Make the School System Work for Your Child with Disabilities

Part One of my S5E23 @schoolutionspodcast conversation, literacy specialist and parent Stacey Shubitz shares her dual perspective on navigating special education. If you've ever felt lost in IEP meetings or unsure how to advocate for your child, this episode is your roadmap.

Stacey, author of Make the School System Work for Your Child With Disabilities, reveals why leading with your child's strengths—not deficits—changes everything. She breaks down the difference between IEPs and 504 plans, shares the exact phrases to use when schools push back on accommodations, and explains why evaluations are actually keys to unlocking easier learning paths for your child.

Whether you're a teacher wanting to better support families, a parent feeling overwhelmed by the system, or an administrator seeking to improve parent communication and family partnerships, you'll walk away with practical strategies you can use tomorrow.

Key Topics Covered:
- Special education vs. general education: understanding the difference
- IEPs vs. 504 plans explained clearly
- Leading with strengths in the evaluation process
- Effective teaching strategies for inclusive classrooms
- Parent involvement and home-school connection best practices
- Professional development for supporting students with disabilities
- Culturally responsive teaching and equity in education
- Student engagement and classroom belonging for all learners
- Teacher support and instructional coaching insights
- Self-care for caregivers navigating the special education system

Get in touch with Stacey:  

• Blog 
• Podcast 
• Substack
• Instagram 
• LinkedIn 

🔗 Get Stacey's book: PROMO CODE EMJAN1533 for 15% off ***promotion expires February 21, 2026

Some Episode Mentions:
➡️Emily Ladau 
➡️Own Voices Movement 

Chapters
0:00 Introduction: Navigating Special Education with Confidence
1:00 Meet Stacey Shubitz: Educator and Parent Perspective
3:00 The Book That Changes Everything
4:00 Learning from Own Voices in Disability
6:00 Two Hats: Educator and Parent
7:00 Special Education vs. General Education Explained
9:00 IEPs vs. 504 Plans: The Difference That Matters
10:00 Reframing Evaluations: Unlocking Your Child's Brain
12:00 Leading with Strengths, Not Deficits
14:00 Navigating Communication Breakdowns
16:00 Your Go-To Resource Guide
17:00 Lightning Round: IEP Meeting Essentials
17:15 When to Request IEP Revisions
17:45 The One Document to Keep on Your Phone
18:15 Phrases for Advocating for Accommodations
18:45 Biggest Myth About Special Education
19:15 Self-Care for Parents: The Power of Meditation
20:00 Coming Up in Part 2: Life Beyond School

🎧 New episodes every Monday & Friday with bite-sized Wednesday reel bonus content.
📧 Connect: schoolutionspodcast@gmail.com
🎵 Music: Benjamin Wahl

When coaches, teachers, administrators, and families work hand in hand, it fosters a school atmosphere where everyone is inspired and every student is fully engaged in their learning journey.

Transcript

Olivia: [00:00:00] If you're a caregiver with a student that has special needs, you may know that feeling - when you're sitting across the table at an IEP meeting and you're not quite sure what questions to ask or worse, you leave and realize you forgot to advocate for what your child really needs. What if I told you that special education doesn't have to feel like navigating a complex maze in the dark, that there's actually a roadmap.

One that honors both your child's strengths and gets them the support they deserve. Today's conversation is going to change how you think about special education, because here's what most people don't realize: leading with your child's deficits isn't just emotionally draining, it's the wrong starting point entirely.

Stacey Shubitz has lived on both sides of the IEP table. She's a certified literacy specialist who has spent years supporting teachers with writing instruction, and [00:01:00] she's a parent navigating the special education system for her own child. That dual perspective? It's exactly what makes her new book, Make the School System Work for Your Child with Disabilities such a game changer. In our conversation, Stacey reveals why evaluations aren't something to dread. They're actually the key to unlocking your child's brain for easier learning. She shares the exact phrases to use when schools push back on accommodations.

The one document you should always have on your phone and why meditation isn't just nice, it's necessary.  Whether you're a teacher wanting to better support families or a parent feeling overwhelmed by the system, this episode is for you. By the end, you'll have practical tools to walk into any meeting prepared, confident, and ready to advocate effectively. Alright, here's my conversation with the wonderful Stacey Shubitz. [00:02:00] 

This is Schoolutions Teaching Strategies, the podcast that extends education beyond the classroom. A show that isn't just theory, but practical try-it-tomorrow approaches for educators and caregivers to ensure every student finds their spark and receives the support they need to thrive. 

Olivia: I am Olivia Wahl and I am honored to be in conversation with a wonderful Stacy Shubitz today. Let me tell you a little bit about Stacey. Stacey is a certified literacy specialist and former fourth and fifth grade teacher. Since 2009, she has been a literacy consultant supporting teachers with writing instruction. She has published several books and is the co-founder of the two Writing Teachers blog and podcast. Stacy, I was so excited to get your book in the mail. I have it right here. I have actually read this book three [00:03:00] times. I usually give two but 

Stacey: I am amazed. I appreciate it. 

Olivia: It's fabulous. And it's called Make the School System Work for Your Child With Disabilities: Empowering Kids for the Future. Um, we are going to begin our conversation focusing on your journey and the school system at large. And then part two of our conversation is going to focus more on life with family outside of the school walls, which I appreciated so much from your book. Welcome, Stacey. 

Stacey: Thank you Olivia. Hi everyone!

Olivia: Yeah. Hi. Okay, so I asked you to speak to research, but your book is so full of many, many sources of research. So instead I, I'll ask, you know, who is a person or a researcher that you look to and lean on? 

Stacey: You know, I have really found that it helps to follow Own Voices. We talk about [00:04:00] own voices in reading as literacy people. Um, I have found that I want to hear from people who are living with disability, um, and I can learn from them on social media, whether that's LinkedIn or Instagram. The, the place doesn't matter, but what people have to say, who have this lived experience, that's what I need to learn. Um, I think my, my first person that I think of is Emily Ladau. She wrote, um, Demystifying Disability, I believe was the title. Um, I know it's quoted in my book, but, um, she is just a powerhouse and I've learned so much from her and I've I watched who she follows and I've started following them and just try and learn from so many different people. 

Olivia: That is a brilliant strategy because I, I think of too, when we are both podcasters and when we tag people in episodes, it's fascinating to see [00:05:00] their network. So that, that's such a great lens to look through as well. I also want to read from your book because you really set us up as readers, um, and you give me permission to do this. On page three, you say, you explain what's inside this book and you say, “I hope this book will be a steadfast companion, offering you a roadmap to navigate your child's elementary school years. The book is organized into three parts where you'll learn about the special education landscape, how to prepare for an IEP meeting, how to advocate for accommodations and more.”

And it's laid out in a way that it offers open access for teachers, but also for families. And that's what is just, it jumps off the page. So start us off because there is this duality that you live between literacy specialist and a parent. So how did that [00:06:00] craft and influence the book? 

Stacey: I never set out to write a book for parents. I intended to write another book for teachers. And somehow through conversations with my Stenhouse editor, Bill Varner with Leah Mermelstein, who's a professional colleague and with Lynne Dorfman, who I have co-authored Welcome to Writing Workshop with, I realized I had a book for parents on my hands. So I approached this book wearing two hats. Both educator and parent, because I think it gives me a unique perspective because I've been on both sides of the IEP meeting table and they're vastly different. Uh, there's a lot more emotion to the parental side, but I bring those years of education to the book as well.

Olivia: The metaphor that you offer of the, the education system feeling like a complex maze. 

Stacey: Mm-hmm. 

Olivia: For teachers and parents. It's, [00:07:00] you know, I think it'd be helpful to differentiate between special education and general education because they are two different worlds. 

Stacey: Yes. I think the most important thing to think about is that general education is the one-size-fits-all. Yes, we hope that there's differentiation going on. In classrooms, but it's for the masses as where special education is that specially designed individualized instruction. It takes the kid’s, um, present level into mind. It takes their learning style and their pacing, and it provides targeted interventions and accommodations for that specific child.

Olivia: Yeah. What I want to point out to listeners. And readers, I will say, because everyone needs to have this book, um, I have some post-its on particular pages that I learned new aspects of this world [00:08:00] from reading your book that I never knew before. So you have pages of resources, uh, variations in the disability world, uh, finding state and local help. Amazing. And then another page I tab that I was actually sharing with a parent last night at a trumpet concert or band concert, the disability models. We're not going to go in depth with that in this conversation, but listeners, you have to get the book because those disability models were newer for me in my learning, and it was extraordinarily helpful. Um, so it, let's then take it a step further because I, I'd love for you to explain the difference between IEPs and 504s. 

Stacey: Sure. Um. So I'm a map person to this day even though I have a GPS, I carry a lot of maps in my car. Um, I do TripTiks from AAA, like I'm, I'm still hardcore map person. And I think an IEP is very much like that detailed map. It [00:09:00] shows teachers how to help a child learn as where a 504 plan. I'll just use a metaphor that I did not invent. I don't know where it comes from, but of the wheelchair ramp, um, it's allowing access into the classroom, but it's not changing what the classroom looks like. So as where an IEP is providing that specially designed instruction for a child, a 504 plan is really just accommodations to help a child who has a disability to get what they need to access the environment.

Olivia: Stacy, uh, you also reframe the evaluation process for us and there was a quote in the book I highlighted, and then I just put a little heart next to it. Would you mind sharing that, reframe with listeners? 

Stacey: Sure. So a friend of mine was telling me about their child going through the evaluation process. The child had been struggling with a [00:10:00] number of things in school, um, and I guess that child really wasn't feeling great about needing to have an evaluation. It's a lot of time out of school. Um, because it was an independent evaluation and, uh, it's hard. You're working, the kids are working really hard during those evaluations, and she said to her child that they were looking for the key to unlock the brain so that they would find an easier path to learning and living. 

And I just thought, wow. Yeah. Like I remember saying, can I quote you in my book? Because that is the essence of what it is, because often people are, um, thinking that there's a stigma to it. Oh. Like, you know, they don't wanna talk about the fact that their child's getting evaluated. And it's like, no, no, no. There's nothing wrong with you if you're getting evaluated. You're trying to get [00:11:00] help. We wanna make the world an easier place. We wanna make school an easier place and home an easier time for a child. 

Olivia: Yeah. It, that quote, it just resonated so deeply. And the idea of unlocking for every, everyone, but also that we need, we wanna fit in, we wanna feel like we have a place. And so I, uh, when I read that the first time, I actually pictured like a door opening with the key. And here, welcome, because you're wanted here and you, you have a place. So it's just beautiful. Um, I also appreciate chapter one is called Identifying Needs and Leading with Strengths. And this feels so counterintuitive because often when parents are going through the evaluation process, they have to note all of the different nuances that their child struggles with, But you say, no, we need to identify and lead with strength. So why? Why do we need to do that? [00:12:00] 

Stacey: I think it's just a philosophy of how do we speak about our children. I have two children, one of whom has an IEP, the other one doesn't. If I am going to talk about my kids to you, I'm not going to lead with deficits for either of them. I am going to tell you who they are as people, and yes, one of them has an IEP for a reason, but what, why would you lead with that? Um, I mean, I was just telling this to Melanie, Meehan the other day, like, I can be like, I, I'm a magnet for people just coming to me and telling me things about their children or their grandchildren.

I remember I was, um, you know, finishing up a swim the other day and this grandparent was like, I'm a special needs grandma. But like, I, I don't know if people are wearing that as a badge of honor or what is [00:13:00] it? But like, as I started like asking just about the child, like there was so much to this child, and I'm like, why? Why is that what you lead with? So, um, I just think. Yes, one's child is struggling. Yes, there's a reason that you are going through an evaluation process, but like, let's let all of our kids be kids and talk about them just as we would want someone to talk about us. 

Olivia: Yeah. Yeah. And I would say too, the idea of common breakdowns in communication. That will happen because we're in the system. Everyone, I, I always assume best intent, I, I try. 

Stacey: Mm-hmm. 

Olivia: And so if we are communicating and having that asset-based mindset, then what do we do if it feels like there's a breakdown and maybe someone's not on the same page, what do you recommend? 

Stacey: You know, I think I've learned through the years because we [00:14:00] all are growing and I have not always done everything perfectly. I've learned to try not to get too emotional. Um, I, you know, maybe I'll jot something down in a hurry, but then that's not the email I'm sending, like I'm just getting it out for myself because, you know, I find writing cathartic, but I think when we get overly emotional or we, um, info dump a little too much.

It's not really helpful. Uh, and I think the less that we can do that and the more that we can approach teachers with, um, this like lens of curiosity to understand what's going on and just asking some questions. And there's a whole section in the book where I'm like, here's some ways that you can approach emails. Um, but I think when we approach it from a place of like, I'm curious about what happened, this is what my child said. Could you tell me more? It's less accusatory. And I mean, none of us wants to open [00:15:00] our email and find angry messages from parents. And so I think when I hear about things going wrong, it's usually because someone info dumped too much and you know, once you send that email you can't get it back.

Olivia: Right, right. 

Stacey: So, um, those are usually the times when I'm like saying to people like, here's another approach you might try. 

Olivia: I think that's incredibly helpful. And I also, you know, I wanna point out to listeners that the book truly is a resource, and so yes, I read it sequentially each time, but there are so many, um, graphics and tables that are incredible that you could just have at the ready it you're in hand as a little guide, a little cheat sheet for yourself. So I picture you don't have to walk in with a whole book to a meeting. You could copy just a few pages or take notes and have that in mind. So it, it really, it, it helps the parent go [00:16:00] into a meeting so well prepared and I appreciate that.

Stacey: Yeah, I feel like I'm comfortable going into most meetings because I've again been on both sides of the table. This is not my first rodeo. I've been at this for almost a decade. Um, in the school world, and I know what I'm doing, but there are times that I'm like, I’ve gotta write stuff down 'cause I don't wanna forget, um, a question I have or I wanna be very specific with my wording.

So I'm going to make sure I write it out ahead of time. And, you know, I, I have, I have my notebook all the, all the time. I mean, I, I bring it places because I think it, it really matters to be specific and to be intentional with our words. 

Olivia: And you, you say, be respectful of everyone's time. You cannot go in and have a four-hour meeting if 40 minutes have been carved. So we're going to jump to lightning round, and these questions were very intentionally chosen because I think [00:17:00] that your responses will be kind of that cheat sheet or quick thoughts for caregivers. To walk into a meeting prepared. So first question: If the IEP feels like it needs revisions, what is the best time for a parent to reach out?

Stacey: Uh, I think there's two times. The first one is when your gut tells you something's wrong. Even if your kid's telling you everything's fine, listen to your gut, trust, your gut. The second one would be, um, I think when a child's social, emotional, or mental health is starting to take a hit because of whatever's happening at school, that's a time to call a meeting.

Olivia: Okay. Um, what is one document that is your go-to that, at first I asked you would keep it in binder, but you pointed out No, no. Phones can be really handy too. So what document do you have? 

Stacey: Yes! They can be, um, I think it really matters to have your child's current, IEP on your [00:18:00] phone or on your iPad or whatever you carry around with you regularly, have that because you want to be able to access their specially designed instruction or their goals very easily. And if you have that handy, and they're, they're large documents. I mean, sometimes they can be 50, 60 pages. Having the electronic file, that's the most current is my go-to. 

Olivia: Ah, brilliant. Uh, what is your go-to phrase if you want a accommodation or a modification and the school says, oh, we've already done that?

Stacey: Okay, you want the one I would say, not the snarky. Well, there's the first time for everything or 

Olivia: What you would say. 

Stacey: Yeah, no, what I would actually say is, well, this could benefit my child and many others like her.

Olivia: Mm, beautiful. Um, what's the biggest myth about special education?

Stacey: Least restrictive environment means that kids [00:19:00] who are in special education are educated often in the same classroom as their, um, general education peers or as their non-disabled peers. It doesn't mean that a child is segregated into special room for the entire school day. 

Olivia: Okay, and last, this is another aspect and thread of your book that is beautiful self-care for parents. What is one self-care tip that you think every parent needs to know? 

Stacey: I think meditation is really helpful, and I'm not talking about it from a religious perspective. I'm talking about just being mindful every day. Um, the days I find that don't go well in my life are the days I didn't take time to wake up 10 minutes earlier to meditate. So if you can find that time, I think it's helpful. It doesn't have to be first thing of the day, it could be any time. 

Olivia: Regulation is a lovely thing, [00:20:00] Stacy? Yes. Alright. 

Stacey: We all need it. 

Olivia: We all need it. We all need it. We're going to pause the conversation because, um, we're gonna come back with part two talking about life outside of school, uh, and curating joy in that life. Thanks, Stacey.

Stacey: Okay,

Olivia: That's a wrap on part one of my conversation with Stacey Shubitz. I hope you're walking away with some practical phrases tucked into your back pocket and a renewed sense that you don't have to navigate the system alone. But here's what we haven't talked about yet, and it's just as important. What happens during those other 130 hours of the week when your child isn't in school?

How do you curate joy instead of relentless therapy schedules? And what happens to your relationships with your partner, with your other children, [00:21:00] with yourself when you forget to take care of the caregiver? Make sure to come back later this week for part two of our conversation where we go beyond IEPs into real life.

We are talking about the permission to take speech therapy vacations, the children's books that help siblings develop empathy and why one speech pathologist's advice to take care of your marriage to Stacey and her husband could be the most important recommendation on the list. You don't wanna miss it.