tonight.
Timothy (DM)
Upri. [laughs]
Russell (Upri)
Ugh, I fail and start vomiting [Dan laughs]
Kendrick (Yonce)
Oh god.
Russell (Upri)
And now I move out to the street.
Chris (Sal S)
Close the door!
Russell (Upri)
I'm so sorry. It's never done that before.
Timothy (DM)
The four of you are now on the streets as you are...
Dan (Wren)
Just vomiting everywhere.
Timothy (DM)
...vomiting. You're all, like, keeled over, and as you stand back upright, you see the eye floating in the doorway, and I would like Yonce to make a Constitution saving throw.
Kendrick (Yonce)
You don't have to... I close my... can...? Yonce closes their eyes.
Timothy (DM)
That doesn't affect the attack.
Kendrick (Yonce)
[rolls d12] Wait, what am I doing?
Timothy (DM)
Constitution?
Kendrick (Yonce)
Well, I'll just use this I got a fuckin' 6.
Timothy (DM)
A 6. So 6is gonna fail.
Kendrick (Yonce)
[mocking Tim] "WeLl It'S gOnNa Fail." [all laugh] That's what you sound like.
Timothy (DM)
So you're gonna take 10 necrotic damage.
Kendrick (Yonce)
All right, and I'm... with my bonus action, I'm gonna use... [Dan: "Hellish Rebuke?"] I'm gonna use Hellish Rebuke. [team woops]
Timothy (DM)
As a reaction. Yeah.
Dan (Wren)
Light it on fire.
Russell (Upri)
Wait, is the stinkiness flamable?
Dan (Wren)
[laughs] OHMYGOD!
Timothy (DM)
So, as you stand up... as you stand up and feel this necrotic energy sapped from your body, you, like, raise a finger at it, and it... it has to make a Dex safe, right?
Kendrick (Yonce)
Yyyyes.
Timothy (DM)
It is going to fail hardcore. Gets a 7.
Kendrick (Yonce)
All right. So, that's going to be 24 damage.
Timothy (DM)
Which is EXACTLY how much health I had left. It INCINERATES. [Chris: "Woo!"] You see this floating eye just burst into flames. It chars right before you. It starts tweaking out as it starts just, like, blipping in space... like, it keeps, like, blinking out. Blinking in. Blinking out. Blinking in, and then it drops to the floor with a smolder of smoke.
Kendrick (Yonce)
Yonce is gonna look at the party and be like, "I guess we won't be seeing that later. Get it? 'Cause of the eye?"
Chris (Sal S)
Ohhhhhh! Love it.
Dan (Wren)
"Yeah... *ugh*" Wren vomits again. [all laugh]
Chris (Sal S)
Unrelated.
Timothy (DM)
As you stand beside the carnage of this house, you hear commotion coming from all directions, footsteps running towards you.
Kendrick (Yonce)
I guess False Life.
Dan (Wren)
Oh shit.
Timothy (DM)
And that is where we're gonna end this episode.
Chris (Sal S)
Yeah!
Timothy (DM)
Thank you all for joining us for a plunge into the abyss. I hope you all enjoyed this episode of Shadows of Prophecy. Join us next time to find out becomes our unfortunate players in this most dreadful act.
Shout out to my brother, known as the chill electronic vapor soul artist LUSQ, for writing our chillingly epic theme son; editing by Scrubcast; and a big shout out to Syrinscape for some amazing atmosphere and music. Make sure you check them out at syrinscape.com. I always use them at my game table, and it adds that little something special to bring your players into the story. Also, please follow us on Twitter @ShadowsProphecy and Instagram @shadows_of_underscore prophecy. And hey! Show us some support by becoming one of our fabulous patrons at patreon.com/shadowsofprophecy, where you can get access to bonus content like handouts, encounter maps, and even adventure guides to run your own horrific campaigns or one-shots. And at the very least, give us a five star review on your podcast platform of choice. This is how we get the word out about our podcast, and we love sharing it with you all. Thank you, and tune in next time for more tales of dread and despair at Shadows of Prophecy
Transcribed by https://otter.ai