Schoolutions - S2 E32: Building a Community of Inclusion: Autism Advocacy and Awareness with Sara Bradford (aka S.J. Childs)

 [00:00:00] Olivia: Welcome to Schoolutions, where listening will leave you inspired by solutions to issues you or others you know may be struggling with in the public education system today. I am Olivia Wahl, and I am so excited to welcome my guest today,  Sara Bradford, aka S.J.Childs. Sara is an autistic woman and advocate.

[00:00:25] Olivia: She is a global autism speaker, as well as podcast host of The S.J. Childs Show. Sara's a member of the Autism Council of Utah and a mother of two. Her husband and two children are also on the autism spectrum. It is my honor to welcome you, Sara, as a guest on Schoolutions.

[00:00:46] Sara: Thank you so much for having me, Olivia. It was wonderful to meet you, and I look forward to hopefully bringing value to your listeners and helping, you know, just spread the good word.

[00:00:57] Olivia: You will, without a doubt. And before we jump into our main conversation, I ask every guest who an inspiring educator is from their life. Would you share with listeners?

[00:01:08] Sara: You know, it really took me back because I moved around a lot in my youth, and so having like a really good educator, the only one that came to mind was because he allowed me to be myself, and he was my music teacher. His name was Andrew Sonnemaker. And I love to sing. Recently, I just shared with my husband.

[00:01:32] Sara: I feel perfect when I'm singing. I don't feel judged. I don't doubt myself. It's this freeing, beautiful feeling when I'm singing and I'm just in it, you know, and enjoying myself. And that teacher saw that, and he would let me stay after school, and we would sing, um, The Phantom of the Opera together. It was just fascinating.

[00:01:51] Sara: I, I love to share that experience. And so, yeah, I think he was my favorite educator because he saw the strength that I had when I was in that place of being truly myself.

[00:02:07] Olivia: Well, and we know teachers that see us and hear us and let us be ourselves are the people that we connect often with most, and they're unforgettable. The reason I wanted to have you as a guest is because your repertoire of advocacy and support for families is endless. And in the public school system, there is not enough awareness around autism or support options for families.

[00:02:35] Olivia: And there you are, your multiple platforms that serve as support systems. So just for listeners to understand, you are the CEO of S.J. Childs, LLC, which is an autism consulting business to support families. You are the owner of the Facebook Autism Advocate Support Group and, of course, the host of your own podcast, The S.J. Childs Show.

[00:02:59] Olivia: So thank you for your work to support families.

[00:03:02] Sara: It's been such an amazing journey, and each step has brought about new opportunities to do what I do best, connect with others, bring them resources. Uh, just that connection piece has always been my special skill, if you will. 

[00:03:20] Olivia: And so let's jump into it. What inspired you to start the Facebook Autism Advocate Group, as well as the S.J. Childs, LLC, and specifically, what supports do you offer caregivers?

 [00:03:32] Sara: Yeah, absolutely. Well, the business idea has always been a place for our podcast to live. Of course, I'd love to grow it into so much more and scale it to global proportions someday. And in that, it began in two parts. I wrote seven children's books about special needs, and in that process, was going onto podcasts. 

[00:03:57] Sara: And people you know, were wonderful. And a lot of them said: This is great. You need to start your own podcast and get this going. And so that's how the podcast began and the podcast in the group - it's so interesting that you brought them into the same conversation because they had the same intention, and that was for me to gain a louder voice in the community.

[00:04:20] Sara: The group was born out of a sensitive topic. There was a non-fatal shooting in our community with a 13-year-old autistic boy, and I felt the need to really reach out and educate not only the emergency responders in my community but the parents in my community and the teachers to understand, especially how important the language and communication that we use when looking for services as emergency services or even just provider services. 

[00:05:01] Sara: There's specific language we need to be aware of that can either escalate a situation or bring it together and create togetherness and teamwork. And so I really think that starting there is kind of the beginning piece to help parents navigate the journey of autism.

[00:05:23] Sara: And as you had mentioned in the intro, we have all of our family who has in different timeframes come to find out that they had their own space on the spectrum. And of course, it's extremely different from one to the other. Not to mention male to female or husband to wife, you know, mother to daughter, mother to son.

[00:05:46] Sara: That kind of perspective. And to go back in my own world, my own times of what could have made a difference in my life and made things easier. What were my struggles and challenges that were overlooked? That's given me a great perspective to step in and help my kids and be the best support system for them all while allowing them to be the most independent people they can be. [REEL 1]

[00:06:14] Olivia: Yeah. And so giving voice to what you wish you would have had to have access to feel seen and heard. I know that did inspire the podcast as well. What's the show's structure, um, and how do you select your guests and content?

[00:06:32] Sara: Oh yeah. You know, at the beginning of it, it was kind of a free for all right, you're just grabbing for guests. Um, because it was just the beginning, and I wasn't even sure how to start. I hadn't even listened to podcasts previously, other than being a guest myself. So that was kind of funny. But then, of course, I started, you know, doing a lot of research and finding out some platforms that I could find potential guests.

[00:06:56] Sara: First, I started off celebrating and exploring authors, service providers, autistic individuals, artists, and then I decided I better get a little bit more specific with my listeners and for the audience that I wanna reach. Season six is an all autism podcast series 20 episodes of autistic individuals, CEOs, business owners. They're singers, songwriters, just these incredible, incredible guests.

[00:07:32] Sara: Siblings are the most rewarding episodes to see that strength and that beauty between the relationships of a typical sibling that helps and cares for their neurotypical sibling. So, a lot of fun along this journey and the opportunity for me to reach guests and have these ideas from around the globe, which is so important because autism is different, not only for every individual but in different countries, it's accepted and not accepted in some, and some countries they don't even have awareness yet.

[00:08:12] Sara: So I think that there's a lot to be nurtured in looking at the entire scale and, you know, giving where you can. 

[00:08:23] Olivia: That's interesting. I never even considered that there would be different amounts of awareness based on where you land in the world. Where would you see the US falling and their awareness and advocacy compared to other countries?

[00:08:37] Sara: Probably one of the top three, possibly. The U.K. has amazing awareness and acceptance in programs. And I've partnered with a group called The Global Autism Project. Just through them am learning So much about the needs of these countries, um, who have really old ideas of what autism looks like. 

[00:09:07] Sara: And to just kind of give you an idea of what that might look like (really extreme) is that there are some cultures that believe that it's a curse and that they were cursed from previous generations. And so such definite need for the advance of our neuro-education on our brains and how they function differently, and how we can accept and support these types of children and adults rather them stigmatize them.

[00:09:36] Olivia: So, what are some of the subtopics that you speak to and present around under the autism umbrella?

[00:09:44] Sara: I would say, uh, training, training, utmost important - not only for surface providers but for parents as well. And employers due to the rise in autism prevalency. Numbers are 1 in 36 in the U.S. today. And, in that, we have to look forward to the workforce, to employers, and we have to have systems set up in place for these individuals and their different sensory integration concerns or accommodations that we need to have made for them.

[00:10:20] Sara: And the more awareness that we are learning and educating ourselves and others about, the better we can start to prepare for us that are in the teenage, pre-teen years to what is that gonna look like when I get to this next phase? And something, if you don't mind, if I share really quickly, I love to give this tip that I just recently learned is an ancient philosophy from Plato, in fact.

[00:10:47] Sara: There's uh, I like to call it the three-tiered process. And that is that when you are at whatever journey, whether you have typical or neurotypical children, parenting in general can be so hard and so tricky. And it's so important to have someone in front of you, a mentor that you can lean on, that you can count on, that you can see what's next in my journey, what can I look forward to? But also someone in your own place in your journey. 

[00:11:17] Sara: Someone who understands the depths and complexities of a semi-verbal child with high communication needs.And then someone that's just beginning their journey. Someone that you can be a mentor to. Not only do you learn so much in the journey of mentoring someone else, you gain this comradery that you can build with these families that I've found have just built this amazing community I'm so proud to be a part of.

[00:11:50] Sara: And it's such a positive experience, you know? And positive meaning not that we don't talk about challenges and we don't address hard topics, but that we want to find solutions. That's the positivity. There's so many other topics we're covering, but we want to find solutions, and that's the positive kind of outlook or spin on it, I think.

[00:12:15] Olivia: Well, that's why we jive, Sara because that's what I'm all about, right? I say, let's stop admiring problems, and let's seek out folks that are doing the hard work. This isn't easy, and I think the idea of that three-tiered system is beautiful because it's kind of a life's journey, right? Thinking of the friends that I circle up with these days, um, they're women that are at all different stages of their life and parenting. Someone that's a bit ahead in the journey that can mentor you.

[00:12:47] Olivia: Someone that's right alongside that, you're looking at each other, like, is this really happening to me right now as a mom? 

[00:12:54] Sara: Hold my hand, please. 

[00:12:56] Olivia: And someone that you can say, you know what, that was a really hard patch for me too, and here's what we did. I think that's gorgeous. And then you are an expert when it comes to, uh, the ever-evolving autistic research that is coming our way.

[00:13:14] Olivia: And how do you navigate that world of research and cognitive brain development, um, and decide what you are sharing with your listeners?

[00:13:24] Sara: Yeah.

[00:13:25] Sara: That's a really great question too. And you know, I think I have to go back and kind of give myself credit for, uh, past careers. I was a medical paralegal for some years, and so I think that gave me kind of an edge, um, over maybe somebody that, that doesn't have that education behind them, that I look heavily into facts.

[00:13:45] Sara: If I find something that resonates with me, I dig deep, and I find 5-10 sources that can back that up. One person that really helped me understand, kind of to step back and look at the whole picture, was Dr. Barry Prizant. And he wrote a book called, Uniquely Human, that you know, we're all humans and that even autistic behavior as human behavior and that all behavior is communication.

[00:14:15] Sara: Once we define that communication for that child, adult, teen that is struggling to process that information, we can really better assist and help nurture those things. And so I think when I looked at that going forward, um, it opened up a whole new group of possibilities. 

[00:13:14] Olivia: Yeah.

00:14:37] Sara: How can I better support my son, who, by the way, has the same eating and sleeping habits of this husband I've had for 20 years and adore, and why can't I give them the same kind of, uh, accommodations? I can!

[00:14:52] Sara: It's just that as parents, sometimes we choose to place control over our kids rather than purposeful parenting, if you will, in that we want for them to be independent, yet give them boundaries that are safe, of course, for kids. So I think that that is ever evolving. [REEL 3]

[00:15:14] Olivia: Sara, I also wanted you to share with listeners about The Neurodiverse Learning Retreat.

[00:15:19] Sara: Oh yeah, so exciting. This June 13th through 16th, I will be traveling to sunny Florida where we have booked an entire resort, and we are welcoming families, educators and employers to come and learn in small group workshop settings, um, ways to help accommodate four sensory needs in the classroom, in your home, in the workplace, and really just learn how to better understand the needs of neurodiverse individuals and how you can better support them.

[00:15:54] Sara: It's gonna be so much fun. And we have some amazing sponsors, the Doug Flutie Jr.  Foundation for Autism, the Vela Education Fund, um, employU, and some other smaller companies that we're working with in Florida and around the country. So, if you can make it, please do. And if you know you'd like to learn more about it, you can go to neurodiverselearningretreat.com. 

[00:16:21] Olivia: What other resources would you recommend to families or to educators that could help them along their research journey?

[00:16:30] Sara: Oh, it, it's so important, too, for educators. Um, I've just recently did a couple of, uh, presentations for our Utah Afterschool Network. And they had these amazing conferences with 15 to 2000 educators there, and so I was able to share these little projects that I've put together. You're welcome to share them with your listeners.

[00:16:52] Sara: I can send you the downloads.

[00:16:54] Sara: And the responses and feedback that I got from the teachers. There was about 50 responses and they were, oh my gosh, just so overwhelming of how much value and how much they were going to take away and integrate into their classrooms, like immediately with these students. 

[00:17:18] Sara: The ideas of teaching all the kids about their differences. About how to support one another on this journey, because us as parents and educators, we can teach so much, but the peer-to-peer interaction, the amount of information they can gain from their peers in helping understand a struggle that they might be going through or helping empower that student that has autism to make a presentation about strengths and share that with their friends. 

[00:17:55] Sara:  Now, that's not for everyone, of course, but those who do end up usually having amazing interactions throughout their school time because these children better understand on their level how to accommodate and support their friends.

[00:18:11] Sara: Um, so important, so important.

[00:18:14] Olivia: I would love listeners to know what's your best piece of advice for families or for parents? Um, Based on your own experience as a parent and also as an advocate.

[00:18:27] Sara: Definitely, oh, two things. Getting a diagnosis unless you have previous experience with special needs in your life is going to feel extremely overwhelming, and you need to let that be okay. You need to give yourself grace, understanding, and patience. Don't feel shameful or guilty, and especially don't let your child feel or see any of that because this is their journey that needs to be bright and wonderful for them.

[00:19:07] Sara: And it shouldn't start off with a sad tone to it. 

[00:19:13] Olivia: Yeah.

[00:19:13] Sara: So I think that that's a really important piece of advice. Also, meet your child where they're at. So many things, ways, measures in society are not for you and your child, and that is okay. I always kiind of make a joke that, and some people may or may not appreciate this, your child has their entire life to sit on a toilet and go to the bathroom.

[00:19:46] Sara: Your child also has their entire life to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Give them time and meet them where they're at to help foster those curiosities and enjoyments of things in life. Don't pressure, put control over, or think that you need to replicate your own childhood. 

[00:20:10] Olivia: I think the idea of accepting that each of our children are where they are in life, and there are these developmental milestones that society has constructed for us. But I also think that as parents, just going back to that three-tiered process of circling up with other families, I think that would be extremely helpful as well.

[00:20:33] Olivia: So before we jump into a call to action, what's the best way for listeners to get in touch with you?

[00:20:40] Sara: Yeah, uh, you're welcome to Google S.J. Childs, and I've taken up several pages of Google. Uh, so that's kind of exciting now to go on there and see the growth of this journey from me being on other podcasts. To my own podcast, the books, and my website is sjchilds.org. I'm on all of the social media platforms.

[00:21:04] Sara: I don't do Twitter as much as the others, but Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and LinkedIn. You can find me all there. 

[00:21:10] Olivia: Awesome. I'll make sure to include links in the show notes to your site and all of your social. So Sara, throw a call to action out there for listeners. What are your thoughts?

[00:21:22] Sara: Well, I think it's important to start with some people in your own community, your church, your school, your work. You know, people that might be neurodiverse if you don't know anyone, and learn about their special interests. Learn about what kind of accommodations they might need. 

[00:21:42] Sara: Just be kind. I think my call to action is really: When in doubt, make kindness your route. And take it, right? Just, and just it's so easy to fall into a space of judgment or questioning, but if you can face the outside and the public with compassion and kindness and curiosity for educating, then it's a whole new outlook, and you can just, you can be of value to society.

[00:22:19] Olivia: What a beautiful way to end our conversation, your words: When in doubt, make kindness your route. I love it. Sara, thank you so much for taking the time to be in conversation around this really important topic. [REEL 5]

[00:22:33] Sara: Yeah, it's been wonderful. Thank you for having me. 

[00:22:39] Olivia: Schoolutions is a podcast created, produced, and edited by me, Olivia Wahl. Special thanks to my guest, Sara Bradford. Thanks to my older son Benjamin, who created the music that's playing in the background. If you like Schoolutions, please share rate, review, and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook @schoolutionspodcast. If you want to reach out, leave me a SpeakPipe voice memo at my website: www.oliviawahl.com/podcast or via email @schoolutionspodcast@gmail.com. Don't forget to talk about us nicely on social media, and please keep listening. Let's continue finding inspiration together.