Let's get physical: how often should I have sex?

Join me as we uncover the secrets of baby-making timing and frequency. Curious about the impact of intimacy on sperm quality? From decoding fertility signs to finding that sweet spot for conception, this episode's got all the insights you need to supercharge your journey to parenthood. Let's make boosting your fertility a whole lot more fun!

TIMESTAMPS
[00:00] Why timing sex can save you a lot of effort
[00:25] Best time for conception explained
[01:00] Sperm need to arrive before your egg is released
[02:00] Cervical mucus and fertility signs
[05:00] Effect of abstinence on sperm - it swings both ways
[08:00] Frequency of sex & sperm quality. In summary, here's what you gotta know.

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Transcript

Let's get physical: how often should I have sex?

[00:00:00] Let's get physical, save your energy and learn what's the best time and frequency to have sex when trying for a baby. 

[00:00:08] I'm Hannah owner of Oh Goodness! Nutrition, a team of fertility dieticians, harnessing the goodness of food to get you pregnant faster. I'm from New Zealand, and I see women wanting to boost their baby making ability across Australasia. Isn't virtual amazing. 

[00:00:25] At the end of today's episode, you'll know how much sex is too much, when's the best time to have sex to increase the chance of conceiving and best of all, I'll save you from having to get yourself in the mood. Keep things fun instead of a chore. And keep you from exhaustion. I got you. 

[00:00:41] When I first started trying for a baby, I thought you could get pregnant at any point across your cycle. And I still meet women who think this is true, but you probably already know that women are fertile only during ovulation. The time when an egg is released from an ovary. 

[00:00:58] This typically happens in the [00:01:00] middle of your cycle. So say if you have a 28 day cycle, you would have two weeks before ovulation. So that's the weeks that you get your period and just after, and then two weeks after ovulation until your periods strikes again. Of course this length of time varies woman to woman. 

[00:01:16] You may have a longer cycle. Where the first half, the follicular phase, is more days so longer than 14. Though the second half or your luteal phase tends to be a constant 14 ish days. Um, and it actually quite important that it is that length. 

[00:01:32] In season one, I have an episode on tracking your cycle. So get amongst it. We cover how to do it, when to do it, what to do around it. Um, just so that you can get some clarity about when you are ovulating. I also have a quick fix call offer on the table. This is a service that I offer where in 15 minutes, you can get all of the info, the apps to use and all the how-to's on tracking your cycle and knowing when you ovulate. Just follow the links to my website in the show notes. 

[00:01:58] So It is [00:02:00] super relevant to know when you ovulate, because in the five days up to ovulation, this is the only time during your menstrual cycle when you're likely to conceive. The sperm also need to be waiting for the egg to arrive. Right. I just have pictures of like sperm and shining armor. Inside your uterus. So they're there waiting for the egg to be released. The sperm can live inside you for five days if the conditions are right. 

[00:02:28] But your released eggs can only stick around for about 12 to 24 hours. So you really do need to have the sperm there already. Unless you're like a ninja at ovulation tracking and you time that perfectly, but that's quite unlikely. So, what am I saying? First of all, you need to know when you ovulate. 

[00:02:46] Secondly, you need to have sex within those five days of ovulating- the window just prior to ovulation. Your body will give you the signs and the signals that it is gearing up to ovulate. And some women find that ovulation test [00:03:00] kits are helpful to pinpoint things in the same way. 

[00:03:05] Now what happens if you have sex outside that ovulation window? You'll probably have a great time. But those sperm won't be able to access your uterus through your cervix. the shop isn't open and the vag gets pretty inhospitable to sperm when it's not ovulating. So you may have noticed this: if you have sex outside those five days before ovulation, or when you're most fertile, you may see or feel more ejaculate coming on out after intercourse. That's because there's a roadblock. The cervix is closed and the cervical mucus being produced at that time as a tight matrix, which blocks the sperms from swimming and it creates an acidic environment, so they can't survive very long anyway. Poor little spermies. 

[00:03:47] So how often should you have sex now that you know when you ovulate. There is some advice out there to have sex every two days of your cycle, like the whole month. Whereas others would just say, okay, have sex once as long as [00:04:00] it's during ovulation. It's important to note though that the length of abstinence has an effect on the quality of the sperm being made both positively and negatively. Now by abstinence, I mean the time from one ejaculation to the next. 

[00:04:16] There are studies that have specifically looked at abstinence and its effect on sperm quality. And the longer the abstinence period the greater the sperm concentration, sperm volume and sperm protamination. That's a word. Uh, which is where the DNA of sperm is matured and it's tightly coiled up and this coiling is thought to protect the sperm DNA from damage. 

[00:04:44] The longer, the abstinence period, however, the worse the motility, the vitality and the rates of DNA fragmentation and mitochondrial damage. Now when they were looking at these durations if [00:05:00] you had sex less than every two days, that's a short duration. They looked at between two to five days and then a long duration was more than five days. 

[00:05:08] Let's unpack this because there's quite a bit of information here. 

[00:05:12] Sperm are made over two to three months. Towards the end of their development, they move into a storage unit called the epididymis and here they undergo final activation as it were making them fully functional. The longer the time between ejaculations the more sperm collect in the epididymis, and that's why the sperm concentration and the volume is greater the longer, the period of time between having sex. The length of time here also allows the sperm DNA to undergo protamination to protect its DNA. And we know that sperm that's spend less time in the epididymis are potentially more vulnerable to oxidative damage because their DNA isn't protected. 

[00:05:56] Oxidative damage is responsible for affecting the motility, the [00:06:00] vitality and the DNA fragmentation of sperm. And the longer they sit in the epididymis, the more exposure to reactive oxygen species, also known as ROS, from environmental effects and their body's own white blood cells. ROS can be controlled by the levels of antioxidants in the guy's body, and by protecting the testicles from environmental toxins or excessive heat. 

[00:06:22] There is some evidence that radiation from devices may also have an effect. And since the sperm are very sensitive to damage this damage can affect sperm function. The lame thing is that a general sperm analysis -that's where you look at like the count, the motility and volume cannot capture these functional changes. So everything might look normal on the surface, but the sperm are not normal and they are not doing their job, but you can't tell that from the test. And so those couples who are struggling to conceive or those with recurrent miscarriages, oftentimes the sperm, DNA quality, and therefore its function [00:07:00] is compromised. And the way to determine this is through a DNA fragmentation analysis. And this test is currently offered only through fertility specialists. And it's very expensive. So that would tell you how much the DNA of the sperm has been fragmented or broken apart and obviously broken apart DNA doesn't work very well. 

[00:07:20] Now of course diet can play a large role in protecting sperm by increasing the amount of antioxidants in the body. And vitamin C and vitamin E are two powerful ones and they have been shown to help improve the sperm DNA and reduce the amounts of DNA fragmentation. 

[00:07:37] The thing is they need to be taken at appropriate doses for at least three months before results are seen. So if you're thinking about this or you are having recurrent miscarriage, You know, it's giving the sperm a chance to be as whole and as fully functional as possible and the antioxidants can help there, but it does take a bit of time to see the change. 

[00:07:58] Look, I know this was a bit of a tangent. [00:08:00] I'm on the ROS the reactive oxygen species there, but it's a super-duper important point to understand. But getting back to how often should you have sex? So knowing that sex too often, or sex too infrequently, both have pretty major impacts on sperm quality. 

[00:08:16] You want to know what's the ideal length of time between sex sessions eh? So based on the evidence, if less than two days is too short and more than five days is too long, you're probably looking somewhere in the middle. There was obviously between the two and five day bracket that middle ground, there was still increased levels of damage to the longer you leave it, the more damage you'll find. 

[00:08:37] But if you think every three-ish days, it seems pretty reasonable. Two to three days. Enough time to let the sperm mature fully. But not too long to allow much degradation from sitting around in the epididymis. Obviously looking at supplementation can help make it more hospitable environment for the sperm as well. 

[00:08:54] So say if you have a five day window of ovulation having sex around twice in that time, [00:09:00] Would kind of be your minimum. And I know for us, my husband and I, we would have sex every couple of days from when my period ended to the time of ovulation. This was when we were trying for our first son. 

[00:09:11] But once I ovulated, honestly, we wouldn't touch each other again until the end of my next period, honestly, because if sexed-out was a thing, we had it. So find a suitable rhythm that works for you. You and your partner. If you feel that you're having it too often. Like, is there a chance that I could actually get pregnant now? 

[00:09:29] And if no, feel free to have a discussion with your partner about what you've heard today: that the ovulation window lasts for about five days on average. Making sure that you look for your signs to be sure. That the sperm can survive much longer than an egg. So having sex every two to three days during that time can mean there are sperm available. And there are enough of them that are healthy, mature, and fully functional. 

[00:09:52] Just to comment as well. I mentioned recurrent miscarriage early on. It's actually very common. And if you are experiencing [00:10:00] it or you do experience it in the future, it's awful. And I'll let you in on a little something. So we're currently trying for another baby. And i have experienced recurrent miscarriages. It sad, it's all kinds of horrible but let's say there are many things we can do and having a closer look at your man's diet and lifestyle can actually really help turn things around. Especially since in the case of recurrent miscarriage it's not uncommon for the man to have part responsibility for that. 

[00:10:27] Hey thanks a mil for listening to today's episode. i really hope it helps you in the Bedroom. If you have any comments or thoughts do let me know. You can email hannah@ognutrition.co.Nz or find and follow me on instagram at @ohgoodness_nutrition. For bookings or to stalk me more check out ognutrition.co.nz. Till next time!