After 2 Beers
After 2 Beers
#167 After 2 Beers: Cheesy Chaos, Chimpanzee Frenzy, and 'Ex-in-the-Box'
Can too much nacho cheese really turn a regular day into a disaster? And what's the deal with pet chimpanzees causing chaos? This week, join Dutch Dalton, Kimmy, and Puddin on the After Two Beers podcast as we unravel these wild tales and more. From a jaw-dropping story about a convenience store clerk and nacho cheese to a deadly oven explosion involving a hidden gun, we promise you won’t believe your ears. Plus, we reveal some shocking news about a stalker with a flair for the dramatic and a questionable plan involving a shipping box.
Are concert ticket prices proving the economy isn't as grim as it seems? And what do outrageous rumors about a vice presidential candidate and Haitian migrants tell us about today's media landscape? We'll break it all down, with a closer look at a disturbing shooting incident in Kentucky that you probably missed. Our discussion moves to the bizarre world of exotic pets, featuring insights from Eric Good’s HBO Max documentary "Chimp Crazy." You’ll laugh, gasp, and think twice about adopting that cute baby chimp you saw online.
Reflecting on the monumental events that have shaped our lives, we ponder the modern experiences that could define this generation. Could COVID-19 be their “where were you?” moment? We dive into the ethical dilemmas and hazards of keeping exotic pets, sharing heart-wrenching and sometimes grotesque stories of chimpanzees turned violent. Finally, we lighten the mood with some fun monkey mischief and remind everyone to check in on their loved ones, especially as the holiday season approaches. Buckle up for an emotional rollercoaster filled with humor, horror, and heartfelt moments on this episode of the After Two Beers podcast!
That's how people get arrested. That's how you start a podcast, right?
Speaker 2:there.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the After Two Beers podcast. I'm Dutch Dalton, joined as always by Kimmy and Puddin. Hey, that's me. Hey, we're doing these shows now every two weeks, so we greatly appreciate you guys stopping back in. Thanks again to our buddy, kevin Shook, who runs all the technical stuff. Him and AJ now. Yes, if it wasn't for those two, we wouldn't be on right now.
Speaker 2:Nope, no, I owe them everything. We'd still be sitting here trying to figure it out.
Speaker 1:I'd be like fuck it, we'll do it next week.
Speaker 2:We'll do it live.
Speaker 3:That's how we used to do it, we're.
Speaker 1:Coming up this week on the After Two Beers podcast. Gibbler looks like he's prepared to show us another amazing drink. Oh yeah that if you have some tequila sitting at the house and some juices, you'll be all set, you'll be, set. Nice, you got giblets. I got some giblets you have. Am I the asshole? Yeah, I do. All right, I've got some news story. I'm going to tell you why you don't want to take too much nacho cheese at a convenience store.
Speaker 2:What it happens to somebody and they're fighting for their life.
Speaker 1:There's too much, no shit, so there's a limit of how much you should take. Yeah, but apparently it fluctuates apparently but we won't talk about that. Is there a?
Speaker 3:chip per sauce ratio or what I don't know.
Speaker 1:I just know that cheese was too much. A big gulp of cheese is not a good thing. A big gulp right. No waste of juice. A gun safety tip story coming up and this is where not to store your guns you know if you're a responsible gun owner. And then, lastly, if you have ever gone through a bad relationship breakup and you've ended up with a stalker at the end of said relationship.
Speaker 3:I've got a stalker level 1,000 story.
Speaker 1:Oh nice, this is wild People go through crazy lengths to just show their love one last time, even though it's over. It's me love you, yes. Now, before we jump into all of that fun stuff and our story of the week, which we're going to talk about pets that are eating people not people that are eating pets, okay yeah.
Speaker 1:We don't do any of that political shit on here, but here's some of the stuff that my ADD brain thought about talking about this week and we're not going to discuss it, unless you guys want to, maybe in a further show. But there's a cult in Greenville, ohio, and I still am shocked that we haven't discussed this. Wow, I thought we had. I think we've loosely talked about the cult, uh-huh, but I mean, having a cult in your backyard is kind of an interesting, especially here in Richmond, right?
Speaker 2:We've got experience, mm-hmm, you know the leader of all leaders.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 3:Actually it was the largest like mass, yeah deal 900 and some people thanks to richmond indiana kool-aid yeah, and it wasn't kool-aid flavoring, it was flavoring, flavoring, right, they used to have the kool-aid they ran tests with kool-aid.
Speaker 1:Do you know this? No, there were times they would tell people they had to go drink it and they hadn't put the shit in it. They just wanted to see if people would do it yeah and they did it, and that they must have ran out of their Kool-Aid supply.
Speaker 3:But anyway, and there's a convenient Dollar General right there, I'm sure.
Speaker 1:We may talk about the fact that there is a cult in Greenville. I feel like we have to. Oh yeah, this is like an A to B history. We need to go back old school on the A to B history I wanted to talk about and maybe we still will. Everyone keeps talking about the presidential election that's coming up. Obviously, border security is something that people want to chat about, yeah. But the economy, oh yeah. But my question is is the economy that bad? When I heard that, uh, taylor swift is coming to indianapolis and the cheapest seat is two thousand dollars, oh yeah it's well.
Speaker 2:It's bad when you have to go to another country because it's cheaper.
Speaker 1:Well, my question is is the economy really that bad then?
Speaker 2:Well, what are they doing to get this money? Maybe for some, some people?
Speaker 1:Yeah, but anyway we're not going to discuss that.
Speaker 3:Credit card debt is a. Thing.
Speaker 1:Well, but it's still. You have access to the credit line, anyway. Yeah right, that's true. Anyway. Interesting Until you have access to the credit line. Anyway, that's true. Anyway, interesting story out of Kentucky this week. I actually totally missed. This is how wild our world is now.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:That this story doesn't go higher. There was a shooter that was on the side of a hill, I believe in Kentucky. Yeah, that was just popping people off on I-75.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you didn't hear about this, that's my point On I-75.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You didn't hear about this. That's my point. That's the country we live in now. I heard about it because there's a big thing about a semi blocking a school bus, so it wouldn't get shot.
Speaker 3:Oh, well, that was awesome of them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, shot like seven people, I think, or seven vehicles. Five people were injured. Jesus, yeah, we didn't even hear about it. The reason you didn't hear old shooter at a school this past week, and that was what was really talked about. Here's the wild part You're not allowed to buy one at 14 year old, at that age in that state. But you're allowed to own one as long as it's given to you.
Speaker 2:His father bought it for him.
Speaker 1:You're allowed to own it, you just can't buy it. It's like I didn't buy this weed.
Speaker 2:Somebody gave it to me. Somebody gave it to me.
Speaker 3:Their brains aren't developed at that age.
Speaker 2:Man, if I would have used that, when I got caught with alcohol Right, I didn't buy it. Somebody gave it to me.
Speaker 1:We're not going to chat about that, obviously because that is not for our show.
Speaker 1:Presidential debate was last night. I'm also not going to talk about that, obviously, because that is, yeah, it's not for our show. Uh, presidential debate was last night. I'm also not going to talk about that this week, for obvious reasons. Um, I love the fact, though, that our debate, that this country and I actually I'm not even going to go there, but I, uh, I love the fact that we've gotten to a point now where I've heard about a vice presidential candidate having sex with a couch, and it made news for a while, and now there's people that are just less than an hour away that apparently there's 20,000 Haitians that are eating pets. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, yes, they're not eating pets.
Speaker 1:That's a lot of people, that's a lot of pets, and there's only 60,000. Anyway, we're not going to talk about that either.
Speaker 2:What are these poor Chinese restaurants going to do?
Speaker 1:That's the thing Like oh man Right. And if you look at a map of the world, you don't come through the Mexican border from Haiti, haiti.
Speaker 3:Haiti.
Speaker 1:Haiti, haiti. They build boats. They're very resourceful.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:Like a lot of floating tubs and shit they can get here. Yeah, yeah, so it's anyway. We're not going to talk about that either. What we are going to talk about, yeah, what we got Is my favorite new like purge show on television.
Speaker 3:Oh what is it Okay?
Speaker 1:It's on, max. It's brought to you by the guy Eric Good, rick Good. He's the director and writer that made Tiger King.
Speaker 3:Oh, this has got to be good.
Speaker 1:This is the gentleman that entertained us during COVID. Yes, and brought us the Tiger King himself and Carole Baskins. Nice, you got to love on it. Well, anyways, he's got a new show out. It's called Chimp Crazy.
Speaker 2:Chimp Crazy. I've heard of it and haven't seen anything about it. Yes, I haven't either.
Speaker 1:It's on the Max.
Speaker 3:Are you guys getting?
Speaker 1:feedback.
Speaker 3:Nope, no.
Speaker 1:No, I'll be all right, told you to lay off. It's probably the alcohol, but anyway, we're going to talk about Chimp Crazy. It's a documentary that's on HBO, the Max. Oh, whatchamacallit.
Speaker 3:Previously known as HBO.
Speaker 1:Streaming line and it's about people that have chimpanzees as pets.
Speaker 3:Sounds like a great idea.
Speaker 1:No, it's a horrible idea.
Speaker 3:We're going to tell you why coming up.
Speaker 1:So anyway, that's what we got this week on After 2 Beers, if you haven't watched the show before. Basically, it is stuff that you would sit around and talk with your friends, family with at a bonfire, maybe at a family function. You're just hanging out and really what we're trying to be once a week or once every two weeks is just a distraction. Yeah, you know the one thing and I don't want to harp on this too long and I'll get both of your feedback on this but I was looking at Facebook last night and I don't care who you want to vote for.
Speaker 1:At the end of the day we're all going to be countrymen. Hey, yeah, you know, we got to live with each other. When it's all said and done, there's a lot of people and this is on both sides, so I'm not trying to hate. Well, it's people that I respect, that I'm like man. You shouldn't talk like that right?
Speaker 1:yeah, not on the internet man, like I get that, that's how you feel, but you got to learn to reel it in a little bit right, and so you know we're not going to talk about that, obviously, anyway, but it was an interesting night on Facebook and thanks to the debate itself, and we just want to be an escape from that, so we want to bring you here have a drink. Have a drink with us, hang out, chill.
Speaker 2:Can you believe that shit? Can you believe it Right? A lot of those kinds of moments, a lot of those conversations.
Speaker 1:And I will say one thing. That was anniversary and what's unique about that moment for a lot of us is I'm 46 years old now and it is one of the most seared. Where were you moments in my personal brain? You know, I know exactly where I was at work. I worked at Belden, then in inside sales. I still remember we had a administrative assistant that walked around and informed everybody that a plane had hit the building the first time and I assumed that it was just like a personal plane.
Speaker 3:It just messed up.
Speaker 1:I mean it had happened in New York before. And then she came around later and said the second one had hit. And then and I'm a history nut anyway, and so I'm immediately pulled to that kind of thing and it's 23 years later. I still know exactly where I was at. And I'm curious for you two, outside of that moment, are there other? Where were you? Moments that you know Like this is going to sound cheesy and this is where we divert back to the afternoon and make it more fun.
Speaker 1:I know exactly where I was sitting when Todd Bensinger caught the ball in foul grounds in 1990, when the Reds swept the world series from the Oakland, I know I was in my mom and dad's house. I was 10 years old. I was sitting in my bedroom, I had a little 13 inch black and white television and that was another moment. Do you have, where were you moments in your life, princess dies stuff.
Speaker 3:Do you really yeah?
Speaker 1:Where were you at?
Speaker 3:I was with my mom, yeah, and we were just watching all of the stuff on it, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's crazy. Another one for you. Anything Challenger, do you really? Yeah, I thought about that one. I was in school.
Speaker 2:I was in school. I was in school, remember, because everybody was watching it on TV. Yeah, everybody's watching.
Speaker 3:and then all of a sudden, they're like, oh, oh, and they're like, oh, that's what we should probably be watching. Turn this off.
Speaker 1:I was at Baxter Elementary School and they had all of us come into our gymnasium, which was also our lunchroom, and I remember they wheeled down to the big. You know, yeah and uh, I do remember watching it, but I remember being young enough that maybe it just didn't resonate with me what had happened right, because I don't recall anything traumatic about it, or maybe that we were just wired that way.
Speaker 3:They rolled that card in and you thought that you had a substitute teacher I knew where I was when uh dylan hart died do.
Speaker 2:Okay, I do, I actually yeah, yeah, it was a ball state yeah yeah, it's in a dorm room watching it that's crazy, yeah, yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 1:Those those kinds of moments and I think about. You know, there's a lot of my my son, as an example, my daughter as well. They're both, uh, under the age of 23, so they weren't around for this event. So I'm curious, curious, like what is their? You know, where were you at moment? And they've had some.
Speaker 3:Maybe it was COVID, yeah right, COVID will definitely be something that's yeah, or maybe you want one specific.
Speaker 1:Anyway it's. I just want to say that you know 9-11 is. It's ironic to me that we had the debate last night and everyone is so divided within this country. And it happens. It's not unique to this time. Everybody wants to say that, but I promise you, during the 1860s, this country 1850s, 60s this wasn't a very united country. No at all. But I think back to 9-11, and the one thing I do remember is how, even then, president Bush and Mayor Giuliani people came together as a country. And that's the one thing I'll caution everybody on is you sit there and you can say whatever you want to say on social media, but at the end of this whole thing, 45% of the nation, one way or the other, is going to be upset and you have to live with these people and you've got to do commerce with them and you've got to have um external relationships outside the home with these people, and you've got to remember that you're setting ourself up for a world of hurt.
Speaker 1:You know like you can anyway, that's all I'm going to say on that. All right, yeah, all right let's have some fun. Yeah, all right, I think I handled that okay, you did. Yeah, I like it. All right, you guys ready to give a little? Show us your drink here. All right, what do we got?
Speaker 3:this week, you know, I mean the temperatures were getting a little bit chilly, which show you how to make a apple cider margarita Nice. So I already pre-iced the shaker.
Speaker 1:So what do we need for this drink if people are at home watching?
Speaker 3:Tequila, apple cider, and because people don't normally drink triple sec, you can just do a little extra tequila and use orange juice instead. Because it's just an orange liqueur. So what?
Speaker 1:is in it. What do we got?
Speaker 3:We got some tequila. We're going to do a couple shots of it.
Speaker 1:All right, and again, if you guys show up with us, we'll make these for you as well. Send us a drink.
Speaker 2:Send us something we should try this fall.
Speaker 1:Do you guys want to try these in there? And because we're no, sissy, we're going to add a little extra.
Speaker 3:Boop, boop. All right. What's your tequila of choice? Today we have the Jose Cuervo Espacio.
Speaker 1:It's a blue agave. This is the coolest cooking show I've ever seen.
Speaker 2:All right, glug, glug, glug.
Speaker 1:All right, and we're going to do a shot of so it's one shot of tequila Nope no two.
Speaker 3:Two. I do two and a half and then do a shot of orange juice.
Speaker 1:So this is for one drink. Two and a half shots, yep, all right.
Speaker 3:The orange juice is just for color, and then you're going to do about a half a shot to a shot of lime. Kind of depends on how much you want to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this will also prevent scurvy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it will and you won't remember if you have it anyway.
Speaker 3:That's right.
Speaker 1:What do they have for the lime trees that are squeezable like that, with the cool little lid on? I know plastic.
Speaker 3:I mean, obviously I was not buying real limes and cutting them up up in here, so there we go, that'll be good. And then I'm trying to remember exactly how much of the apple cider. I feel like it's eight ounces maybe.
Speaker 1:You know, when I get in a good bender trying new drinks, I make sure to measure out everything precisely.
Speaker 3:No, you're just like, I'm going to put a little bit of this, a little bit of that.
Speaker 2:Oh no, no, it's never like that, it's the taste.
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh, I got chasers Random chasers, if that one's a little too strong.
Speaker 2:We just take a little.
Speaker 1:Alright, so we have Two shot.
Speaker 3:We've got two and a half shots Of tequila and a shot of orange juice.
Speaker 1:We've got a shot of orange juice and a half a shot of lime, yep, and then we have we're going to do four to five shots of apple cider, okay. So it's approximately half apple cider.
Speaker 3:So it's about eight ounces of apple cider. So these are like one and a half ounce shots.
Speaker 2:Nice, there we go so precise.
Speaker 3:It's like cooking you just mix with your heart.
Speaker 2:Right? Well, in that case you can put some more tequila in it, I know right, I mean, we can.
Speaker 1:What's up with all that juice?
Speaker 3:All right, and obviously, if you wanted to spice it up and put cinnamon stick in it or some apple slices or something.
Speaker 2:I definitely would. You know whatever Trying to get drunk, I don't need no fruit.
Speaker 3:All right, let's serve them up.
Speaker 2:Ooh, looks good. Thank you, let's hope it looks good.
Speaker 3:Thank you, let's hope it tastes good.
Speaker 2:Got to give it the old sniff test. Oh, it smells like alcohol.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you that much. Yeah, that definitely smells like alcohol. Jp, you want one of these Nick?
Speaker 2:All right, we got a couple guys going to try it with us. All right, we've got a couple guys going to try it with us. All right, get your drinks.
Speaker 3:All righty, cheers, cheers. Have you tried these, yet Not yet, not at all. Not at all.
Speaker 1:Here we go.
Speaker 3:Hopefully it's better than that Tootsie Roll thing I did.
Speaker 1:Wow, there's no taste of alcohol in it.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:You get the hint of flavor of tequila, but there's like no burn it cuts it.
Speaker 2:It definitely cuts it.
Speaker 3:Wow that might be dangerous.
Speaker 1:On a scale of 1 to 10,.
Speaker 3:Those could be dangerous.
Speaker 2:That's a 10. That's a 10. Holy shit, that was pretty dang good. It definitely cuts the tequila out. You don't taste the tequila at all.
Speaker 1:Not at all. Wow, oh, there you go, folks.
Speaker 3:There you go. Wow, now your new fall face.
Speaker 1:All right, that one's recommended to you. All right you ready to get into the dealio here.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Let's do it All right. We're going to talk about Chimp Crazy. As I mentioned, it was brought to us by Eric Good, the Tiger King, and really what we're going to specifically talk about is there's an individual in the show, the documentary. There's three episodes that have been released. I think there's four for sure, maybe a fifth, but they're coming up, so these are still being released and so far, aj and I have watched three of these and it really comes down to that.
Speaker 3:These are individuals that adopt baby chimpanzees or they buy them from a breeder, which, here in in the country, you can buy chimpanzees really yeah, and uh people will spend 40 to 60 thousand dollars I was getting ready to say I wonder how much they are on a baby chimp right and apparently the first four or five years you're golden.
Speaker 1:It's like a puppy. You know, puppies are great until they get bigger, right, and then they become dogs, and dogs are different. People don't look at puppies and dogs the same way.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:I hate to say it, but you know like I'll give you an, I'll use you as a perfect example, right? Okay, you have a new puppy and the last week or so you've taken that dog everywhere. The other dogs are at home going well, goddammit we were here first.
Speaker 2:I like a good car ride.
Speaker 1:I've never seen the studio.
Speaker 3:You've never taken me golfing down off the couch, goes over to the the cage and just goes rough right at her like shut up. Well, maybe our teacher right separation.
Speaker 1:Anxiety is way better when you're not there to hear it. Yeah oh yeah. Now you have installed a new device in your mind where you've got to look on your security cameras just to make sure the dog's still crying.
Speaker 3:No, I'm hoping that she's not crying, but she was.
Speaker 1:And so then you're like oh, I've got to go home.
Speaker 3:No, I've got to bring her with me.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:And that's why it was easier with Melvin is because I was working from home, so there wasn't as much, but you guys have a new technique that I am not familiar with, did you? Do this with Melvin.
Speaker 1:It's called puppy duty and this is where you guys want to crate train the dog, but you can't crate train it because of the crying, so you take turns sleeping on the couch with the dog.
Speaker 3:Yeah, hey, I'm not telling you how to raise your kids I am I'm not, you're right, I'm not saying.
Speaker 1:What I'm trying to prove, ultimately, is that people have a strong, profound love for pets, right, right, regardless of what the pet is. Yes, I don't understand it. There are snake people in this world.
Speaker 2:I don't understand snakes or spider people, oh.
Speaker 1:The weirdest one Do you ever see like videos where they'll have a 12 foot python or boa? Yeah, and they'll have an infant? Oh yeah, like you're hanging out with and you're like you know that thing looks at that as a meal the more it's hungry. It's a freaking snack, you know. It hasn't developed a warm relationship to human beings, and so, regardless, that's what's happening with these chimpanzees. So, basically, what you're finding out is people are adopting these things and they keep them in their house, and not knowing what they're getting into oh, no, no, they.
Speaker 1:And here's like you look at them when they're little, and same thing with a dog. They've got the most beautiful, captivating eyes and you look at them and you're like this thing can see to my soul and it's a lot of.
Speaker 2:It's a lot.
Speaker 1:This thing's plotting to kill me, and it's a lot of lonely people too, and people that really just you know, like the one lady was a um, you'll hear about her if you watch. You got to watch this okay I might definitely.
Speaker 1:Her name is tanya haddix and she was married at 19 years old. You could tell that she came from a very, and her husband basically told her you had to stay at home. Oh, okay, you can't do nothing. Okay, and I'm not trying to give all that shit away, but she had a lot of foster kids and things like that, and so those kids would move on, and you can see that this woman is fighting her own separation anxiety with human beings, and so she finds this chimp that you can lock in a cage and make stay at home. But to me it's what it comes down to. I'd love to get Amanda's opinion on it too. Yeah, but regardless, it's exactly what you said, puddin, and it's that these people realize what they're getting into. These things are 200 pounds stronger than human beings yeah, you want to rip your arms off literally and beat you with them.
Speaker 1:Yes, and then proceed to be right and so this whole documentary is basically about this this community of individuals that have pit champ, pet champions. What do they have. Hey man, it's a tequila drink, nothing else. That was the first drink.
Speaker 3:Blame it on me.
Speaker 1:Anyway. So they show this one. Oh my God, that's my buddy. You have a pet chimp.
Speaker 4:No, but I know who does. I'm going to go celebrate You're local. Over in Greensburg. That's pretty close. His name's Toby. He's 29. He'll be 30 Friday. I'm going to go see him.
Speaker 1:And he lives at an individual's home. The guy or the champ.
Speaker 4:He grew up in his house until he was about six or seven.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, this is fascinating. Yeah, can you get him on the show, not the champ, if we go do it there.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I pull on his tongue.
Speaker 1:You may come back looking different next time, you never know. So here's the story about these things, right? So a lot of these individuals they have a chimp, and I'm assuming chimpanzees are pretty similar to dogs where they have one person, it seems like it becomes their owner, right, yeah, attached to, and then, aside from that, they're on their own. Now these chimps are fucking crazy in real life. Yeah, like they. Uh, they eat babies just because they're hungry, like a male will get another and eat it yeah, like they eat other, like baby chimpanzees.
Speaker 3:Yes, okay, yes, I'm like who's feeding their baby.
Speaker 1:No, there was a story that I read about in from zookeepers because Indianapolis the Indy Zoo has I think they have 21 or so chimpanzees now.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:OK, and they're all over the place and AJ and I were there about a month ago and they had this little room you walk in and one of them was just sleeping behind the glass. Ok, like, like us looking at it right there Right.
Speaker 1:And I'm looking at this thing going, this thing could rip my face off right now if this glass wasn't here. Right, right, not that the tiger couldn't either, the other I saw, but you look at them and you can see the similarities between how they engage in certain things. They're really smart animals, right, absolutely, but they're crazy. And the fact that kevin is going it and I'm a little fearful for you.
Speaker 4:So he was, he's like. So when I paramedic over there, I heard about him growing up on that farm and so I stopped and the guy introduced myself to the guy and, uh, he's, he's raised him since he was born and, um, he's actually more human than most humans. He'll eat with a spoon. I'll give him a spoon and some yogurt and he'll. He'll eat with a spoon.
Speaker 1:I've seen most humans eat with a spoon, though he's just he's just like a more etiquette, but he'll get he's not licking the container.
Speaker 4:And I know there's like a lot of risk. Like obviously some lady got her face ripped off by literally, yeah, literally ripped her face off. But her face ripped off by, literally yeah, literally ripped her face off. But in my mind it's like I could get shot walking around washington square mall, that's so. It's kind of like if I'm gonna die, if I'm gonna get killed, it's gonna be by like I'm gonna wrestle in a chimp I'm gonna eat yogurt with a chip you're right struggle with that logic I think if your logic was more of like I'll just swim with the sharks and see what happens Then I would.
Speaker 4:No, no, I mean, it's the same. It's the same thing. Yeah, no, not really. I can't swim, though, but he's no, he literally. I'll walk in and he'll do this like acts, like a three-year-old on meth type thing, and he'll bounce around from wall to wall to wall to wall.
Speaker 3:I'm so excited.
Speaker 4:I'm so excited, oh yeah yeah, yeah, and then, and then I'll give him probably about three, four minutes and then I'll just yell at him and he'll stop, and he'll sit down and I'll go get his.
Speaker 2:You'll yell at him. Yeah, yeah, toby. Now how big is he? Oh?
Speaker 4:hey, I'll send you have pictures of him. We put a paramedic uniform on him and everything.
Speaker 1:Oh no.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Can you share?
Speaker 1:some with us. Oh wow, yeah. So, anyway, they talk about these chimps. So another example was I read from a zoo that one of them had given birth to a baby and it didn't make it and they had to shut the chimpanzee exhibit down for like a week and they told people it was because the chimps were going through like postpartum kind of like that kind of thing.
Speaker 3:No, they had to clean up all the carnage.
Speaker 1:They played with it, oh no, for a week. They're just tossing it around and they didn't want human beings to be like, hey, I think they're tossing a dead baby, that's what they were doing. So, anyway, the stories that comes out and these aren't part of the podcast or the, uh, the documentary, but these are, uh, an examples of the one that, um, kevin just referred to lady had a pet chimp. She had it for years and they get older, they become more of a distraction. They're not young, yeah Right, aggressive, and so they escape. And so this chimp had escaped and went out into like a public street, so like where you live, okay, yeah, and you're that little suburb. It's out and as people are walking down the street, it's walking up and spanking people, oh right. And they find it was out there for like two hours in the middle of this intersection and they finally got it back into the car by offering him ice cream, right, but there's nothing they could. It's 200 pounds, like Kevin said, and they're strong as hell.
Speaker 4:He got out, once Toby got out, once Yep, he got out, and so obviously the owner called the cops and was like hey, he's still a wild animal. If you have to shoot him, shoot him, you know if he goes after somebody or something, because he could play with somebody and kill them and not mean to. Not mean to.
Speaker 1:So they didn't even respond. He's like I pull on his tongue. I do.
Speaker 4:Oh, I do, I do, bro, I trust. I trust Toby more than any ex that I've ever dated. You know what I mean, I know.
Speaker 3:Well, I mean they're an ex because you're pulling on their tongue.
Speaker 4:Well, I wanted to be a little longer, it was weird when he's like like throw some feces at me shit, learn how to do it. So he found him walking up the road and cause he was scared, shitless, cause he was out, of his.
Speaker 3:He was out of his thing found him walking up the road.
Speaker 4:so he just opened the door and he got in, sat down and went right back and was like thankful to be back and his little enclosure and his little Inclusion, yeah, wow.
Speaker 3:Turn left.
Speaker 2:Claude, Right turn Claude, Right turn Claude.
Speaker 1:Oh, those fucking orangutans are even bigger. Well, anyway, the story is, this woman had this chimp and she obviously couldn't control it Right, and she had a friend that had grown up with the chimp as well, and that's the thing. These things live to be like 60 years old.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:They 60 years old.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they live forever. They might not live you yeah.
Speaker 1:Well that's the yeah.
Speaker 3:And that's when they go crazy.
Speaker 1:Sometimes they do it, yeah, even when you're not going like well anyway. So this lady has this chimp and she tells she's going to go meet a friend of hers and she's like I'm having trouble with this guy, I can't remember this chimp. Back in she's like, yeah, and now this chimp apparently liked elmo, okay, and so they had taken an elmo doll over and apparently it set this chimp off, oh no, and it literally ripped her face off. It ripped out both of her eyes, ripped off her face ripped off her lower jaw.
Speaker 1:it was so bad that the people that responded like the ems that they had to go through therapy afterwards because of what they had saw. And this lady lived and he was eating her. Like you'll hear the 911 call on the documentary and he's like my chimpanzee killed my friend. He's eating her, oh no. These things have mouth, like Kevin can attest to this. They have canines on them like a fucking dog, like a big mouth? These aren't, and so these are people that are keeping these things as pets.
Speaker 2:I need to check this show out. I'm checking it out tonight.
Speaker 3:And I'm going to teach you about eyeballs.
Speaker 1:Oh my God.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:It's crazy. And this one lady that breed did these things. She had up to 40 of these things at her house at one time. And what happens? And I can't speak to kevin's buddy here but when they get older, like the first five or six years, you can take them out in the community.
Speaker 1:People love them, they're all friendly and all that kind of stuff he's like I can't wait to rip this dude's face off and hand it to him but uh, once they get older they can't really control them, so they lock them in a cage well, I'm sure they go through hormonal changes, just like everything. They're locked in prison, yeah, and they can't go anywhere, but they're smart enough to like even a dog. You'll at least get it out and play with it and run around with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sleep on the couch when it's a baby, yeah.
Speaker 1:You know you take care of a dog Because of the size of these things and how dangerous they are.
Speaker 2:You have no idea. You just got of these things and how dangerous they are. You have no idea. You just gotta lock it away and leave it and then they get go crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so in that case there, uh, they had to call the police, the police come and the police officer said, just like kevin did, he's like I grew up with that thing. It was around all the time. They took it to restaurants. It would sit there at the table and eat dinner with you.
Speaker 1:Yeah and uh, he goes. It had been on my shoulder all this time. He goes. He runs up to my car and he goes. They're so strong and he's moving my car. Yeah, and he runs to the other side, rip the door off the car and he goes. It looked at me and he said to it like he goes, I'm gonna tell you he couldn't talk. Obviously he's an ape, but he goes. I felt him say will you please end it?
Speaker 1:yeah, and he goes it's just staring at me, growling at me, right, because I shot it four times and turned around and ran back into the house. Holy shit, and it passed inside the house, right. And there's another story where a lady had one of these and she was getting older and she asked her daughter to move in with her to help her, and the rule was you had to make sure you locked the cage before you know yeah, because yeah, anybody came over and locked the cage holy and it went down there and took bites out of her, like in her legs and torso, and nobody got charged.
Speaker 1:And both that exact, and I'll show you that one. On there too, they had to shoot the thing in the skull multiple times. Oh wow, they dropped it once. I think because they shot it in the head, wow, but the thing, these are people that are keeping these things as pets, man, and it's wild to me. And so, anyways, there's a lady in there, tanya Haddix, who makes the story even that much better because she is she's a character.
Speaker 1:She is a character, oh nice, she makes Carol Baskins look. At least Carol does. I'm just going to tell you this one story. Okay, and if this doesn't convince you, you don't see it. It's just a story they share. So if this doesn't convince you to watch this documentary, I don't know what will. But these people are so fanatical about these animals and maybe you would do this now with that puppy. I don't know, but she had just had birth and they also adopted a baby that had been neglected by the mother. Okay, she's breastfeeding both the baby and the chimp at the same time. What?
Speaker 2:I'm on it. Right, we got to watch that now.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, what I'm on it. Right, we gotta watch that now, oh my god. And then they showed it. They were watching this video where this chimp's going crazy and like smashing shit with bones and and the chimp is jumping up around. They got it on a leash and I'm like you think that leash means shit to that 200 pound gorilla that leash or chimpanzee. Anyway, you gotta watch it. It's called chimp crazy, definitely on the max. Uh, I'm. They should send me a t-shirt or something.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, I'm definitely going to check that out. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:It's crazy. It makes me feel different about people that have pet birds, Except here's my problem with pet birds Kevin's got him a bird. Here's my tangent on pet birds they live for like 70. Yeah, what happens when you die? And it's still got 30 years to go? I think that's why dogs and cats work, because they don't live that long.
Speaker 4:Find After 2 Beers on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and Buzzsprout, or visit After2Beerscom for all the latest episodes Now back to the show.
Speaker 2:She had ripped the tags off, but whatever. Anyway, went to a community pool with my roommate, wore a bikini, got in the water, roommate immediate was like um girl, and I look and see that the bikini is now kind of see-through oh, it's a good joke it's see-through. Haha, when it gets wet, it's see-through ah good joke, mandy.
Speaker 2:Anyway, mandy invited me over to her place to hang out with her and her boyfriend and a few others mostly. Even we're still hanging out and I'm like, hey, what if we get in your hot tub? I go change after them and meet her and her boyfriend in the hot tub. She gets into a few new drinks. I hop in immediately. He looks at my chest and pretends I didn't notice, or I pretend I didn't notice and just make small talk. She comes out a few minutes later and just looks in shock, eventually gets in after a minute and just goes hey is that the one I bought you and she goes, yeah, I
Speaker 2:love it, I wear it everywhere, Make up some stuff about how I wore it to a beach, some party with a lot of guys, et cetera. She's like, oh, we were in the tub, the hot tub, for about 20-30 minutes. Eventually get out and change. She approached me after and was like um, I'm sorry, I thought you noticed, but it goes kind of see-through. I'm like yeah, I know, Why'd you buy me a fucking see-through bathing suit? She's like wait, you knew, so you just spent the last 30 minutes flashing my boyfriend.
Speaker 4:I reply I'm just wearing my birthday gift.
Speaker 2:Am I the asshole yeah?
Speaker 1:she is. I don't think that lady knew that it was actually see-through.
Speaker 2:Oh, she did. That's why she knew it was she did.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Something seems a little hokey about it.
Speaker 3:I think she was trying to teach her friend a lesson. I know that you may want, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Something seems a little hokey about it. I think she was trying to teach her friend a lesson. No, I don't know. I know that you may want to teach your friend a lesson, but that's not the way. But would it involve you showing your nipples to said anybody else for half an hour, just to teach her a lesson?
Speaker 3:I mean, I feel like she's kind of an asshole person.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm going to go on a limb and guess that these people are very open in life, which is right. More power to them. But, I think her friends and asshole too, yeah, but obviously it doesn't bother her or bother her that much.
Speaker 2:And they let it sit there. She let it go on for 30.
Speaker 1:Well, my point being is, like she might. If you have friends that are very open about a lot of things and you buy them a gift like that, that's fucking hilarious because you're open about it, cause you gotta be open enough If you know that you're going to go over and basically flash everybody in this hot tub. Yeah, just to be a dick.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm wearing it and I'll tell you this she likes her breasts because not just a woman. If it was a man's situation, you're not gonna go over and show off your nips unless you are proud of your nips, am I right, ladies?
Speaker 3:Yeah, probably.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she wanted those people to see her nips. Yeah, she did. She was being a dick back then and her probably like showing the boyfriend, like look what you can have that you can't because your girlfriend buys shitty bathing suits.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I thought it was kind of funny. So who do you think's the asshole there? Both of them.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I think they're both friends and they're fun.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think I don't know.
Speaker 2:Anyway, anyway.
Speaker 1:I would think that a woman would be able to look at a bathing suit and know that, hey, they're probably going to be able to see through this it's almost like those ones that ladies get the guys where they dissolve the dissolving shorts I had a buddy in college, my freshman year, and I lived on the fourth floor of la follette and at the time, at one time, it was the biggest dorm in the world and this place was huge.
Speaker 1:But on the fifth floor were women and so the girls would come down a lot. We would go up because it was just one floor in between. And there was a guy there one day and he a buddy of mine. He had come out of the shower, he had a towel wrapped around him and he had his little caddy it had shit in it right and there was people there's 30, 40 people walking up down the hall and somebody goes up and just grabs his towel and he's standing there, butt naked, holding his little caddy.
Speaker 1:It's like nothing happens people, and there's men and women right and he's just naked and I'm there are certain people that are just comfortable right in that situation. It's like I didn't ask for this but I'm not gonna react to it. Right, it happened, so what? So anyway, interesting.
Speaker 2:yes, yeah, yeah, I know it happened, so what so anyway, interesting.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know a guy that used to go to state darts and wear thongs.
Speaker 3:I know I saw that guy Legend.
Speaker 1:Gold LeMay, I saw it. Some people are just more comfortable that was before social media.
Speaker 2:Thank you very much. No, it wasn't.
Speaker 1:Are you guys ready for some after two beers news and?
Speaker 2:we'll wrap this up.
Speaker 1:I've got three stories for you tonight. The first one comes to us from Las Vegas. A 47 year old gas station convenience store clerk in Las Vegas named Myron Bully I love that his last name is Bully Was arrested for allegedly beating a man with a baseball bat for taking too much nacho cheese. Beat him to death. He's not dead yet.
Speaker 3:Man with a baseball bat for taking too much nacho cheese.
Speaker 1:The person who did death.
Speaker 1:He's not dead yet, but uh the uh, the person who called nine one one told police he saw the victim on the ground while pumping gas and asked bully to call nine one one. But he responded I'm not going to call nine one one. He better have learned a lesson. Oh well, he told police that the victim took too much cheese from the nacho cheese machine, so he told him to leave. The victim left but returned a few minutes later. He insisted on getting his nachos. Oh yeah, and that's when Bully pushed him outside and hit him with a baseball bat. Unfortunately, the victim is in rough shape with two brain bleeds oh no, and his injuries are considered life-threatening. Bully was charged with suspicion of attempted murder or murder right yeah, I gave him a title and a battery with a deadly weapon over nacho cheese.
Speaker 3:But it's nacho cheese. It's nacho cheese. Oh my gosh, that's what he said.
Speaker 2:It's nacho cheese. It's nacho cheese, it's nacho cheese. Oh my gosh, that's what he said it's nacho cheese.
Speaker 1:It's nacho cheese. Oh, you know, I read these stories because everybody talks about every community that you live in. Like we live here in Richmond.
Speaker 4:People go oh.
Speaker 1:Richmond's going to shit Like. I haven't ever heard of anybody getting beat over nacho cheese in Richmond, indiana.
Speaker 3:And we've had some crazy shit, go on here in their jaw by putting firecrackers in a dryer.
Speaker 1:We're going to talk about that on a future show.
Speaker 2:That video is amazing, that's the greatest thing ever, and that's here in town.
Speaker 1:Here's our second story of the week. This comes to us from Virginia. I don't know why I did that. It wasn't West Virginia. Fire officials in Virginia were called to a home in the Richmond area. How ironic when a homeowner reported that their oven had exploded. There you go. When the firefighters showed up, they found the oven exploded and a handgun inside. Apparently, someone had turned on the oven, which heated up a loaded gun and the five rounds went off.
Speaker 1:Somebody was storing their handgun in the oven. That's almost that's how richmond blew up. Uh, it was a test of a gun, right? Yeah?
Speaker 2:it was the gas next to the yeah radiator.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah that was the same. I'd love how you both have addd to yeah, you're like hey, speaking of that um, fortunately, no one was hurt. Despite the fact that at least one of the rounds shot through the front glass, there aren't any further details on why the gun was in the oven. Why not, oh my gosh?
Speaker 3:He found it in the water.
Speaker 2:Jeez Drying it out.
Speaker 1:Just drying it out. All right, here's our last story. What? Do we got. This is the Stalk level 1,000. Yeah, okay, this happened in the Netherlands, which this is supposed to be a more relaxed country than we are, so it goes to show you that you know.
Speaker 2:No, it happens everywhere.
Speaker 1:Yeah, screw the Europeans too. Yeah. But here it is. A 33-year-old man was sentenced to four months in jail for stalking after he showed up at his ex's house. But he didn't just walk up to the front door, okay. What'd he do to the door? No, he shipped himself inside a box to her address. It's unclear if she somehow brought it inside or not, but he emerged from the box, threatened her with a gun and then took off with the keys to their house. The man told the judge he was. Having himself delivered in a box was quote the only way to get in and get my stuff back Like his lady friend, this is crazy.
Speaker 1:The woman put a camera in her home after the box incident and caught him showing up at her place three times. The man claims he had permission for the visits, but the judge didn't buy it. In addition to jail time, the judge granted the woman a three-year restraining order. Oh wow, nice, yeah, you know that lady's got to be pretty amazing if a guy's going to spend that much on shipping charges Because shipping is really expensive.
Speaker 2:He's shipping himself in a box to get your box.
Speaker 1:Have you ever had? I'm sure women have.
Speaker 2:Because he's no longer in the box.
Speaker 3:That must have been more than just a monthly subscription.
Speaker 1:I gotta assume now I'm sure this goes on the men's side, because we've heard stories of this. I door dash myself Women. I've heard of just ridiculous things that exes. Have you ever had a crazy stalker?
Speaker 4:No, back to trusting the monkey more than the X.
Speaker 2:There you go, buddy Right there it is Get that monkey, the monkeys scare me now, man. I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 4:I feel for you, I'll convert you. You're going with me next. Friday.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're going to do a show. I don't know that I can. We're going to do a show with a monkey.
Speaker 1:I'm going to look at him in the eyes and he's going to be like I'm going to eat your face.
Speaker 4:Do you have any 3X t-shirts?
Speaker 1:I do. Will he wear one? Yeah, and after two pews, oh.
Speaker 2:We'll do it now. Let's do it On the road.
Speaker 1:On the road again.
Speaker 2:We're like look at this. We got Robin Williams in the past. Harry, son of a bitch. You know it's true. Thank you, that was the last person watching.
Speaker 1:I am mystified Just the whole thing about pets of chimpanzees now, and the fact that you know somebody that has one. That's 30 years old, not too far away.
Speaker 4:Yeah, he'll be 30 Friday.
Speaker 1:He's still got another 30 years of his life.
Speaker 4:That's what sucks.
Speaker 1:How old is this guy?
Speaker 4:70.
Speaker 1:How long do you think it takes? Does he lock it up? I assume so he has.
Speaker 4:He pretty much has a whole barn to himself. The inside of the barn he has metal cage.
Speaker 2:So he has room to run around.
Speaker 4:And then he has a door he can open up and go outside, and then he has a big enclosure outside so he can go in and out.
Speaker 2:It's not like he's trapped in a little room, like this he's not in that chick's basement.
Speaker 4:I mean, he's got a TV he likes watching Andy Griffith. That's my kind of animal, right there it sounds outlandish. He drank beer, blue Mountain Dew. If you hold a Green Mountain Dew, I'm Blue Mountain Dew. He's a Blue Mountain Dew kind of guy.
Speaker 1:So he's not colorblind? No, wow, awesome.
Speaker 4:And he likes Casey's Pizza. Who doesn't?
Speaker 1:That's awesome. Has he ever done anything weird other than escaping?
Speaker 4:I'm sure he has, I just don't know about it. Yeah, you don't know about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wow, you don't normally tell about the times your dog does something you don't want it to. Why you?
Speaker 4:only tell the story, especially when it's a 200-pound exotic animal Right.
Speaker 1:So why does the guy have it? I want to have this guy on our show.
Speaker 4:I want to know why, at a certain point in his life, he's like I need to adopt a chimpanzee he's always had. So he's had. I think he's had three chimps throughout his life. And then he swears toby's the best one he's had, and he bought him when he's a baby. He's always had exotic animals, so, um, it's, it's cool because he has some goats. He has some miniature horses, um, but toby will go outside and he'll take his water bottles, throw them at the goats and then he'll go. He'll just make he mimics them.
Speaker 2:After fucking with the goats, I actually think I can hang out with this kid.
Speaker 1:See there you go man, I can throw water bottles at a goat, yeah absolutely.
Speaker 2:Especially if it was a feigning goat, that would be better.
Speaker 1:You should take him some of those little poppers that you had, those firecrackers.
Speaker 4:And those goats would faint Love it. The first time I seen him, he threw an apple straight to me. I was like man, he should be on the Colts. We're still struggling. He's a monkey. Our quarterback's still struggling.
Speaker 1:He's alright, he'll be there. Aside from the fact that he's a monkey. Campanzee oh my gosh. Perfect quarterback, yeah, aside from the fact that he's a monkey. Or Campan Z oh my gosh. I want to know more. I'm fascinated by it.
Speaker 2:We got to get out there and check it out.
Speaker 1:I do I do I do All right. Well, it's been an hour and we started late, so I don't Do we have anybody that's still?
Speaker 2:hung on. Thank you for sticking around. Yeah, yeah, you had a few.
Speaker 1:We love you had the key is had like that lady had a face.
Speaker 4:Toby's probably watching on his TV there you go.
Speaker 1:We get Toby to watch he'll chuck feces at us yeah, what he thinks of our show anyway, alright, I don't know if we have anything else, anything you guys want to talk about?
Speaker 3:I don't think so. We covered it all. We covered it.
Speaker 1:I like the drink this week. Well, I guess we say it at the end of the show and in an hour of just blabbering at the mouth. This is by far the most important thing we say. It's simply this If there's an individual or a person in your life that you just feel like maybe they're just not being themselves, or maybe you can just tell that it's a struggle, for whatever reason Different times of the year, different people's birthdays, things just get to people in certain ways and I'm sure they don't want a full-blown psychological assessment. But if you just give them a call for me, just send them a message, just tell them hey, just checking in on you, just want to make sure you're all right, just want to make sure you're all right, just want to make sure you're okay, know you're loved, know you're appreciated, you'd be surprised how something so small might mean the absolute world to somebody, yep, especially as the holidays approach. Oh yeah, keep that in mind. All right, I guess, without further, adodin gibbler, we will talk to them all next time after two beers.