Sober Holidays: Tips for Staying Clean and Serene

In this special holiday episode of the Soberoso Podcast, host Dora is joined by guests Fred, Alex, and Shayne to share heartfelt experiences, actionable advice, and effective strategies for staying sober through the challenges of Christmas and the festive season.

The holidays often bring added pressures—from navigating social gatherings and family dynamics to resisting the ever-present temptation of alcohol. For those in early recovery or long-term sobriety, this time of year can be a test of strength and resolve.

Together, we’ll explore how to maintain your sobriety with confidence and peace of mind. Learn practical tips on setting boundaries, creating an exit strategy, and building a supportive routine to keep you connected to your recovery community. Whether it’s your first sober holiday or your tenth, this episode offers shared experiences and tools to help you embrace the season while staying true to yourself.

Episode Sponsored by Fred Meyer Roofing – providing trusted roofing solutions with care and reliability.

Remember, the most meaningful gift you can give yourself and your loved ones is your sobriety. Tune in for an inspiring and supportive conversation that will help you stay clean, serene, and empowered this holiday season.

Soberoso Podcast Season 4 episode 9

#SoberHolidays #HolidaySobriety #sobertips #RecoveryJourney #StayCleanAndSerene #SoberosoPodcast

Transcript

Host Dora: [00:00:00] This is the Christmas edition and we're so happy that you're here joining us today and my goofy husband with a great radio voice. Hello, beautiful peeps and welcome to the Soberoso podcast where we celebrate life in recovery. I'm your host, I walked away from 30 years of drinking and drugging. After years of chaos and self destruction, by the grace of God, I found my way into a life of recovery.

Host Dora: This podcast is for anyone seeking not just sobriety, but also the healing and growth that follows. Whether you're just starting your journey, feeling stuck, or looking for a supportive community, you've found your peace. Each week we share real stories and tips to help you live a fulfilling life through the healing journey.

Host Dora: Join us now in sharing our passion for recovery. [00:01:00] Fred, why don't you tell, uh, tell us what's something you would recommend to somebody, maybe that's an early recovery and is going off to their first Christmas event where there's a lot of drinking and alcohol and maybe even some, um, dysfunctional family around.

Fred: That's a deep question. , be lighthearted. Be present. The hard part about early recovery is your mind is still messed up. They tell you to think it through, but then when you're reading through the book, It tells you how screwed up your mind is and you can't really think it through 

Fred: So 

Fred: there's not a lot of help in thinking it through until you've had a spiritual awakening And then your brain is washed and it's clean and you start to think clear So if you're really new in recovery, I mean, it's just Be present [00:02:00] and don't overthink.

Fred: Just try to have fun. Relax, take it easy. That would be my advice it would also be if you're alone in this, if you're going somewhere where you're the only sober person, that might not be the best place to be.

Fred: Your first holiday season. I know it might be all your friends and all your family, but if there's going to be no one sort of partnering with you on this, then it might not be the best idea to spend that time there, maybe find somewhere else to go this holiday, 

Fred: that sort of 

Fred: be my advice. 

Host Dora: Well, thank you, Fred.

Host Dora: That is great advice. And if you are new in recovery, this can be a real tricky time as there is an abundance of [00:03:00] alcohol overflowing at Christmas parties, at family get togethers. And one thing I'd like to recommend to anybody that's in this situation, this time of year. over these holidays that was recommended to me in the early days was that always have your own way there and your own way back.

Host Dora: You know, when I was drinking and drugging, I often went with groups, I would just depend on getting a ride from somebody. So I think it's very important in your early stages of recovery. When there's going to be a lot of free flowing booze and a party atmosphere around you is get your own means of transportation there and back.

Host Dora: And if you're pulling into a full parking lot, back it in and be able to. Exit at your will so you're not having to have people move their vehicles or depend On anybody else that is drinking to be your ride home. Another tip that you can consider is [00:04:00] Bringing your own drinks, don't just assume that they are going to have Non alcoholic drinks on hand because that's the worst when everybody's toasting or there's drinking wine and there's nothing and you might find yourself in a situation like, Oh, well, I'll just have a glass of wine.

Host Dora: So get yourself something you like to drink a little sparkling apple juice or what have you something that's your own come prepared for yourself to stay clean and sober because your sobriety is the biggest gift. this year. So Merry Christmas another 

Fred: thing, Miss Beautiful Dora, that is I like having something already prepared, which I have.

Fred: And I say it all the time when someone ask's me, Would you like something to drink? Would you like a drink? I have a thing that I say, and for me, I like it. A lot of you have probably already heard it, but they go, Oh, would you like a drink? And I try to make it lighthearted, not this big. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm an alcoholic.

Fred: I can't [00:05:00] drink. I say, Oh, I'm sorry. I can't have a drink. I'm allergic to alcohol. And inevitably they go, Oh really? And then I say, yeah, I, I break out in handcuffs. So I try to bring humor into that situation. Then they laugh. And I think they get the idea. Oh, he's, you know, probably shouldn't have a drink and they walk away.

Fred: So being prepared with something to say when they ask you to have a drink, because inevitably if you're somewhere there's drinking there, you're going to be asked to have a drink. So be prepared with what you're going to say in that moment. 

Host Dora: I love that. That's a great tip have a couple of answers loaded locked in and ready to go because you will be offered Some christmas cheer this year today.

Host Dora: We're talking with some sober people some sober friends I'm going to talk with alex and Shayne and we are going to tell you what works for us in Maybe an early recovery or being a clean [00:06:00] and sober person and how to deal with the holidays. I know, , the holidays can be super stressful for many people out there.

Host Dora: Not only is there a lot of drinking and drugging that happens around holidays, but people's families can be quite stressing. If you're a clean and sober person, you might be in a very, um, toxic family environment where There's a lot of memories or a lot of past experiences or even current experiences that make you Uncomfortable and challenge you during the holiday season.

Host Dora: So today i'm gonna ask alex. What you do differently To maintain your sobriety through christmas through new year's through any big holiday event where there is drinking and drugging going on 

Alex: Through any big holidays. So I guess what I would like to say is, you just mentioned the word different but how important it is to keep in your routine whatever routine that you've already, um, Built for yourself and your [00:07:00] schedule, try not to deviate it from it too much I find you know, we're of habit.

Alex: So definitely stick to your routine, and I am a certified health and lifestyle coach and that's what I tell my clients all the time, you know, um, with recovering addicts and alcoholics, how important that routine is, right? And that mental exercise, physical exercises, spiritual exercise on the daily, because once you deviate from any one of those, um, you know, it's like a three legged stool, right?

Alex: You take away one leg from the stool and it collapses. So, um, try to stick to your routine as much as you can, because I definitely know, obviously the hustle and bustle of your holidays. I think it's important to stay in gratitude. And to stay in service, and how much, and then how that can look differently, uh, during the holiday season, you know, um, but being giving of yourself, the real gift here is giving, giving is the reason for living.

Alex: So try to help a neighbor go to a food bank, do some service [00:08:00] work there, do some service work. I am in a 12 step, uh, in a few 12 step fellowships. There are Alka thons there's events out there, um, safe spaces. So try to find those if you need them. Um, and I definitely do a lot of service work during the holidays and I'm actually going to be, hosting a couple of the zoom, Toronto intergroup 

Alex: zoom meetings during the Alcathon, um, on New Year's Eve. So try to find events like that. I'll always also say, if you're going into one of those, um, I, I don't, you know, I, I never had a reason to be in a bar before, so since I've been, I haven't even stepped foot in a bar in seven and a half years.

Alex: couple of pubs to eat, but it's not my place. I never belonged there in the first place, those are just not the places I frequent anymore. Um, what I tell some of my girls in earlier sobriety, if you're even questioning it and talking to me about it, that's because you're not comfortable going into that environment, you know?

Alex: So whether it be a party or Christmas party, a work Christmas party, a family Christmas [00:09:00] party. Or, you know, any events, I think tomorrow is American Thanksgiving. This is a huge holiday out in the United States tomorrow. If you're already having reservations about it before even going in it really questioned, do you really need to be there?

Alex: If you 

Alex: do have to be there, I usually work with, , women on developing their. Exit strategy, making sure they have their toolbox and their toolkit with them, that they're able to reach out to me at any point in time, in the evening or the day or during the event, you know, that we are able to connect, but really have an exit strategy in place.

Alex: I heard somebody, one of my friends saying, a while back, he does a really good, um, you know, during the holidays, these are things you should do as a sober person. And one of his things was leave the party by midnight because after midnight, nothing good's happening. 

Alex: Right. You know, while you're sitting there. And I always say, if you don't feel comfortable, no, as a complete sentence and you can definitely get up and leave at [00:10:00] whatever point in time you feel the need to, right. For me, non negotiables today. Absolute non negotiables today, nothing and nobody can compromise or has the power or privilege of compromising your sobriety, your peace of mind, your freedom and your serenity.

Alex: So the moment that you feel out of place or uncomfortable somewhere, it is your right to get up and leave and I know that's a bit harder with family, but setting those boundaries and the importance of having those boundaries. 

Host Dora: Um, Perfect. Thank you, Alex. That's, some great answers there.

Host Dora: And I really do, appreciate and like that you said, no is a complete sentence and asking yourself, do I really have to be there? If it's a Christmas work party and everybody's going to get shit faced and that's not your storey anymore. Do you really have to be there?

Host Dora: Or can you just be there? Go for dinner and eat and run like question yourself. So I I appreciate those answers [00:11:00] alex All right, and now we're going to go over and we're going to ask Shayne can you tell us in your? Experience living as a clean and sober man today. I know some of your background.

Host Dora: You grew up in some very unhealthy family environment. So today, as a sober man, if you get together with your family through Christmas or on the holidays for a dinner, and there's drinking and partying and people are, still in their active addiction, how do you show up as a sober man for an event around the holidays?

Shayne: Well, I think it ultimately comes down to, to how much healing I've I done, how much work have I done? It states in, in, in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, an alcoholic that can't meet those conditions of being in a par B, being around people that are drunk still has an alcoholic mind. Um, that's not saying anything bad about the person.

Shayne: It's just, [00:12:00] if I wasn't healed, if I wasn't doing the work, if I wasn't applying these steps in God to my life, Um, 80, 90 percent chance I probably would pick up in those situations. But I do have to be in those, some of those situations. So more of our literature, it states, if I am to go into one of those places where they're selling liquor, where family members are drinking, make sure the reason I'm going there for is good, that I'm not trying to steal a little bit of pleasure that I'm not going there selfishly to.

Shayne: to dance with women to, to feel that old feeling of, what I once thought joy was. And not, not seeing what I can get out of the situation, but what I can put into it. I was just in Winnipeg at a, my uncle's celebration of life. And I went to the Legion with my family. And a lot of them are just, normal drinkers.

Shayne: They are moderate drinkers and they were scared. They're like, Oh my God, what are you doing here, Shayne? Um, because they [00:13:00] don't understand the disease of addiction and recovery. Right? So now I go to those types of situations or those types of scenarios. With a different outlook, I'm there to bring something to the table, to just bring this light, right?

Shayne: So the reasons why I go there today are different from why I used to go to those environments before. Like two weeks ago when I was there, I was like, In the legion and my family members were drinking. Um, I'm grateful that I have family members that support and love me and don't act too crazy or don't judge and blame, or don't try to push the liquor and dope on me.

Shayne: Um, cause a lot of our family members are still in that sick place, right? They're emotionally, spiritually sick and it's normal for them or the liquor and the dope don't affect them like they do us real deal alcoholics. So. That's my experience. So I'm going there for different reasons today.

Shayne: But behind that, I've also done the healing where those, I can go anywhere a free [00:14:00] man, um, can go today because of my connection with God and because of the 12 steps. 

Host Dora: Absolutely beautiful. I love that. So in Shayne's experience, guys, he's saying, uh, you know, he's a healed man today. He's not the person he was in active drinking or addiction.

Host Dora: He is already, Quite a few years into his recovery. So yeah, go back to Alex's suggestion there. If you're in early recovery and ask yourself. Do I really need to be there? Good thing. Good thing to consider another thing that's, super simple is that going back to that old acronym of HALT. Are you hungry? Are you angry? Are you lonely?

Host Dora: Are you tired? And if you're any of those things, you don't need to be going to any of those places because you will be jeopardizing your sobriety. And let's face it, guys, over the holidays, your sobriety is the biggest gift of all. for yourself and for your loved ones. 

Alex: I think too, Dora, if I could just add, [00:15:00] I consider myself a newcomer to this every day.

Alex: I'm so blessedly afforded another chance to wake, rise and recover. Which is because I have some 2000 something days. I don't care if you have one day, 10, 000 days, whatever, , 24 is all any of us really have. I just want to stress and emphasize the importance of people that are in a better place in their lives that aren't struggling or suffering.

Alex: Sometimes it's the strong ones that we have to worry about. The holidays are not happy, merry, joyous, and free for most of us. For a lot of us , there's a lot of depression, a lot of mental health issues, a lot of Obviously, financial, uh, hardship and struggle, during this time of year. I think it's very, very important.

Alex: If they're your people at all, reach out also to people, because none of us pretend to be depressed, we all pretend to be okay. So if they're your people at all, this is a loud and clear message to some of us, um, further along on our recovery journeys. It's the strong ones or the ones that you perceive to be strong.

Alex: [00:16:00] If they're your people at all, reach out to them. And make sure they're okay. 

Host Dora: Thank you all for being here today. Thank you for joining us for our Christmas special. And I hope that these tips help you get through the holiday season, clean and serene. And thank you for tuning in to another episode of the SoberOso podcast.

Host Dora: I hope today's conversation brought you a little closer to hope. healing or understanding. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe or follow to the show wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. If this episode brought you comfort and made you feel a little better inside, please share it with someone who might need that today.

Host Dora: You can follow Soberoso on Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram for more inspiration and updates. Don't forget, we're here every week with new stories, tips, and topics to help you along the road to [00:17:00] healing. Until the next time, I'm your grateful host, Dora. Stay safe, stay sober, and to thine own self be true.