#199 After 2 Beers: From Guilty Pleasures To Graduation Hype In Modern America

You ever catch yourself laughing at something, then immediately wonder if you should feel bad for laughing? That’s where we start: guilty pleasures, clean sheet day, and the kind of unfiltered “bonfire talk” that only happens when the microphones are on and we’re being honest. We also shout out the people and places keeping small-town community alive, from our friends at the Moose to upcoming nights at the VFW and the American Legion, plus how you can support the After 2 Beers Podcast on Patreon.

Then the conversation takes a turn into one of the strangest modern habits: scrolling local mugshot pages like they’re the morning paper. We talk about why it’s so addictive, why the comment sections can be brutal, and the uncomfortable reality that an arrest is not a conviction. It’s funny until it isn’t, and we try to sit in that tension without pretending we have perfect answers.

From there, we tackle celebration culture: fourth grade “graduations”, social media performance, and even job “signing day” ceremonies that look like Division I recruiting. We’re pro vocational education and trade skills, and we dig into why manufacturing automation, robotics, and AI make real training more important than ever. After that, we hit A2B News with stories so ridiculous they sound fake: bees used as a weapon during an eviction, an accidental medical “fix”, undercover cops stinging each other in a drug bust, and a bulldozer taking revenge at a pub.

Stick around to the end for the most important part: a reminder to check on your people when life gets hard. If you enjoy the show, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more folks can find us.

Support the show: patreon.com/after2beers

Transcript

Welcome, Sponsors, And Local Events

SPEAKER_05 0:02

Welcome to the After Two Beers Podcast. I'm Chris Dalton, joined as always by Kimberly Ross.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

That's me.

SPEAKER_05 0:08

Michael Summers. What's going on? Sitting and hanging out with us finally. It's old Jeremy Scretti hanging out in the control room. What's going on? He's hanging out in the control room with our buddy Kevin Shook down at uh Global Media Enterprises e Studios. Allows us to put this amazing show on every two weeks, and he does a great job here. Uh if you love the show and uh you want to support us, we greatly appreciate it. The easiest way to do that is to go to patreon.com backslash after two beers. For as little as five dollars a month, I believe it is uh a gallon of gas, you can uh support the show and uh keep us on the airwaves as we try to bring you some amazing content every other week. And some laughs and giggles. And some laughs and some giggles and make you think, and and uh we're gonna get into that tonight. I'm excited about tonight because uh typically I try to bring you the news stories and um I task Pudding with it. Yeah I have I have no idea what news stories were gonna be the first two evening.

SPEAKER_04 1:13

Awesome.

SPEAKER_05 1:13

Uh I don't have to be. I'm excited already. I can't tell you how excited I am. I want to make sure we thank our uh newest sponsor, our big sponsor, old Brian Rizzy, down at the Moose here locally in Richmond. Uh the Moose is uh becoming our uh our spot. You know, we in the winter uh we spend a lot of time at the firehouse. Love the firehouse. Love it, love the guys there.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

And then once a month at the VFW.

SPEAKER_05 1:38

And the V, we got one coming up. We'll talk about that one in a second. And we got one at the American Legion uh coming up. We'll talk about that here shortly as well. But uh the Moose uh is our uh official sponsor. Thank you guys.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Yes, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_05 1:52

They've got uh some events coming up, bingo on June 6th. But uh, the one I want to talk about, we originally were gonna change it, but uh it's our after two beers gone country night. Yeah, yeah. On uh June 20th. It's uh it's a Saturday evening. We were originally going to change it because that is the first night of the Wayne County Fair. It is, yeah, it is. And that is Demolition Derby. Demo Derby now. Oh my god. I love a good demo derby. Yeah, I you know, the fair would be cooler if it had a beer garden. Oh, for sure. And then you could get liquored and just walk over and watch demo derbies. Oh my god, it'd be amazing. That's the greatest night ever. But uh, I talked Brian uh we did into doing something which I think is kind of cool. You know, we uh we tried to go back into some old 80s, 90s country, and uh we're gonna do drink specials. I don't know. It's not a quote unquote drink special because apparently Motherhood Moose doesn't like that. But uh we're gonna do $2 bush-light cans all night long. There you go. And $3 fireball shots. Oh, spicy water. Love my spicy water. So make sure you come and hang out with us. He's also on board for I want to do a after two beers version of Price is Right. And he's gonna invest in the uh the equipment to make some evening happening. Love it. Yes. And there's a couple other bars I've chatted with here locally. I still want to do a pub crawl slash murder mysteries. Yes, I've looked into that. Kits aren't too expensive. Well, I think we're gonna end up doing that too.

SPEAKER_04 3:28

Some of them look amazing.

SPEAKER_05 3:30

I think uh maybe around the first of October. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 3:35

So we got some time to put that together.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

That's honestly like a great time because it's like after all of the summer stuff.

SPEAKER_05 3:43

Yeah. And it's it's building up towards Halloween. So uh make sure you follow us. Uh we'll keep you up to date on all the things going on at the Moose. Uh, as Gibler mentioned, we do have trivia coming up May 27th at the VFW here locally. Uh so Saturday evening. I think we start at 5 or 5:30.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

I thought it was the 30th.

SPEAKER_05 4:03

Is it the 30th? It's a Saturday evening, whatever the Saturday is.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

Hold on. It's probably the 30th.

SPEAKER_05 4:09

I think it is the 30th. Saturday is the 30th. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

Yeah. Yeah. Saturday the 30th.

SPEAKER_05 4:13

30th. We'll be there. Uh I think we start around 5:30. We start that one early, yeah. Yeah. And uh make sure you show up for that. We also, I love the fact that we're helping out all of these like uh social clubs and and especially ones that are tied to the military. We've got one on June 14th. It's a Sunday.

SPEAKER_04 4:32

It's gonna be a fun one, man. You get there, get your reservations in.

SPEAKER_05 4:36

Yeah, there it is. Uh American Legion. Uh we'll it starts at two, but uh they've got um some different things going on here locally. If you know of uh made rights, the made right sandwiches, they've got a uh special on those.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

And then it's kind of a contest, right?

SPEAKER_05 4:51

Yeah, and then the Coney sauce, and uh I think we're gonna host that.

SPEAKER_04 4:55

Yeah, and the uh the machines in there, there's a thing for that.

SPEAKER_05 4:59

Yeah, yeah. These new machines here locally uh they're basically like um they look like slob machines, but they're apparently they're like supposed to be tickets. But yeah, electronic tickets. Yeah, they take it. They're way more addictive and twenty, twenty-five dollars to get into it. Kevin should put one in here and he'd make money. People love gambling. We're not leaving drinking and gambling. No, we're here for the night.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Yeah, that thing is about to spill, I just fried bologna.

SPEAKER_05 5:29

Oh, yeah. We'd never leave. No. We should put bunk beds in. Uh also, we want to make sure we thank our uh liquor sponsors for said activities, the bottle shop, the beverage shop here locally. Just there tonight. Thank you to those gentlemen and uh ladies for providing such great beverages that uh allow us to live the name that is after two beers.

SPEAKER_04 5:53

Waiting for that keystone apple to come in so we can try it. I've heard, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 5:56

People, I I don't know, man. I remember an apple. Yeah, I I remember when beer tasted like beer. Keystone apple. I was good with it.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

I I was gonna say, I'm gonna say something that's probably not all that popular. So bushlight apple? I mean, it's good. It's all right. It's too sweet for me. If I want a beer, I want a beer.

SPEAKER_05 6:16

I've heard that before. You're too sweet. Vodka's that way. I remember when vodka tasted like vodka. Yeah. And now it's like you can get it in anything. You know what's never changed? Rumplemints. Rumplement, yeah. It just tastes like Santa Cemen. It's delicious.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Christmas in your mouth.

SPEAKER_05 6:33

Oh my God. Miss if if it tasted like that, maybe people would be more about it. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

It's not so salty as I've heard it's you know what I had the other night at dinner that I haven't had in probably 15 years?

SPEAKER_01 6:45

Oh, I don't I a salad.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

No. This guy. The fruit plate. Pretty funny. The fruit plate. No, uh Newcastle Brown Hill.

SPEAKER_04 6:57

Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:59

Never heard that in a minute. Good call.

SPEAKER_06 7:04

He's cracking himself up in here.

SPEAKER_05 7:08

Oh, man. My whole goal in life is just to make me laugh. And if other people join along, that's awesome. All right. I think we're ready to get going. All right.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Hey Kevin, do we have anybody following tonight? No. Even better.

SPEAKER_05 7:25

This is for us. This is just for us. If uh somebody happens to follow along, make sure you join uh in and send some comments to us. And uh, there's not one person watching.

unknown 7:39

Hold on.

SPEAKER_01 7:40

They got events going on. Well shit.

SPEAKER_05 7:42

I know Amanda should be at home watching. Where's Josh? Josh asleep already?

SPEAKER_01 7:48

No, he's probably finishing up the Kevin Hart Rose.

SPEAKER_05 7:50

Oh, man. When your loved ones don't even watch it, you know your show's not that good.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

Josh Ponder. Oh, he is. Oh.

SPEAKER_05 7:59

There we go.

unknown 8:00

Heather Wilde.

SPEAKER_05 8:01

How you dead. There we go. Yeah, you did. All right. It'll get better. All right. Now we're going to jump into the show.

Guilty Pleasures And Spa Day Logic

SPEAKER_05 8:10

Uh, what we're going to do is uh we're going to do our um uh our backwoods, I don't know what we call our bonfire discussions. Bonfire discussions. Our little campfire.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

And tonight it's backwoods tonight, though.

SPEAKER_05 8:23

I don't know what it is. Uh I've got two that I want to bring up that we can discuss. And uh Mike Rice Jr. Thank you. I feel underrepresented.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

Oh. Hey, we're just as excited as to have you here as Christy.

SPEAKER_05 8:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

Yes. I called Disney.

SPEAKER_05 8:42

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_01 8:43

The backwoods thing, I think. Maybe I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 8:46

I don't Disney would never put us on. I promise you that. All right. There's two things I wanted to discuss. I was thinking about it this week. Um I don't even know what order to go in, but all right, let's go. Let's start with this one. This one. I'm nervous.

SPEAKER_00 9:01

I'm nervous. I like it.

SPEAKER_05 9:02

They're nothing to be nervous about. It's just things that I observe as I live through humanity. And I think to myself, we should discuss these things. My first is uh I've I've mentioned we did a podcast one time on guilty pleasures. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

Oh yeah, we did.

SPEAKER_05 9:18

Yeah. And uh we don't even have the audio or the video of that anymore, but my guilty pleasures at the time. No. No, and it was arguably people still asked me about that show, and they loved it.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

It was one of my favorites.

SPEAKER_05 9:32

Yeah, so my guilty pleasure, I had a couple. Uh my first guilty pleasure was I loved back in the day that um Maury Povich would do the gin or not the the uh who's the father? Father. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

You're not the father.

SPEAKER_05 9:48

Oh my god. I loved watching those people either get really excited or they would jump around. My other one was when I would do spa days.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 10:00

Where I would drink beer in my bathtub. I love taking a bath.

SPEAKER_01 10:05

I always a bald eagle outside the window, fireworks, how much clean sheet day.

SPEAKER_05 10:10

So I like drinking a beer in a shower. Well, so what I was saying was the problem, the only negative to doing a spa day in the bathtub is that I could only take two beers in because they would get cold. Right. You know, or they would get warm as as you're you're going through the process. And what I was well, I came up with a solution. I said if you take the back of that lid off and you fill that thing up with ice, it's gonna melt, which is just gonna go into the toilet bowl. Right. And you could put beer in the back of that thing.

SPEAKER_03 10:42

Yeah, and I'm saving the environment by drinking beers in the toilet.

SPEAKER_05 10:48

Okay. And then my other one was I love fireworks. This is why Jeremy Screddy and I at our core we are bonded. I didn't know that about you. You love fireworks. Oh my god. There's a few other things I love like fireworks. The other one was clean sheet day. I love clean sheet day. Love fire day. Clean sheet day. And so my goal in life, if I ever win anything of value, if Jeremy Scretti ever gets rich and gives me some money, I want to have a cedar chest that every single day. New sheets. There's new sheets that are coming out of the cedar chest.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

You want them to smell like cedar? Fucking hey, it smells. I like them to smell like the the fresh linen off the line.

SPEAKER_05 11:29

I like that.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

I like it off of the outside line. Hang them outside as long as there's no birds around.

SPEAKER_02 11:36

I know somebody that likes clean sock day. Oh, that was great. That's gonna be my new sock. If I if I if I were new sock day and he was a big one, I would never wear socks more than once.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

That's what he does. That is he never. If I were ranch, I would never wear socks more than once.

SPEAKER_02 11:50

Uh Josh Wisely from Wisely Prytechnic. Give it a shout out. He did new socks every day. New socks every day, and then they donate the socks to a shelter.

SPEAKER_05 11:59

Yeah, you know what? That's what homeless people request the most. That's me. That's the number one thing they want. I wear the new pair from the bombers every single day. Yep. Oh, bombas are the new socks. Yeah, I couldn't afford bombers, but I love it. No, they just they donate a pair apparently every time you buy a pair to homeless people. Oh, really? Yeah. So uh I I don't think it's of the same quality, but you know, homeless, they'll take a pair if you're gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 12:23

Well, you don't know this.

SPEAKER_05 12:24

No, I'm pretty sure. No, I'm pretty sure. The throw ups.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

You don't you don't think they're like, oh, well, these just don't fit on the back of my ankles with these things.

SPEAKER_05 12:33

No, it's fucked up that they have like I don't know if they have a production line, and that's like this is the homeless one.

SPEAKER_04 12:38

This is the message. These are the these are the mess ups.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

These are the ones we messed up on, so that's uh otherwise we're gonna start stealing from the kind of thing.

SPEAKER_04 12:54

Yeah. Is it you? No. I love new sock days.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

I can't afford new sock days. No, I try new socks.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

Depends on what kind of socks you wear, too, though.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

Oh, I am specific. Like, I just went through my entire soccer.

SPEAKER_02 13:07

Can Aaron Naylor do that?

SPEAKER_01 13:09

She would love to do it as well. Yeah. She she loves new socks as well.

SPEAKER_05 13:13

Shout out Aaron Naylor. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

But no, like I just went through my entire sock drawer and I'm like, I don't wear these because I don't like the the way they feel in my tennis shoes. Like, they're fine if I'm not in shoes. But once I put my shoe on, I don't like the way they feel. So I just got rid of an entire drawer full of socks.

SPEAKER_05 13:34

What did you do with them? Did you just throw them away? You did. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

Well, majority of them were not. I I don't replace them near as often. Or leather undergarments.

SPEAKER_04 13:46

Hear me out. Sell them online.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

Ooh. Only fans after two beers.

SPEAKER_04 13:54

After two beers selling socks.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

Patreon, Kim Socks.

SPEAKER_05 13:59

I'm from. I hate it. I'm gonna say that honestly, you'd sell some socks. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

Me?

SPEAKER_05 14:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

Nobody wants my books. We would sell some socks.

SPEAKER_04 14:08

We'd wear them for you. You'd just put your picture on them. She must have a big foot.

SPEAKER_05 14:19

I will not wear a new shoe with an old sock. Has to be new socks. That's funny.

SPEAKER_04 14:25

That is true. That's nice.

SPEAKER_05 14:26

That is funny. All right. So here's my other new guilty pleasure. The other guilty pleasure was that every night when I'm going to bed in these clean sheets is that I wanted a five-minute final finale fireworks show outside my bedroom window as I'm going to bed.

SPEAKER_06 14:44

With a bald eagle.

SPEAKER_05 14:45

Well, that's why I said there's nothing more American than that, other than maybe having a bald eagle sit there on the like eating a hot dog. No, I was gonna eat McDonald's sandwich, but American style. I was gonna dip it in gravy. There you go. You know, I mean, just full American it up. With some sort of country song that's not a country song, like I'm proud of boozy playing in the background. That is the most non-country country song ever. I've listened to that today. Did you hear his newest one? No, is it I like it? Oh, I I enjoy it. Anyway,

Mugshots, Comment Sections, And Conscience

SPEAKER_05 15:21

all right. Here's my guilty pleasure. And uh it's been letting me down the last few months. I feel horrible about enjoying it though, but I kind of enjoy it. It's the uh on Facebook, there's this busted newspaper, Wayne County.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

I had to quit. Why would you quit? Because I felt like a bad human, just like, oh, let's see who it who it is today.

SPEAKER_05 15:44

For those that are unfamiliar, it's a it's basically it's a Facebook marsh up marketplace for human disappointment. Okay, it's uh every morning, it's like I would wake up like an 80-year-old looking at the um you know, the obituaries you know, it's like I was get up, I'd have my diet coke, I'd make sure the weather's gonna be nice, and then I'd say who fucked up the night before.

SPEAKER_01 16:08

So, do you know that Josh and I used to actually make it a uh a game? But it was the cuffs. This was prior to busted newspaper. We would pull up cuffs and we would hide it, and we'd be like, Name what they would name what they were.

SPEAKER_05 16:22

Name what they did. That sounds like a great game.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

Oh, it was a great game.

SPEAKER_05 16:26

You know what's also amazing about it is the comment section so so for people that don't understand, so basically, if you got arrested the night before, everybody in your community knows and I feel kind of I feel bad, low-key, because for some people this is the worst moment of their life. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

Oh, yeah. They just it may have been their first time screwing up, and there it is, all over everybody's news story.

SPEAKER_05 16:52

Hello, how you doing? And more importantly, I feel like in this country you are in it are guilty until proven innocent. Oh, anyway, these are just charges. Yes, yes, yes. These are people that have been arrested and they haven't gone to trial, they haven't been convicted of anything. Right. These are people that have just gotten arrested, and then they detail out, you know, like what they're charged with. And some of this shit is horrible out there.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

It's horrible. I want you in a minute, since you're talking about it, I want I want you to take a look at this picture because in our friend group chat with Dell and hirings and all of us, Corey sends these out when they're that funny. I want you to show those guys in there when I send this to you. You're gonna laugh. All right.

SPEAKER_05 17:36

Well, I want to talk about the comments because the comments can be absolutely amazing.

SPEAKER_06 17:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:41

Because normally it's people that are just this guy's an asshole, this gal's an asshole. Yeah, right. You know, just like his daddy. Didn't happen to a better person.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

Right? Didn't expect that to happen.

SPEAKER_05 17:54

But the wild part is there's always one person that always defends. They're like, nah, he's a good dude. And somebody's like, he stole copper from a church. It's hard to defend this guy.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

He was just protecting it. I knew that guy was troublesome. Oh, they have a good heart. They have a good heart.

SPEAKER_05 18:19

Oh, and what's wild about it is there's I don't know what kind of Facebook or mugshot I would ever take if I ever got arrested.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

It'll probably be you in an after two beers t-shirt.

SPEAKER_02 18:33

I can only hope because that's good marketing. Did you see the newest one with Joey Chestnut? No. He got the hot dog guy?

SPEAKER_01 18:41

Hot dog guy. He got in trouble.

SPEAKER_02 18:43

He got in trouble for assaulting. Battery. Yeah, battery.

SPEAKER_04 18:46

Doesn't affect Fourth of July, though. He's on probation. He's left.

SPEAKER_01 18:50

He got off, but arrested for battery.

SPEAKER_05 18:54

Battery. He beat somebody up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

With a hot dog. You know what? It wasn't with a hot dog.

SPEAKER_05 18:58

You know what the sad part is? You're always like, was it domestic or was it just another dude? Because if it's another dude, I'm alright. I think it was just another dude, kind of hot dog. Yeah, well then fuck, man. Yeah. Party wants to get beat up by the hot dog guy.

SPEAKER_01 19:11

Hot dog champ, Joey Chestnut pleaded. Somebody just trying to make a name for themselves.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

He got probation. It was he got probo. But it was uh in Hamilton County. It was close. Here in Indianapolis lives in Indy. He does. Yes. And funny I didn't know that. Funny side note, our company that I got it.

SPEAKER_05 19:28

Kevin, how do you not have Joey Chestnut on your show?

SPEAKER_04 19:33

It beat me up. So who do you think he hit? Is that what that black eye is?

SPEAKER_02 19:42

He is our official uh hot dog, uh or not hot dog, uh baloney. We sell baloney called Elm Hill, and he does the baloney eating contest down in Tennessee. Yeah. For us.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

I think that we could probably uh he used the St. Elm Mozart cocktail eating champion, too.

SPEAKER_05 19:59

Oh man. Hey, you know horseradish, obviously. What's wild is some of the foods that people eat. So when 84 Lumber opened back up here, they had food challenges to bring in people to and I think they were doing who could eat the most baked beans in like five minutes.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

Oh, bless their hearts.

SPEAKER_05 20:19

But there are people that have records for the most butter sticks of butter. Yeah, I've seen it consume butter, mayonnaise, can you imagine? Oh my god, how many mayonnaise?

SPEAKER_02 20:31

What was the black widow? The black widow did a weird one. Uh, she was a lady. Yeah, yeah, a little Asian lady. Yeah, she she ate something weird and has the record for that. Probably bats, man. She got a bowl.

SPEAKER_05 20:45

Fucking cung foo. As the president said, you know, you can say what you want about Trump. That guy comes up with some clever nicknames. Uh anyway, uh I want to get back to this mugshot shit.

SPEAKER_04 20:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:59

Um here's the other thing that's been really weird about it is every day it was consistent. And last few months, it's been like it's on for a couple days, then it's not, and then it's somebody I don't know who doesn't. I don't know. But we need to get them on here. We do, but more importantly, they haven't been on it. Like they haven't posted anything new since May May 2nd. Check your phone. Check your phone. Well, before I get to, and I always think, did they get arrested? Or is it a family member? Because I want to know who it is. So I mean, like, if for some reason I ever get arrested, I want to be like, can I Venmo you somebody right now to make sure?

SPEAKER_04 21:40

Keep this out your mouth. Oh, do you guys want so you you looked at it? Oh, I never looked at the comments, I'm gonna have to start talking about it.

SPEAKER_01 21:48

I actually had to stop myself because I was like, that was like my morning news. First thing in the morning, you get up. You're doing your morning businesses, you're trying to get up out of bed, and then Getting ready to get part. And that was like part of my morning news. And I was like, this is terrible. I need to quit doing this.

SPEAKER_05 22:07

Part of it for me is I love watching these shows where people get arrested. Oh, I'm all about it. Or I watch the uh Com Patrol Live. Yeah. Well, that but like the 60 Days In. Oh, yeah. Or the, you know, like those kinds of shows. Or um I've really gotten into, I don't know how like your algorithm gets into it, but I got this guy that used to be in prison and then talks about what prison life was like. Yeah. And I just find that shit fascinating.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Does he give you recipes?

SPEAKER_05 22:35

They've talked about it. Yeah. Yeah. So, but then I always look at it like if I ever go to jail, I hope I know at least a few of the people and they're cool to me. So I can spend my week or whatever I am, you know, like chilling out. And uh I always look at it, I'm like, I don't know any of these people, which is maybe a good thing. That is a thing.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

Go back to our last podcast. At least we know we're fed well.

SPEAKER_02 22:59

You're gonna be like you're gonna be like Mayo in the get hard movie where he has to learn how to go to prison and not get beat up or raped. I would not do well, man.

SPEAKER_05 23:07

I'm telling you right now, it's like uh it the movie uh Office Space, where he says, like, you gotta go in and either fuck somebody or get fuck somebody up. Yeah, like you've got Yeah. Oh man, it that shit scares the piss out of me. I have no interest in going to jail.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

Whatever you would get caught with is just minor and it's just that the county. I don't think that you're gonna be like You're not gonna be a major criminal.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

You're just gonna be a minor criminal.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

Yeah, you're gonna be in with like the big dogs that are.

SPEAKER_05 23:42

You're like a misdemeanor. Like a misdemeanor, you definitely misdemeanor kind of guy. You're a misdemeanor.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

I don't think anybody's like carbon out shivs in there.

SPEAKER_05 23:51

People get killed in locals, man. Yeah. And you know what I love about is it though Annie's got us. I'm like, man, I'm a sub the only people that get fucked up for the most part are chomos, and I'm okay with it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

Not gonna lie, I am too.

SPEAKER_05 24:08

Make sure you got your paperwork ready. Oh, that's the thing. You better walk in and being like, possession. Possession. Yeah. I had a pen. Dewey! Dewey!

SPEAKER_06 24:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:25

Oh, all right. All right. This is taking longer than I thought. This is good. No, no, no. This is great. This is what after two beers is supposed to be. Here's my second

Graduation Culture And Signing Day Hype

SPEAKER_05 24:33

thing. Okay. That was my first. This one is really starting like, oh my God. It's fucking bugging the shit out of me. I feel like in this country we have gotten to a point where we celebrate shit that is not that fucking important. But we celebrate it all the time. So for instance. So for instance.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

Oh my gosh, I think I know what this is going to be.

SPEAKER_05 24:55

It's going to that.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

I think JP started this, didn't he?

SPEAKER_05 24:59

No, but that's that's an example. Okay. All right, let's do that one. So um actually it was a guy I used to work with, and uh he posted a picture of him and his wife with his grandson who was celebrating his fourth grade graduation. Yeah. Fourth grade? Fourth grade. Well, the one you're talking about was fifth grade. Who the fuck cares that you graduated from fourth grade?

SPEAKER_02 25:26

I've heard of middle school, like sixth, and then I've heard of you know the new high school.

SPEAKER_05 25:31

My daughter had preschool graduation, which basically means she learned not to shit her pants. Yeah. And get on with her kids.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

We celebrate everything. I'm gonna tell you what.

SPEAKER_02 25:47

I thought it was hilarious that you post you sent us that picture that they were doing a signing. Oh, buddy, that's what this is all about. I was like dying laughing, bro.

SPEAKER_05 25:56

All right, so that led me into those poor kids. Oh, so um, there was a a local picture that went around about some kids that uh were graduating. Now, let me start this first of all. This is very important. I think that we have to teach this generation of kids that you do not have to go to a four-year university to be successful advice. Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

I agree, right?

SPEAKER_05 26:25

100%. Yeah. And I, from what I understand, Richmond High School here locally has a really good vocational entry-level tech school. And I I want to give those guys 100% props.

SPEAKER_04 26:39

Yeah, I think a lot of the schools do.

SPEAKER_05 26:40

Yeah, and I you know, I remember when I was in high school in the late 90s, I guess it was early 90s. Middle. Um, I graduated mid-90s, but there were kids that would come from the county schools that would come to Richmond to take uh classes like carpentry or mechanics or that sort of thing. And I I love that. Yeah, I think that we should push young men and women that you do not need to get a four-year college degree hanging on the wall to be a successful individual. You don't. No, no, my son just graduated from Purdue with a mechanical engineering degree, couldn't be more proud.

SPEAKER_04 27:17

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 27:18

Yeah, but there are kids that that don't, you know, they just don't have that aspiration, and that's fine. I some of my best friends in the world, Union Carpenter, Union Pipe Fitter, yeah, very successful. A lot of the if you want to be an entrepreneur with those types of degrees or those, and not degree, I guess it's a uh certification. Certification, you you can make six figures all day long.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

Especially because they're hard to find some.

SPEAKER_05 27:45

Exactly. Well, that's the thing. You learn to weld or drive a truck, you'll have a job forever.

SPEAKER_04 27:50

If you learn to weld, you will kill it.

SPEAKER_05 27:53

But the thing that I'm getting into, and this is Jeremy already brought it up. Here locally, uh a high school graduated some kids that are taking a job at a place I actually used to work. Yeah, you did. What? Yeah, now I don't know where these kids are working specific within that location. I'm going to assume only because of where I was at, that they don't have a high school or college degree that they're probably working at the factory. Okay. And and again, I'm not hating on factory work. I think uh that's golden. You know? A lot of people earned a great living, especially in the 50s and 60s.

SPEAKER_01 28:35

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 28:36

Working at a factory. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

Factory people make more than I do.

SPEAKER_05 28:40

Well, I heard a rumor that these kids are making. I I could tell you whether I heard the rumor was that these kids were making Oh, I'm sure it's probably true. Well, I think it'd piss off a lot of people that's going to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 28:54

Well, I'm gonna tell you right now, it was more than what people made after working there for 15 years.

SPEAKER_05 29:00

Yeah, it's my mom never made this much there.

SPEAKER_01 29:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 29:04

And she retired from there. Oh, wow. You know, more than it's almost what I make as a base. Yeah. Right? Right, and they're in high school, man. They can't even afford to buy the blue shit.

SPEAKER_02 29:20

Get them $14 an hour, damn it. Come on.

SPEAKER_05 29:22

But I want to specifically talk about oh, there it is. Yeah, I was hoping you wouldn't show it, but there it is. Oh, there it is.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

I'm gonna take a pause for the call.

SPEAKER_05 29:35

No, you you've better hurry right back out. Here's what I here's my thing about this, okay? I'm not I I love the fact that they have a program that teaches vocations. I love it. I do too. What I'm more concerned with is the fact that we celebrate everything in this country now. It's a signing day. Like it's a signing day. All these kids. And these guys didn't half-ass anything. They went full Division I recruiting ceremony right here. They've got the long table, the branded backdrop. Should have given them the hats. They've got executives standing behind the kids.

SPEAKER_02 30:14

Hey, they should have put the hats down like Belden in whatever wire company it was, and they had to choose one and put it on. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 30:21

Belvin and Westco. Oh. All they need is Stephen A. Smith coming on afterwards, going, oh man, Belton got this new recruit. I thought he was going with the caterpillar piper at top.

SPEAKER_02 30:33

Top five in the whole country.

SPEAKER_05 30:37

He can exclude that wire better than anybody. Now, what's wild is they show them signing something. What is it? They're W-2s? Like, what are they signing? Now, I'm gonna tell you here locally that that manufacturing company struggled to get people to get employed. They had a program where if you were on drugs, they would pay for your rehab just for you to work. That's literally the only thing that they need. What's the recruiting process? Can you pass a drug test?

SPEAKER_04 31:08

Close enough. Well, uh, what do you think? When I was still pipe fitting, that was the first words out of my supervisor's mouth.

SPEAKER_02 31:15

What do you think they signed? That's what I'm saying. A certificate. I don't have no for the wall, maybe a certificate. Like, hey, I'm I'm D1 at building, bro.

SPEAKER_05 31:24

You know, I gotta tell you, I was at a uh I uh at that company, I was an outside or well, I was an outside rep. An inside rep, I did marketing, I did all kinds of shit there. And I remember specifically that they had us all sign this uh uh this big picture at a national sales meeting. And I remember before I got fired that uh I would go up and look at all the signatures of people that weren't there anymore. I wanted to go up and cross them all off. And it's anyway, my whole point was it's not about the fact that the kids got hired because what they got hired at, from what I understand, was in the mid-70s.

SPEAKER_03 32:08

Nice.

SPEAKER_05 32:09

Right?

SPEAKER_01 32:10

And to come out, yes, to come out of high school. I mean, I want my picture taken.

SPEAKER_05 32:16

And I credit Richmond High School for establishing vocational programs that allow a kid that not have to go to a four-year university to come out and make a living that makes you already in the upper probably five percent. To be actually able to live right now. That is awesome. Yeah, I mean, these are kids that can buy a home potentially, right?

SPEAKER_01 32:35

They can afford groceries right now.

SPEAKER_05 32:37

What's funny to me is the whole point of this signing. It's like, it's like uh Scretti said, it it looks like a D. These kids aren't committing to go to Ohio State. Yeah. Right? They're basically agreeing to work at a place where for the next 30 years of their life, they hope to get told by a guy named Skeeter that they need to pick it up a little bit and that uh mandatory overturns.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

Do you know what? They didn't have to go to a D1 school and then get hired at an entry level, though.

SPEAKER_05 33:11

Because you don't have a degree. This these kids signed a copy. I'm not saying that. No, no, I'm just saying it happened. Absolutely. My point is why do we need this kind of theatrics? Like when you got your job. That's my whole point. It's all show. But why do we need that nowadays?

SPEAKER_02 33:29

Well, it's because You know why? Because they're trying to get other kids. They want other kids so their feelings aren't hurt. They want to sign something.

SPEAKER_01 33:36

No, I think that honestly, I think it's probably a promotion for HR.

SPEAKER_04 33:40

Trying to draw in the younger crowd because everybody's retiring out.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

Because everybody wants to move away from here. You know what I mean? Yeah, but here's the point.

SPEAKER_05 33:49

If you read that document, they don't talk about the salary they make, they don't tell you what job they're taking. For all I know, they're gonna be janitors and scrubbing toilets for twelve dollars an hour.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:01

You know?

SPEAKER_02 34:02

But my my point being We need to have an after two beer signing day for some of these kids.

SPEAKER_05 34:06

Well, I don't even know what they'd be signing for, but yeah. It doesn't matter. Right? Every time I open a beer, I'm like, I gotta I'm gonna take my liver to natural light. It's all about it. Just lay out the hats of the beers, whichever one they do. It's just like people that uh I don't know. I get on Facebook and social media, and I people that see people that celebrate shit that it's not that big of a deal. What it must be good. What was it? Did they see it?

unknown 34:38

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:40

Look at the banner. I can't read it. What's it say? Richmond Police. Richmond. Everything golly, man. It's a signing. It's so cheesy. They don't even have a they can't get that kid a tablecloth.

SPEAKER_04 34:56

I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna go live next time. For the next four to five minutes, I'm gonna have an initial sign on my toilet.

SPEAKER_05 35:03

Here's the thing that's interesting about that, though.

SPEAKER_01 35:05

I'll have a signing.

SPEAKER_05 35:07

I my mother retired from that place, my sister worked there, my my brother-in-law still works there. Uh, some of my absolute best friends in the world work there. And it was wild because here in a small community, people would be like, Oh man, it my dad worked there, my grandpa worked there. And they all say, This used to be a better place until the current management came in. Am I right? Or am I right? All the management every year. Oh man, these new managers, this place used to be a great place to work. And I'm gonna tell you right now, if you work in a factory job, and I'm not hating on you for having that job, but just know this 100% that if they could figure out a way to teach a robot how to automate your doing, you are awesome.

SPEAKER_02 35:54

Oh, they're doing it. Yeah, they're doing it now.

SPEAKER_05 35:56

That's the a perfect example is that facility right there in the in the late 60s, early 70s, at full capacity, they had seven, eight hundred full-time employees. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:07

Now that building, but honestly, you say this, but I am gonna tell you that the people that keep up with the technology and they know how to run that robot, they know how to run AI, they know how to do all of those things, those are gonna be the people that still stay employed.

SPEAKER_05 36:23

Which is very little. I'm not debating that.

SPEAKER_01 36:26

Okay. I'm simply saying not everybody, but like if you stay up with it, you know how to do the robotics. You know how to run it.

SPEAKER_05 36:35

That's why I'm saying, though, and those are mostly jobs that you need a certification in. You can't leave high school and then go into a manufacturing job where you work on a line because those are the jobs that I'm telling you in 30 years they won't be there. And my point with that is that facility is full to this day. There's no manufacturing facility left that in that place that they don't have machines. But if you drive by there, the parking lot is half full. And the reason is those jobs didn't go to Mexico, they got automated, they got replaced by robots, they got replaced by guys that uh more efficient. Well, yes. But it's not always I I'm not saying I can tell you right now, I worked and I'm telling you, there were guys that used to run a manufacturing line, and now they're running four lines. Yeah. Because the machines have gotten so good. Yeah. And that's what they're doing now with entry-level jobs.

SPEAKER_02 37:37

They're they're doing it everywhere. Blue Buffalo, Clint Johnson told me, they got robot dogs that are doing people's jobs. And Clint's job is to make sure the robots do keep up with, you know, and that Blue Buffalo facility before they did the expansion.

SPEAKER_05 37:53

I don't know now, but before they did that expansion, that building was enormous. He only had like 150 employees in the whole place. It's huge, man. It's enormous. Now, I don't know how many they have now, but my whole what I'm trying to say is you have to learn a trade.

unknown 38:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 38:09

If you want to make it in the future, learn a trade.

SPEAKER_01 38:14

And work hard at it and be the best at it.

SPEAKER_05 38:16

Well, yeah. I mean, that that goes without saying. I mean, regardless of what you choose in life to do, right? Oh man. This is a tangent for me because I sit and I I I see, and but more importantly, this is all about the fact that we celebrate shit that doesn't necessarily gender reveals.

SPEAKER_04 38:34

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 38:35

We didn't have those back in RC.

SPEAKER_04 38:37

All the prom videos?

SPEAKER_02 38:39

We do. Who's bugged me? Don't knock the gender reveals. Which ones? All of them.

SPEAKER_01 38:43

I'm knocking the gender reveals.

SPEAKER_02 38:44

Don't knock them because we do fireworks for them and it's been awesome.

SPEAKER_01 38:47

Sorry, for your business.

SPEAKER_04 38:49

You're celebrating prom, not graduation. You're celebrating prom.

SPEAKER_05 38:53

Which what are they celebrating? Just going? Going to prom. I'm like, why that's dumb as shit.

SPEAKER_01 38:59

They pay like big time money photographers to do prom pictures now.

SPEAKER_02 39:06

For their IG.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

Like we used to stand behind like a background and be like, here's our prom picture.

SPEAKER_02 39:13

Yeah, my. I mean, when we went to school, social media was a good idea.

SPEAKER_01 39:16

I'm not old guy now.

SPEAKER_05 39:18

Thank God we knew it.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

Thank God it was not.

SPEAKER_05 39:21

It's all about Instagram love. Yeah. People love it.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

It kept us out of a lot of trouble. We stayed out of busted newspaper.

SPEAKER_02 39:29

Yeah, if we would have had that when we were in high school, we would have been pictures were not as purple passions.

SPEAKER_04 39:35

I'm gonna tell you what, I'm just glad they didn't have cameras back in the day. I've done some sketchy shit.

SPEAKER_05 39:40

You know, it's funny you bring that up because I that actually just was posted recently where a uh a local individual, Kevin Shook, wears the glasses, the um the meta glasses. And I think all the time I did some not shady. I was a child. I was a kid. I was 21 doing dumb shit. And if they had camera phones back then. Thank God they did. Oh my am I right?

SPEAKER_01 40:06

I mean, I saw you like drop L's on a whole ass coffee table.

SPEAKER_02 40:11

Oh, I did. You'd be in jail a lot soon on Cubs.

SPEAKER_01 40:14

No, I never know. Like Busted newspapers. Yeah, I'll give you the example.

SPEAKER_05 40:19

Actually, I kind of wish I had it because I'd love to. Back in the day, we were at my buddy's house.

SPEAKER_06 40:26

I was right there, wasn't I?

SPEAKER_05 40:28

Uh and um me and a buddy of mine, Mike D, we were uh he had a he had a broken down couch, and he had an old dirty coffee table. My buddy Brian. Shout out Brian Hill. And I would run and I would jump onto the coffee table and I would jump up in the air as hard as I could, and then I would land on the couch.

SPEAKER_01 40:53

It was such a broken ass couch.

SPEAKER_05 40:54

It was yeah, uh especially after we're fucking jumping on it from eight foot. Well, then we came up with the idea. I said, you know, if I put a chair on that coffee table and I run and I jump onto the coffee table, jump up onto the chair, I think I can get my hands and feet to touch the ceiling before it land on that couch. And we did. We would run.

SPEAKER_06 41:19

Well, we didn't.

SPEAKER_05 41:20

It was no, no, no. This was the first week. A week later, it was just him and I. There was like eight people in the house, it wasn't a big deal. Week later, there might have been 30 people. This is when house parties were cool, right?

SPEAKER_01 41:32

Oh, house parties where you break your back on a so Mike D says, Hey, let's do this again.

SPEAKER_05 41:38

And I'm like, Man, no, I don't think we should. He's like, Yeah, I think we should. So, same deal. Now we've got an audience of 30 people watching us run across the living room living room floor, jump up on this coffee table, jump up on this chair, going up, and my and now it was a hundred pounds ago, too.

SPEAKER_06 41:57

Yes, my hands have been a little bit ago.

SPEAKER_05 42:00

My hands and feet would hit the ceiling, and like these seven-foot ceilings, and then we'd land on the couch. And then the next time I run up, I jump up on that coffee table, I hit that chair, and the next thing I know, I'm laying perpendicular on that coffee table. That chair had shot out, and it I was vertical and came crashing down, like crossing the T on this coffee table. And everybody it went quiet. Real quiet. I uh I heard you die. I heard people that were saying that we thought you had paralyzed yourself and they were leaving the house. They didn't want to be involved at that point.

SPEAKER_04 42:44

You were underage, possibly.

SPEAKER_05 42:46

No, that was my job. I tried to do that. I started laughing because my hat had fallen off and I realized what had happened, and at that point, people lose it. And what Kimmy's referring to with the uh light uh the ashtray, I rolled off the coffee table and it had one of those big plastic ashtrays. I had landed on it ashtray and I had destroyed it, and I didn't even know it was under my back.

SPEAKER_01 43:11

But he had a circle on his back. Just fucking nailed this video.

SPEAKER_05 43:16

That was awesome. It was a perfect circle on his back from the I'm pretty sure if they had video that, I'd be rich, at least with America.

SPEAKER_04 43:23

You know, the shit I did in hotels.

SPEAKER_06 43:26

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:30

Yeah, your your thong videos. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 43:32

There is no video's my favorite.

SPEAKER_02 43:34

The which one?

SPEAKER_01 43:35

The blue jean thong.

SPEAKER_05 43:36

The blue jeans was the best, yeah. All right.

A To B News Starts Here

SPEAKER_05 43:39

Uh, we are now going to jump into the A to B news section where Putin walks us through interesting stories.

SPEAKER_04 43:46

I've got a couple right now. We'll go off uh the first one. You know what? I would do this for any of you guys, because this is what a friend is all

Bees Used As A Weapon

SPEAKER_04 43:52

about. Rebecca Woods, 59 of Massachusetts, uh was found guilty of assault and battery on officers for trying to protect her. Friend from being evicted from his house. Okay. Weapon of choice? Bees. Oh, I saw this. Bees everywhere. Save yourself. I would run like a mofo. In the process of evicting her friend, the governor reported, of April 28th, one officer had to be hospitalized and others were stung repeatedly. This is like bees? In addition, Woods lost about a thousand bees in a kerfuffle. Some of them were crushed. That's what happens.

SPEAKER_05 44:32

Wasn't there a uh with a suicide guy, the um the one with the rats?

SPEAKER_04 44:37

Rats might have been. Yeah. But her friend wasn't even there. This is a superhero. Yeah, her friend wasn't even there. He was at the library looking up how to stop the eviction. Look at how happy she is.

SPEAKER_02 44:50

Ladies, she said.

SPEAKER_00 44:51

She's like, you're not on my watch.

SPEAKER_02 44:53

Hey, she's like Candyman. You know how Candyman had the beads come out of his mouth? Yes. Yeah. Look at her.

SPEAKER_04 44:58

She was uh proud. She's so proud. Her own experiences with being evicted compelled her to intervene on her friend's behalf. She's like, I got you bitches. Look at her.

SPEAKER_01 45:07

That's a on behalf. On behalf, get it.

SPEAKER_04 45:12

But yeah, that's I mean, I would do that.

SPEAKER_02 45:14

Would you be if I had beads?

SPEAKER_04 45:16

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:17

I'd I'd even judge up like a big ass bee. She'd be in prison if it was me, because I would have died.

SPEAKER_05 45:22

Oh my God. You'd be like uh what's the the video from the 90s uh blind melon? Blind melon. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 45:29

You'd be out there dancing.

SPEAKER_04 45:34

Why does this guy keep throwing his ass at us? Look at how happy she is. Oh, yeah, that smug look on her face. Look at that.

SPEAKER_05 45:41

That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 45:42

You bee tripping if you think you're gonna convict him.

SPEAKER_05 45:46

A beekeeper, man. She's a beekeeper. Did you just go to the hive?

SPEAKER_04 45:49

That just reminds me of like the whole Chris Farley on uh Tommy Boy.

SPEAKER_06 45:53

Hey, he's everywhere. Save yourself!

SPEAKER_02 45:56

Let me ask you this. Did she just go to her hive and like release the beast release the beast or something?

SPEAKER_01 46:02

She just had to get the mama.

SPEAKER_02 46:03

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 46:04

She had to get the queen. Get him all out of the video.

SPEAKER_02 46:07

That would have been hilarious. I'm sure there's some uh sure there's videos somewhere. Something somebody doesn't know.

SPEAKER_05 46:12

So you're thinking they gotta wear those uh body cams. Right? Yeah. Oh, there we go. All right, that's a good story. Plen you're excellent for this.

SPEAKER_04 46:22

Well, the next one I got, in case you have a AFib, like some of the names, that there are no names on this next story because I don't know. I mean, one of the guys probably doesn't want his name out

The Accidental Medical Reset

SPEAKER_04 46:32

there. Doctor accidentally fixes a patient's irregular heartbeat by sticking a finger somewhere. In his butthole, yes. Right up the rectum. Walking home one night, a 29-year-old man from Queens, his name is not in this article. Damn near so started experiencing palpitations up to 140 beats per minute. But when he was admitted to the hospital, the solution came as a bit of a surprise in the area further south. So his heart was beating, he's got out of beat. Rhythm. Beating really fast. And uh before using standard procedures to restore the regularity, the attending doctor needed to check for bleeding and whatnot. And by doing that, it immediately lowered his heart rate to about 80 beats a minute.

SPEAKER_02 47:22

Lowered it. That works for Dalton, too.

SPEAKER_01 47:24

So he just needed to really get rid of some endorphin.

SPEAKER_04 47:33

Unless it just scared him and it shocked his heart back after it scared me right now. Everybody ever put the finger in my butthole. Oh no, but he's having a heart attack. Oh, it's gonna be the opposite.

SPEAKER_01 47:43

Hey, you're in charge, CPR. You're in charge. Mouth to mouth.

SPEAKER_05 47:48

Yeah, finger up the butt. Let me ask you if somebody ever stuck a finger in your butthole, pass the first knuckle, because I know you said that you like the first knuckle. I remember that shit pan. I was there. Yeah. Jimmy said one time in a shit pan that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 48:03

We don't need to discuss this idea. No, not ever.

SPEAKER_04 48:07

I just think it was just one knuckle baby. I think she said the texture. Hey, that's the theory.

SPEAKER_02 48:17

I not by experience, but I've heard sexual pleasure for men is when they get ready to go, they put a finger in their butthole.

SPEAKER_05 48:24

That's a whole lie. Well do you remember in the movie PCU not PCU, uh Road Trip? Yes. Where he got milked. Yes. Yes. And she stuck his fingers, but yeah. Yeah. It's a very sensitive area. But I'm just simply saying if somebody sticks their finger in my butt, the last thing my heart pressure is gonna or heart rate's gonna do is go. Well, they say the theory is at the examples of thanks.

SPEAKER_01 48:52

Are you gonna thank them after being? I will. Oh my god, thank you. I was like, do you want dinner?

SPEAKER_05 48:57

You want me to buy you dinner now? It's like the reason I don't try cocaine. I'm afraid I'd love it. I'm gonna my life is forever change the moment it happens, and I'm like, oh, I get it now. Oh just going, uh, you guys you got some more?

SPEAKER_04 49:29

Next one.

Undercover Cops Sting Each Other

SPEAKER_04 49:31

Now, this is from Detroit. This is from almost 10 years ago. I think it was 2017. This is when I looked up for like the past episodes. And uh a group of undercover cops in Detroit from the let me look this up, 11th precinct were going on a sting to sell drugs. Not knowing that cops from the other precinct were going on a sting to buy drugs. Oh my god, this is the greatest story ever. These precincts are 11 and 12 are literally f less than four miles apart.

SPEAKER_01 50:05

Yes, so they went from the others, and next thing you know, a bunch more cops show up.

SPEAKER_05 50:12

You know what's wild is both sides thought they had nailed it.

SPEAKER_04 50:16

Yes, and they started fighting. Fists were thrown and everything. Oh, yeah. The uh deputy, you know, the chief was like, This is uh embarrassing. It's like uh Oh my god, the best on patrol line ever. It's like Bugs Bunny wrote this script.

SPEAKER_06 50:36

It was just like, ha ha, here's what I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_04 50:39

You go buy from here, you go sell from here. Like these places are literally, I looked it up, they're 3.8 miles apart. Really?

SPEAKER_01 50:47

Like in Detroit, like a 100 nine-minute drive. It's Detroit.

SPEAKER_04 50:52

And they had no idea.

SPEAKER_01 50:53

It's Detroit.

SPEAKER_04 50:54

I was like, oh my god, that'd be so hilarious. Ah, we got you. You're busted. No, you're busted. Detroit is crazy. I used Detroit.

SPEAKER_01 51:01

Detroit is absolutely crazy. You can go one mile, like not even a mile. You can go three blocks this way. Beautiful. You go three blocks that way, and you are completely in the project. Right. And do not do not stop at a stoplight, or else you might not have like tires and wheels.

SPEAKER_05 51:22

Oh, yeah. Wow. It's insane. He went there.

SPEAKER_01 51:25

Crazy.

SPEAKER_05 51:26

You got honky lips written on the side of your car, like on uh national. Vacation. You want to go down to the place that says rib tips.

SPEAKER_01 51:38

Not tip rips.

SPEAKER_04 51:40

Moose rips. All right. You got one more. I got one

Bulldozer Revenge At The Pub

SPEAKER_04 51:44

more for you. This is one is uh Man of my own heart, I guess. Uh gentleman over in uh Wales got a little bitter after they're talking about his failed marriage and decided to go grab a bulldozer and hit the pub.

unknown 51:56

What?

SPEAKER_04 51:57

Oh shit. Yes. Let me bring it up here. Uh why would you drunk man stolen a well not? I don't know. Was it stolen if it's your dad's bulldozer? No, you borrowed it. That's a bar. He ran it into the bar after patrons mocked his failed marriage. Not before sending threats to the owner of can't stop a dozer and it will be a drive-thru soon.

SPEAKER_05 52:24

Yes. You know what? We we did a story one time here on After Two Beers about the guy, I think it was in Colorado. Oh killdozer? Yeah, the killdozer that put armor all the way around it.

SPEAKER_04 52:36

And he got Yeah, there's CCTV. See now that's him right there. Oh my God. Why is his pants down? Well, he's bleeding. He's drunk. He was absolutely two times the legal limit. In order to do that.

SPEAKER_00 52:49

So that's why his pants were down? Yes. Okay. His father, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 52:53

They tried to block him with a truck and trailer, but he decided to run over it. Oh, that's great. Did about $30,000 worth of damage. Um, his father actually had to grab another tractor and hit the cab until demo derby with tractors? Yes, to get him to stop. He had to damage the cab enough to get him to stop. Oh. Because after he hit the pub, he was heading towards his ex-wife's house.

SPEAKER_05 53:17

I think I would leave the pub alone, but I would fuck up the parking lot.

SPEAKER_04 53:20

Well, that's that's what they said. They had a fundraiser for the pub.

SPEAKER_05 53:24

Had a fundraiser for the club. He goes, I'm gonna make it a drive through. You know the world part. I mean, here in Richmond, we had a slow peat, slow speed chase. Oh, with a with a street cleaner, sweeper. The street sweeper. But honestly, like I could see people if they had access to a bulldozer that would do shit like this. Oh, yeah. Absolutely in a heartbeat. I mean, we I know a lot of idiots.

SPEAKER_01 53:52

Hey, I know a lot of smart people that are just like fuck them.

SPEAKER_05 53:57

Well, that's what happened in Colorado, the killdozer, which there's a documentary on this. That's a good documentary. The guy put armor all the way around this thing, and then he basically it was the city council that wouldn't allow him to do something, and he went around and destroyed all the businesses of the city council, and they couldn't get into the thing. Because he had armored it up, and then he had cameras mounted and he had video. Like it wasn't like you know they could shoot through. I mean, that's I don't think he killed anybody either besides himself.

SPEAKER_02 54:29

Did you see

Youth Sports Fights And Taking It Too Far

SPEAKER_02 54:30

I thought you were gonna bring up did you see the um Little League uh coach in Massachusetts or whatever that went after the ref, the umpire, on the field, and they got in a fist fight and they started punching each other, and he got the one guy down and he rolled over, and then you see the shortstop come over and just start wailing on the ref. Oh no. On the ump? On the ump, and they had to pull him. It was crazy. What is I had nothing? I mean it was like I bet it would they were probably 14 or higher, but I mean it was one of those when I was 18, 19 years old for a summer job.

SPEAKER_05 55:01

I uh did umpiring for softball here locally. I did fuck that. They paid me $10 a game, and it was not worth it. And I had a an adult follow me out as an 18-year-old to the parking lot with the the rule book, and it was on a uh a play at shortstop where the ball was hit to um uh it was a ground ball hit to the shortstop. And you remember, and I do remember this, and it was the runner was advancing from second to third, and the runner ran into the shortstop, and it was a whether or not it was and I called the interference, yeah. And I swear to god, this guy follows me out into the parking lot after the a full-grown adult, yeah, and I'm 18 years old making ten dollars. I got ten dollars, and if I did more than two games, I got a hot dog coke. And they followed me out into the parking lot, and I'm like, this is to your it's uh people take shit too seriously.

SPEAKER_04 56:05

I did that in high school too. I refereed flag football, and I was like, guys, your kids aren't going D1. This is flag football. Right, this ain't a bell 18.

SPEAKER_02 56:14

If I miss the call, I missed the call. I don't care. It happened Sunday at my game, Cedar Point. Yeah, tell us about it. So where the fight broke out, his son got in a fisticuff. Holy cow. So they took well, they took Javen and they they they didn't they didn't call they didn't call anything, and they changed refs. It was that bad. So they didn't call anything, they threw Javen down hard. He went back and went after him, punched him in the face. They separated the coach ran on the floor, he got a technical, you can't run on the floor. It was it was crazy. And the scorekeepers got into it, the director had to come over. It was one of the craziest games, and I'm just like, why? I just look at and I look at my kids, I'm like, this is not how we act. This isn't this isn't what we do, you know. Like, this is not right.

SPEAKER_05 56:58

Like, they're not gonna ESPN's not here covering this.

SPEAKER_02 57:03

It was so bad, and you got the coaches over there aggon it on and clapping and cussing and oh yeah, they're you know, it's unbelievable, man. Like the way people act, like you said, for what? Uh it's because we for a medal that goes around your neck? Oh my god. But you know what?

SPEAKER_01 57:20

I'd almost rather some patty take it a little too serious than just take it like a participation.

SPEAKER_05 57:28

Nah, I I I here's the thing. I'm not disagreeing. The participation is what I was talking about earlier, where you're you make everybody out to be a winner, but at the same time, I don't think you don't want to go too hard on the fact that there's a spot in the middle. A fight should never break out for children's sports. No. Ever.

SPEAKER_01 57:49

No.

SPEAKER_05 57:49

Ever. And it's amazing how many people will bitch and complain, like, oh, this coach sucks. Well, then you volunteer and show up after work.

SPEAKER_01 57:58

You take care of this extra time.

SPEAKER_05 58:02

Set up travel and everything.

SPEAKER_01 58:04

Well, it it just goes And it's normally the parents that barely make it to two of the events that are the bitch.

SPEAKER_05 58:10

Yeah, it uh we could do another one. There's a whole nother campfire. We could get into it. All

Events, Patreon, And Thanks

SPEAKER_05 58:17

right, we're gonna wrap this one up. Uh, we've been bullshitting at the mouth for a while now, and uh Kevin's got shit to do tomorrow, so we're gonna let him go home. Uh thanks again to everybody that uh tuned in tonight or listened to the show. You know, I was uh telling somebody here locally, I don't think people realize this. Uh 20% of our listens come from outside of North America. Yeah, they do. Germany is huge. Yeah, it's still our number two city. I think they get confused. They just see after two beers. Yeah, beers. And we're grow we're growing in New Zealand.

SPEAKER_01 58:49

Theater here.

SPEAKER_05 58:50

Yeah, so all the Kiwis out there. We love you guys. New Zealand. I love it. That's my go-to place. I want to go.

SPEAKER_02 58:57

Sounds like we should have a podcast there.

SPEAKER_05 58:58

Oh my god, man. I'd love to. We'll do a whole story on the test.

SPEAKER_02 59:02

Anybody listening in New Zealand that wants to send us out, let us know.

SPEAKER_04 59:06

I'll tell you what.

SPEAKER_05 59:07

If I win that uh Queen of Hearts from the I'll take us all there. We're going to New Zealand. Yeah, for some reason, we're we're we're popping up in New Zealand, so that's uh thanks again to the Moose for sponsoring us. Make sure you tune in to uh our trivia on the 30th at the VFW here local. Uh we will be at the American Legion on uh June 14th. Uh, love to have you for that. And then uh we're doing our 90s alcohol night at uh the Moose on the 20th, where we're doing $2 beers, $3 fireball shots. Uh, would love to have you there.

SPEAKER_01 59:46

And free entertainment.

SPEAKER_05 59:48

Well, yeah, absolutely. No charge, no cover charge. And uh you can get a open to everybody, too. Yeah, a bucket of beers with six of them for 12 bucks.

SPEAKER_01 59:56

Yeah. And if your kid in high school they want a line dance, bring them in.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:02

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's the other thing. It's uh eight, it's actually it's two years and over. I mean, I've seen little children out there dancing.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:12

Smell cheering.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:13

Cheering. Yeah, I've been drinking since after two beers. So uh we haven't assigned or aligned anything with these guys yet, but I just love them. I hope it all works out for them. The uh the flying mummies will be kicking off their season here regularly very soon, too. Sunday, 25th. So uh make sure you support local baseball. I'd love there's two things in my life that I have a I'm a I have a soft spot for. It's uh it's stand-up comedy and uh and baseball, especially minor league baseball.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:43

Oh, local baseball is the best.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:45

Yeah, minor league baseball. If it regardless of where you live, if you're listening to us, Indianapolis, you got a beautiful stadium to go watch the Indians. And then now the clowns, they've it's like the banana ball deal. Yeah, uh, go support those guys. Um, I love that kind of stuff. So thanks again to Kevin Shook. Thanks again to all our sponsors. If you uh you dig the show and if you want to help us out, we greatly appreciate it. All you've got to do, go to patreon.com backslash after two beers. Uh if you want to go buy some beer yourself, make sure you look out the bottle shop. Or just like and share it. How about that? Like and share it.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:17

Or if you want to be a sponsor, hit us up.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:20

Yeah. Also, as as uh Pudding just said, it doesn't cost you a penny. The biggest thing you can do to help us promote the show, continue the growth, is simply just share it. Uh, give us a review, uh, hit the share button, and uh let your friends and neighbors know just how much fun you're having. And uh as you're hanging out at ballparks this summer, just throw the show on, throw in some earbuds, and uh put something in your old uh Yeti cooler or your Stanley Cup, and uh we'll keep you entertained. Yeah, we will. Uh, you know, we say it at the end of every show, and is by far the most important thing we say at the end of every program.

Reach Out To Someone Struggling

SPEAKER_05 1:01:59

That's very important. It's simply this you know, life is hard, life is uh it gets it gets hard, man. It does. Price of things are going up, and uh gas is still through the roof, and grocery prices are ridiculous, and some people are struggling to make ends meet, and it gets hard to uh, you know, just keep going. So if you know somebody in your life that you think they might be struggling, they might just not be themselves, do me a solid. Just reach out to them, ask them how they're doing, let them know that uh you care about them, let them know you appreciate them. It might be the one thing that keeps them going tomorrow.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:33

So your friendship is priceless.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:35

Yeah, and and so are humans. Yeah, it's like the whole Kyle Bush thing, early 40s. I don't know the dude, never met the guy. No, whether he was an asshole or not, it's sad. He's he has a family, and uh every day is a blessing.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:50

Yeah, it truly is.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:55

I mean it's it's it's wild. Every day is a blessing, and I mean that sincerely. All right, Gibler, puddin. We say it at the end of the show, but uh it's more important than ever. We'll talk to them all next time. After two beers.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:12

Take me home, take me home home.