10. How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome as a Female Entrepreneur (and Stop Feeling Behind)

If you’ve ever thought, “who am I to be doing this?” or felt like at some point people are going to figure you out… yeah, we need to talk.

In this episode, I’m breaking down imposter syndrome in business in a very real way. Not the fluffy “just be confident” advice, but what it actually looks like when you’re in it, especially as a female entrepreneur trying to grow something that actually makes money.

Because most of the time, it’s not obvious.

It shows up when you’re working all day but nothing is really moving forward. When you keep tweaking instead of posting. When you’re consuming more than you’re creating. Or when you feel behind, even though if you actually zoomed out, you’d realize you’ve done a lot.

I also get into why this happens, from how we’re conditioned, to what happens when visibility feels vulnerable, to the weird “prove-it” loop a lot of us get stuck in. And more importantly, how to start recognizing it faster so you can move through it instead of sitting in it for weeks.

We talk about:

• the real ways imposter syndrome shows up in your business 
• why you can feel like a fraud even when you’re not 
• how overworking and overthinking are actually fear responses 
• and what to do when you catch yourself spiraling 

If you’ve been stuck in your head, second-guessing yourself, or feeling like you should be further along by now… this one will hit.

💌 Come hang out with me on Instagram:  https://instagram.com/courtneydavini

If this episode helped you, send it to a friend or share it on your stories so I can see you’re listening.

And next time you catch yourself overthinking, stalling, or trying to “prove” something…

Just pause for a second and call it what it is.

You’ll move a lot faster from there.

Transcript

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to the Boss Lady Social Podcast. I’m your host, Courtney Sjoberg Davini, and today we are talking about overcoming imposter syndrome.

Dun dun dun.

I know every single one of you listening to this has experienced this in some way. Especially if you’re a woman and you own a business, those two things alone pretty much guarantee you’ve dealt with it.

I want to talk about it because I’ve learned a lot over the last 13 years in business, nine years full-time, and more importantly, I’ve learned how to exist in this space without constantly beating myself up. So buckle up, because we’re getting into it.

Imposter syndrome is that voice in your head that says, “I don’t actually know what I’m doing, and at some point, people are going to find out.” But what people don’t always realize is how it actually shows up in your business. It’s not always just that thought in your head. It shows up in your behavior.

Sometimes it looks like downplaying your results. Saying things like, “Oh, it was just luck,” or “Right place, right time,” or “Anyone could have done that.” I know at least one of you listening has said that before.

Other times, it shows up as hesitating to charge more. That “who am I to charge that much?” energy. I’ve definitely experienced that. I’ve gone in and out of that over the years, and honestly, even now sometimes I still feel it.

For me, one of the biggest ways it shows up is overworking to prove myself. Over-delivering, over-explaining, overthinking everything. And I used to think that just meant I was a really hard worker. But the truth is, a lot of that came from feeling like I had something to prove.

That’s something that goes deeper for me, too. I’ve been through things in my life where I wasn’t believed, and because of that, I developed this pattern of constantly trying to prove myself. In relationships, in friendships, in business. And while that made me really good at what I do, it also led to burnout.

Now that I’m a mom, I don’t have the capacity to do that all the time. I physically can’t. And that’s actually forced me to recognize when I’m overworking for the wrong reasons.

Another way imposter syndrome shows up is feeling behind, even when you’re objectively ahead. I have to remind myself of this all the time. I own a house. I’ve built a business. I’ve done things I once dreamed about. But if I don’t stop and actually acknowledge that, my brain will still try to tell me I’m behind.

And then there’s comparison. Assuming everyone else is more legit than you. Seeing someone else’s numbers or followers or success and immediately putting them on a pedestal.

But here’s the truth. Not everything you see online is real. I had a moment years ago in therapy where I was upset because it felt like everyone around me was traveling and living this amazing life while I was working nonstop just to get by. And my therapist looked at me and said, “You do realize a lot of those people are putting it on credit cards, right?”

That was a huge moment for me. Because it reminded me that what you see is not always the full picture.

Now, I also want to talk about why imposter syndrome happens, because understanding that helps you move through it faster.

A lot of it comes from conditioning. Especially as women, we’re taught to be humble, agreeable, and helpful. Then we go into business, where we have to be bold, visible, and confident. Of course that’s going to feel uncomfortable.

Another big one is that visibility equals vulnerability. When you put yourself out there, you’re opening yourself up to opinions, criticism, and judgment. And that can feel really high stakes, especially if you’ve been through hard things or you’re rebuilding.

There’s also the lack of representation. If you don’t see people like you at the top, your brain starts to question whether you belong there.

And then there’s what I call the prove-it loop. Women often feel like we need to be overqualified before we’re allowed to be confident. Meanwhile, there are people out there who learned something for five minutes and are already selling it.

That contrast is wild, but it’s real.

Now here’s where it gets even more important. Imposter syndrome doesn’t just live in your thoughts. It shows up in your body.

Sometimes it feels like anxiety. Tight chest, racing thoughts, overthinking everything, trouble sleeping before something big.

Sometimes it feels like shutdown. Low motivation, procrastination, pulling back from visibility, ghosting opportunities.

And then there’s the in-between, which I think is the most common in business. You’re working all day, but nothing is actually moving forward. You’re tweaking, editing, reworking, learning… but not actually shipping anything.

That is not laziness. That is fear showing up as “busy.”

And I want you to really hear that.

So what do you do about it?

First, you have to recognize it. That’s the biggest piece. Because once you can say, “Oh, this is imposter syndrome,” it loses a lot of its power.

Then there are a few practical things that help.

Protect your environment. Block words on social media that trigger you. Clean up your feed. Unfollow, mute, tell the algorithm what you want to see. Social media should not be making you feel worse about yourself.

Stop following people who make you feel behind. Stay in your own lane. You do not need to constantly consume what everyone else is doing.

Take care of your body. Sleep, food, movement. It matters more than you think. When I’m not taking care of myself, I am way more in my head.

And give yourself support if you need it. Therapy, medication, whatever that looks like for you. There is no shame in that.

But most importantly, I want to leave you with this.

Imposter syndrome doesn’t go away.

You just get faster at recognizing it and moving through it.

And most of the time, feeling like an imposter just means you’re in a room that’s new. It’s not a sign that you don’t belong. It’s a sign that you’re expanding.

So instead of spiraling, what if you just said, “Oh… I’m growing.”

Feel how different that is.

If this episode helped you, I would love it if you shared it with a friend or left a review, especially on Apple Podcasts.

But more than anything, I just want to say I’m proud of you.

Even listening to something like this can be uncomfortable. But that’s how you grow.

I love you, I hope you have an amazing day, and I’ll see you next week.

Bye.