After 2 Beers
After 2 Beers
#181 After 2 Beers: The Great Beyond: What Happens After Death?
Death comes for us all, but what happens to your body afterward? That's entirely up to you – and the After Two Beers podcast team has some thoughts. In their latest episode, Dutch, Kimmy, and Michael introduce listeners to the intriguing concept of "boil in a bag" cremation, an environmentally-friendly alternative to traditional burial or cremation that's gaining traction worldwide.
The hosts share their personal end-of-life preferences with surprising candor, from Michael's simple cremation wishes to Kimmy's desire for a memorial bench where loved ones can visit. This thoughtful discussion raises important questions about how we approach death planning and the value of having these conversations before they're urgently needed. As the team points out – we're all getting older, and preparing those we leave behind is an act of love.
But this wouldn't be After Two Beers without some risqué content! The crew dives into fascinating research from Adam & Eve revealing that 81% of adults experience sexual dreams regularly, with over half experiencing actual orgasms during them. This leads to a hilarious debate when two hosts claim they rarely remember their dreams at all – prompting accusations of "having no soul" and an impromptu science lesson about REM sleep.
Between these deeper discussions, the podcast delivers its signature bizarre news roundup: a Kentucky man who released a raccoon in a restaurant for revenge, a Saudi Arabian tourist who called 911 when a stripper wouldn't have sex with him, and a teen who urinated in a baseball team's water jug. There's also a revealing conversation about unexpected Ozempic side effects that has the hosts in stitches.
After nearly eight years of podcasting together, the After Two Beers team continues to blend humor with substance in a way that makes difficult conversations accessible and entertaining. Subscribe now and join their growing community of 40,000 listeners who appreciate honest talk and healthy laughs about life's awkward moments.
Welcome to the After 2 Beers podcast. I'm Dutch Dalton, joined as always by Kimmy Kepler. That's me and Michael Summers. What's going on? We are the After 2 Beers podcast. We greatly appreciate you tuning in. We are just a little over eight years into this soiree that we like to call debauchery and podcasts. You know you've got to love a place when you can come and do a podcast. I know here at this studio they do multiple, multiple podcasts and I can promise you this he is growing. There is no other podcast that openly has as many open beers and THC drinks while fireworks are being fired off in the adjoining studio.
Speaker 1:That's how I'm telling you we roll differently here and it's wild. We like to have a little fun. We do, we do. We got Jeremy Screddy here, screddy.
Speaker 3:Pyrotechnics Flash bang, he's got-.
Speaker 1:Useless fire? Yeah, see For sale. This is why he shows up, because it becomes a free commercial for said Jeremy, if you are looking for some recreational fireworks between now and the 1st of July, because nothing says I love America like blowing up Chinese fireworks. It says hallelujah, I love this country.
Speaker 3:You know, now, before the tariffs kick in. I thought thought you were gonna say them blowing off your fingers.
Speaker 1:Oh man, I'm gonna tell you I love me some fireworks and I have all my digits still. So, yeah, yeah, that just shows you fireworks. Nor diabetes can take my digits, yet come for me I dare you all right.
Speaker 1:Um, welcome to the show. As I mentioned coming up this week, uh, we got two of our bonfire chats. This is basically what this show was founded on, where, uh, back in the day, myself and phil clinn we came up with a, a clever idea. Where, uh, you have a couple drinks and, uh, you sit around to discuss things that you may want to discuss with your buddies, or you're at a bar, sitting at the bar, just fun little topics we got two of those this week, one that involves sexual dreams as an adult.
Speaker 1:I'm going to give out some stats. That's going to probably make some very interesting conversations for others to have at home. But I'm just going to be honest with you. This is all studied by AdamEvecom, so you know it's legit.
Speaker 3:Oh, you know it's legit now.
Speaker 1:Then this is a big one. I don't know which one to talk about first. This is the old. Have you had the discussion yet with your significant others? When you die, what do you want done? Oh, yeah, yeah, okay, that's what. There's a new option. It's called boil in a bag. We're gonna talk about it. Oh man, this is weird, this is maybe it's not.
Speaker 1:We're gonna talk about it. Plus, uh, we're gonna share some stories with you that, uh, we'll just show you that the world screwed up. You worry about what you've got going on in life.
Speaker 3:No matter what's going on in the world, let's have something fun.
Speaker 1:There's somebody that's got it worse off than you. We're going to talk about that All right Now, before we get started on our bonfire chats, we want to make sure we send out our thank yous quickly First. Sure, we send out our thank yous quickly, uh, first. Uh, to our new sponsor. Uh, the beverage shop here locally, our bottle shop. And then, um, what's the? Uh, the one on the corner, help me out, jeremy, crosstown, crosstown. Uh, bottle shop is actually cool. They did a bourbon drop that, uh, I went to with ponder. We were there at 4.45 in the morning. That's some good liquors. Oh, we did. I'm excited about it. We could have a bourbon tasting at the house now if you want. But this week the Bottle Shop gave us what's the address there? It's on South 9th, it's just by the Dairy Queen, so you can get yourself an ice cream and then go down and get you a malt liquor and pour it on top of it.
Speaker 2:It's like a slushy. Have you a malt? Yeah?
Speaker 1:yeah, it's a true malt. Now, tonight, what Jeremy has brought to us from said sponsor, these are liquid gummies, these are sodas. We have two flavors here a lemon-lime drop and then a cherry drop. They have multiple flavors there at the bottle shop. One of these will cost you $4.99. A four-pack is $17.99. An eight-pack is $29.99. Now this stuff to be able to be sold I said sailed, to be sold in Indiana. It cannot be full THC. No, our neighbors Michigan, Ohio, illinois, they, they're alright with it we have. It's like weed light, it's weed light it's delta 9 yeah, there's delta 8, there's delta 9.
Speaker 1:Now it has the same effects. Yeah, you just gotta drink more of it. You just gotta drink a lot.
Speaker 4:They can't sell it cold though okay, so it's only only warm on the shelf. They cannot sell it cold in the state of Indiana okay.
Speaker 2:So it's only warm on the shelf, they cannot sell it cold in the state of Indiana.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, thanks, indiana.
Speaker 3:Get your shit together.
Speaker 2:So is it like a mixer where, like hey, put this with your vodka too. I would be interested.
Speaker 1:I'm sure there is a chat GBT conversion conversation you can have. If I have 25 milligrams of THC, that is at Delta 9, how much regular THC would that be milligram-wise? Because you can microdose with these things. These are probably it's probably a good price point, because the last thing you want these things to be is $2 a can.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 1:It's the last thing you need.
Speaker 2:I'm never going to get anywhere in this town. Everybody's just driving real slow Pull over man. I can't pull over anymore, man.
Speaker 1:It's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing.
Speaker 3:Kevin's showing us something. You've got it up on the screen there for us. I'm blind, I'm old. Here we go.
Speaker 1:There we go.
Speaker 3:It's a beginner.
Speaker 2:Two and a half to five milligrams is a beginner microdose.
Speaker 1:It's very strong, Very strong oh so these are very strong. Look at you guys go, you may feel euphoria, laughter.
Speaker 3:I'm already there, yeah.
Speaker 1:We need people to drink these before they watch our show.
Speaker 3:Right Dry mouth, red eye. Increased appetite yeah that's called cotton mouth. I don't need that Shit. I take medicine to decrease my appetite.
Speaker 1:Start with two and a half to five milligrams.
Speaker 3:Oh shit.
Speaker 1:I'm in trouble and you're drinking 25.
Speaker 3:If you drink the whole can. It's a whole can.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, because you're just going to sip it and then put it back in the fridge. Is that what you're going to?
Speaker 4:do, kyle said, drink responsibly. If you smoke a lot of weed, then it's going to take two or three.
Speaker 2:Oh gotcha.
Speaker 4:But if you're new to the game, it's going to mess you up on one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay, funny story about that.
Speaker 1:Right. Here's the beauty of if you hang out with us here, if you come down, we will let you sample whatever Jeremy brings us every year. Yeah, absolutely so tonight you could have tried these. These are all legal in the state of Indiana. You are allowed to possess these.
Speaker 2:Does it show up on a drug screen?
Speaker 1:Oh, of course it does, it's.
Speaker 2:THC Employer yeah.
Speaker 1:Actually, I believe last year was the first time in the US that THC consumption passed alcohol consumption by adults in the United States. I believe that, yeah, more people consume THC now than alcohol and you get guys like Joe Rogan that they're like off alcohol now completely.
Speaker 4:There's like there's no Snoop Dogg yeah.
Speaker 3:Willie Nelson Willie.
Speaker 1:There you go.
Speaker 3:So I love them. They're very good, clean tasting, fresh Light.
Speaker 2:Did you try this one? It's very seltzer-ish. Yes, yeah, I'm only doing a sip, because, no, I don't do this stuff.
Speaker 1:Oh man All right.
Speaker 3:Let's go Bottle shop I call it the beverage shop.
Speaker 2:It does taste like green jello.
Speaker 1:This is why we don't have any real sponsors, you think, if I?
Speaker 3:had, we're getting there.
Speaker 1:I need to be able to have a producer like types me all my own shit out, but it was me.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 1:I spent an hour trying to figure out how to get my notes onto my new remarkable and I couldn't do it. So now I got gotta use my phone.
Speaker 2:It's not that remarkable, is it?
Speaker 1:no, no, it's not all right. Uh, thanks again to the bottle shop. Um, also, I want to make sure we thank our buddy, kevin shook, here at e-studios. Uh, global media enterprises. In all seriousness, you know, kevin is doing a ton of stuff down here now, lots of different um, uh, podcasts. I see them on Facebook. I don't know of them too much because they have never invited me on one show. What, no, you would think like maybe we're a liability.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty sure we are. I don't know that they want us on the Wayne County Council podcast for sure. Yeah, well, I can tell you this.
Speaker 1:We've got almost 40,000 listens.
Speaker 2:You think, the Wayne County?
Speaker 1:They need yeah.
Speaker 2:Podcasts. They're going to pass this around. Yeah, why not?
Speaker 3:Well, I'm not being like cool if you did.
Speaker 1:It's legal. It's legal, that's up, man. You know, part of me would love to do a podcast that just focused on this county, because I just social media, media every day, the things that I want to say so much.
Speaker 1:We'll keep that bottled up. No, I got to drive around here and stuff, man, I like a lot of the restaurants. I don't want people spitting in my food or nothing, man. Thanks again, like I said to our buddy Kevin. Also thanks to our Patreon sponsors who help pay the bills. They allow us to make sure that we can continue to keep this program up and legal.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so thank you to them.
Speaker 1:Patreoncom backslash after two beers. If you'd like to support the show, we'd greatly appreciate it. It's pretty cheap. It's $3 a month. It's like a shot, yeah. And we haven't even increased the price with tariffs. No, no, this is pre-tariff pricing. Pre-tariff pricing.
Speaker 3:Get it while it's hot, that's right.
Speaker 1:We don't have to import our humor from anywhere. All right, let's go ahead.
Speaker 3:Are you guys ready to jump into it?
Speaker 1:yeah, let's get into it uh, yeah, both of them, okay. Do you guys want to do sex or boil in a bag first?
Speaker 3:both one could lead to the other.
Speaker 1:Let's do boil in a bag. All right now. This got brought up because, uh, the united kingdom is trying to pass this. Uh, it is legal in um, multiple countries, including the States, but not every state. I believe there's only 30 states, and I don't think Indiana is one of those yet.
Speaker 3:What no?
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:We're the last for everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we'll be able to smoke weed before you can burn or boil a body or something in Indiana, but here's what it is. So, the idea being that and here's the bonfire conversation, and it is simply we're getting older.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, and unfortunately a lot of people that have been very near and dear to me are no longer with us that are approximately my age. Oh, yeah, right, so it is a legit conversation to have with somebody.
Speaker 2:Oh, for sure, so have you had it with Josh. Yes, so have you had it with Josh.
Speaker 1:Yes, so what do you want to be?
Speaker 2:Oh, turn me into ashes, and I don't care what you do with me. Okay, like put me out in the golf course pond, because that's where.
Speaker 1:I spend a lot of time anyway. Yeah, right, or you know what I mean. I thought you were going to say the bar.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean to be fair To be fair.
Speaker 1:She's like just put me on a couch with a cell phone. That's right, I'll be fine, I'll be good Play some.
Speaker 2:Sudoku and pour a little high noon Cremated, yeah Cremated, everybody's going cremated.
Speaker 3:Stick me up in a closet somewhere.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my dad is hanging out in my mom's closet right now. I swear it's like in a bowling ball box, like size. And yeah, it's like I know when she passes, then I'm like god, I gotta take care of both of them I gotta do boxes all around I knew I'd have my parents back together.
Speaker 1:All right, let's jump back into this boil in a bag. So basically, you have two choices right now in the united states. Right for the most part you can be buried or cremated. Yeah, those are your two now. I would think they would get into the firework thing and start doing like I know. I have also seen where you can do tree pods, yeah, which would be weird oh, it's so weird, body grown a tree.
Speaker 4:I don't yeah we actually do that, you blow up yeah, we've had many requests from people. It's kind of cool. I won't tell you who, but some of the bigger shells that we shoot. So we'll shoot that at the end or maybe let them know when we're shooting it and then they take a picture of it.
Speaker 2:Oh nice.
Speaker 4:And then they mount that picture Look at Fred, yeah. And then we actually they bring the ashes, and then we actually they bring the ashes.
Speaker 2:and then we actually probably shouldn't say this, but we actually tape it on top of the shell, all right, yeah, oh, it's wild In a bag, and then they go.
Speaker 1:Wow Okay.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That would be one heck of a town hall meeting to attend.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Hey, that's what she wants To be blown up in a firework, yep.
Speaker 2:I'm good with that. Make it one of those bacon sizzler fireworks. Those are my favorites.
Speaker 4:You know the ones that are like the sizzle at the end. Yeah, sizzler, I like those in the golden showers, I want mine. Yeah, you do, I want a little missile.
Speaker 2:Little spermies. Yeah, a thousand of them.
Speaker 1:So, all right, Boil in a bag. All right, boil in a bag. What is this? Basically, the idea is just like it's a cremation. It's a water cremation that consists of using water and alkaline chemicals at a high temperature to rapidly decompose the body. The body is loaded into a pressure vessel. This is what it looks like.
Speaker 1:It looks like the iron lung off. The Big Lebowski does right. But uh, they put the body inside of there. The liquid gets up to about 160 degrees celsius and uh, it basic. And then they shake it. It's, it's like it's like a paint shake.
Speaker 2:So it's, so it's the normal temperature for us women to take our showers right? It's like a pressure cooker for humans, right?
Speaker 1:now here's the weird part about it. Okay, uh as it, uh, you get done. Now there is still going to be some uh debris left yeah, some bones and things, uh, yeah yeah, that's what they're making.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's honestly, what if you got metal in your body, like me? We're gonna make some noodles.
Speaker 2:We're going to have some camomile noodles. All of that will still be in there.
Speaker 1:Okay, but the liquid, which they call effluent, can be poured down the drain with other wastewater. Apparently, it doesn't contain any tissue or DNA, so you're not going to have to worry about some random Teenage Mutant, ninja, turtle kind of situation. They describe the color as brown, resembling tea, or like an ale Sludge, yeah, and the water goes down and then what's left is a little bit of debris that they cook up for you and they turn it into this white powder.
Speaker 1:So then, what do you do with it? Well, same thing Throw it on a firework or whatever. But the whole point of this is that it is much more beneficial to the environment, because it takes a ton of carbon to burn up a human being, whereas this is basically you're cooking them down. This is like what they do when they treat heads, like when you've dated or been married to dudes throw heads on a wall. Would you ever have? That's just weird to me.
Speaker 2:Deer heads on a wall. I don't get it. Yeah, I was going to say you might want to go a little bit further into that. It's deer heads, Just not a normal noggin.
Speaker 1:So let's get back into it here. The sludge it goes down, and you're doing it because it eventually I mean essentially you're cremated anyway.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right. Yeah, but it's just safer for the environment.
Speaker 2:So but are you still using, like the same type of energy to be able to boil somebody.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, I'm sure there's some science involved here that I am not diving into on said podcast, but I'm assuming it gives off less smoke and I'm being serious.
Speaker 3:There's got to be an exhaust fume. No, just go ahead and burn me, I'm good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't really want to be chicken stock.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, a lot of the reason people are weirded out by it is because they said I'm washed down the drain. Yes, you are literally in a sewer with everyone's shit and rats and I don't know that they've done enough testing on this.
Speaker 2:They're like the water filtration system is not going to like. People are going to be drinking me with their tap water.
Speaker 1:Girl, you ain't got to worry about that. Your ex-husband lived next to a cemetery and it was on a well. Oh yeah, when him and Larry they lived and there was a cemetery between them, they were out in the middle of nowhere. I guarantee you it was well water. That's exactly what that is. It's just been ground filtrated. She never thought of that. You were drinking bone broth way back in the day before you even realized it. I will say I'm a cremated kind of guy too. I don't know. I'm going to let others decide if they want to do a viewing, because I won't be there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know it won't be At that point, I'll be over it. And so if they want to do the cremation this style or not, my only thought is I almost like this one better. Just because it's warming up, you can be like oh, oh shit, and wake up. The idea of waking up in the like I don't know freaks me out, man.
Speaker 3:You know they used to bury people alive all the time. So I had to put that bell in there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, can you imagine That'd be the worst fucking way to go? I'd rather burn to death than get drowned.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Than be buried alive Because you're going to lay there for days, yes, days, days, days with no phone. That's the worst. Bury me with a phone. Alright, let's get back into the fun stuff here. I'm just saying I'd be interested to know. We're both or all three of us in our late 40s. Jeremy's in the other room, have you had the conversation about what happens if, like tomorrow morning, you don't wake up? What's?
Speaker 4:up. I just was telling them I did and we have, and at first everybody's like we won't be cremated, it doesn't matter. And I was like absolutely not, because the thought of burning is not me, even though I'm dead, it doesn't matter. I just don't like that thought. Secondly, I don't want to be buried in the ground.
Speaker 2:I don't like bugs.
Speaker 3:I'm freaked out.
Speaker 2:I don't like bugs. You need a mausoleum, like you said. Chris, I know you're like. I don't want to like. Ah no, I don't. I can't even be in an MRI machine. You know what I mean? I'm like ugh.
Speaker 4:But the other thing was I'm thinking now I want to. The only thing I said was if we get enough insurance money when I die. I said I want a shrine and I want a firework shrine and I want a bench for people to come visit me. That's the main thing that I said Wherever I'm at, I want a bench so someone can sit there and talk to me. Whether I hear you or not, it doesn't matter, I want your butt coming to visit.
Speaker 3:I'm going to strap him to a big firework and shoot him up in the air. You are the most selfish. I want you to come tell me you blew your fingers off.
Speaker 4:This is the most selfish dead man I've ever heard he's like.
Speaker 1:I want to be above ground.
Speaker 3:I want to be in a turquoise, strapping him to a firework you gotta think about like this when Bird Saul passed away he's buried in Earlham and I get to go visit.
Speaker 4:I like that.
Speaker 2:I don't. That's not how I want to remember people.
Speaker 4:It's not that I remember them that way, I just like to go somewhere, but then Parker passed away and I wasn't able to see him, because because he's in a, you know.
Speaker 1:I got to tell you, man, I talk to my dad, my grandparents all the time and I can do it in my garage, I can do it in the basement.
Speaker 2:That's my thinking.
Speaker 3:And the last place that I want to go is the beach You'd be talking to everybody Right.
Speaker 4:So, to answer to your, it's up in the air, up in the air.
Speaker 2:See, and you want like a whole bench where people will come to talk to you. That's cool, though, so here's my thoughts. I don't even know that I want a viewing, because if you can't see me while I'm alive, don't come visit while I'm dead.
Speaker 4:Well, maybe it is for the people that are here. You're going to need to come see my business.
Speaker 1:We're getting into some deep shit here, no, but no, I'm just, it is campfire stuff it's after about a case and you're getting that.
Speaker 2:I love you man, you can't even reach out while I'm alive. Don't come over there acting like you're sad because I'm gone.
Speaker 1:She is getting bitter, all of a sudden. I'm just saying no more tea she for you. No more tea I only took a sip.
Speaker 4:I took one sip.
Speaker 3:Man Take another one, please. What else are we talking?
Speaker 1:about what else you got. You know it's funny. Before we move on to sex talk, I will say I was watching the riots or the protests this is, I'm not going to any of that kind of, but anyway I was watching the videos. This was like two or three nights ago and the guy it was on CNN he goes and it's a pretty chill pot, more or less. Like he didn't say the word chill, he's like it's pretty cool, it's pretty or hank, you know no one's being violent or blah, blah, blah, and he goes and there's a strong smell of marijuana in the air and I go. That's why everybody's fucking chill like you know, they just dude.
Speaker 2:We're out here making our point yeah, all right.
Speaker 1:Uh, let's go into our second bonfire conversation and, uh, if you thought boiling a bag was going to be an awkward talk, this one's going to be very interesting. Adam evecom just released a, uh a study that, uh, I guess it'd be just a poll no fun yeah it is all right, 81 of adults, that's a lot of us, that's a lot admit to having sexual dreams on the regular.
Speaker 1:85 of males said they did. 78 of females said they also experienced sexual dreams. Now here's the interesting part 59, 68%, 68% males, 50% females. So there's two females in here, one of you, according to the study, says they experience full orgasm as a part of the dream.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, I don't ever remember my dream, so Am I walking in my sleep?
Speaker 1:81% of adults admit to sexual dreams. Do you both have sexual dreams? I don't remember my dreams?
Speaker 2:I don't dream at all.
Speaker 1:Oh, you guys are so funny. No, I don't, Seriously.
Speaker 2:I probably have like one dream a month that I ever even like wake up and go. Oh shit, I dreamed, but no, I really don't remember Back when, you were younger, you both had sexual dreams. Oh yeah, when I was younger.
Speaker 4:See, Dalton, you had to ask the right question. Oh yeah, Younger.
Speaker 3:Are we talking about? Yesterday, yesterday, that was like a week ago.
Speaker 1:Not now.
Speaker 2:Yeah of course not now Back in my prime.
Speaker 3:I was too drunk, trying not to piss the bed, oh man.
Speaker 1:See, this is where I wish you got. You don't know that you can't remember ever any of your dreams.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, there's got to be something psychological wrong with both of you.
Speaker 4:I don't know what that is. I call bullshit on both of them.
Speaker 2:Well, I think you snore right. Yeah, yeah we probably don't get to full REM sleep.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I guarantee that we don't get the amount of REM sleep that we should. Yeah.
Speaker 3:To be able to remember that we dreamed. I need to see that I've had two sleep studies. I know I'm just not paying for that shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah so do you remember these? Yeah, I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 1:No, I'm a human fucking being. Like you got to understand our whole body and our mind was developed tens of thousands of years, yeah, and like we only had two goals up until, like, religion came around. Fighting and fucking. It was fucking and eating. It was fighting. That was it. We had to eat to stay alive, right, and we had to procreate because we wanted to live on. Yeah, that's what we wanted to do. No, that's why there's so many restaurants. Right, that's what we wanted to do.
Speaker 2:That's why there's so many restaurants.
Speaker 1:Right, oh my God, that's why OnlyFans people are making tens of millions of dollars because we like to fuck and fight and eat. Fuck, fight and eat. Tell me I'm wrong, You're right. This is why we are the number one podcast in Richmond, Indiana.
Speaker 4:Because, we are talking about shit like this, shit like this F-F-E F-F number one podcast in Richmond, indiana.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, because we are talking about shit like this Shit, like this T-shirt and FFE, ffe, man, yeah, that's what I used to call my condoms back in the day Boil in a bag boys.
Speaker 1:Now I will say You've got five kids.
Speaker 2:You didn't use condoms. I know, yeah.
Speaker 1:The three-foot water in them. Throw them at. People Right 59%, 68% of males and 50% of females.
Speaker 3:I mean I can't say that I haven't had them, but I just don't remember. No, this is an orgasm.
Speaker 1:Oh, maybe, and it happens because of REM sleep, breathing and heart rate increase, which increases blood flow throughout the body, and this includes the genitalia, nice, which can make them hypersensitive to stimulation of any kind. So, basically, if you wear some underwear that have some ribs or something and you get a good night's sleep. Yeah, you're going to be woken up, yeah.
Speaker 2:So do you think that if you're loud that you wake yourself up, Do what you wake yourself? That if you're loud that you wake yourself?
Speaker 1:up, do what.
Speaker 2:You wake yourself up if you're a loner or a screamer.
Speaker 1:I want to know more about why you guys can't remember your dreams. I feel like that's something wrong.
Speaker 2:It might be Probably.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's wild because you and Josh go to bed at like 8.30.
Speaker 2:I don't fall asleep at 8.30.
Speaker 1:You lay down at 830 at night.
Speaker 2:I gotta watch some. You lay in bed at 8.
Speaker 1:It doesn't even get dark now at almost 10.
Speaker 2:I know that's about when I normally fall asleep.
Speaker 3:I don't go to sleep until about 1, 2 if I'm lucky. Yeah, that's me too. That's probably why?
Speaker 1:because I get up at 6.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But you can't remember your dreams. But you can't remember your dreams, mine are like I'm not saying anyway.
Speaker 3:I wake up with sticky shorts. I'm like that must have been a good dream. That's a good dream right there. I don't remember it, but it's a good dream.
Speaker 2:Yeah, those sleep shorts only lasted two days.
Speaker 3:That's right, right, I go on the walk, oh, crunchy front.
Speaker 1:That's another thing I want to do a bonfire discussion on is how long people sleep. I didn't realize you and Ponder get eight hours a night. That's impressive to me.
Speaker 2:Mine's between six and eight. That's impressive. That is impressive. I mean I just I'm telling you Six is a good night, it's a good night. If I get less than six, I feel it the next day.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm not saying, I don't feel it. It I'm saying, my body just physically cannot sleep yeah like I, if I go lay down at 8 30 at night, I will lay there till 2 in the morning I'll be up 18 times yeah, I literally could not lay down do you have your? Phone in your hand. No, no, you can ask a man, I throw it on the charger. I am not that dude, but I will lay in bed for an hour and a half.
Speaker 2:Now if I'm playing my little my games on my phone, then a lot of times it's later.
Speaker 1:but no, I've even tried call maps and we have blackout curtains and the whole deal. She used to be splurting shit on the old pillowcases I like lavender, oh, the lavender All that's, and I'm just laying there going.
Speaker 2:Magnesium.
Speaker 1:You know, I wonder how much.
Speaker 4:Melatonin.
Speaker 2:I was going to say melatonin and magnesium are a great mix.
Speaker 3:It's not true.
Speaker 1:Not true, not true, we'll find out. Yeah, what?
Speaker 2:strain is that. Are you going to be sleepy or are you going to be like?
Speaker 1:wondering around a marathon. It's been strained good. It's pretty clear there ain't nothing what you got to do.
Speaker 4:Dutch is put on a nice little movie and one of those love sappy movies. You know You'll get bored and fall right asleep.
Speaker 3:I watched the first 48 for a couple hours there you go, no wonder, all right.
Speaker 1:Well, those are our conversation starters for you. If you're hanging out with some friends and family this weekend, it's supposed to rain a bunch. Yeah, maybe we'll get Kim and Josh to stay up to maybe 10 o'clock. Woo, it's a weekend.
Speaker 3:It's been wild. Stay up this weekend. We like to party.
Speaker 2:To be fair, even on the weekends, our dogs wake us up super early.
Speaker 1:Well, you act like we've never had kids or dogs. Like I get it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you've got a doggy door and your dogs just go out on their own. I have to get up and let them out, because I can't let them out all night, Otherwise that one, the big one.
Speaker 1:I'm going to have cops call because he barks all night and we have so many critters. Like it's just, we've already had him spray with his cunk once. The last thing I need is waking up to that in my face in the middle of the night. Anyway, Anyway, I got doggy door for the kids too, they're fine. Yeah, doggy door worked fine for them. Yep, all right, here is our first story. You guys ready to jump in some stories? Yes, what do you got?
Speaker 3:All right, this is a great story by the way, is this the one I sent you?
Speaker 1:Yes, Actually, the story was sent to me by a friend of ours as well. Oh nice, yeah, I love when people send me stories and I told her. I'm like I'm going to include this one for sure. A 40-year-old man in Kentucky is named Jonathan Mason. He was arrested for releasing a wild raccoon into a bar. I love it, he wild raccoon into a bar. I love it. He allegedly did it because they threw him out and he warned him. And they warned him not to return. I have so many fucking questions.
Speaker 3:It was only like 9.40 at night.
Speaker 2:Yes, how do you get kicked out before 9.40? It's Kentucky.
Speaker 1:I want to know, did he just Maybe?
Speaker 2:JP was sleeping at the bar.
Speaker 3:He just went back to the trash can found a little critter. He looks happy about it. He goes yeah, I'd fucking do it again.
Speaker 1:His nickname as you see, is Cowboy Cody.
Speaker 3:Oh my.
Speaker 1:Now what makes Cowboy Cody even more interesting is this isn't the first time he's had a run-in with the law involving an animal.
Speaker 2:Okay, so for one. It doesn't even say that it was a bar, it says it was a restaurant.
Speaker 1:Even better.
Speaker 2:Back in.
Speaker 1:December old cowboy Cody went to a rye, went to the liquor store, got drunkenly, rode there. So I'm guessing this is a DUI. He rode a mule, yes All right, this guy loves animals.
Speaker 3:He does. I call him Drunken Doolittle, hanging out in Kentucky.
Speaker 1:I want to know did he have the raccoon in the car?
Speaker 3:He probably went to the back trash can Just grab it, just grab one.
Speaker 1:And now the raccoon did bite somebody, yeah, which? Yeah, it makes me sad because you know they put it down Because they got to test it for rabies. But that other person is probably going to get shot. Ah, right there yeah, who wore it better? Who wore it better?
Speaker 3:I'm smiling because I'm in Vegas, right? Oh, he's smiling because he's just threw a raccoon in a bar. I mean, don't give me any fucking ideas around here. Do you remember the lady in?
Speaker 1:Ohio that had the meth smoking raccoon.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:She doesn't have a permit to keep him. His name's Chewy, and she refuses to surrender him. What, yeah? I don't blame her, but I'm assuming she's going to go to jail.
Speaker 3:Oh, I'm sure Again Chewy.
Speaker 1:I don't know if he'll be allowed, he can hang out with Cowboy Cody Right and his attack tack-coons. This is like on the Simpsons the cat lady that just throws cats at people. This guy just throws raccoons.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna go back here. There's gotta be something back here. All right, you guys ready for your next story?
Speaker 1:Let's do it let's jump down to the beautiful state of Florida.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh yeah, you know, I mentioned Southern Indiana.
Speaker 1:I've got a lot of strip club stories in my life. I don't know why that is, but I mentioned one time taking a gentleman that was not of US direct descent to a strip club in Anaheim and it was all kinds of interesting. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, apparently it's not unique to just people from India. This also appears to be an issue from people from Saudi Arabia. 21-year-old man got arrested in Clearwater, florida, on Sunday. He called 911. He said he had been to a strip club and a stripper would not have sex with him. It happened at a place called Oz's Gentleman's Club.
Speaker 3:Let me guess she told you she loves you too.
Speaker 1:Oh my God. He originally is from Saudi Arabia and they don't have strip club, they don't even have alcohol, and he probably wasn't familiar with how they do things here. He didn't realize that at the end of the night they really don't love you.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 1:Charity is not her real name. My favorite part of this whole thing is he told 911 that he requested sex from a staff member and gave them $300. Sucker but then they took him to the private room and did not sex him up. As he quote says I just want to hear that $300 price is their price for the 30-minute VIP champagne room package. He was still on the phone when the police got there. Now I'm warning this poor bastard. They show up and he's like.
Speaker 2:Well, that's prostitution.
Speaker 1:You cannot do that, no they arrested him because he abused 911. It wasn't anything else?
Speaker 2:You didn't even get him for solicitation no.
Speaker 1:He can't solicit, he's trying to buy. This is the difference of them trying to Okay. Yeah, I mean, this is what happens at bars basically every night, everywhere. Okay, that's what guys are out doing. They're like I bought that girl $300 in drinks and she did not sex him up. Nope doing.
Speaker 2:They're like I bought that girl $300 in drinks and she did not sex him up.
Speaker 1:Nope, did not sex me up. They arrested him for misusing 911 and released him the same day on $500 bail.
Speaker 3:Oh man, I mean yeah, he probably didn't.
Speaker 1:What are you in for? I didn't get laid.
Speaker 3:I gave them money. They didn't do nothing.
Speaker 2:Say less man.
Speaker 1:You know, if Americans called 911 every time they tried to have sex and they weren't allowed, how many 911 call operators there would need to be?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Oh my wife, she's not having sex.
Speaker 3:No, no sex me up tonight. You got to call 8-1-1. It's call before you bury it. Oh that's a good one. You're welcome.
Speaker 1:That's good, that's a good one, man. That sounds like a bottle shop conversation right there. Speaking of drinks, this one comes to us from New Mexico. Speaking of drinks, this one comes to us from New Mexico. Three months ago, there was a junior varsity baseball team. They were playing another team in Mexico, there, new Mexico rather. Is it New America now? Oh, I don't know, since it can't be the Gulf of Mexico with the Gulf of America is it the New America?
Speaker 3:No, think about that. Campfire, campfire, campfire. That's our next one.
Speaker 1:Seriously, yeah. Has no one shown him a state map? It's like.
Speaker 3:What's that one right there Looks good. I love it Needs to be bigger. What's this big island up here? Oh man, it's ours.
Speaker 1:All right, limes kick it in Apparently. As the JV baseball team was playing another team there, a 16-year-old admitted to peeing in the opposing team's water jug during the game. How did he get over there, I don't know. Well clearly he was riding the pine. Yeah, no shit. I wonder if it was between a doubleheader or something, but according to an email that was sent out to parents At the time of the incident, some students drank from the contaminated jug and due to that the teen was facing 15 battery charges.
Speaker 1:One for each person who drank the water, but all the charges went away. They're not going to be charged with it. The reason why this lady right here, jessica Martinez, said that New Mexico doesn't have a statute that makes it criminal for someone to mess with someone else's food and or pee in a water bottle. Not yet Right, it will tomorrow. She said now, while the act is gross and not right, it's not morally right, it's not a crime.
Speaker 2:Well, you, can't like spit on anybody without being a battery crime. Well, you can't spit on anybody without it being a battery charge.
Speaker 1:Well, but this is food or drink.
Speaker 3:Let's go to New Mexico. That's another campfire story.
Speaker 1:People are like oh man, guess what I'm doing. I work tomorrow in the coffee. How often do you think this stuff? I'm telling you this happens way more than I do.
Speaker 3:I need a liter of cola.
Speaker 2:I was going to say how much spit or urine do you think that you guys have accidentally had to drink?
Speaker 3:I'm sure a ton Spiders and bugs.
Speaker 1:It's like the oh, what was I? Just my brain's going Gone.
Speaker 2:It was the spiders and bugs that threw me off.
Speaker 3:Oh, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:No, it'll come back to me. Just talk amongst yourselves.
Speaker 3:Talk amongst yourselves.
Speaker 1:Oh, I know what it was Fight club.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, it's when they come up to him in the restaurant and they told him, like tonight, these foods are clean.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, and I'm telling you, or like waiting and then just throw the food on the ground, bat wings or whatever it's called.
Speaker 1:I do like uh in um road trip with horatio sands. He turned out to be just an for no uh sugar no powdered sugar.
Speaker 3:And he's eating it, tossing them up, dropping them in his face. It's delicious it's delicious.
Speaker 4:I just told him that story you were talking about that. Oh yeah, Road trip where he's in his butt, crack Like yes, he's doing deep thunt like lunges.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's gross. So anyway, this 16-year-old is not being charged with anything.
Speaker 2:All right. So there you go, just pee- pee away, I no repercussions for anything you do there apparently.
Speaker 3:I mean he's 16.
Speaker 1:Ooh listen, I've heard getting salty.
Speaker 2:Man yeah.
Speaker 1:This is why we get drinks in her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, talking about shit.
Speaker 1:What do you think they should have done to this kid?
Speaker 3:I mean it's okay with him not getting charged. I mean I know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you still need to scare the shit out of him, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm sure he was scared after that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Facing 15 charges.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, Speaking of being scared, there was a guy who was making a flight and he was afraid he was going to miss his flight, so he came up with a plan His His name, 23-year-old John Robinson. He was late for his Spirit Airlines flight from Detroit to LA last Thursday.
Speaker 3:It was delayed.
Speaker 2:It was going to leave on time anyway. We're right, had no chance Now.
Speaker 1:John did what I would consider to be one of the dumbest ideas to try to get the flight on time. He called in a bomb threat. The plane was still there and they did have to remove all the passengers, interview them, screen them again, and then they finally left. Six hours later, John was excited. He made his flight. He was arrested when he arrived at the airport later that day to take a different flight.
Speaker 3:He didn't even make it for that one.
Speaker 1:He didn't even go to that flight. It sounds like he wasn't going to be able to take the delayed flight anyway, so I guess the bomb threat was pointless. These guys are fucking idiot. Kevin put together a little. He does these little snippets. And he had one the other day, where it just starts with me and all I'm saying is what did?
Speaker 3:I say Booger eating morons.
Speaker 1:I said people are fucking idiots. We're surrounded by booger-eating morons. Here is another one, this guy. They were easily. It was easy to find John, because all they did was trace the call back to his phone using his phone records, caller ID. Oh, they store 69 to his ass.
Speaker 3:I got you bitch.
Speaker 1:He later admitted to the FBI that he made the call with the hope that it would delay the flight long enough for him to make it. He was charged maliciously for giving false information about an explosive. Oh yeah, he's dumb yeah.
Speaker 3:Toodaloo Like come on now, dude, and he didn't even make the flight. Oh, even the second one you know that caused him extra money and you know it was spirit. Oh, he was out like $30.
Speaker 2:Unless he had luggage.
Speaker 1:We've got one more story here. There were so many that I passed on this week, for instance, and I'm not trying to make light of this one. This one just happened today. Did you guys see the flight in India?
Speaker 1:Oh, yes, that crash killed 290 people only one survivor so far, and it sounds like that movie glass, the breakable movie. Oh yeah, you know, like, how can you imagine being on a flight uh, and it's not just um, people on the plane that pass, but let's say predominantly 275 or so can you imagine being on a plane 275 and you're the only one that walks away?
Speaker 2:That's crazy Like survivor guilt I don't know.
Speaker 3:Maybe if you had family A lot of people on 9-11 had survivor guilt.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, it's a real you know yeah. It's a weird deal, yeah.
Speaker 3:I've seen a video of that today.
Speaker 1:That's crazy, that video Of the plane that today. That's crazy. That video, the plane yeah, huge plane Plane never had any problems.
Speaker 3:Takes off.
Speaker 1:It's just like and then just massive. Oh, wow, and landed in a residential neighborhood.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:Or in a populated area. Anyway, didn't want to talk about that one for obvious reasons. Yeah, didn't want to talk about the riots or the protests, or whatever you want to call them, because we're here to have a good time last thing right plus, we got to make sure that, uh, we bring up good stories about sexual dreams that you two can't admit to me and jimmy can't remember that.
Speaker 2:Next, next, I'm sure kevin does next podcast, I'm gonna talk about every one of them, right?
Speaker 1:I'm gonna start hope you're in them too. I do too, you better write them down. High-fiving each other or what I want to see what the old chat GPT picture looks like of sexual dreams with you two Like this oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:No, I don't dream about anything, hardly ever. It's like once a month. Maybe I'll dream about something.
Speaker 1:You sound like you have no soul. I don't dream.
Speaker 2:I don't dream.
Speaker 1:Dreams are for sissies. All right, here's our last story, this one interesting one.
Speaker 3:We'll just jump right into it.
Speaker 1:You know, Ozympic has become very, very popular. Male. Ozympic users saying that their penises have gotten bigger since they started injecting the weight loss shot, not into their penis.
Speaker 3:You can just see more of it.
Speaker 1:It says dozens of well-endowed fellas are flocking to online forums to fawn.
Speaker 3:Were they really well-endowed before? They couldn't see.
Speaker 1:It doesn't make your dick any bigger, it's just the block of the sun right, you know what I mean. You can just see it better, yeah you know how you trim your trees and you're like oh, my grass is growing better.
Speaker 1:It's because it's got more sunlight to it, right? It's the same kind of thing If you take the shed off the lawn, there might be something that still pops up out of there. Uh, they're actually calling it um ozempic dick. Um, it's still, I'm serious, it's the phenom. So, if you can hear but apparently this isn't unique to just men women are experiencing something called ozempic mouth. Um, its uh side effect is marked by pronounced folds at the corners of the mouth, noticeable wrinkles on the lips and sagging skin along the lip contours and chin area, and they're blaming that. And really it's the same.
Speaker 2:That's any time you lose weight. Well, that's what the wieners are getting bigger and they have to get their mouth around it Stretching out the mouth. You're welcome folks. The jowls are just stretched now.
Speaker 1:Like a snake eating an egg.
Speaker 3:You gotta unhinge them jowls and relax. Oh my God Take it in.
Speaker 1:Best show on.
Speaker 3:Sorry, it's the only carbs I had today.
Speaker 1:I wonder if he has to come in like sanitize the area when we're done, like before other shows like because of others requests.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they're like those guys are skinny he goes in first because, yeah, I got more wrinkles, my mouth hurts and this. Have you done anything lately?
Speaker 1:no, he's taking a zimp it though, and I just started, oh yeah yeah, well, I'll tell you right now if guys were promised more of that, there wouldn't be an overweight man in the world. I'm just kidding. We love food. We do.
Speaker 3:Food's good.
Speaker 1:All right, I think we're going to wrap it up at the end of that when we're almost at an hour.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I love it and thanks again for tuning into this week's show. Uh, if you're out hanging out with your friends and family, uh, and you're enjoying what we're chatting about with here, just share us. That's honestly the I get asked all the time. A good friend of mine, jeremy screddy, um, lisa kenney, asked me one time what can we do to help the show and, in all honesty, if you think what we're doing is good, just share it I can share it, just have people you know watch it or say, hey, give these guys a shot, it's fun.
Speaker 1:And uh, we're really just here, like, uh, jeremy Scretty said earlier um, we're just here to like, have a good sucks.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So we're here to make it as short as possible. What is this? What was that? Anyway, yeah, share the show for us. Thanks again to our Patreon sponsors. Thanks again to the Bottle Shop here in Richmond tonight providing us with these gummies that I got to tell you. We've only been consuming these now for about 40 minutes, and it's a good thing. I have a DD. There you go yeah because I've only had well, three beers, I guess. So yeah, anyway, for me that's still. There's something to these things.
Speaker 3:There's something in them.
Speaker 1:Then why is it sparkling? Why is it sparkling?
Speaker 3:It's only a soda. It's only a soda, it's only a soda.
Speaker 1:Oh man, don't let your kids get a hold of these. No, you'll have to buy more groceries this summer. I said thanks to our Patreon sponsors, thanks to the Bottle Shop Also. We've got trivia coming up next Saturday, a week from this Saturday on the. Give me a date there. What?
Speaker 2:is that 21st 21, saturday on the give me a date there, 21st.
Speaker 1:That is at the VFW here in Richmond on South 8th.
Speaker 3:Is it a different start time this time? I think we're 6th.
Speaker 1:We're pushing it back a little bit. It's going to be okay for Josh because it's on the weekend. It is the weekend, so we should be done by about 8, 830.
Speaker 2:You'll be fine and they do serve food, so come hungry they. So we should be done by about 8, 830. You'll be fine, and they do serve food, so come hungry yeah.
Speaker 1:They have all kinds of stuff there, so check that out. Also, if this is something that you're like, I could do this. Like these guys aren't that special and I probably could be more interesting at it. Reach out to Kevin. Kevin will help you settle these up. I'm interested. Kevin has been doing a lot of expansion here and I believe he's close to doing live versions of these and I think the After Two Beers podcast would be the best live podcast that he does out in the public, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, everybody else can just ride the coattails.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Learn what we're doing.
Speaker 3:Just hang on, just walk.
Speaker 1:Why don't you invite us to your show Right?
Speaker 3:Right One time One time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I want to be on the city show. That's right, we could talk about fun stuff. Yeah, you know boil in a bag. We could be the first city in the Midwest that predominantly focuses on boils in the bags.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's great, All right.
Speaker 1:All right, you know we say that at the end of every show. We're here to have a good time, but in, you know again, life's hard, yes, and we all go through things different times, different places in our life, and we, honestly, are here just to have a good time. We all don't make a single penny off this, that's true. We are here just to have a good time and that's what we want to help everyone else do is just have a good time. Enjoy yourselves, enjoy your friends, enjoy your family and do us a favor. If there's a person in your life, maybe it's a family friend, maybe it's someone you've known for a long time, maybe it's just somebody you work with. If they look like they're struggling they probably are Just ask them how they're doing, how you been. Maybe you want to go have lunch or something. You'd be surprised how something so small might mean the one thing that keeps them up the next morning. All right, gibbler, Puddin, yep, without further ado, we will talk to them all next time After two beers.