111-Advocacy Abby - How to Ask for Help & Receive It

Today, Ivelisse welcomes Abby Zachritz (“Advocacy Abby”), a mother of five and passionate advocate for families facing disability, cancer, and complex medical needs. 

Abby co-founded the Connect Platform and serves as Director of Family Advocacy at SupportNow, where she helps families access critical resources like grants, therapy programs, adaptive equipment, and financial assistance. 

She shares her top health tip—prioritizing sleep, including its important role in processing trauma—and explains how she supports overwhelmed families by first hearing their story and helping them build a strong community of support early on. Abby also introduces SupportNow, an all-in-one platform that simplifies updates, fundraising with minimal fees, and practical help requests like meals, prayer, and other forms of support. She discusses Connect, a free and continually updated database of more than 3,400 grants that can be searched by location, diagnosis, and need, and shares practical strategies such as compounding grants, pursuing non-income-based assistance like gas cards, and communicating needs in ways that invite support without directly asking for money.

Learn more about Advocacy Abby on her Instagram Page

Suggested Resources:

• SupportNow - One Platform, Any Support
• Connect - Grants and Foundations
• Believe Big Patient Advocates

Your donations power our podcast's mission to support cancer patients with hope, insights, and resources. Every contribution fuels our ability to uplift and empower. Join us in making a lasting impact. Donate now! 🌟

Transcript

 Hi, I am Ivelisse Page and thanks for listening to the Believe Big podcast, the show where we take deep dive into your healing with health experts, integrative practitioners, biblical faith leaders, and cancer thrivers from around the globe.

 Welcome to today's episode on the Believe Big Podcast. My name is Ivelisse Page and I'm excited to spend this time with you. Today we're honored to introduce Abby Zachritz, affectionately known as Advocacy Abby, a mother of five, and a compassionate advocate for families navigating disability and complex medical challenges.

Her advocacy is deeply personal, shaped by her own journey supporting her child, and she has become a trusted guide for families who feel overwhelmed and unsure of where to begin. As a co-founder of the Connect Platform, Abby bridges families to more than a thousand grants, therapy programs, adaptive equipment resources, and financial support opportunities worldwide.

She also serves as Director of Family Advocacy at SupportNow, sits on the board of the Parent Empowerment Network and consults with corporations to bring lived experience into decision making spaces. At her core, Abby believes that no one should face hard things alone. Through her leadership and heart for community, she reminds us that advocacy is love in action, and that hope grows stronger when we stand together.

Welcome to the show, Abby. 

Oh, I'm so, so excited to be here. 

Well, we are so grateful, you know, we've started this partnership with SupportNow, for some time now, and it has been just such a blessing to so many of the patients that we work with, and I'm so grateful that you took the time today to spend with us because this is something that everyone needs and everyone needs to hear about.

And before we get into that, I would just love to find out what your favorite health tip is. 

Oh man, my favorite health tip. You know, coming from a mom who has children, has a child with a disability and has, um, been on this road for a long time, my favorite health tip is whenever it's possible sleep, a good amount of time at night, like sleep.

Sleep is one of those things that I have learned. You know, everybody talks about it, but until you have to sacrifice it continually, you don't really realize how much it impacts your body from mental health to, uh, physical, you know, just responses to your muscles, everything. So sleep, sleep, sleep.

I a hundred percent agree. We all know those times, uh, those of us who, who have been mothers and waking up in the middle of the night and how sometimes we were walking zombies 'cause we're waking up every two to three hours. So you're absolutely right. Sleep affects everything from our hormones, to our emotions, to our attitudes.

Uh, that's a great health tip. So thank you for sharing. 

You're welcome. And actually another just little fun fact that you brought up was it also really helps with processing trauma. So if you're going through something traumatic, it's when your brain has time to like try to put that where it should go.

So another fun fact. 

Yes. Yes. That's so good, so good. So Abby, you know many families that we work with are facing cancer or complex medical challenges post-cancer. And many, many feel the immediate financial pressure, you know, equipment, travel, lost income, even specialized vehicles sometimes that are needed.

Mm-hmm. You know, when someone comes to you overwhelmed, where do you begin? 

Well, when I, if it's, I guess it depends how they come to me. So if they are referred to me from Believe Big, I begin with just asking them about their journey. Like, where are you on this? Is this new? Have you been on this road for a long time?

Just to give an example, I've had one family come to me recently that they just got a diagnosis, but it was incredibly, it was stage four. And another that told me she's been on this journey for five years. And so I finding out where you are, one, it helps me understand where you are in processing.

Not necessarily understanding exactly where you personally are, but just have you had time to even digest what you're going through. It also helps me realize how we should communicate to your community. What your support needs are. My perfect scenario is always reaching people as early as possible in their journey, because then I can really set up a network of support with them to help them feel encouraged the entire time.

I'm a big believer that we are designed for community, that we give and we give, and so many people have such a hard time when they're going through these things to receive. But, there's a season for everything. There's a season for giving, and there's a season for receiving. And if we can help set up a network, not only of your community, but also apl, one place to simplify and reduce some of that overwhelm from the beginning, it makes everything just, just a little less cumbersome as you're going on this journey. Um, however, that's not always the case. Sometimes we, we reach people that have already exhausted everything, as in like they've exhausted their insurance, they've tried to figure out ways to do things, and then we come up with a plan that just feels a bit better for them.

So I really do meet them through organizations like Believe Big or just somebody said, Hey, I follow this lady on Instagram her name's Advocacy, Abby, and they kind of don't really, that's always the funniest when I get on a call and somebody's like, I'm like, so do you know, like I try to get reference.

Do you know who I am? 'cause if they know they've been following me, then I don't need to reiterate all that. But if they don't, they're, it's always funny. They're like, yeah, no, I don't know what Advocate Abby is, and I'm like, okay, it's advocacy and, uh, let me kind of go down this road with you. And just one of the things I heard today from somebody that, um, I worked with earlier this morning, she said, you know, it's so nice to know I'm not alone on this journey because she just got this sudden diagnosis. And when you're in this world that I'm in, diagnosis and disability, um, it feels like everybody, like I, everybody I work with, everybody's involved in this world. But the truth is, until my son went through what he went through, I was completely blind to this world.

'Cause people don't talk about it. They keep it to themselves or they, you might hear about it really when something's not going right. You know, you don't hear about it from the beginning. You don't hear people saying, yeah, I could use somebody to come to my house and help have a cup of coffee. So, 

Yeah you said a couple things in there that are really powerful is there's a season of giving and a season of receiving, and I think that's so important for me to highlight because so many times there's, some of us that feel like, well, I don't wanna put anybody out. I don't wanna inconvenience anyone.

And you know, I really feel like you rob someone of the blessing of helping when you don't allow yourself and your family to receive help from those that care about you. And you know, I also love that you mentioned that you listen to their story as far as where they are. And that's really rare in today's society.

You know, that's one of the things that we work really hard at, Believe Big as well, is we had advocates that, you know, hold space for people, that pray for patients that, you know, help to direct 'em to the right resources like SupportNow. And we actually had someone who called into our office yesterday and said thank you.

And our, um, one of our staff said. For what? She goes for answering the phone. You know how hard it is to get a live voice today? Yeah. It is so refreshing. And so it's those simple things that mean a lot. And you mention about community and that is what, when you're in these difficult moments that a community can gather and in a variety of different ways to help in a variety of ways that you may particularly need. And like you said, sometimes you don't even know what you need until it's brought to the forefront, and I love that you guys do that. And so could you briefly just share with people you know, sometimes people hear of these GoFundMe's and GiveSendGo's. Mm-hmm. And I'm not a GoFundMe fan, honestly. I don't like how much they take, um, from the funding.

And so I would send a GiveSendGo tell people 'cause they would get more for their money. But now with your platform, it's even better because they can receive almost a hundred percent of that, if not all. And also you have so many of the tools wrapped in one, so can you briefly share what all the different ways that you help?

Absolutely. Yeah. So at SupportNow we have created, um, an all in one tool. So just to give a little background, I was in the PICU with my son for 52 days. I had a signup genius floating around for helping with kids, I had a meal train somewhere. I had a Facebook page, I had a GoFundMe, and I had all these things, and you're right about GoFundMe.

I was always very disheartened when, when the money transferred over and it's not the same that people saw. There was a big chunk taken out. And so at SupportNow what we've done is created a platform that allows families to keep more money. The onus is on the donor. It's optional. The donor can round up.

Uh, but it also allows people to support in whatever way is their gifting, right? So, some people are prayer warriors. You can actually put under our Lend A Hand section to raise a hand to pray. You can be specific times, hours, or just open-ended. You can say, um, I would like somebody to come fold laundry with me and just have a cup of coffee. You can put any kind of need customized to what's going on for you, or you could turn that off. You say, right now all I need is financial support, or right now I don't need financial support. I just need prayer, or I just need a place to communicate what's going on in my life where everybody knows they can come and find this information on one link instead of,

you know, five, six different links and you're losing more the money than than you would on SupportNow. And so we've really tried to reduce overwhelm with our platform. 

Yes, I think you're also one of the few that help to provide resources, and I know that financial resources Believe Big is one of the very, very few that provides grants for patients to gain access to integrative, uh, physicians.

So there isn't this barrier of entry. And the same with your, through your Connect, you know, you've identified more than a thousand funding sources. So what kind of grants are actually available for cancer patients that most people don't know exist? 

Yeah, so one of the things you said about Believe Big, we connect with deeply, which is it's a real, there's a real person on the other line.

So I am the Director of Family Advocacy for SupportNow. So they specifically brought me in to help families like ours, families that are going through major life moments, diagnosis, disability, from a standpoint of a person that understands that. And so we've, uh, we created Connect the largest database that's 100% free.

All of this is free, by the way, from the concierge service to using the platform. Um, we created Connect with the in mind that we wanted to be living and breathing. I was a parent that would go to resource pages and with good intentions, people put resource pages, but they don't have time to update them because they are focused on whatever their mission is.

And so, in Connect it's sortable by location, diagnosis, and need. So one by itself, that alone is very unique, but then also age and it's living and breathing as we have a real group of people that review these grants continually. So if a grant closes, we mark it closed. If it's a brand new grant we're adding to it.

We're actually over 3,400 grants at this point. 

Oh, wow. 

We're just going, like blowing it outta the water because every time we partner with a hospital or a foundation, they send us their lists and we absorb 'em and we keep 'em up to date for them as well. And so, um, we are just growing rapidly with our grants and what's really unique is, and we have this, uh, official partnership with Believe Big, people can be sent, they can get a one-on-one consultation with myself or our team, and we sit down and say, okay, what are you going through? All right. Based on what you're saying, here's the best plan of action from a financial standpoint when it comes to crowdsourcing or grants. You are right by saying Believe Big is one of the few foundations that cover alternative methods.

There are some others in other spaces, but when it comes to what you guys offer, you're right, you guys are very unique and amazing. I love that my son has benefited from so many alternative therapies. I mean, when I say benefit, I mean like made things that make his like able to see, you know, that's a, that's a big benefit.

And so, um, we need more, we need more of that. We need people to give to Believe Big, so you can give more. But, sometimes I approach, I tell people we'll eat elephant one bite at a time, and we're gonna look at the problem from every different direction. So if the problem is you have a treatment, let's say it's $20,000, which is not uncommon in our world, right?

That's a normal price for a treatment. We're not gonna say, can we find $20,000 through a grant all the time? Sometimes we're gonna say, can we get a grant that will cover your mortgage, that will pay, um, your past medical bills that will help out with your kids' tuition? Can we get that covered? And then maybe we'll take that money and reassign it to, uh, you know, the treatment.

So if we can't find a grant for that specific treatment, especially alternative care, then we try to look at it in multiple different ways and get there one way or another. And that's where the crowdsourcing comes in as well. Explaining to people when things aren't covered by insurance 'cause people don't know this world.

It is very expensive. And so just explaining that half the time is, is, is winning the battle. 

Yes. Yes. And you know, many families assume that they don't qualify for government disability, that they won't qualify for anything. So what are some creative or lesser known funding pathways families should explore?

Yeah. So first of all, there in every grant we put in Connect, when you click view to like view that specific grant, it'll tell you what's required. Is there financial verification required? That's one of the things you need to look at. If you make anywhere from 80 to 150,000, I, I say that's like in the yellow area, that some grants that do have financial verification will still approve you.

Now if you're under that, I think whenever they say financial verification, don't worry about it. Just go ahead and keep applying. Um, but if you're over that, some grants do not even consider financial verification at all. They look at your condition and, uh, the need. So they might say, I need a letter of medical necessity, or I need proof of treatment.

Like you have to show that you're going to a treatment. I worked with a lady today that she's traveling outta state multiple times a week to get treatment. It's costing her an arm and leg in gas. And so we are approaching a grant about a gas card, which they give freely as long as you can prove that you're traveling.

So, um, it had nothing to do with her income. She didn't have to worry about that. They just cared that she was having to do that for active treatment. And so a lot of times you don't have to provide verification for income, but that also, once again. If you do have a good source, income is where crowdsourcing can come really helpful.

Yes, and I think that's something that I wish more foundations and organizations would realize. I mean, I was the perfect example where on paper from our tax records, it would show that we are completely fine. Mm-hmm. But when I was diagnosed, I lost my income because I was an independent contractor.

And had it not been for our family and friends, we would've lost everything. So thank God for our support system. And so that's kind of one of the reasons why. We as well, you know, you have to prove that you are on a cancering process and we actually pay the physicians directly.

Yeah. Um, so that we're responsible for the donations that come to us. But it shouldn't be determined by what it says you have on paper because everyone's situation changes so quickly when you have a diagnosis like cancer or a situation, you know, like your son.

Just to give a little context on money, like, because I don't think people realize that, like how much this costs when we say it's hard, it's not hard, it's impossible.

It's nothing's impossible, God, but it is impossible with us. It's impossible with my paycheck. Okay. So, um, just to give context, just for children, well, I'll just speak in that demographic. From zero to 18 to raise a child that's neurotypical and healthy, no diagnosis, nothing, it's about $240,000. This is according to the Department of Agriculture.

You can look it up. But to raise a child with a diagnosis or disability, so that's a broad range, right? It is on average, 1.4 to $2.4 million. Wow. For the same, I could raise 10 healthy children or one child with a diagnosis. And, and it would cost about the same amount. So it's not an even playing field. So I, I meet a lot of families that are middle class families.

They feel this, this conflict of, I've always been able to provide for myself and now I'm hit by this boulder of expenses and I feel I don't know what to do because I'm capable, right? I'm able, but I can't handle this. And that's where having an advocate can really, really help on the way you position your crowdsource, the way you position or know which grants to apply for, not to waste time on the way you position the ask.

Like, uh, just a little fun fact. I never ask for money. I never have any of my clients ask for money ever. We present the facts and we let people decide what's best for them and the way that they are gifted. And so, yeah, it is overwhelming and I think, I wish more of us talked about it because I think when people realize the actual cost and to realize that a treatment that's not covered by insurance all could save your life.

That's how do you, how do you put a price on that? 

Yeah. How, you mentioned something just now. How do you provide, you know, what's happening without asking for money. 'Cause I know that that is something that makes people feel uncomfortable. Yeah. So how do you present that in a way that doesn't make the person who's setting up this page feel uncomfortable that they're having to ask people for money?

And so I'll take it from the perspective, 'cause sometimes I get aunts or cousins or nephews or something that's doing it on someone else's behalf, but the majority of the time I'm working with the person that is, is in like, it's their child or themselves that need help. Um, and so one, you're working with an advocate, so you get to point to me a lot.

You get to say the advocate said. That, that to me is very powerful. So when we create the page one, I work with my clients. Now, anybody can go to SupportNow.org for any reason, house, fire, cancer, disability, whatever, and make a, a, create a Support Now page. I highly recommend it if you're gonna ever use a platform like that.

However, with me, you can work one-on-one with me and I'll help curate your page with you. So I'll help you with the description, which can be incredibly overwhelming. I help with explaining what's going on in a way that, it's not focused on the money, but it, it talks about it. So we talk about it a little bit and that like, this is what's going on.

We found a solution or we found some a, a, a treatment or we found something that could make things different. This is the cost that's not covered by insurance. We will be posting updates here and then. That's it. We invite people to follow and share. Now how they launch is where the part that feels better for most of the families I work with.

When we launch, we text our friends and family. We individually text 'cause no one likes the group text and we say, Hey, so today I met with an advocate about my, and you can fill in the blank, my situation, my kids' diagnosis, a treatment plan, whatever you wanna say. After meeting with the advocate, we decided to go forward with a support now page so that our friends and family could follow and support us on this journey.

I thought of you. I wanted to see if you'd be on my team, or it could be hashtag, you know, Team Believe Big. All that means is that you'd be willing to share this page on social and with others so more people might know about and follow my journey. I'll be posting updates here. Zero pressure, but would you wanna be on my team?

Everybody says yes. 'Cause you're just asking people close to you, you're not asking acquaintances that you met at the bus stop, you know? And so they all say, yes, of course, and then they read. They see a donate button and if they wanna give, they give. And if they wanna raise a hand for prayer, they'll raise a hand for prayer.

And if they wanna show up with a meal, they'll show up with the meal. Whatever you've put there is how they'll take action in the way that best suits them. Instead of saying, Hey, could you go fund this for me? Or, Hey, could you give me a meal? And like we just create a place for community to function the way it best functions.

Yes. And to more for the family. 

Yes. You, you all often talk about moving families from overwhelm to empowerment. Mm-hmm. So what shifts practically when a family realizes there are pathways available to them? 

Everything. Everything. When you don't, when you're not trapped. So when my son had his diagnosis, uh, years ago he had an accident and, um, when I found out there were ways for him to recover, things that he had lost.

Money was not going to stop me. And I'll just give you a little background. My husband was a church plant pastor and I was a stay-at-home mom with five kids. Money was not readily available. Like we did not have any, so that's when, when you find grants that you realize, oh wait, I might have to figure some things out, but I can, I know I'm gonna get this grant every year for $5,000.

Where I know I'm gonna be able to get there by compounding grants. A lot of people don't know, you can compound grants, you can add them together to, to get a big goal. Um, it changes everything. One of the things that I try to always encourage my families to, no matter what the prognosis is from the physicians, is there's always hope.

There's always hope. And so, um, I, I'm a big believer, like, look at it once, look all the way down the road once with whatever they're telling you and then that's it. You live in today and today alone. 'cause today has enough worries of its own. And so, um, we'll make a plan. We'll work towards that plan. And just knowing they're not alone, I think changes everything too.

There's pathways when you're not alone, when you have somebody else walking on the journey and there's almost someone always that has done this ahead of you. No matter what you're in. Yes. And so looking for them.

 Hi, this is Autumn Burns, Director of Patient Impact for Believe Big, and I would like to invite you to a Taste of Hope, Believe Big's Maryland fundraising dinner on Thursday, April 23rd from 5:30 to 9:00 PM. This is more than a dinner. It's an unforgettable experience. Enjoy an elevated immersive dining experience crafted by Baltimore's Best, Chef Zack Trabbold of Evolved Catering and his acclaimed culinary team.

Every course will be thoughtfully prepared with exceptional ingredients and incredible flavor you'll be talking about long after the evening ends. But, the real heart of the night? Hope. You'll hear powerful stories of lives impacted right here in our community. Discover how integrated medicine is changing cancer care, and have the opportunity to participate in a paddle raise that directly supports families navigating cancer.

Individual tickets are $150. Tables of eight started at $1,000 and special tables of honor options are available to celebrate a loved one. Seats are limited. Cocktail attire requested. So gather your friends, your family, and join us in Upperco for a night where extraordinary food, meaningful connection and generosity come together to create hope.

Visit believebig.org to reserve your seat today.

 I love that. Well, you know, as we're coming to a close, if a Believe Big listener is sitting at home right now, worried about how they'll afford their next round of treatment or supportive care, what is the first concrete step they can take towards financial clarity and empowerment?

Yeah. I'd say if they're willing to want or want to sit down and do a 30 minute concierge with me, one-on-one, I look at them just like I look at anybody on a video call and we have a conversation. I think that's a great first step. But if you feel empowered from just listening to this and you're like, I just need the right tools, go to our Grants Connect platform, sign up for a free account. Create a SupportNow page. Take the tips we talked about here and go for it. It's very simple. But when you're feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders to having something removed by having, you know, what we offer at SupportNow, which is real live people to help you on this journey, really can make a big difference.

Or contact, Believe Big, they have all the right contact stuff for us. And, um, we definitely can help you take next steps to getting whatever it is that you need for your, for your journey. 

Yes. And I was also asked this, you know, what role does corporate advocacy play? You know, are there employers, uh, community groups that can be leveraged to help cover treatment, therapy, or equipment costs?

Corporate advocates. So when you say that, what do you mean? Like, um, advocating within. 

You know, are there ways that, you know, corporations do corporate sponsorships and things like that? So are there employers or, you know, ways that you can engage within your own community that can be leveraged to help cover treatment?

So from a person's standpoint, so obviously corporations like to give to nonprofits because they get the tax write off. SupportNow's not a nonprofit, it's a for profit for good. And so we're able to move fast like that and provide concierge service for families. And so when they go to give to solicit corporations, which I have people do all the time and successfully.

They are usually doing an event like a golf tournament or a, uh, pickleball tournament or wall balls, like an exercise thing where people sign up and I've had corporations give large amounts of people SupportNow pages as gifts to help sponsor a whole. Or to help, you know, they funded the, the food for the afternoon for the event.

And, that's been ways. But, I will, when I do my one-on-ones with families, sometimes I'll help them curate pages. Like, um, uh, Canva will help make flyers. One of the cool things on the SupportNow pages, if you click share on your page, it'll pull up your picture and put a QR right on it. People will show up at organizations, say, Hey, just read about our story here and if you wanna give, we'd love to connect with you.

But that's been the main way when it comes to corporate sponsorships that I've seen interacted through our platform. 

Yes. That's great. Well, in closing, is there anything that you would like to add or share that I haven't asked you yet? 

No, I, I, I love what you guys are doing. I Believe Big, we help people daily.

I feel like a weekly, at least from Believe Big. And I, um, just love that every single person that has come over has already felt cared for from your group. And so. Just wanna say thank you for what you guys are doing. You're, you're making a difference. You know, I see a lot of foundations thankful for all of 'em.

They all have different missions and focuses, but it is so refreshing to have an organization that will think outside the box with you because the box is just too small. And it's, and we don't have time to wait 10 years for the things to be put in the box, right? So I am so grateful for organizations like yours and other foundations that have done similar things for my son that had made a way when there was no way.

Um, and so thank you, you know, for what y'all are. 

And thank you. Thank you for being that support to so many individuals who are feeling at the end of their ropes and not knowing how they're gonna proceed. Now they do. Now they have peace. Now they have a pathway, a pathway to healing that. You know, one of the things we always say is, when you're in a point of stress, your body can't heal.

And so financial stress is real. And so by that being alleviated and relieved, you're also helping people to heal. So thank you for providing that tool for them, and thank you for being on with us today. 

Yeah, my pleasure.

 If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support our podcast, please subscribe and share it with others. Be sure to visit believebig.org to access the show notes and discover our bonus content. Thanks again and keep Believing Big!