After 2 Beers

#191 After 2 Beers: Escaped Chimp at the Indianapolis Zoo, Bayou Bodies, And Bear Warnings

• After 2 Beers • Episode 191

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A chimp wanders a public path at the Indianapolis Zoo, two endangered tortoises vanish in the night...also at the Indy Zoo, and a city pulls 189 bodies from its bayous. We start with laughs and local love—bourbon drops, sweet wine, and sponsor shoutouts—then dive headlong into the gritty questions beneath the headlines: what do zoos owe the animals they exhibit, and when does education turn into confinement? We revisit Harambe with fresh eyes, unpack why tranquilizers aren’t instant, and weigh the split-second ethics of lethal force when a child’s life is at risk.

From there, we take a hard look at Houston’s waterways: homicides, drownings, and that unsettling category called “unexplained.” Are officials minimizing risk, or is uncertainty part of the truth? The thread leads to something bigger—how fear and media shape our choices. Unlocked doors used to be normal; now every porch has a camera and nerves run hot. We talk about bear attacks in Japan, asteroid gossip, and why rare risks hijack the brain while everyday safety gets ignored.

Then comes the gut punch: imagine a nuclear strike with fifteen minutes’ warning. Do you call the body shop or your mom? Blast your favorite song or sit still and breathe? Could anyone even leave town? The thought experiment strips life down to essentials—time, truth, and the people beside you. We keep it honest and human, mixing gallows humor with practical insight, and circle back to the same heartbeat: community. Check on your friends this season. Share a drink, a laugh, or just a message. If you enjoy the ride—zoo ethics, bayou mysteries, bear warnings, bourbon, and all—tap follow, share with a friend, and leave a quick review so more curious minds can find the show.

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SPEAKER_02:

Welcome to the After Two Years podcast. I'm Dutch Dawn. Joined as always by my cohorts, Miss Kimberly Ross.

SPEAKER_04:

That's me.

SPEAKER_02:

Michael Summers. What's going on? And old Jeremy Screddy's hanging out with Kevin Shook. In the back. There he is. Yeah. And Danny Dimes. And Daniel looking back.

SPEAKER_00:

My brother's here tonight.

SPEAKER_02:

He looks like a mummy sitting back there. You just let it move it. Yeah. Yeah. Shane's in the house tonight, too. So we got all kinds of people with explosive experience in the uh in there. So uh this is your first time hanging out with us. We greatly appreciate you stopping by. Yeah. Uh after two beers is basically uh some Gin Xers like us. We talk about things that are going on in the world. We have two minimums as a or two minimum drink policy to begin the show. Yes, it's not a maximum. Everybody I get asked. Loosen the yeah. Tonight um I want to talk about the Indianapolis zoo. Yeah. Um, and just zoos in general, and things that go down at zoos. And then uh apparently Houston is having a problem with finding dead bodies in a bayou. Oh yeah, hundreds to hundreds of bodies in in less than 10 years. Yeah, but it's not a problem. It's not a problem, though. Nah, it's nothing to worry about. I mean, that's just it's what is it?

SPEAKER_04:

What's the number? 220?

SPEAKER_02:

189, 189 dead bodies since 2017.

SPEAKER_04:

So until it hits 220, it's not a problem, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, six seven. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. Oh, also, Putin's got a story about why you shouldn't go to Japan right now. Yeah, you're getting attacked by bears. I thought you meant like those big burly gay guys.

SPEAKER_05:

That might be having to do that.

SPEAKER_02:

You don't know that expression?

SPEAKER_05:

No.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I would be a bear if I was gay. Yeah. Based on the way I'm built and chest hair and the whole deal.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh beard.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. In the beard. Oh, yeah. I'd be like a cubby. I honestly think that's what little guys like me would be called. Oh shit. This is where I was. AJ's fighting back problems. Otherwise, she could clear this up for us for sure. All right. If we have the notes, she might be watching. She could help me out. I think I'd be called a cub. Yeah. Hey, do what you want to do. Man, it's cool. Yeah. Let your freak crab five. I'd call you a furry. A furry? No. I ain't putting nothing in my butt. Uh, anyway, welcome to our show. Yes. I haven't even talked about our sponsors yet.

SPEAKER_05:

I'm out here talking about that kind of shit.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, we want to make sure we thank everybody that makes this possible. Our buddy Kevin Shook here at Global Media Enterprises. Uh, he's also been working with us now as we work uh with the firehouse doing podcasts. Uh you'd be a cub. There it is. There it's she timed it. She knew exactly what I was talking about. I think we've had this conversation before. Uh yeah. I'd be a cub. Just patting a bunny. Uh yeah. So uh if we're doing lots of trivia. We're going to be at the VFW this Saturday. Uh actually, I've offdated our webpage. If you go to after2beers.com, that's the number two. Uh, I've got a calendar on there, and uh you can follow us that way. Also, I have made sure to put at least through the end of the year all of our dates on Facebook. So you can go out there and mark yourself down as interested or going, and we would greatly appreciate it. Absolutely. Uh, if you look at uh our backgrounds here, we are clearly after two beers. There's liquor all over this thing. This is all thanks to the bottle shop here locally on uh South Ninth here in Richmond. Now, um, they've got one of the coolest events that I think is in the area when it comes to liquor. Um, that's a weird thing to say, right? Like I know about all the cool liquor. We know all of them. They uh they have a bourbon drop they do a couple times a year, and they've got one coming up this Saturday. I believe they open at 8, but um JP and I, Ponder and I went down and uh it was around the holidays, and I think we were there at like six in the morning, and there were people already there before. Yeah, they'll get there early. But uh bring your lawn chair and yeah, that's what we yeah, pack a cooler. Now this says I'm ready for bourbon at eight in the morning, like drinking out of your cooler at 6 30. Yeah, yeah, it's kind of a good time. But anyway, lots of good bourbons. Uh, I know there's gonna be some um uh Eagle Rare available, some Blantons is gonna be available, E.H. Taylor, lots of good stuff. Lots of good stuff. Uh so make sure you check them out. They're also uh helping us out with some free booze this evening. Uh this here.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Warmglow candle. If you're not from the area, most of our listeners are outside of Wayne County. Uh, but if you drive down 70 right through Richmond, you're gonna pass a big giant candle outside. And uh that is the Warm Glow Candle. Uh I think they do the manufacturing in the city, but yeah, they sell everything out there. And uh they have come out with their own version of sweet wines, Gibler. Let them know what it's all about.

SPEAKER_04:

And this one is also available at the beverage shop.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh so this is the Warm Glow. Bottle shop. Or bottle shop, yes. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02:

I mess it up every time. It's only me. I gotta write this time up.

SPEAKER_04:

So this one, this one's really good. This one is the strawberry parfait. Now, these run$11.50 for a bottle. They also do have the blueberry. No, I've had the blueberry before. And I have a uh a gal that I work with that face, though. The blueberry one. But it's good.

SPEAKER_02:

It'll give you the diabetes. That's what I'm saying. It's really sweet as well. Here's the thing about me I'll tell you when something's good or not good. The flavor on it's great. Great, it is sweet as hell. So if you like sweet wines, this is perfect. It's a dessert one. Yeah, definitely a dessert one. Yeah, yeah. You don't want to drink a bunch of it unless, you know, you're 14 and somebody bought you one. You're out in the parking lot before the basketball game. Right. You know, it's like a modern Boons farm. This is way better than Boons Farm. I promise that. But for$11, you can't be$54. This might be a good price point. This might get some people through Thanksgiving with the families.

SPEAKER_04:

That's true.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04:

It'll be a nice turkey finish.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. But uh no, it's warm glow. You're supporting local that way too.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Yeah. Once again, local, local.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Just picture like bathtub hooch. Like they're in the back just filling bottles. You got the warm glow.

SPEAKER_00:

Jungle juice. The jungle juice.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Uh, but no, make sure you hang out at the bottle shop, especially this Saturday. I mean, it's a great deal, especially if you're looking to buy some people some presents for Christmas, maybe. Hey, and we'll be there. Yeah, and we'll hang out. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure Ponder will have a cooler with him. So if you want to drink, stop on D.

SPEAKER_00:

Maybe we shoot fireworks at 6 a.m.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm sure they'll love it. Yeah. Uh, I mentioned we're doing trivia now at the firehouse. Thanks to the firehouse again, VFW, this weekend. Also, thanks to Wallace Heating and Air for allowing us to give away scratchers. That's you show up at our deal, you have a chance to win some cash. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

They had a potential to win$10,000 last night. Nobody did, of course.

SPEAKER_02:

But there's a potential every week. Every week. You never know. Never. That's a reason to show up right there. Right. All right. Um, I think other than that, uh, if you're at Patreon or excuse me, our Facebook page or web page rather. There you go. Uh, look at Patreon. There's a link there that you can help support the show. And uh, for as little as five dollars a month, you can be an official Patreon sponsor. And honestly, it's the best thing you can do for us. We greatly, greatly appreciate that.

SPEAKER_03:

Besides liking and sharing, get in there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

And also you can help three poor folks drinks.

SPEAKER_00:

Let's thank Daniel Jones for his latest sponsor.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, Daniel Jones. Uh he went the uh just came up and uh hooked us up with uh uh a donation that's gonna allow us to purchase some equipment that we need and some marketing materials.

SPEAKER_03:

So keep going and be even better.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, man. And anybody wants a signature, you know, place for the Colts.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, there he is back here. He looks bigger on television. Yeah, he looks bigger on television. He can throw a football over that mountain, though. He looks like a Timo Rico in there. A Timu. A Timu. All right. All right, we've got two stories. That's about it. I don't have a lot going on. People aren't being very silly right now, but give it time.

SPEAKER_04:

It's the holidays.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, trying to be good for Santa. I do have one that I wanted to kind of set out there. This is our bonfire discussion. Okay. Now we're just hanging out.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

All right, all of us. What do we got? You guys as well, everybody that's watching. I want to know truthfully, and I don't know where this came in my mind, but I was watching either The Golden Girls or was thinking about the show, and I thought to myself, you know, I I don't know that it's a bad idea. Right off the top. And the reason I bring that up, my mother-in-law, uh, she's like my grandmother. Her you know, husband had passed, and so she's living by herself. And my grandmother did that for a number of years before she passed. And I was like, it's gotta suck. You know, being at that age all the time for the most now. She she's very active, goes out and does stuff in the community, and uh, we visit with her and go over and hang out with her on occasion too. But it's uh but the most part, you've lived your whole life with people, and now you're at the end and you're by yourself.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And so I'm curious, could you guys actually foresee yourself living with a group of other adults?

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, I was gonna say, are you asking us to move in?

SPEAKER_02:

Let's do it. I mean, could do it. Yes, yeah, we should buy an old school, yeah. Just buy a old school house. Yeah, but it it's gotta there has to be separation.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, there has to be some separation, and everything has to be on one level because I mean, we're not getting any.

SPEAKER_02:

Or we have an elevator at the moment. Like, here's the thing like I don't know about your guys' home, right? But um, AJ and I, we don't, you know, if you get out of the shower, you're just gonna walk wherever you go and walk. Right.

SPEAKER_03:

You're free, yeah, yeah. Free will be everywhere.

SPEAKER_02:

Or you're gonna give up personal freedoms. Oh, yeah. And so I think as people get older, they get shittier. I don't know that people would really want to give up those freedoms.

SPEAKER_03:

Or they just don't care anymore. So as you get older, you don't care. So you just go, I feel like you've seen that old guy in the gym free balling explaining. You don't go to the gym. It's usually me in there.

SPEAKER_02:

They're in there just hoping the guy hangs his nuts in.

SPEAKER_04:

When he goes, that's why he doesn't go anymore. He's got control bugs in there.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm asking, could you really live with three other people? Yeah, all the time. It depends. It depends who it is. That's there's a lot to that. Depends on the lot to that. Now I have to ask, could you live with three other women? Because women are really hard to live with each other women. Yeah. Now there's hard to live with, period.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_04:

You know what? I I bet you I've been gone for three days. I bet you JP could tell you that like he's missed some of the conveniences of me being home. Oh, I'm not talking about the convenience.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, you driving, picking him up, and all those things. Oh, I can't go out.

SPEAKER_04:

You're talking about the cooking and the convenience.

SPEAKER_00:

I was talking about picking him up from the bar, you know. He was chauffeuring.

SPEAKER_02:

God damn, he's throwing some shade at all. Ah, anyway, I'm thinking it's gonna be more drama than you guys are thinking about. Um, it might be. Oh, every once in a while. First of all, you got one washer and dryer. They never talk about it.

SPEAKER_04:

Not necessarily.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, uh, that's the whole thing. What would you have to have to make it work?

SPEAKER_03:

I'm telling you, I'm just thinking an old schoolhouse, a bunch of floors, one big common area in the gym. A gym again.

SPEAKER_00:

One big shower room.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, just one common area.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, one big open shower.

SPEAKER_00:

One big open shower room.

SPEAKER_02:

Right? Yeah. And here's the other thing. Now, the Golden Girls, it was four women. Yeah. Let's say it's three men, three women. One of the one of them is a couple, and everybody else is single. And I'm telling you, you throw sex into the situation, it's gonna get freaky deep. It turns into Florida and the villages. Right. Or it turns into somebody getting shot in the or the herp. Somebody getting hurt. Yeah. Amanda says assigned quarters, each quarter has own bathroom and laundry area. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

I don't want to share like bathrooms. That's my only thing.

SPEAKER_00:

What if it was just one big bed? Everybody had to sleep in it.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, that's out. That's awkward.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, you know. Jeremy's in there describing a cult. Right?

SPEAKER_04:

I'm like, I'm just trying to figure out my big brother.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, look at Ponder. He's mad at me. He's very capable of driving. I know, Ponder. I was just teasing, buddy. Oh. I thought you might be asleep already. My bad.

SPEAKER_02:

I uh I would love to talk to like uh Nancy, uh Amanda's mom, and ask, like, could you live with three other people right now? Would you want to?

SPEAKER_03:

Some people don't want to.

SPEAKER_00:

Some people stay alone in their own. When you get older, dude, they don't want to mess with that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I wonder if that's why retirement homes are so popular.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, like because they want to see them when they want to see them. You go to your own place, but you come out.

SPEAKER_04:

My grandma didn't really want to go, but then once she was there, I think she really enjoyed it because there were other people.

SPEAKER_03:

And you don't have to worry about maintenance.

SPEAKER_04:

She was playing Euchre every night.

SPEAKER_03:

You go do your thing.

SPEAKER_04:

She had her own little living quarters. She had her own little living room, kitchen, you know, bedroom, bathroom.

SPEAKER_02:

She could, I don't think she could either. I don't think Amanda could. To be completely honest. Like if she's the one that said you have to have your own quarter. Yes. Like it would have to be like a bank vault. It's not just like it'd be fire bridge doors shut and locked. Right? I think people would struggle with it more than you think.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm sure somebody might.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh my gosh. I mean, you're looking at pets and you're looking at it.

SPEAKER_04:

I mean, like our vacation when we go to Myrtle Beach. Like, if it was a place like that, absolutely I could do it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Well, that even then, like, you get to a certain part of the week and it's like, I like listening to the music loud in the house. And it's not a big deal now because if Amanda's gone, I can do it. Nobody said it. But if you're living with four or five others, there's probably always going to be somebody there. Yeah. And it's like sometimes you just want to rock out, you know, to get going in the morning.

SPEAKER_00:

Rock out with your maybe you do.

SPEAKER_02:

Maybe you do. That's what I'm saying. Are you playing drums with my thing?

SPEAKER_00:

Pornhub on the TV while he's rocking out.

SPEAKER_02:

Just tell me to turn their hearing aids down. It won't. No, you might find out that everybody digs the same shit. You're all doing naked dancing with Pornhub on to start your day.

SPEAKER_03:

This is the greatest. Norton line to coke all day long.

SPEAKER_05:

Love it.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, wouldn't we moving in? Yeah, do it. All right. I just wanted to bring that. It was just wild to me as I sit and I think about it because you know.

SPEAKER_03:

That is a good one to think about. Just sit there if you could live with other people I can.

SPEAKER_00:

Dalton couldn't do it because he'd be mad at her, maybe taking beer out of the commode. Out of the commode. Yeah, that's old school stuff. That's old school, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

My uh spa days. I'd have my own shower. It wouldn't be a big deal. I can still do that. Uh one other thing I wanted to chat about. Um, we'll move on. It's history related, it's boring. Uh I want to talk about this one. This one came up here recently, here locally. I'm gonna set the scene for you, okay? You're at the Indianapolis zoo, you're uh you're hopefully eating some dipping dots, maybe. Pay$12 for a cup of little ice cream dots. And then just suddenly coming walking down the path is a chimpanzee.

SPEAKER_03:

I'd think it was a show. Would you? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm like, hey, is this supposed to be out here? Wouldn't it? Would you be freaked out a little bit?

SPEAKER_04:

After you guys talking about how strong they are, almost a little.

SPEAKER_00:

I'd be more freaked out if it was like a bingo tiger or something. A tiger? Yeah, of course. Yeah, I'd be more freaked out if it was something more like dangerous. I guess I mean a chimpy and see you rip your face off, but no, eat your face. Eat your face, yeah. But I wouldn't, I don't know, but it's always cute.

SPEAKER_02:

Have you ever looked at chimps on YouTube? Like uh, they're violent. Very, very violent. Look at that. You see that? That's a killer. That is like soul.

SPEAKER_00:

It's Kevin's buddy. Every time I see the chimpanzees, I think of the movie uh Planet of the Apes, right? They're like, they take over. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02:

I'll uh let me give some background to our listeners. Uh, at the Indianapolis Zoo on November 14th, a solo female chimp pulled a uh Houdini act around 10 in the morning. She was found outside her exhibit prompting a full-blown emergency lockdown at the zoo. There were 37 kids at the zoo that day on a field trip. Yeah, could you imagine? Like, they they they put here's the actual monkey or chimp just out chilling. He wouldn't look big. They're huge, man. I don't think you understand how massive chimpanzees are.

SPEAKER_00:

Holy shit. And how strong they are.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, they're super strong.

SPEAKER_00:

Silverback.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, that's a gorilla, but they're still they'll still screw you up pretty good. Oh, yeah. Uh, but anyway, this thing got out. These kids uh they locked some people in the uh dolphin exhibit and told them to hang out there. Could you imagine? They told some people, like, go sit in your car. Yeah, go to your car.

SPEAKER_00:

Like, uh what do they do? Tranquilize it?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. The um they spotted the chimp outside the enclosure. It was sedated um without anyone getting hurt and returned to the uh habitat. Uh the zoo publicly praised it, security, animal care.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I don't like you said, Dalton, we were talking the other night. I don't like how the Cincinnati gorilla was killed.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I was gonna bring that up. That was Harambe. Uh, that actually happened. I I it's I'm so impressed by my ability to pre-thought where he's from. It yeah, I already looked at it. It happened in 2016. Yeah, I can't believe that's nine years old already. And they killed it. Why can't you just tranquilize that? Well, it was a 17-year-old male western lowland gorilla. I don't know if it affects the kid. That was the thing. Well, they thought it might piss him off. Yeah. He uh a three-year-old boy had climbed into the enclosure at the uh Cincinnati Zoo, fell approximately 12, 15 feet into the moat, and uh contained shallow water. Harambi entered the moat, interacted with the child, and the zoo officials judged that the child's safety was an imminent risk, and they made the decision to shoot and kill Harambi.

SPEAKER_00:

I remember when that happened, and it didn't look like it was gonna hurt the child.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, they didn't know if they would have tranked it, like he said, it might have just pissed him off.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, they're saying that he was gonna fuck that kid up eventually. You know, he's looking at it like it's in his territory. He was down there, he's tiny, first of all, right? Yeah, and it's not like a baby, what he's right, and then people were freaking out. And so he was screaming. And uh so yeah, it it was I'm I feel bad for her on.

SPEAKER_04:

I feel like they still should have tried tranquilizing, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But then what if he kills the kid?

SPEAKER_04:

On tranquilizers?

SPEAKER_02:

No, the whole point was the moment you hit him with it, he's not gonna immediately just drop over.

SPEAKER_03:

It's gonna take time for it to have to be a good thing.

SPEAKER_02:

Have you seen old school? I like you. Right. At that point, you shot this thing, yeah, and it's gonna get pissed off. And even if it just takes that kid and just throws him, that kid's gonna fly him. Right. And he's three, right? So I think that was the concern. Yeah. But this chimp was running loose at the Indianapolis zoo. So it wasn't even the kid that fell in it. This thing could have just walked into the bathroom or whatever it wanted to do.

SPEAKER_03:

Be like that scene from Jurassic Park.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I love that it got out and it went and ate. Yeah, it was longer, man. It went and ate pumpkins.

SPEAKER_04:

Pumpkins.

SPEAKER_02:

See, it wouldn't want to bother nobody.

SPEAKER_04:

Pumpkin spicy bitches.

SPEAKER_02:

See that one right there? That was right before it killed somebody. Oh, yeah. Look how friendly it looks. It is not.

SPEAKER_04:

So is that the one that you're friends with? Yeah. Kevin? Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Look at the shirt.

SPEAKER_02:

It's a shirt. EMT. He said, give me that shirt, I'm gonna kill you.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, stop.

SPEAKER_02:

He's gonna eat your face. He gets aroused every time Kevin's around him, gets a heart on him.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02:

See a cupcake.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, he's just like me. You give me a cupcake.

SPEAKER_02:

So you bring up, I go from six to midnight. Yeah. Now, this isn't Indianapolis's only issue at the zoo this year. I'm not sure if you guys saw this or not, but uh in October, just a month ago, two critically endangered tortoises were stolen from the zoo.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, I didn't see that.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it happened, and they don't even know when it took place. It was either between it was 10 a.m. October 11th through 10 a.m. on October 12th. And uh both of these animals were micro trip, they were Egyptian tortoises, and they were just gone. Wow. Stolen. They went in, somebody went in and just like, ah, you know what?

SPEAKER_04:

I like that tortoise.

SPEAKER_02:

I like turtles. I need a new soup bowl. I like turtles. I like turtle soup.

SPEAKER_04:

I like turtles.

SPEAKER_02:

Now, here's the great news. The zoo got them back. But on October 28th, so what is that, 16 days later, two weeks, they were recovered in a cardboard box at a public park in Pendleton, which is about 40 minutes from the zoo. Somebody's like, man, these things eat. I can afford these things. These Egyptian bastards.

SPEAKER_04:

I can't believe my kids stole these. Let's just drop it off somewhere. Somebody will find them.

SPEAKER_00:

I want to know how easy it is to be able to just walk out with two tortoises had to be big turtles, right?

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, even if they're small, they are. But yeah, I mean, they're pretty good size. My whole thing is like, why doesn't the zoo have ring doorbells everywhere? Like, I'm convinced now it would be very difficult to kill somebody because there's ring doorbells everywhere, right? But not at the zoo. You could just walk into the uh the desert. You know, you could have walked out with anything.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Get you a kangaroo.

SPEAKER_04:

I'm taking an otter. One way or an otter, I'm gonna have an ofter.

SPEAKER_00:

Hey, I will tell you guys this. If you ever want to go to a private zoo, we no want someone in Connorsville. It's not private anymore. That has his own zoo, as lions. He was actually on the show Tiger King.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

He's done lions, tigers, bears, he has Kangri, he has them all. And then uh we were talking uh what was he saying, how much it cost to feed his animals. And he did a he wanted to do an otter experience, the river otters.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And he got three of them, it cost$30,000. And they died. They all died, they all died, and it was a mysterious illness.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it's called uh some guy in Connorsville, Indiana is trying to raise wild animals.

SPEAKER_00:

No, he tried to tell me uh they came from Ohio and they changed the laws in Ohio where you couldn't have exotic animals, so they moved to Indiana and he said it's crazy the way PETA and how they they do crazy crazy stuff. He has animal enclosures that are indoors, yeah. So he has these great big facilities for indoors. Do you think people like that? I mean, honestly. He said they drop rancid meat. They'll fly drones over and drop rancid meat in their in their fields to kill them.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, why should they have them in the first place? Why does a guy in in the middle of Connorsville need a lion? I don't know. I really don't. He just likes it.

SPEAKER_00:

But they like them. Yeah, and then that's it. They like they like their things.

SPEAKER_03:

That's what happened to all those guys. I like it.

SPEAKER_00:

Puma.

SPEAKER_02:

There's something like a goddamn cougar in the car. All those guys that got in trouble at Epstein, you're allowed to like shit in your mind, but when you act on it, it's a problem. Right? Okay. I don't know. And that's what like I'm just I'm blown away. It's one thing for a zoo. Like the Indianapolis zoo has animals get loose.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Cincinnati had the zoo had to shoot an animal because it's that can you know uncontrolled. As much as we love zoos, zoos are awesome. Yeah. But these things are wild ass animals that will eat you. They will eat your face.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, yeah. But I'd love to go down there. I'd love to go down.

SPEAKER_02:

Here's my problem, right? When they're in like when you say they're inside, right? So that's not a normal environment for any of those animals.

SPEAKER_00:

He lets them out. I guess it's like a safety thing because they're huge and not sleeping in his bed with him. Yeah, they're they're huge. I'm not, I don't worry about him. They're not sharing a house.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't give two shits. My more concern is the fact that there's a lion that they they need like uh almost like four acres to themselves in the wild, right? Because they have their territories. And you're gonna put them in a house, and maybe he gets an acre to run around in with three other animals that aren't native to him either. You know, there's how often do you think lions and bears hang out in the Congo? I'm sure it doesn't happen a lot. Never, right?

unknown:

Come on.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, ain't you seen Jungle Book? Yeah, the only time a lion and a bear were ever met themselves in real life, it would have been that arc deal, which is another bull. Lions, tigers, and bears in Connorsville. Good. There's nothing could go wrong there.

SPEAKER_03:

Not private anymore. Right?

SPEAKER_02:

I would like to see it though. I know you would. I would. It's interesting to me. I probably feel shitty about it. We had a zoo here in Richmond at our parks, and it was rated the worst zoo in the United States. That's a true story.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

They had a peacocks. They had a tiger.

SPEAKER_04:

They had a tiger, they had monkeys, they had bison, they had lots of bison.

SPEAKER_02:

They had a tiger. There was people that lived on the north end of town. I think they had a lion at one point, too, and they said every time that lion would roar, you could hear it for blocks. Oh, yeah. And they had them in this little cave. I remember we went there once when I was in elementary school, like a field trip, and they had a tiger that basically sat in a cement room with bars, and it had a fucking bowling ball to play with. Like just a bowling ball. And it's just sitting in there, and it's like, man, this you know, going to a zoo for an animal is like life sentence. Like you, you know, you don't get out. No. They're not just gonna let you hang out for two years.

SPEAKER_00:

They're like circus animals. I mean, they're treated whatever. They're inhumane if that's how you feel. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And you know what the wild part is, like like at the Indianapolis zoo, when they have they have giraffes as an example, when the giraffes dies, they cut the giraffe up and feed it to the other animals. Yeah, it's food. Yeah, because like you said earlier, it's expensive. I looked, it takes a hundred thousand dollars a year to feed one panda.

SPEAKER_00:

It's expensive.

SPEAKER_02:

Holy cow!

SPEAKER_00:

I want to see the million dollars for his zoo.

SPEAKER_02:

That's what I'm saying. A million dollars to feed it. I bet. That's why we had a story on this show a few weeks ago where there was a zoo in Europe that was telling people that if they had pets that were they weren't gonna make it. They said, bring your pets down and we'll feed them to these other animals. Like, how shitty of a pant parent do you have to be? It's like, brother, I know you're on your license. We're gonna take it to the zoo.

SPEAKER_04:

We have a better place for you. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02:

Take it to the zoo. It won't take but a minute.

unknown:

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_02:

Now I'm not with I'm with you on the tiger thing. What's another animal that could be coming up that path that would flip you out?

SPEAKER_00:

Bear. I'm I I think bears are a grizzly bear. Oh, not a little cute black bear, but well, actually.

SPEAKER_04:

I was gonna say in Gatlinburg, all I wanted to do was see bears.

SPEAKER_00:

They're gonna eat your face. Those are black bears, but I mean a grizzly bear.

SPEAKER_04:

It's just like everything is gonna eat your face. Right. They're gonna eat my scraps and shit.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, they're gonna eat your groceries.

SPEAKER_03:

They just wore my picnic basket.

SPEAKER_02:

Right?

SPEAKER_00:

An alligator. Alligator would be kind of creepy.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm telling you right now, they have a black mamba at the Indianapolis. Oh, yeah, no, I'm good.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, I'm out.

SPEAKER_00:

Any snake, I'm I'm running, bro. Oh my god. Running.

SPEAKER_04:

Anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, huh?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, well, he's fucked. I don't want nothing to do with those snakes.

SPEAKER_02:

Not at all. No, they yeah. I screw with none of that. Anyway, all right, let's move on to our next story.

SPEAKER_04:

All right.

SPEAKER_02:

Uh, this comes to us from the great state of Texas. Houston officials there from the Harris County Medical Examiner's office dropped this little gem on us. Since 2017, 189 bodies have been pulled from the city's bayus.

SPEAKER_03:

Holy cow.

SPEAKER_02:

That's a mob work right there. 189. Now, here's the interesting part. The mayor, John Whitmire, he held a press conference and said there is no evidence of a serial killer. He said he clarified that if there were one, he'd be in the waterways, not the streets. So apparently he's a good fella. Just staying out of nature. Oh wow. Uh, and then here's the wild part to me. And so they're basically making it out like it's not a big deal. Apparently, now of the one eighty nine, forty six were accidental drownings.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_04:

How do they know?

SPEAKER_02:

Well Well, I mean, if you're hanging out with they're on a kayak or something and you know it doesn't work out. Now, of the 189, 17 were homicides. So when they pulled the body out of some sign of trauma. Okay. Here's the part I don't get. 75. Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

Unexplained. It's probably because they have no marks and no probably water.

SPEAKER_04:

They've probably been there long enough that there's really not extra.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, there is no sign. I'm telling you right now, maybe they're really good at it and they're like, well, it's unexplained.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm sure they're probably right. We have no.

SPEAKER_02:

Maybe his head just fell off. He was getting crazy. Pretty bird. Pretty bird.

SPEAKER_04:

He was getting kind of our pets' heads are falling off.

SPEAKER_00:

That went right over, didn't it? Yes, thank goodness. Democratic voters.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, Jesus Christ. Here we go. There's one particular bayou. You mean the one doing the killings, or they're the ones that they're the ones in the ball, probably.

SPEAKER_00:

Trump probably did something with him.

SPEAKER_02:

Probably didn't vote for him or something. Oh man. Anyway, this is where we're going tonight. There's one particular bayou that they've pulled 21 bodies out since 2017. It makes it Houston's top aquatic body drop zone.

SPEAKER_03:

Like, is it like a rerouted area? Like over a cemetery.

SPEAKER_00:

You know what? It has to be those unexplained. Someone's killing those people, man.

SPEAKER_04:

That's what I'm thinking.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, they're probably doing, I don't know, like Dexter type shit.

SPEAKER_04:

Hey, Texas is eye for an eye.

SPEAKER_02:

They uh they said that there was the mayor was concerned about the potential that you know they've got homelessness issues and there's urban neglect. I don't know what that has to do with fire.

SPEAKER_04:

So they're just gonna toss themselves into the bayous? I yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02:

Like they're just happy. No, that's wild to me. 189 bodies. That's a lot. I mean, what other city could you be like, man? They're just like we keep every time you go to Whitewater. Yeah, they gotta clean the bottom. Let's go dredge the bottom of the water.

SPEAKER_04:

When was the last time Springwood Park was cleaned?

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, they're getting ready to dredge our park. Do you think they'll find any bodies in there?

SPEAKER_04:

Maybe.

SPEAKER_02:

That'd be wild, wouldn't it?

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

What? Because I wonder when the last time was that the water was low enough to Well, it's not the water, it's just the expense of it, right?

SPEAKER_02:

I think it's been over 50 years since they've dredged that pond.

SPEAKER_04:

I wonder if like they've used it for the phone. I wonder if they've yeah, I wonder if they've used it for I know like sometimes they have like kind of like scuba diving. I know they do it over in New Paris, to where they do like practice drills for that pond's not very deep. No.

SPEAKER_02:

No, you'd probably be able to see a body.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's that pond's like real shallow.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. If you're gonna dump a body enrichment, it's gonna be in the reservoir. Okay, really? The water you drink, you know. The drinking water. The drinking water. Yeah. Uh Amanda says yes to bodies. I'm assuming she means at the park. I uh they're gonna find some shit in there. They may find some weapons or something.

SPEAKER_04:

Let the bodies hit the bar. Oh my gosh, it was going in my brain I wasn't gonna say it.

SPEAKER_00:

I know. Yeah, let the bodies hit the bar. It's like out uh what is that lake out west that they're finding all the dead bodies and they're chained and lake meade? Lake meade. Yeah. Isn't that crazy?

SPEAKER_02:

It was well, same deal. They were finding guys inside of barrel. Barrels and stuff I've been missing.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Hey, I've watched Yellowstone. I wonder uh they just went to the train station.

SPEAKER_02:

I'd be willing to bet there are more people out there killing people than people realize. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, we did that one thing that they think there's only about 50 or so serial active serial killers right now, but I bet you there's more.

SPEAKER_04:

Right now.

SPEAKER_02:

That's why does that even sound like it's not a big deal? They're like, it's only like 50.

SPEAKER_04:

It's only like one per se.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, back in the day, about it.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, but if you could be like Dexter, you know, kill the people that are bad, that's not really vigilante type. I'm all for Dexter, bro. All right. That dude was killing people just because they killed other people. I mean, I love that show.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. You know, he went to Erlim?

SPEAKER_00:

Yep. Yeah. I honestly I watched them all. I really liked it. So you're good with revenge kill. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Dirty hairy stuff.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Texas. Texas, Texas.

SPEAKER_02:

I for an eye. It's funny because there's a story going on right now in Indianapolis where a lady showed up to clean a home and she went to the wrong house, and it's a standard ground law.

SPEAKER_03:

She got shot.

SPEAKER_02:

And she got shot through the door and passed. And they're they arrested the guy that shot her, and they charged him with uh at least manslaughter.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, people shown up to the wrong place to get clean. Yeah, she was there.

SPEAKER_00:

Hey, if you would have brought her in the house, then he would have been all right.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, the whole point was is she wasn't there then you know, like to do anything intentional.

SPEAKER_00:

She just showed up the wrong house. But if you have an intruder, if you think it's an intruder and they're inside your home and you shoot them, you're all looked. I don't know, man. I wouldn't give anybody.

SPEAKER_04:

She was carrying Clorox and a toilet brush.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_04:

Well, I mean, I think she was ringing camera outside.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, did you have a ring camera? I don't know. Some women come in your house.

SPEAKER_02:

This lady hadn't even made it in the house. She's just knocking on the door. That's different.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

That's different. There's a uh a podcast, or not a podcast, uh, a Netflix has a documentary right now, and uh it's all about a lady we actually talked about on this show that used to call the police all the time. Yeah, yeah. And it's it's really well done because it's all done through the police body cam.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So it's not written in a way where you know they're cutting things. Yeah. And it was the exact same thing. A late the lady was shitty, and somebody finally called her on her bullshit. She shot her through the door. And that lady got sentenced to like 25 years in prison.

SPEAKER_00:

Damn. Wow. Had to wait until she came in.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, well. Love having you on here, man. Right. Maybe she was a Democrat.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, will you stop?

SPEAKER_02:

I don't think her politics had anything to do with why she was shot on that front porch. I think it's because people watch television today and they're fucking terrified of stuff that they shouldn't be terrified of. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I agree.

SPEAKER_02:

I'll give you here's the when I was a kid, and now this is where we're gonna get into some of our old bullshit stuff here, but this is the old bonfire discussions. When I was a kid, you could go anywhere in this town and no one was concerned. We didn't have to be home and bikes, yeah. Yeah, going everywhere. We rode motorized scooters before alcoholics rode them. You know what I mean? Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

And now everybody's front door was wide open all night long, all night long.

SPEAKER_02:

Never long. You walked into your friend's house and and now my question is why is it different?

SPEAKER_00:

It's not in Hagerstown.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I'm asking why in Richmond. I've lived here my whole life. I don't know of one kid that's ever been abducted in a way.

SPEAKER_04:

You think uh like that because every because of media.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, it's because you hear every story from everywhere in the world. There's 300, 400 million.

SPEAKER_03:

Now you got everything on your phone, so everything shows up on your phone before you just watch TV and you might have heard about it. Right.

SPEAKER_02:

And so in the past, in the 1950s, 1960s, somebody knocks on your door, you're like, who the hell is it? Yeah, why are you here?

SPEAKER_04:

You're excited, somebody might be visiting.

SPEAKER_00:

Now you're just I think it's because TV, crime. People are brazen now, man. They're doing crazy shit out there.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, I think people did a lot then too.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, dude, but it's it's on a new level.

SPEAKER_02:

Like, I think people are more fearful now. Yeah. That it just not warranted fear. Because you hear about everything now. So that's it. That's how they get people to go vote. Yeah. You know, you convince them that the other side's making the place less safe. Yeah. And so now you're convinced that the world sucks.

SPEAKER_03:

And what's that saying? A divided community is a controllable community.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, that's that's part of it too, right? I mean, that's the whole thing. You get a figure about everything. You know, that's the big words are putting vision.

SPEAKER_00:

I like it. Pillar. Pillar of the community.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, pillar. There you go. Um Is there anything you guys want to talk about?

SPEAKER_03:

Bears.

SPEAKER_02:

Bears? Listen to it.

SPEAKER_03:

I got that one right here. I found this one. The U.S. has issued a travel warning for Japan. After the country has reported a spike in bear attacks and sightings. Uh, what was I telling you? What is it? This year. 230 some this year or since April. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know how many people traveling to Japan, though.

SPEAKER_03:

Tons. Oh, you'd be surprised. They've closed parks. Um, they've got what, their vision of their army out there trying to hunt them down and shoot 'em.

SPEAKER_02:

You just need to do you know what? That's funny. There's so many people here that are out shooting deer now because I see it on my Facebook every day. You just need to take a hundred hillbillies from somewhere out here and drop them in the give them a uh bear tag and let them go.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it says Japan is home to the big brown bears who live in it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I say just take a bunch of Americans over there.

SPEAKER_03:

And they're just attacking people. They're the bears. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

They're like, we're not letting a hundred.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, we'll get that taken care of. No problem. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

They're like, we'd rather have the bears than a bunch of hundred rednecks running around from Indiana with shotguns. They get all hopped up on some sake.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh man. But yeah, I'm I'm not that I'm going over there anytime soon, but that's crazy.

SPEAKER_04:

And just like yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

So uh so they started taking these things and the polls in like 2017 is when they really started to keep track of this, and it's the the highest tier yet.

SPEAKER_02:

You guys believe in aliens? Yes. Yes. Yeah. You you've have you seen the story of the uh asteroid? Yeah. That's gonna pass by here. I think at the end of the day, they think it's an alien ship. Some people think it's an alien ship. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently uh people are freaking out about it.

SPEAKER_03:

I think it's space dooking.

SPEAKER_02:

They actually I was listening to a story about it the other day. Apparently it's mostly made of nickel. Yeah. And uh I didn't realize, I found out that nickel is not common to the to our world. All the nickel that we use for nickel and everything else is uh they're asteroids that have hit and embedded themselves in our our land, and then that's why it's mined for. And they're saying that uh this thing is predominantly made out of nickel, and they said no one would ever make a flight, an airplane or a ship or anything out of nickel because it's too heavy. Right. So that's why they don't think that it's but some people do, some people are convinced it's I've been seeing it, I've been seeing it for a while.

SPEAKER_00:

I think I brought it up maybe a couple months ago to you guys, and I don't know if it's true because there's a lot of stuff that's on there, but it like you said every day, there's something new about that being a spaceship into the world type shit. They're coming to invade, and it you know, I like you said, uh, as long as it don't hit Earth, we're good. Just do a flyby checking us out.

SPEAKER_01:

We're like, look at those guys down there.

SPEAKER_00:

I honestly think if you want to worry about anything. If you worry about anything, it would be a solar flare. Those because they're saying how that the sun has those that hole in it where it's flare. I think if anything, that would be what would take us out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

You know what I think is I think it's us. I think it just takes one crazy person to push a button. Yeah. And I don't think that we would the whole world would be affected. I think it would probably be predominantly in one area, but you hit a place that that's big enough into a big city. And uh there's actually a film on Netflix about this. Uh yeah, it's uh the government was pissed off about it too. And the whole point of it is there was a nuke that's targeting the US and it's coming to Chicago.

SPEAKER_00:

I watched it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, did you like it?

SPEAKER_00:

I I loved it, but I hated the end, and I don't want to ruin it for nobody, but I hated how it left it.

SPEAKER_02:

So well, it's because that's what they wanted.

SPEAKER_00:

I know that's what they wanted. Didn't a Barack Obama create that movie?

SPEAKER_02:

Uh I don't know.

SPEAKER_00:

That's what they're saying. They said Barack Obama had something to do with that film.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, well, it's a good film, then he's good at that too.

SPEAKER_00:

He's he's created another one. That it was that one, and he created another end of the world type um film too. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03:

See, maybe he knows something. We don't. Yeah, no sure.

SPEAKER_00:

My time as president, but it was very interesting because how they did that movie, how I I don't know if it's true or not, but do people actually go over there and sit in that room and see what missiles are going in this and that? Because when they launched that one, they were like, oh, that's just the China the South Koreans or North Koreans launching something.

SPEAKER_03:

I listened to a podcast about it. They know within about 60 seconds of where that missile's coming from and where it's headed.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and then it goes, it won't go suborbital, and then it goes sub-oral and they all freak out. Right DEF CON 2, DEF CON 3, DEF CON 4.

SPEAKER_03:

They know exactly in about 60 seconds where that thing is going and then they moved everybody out of that room.

SPEAKER_00:

They're like, okay, you gotta go. Right. You know, it's like, oh shit.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, what's wild about it? Like, uh not to the whole point of it is how these are real human beings that they're seeing this stuff and they're dealing with things like you or I would deal with, right? It's um one guy his his wife had died and he's fighting that. And so even though that this is their job, they're human beings, like you know, they got kids that play soccer and do all this kind of stuff. Dealing with issues. The wild part about me, and I'm not letting this out of the bag, if you watch the film, you really should watch it, it's interesting. Um it's coming to the US, and it only has 15 minutes from the time it's launched to the time it's gonna hit. And that's all real.

SPEAKER_03:

Right?

SPEAKER_02:

And it's it's coming for Chicago, and they had a opportunity to shoot it out of the sky and they missed it. Okay, so now it's still coming. They don't tell anybody.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. I mean, what's that gonna be? And they don't even know if it's a nuke or if it's a few.

SPEAKER_02:

My question to you is do you want to know? No.

SPEAKER_04:

No.

SPEAKER_02:

You'd rather just keep it. I mean, because it's gonna be it's gonna be instantaneous. Can you imagine if you lay down in Chicago that afternoon to take a nap?

SPEAKER_04:

And then just didn't?

SPEAKER_02:

You just slept through it.

SPEAKER_03:

That'd be the way to do it, right? Right. I mean, not knowing. I mean, it's gonna happen so fast.

SPEAKER_00:

You're gonna start paper.

SPEAKER_04:

What are you gonna do with the other 13 minutes?

SPEAKER_00:

Round two. Round two.

SPEAKER_02:

I would have listened to the top. They're gonna make a bowl of spaghetti in 12 minutes.

SPEAKER_00:

What would you do if you had 15 minutes?

SPEAKER_04:

Hold up.

SPEAKER_00:

What would you do if you knew you had 15 minutes to live? Nothing. Nothing. Just nothing? Just you wouldn't eat some.

SPEAKER_04:

You wouldn't like listening to my music in such a few.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02:

That's the wild part to me, is when they put people down.

SPEAKER_00:

If there's nothing you can do, you're just gonna sit there and go, I'm gonna die. Yeah, probably so.

SPEAKER_04:

I'm gonna have a party. I'm gonna be dancing and singing and have party music for ten minutes.

SPEAKER_00:

You got to make it. You're gonna get through two songs. Three songs.

SPEAKER_02:

I can't get one through half an episode of Max.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, what song are you gonna listen to?

SPEAKER_03:

Go give me a couple parties.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm getting away. I'm gonna pull a Dalton, put the music all the way up and get bucked naked and do the first.

SPEAKER_04:

Or I'll be 7 a.m.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, it'd be my luck. I'd run out the street naked in the middle of the afternoon.

SPEAKER_04:

You're gonna have to start sending a letter to your neighbors.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh my gosh, that would be my luck. Oh, I've always wanted to just streak. Now I gotta talk to neighbors when I move. Now I gotta introduce myself a little bit. Shit. How long, like, so that's only 15 minutes, but I want to add up to what you're saying. What if you knew, but it was gonna be in two days? Well, that's a whole different level. And it's a planet wiper outer kind of deal.

SPEAKER_00:

Like I'd be finding a bunker.

SPEAKER_02:

Would you though? Would you want to live in a bunker for the rest of your life? Why not? I'd like to check this shit out. What if it's just sucked? Like, you gotta have a decent bunker.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, you'd have to find one of those real nice ones.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, this is going back to living with people again, huh?

SPEAKER_02:

Right. Oh man. You see how that goes. Yeah. Those bunker movies, it never works out everywhere.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, the end of the world, like the zombie apocalypse movies and stuff where who's gonna take the last food and you gotta. I mean, it'd be horrible. End of the world type stuff. Yeah. You wouldn't trust in nobody. You could you'd like think they're gonna kill you or off you. I mean, you'd have all kinds of they're doing that now, man.

SPEAKER_04:

I was gonna say some people live that way.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, you knock on their door funny. Yeah.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Or like battle crawling, not answering.

SPEAKER_02:

You come to my door, I'll give you a turkey.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, we used to knock on doors and run.

SPEAKER_02:

Not now. These are just kids trying to sell candy bars and shit.

SPEAKER_00:

And$30 candy bars.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, hey, it's robbery if they buy it, I guess. Yeah. Oh. I I love the film.

SPEAKER_04:

So what are you gonna do if you have two days to two days is different.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, then you I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_04:

You can't really, you still are not gonna be able to get out with that many people in one small area.

SPEAKER_02:

No, I'm not worried about surviving. I think at two days, I'm probably gonna drive to the coast or something or to a lake.

SPEAKER_00:

You'll spend eight hours driving. 12 hours.

SPEAKER_02:

It's not even about the drive at that point. It's eight hours of your drive.

SPEAKER_00:

You wasted 12 hours of your I'm not wasting anything.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm driving with people. I'm not going by myself.

SPEAKER_00:

You wouldn't be able to move. Everybody'd be freaking out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Would you? Why would you pillage if you're gonna die in two days?

SPEAKER_00:

People are just trying to get supplies, trying to die.

SPEAKER_02:

People thinking you're gonna survive it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

No, I'm not sure. It'd be mass hysteria. I'd probably I don't even think you could get to the coast.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, that'd be hard to that far.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm just saying, you better have extra gas and all that because you're not stopping a store. People I'm just telling you, people. Can you imagine like uh a gotta go?

SPEAKER_02:

I still need you to come in tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I still gotta work.

SPEAKER_00:

Let's still podcast. I don't know. Be like the guy in the armor, uh, what was that, where he's on top of the mountain and he's still podcasting, he's telling everybody it's the end of the world. Uh yeah, I forget what that one is.

SPEAKER_04:

We got some red and blues down there.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, there's a ton of them.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh oh. Uh-oh. We got something going on down the street.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, they're uh End of the World. No shit.

SPEAKER_04:

Right. That's all I'm doing about it.

SPEAKER_00:

15 minutes, guys.

SPEAKER_02:

Uh you know, that's a good point. I guess you couldn't really drive anywhere. Maybe you would just hang out at your house. We'd go to the reservoir. We'd have a big cookout or something, man.

SPEAKER_00:

We can go to the reservoir, Dalton.

SPEAKER_04:

Bonfire. Have some real bonfires.

SPEAKER_00:

We'd shoot off every piece of fire. We'd do shit for days.

SPEAKER_04:

I'm thinking it's gonna be like uh what's that movie? Oh, yeah. Almost famous, where they think that the plane's gonna crash and everybody starts confessing all their shit. And then all of a sudden the plane's fine and they're like the guy's like, I'm gay. I've been sleeping with your wife. And then all of a sudden the plane's fine, and they're like, oh shit.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm out streaking in the neighborhood. You you wouldn't be able to drive nowhere, I don't think. No, well, you're right, because you're basically you're limited to what it's in your vehicle. Because who's gonna go to work so you can pump gas? Nobody. No, it's gonna be like Mad Max out there.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't think I'm I'm not as concerned. Actually, you know what? If you knew that's gonna happen, I think people would go out and start killing people, they'd just like fucking chance. You know, purge.

SPEAKER_00:

I know a couple.

SPEAKER_02:

Well I wouldn't say that too loud here. He's kidding. I'm sure I'm gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_04:

This is not premeditated.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, that's the isn't there a the SNL skit? Yeah. With um oh uh the guy that's super popular right now, the comedian.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, yeah, that one?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, um, he hosted it like twice, and he he's a Joe Rogan guy. Uh did the comedy special on Cam Patterson.

SPEAKER_04:

No, uh is he the one that's in the Bud Light commercial with Jane Gillis, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

He does a skit uh on that, right? Where they're on a plane and they find out that the plane is gonna wreck. Yeah. And they start calling, people are calling their loved ones to tell them how much they love. He's calling the body shop. He's like, I'm gonna come down there and kick your ass. You said the car would be ready, it's not ready. I'll be there in 10 minutes. I'm coming down to kick your ass. And they're like, What are you doing? He's like, I'm not gonna waste it on telling people I love them, I'm gonna tell people how I really feel about them.

SPEAKER_00:

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, there might be some shitty emails going back and forth that that last two days. What would you would you really what are what would you eat?

SPEAKER_00:

I would eat lobster, crab, cook out, go get what you could steaks, steaks.

SPEAKER_02:

I love how it's like all still like chit.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's like oh man, milkshakes, cookies, pizza rolls, pizza rolls, ramen noodles.

SPEAKER_04:

I know this is gonna hurt my tummy, but who cares?

SPEAKER_03:

No, I'm not toast intolerant, but yeah, fuck it.

SPEAKER_04:

I'd probably try heroin.

SPEAKER_03:

Wow. Wow.

SPEAKER_02:

It took a hard right turn.

SPEAKER_04:

No, there's a comedian that actually does this, and he's like, you know what?

SPEAKER_02:

Chris Porter talks about it when you get old.

SPEAKER_04:

And he's like, I even got anything to live for in the world.

SPEAKER_02:

You seem to love heroin. Cocaine off strippers' asses.

SPEAKER_04:

Strippers aren't gonna be working.

SPEAKER_00:

No, but something about doing cocaine off strippers' asses when you're into the world. Yeah, but I'm pretty sure they're gonna be off. They probably will. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00:

You might have an end of the world strip off end of the world strip off for that.

SPEAKER_04:

It's just him running down the street to party in the USA by being a good one.

SPEAKER_00:

Epstein Island.

SPEAKER_02:

I would try some drugs.

SPEAKER_00:

You might even try a butt plug.

SPEAKER_02:

Always go so morbid with everything. Not morbid, I guess. I mean, if you're into that, it's a big thing.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm a cub, I said. I'm a cub. And you said no butt plugs.

SPEAKER_02:

I just not for me, man. I mean, hey, if somebody is into it, it's that's them.

SPEAKER_00:

This is where we're going now. Do furries have butt plugs? Is that why you like to no butt plugs?

SPEAKER_02:

They look like they're wearing tails, man. That it like goes into their ass, and then there's a tail on it and it hangs out, you know, so whatever they're into that day. A furry plug. A furry plug. Telling you, people, there's some weird fetches. In a litter box? Uh, they if they're into that.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh about them bears and cubs.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, all right. I got one for you. All right, all right.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_00:

If you had to be a furry, which one would you be? I don't know what anything are. I don't know. What animal? What animal?

unknown:

I have no idea.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know. What furry animal would you be?

SPEAKER_04:

Squirrelito.

SPEAKER_00:

A squirrel. Squirrel? Trash. What about you? What about you, puddin? Hell, I don't know. Trash Banda.

SPEAKER_04:

I'd be a honey badger. I don't give a hell.

SPEAKER_02:

What about you, Ragbao? You'd be a raccoon. I'd be eating people's trash.

SPEAKER_04:

I just want to walk like them. And they like steal stuff and they like walk on their back.

SPEAKER_02:

I can see you being a Pokemon or something. You know, speaking of last meals, this is I'll this would be our last story. Um, there was a guy that was just executed, I think it was in South Carolina. Maybe Kevin can look this up. Now we are the Joe Rogan podcast. He's my Jamie. Hey, Jamie, look it up. See if that was in South Carolina. This uh this guy was put to death and he chose to be executed by firing squad. Yeah. And so he was shot and he was done in, right? But they talked about his last meal. Look at this guy. He wrote like shit on the wall with people's blood and Totina's pizza rolls. What would you want yours? No, he had like lobster and fish and he had cake. I just can't even imagine being hungry.

SPEAKER_04:

And you know you're getting ready to go?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

At what point do they cut that off? As far as food? Yeah, like I mean, you wonder what their limitations are. I mean, could you get like Don Perry?

SPEAKER_04:

You're probably still saving hundreds of thousands of dollars a year of getting them out of the system.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I know what he's saying, though. You're like, I'd like to try caviar. Yeah. Oh, you know, like bald eagle ass. I'd like uh sauteed bald eagles. Skunk butt, right? I'd like to have cream of unicorn soup.

SPEAKER_04:

I want scrambled ostrich eggs.

SPEAKER_00:

Scrambled ostrich. Have you ever had that before?

SPEAKER_02:

No. Oh you name shit you could get just normal. Ostrich eggs? Yeah, they're huge.

SPEAKER_04:

Where are you where are you finding ostrich eggs? Have you had them?

SPEAKER_02:

I haven't consumed one, but this I bet you could get it at Jungle Gyms. That's what I was scared to say.

SPEAKER_04:

That's true.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, they're at Jungle Gyms.

SPEAKER_02:

I bet you they are.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I bet you they ain't got sauteed bald eagle nuts down there, though. I don't believe so. That's what I'd ask for some shit. They're like, man, that takes years to cook. Exactly. That's exactly what I wanted.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Some pickled fish or something. Yeah. Oh. Pickled fish. That's cargo. Yeah. Anyway. All right. We uh there's just nothing going on in the world. No. It's just people are being nice to be cordial. We're doing turkey drops. We're doing trivia. I just meant stuff on here.

SPEAKER_04:

I was gonna say, I am gonna tell you that if we had 15 minutes to go, we're gonna have Scrouty do some fireworks and we'll just go out on a bang.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. That's what he was talking about. Going out with a bang. Yeah. Just bang, bang, bang, bang. Off a hooker's ass. Naked. High on heroin. Good times. Peace be. All right. Uh, we appreciate you guys jumping in. We've been so busy with trivia and everything else that um, you know, we just kind of threw this one together. Good problem to have. It is a good problem. We've got a lot of stuff coming up, and uh, so we kind of just threw this one together to have one, especially as we're getting ready to enjoy Thanksgiving next week. So thanks again to our buddy Kevin Shook, Global Media Enterprises. If this is uh something you're looking to do, surely after watching tonight's show, you think, well shit, I can do better than that. You probably can. Uh reach out to Kevin, he'll hook you up with that. Uh, thanks to our Patreon sponsors. Uh, if you dig the show or you like what we're doing locally with trivia, make sure you go out to what aftertubeers.com. Uh right there, you can find a link to Patreon, or you can go straight to Patreon at uh patreon.com backslash after two beers. Yeah. Thanks to all our sponsors that make this possible. That is uh the firehouse here locally. Uh, we'll be back there next Wednesday if you're local. Uh the VFW this Saturday. Yeah. Wallace Heating and Air helping us out with uh prizes.

SPEAKER_04:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02:

Uh thank you to uh Screddy Pyrotechnics, uh the bottle shop here local. Make sure you go and see their bourbon this Saturday. I believe it's at eight. Check their Facebook page. I'm sure they'll have the times on there. Uh probably a list of the bourbons they're gonna have that day, too. So nice.

SPEAKER_00:

Um also, hey Dalton, also, yeah, we talked about it. The Patreon, uh, me and you talked about it. Hey, if you guys want to donate to that, get on board with that because we're doing some really cool stuff. We got a lot of stuff planned for next year. Also, we're doing fireworks shows next year. We're talking about doing weddings, talking about having you guys do the music, and there's a lot of cool things coming down the pipe. So pay attention to all that, and we'd love your support and just get a hold of us.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, uh, just check our webpage. Uh, we're gonna be working on putting one together for Screddy as well. So uh, if you're looking to hire someone to do some fireworks, whether you're celebrating your 40th birthday, 50th birthday, or end of the world. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Or bankruptcy or divorce.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. Whatever you want to celebrate.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, put it on your card and then put it into bankruptcy. We're good with that. Yeah.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

As long as that check clears. As long as it clears, we're good. We're good. We're good. Yeah. So check that out. Uh also, um, Jeremy, if you listen here locally, uh, this is Thursday. I think there's one more day of turkey Saturday at Wetzel, 10 o'clock. Yeah. So uh opportunity with a twist.

SPEAKER_00:

We got a lot of different stuff going on, too. Oh, so you get a turkey, you're gonna get your goodie bag with your green beans, uh Corn.

SPEAKER_04:

We got bees.

SPEAKER_00:

And uh what else? Daniel. Yeah, Daniel Jones provided those. That's awesome of him. But we're also might be doing some other stuff. So come out. I mean, it's gonna be fun.

SPEAKER_03:

Prizes. Yep. They got goodies.

SPEAKER_02:

So check that out. Um I think aside from that, we say it at the end of every show, every podcast, every radio show we did, every uh trivia now as well. Yeah. Uh we're moving into the holidays. It's it's typically one of the hardest times of the year for a lot of people, especially as maybe this is their first year going through the holidays without someone that uh they they've lost. So uh do me a favor. If you see someone in your life or know of somebody that you think they're just struggling or they just don't seem like themselves, do me a favor. Just reach out to them, ask them how they're doing, send them a text message, drop by their house, but maybe text them first. They don't need to stop. Um but but you know, at the end of the day, we're all here just to have a good time and try to live through whatever it's gonna be, whether it's 20 years from now, 10 years from now, whenever that steroid asteroid steroid steroid hits it. Regardless, uh, just take care of each other. Yeah, all right. Uh we say it at the end of every show, and uh, well, it's probably the second most important thing we say. Ghibler, pudding, scretti. We'll talk to the ball next time.

SPEAKER_04:

After two beers. Take me home! Take me home home.