What I wish I'd known about getting pregnant

Join me, Hannah Eriksen, as I share my/our unique path to parenthood. From debunking fertility myths to unveiling surprising lifestyle tweaks, this episode reveals the meandering story of how we welcomed our son, Sebastian. Wanna be nosy about the highs, lows, and miracle of our journey? Grab a cuppa and listen in on our story.

TIMESTAMPS

[00:00] Starting Out: Sharing our journey and lifestyle changes for fertility
[02:42] Clearing Myths: Correcting misconceptions, introducing cycle tracking
[05:27] Lifestyle Tweaks: Diet and exercise impact on my menstrual cycle
[00:07:48] Matt's Role: Addressing low sperm count, and stress reduction
[09:29] Divine Surprise: Bet you didn't see this coming
[11:21] Birth Experience: My pregnancy, Seb's birth and some post-birth reflections


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Transcript

Hannah's Take: How Yours Truly Got Pregnant

[00:00:00] It's story time. I'm sharing how my husband and I worked through our own fertility issues and got our wee man, Sebastian. By the end of this episode, you'll know me better. Uh, perhaps in ways you hadn't bargained for and how lifestyle tweaks boosted both mine and my partners, fertility. 

[00:00:18] You're listening to the I'm thinking of having a baby podcast. I'm your host Hannah Eriksen, and I'm thrilled you're taking the time for yourself to learn how you can enhance your fertility and give your family the best chance at being as healthy as possible. 

[00:00:33] I own Oh Goodness! Nutrition, we're fertility dieticians, who use food as our superpower to get your hormones on track and help get you your dream family faster. 

[00:00:44] I'm going to assume you're like me. With a little niggle at the back of your mind, wondering how long it will take you to get pregnant. You've heard stories and wonder if you'll be the one walking down struggle street. Until you start trying, of course it's [00:01:00] anybody's guess. And it's an easy thought to push away. 

[00:01:03] I had so hoped it would be immediate for me. I feel there is some unspoken triumph award handed out among women who get pregnant immediately. And those who don't can feel a lot of things. Shame, anxiety, confusion, jealousy mega disappointment. Wherever you're at on the journey: if you haven't started trying yet, or, if you've been at it for many years, I'm just going to encourage you. I want you to release yourself from holding onto the belief that there is, or will be something wrong with you. You are stunning. Such an asset to the world and your body is your biggest ally. Give it permission to be what it will be, because it has many, many things to teach you. 

[00:01:51] All right. That's so many feelings. I'll park them for now. And here we go. 

[00:01:55] If my family is anything to go by, I should be ridiculously [00:02:00] fertile. I'm the middle of three girls and both sisters got pregnant quite unintentionally the first time round. Oops. And then they just kept having them. I have five nieces and nephews. And my mum also, no worries there conceiving us three girls. 

[00:02:15] So at the age of 31, Matt, my husband and I, decided to start trying for our own kids. And I had all kinds of ideas about how to get pregnant. And it turns out I was pretty much wrong on all counts. My biggest faux par was that I thought you could get pregnant at any time across your cycle. Nope. Turns out, there's a very specific window of time when an egg is released. And for me, that egg window was a moving target. 

[00:02:42] I'd always had variable periods. Some 49 days, some 25 days, mostly though around the 36 day mark. In order to catch that moving target we began having sex every second day across my cycle. Talk about exhausting. There was [00:03:00] very little romance in it and actually we didn't last long trying that method. 

[00:03:04] On that note. My next episode, we're going to chat about how often you should have sex. Cause we're all about efficiency here. And the frequency of sex can significantly affect the quality of sperm. So definitely staying tuned for that one dropping. 

[00:03:18] So then we tried timing it for ovulation once I figured out there was a specific time I could ovulate. But in order to do that, I had to be tracking it. So this was about six months into trying. And when I think back, I'm just like, wow, I definitely wasted my time. And a lot of the work I do with clients now is helping them save every month so that they don't go through what I went through. I had an ovulation test kit for one of those months, but it didn't seem to work. And because they're so darn expensive, I didn't want to keep forking out for them each month. Instead I researched and got my head into the symptothermal method of cycle tracking. And I got to say, I freaking love it because unlike those ovulation tests [00:04:00] kits not only does this method tell you when you're ovulating but you can also prove the fact that you have ovulated. 

[00:04:09] And this method gave me so much more insight into my cycle and I felt like I was learning heaps about my body. It was so empowering. This method of cycle tracking is as a result, woven into my practice. I'm often coaching women on this. As a side note, it's a perfect topic for my 15 minute quick fix call, just to kind of get you equipped and off on your way so that you're not wasting any time. 

[00:04:33] I tracked when my period started. How long I bled for, I tracked my cervical mucus and my basal body temperature, putting them all into my favorite cycle tracking app that creates a graph. Ah, so I could see the full picture over the month. And this fertility awareness method that I mentioned the symptothermal method, I am such a champion of because not only does it empower the woman, but it gives specialists like myself as a dietician, GPs, and other [00:05:00] specialists who are interested in restorative reproductive medicine. It gives them insight into what any underlying problems are. 

[00:05:06] I'd also changed my diet to include plenty of vegetables, whole grains and dairy, because all of these are shown to boost the fertility odds, and I decrease my caffeine and had zero alcohol. I was taking iodine and folic acid daily from my GP, but nothing else. Around this time I got back into a regular gym routine. 

[00:05:27] I've always loved working out, but this time round, I was doing high intensity training plus resistance work about four times a week. My diet hadn't changed too much at this point. Um, a dietitian tends to eat well, but I noticed a regularity in my periods since joining the gym. And I thought that was so interesting. My periods have been wonky. I joined the gym and all of a sudden they seem to be coming like at the beginning of every month, this was weird. 

[00:05:52] And I've never been diagnosed with PCOS or polycystic ovarian syndrome. Though I definitely have investigated. I feel [00:06:00] like I may have subclinical PCO S and any insulin resistance than I might've had was dealt with in that regular exercising, which meant that my periods became predictable. Which was a blew my mind, honestly. 

[00:06:12] And I've gone into detail about which exercise is best for beating insulin resistance in an early episode, the season, if you're interested in that. 

[00:06:18] So with Matt and I, at this point, we were having timed sex around ovulation. My periods were regular. I'd gone to the GP and gotten my battery of tests. And for the most part, they were normal. I did have a random high prolactin level once, but I got retested and it came back normal. 

[00:06:37] So, if you are at the stage of getting your GP involved, like you're thinking about having a baby or you haven't already seen your GP to let them know that you are trying, I have a checklist of tests for you to get done. And the link is in the show notes. So definitely snaffled that. 

[00:06:51] Then I got Matt to test his sperm and it turned out ha he had low sperm count, and they weren't [00:07:00] swimming very well. Now that I'd gotten to work on myself, I turned my focus to boosting the spermies that would be my future child, poor Matt. He probably felt like I was a little bit intense, but I was learning so much about how lifestyle could impact, not just my eggs, but his sperm. And I just had to try. 

[00:07:18] Because as all of this was going on I was undergoing extra training to specialize as a fertility dietician. I'd been seeing clients for years, helping them with all manner of things, particularly weight loss, hormones, and the psychology of eating. And I loved it. I truly, truly loved it. And I still do. But fertility nutrition sang out to me in a way that I'd not experienced before and probably because of my own personal journey through that, it kind of gave it a whole new layer of meaning to my work. 

[00:07:48] I put some of the training into practice so that the hacks I'd learned and I sorted Matt out with some supplements in addition to reducing his alcohol, caffeine and helping him reduce the stress levels. Uh, his work at the [00:08:00] time was full on and he was very stressed and we, in hindsight, I feel like that was a big part of it. 

[00:08:06] I also added to my supplements with some omega three and vitamin D. Because analyzing my own diet, I knew I wasn't getting enough. So I dosed accordingly. The months went on and whenever I'd pee on a stick, it would always be negative. And I couldn't explain why I was gutted. People, especially my mum, I would ask how it was going and inside a black. raaah, but I would choose to keep everyone up to date. I, I like being transparent like that. I definitely want people to know my struggles. Partly because then it's a burden shared, but I also meet too many people who don't talk about it. And look, they must have their good reasons. But part of it is shame. And by speaking out about our experiences, because trust me, they're so common. We create space for curiosity. Not shame. I get the privilege of sharing women's struggles to conceive. And honestly, it is a [00:09:00] sacred time and a sacred treasure. Speaking of sacred. There's another part of our conception story that some of you might find unusual. 

[00:09:08] To us though, it's a demonstration of the miracle of life. We had done everything we possibly could. At that point, I was made painfully aware of my lack of control. And when you're in too deep. Pray. I asked God to help Matt and I have a baby. We had a couple of people pray for us at our church. 

[00:09:29] And I kid you not that very week, we conceived for the first time ever. I still reel from that answer to prayer. Because we can hope. We can want, we can do our part and life? It's still a true gift. That was very encouraging for me as I went through the first few weeks of pregnancy. I had some early spotting and went to my doctor to double check that the embryo wasn't going anywhere. 

[00:09:56] The anxiety and the vulnerability don't stop when you get [00:10:00] pregnant, it can actually intensify. But the way that Sebastian was given to us, help me put my anxiety in its place. It gave me perspective. And an ability to hold my hands open, so to speak. So it took us 12 months of trying to conceive and look, this is the worst part about it. They say that on average, it takes 12 months to have a baby. 

[00:10:23] And in practice, I notice that when we add on top of things like nutrition and lifestyle, it doesn't need to take that long. But if you have been trying for more than 12 months, Definitely, you need to have your GP on board because they can send a referral to a fertility specialist. 

[00:10:40] And if you're over 35 and have been trying for more than six months, You get that referral at least in New Zealand. And if you have been trying for even more than six months, you're like, what is happening? Please please please go and see a fertility dietician, get your team on board, just so that things don't have to take too long. 

[00:10:58] We got Matt's [00:11:00] sperm tested again, and it was three months from the last test. And honestly the results were mind blowing. The count had tripled. And many, many more were swimming in a forward direction. With what I knew, this is spot on. It takes three months for any lifestyle change to affect the quality of sperm and eggs too.. 

[00:11:21] So words to the wise, if you're thinking about having a baby, give yourself enough time to get this sorted and the more time preparing the better and the sooner things will, will shift. 

[00:11:33] My pregnancy was all things considered smooth sailing. I had a bit of nausea and vomiting, but by the 18th week of pregnancy, they were gone. I did experience insane light headedness, and many a time had to lie flat on my back to prevent myself from passing out. But that was kind of the worst of it all. And my birth was also an amazing experience. 

[00:11:56] It was COVID times. And I had planned to give birth at home so that I [00:12:00] could have more support people and not have the threat of Matt unable to be present. I labored at home, which was an experience like no other. Our bodies ladies, are so capable of birthing a baby. I felt at times, so at peace, so relaxed and chilled that my midwife asked me more than once if I was still having contractions. 

[00:12:21] The belief in myself and affirmations that I could do it as well as my team counting down from 60 each contraction got me to the point of pushing. And then I pushed for a very long time and nothing was shifting. So at this point, my uterus complained it was tired and things slowed right down. I'd gone through all of that labor to the point of pushing and pushed for a couple of hours and then nothing. I needed to go into hospital. The car ride, honestly, it was 10 minutes, but it wasn't fun at all. I saw a wheelchair being rolled out for me and I, it brought me to tears. I was tired and it was time for me to be taken care of. 

[00:12:58] By that point, [00:13:00] all the bliss endorphins propping me up had vanished and the contractions came back with a vengeance. I got an epidural, so I could rest a while. And it was the best thing ever. Holy moly. By the time we needed to get Sebastian out things that escalated to needing an episiotomy. And a ventouse delivery which is where like the vacuum suction pulls your baby out. I went from no intervention to full, but it was perfect. I met Sebastian for the first time. And I felt like I crossed over into this new world of what it meant to be a woman. 

[00:13:34] I'm often telling my pregnancy and postpartum clients, the importance of processing their birth. Very really does it go according to plan and it can be a source of trauma for a number of women. Telling and retelling the story of the birth with the intention of celebrating what happened that was good, can form positive associations in your brain, which helps speed up recovery and creates a closer bond with your baby. 

[00:13:57] And of course, focusing on your mental health is super critical [00:14:00] as a new mum. In part because your brain is undergoing structural changes and hormonal influences like you haven't seen since you were a tweenager. 

[00:14:10] So that's my story in all its glory. Um, quite the journey. And it's interesting to know that women who maybe get pregnant quickly, they can have horrific pregnancies. They can have postpartum depression. They can have real struggles with their kids later on. So it's like we all do carry our struggles at different phases and stages of our motherhood journey. And so just keep that in mind as well. It might be easy for some at one point and harder at another. 

[00:14:39] ​if you want to know more, get some support yourself or to diy things there are a few more stories you can mosey through through on my podcast here. You can head to my instagram at @ohgoodness_nutrition and give us a follow stay in touch drop me a line visit me at ognutrition.co.nz. Say hello i cannot wait to meet you. [00:15:00] I'm also on the hunt for feedback about this podcast. You've listened in and i want to know what you enjoyed hearing about And i really want to know what you'd like to know more about since you're taking time out of your day i really want to make sure that i'm dishing up what you're after.

[00:15:16] Catch you next time.