After 2 Beers
After 2 Beers
#170 After 2 Beers: Ketamine Confessions and Imaginary Bear Attacks: Crime Gone Wild
Ever found yourself laughing out loud at a traffic sign? Join us as we explore the streets of Boulder, Colorado, where signs like "Don't kill any kids today" and "Get off your damn phone" bring humor to everyday traffic. We're sipping our favorite drinks with Dutch Dalton, Kimmy Gibbler, and Michael "Puddin'" Summers, discussing the impact of these cheeky messages and sharing our dreams of beachfront escapes to melt away winter blues. It's all about the quirky, the whimsical, and the downright hilarious side of news that you won't find in your typical headlines.
From a South Korean man strapped with creepy crawlies in Peru to a UK drug dealer hilariously outing his own ketamine stash, our stories this episode are as bizarre as they come. We delve into a world where imaginary bear attacks on luxury cars become the centerpiece of fraud schemes. Join us as we unpack these wild tales of criminal creativity and marvel at the absurdity of it all—because sometimes, truth is stranger than fiction, and a little folly goes a long way.
We also tackle the dynamics of friendships, questioning what makes them tick and how they evolve over time. With personal anecdotes, we contrast the often-complicated bonds women navigate with the simplicity of male camaraderie. And speaking of bonds, we can't ignore the modern parental worries that seem to have taken a nosedive into over-vigilance. From tracking apps to a surprising number of shelter mice, we ponder the fine line between care and intrusion, all while keeping it light-hearted with tales of monkeys and hamsters causing chaos. So grab your drink and join us for a cozy chat that's equal parts entertaining and enlightening.
Welcome to the After 2 Beers podcast. I'm Dutch Dalton, joined as always by Kimmy Gebler. That's me and Michael of the Puddin' Summers. What's going on? We are officially in what I would like to call the winter season. Yeah, we have snow out there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's coming down. I hate it.
Speaker 3:It's beautiful, but it makes me want to be in my sweatshirt.
Speaker 2:What's in the couch? The beach, the beach. Right, the ocean.
Speaker 1:Oh man, I just like complaining.
Speaker 3:All right.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the show. We greatly appreciate you tuning in with us or downloading us Last week. We're back to heading in the right direction. We're after Two Beers News and we had had almost a thousand views so far.
Speaker 3:So far the first week, so that's really good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, uh, we, uh, we put together this show just to kind of have something to do and it's no, it's kind of funny like I'm getting text messages about my fantasy football league, about people are like, oh so, and so is on the block, I'm in the shit, it's fine yeah, so if this is your first time watching the show, the reason we're called After Two Beers is that we consume a few drinks, and that's kind of our way of taking the filter off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, except for Kim, she perseveres she doesn't get too out of the box too often, but it tries to make it a little bit more open and friendly. And then what we have found that we're pretty decent at is finding things that are going on in the world and letting you know about them, because this is the stuff you don't see on your nightly news.
Speaker 1:This is the stuff you need to see, yeah, well, a lot of times, I read these stories and it makes me feel better about myself, right? So that's what this show is it? These stories? And it makes me feel better about myself, right, it's so. That's what this show is. It's basically a mental health thing. Yeah, it's self-help, yeah, so we've got eight stories tonight coming up and, uh, we will touch on those shortly before we get started, I want to make sure that we thank our patreon sponsors. Uh, if you, uh would like to support the show, we would greatly appreciate it. All you've got to do is go to patreoncom, backslash after2beers and, for as little as I believe, $3 a month.
Speaker 2:A shot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can support us, so we would greatly appreciate that. We are continuing our After 2 Beers trivia. You can come and hang out with us live, and I believe our next event is scheduled. It's a Wednesday. It's either December 3rd or 4th.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'm going to get a list of updated times and dates on our Facebook page and with the possibility to win thousands of dollars, thousands.
Speaker 1:Thousands. We do give away, in my opinion, one of the absolute coolest things that you can win at a trivia. A lot of times it's um gift certificates for wherever you're at Right. We give away lottery tickets, yes. And drinks, yeah, and drinks, yeah. That's, that's true. We give out about a 12 pack a night on top of it, yeah, yeah. Now you definitely want to make sure, you, and it's free, yeah.
Speaker 2:Come out. It's free. You ain't got to pay for this, no, and you can bring your kids, yes.
Speaker 1:Bring your kids Bring your kids out.
Speaker 3:Just know, they might hear a couple choice words.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, actually most of the curse words I hear from now on are the table that has the kids at it. It's the family. It's like being raised by my dad watching those guys, uh ponder, confirmed, it is the fourth so, uh, thank you very much, josh. Thank you and then. Uh, lastly, before we get started, I want to make sure we thank our buddy, kevin, shook and uh yes thank you global media enterprises for helping us out here.
Speaker 1:Um cool facility. Uh has equipment that uh can go out on the road and can also do things here live and does all sorts of things. He can do drone footage and he can take pictures whatever you need whatever he is your social media source or his, the guru?
Speaker 2:the guru the game 3d, print you some stuff all right, yeah, check, yeah, check that out.
Speaker 3:Oh, he did that. Yeah, that's slick.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's weird.
Speaker 3:I like it. It's upside down Reversed, all right.
Speaker 1:All right, all right, you guys ready to start?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm ready. What's your first one? What do?
Speaker 1:you got All right. This one comes to us from Boulder, colorado. This is the beauty of having Kevin as well. As I throw these out here, I'm sure he's going to be able to find some of this and throw it on the screen. So, if you're listening to us, our listen numbers went up as well on iTunes, spotify, all of those kinds of things, so those went up. But if you watch us live, kevin will basically interact with us and bring up supporting information to go with the show Pictures, videos.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you get supporting information to go with the show. So here's our videos. Yeah, you get a chance to do it right here. All right, here's our first one. Someone in Boulder, colorado, put up at least five profane traffic signs and these things are amazing. They basically look like the real sign.
Speaker 2:They look like official street signs but they're actually mounted onto real speed limit sign posts. Okay, so you covered them up. No, no, no, it's right below it.
Speaker 1:So there's like here's one here Speed limit's 45. And the sign below it says don't kill any kids today.
Speaker 2:That is fantastic Right.
Speaker 1:Other signs include get off your damn phone. Another one was slow the fuck down. Other one, uh, slow down.
Speaker 3:I'm assuming it was asshole oh, there you go, put down the phone, bitch that's when you get to do a second take at.
Speaker 2:You were like did that sign?
Speaker 3:right well, have you guys seen the one in richmond?
Speaker 2:No, that changes all the time. That changes all the time.
Speaker 3:The one time I was like I remember it was Batman and then one time it was like Wasn't it a Sasquatch one time. Yeah. Is it on the east side of town. Yeah, it's not Wormley. What's the other one?
Speaker 1:I saw it Garwood, it was a spaceship like a UFO.
Speaker 3:Sucking people up. Oh, sucking people up, yep.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Well, anyway, this person in Boulder has been putting these up and the police aren't happy about it. They don't think it's funny. Yeah, they're looking for the person responsible and say it's possible they could be charged with criminal tampering. I guess I keep going. You know, I look at it, it's like a Bansky.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, Bansky, just keep putting them up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah yeah, you know. The other thing that's cool about it is like they're making a joke of something that really needs to be said.
Speaker 3:Yeah, for sure, right.
Speaker 1:And it's kind of a fun way of saying hey, put your phone down, bitch, hey pay attention, pay attention to what you're doing. Yeah, the authorities do say they appreciate the sentiment, but add that there are other means for safety village uh, village villages I'm telling you, I don't know why I'm struggling I did it again.
Speaker 3:Lord, are you having a stroke?
Speaker 1:I feel like it. They say if you're having a stroke you can tell, if you can't whistle or sing really Really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can't sing anyway. No, like you, just gotta, you know.
Speaker 1:See, I'm not having a stroke, I'm golden, I'm telling you. When you get to our age you start looking into shit.
Speaker 3:You start looking for the signs of a stroke.
Speaker 1:You know, I carry the Apple Watch now just to make sure I can do my ECGs whenever I need to. Oh, it's up my right, whenever I need to.
Speaker 2:just make sure. Oh, it's up my right. Let me check my heart rate.
Speaker 1:Okay it's fine, you know true story. Yeah, you know this is squirrel time here, but I work with a guy that had an AFib issue, had no clue about it. It was his watch that detected it and he went to the hospital and they said, yeah, you do, and they had to have a surgery over it.
Speaker 2:Oh said yeah, you do, and they had to have a surgery over it and it was his watch that. Yeah, and he's already. Actually he's younger than I am oh wow, yeah, hey.
Speaker 1:And then he brought it up to his dad. He's like oh yeah, yeah, we got that it's a genetic thing, yeah, yeah oh yeah, most of our family died from it. I had it nice, oh do you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when I went to have a procedure done, um, they took me back there and took my vitals and like you, okay, I'm like, yeah, he's like you. Sure you had an energy drink, I'm just not. My resting heart rate was 160 oh good night. I was just sitting there. They're like, yeah, because my thyroid is bad, so it's in my heart and I ate fib.
Speaker 1:Wow, so that now that's crazy, I don't know. I'm kind of sad now.
Speaker 3:Do you have an Apple Watch? Yeah, I do. Okay, there you go.
Speaker 1:It just laughs at him.
Speaker 3:It says like you, fucked man.
Speaker 1:Fat ass. Once a week it sends a man you fucked.
Speaker 3:Mine does call me a fat ass.
Speaker 1:It's like bitch. It's time to stand up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like get up.
Speaker 3:Mine tells me. I hear that one all the time. I was like I was standing up. I was actually using my stand-up desk at the time. I'm like I am.
Speaker 1:I'm going to start putting my phone on my dog's collar. All right, so there's our first one. The city is in the process of removing those signs. Leave them up.
Speaker 3:I hope he finds another place to put them.
Speaker 1:Interesting story out of Pennsylvania. A man there allegedly masturbated on his neighbor's property in view of a camera. Police say who hasn't? Yeah right, benjamin Santos Jr, 56, was allegedly intoxicated when he went onto his neighbor's property at 2.30 in the morning. According to Officer Dara Golden-Kieske of the Sunbury Police Department, the neighbor told police Santos went in front of an outside camera on her property and began masturbating on purpose?
Speaker 3:Did he go from the windows to?
Speaker 1:the walls oh skeet, skeet. This would be the most embarrassing thing ever. The next day the neighbor saw Santos outside and asked him what happened. As she pointed to her camera, Santos had a smirk on his face as he told her he was very drunk and my bad.
Speaker 3:My bad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a fun conversation next time.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry About last night.
Speaker 2:Don't worry, I'll wash it off.
Speaker 1:He's like I thought we had slugs. I want to know what it takes. I've been really drunk and I've never thought you know what. I'm going to go yank it in the front yard.
Speaker 2:I'm surprised because most of the time you get drunk, you're not getting hard. Whiskey dick, whiskey dick.
Speaker 1:I read a story today about. It's called Winter Dick.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Winter Penis is actually what it is. It's basically when it goes up in you. Yeah, and I'm like this is. It was on New York Post.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow.
Speaker 1:It's not even like a shitty newspaper, Well it's kind of a shitty newspaper, but you know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, I was shocked about it. This guy has been charged with misdemeanor, open lewdness, loitering, prowling at night and roughing up the witness, is it?
Speaker 3:called voyeurism. No, that's if he was looking in the window while doing it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's so weird, instead of just looking in the camera. You like what you see? Oh, covered in oil.
Speaker 1:This is why I love Kevin. He's got ADD. He's looking up stories that have nothing to do with our story. My search history is fucked. He's like doing emails and letting people watch. All right, here's our third story tonight. This comes to us from Australia. Anybody got a good Australian accent?
Speaker 3:No, Throw another shrimp on the barbie. That was terrible.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was, so you don't have one either. Australia's National Science Agency released a new app over the weekend and it tracks your farts. Nice, oh, I'd be in trouble. It's called Chart your Fart and it lets you track things. This is true. You should look it up. It lets you track things like fart frequency, duration, loudness and stench and how long the smell lingered Nice.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:How many laps around the car?
Speaker 3:does it take? Did it say the speed of it? The speed, yeah, like how laps around the car does it take? Does it say like did?
Speaker 1:it say the speed of it, the speed.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like how fast it comes out. What do you shit?
Speaker 1:into a radar gun.
Speaker 3:No, haven't you ever seen like where? It's like the, what is it? The heat?
Speaker 2:cameras or whatever, and you can see?
Speaker 3:Yeah, and like my, man alive. Those come out pretty fast. It's a lot of buildup fast. What is the speed of that toot?
Speaker 1:They're asking Australians to track their farts for three days, including one weekend day. Their press release says this to help scientists better understand the frequency and characteristics of one of the leading gut health symptoms Chart my fart Chart, my fart Chart, my fart. It's meant for Australians, but anyone can download it. There's an option for people located outside of Australia.
Speaker 3:I was going to say I think they eat better than we do. I think that we would have to recharge the.
Speaker 2:They're as Western as we are. They're eating koalas and everything. Kangaroo.
Speaker 1:They eat that Vegemite shit yeah that'd make you a shit yourself.
Speaker 2:Right there Tastes like shit, oh shit. Now here's one that's.
Speaker 1:All right, we ready for story four. You know, here's the wild part. Like I thought it would be difficult to put this story together. Yeah, because we just did one of these less than two weeks ago. Oh, so much happens. People are stupid everywhere. There's so much stupidness going on everywhere. Yeah, here's an interesting one. I'm sure kevin will be able to find some photos. I've seen this and it's freaking me out a little bit. A uh, 28 year old man from south korea got arrested at an airport in peru. He was trying to smuggle 320 tarantulas.
Speaker 3:Oh, jeez, we had snakes last week and now there's tarantulas.
Speaker 1:Through security by strapping them to his body. 285 were babies packed inside plastic tubes, but 35 were full-grown tarantulas described as the size of a human hand. Holy cow, this dude had them on his body.
Speaker 2:Oh no, there's the babies. There's the babies. Shut up. Yes, now there's going to be like a stack of Tupperware dishes.
Speaker 1:Look at that. How did he have all those strapped to his body? He had stuffed them in bags and belted them to his torso. They flagged him when they noticed his stomach seemed abnormally swollen, probably because he just came off the Ozempic about four weeks ago and he's fucking starving.
Speaker 2:Lay off me, I'm starving.
Speaker 1:On top of the 320 tarantulas he also had 110 centipedes strapped to his body and nine bullet ants known for having the most painful sting of any insect, why Money girl?
Speaker 3:It's all about the cash. Oh, I'm sure You're just going to sell them, yes.
Speaker 1:They think he poached them from the Amazon with plans to resell them overseas. He was flying back to South Korea with a layover in France. Wow.
Speaker 3:I didn't know if maybe it was a delicacy or something.
Speaker 1:Oh, can you imagine sitting next to somebody and they, unwilling or unknowingly to you, have 320 tarantulas?
Speaker 2:Can you imagine one of them, little tubes breaking and like all the little tarantulas, oh.
Speaker 1:And you're on a plane.
Speaker 2:How about if he had those nine bullet ants in his underwear? At least it'll swell, he'll get rid of that winter dick.
Speaker 1:He's got a new Instagram profile pic. All right, here's our fifth story. A drug dealer in the UK got arrested after he left his bag of drugs on a train and then reporting them missing. What?
Speaker 2:was in your briefcase, oh, you know papers, papers, papers, important papers, business papers.
Speaker 1:30-year-old Jordan McCourt Knight Anybody with a hyphenated last name is probably going to have some shit going on Realized he had left a bag full of ketamine behind, with a street value of $50,000.
Speaker 2:Wow, you think he might want to keep a hold of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, he's probably high. So he and another dealer named Harley Hall that does sound like a drug dealer. Name man you get this shit from Harley Hall. He tried to go back and get it but the train was gone. So he reported the bag missing and didn't say what was in it. But turned out an employee had already found the drugs and called the police. Apparently they had found $45,000 worth of ketamine. Cops tracked Jordan down, searched his phone, found texts that showed Harley was involved, so they arrested him too. Then they kept digging.
Speaker 3:Neither one of them can grow facial hair apparently.
Speaker 1:Well, they're going to have some time to think about it. That guy on the right looks like he was one of them Amish guys that they let go and hang out in the world. Rum Springer yeah, he's like a oh man.
Speaker 3:Look at his eyebrows.
Speaker 1:What's?
Speaker 3:up with them. What happened to them? He's only got like half on each side.
Speaker 1:If Hitler had eyebrows, that's what they would look like.
Speaker 2:He's not going through menopause Did you guys have?
Speaker 1:a fight with a razor Ketamine man.
Speaker 3:Shoot.
Speaker 1:Cops tracked Jordan down, searched his phone, found the text Harley was involved, so they arrested him too. Then they kept digging, realized they had been sneaking drugs in from.
Speaker 3:Portugal and took down the entire drug ring.
Speaker 1:Here you go, because he reported it missing.
Speaker 3:Dumbass. Yeah, he let that shit go now.
Speaker 1:And listen to this Harley and Jordan, so the other Harley's the guy that he screwed over. They both got sentenced to six years in prison. Oh, wow, yeah.
Speaker 3:Where was this at? You said UK, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it just shows there's stupid people everywhere. I love it. I love it All right, this is our sixth story tonight. We're moving fast, we got it going, we are yeah.
Speaker 3:Like a marsupial.
Speaker 1:This. You guys probably heard about this one. It apparently happened in January during a trip to Lake Arrowhead, 75 miles east of LA. Apparently some people had reported that a bear had gotten into their car yes, and so the officials launched an investigation, which I love the name of this. It was called Operation Bear Claw.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So you know, you know they're serious when they name it after a donut. We're going to make this one serious, guys. They looped in a biologist at the California Department of Wildlife who watched the video and told them well, that's clearly a human in a bear suit.
Speaker 2:Shut up.
Speaker 1:The scratch marks in the car also looked weird and too evenly spaced. Turned out they had used metal claws that were meant for shredding meat. Yep, and then here's my other favorite part Officials found the bear suit and the claws in one of the suspect's home.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:There's actually pictures of this online.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. And if you watch the videos, they have the bear attack. They pull the car out, pull another one in. Bear comes back, attacks the other car that bear hates cars, four cars, so it's obviously insurance fraud.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, ah, but they're.
Speaker 1:Well, as dumb as the plan is, it turned out and actually worked twice before with two other cars, both Mercedes, yeah they together. The fraudulent claims netted them just over $140,000. Holy crap the last car they did it to was a Rolls Royce.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there you go. Yeah, no, that's not a bear, that's a guy.
Speaker 1:He's in there going. That's a terrible CD I hate this upholstery. The ironic part is they're the ones that turned in the footage. Yeah, and they had already had it happen twice and worked. And they just. This is just.
Speaker 2:You go back to the Golden Goose 2. Look at that, that is yeah. Look at that, yeah, that's Just perfectly. Even that is a finely manicured bear. Somewhere the Chicago Bears are looking for their mascot.
Speaker 3:I see a bear suit and all of a sudden I'm thinking of Super Troopers, bear fuckers.
Speaker 1:Oh, alright. Two of the suspects are 39. One is 32. The other is 26. And they're all facing charges for conspiracy and insurance fraud yeah, not the brightest.
Speaker 2:Alright, now we got two stories that we're going to end this on charges for conspiracy and insurance fraud yeah, not, the brightest, but no, all right.
Speaker 1:Now we got two stories that we're going to end this on and it's more about just chatting. Yeah, this the first one. How many friends do you have, like you would consider close friends or yeah, like yeah, in your network of close friends?
Speaker 3:12, 15, 15.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right. Yeah, like in your network of close friends, 12?, 15?, 15?, okay, all right. The reason I ask according to a report, the average American man has eight friends. Total, that includes five general friends, three that are close friends and two best friends.
Speaker 3:Huh, Eight, eight, yeah, okay, yeah, so 33% of men yeah. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:So 33% of men are comfortable calling their friends bro.
Speaker 3:Bruh, what up?
Speaker 1:bruh.
Speaker 2:Bruh Bruh. Yeah, I don't know, I like the kids now. Bruh Bruh, don't call me bruh.
Speaker 1:So you have, you said 15 friends, mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:How often do you see these friends on a regular basis?
Speaker 1:often? How often? Once a week, once every other week, really 15 people, yeah, that's freaking amazing to me. I see like you two and ponder and amanda, well, there's four that. And then, uh, the kids come around occasionally when they need money or something like I mean, I'm just blown away by this, Right yeah, and especially can I. This is just you know. This is where the after two beers kicks in. I think, women are so mean to each other. Like honestly. Women are some of the most like if we're mean to ourselves.
Speaker 3:What do you mean? Oh fuck, everybody's mean to themselves, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm talking about, like there seems to be a competition amongst women about things that.
Speaker 2:I just don't follow I just don't understand it.
Speaker 1:And then here's the other wild part. I have a good buddy of mine I consider him one of my top eight A guy named Dave Meyer.
Speaker 2:Probably his best friend.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Great dude and I remember one time I saw Dave. He had a little liquid courage in him, so he was after two beers and he was free-flowing and he made the comment to him I hadn't seen him in like six months. And he came up, we chatted like we'd just seen each other yesterday he goes. This is what I love about being a dude he goes.
Speaker 2:I haven't seen you in six months and I'm not catching any from you for not talking to you for six months, right, yeah, women are weird about that stuff, and that's the thing, guys. Yeah, I haven't seen you. We'll just have a beer.
Speaker 1:We'll start talking right, we just seen each other, you don't? You don't agree, are you? Just you trying to? You haven't had enough beer yet I, I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 3:I just I think that the older that I get, I don't get petty about shit like I used to.
Speaker 1:So you used to get petty about it.
Speaker 3:Oh, in my 30s. Yeah, I mean like I think that there is a lot of different things that happened to where it was. Like I think sometimes, like you have some of your best friends and then they transition into a different lifestyle.
Speaker 1:And like.
Speaker 3:Like, for instance, some people had kids and then all of a sudden I got excluded from stuff. Yeah well, like I don't like kids or something, I can't get invited amanda said preach, but also. I was also busy a lot and working several jobs and well, let me ask if you were, I didn't have as much time sometimes, so let's say, hypothetically, you were going to get married in six months.
Speaker 1:Okay, running off, all right. No, I'm not. I don't want. That's not what I'm talking about. I want to say you want to have like a cool little ceremony here locally? How many bridesmaids?
Speaker 3:let's say it's probably why I wouldn't do a ceremony. Why? Because I don't want to have to choose Do you know what I mean I mean like it's like, how do I choose? Because I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings and also like why wouldn't you choose your best friends? I would, but then I'm just going to have way too many people standing next to me.
Speaker 2:See, and then with the guy side it's like, hey, this is how many guys you need to ask. I don't know that many. You have a brother yeah.
Speaker 1:Let me ask your brother, that one guy brings us pizza a lot. Is that our FedEx guy?
Speaker 3:How many would you?
Speaker 1:need 15. Are you fucking serious? You have 15 people that, like you, can't Besties. Seriously, I mean, come on now. This is what's wrong, see who if you had to pick five, oh could you pick five, I I'd run off and get married and elope because I don't want to, just because you don't want to have to deal with the ladies.
Speaker 3:I wouldn't want to have to make the decision. I would stress out about it more than anybody else would.
Speaker 1:Well, of course you would, because you're worried about making people upset.
Speaker 3:No, I'm worrying about like I would have to sit there and reanalyze every single one of my friendships and like you know what I mean, no, and see what order they go in.
Speaker 1:I mean, what order they're in too this is like a Friends episode, right where they had the pros and cons. You're talking about spreadsheeting people. You're like? Well, I mean, if I'm going to have to take an account of everything that's gone on in our friendship for the last 20 years.
Speaker 3:That's what you just said. That's hilarious to me. I have to be like okay honey, how many do I need to get? And then I'm going to have to make a cut.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no, how would you? Let me ask you though All right, you have 15,. You said Okay, let's say Ponder's like, hypothetically, it's all hypothetical. He says I'm doing three, that's it. I got three, maybe four, so now you got to take the 11 aside separately and tell them hey, you didn't make the cut, or do you just have a battle royale. I don't know I'm not gonna ever deal with this, or do you announce the four and then just like field phone calls for a while?
Speaker 2:whatever happens happens.
Speaker 1:This is exactly what I'm talking about. Men don't think like that. If I was getting married and Amanda said, alright, you need to pick four, and let's say hypothetically, puddin' didn't make the cut, puddin' would be like I, just I don't want to go to a ceremony, I just want to invite her Even better.
Speaker 2:Just to the reception. Even better, I don't have to wear a suit Right, exactly, that's the other thing I'd be like is there going to be alcohol? Could it be drinking or no?
Speaker 1:Now here's something I found interesting. Men spend an average of four hours connecting with their friends every week. This includes 94 minutes hanging out in person, 52 minutes texting. I can take every guy that I text in a week and I combined do not text them 52 minutes. 42 minutes talking on the phone.
Speaker 2:That's definitely not happening that ain't never happening.
Speaker 1:No, no, normally, the only time I call somebody, it'd be like Ponder, be like hey, why aren't you answering your texts? Are we gaming or not? Are we gaming or not? Hang up. And then, and here's another one, I don't do 39 minutes DMing on social media. No, no.
Speaker 3:Sharing TikToks yes. Dudes this is dudes, dudes, yeah, no.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 3:I don't know. Jp sends me a lot of takey-talkies and Instagram reels.
Speaker 2:You're not a dude.
Speaker 1:But I'm his best friend. This is about dudes to dudes. You're not a dude, but I'm his best friend. This is about dudes to dudes. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Dude on dude. Come on, dude on dude.
Speaker 1:My bad, All right, all right, this is our last story for the evening and I'm not sure if we get any viewers, but I would love to get some of the reactions from the people that are in the control room. This is American in a nutshell across so many things, and we can spend as much time on this one or as little as you guys want, but I'm interested in this one. Okay, a mom in rural Georgia just recently got arrested after her 10 year old son walked into town alone. They live less than a mile away and the town only has a few hundred people, so it'd be the equivalent here in richmond to, uh uh, fountain city yeah okay, the uh.
Speaker 1:The house is, like I said, just under a mile away and the kid is 10, just turned 11. So he's like a fourth or fifth grader. Yeah, his name or, excuse me, the mom's name is Brittany Patterson, her son's name is Soren and apparently on the October 30th Brittany took her other kid to a doctor's appointment and thought Soren was playing in the middle of the woods on their farm. Okay, Okay. He decided to walk into town without telling anyone. Now puddin was telling me off air that this was pretty common.
Speaker 2:The kid would do this yeah, he's done it several times.
Speaker 1:She said he would walk in. There's like a store he would go to to get candy or whatnot, right, uh, that's it. Now here's where america kicks in. The first part two and we're going to circle back to all this. A random woman saw him on the side of the road where the speed limit is 35. She asked if he was okay. He said yes, but she called the police anyway.
Speaker 1:Now britney got a call from police letting her know they had picked up her son and they said that he could have been hit by a car or kidnapped. But she didn't think it was a big deal. So she says he's plenty mature enough. She gave him a talking to at home and thought that was it. Later that night the cop showed back up to arrest, arrest her. They uh, handcuffed her in front of her other three kids and they charged her with reckless conduct and released her on $500 bail. Wow, the child services came out next day for a welfare check. They ended up suggesting the charges might be dropped if she agreed to sign something that said another adult would be a safety person in quotes and keep an eye on Soren when she's not at home. She also has to put an app on her phone to track his location. They're making her mom. This is wild to me.
Speaker 3:All of our parents would have been jailed, right.
Speaker 2:I know I've said it before on here.
Speaker 3:They had commercials asking where your kids are when we were young, my mom sent me to the store at 7 with a note telling them that I could pick up her smokes for her.
Speaker 1:I was all over the place. You really buy cigarettes at 7 years old. That's kind of fucked up.
Speaker 2:I don't care I wasn't smoking them right, yeah, as a kid, kindergarten, I was walking to school, yeah, like I was too, and that's the one.
Speaker 1:So again we're gonna circle back. Yep, um, now, uh, brittany refused to hire a lawyer instead. Then let me hold on, oh, okay, so she's got to do all this shit and she's like I ain't doing all that, right, you know? And she hired a lawyer in a group with the National Association of Parents launched a GoFundMe to help her with her legal bills In the state of Georgia. If they decide to pursue the charges, she could face a thousand dollar fine and up to a year in jail. That's true.
Speaker 3:And what are our kids going to do then?
Speaker 1:Walk to town. I guess we're walking all over the place.
Speaker 1:All right, now, here's my thing. Okay, and these are the two things, two or three things I want to circle back to. Two or three things I want to circle back to. Do we worry too much about kids' safety today, or is it justified? And the reason I bring this up is what you were kind of joking about, but it's reality for me as well. As a young kid, I did walk to and from school all the way through high school. But even as a child before I was a fourth or fifth grader, I would walk by myself up two blocks and then over three blocks, yeah, and no one seemed to care.
Speaker 2:No, I rode my bike all over Richmond.
Speaker 1:Yeah, hell, at that age I was on a big wheel. Yeah, you know going everywhere. So that's my first question Is it this would you let your kids do it now?
Speaker 2:In new pairs? Yeah, here in Richmond, no, why? I don't like Richmond. Damn bike paths everywhere. Oh my God.
Speaker 3:Only if they went on the bike path can they walk around town.
Speaker 1:So that's my first question about this, and this is where Mike Coddington said it the same way, and it was true. When the street lights were on.
Speaker 2:That's when we had to go home.
Speaker 1:We used to play uh football with a bunch of kids and, um, that's how I knew I had to go home the moment the street lights came on, but my mom and dad, up to that point, had no clue where I was at no, I like.
Speaker 2:yeah, as a kid I was told to go outside that was it?
Speaker 3:No, they left the. You're in a house, go outside, yeah. I'm like All right, don't come in unless you're bleeding, or yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So the world has changed, and one of it. It leads me back to what Amanda Wise just said Well, she said people are way more worried now, which is true, and she says people be crazy, which is also true. The question I have are we that much more crazy now than we were in the 80s when we were those kids? I just think we see it more.
Speaker 3:I think we see it more because of the media Right.
Speaker 1:But you're just as guilty of it.
Speaker 3:You see one case of somebody getting kidnapped and it's all over the news in every county.
Speaker 2:I thought quicksand would be a lot more problematic.
Speaker 1:Granted, I thought the state would be a lot more right. So my point being this is you just said yourself you wouldn't let your kids do it even in richmond richmond.
Speaker 2:I'm not gonna do it in new paris.
Speaker 1:I think richmond might be too big really because and I'm not, I'm trying to when was the last time you recall of a kid being kidnapped in richmond, indiana, by someone that wasn't a parent or like a family member, that was maybe going through a custodial thing? I? Can't recall a fan ever right, but in your mind you still feel like it's not safe enough for your kids to walk a mile well that I don't know about that.
Speaker 2:Maybe traffic here in town because the new parents I mean, we don't have that much traffic yeah, now, you grew up in centerville.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I grew up in richmond and I remember 13, 14 riding a scooter I grew up, you know like a powered scooter and you know they didn't seem to get too shit.
Speaker 2:Maybe they were just, you know, nobody cared back.
Speaker 1:No, oh all right, here's my second thing. I want to bring up about this story ponder, uh, ponder's late 30s I used to bike and skateboard all over richmond and middle school. There you go, uh and his family. He comes from a law enforcement background and, uh, so, believe me, if somebody was going to know, some shit was going down richmond, it would have been him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right. Here's the second part of it that I find interesting. A random woman saw the kid walking on the road and called the police. Are people more nosy and into people's shit now, more than?
Speaker 2:ever? Yes, I think so. Right, just because of that too, other parents seen us. They didn't care. Oh, he's outside playing.
Speaker 1:Good, well, the weird part for me, okay, and—.
Speaker 3:Is that a kid's outside nowadays? Well, no.
Speaker 1:Most people most—like if I were say, I'm this lady and I'm driving down the side of the road and I see this kid and the funny part for us here in Wayne County we see this whole time because of the Amish kids yeah, they're literally up and down and that's 27.
Speaker 2:All over New Paris driving buggies.
Speaker 1:Well, on 27, the speed limit's 55. Yeah, limit's 55, yeah, and they're up and down the road right on those little two-wheeled scooter deals so clearly here in Wayne County we don't think of a big deal about it. But the part that was interesting was the woman saw him on the side of the road and she asked if he was okay and he said he was and he was by himself, but she still decided to call the police and do do we as a group now? Are we overreaching into people's shit?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2:I mean, yeah, you go outside and masturbate in your front yard, so what? It gets caught on your neighbor's camera.
Speaker 1:Well, apparently he was in the neighbor's yard. Yeah, he wandered.
Speaker 2:Now that's a good question If he was on his side of the fence, just okay Beating a witness. That's a good question. If he was on his side of the fence, just Okay Beating a witness, or whatever. Roughing up the witness, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:One-armed rapid pull-ups Fist kabobbing, Fist kabobbing.
Speaker 2:I like that. Yeah, I think everybody. Yeah, people driving by what's he doing? Call the cops.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then here's the other. I mean, I understand, you gotta hand.
Speaker 3:If it was a two year old or, you know, a kid under five, I understand, but a 10 year old just walking hell. How many times did we run away from home when we were?
Speaker 1:kid, this is her getting arrested.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's so crazy to me, yeah yeah it this, because I wouldn't have had a problem. Now imagine if she was at home, say hey mom, can I go up to the store and get something? Yeah, be careful. Then what happens? Same thing apparently yeah, I knew he was going, I sent him up there and then candy.
Speaker 1:You know I'm not a conspiracy guy and like people are all worried about getting, when you get the uh a shot, they're gonna give you some sort of tracking device. You know people worry about that kind of stupid stuff we have one on us at all times right. But I will say I think it's overreaching for them to say that she had to put an app on his phone to track his location, right I think it's weird to say that a 10 year old has a damn phone.
Speaker 3:but that's me, I'm old.
Speaker 1:Well, you never know when you're kidnapped.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Walking to town. I'm just fascinated by this because there's so many complexities to it. First of all, is it his age? What if he was 13? Would it have been a problem?
Speaker 3:What if he was 15? What if he was small for his age?
Speaker 2:and he was 13 and people are still just Like I said what if the mother was at home and she didn't want to drive up there and let him walk?
Speaker 1:I mean what's wrong with him getting a little exercise Right Getting out?
Speaker 2:of the house. It's probably because she don't see kids out anymore. That's what I said. He's up to something.
Speaker 1:Oh, the whole thing's just odd to me. All right, well, there you go. That is after two beers this week, unless you guys got anything crazy. It was a little more subdued this week.
Speaker 2:The only other one I might have. Did you guys see about the guy who went to turn in some mice? Yeah, they thought it was 150. It turned out to be 150 cases. It'd be like 100,000 mice he turned in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for what To like an adoption place? Like it helped the shelter he had.
Speaker 3:I don't know why I didn't read the whole thing, but I'd have to look it up oh, you did talk about uh last night, about all, but how many of the monkeys were caught?
Speaker 2:eight all but eight, all but eight of those monkeys that got loose that's.
Speaker 1:That's still crazy, those eight are like toodaloo bitches toodaloo it's like 12 monkeys right, it's fucking they'll talk about it for years. I also saw a story this week where someone I don't know if it was like someone was shipping them. It wasn't illegal, but they had like a hundred different hamsters on this plane and they got loose oh nice, yes.
Speaker 2:And they got loose. Oh nice yes, and they wouldn't let them go on.
Speaker 1:Certain planes because they were like I think that crate you got them in is not going to work. The problem is these things eat wire and cable and now they can't find them all, so they can't use the plane.
Speaker 3:Because it might have damage. Oh wow. Yeah, there you go, but hey, let's get some tarantulas on a plate.
Speaker 2:Saphids and snakes yeah lord be weird shit.
Speaker 1:All right, thanks again for watching the After Two Beers podcast. Make sure you follow us on Facebook and we will do a better job of putting out invitations for upcoming recordings. The next one should be two weeks from today, a week after Thanksgiving, so make sure you tune in for that. And, like I said earlier in the show, we are doing our After Two Beers trivia and I believe our next date is 12th Fourth, so make sure you tune in for that. We'd love to have you stop by and hang out with us. If you enjoy the show, do us a favor and just like the show and share the show and, uh, you know, yeah, just little stuff it's funny to me that I have more facebook friends than followers on our facebook page.
Speaker 1:Yeah, even my own family, like some of them, aren't followers and it's like yeah I'm gonna just start taking people's phone.
Speaker 3:How many of those are like duplicate, uh friends, like where somebody forgot their password, so now they've re you think.
Speaker 1:That's why I'm just reaching for straws, oh man, you think I've got some friends that apparently have, uh, forgotten their password multiple times. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's funny when you go to invite them to go do stuff and I'm like I don't know which account they're using yeah you had to go on and check the the earliest date, like I'm like which picture looks the most recent?
Speaker 2:yeah, which post is the most recent?
Speaker 1:okay, this looks like the recent one, yeah, if I've got to do research into which one of your pages yeah, you've got more than two or three yeah, you're not getting invited and they and you don't have their phone number.
Speaker 3:Well, I didn't say they were close friends I only have eight come on cam at most I have eight.
Speaker 1:All right, uh, thanks again to our buddy, kevin shook. Uh, global media enterprises doing the uh, uh, the deal of getting us on here and, uh, he's doing awesome. He's doing like all kinds of stuff now. So, uh, make sure you reach out to him. If this is something you're interested in, you can use it for personal use, professional use, whatever you want to do, so check him out. Thanks again to our Patreon sponsors. Mike Coddington was speaking earlier and we greatly appreciate all that All of you do as well. Just want to pass along a little note from the after two beers family. Just a week ago was Veterans Day. Yeah, thank you to all our veterans. Aj is a veteran, yes, and so without all of you, we clearly wouldn't be able to do this show, or we would be doing it in German Sprechen Sie.
Speaker 1:Deutsch Right. Ich bin krank, or maybe Russian or Chinese future. Anyway, we say it at the end of every show and it is becoming more and more important, especially as we approach the holidays Thanksgiving's coming up and a week from today. Actually, I just checked Christmas is only 35 days away. Yeah 35 days.
Speaker 3:We don't talk about these things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Looks like I got 30 days to wait thank god for prime.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, yeah anyway, um, uh oh, squirrel, squirrel. So as the holidays approach, uh, this can be a difficult time for a lot of individuals. Uh, maybe it's the first year that they're coping with a loss, or, um, you know all kinds of different reasons.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we don't have to dive into that. But do me a favor, especially this time of year, if you think there's someone in your life that may be struggling, going through a hard time, maybe they're just not dealing with this time of the year well, or, like Gibbler said, seasonal depression, it's a real deal. Do me a favor. Just reach out to these people, just ask them how they're doing, how they've been, or just let them know you care about them or appreciate them. You'd be surprised how something so small might mean the absolute world to them.
Speaker 1:All right, I think that we'll do it for this episode. Thanks again to my buddy, mike Summers. He's in one of my top eight, for sure, top eight yeah buddy, it's like MySpace. I see you twice a week now. I see you almost as much as I see AJ, because she works crazy hours, and my buddy Gibbler here. I guess, without further ado, we will talk to them all next time.
Speaker 2:After two beers Take me home, take me on home. We will talk to them all next time After two beers.