EP0006 – Ask Me Anything

I think we all know that no one’s going to be able to focus on anything else until I answer your questions.

Written and produced by Kale Brown. Artwork by Kale Brown. 

All music and sound effects used are available under a CC0 license. Music was ‘Sphere’ by Andrew Kn. [LOUD EERIE NOISE] was ‘Sci-fi Ambient Drone’ by Niedec. 

Visit us on Twitter at @sinkholepodcast or visit the website at sinkholepodcast.com. 

Transcript

INTRO: [Someone inhales deeply; their inhale has a distant, echoing quality to it. A strange, rattling sound grows in volume and speed before fading into eerie, warbling music. There’s a strange crackling sound. The voice whispers “Sinkhole.” The pitch and speed of the music drop, fading into the next track.]

[A low, slow hum fills the background. The melody is subtle and largely ambient.]

I got the tapes you sent me and… [disbelieving laugh] holy shit, there are… so many more tapes than I was expecting.

I’ll talk about that a little bit afterwards.

First, if you weren’t already aware, the mods gave me permission to run an AMA about being one of the hundred-twelve specifically because no one is going to be able to focus on anything else until I do. 

So that’s what this is going to be. I said ask me anything, and you had a lot to ask.

I’m not going to be able to get through it all, but I’ll do my best. 

Before I get into anything else, I’d like to address the fact that some of you seem to think I’m lying about having been in the Hole. [bewildered laugh] Literally why? Why is that a thing I would want to lie about?  

Being one of the hundred-odd people who came out of the Hole not make you popular around here. 

Thousands of people got caught in the sinklight during the Fling, and a lot of people blame for us that. Mostly unconsciously. 

The few of us you’ve heard of- Jean-Luc and Taylor and Yun-seo- they’re very much the odd ones out. Most of us don’t advertise having been in the Hole- it’s more just something people tend to figure out about you after a while because there’s only so much you can do to disguise being decades behind the world. 

It’s kind of impossible to hide because it’s impossible to catch up- the more time I spend trying to familiarize myself with things that have already happened, the more I find myself missing the things that are happening now. 

It’s not… a good thing. It’s not fun. It might seem cool to you, but I think it’s easy to feel that way at a distance.

Enough people got caught in the sinklight for somebody to think it would be worth their while to create a specialized surgery for people with superficial sinkage to become NEV-capable. Think about that. 

Asterikoiloptosis is an affliction, and there are a fair number of people who think it would have been better for everyone if nobody had come out of the Hole. It doesn’t really matter that we didn’t get a choice in that- it’s still how people feel.

So… yeah.

If you think it’s a cool, fun thing to pretend to be one of the hundred-twelve… you’re not from the city, you’re not from the Sink, and you’re definitely not from the Hole. 

Let’s get to these questions of yours. 

A lot of these are things you could ask literally anybody with superficial sinkage and get the exact same answer, so I’m going to try and keep mine brief: can I touch my own head? Yes. Can someone else touch my head? Only if I can see what they’re doing and am actually paying attention.  

What does it feel like when I touch my sinkage area? Normal. I can touch my face and scalp without a problem. It feels exactly like it always has. 

What do I see when I look at myself? The same thing everyone else does. 

Uh, actually, this seems like something you people might find interesting: I don’t see my nose like I used to- now it’s just sort of this void-black chasm at the centre of my vision. 

What would happen if you tried to drop something on my head? It’d fall into my sinkage. 

What happens to things that fall into my sinkage? They drift into a glittering void. 

What happens to things that start to fall into my sinkage but are removed? They’re fucking irradiated. 

Can the radiation from my sinkage make me sick? No, it’s not radioactive.

Can the radiation from things irradiated by my sinkage make me sick? Yeah, they’re radioactive.  

Does my sinkage give off radiation? No, it’s not radioactive.

How is that possible when the space inside my sinkage is radioactive? 

There are so many papers and videos on this, it’s unreal. Please go look one of them up. 

How much of my head is sunk? About seventy percent. 

Do I have other sinkage? Yeah.

Am I going to tell you about it? No. Absolutely not. 

You could… literally identify me with that information. 

Can I wear hats or glasses or tie my hair back? Yes, yes, and sort of. Glasses are no problem because they’re constantly in my vision and most hats are bulky enough that I’m usually at least subconsciously aware of them, but hair ties have always been a little bit dicey for me.

If I can’t see it, it has to be physically very present so I stay aware of it. Usually, that means it has to be at least a little uncomfortable. If it’s not, the tie will sink and I’ll suddenly realize my hair is drifting back into my face. And yeah, like I said, it looks the same to me as it does to everyone else.

Having drifting strands of void in your face is extremely distracting. I think that’s actually a big part of why so many of us keep our hair short.

I’m going to pre-empt this one: can I cut my hair? Yeah, I can. 

When I cut my hair, what do the parts that come off look like? Colourless. Completely clear, like I’ve gone white. 

Can other people touch the hair I’ve cut off? Yeah. Same goes for anything else that comes off my sinkage, I assume. 

[mouse scrolling sounds]

Uhh… oh, this is a weird one.

Can I wear makeup?

 I think it would have to be, like… grease paint. Really heavy, sticky stuff. Again: I’d have to feel it, or the second I stopped looking in the mirror, it’d sink. 

[mouse scroll sounds]

[muttered] I think that’s all the generics…

[quietly] Okay. 

[continued mouse scrolling sounds]

[pauses]

[sighs deeply]

This one… I’m going to assume that anyone who asked this is convinced the Fling was a hoax, but I’ll still answer it. 

Why didn’t falling in the Sinkhole make my whole body go sunk? No idea. As far as I’m aware, nobody on Earth knows the answer to that. According the experts, the current consensus is that nobody’s sinkage worsened in the Hole or during the Fling. 

Can I get secondary exposure from sinklight? No. That’s actually one of the few things that differentiates deep asterikoiloptosis from superficial. I could strip naked and sunbathe in it and nothing would happen, as far as I know. 

…Sinkbathe? Anyway.

[EERIE NOISE]

Am I allowed to go back to the Hole since I came out of it?

[incredulous] No! 

Nobody’s allowed near the Hole! Why would I have clearance for that?   

You can’t just go to the Hole- what do you think I’m going to do, just walk up and be like, [somber voice] “Hello, I’m one of the one-twelve. Let me in,” and they’ll just be like, “Yeah, sure. Why not? Welcome home.” [incredulous scoff]

What the fuck?

[mouse scrolling sounds]

Uh… er… oh, this question is… hard. Um. 

How old am I?

Do you mean legally, chronologically, or physically? 

Chronologically, I’m in my sixties.

Physically- and a little math will get you there- I’m in my thirties. 

Legally, I was born sixty-odd years ago but am in my thirties, which makes it completely impossible for me to sign up for any service that does not have a very specific temporal exemption clause programmed into its database. 

I make so many more voice calls now than I ever did before I fell into the Hole. 

If you want to feel a little fucked up, the fact that I came out of the Hole at a different time of year than I went in means my birthday changed.

I mean… not legally, and the day I was born obviously didn’t change, but because I didn’t spend exactly thirty years inside the Hole, the actual day I chronologically roll over from one age to the next is different than it was before. 

I don’t know if I explained that in a way that made sense- it’s a really weird concept. I think about it more than I probably should, considering it doesn’t really matter.  

[mouse scrolling sounds]

Uh, the rest of these are pretty much all requests for pictures or personal information or questions about my personal experiences during the initial Sinkhole event and the Fling.

I’m not really allowed to talk about my experiences with the Hole. It’s not illegal or anything, I’m not gonna go to jail, but it is a breach of contract.

Um, some of you might not know this, but those of us with deep cranial asterikoiloptosis have a lot of trouble finding employment. We’re an uninsurable risk factor at in-person workspaces, and because we can’t get nevved, the only way for us to work remotely is digitally. 

And you’ve heard what I had to say about the death of the digital age, I assume. 

A bunch of us, myself included, are under contract with Paradigm Research, the folks who study the Hole. They pay our living expenses and, in exchange, we stay nearby and participate in ongoing studies. 

Part of that is… well, contractually, we’re not supposed to talk about our experiences or seek out information about each other’s experiences so as to not, uh… muddy the waters, I guess. 

Yeah. Sorry. I can’t answer your questions. Paradigm pays my rent.

So, instead, let’s talk about the tapes you sent me!

I’m still waiting on tape data from a few of you- I’ve reached out directly, so remember to check your messages. 

Obviously, I haven’t had time to go through many of them- I only got my setup completely figured out yesterday. 

But I did have a chance to go through two!

I want to pull preliminary data reads from everything as fast as I can because I realized this morning that I don’t actually know to what extent the Sinkhole effect is cumulative, and having progressive data reads could tell me a lot about that. 

I will say the preliminary reads I pulled from those two tapes are still mostly undistorted. There’s a little weirdness here and there, but nothing too exciting just yet. 

I’ll let you know as soon as I have something worth sharing. 

Stay safe and try not to fall into any holes. 

[The ambient music fades into the next track.]

[An eerie, warbling music akin to the opening music plays, rising in volume and then slowing and quieting.]