The Healing Power of Love and Service: A Journey with Kim Sorelle

Are you curious to discover the path to resilience, love, and service, even in the midst of life's most pressing challenges? Join us as we journey with Kim Sorelle, a remarkable humanitarian director, engaging speaker, network TV show host, podcast host, and two-time author. Not only is she an accomplished professional, but also a mother and grandmother to an impressive group of twenty individuals. Hear her heartwarming story and witness how her grand capacity to love has transformed her life and those around her.

Have you ever wondered how to navigate through business challenges during unprecedented times like the COVID-19 pandemic? Kim shares her inspirational journey of entrepreneurship, revealing how she adapted her business operations amid the pandemic. Listen and learn as she divulges valuable insights on accepting things we can't control, choosing happiness, and making the best of difficult scenarios. Kim's incredible resilience shines through, and her story is a testament to the power of a positive outlook.

But that's not all. Kim's journey also takes us into the realm of compassion and service. Discover how she found solace and healing through serving those in need, and how she used her grief to drive her passion for making a difference. Kim’s deeply personal and heartfelt narrative demonstrates how love, resilience, service, and even laughter can bring healing. Join us for this deeply insightful conversation and learn how to honor those we lose while still finding joy and fulfillment in life. This episode is more than just a listen, it's a life lesson that you won't want to miss!

Check out Kim below:

WEBSITE
https://www.kimsorrelle.com
SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
https://tiny.one/kimsfacebookpage
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kim-langlois-sorrelle-11079523/
https://www.instagram.com/kimsorrelle/?hl=en
https://www.facebook.com/ksorrelle
https://tiny.one/kimsorrelleyoutube
TV Show link on Youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=bold+brave+tv+heart+%26+soul
AMAZON BOOK LINKS
https://tiny.one/loveisonamazon
https://tinyurl.com/cryuntilyoulaughonamazon

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello and welcome to the Bamboo Lab podcast with your host, peak Performance Coach, brian Bosley. Are you stuck on the hamster wheel of life, spinning and spinning but not really moving forward? Are you ready to jump off and soar? Are you finally ready to sculpt your life? If so, you've landed in the right place. This podcast is created and broadcast just for you, all of you strivers, thrivers and survivors out there. If you'd like to learn more about Brian and the Bamboo Lab, feel free to reach out to explore your true peak level at wwwBambooLab3.com.

Speaker 2: 0:43

Alright, everyone, welcome to this week's show. Thank you for joining us today. Today we have an amazing guest on, and I want to send a special thank you to our mutual friend. The guest in mind, gina Van Timmeren, introduced Kim and myself a couple of weeks ago and, despite Kim's busy schedule, she said yeah, I'd love to come on your show. So, folks, today we have Kim Sarelon, and Kim is the director of a humanitarian organization.

Speaker 2: 1:07

She's a popular speaker, she's the host of a network TV show, a podcast host and the author of two books. Now we're going to include the links to all of her accomplishments on the bottom of today's show notes. If you'd like to see everyone, please click on those links. Explore Kim. Her first book, cry Until you Laugh, is about her breast cancer experience, as well as her husband's battle with pancreatic cancer and folks. They were both diagnosed four months apart. Her second book, love Is, which actually has a 4.9 star rating on Amazon, so check it out. That chronicles her long her year long quest to figure out the true meaning of love A sometimes funny, sometimes scary and always enlightening journey that led to life changing discoveries found mainly on the streets of Haiti. Kim Sarell, my friend, welcome to the Bamboo Lab podcast.

Speaker 3: 1:55

Brian, it is a pleasure to be here. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2: 1:59

It's a pleasure, man. I'm so happy that Gina not connected the two of us and, as I said before we started today, kim, I haven't had a chance to really get to know you, so I'm going to get to know you, along with all the Bamboo Pack audience. So let's just start off. Can you please tell us a little bit about yourself, where you're from, your family, where you've inspired you growing up, whatever you want to share.

Speaker 3: 2:20

Sure, yeah. Well, I grew up on a suburb of Grand Rapids, michigan, called Comstant Park, and I loved it. I grew up in a neighborhood that had a lot of kids my age. We had to be home when the street lights were on, but we were outside all the time and I just had a great time. And I had a great high school experience. I have two older brothers and when I was in high school, I knew what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I had laid out before me I was going to be the first woman president, and yeah, and so I knew where I was going to go to school and what I needed to do. And then, may of my senior year in high school, this tall, dark, handsome man walked into the room and I was immediately smitten, and two weeks later I asked him to marry me and he said yes, and we got married a little less than a year after that.

Speaker 2: 3:17

What Wait? So go back to that. In high school. You fell in love and you knew right away.

Speaker 3: 3:24

I did. Yeah, I dated a lot in high school and there was just a total different feeling with this man and he was a few years older. He was four years older and, yeah, there was just a connection. I mean, I think some people have that. Yeah, did you have that? Have you ever had that?

Speaker 2: 3:46

Oh yeah, oh yeah, for sure, yeah. But you know what, though difference, kim? You're a survived, that's so true.

Speaker 3: 3:56

And it's kind of like against all odds, right To get married at 18 years old. I mean, you're setting yourself up for failure, or a lot of people would think that, but I feel like we kind of grew up together. He was 22. I was 18. We had our first baby when I was 20, and so I was a young mom and a young grandma, and so I was young when they all flew the coop, which that's not so bad either.

Speaker 2: 4:21

Okay, so tell me grandkids, you've got grandkids.

Speaker 3: 4:24

I do.

Speaker 2: 4:25

How many I've got 11. What.

Speaker 3: 4:28

Yes, yeah, yeah Everyone is a joy Every single one. They're amazing.

Speaker 2: 4:34

Okay, now I have to ask you this question, kim. This is a selfish question. So I have one grandchild. His name is Jack and he's two years old. This little guy has my entire heart in his hands, 100%, and I laugh about this and I, but it's. There's some truth to this. How do I love my next grandchild as much as I love him? I don't know that I can love anymore than this.

Speaker 3: 4:56

Well, you know, as a mom, I don't know if it's different for a dad and a grandpa versus grandma, but before I had my first baby, when I was expecting her, people would say, oh, just wait, just wait. You won't believe how it feels. And I thought I already love the baby. You know what are you talking about. And then, when my daughter was born and I held her in my arms, I looked at her and I thought did my mom love me like this? Like the feeling was just so overwhelming. And then, when I was going to be a grandma for the first time, people would say, oh, just wait, just wait. And I'm the, I'm a mom, I know how to love babies. You know, I'm excited. I think I already know. Well, when that baby was born, it was like having a baby times 10. The feeling I don't know why, but so it was even greater than giving birth. It was so amazing. And but it's been like that with every single birth of every single grandchild. So you will, you will love that baby.

Speaker 2: 6:02

You know, I thank you for saying that, and that's what people have told me. And I remember when, when my obviously I have two children, so I was a 19 year old father Um, I was young as well and then my second child was born when I was 36. So 35, they're 16 years apart. And when I was talking, thinking about a lot of my friends said you're going to be an amazing grandpa, you kid, you know my friends who were already grandparents. I'm like, yeah, you know cool, I'm looking forward to it. But there's no way I can love my children or my grandchild and as much as I love my children, I just can't. I can't experience or fathom that a new level of love. And when he was born it was like instantly the day he was born, my grandson, he grabbed my finger and and NICU and he held onto it and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is crazy. I love this little guy Like I've never experienced. It's so different and it's it's. It's great. I can't imagine 11 grandchildren. That's so awesome.

Speaker 2: 6:53

It is, it is I love it and I have a bonus grandchild, a little bonus granddaughter too, um yeah, and my one of my step sons, my oldest, I called them my bonus sons. He and his wife just had a baby, oh, three months ago, three months ago, two and a half months ago, and she I I'm still having even had a chance to meet her. So I'm hoping to meet her in the next few days here for the first time and I just I've seen pictures of her and I instantly already feel. When I pray at night, I pray for both of them. You know, I call, I said I'm going to be BG bonus grandpa.

Speaker 3: 7:27

I love that. You know, I am that to Gina's little girl, ricker, really, yeah. Yeah, I don't see her nearly as much as I should cause Gina is so darn busy. But yes, I, I'm Rivers Uma. My grandkids call me Uma, like Uma Thurman. Yeah, not to be confused with German Alma, it is Uma, so anyway, so, yeah, so I'm, I'm her Uma.

Speaker 2: 7:51

Oh, that's so cute. I have not met her, but I've seen pictures on Facebook. She is a cutest little girl.

Speaker 3: 7:55

She is not just cute, she's smart, she's funny, she's nice, she's kind. I mean, she is everything. She is everything. She's such a great little girl.

Speaker 2: 8:05

Well, gina, I think Gina, Gina and her husband are great people, so I have not had a chance to meet him, but I think the world of Gina. So I know she's done well with her husband and her daughter, so that's good stuff.

Speaker 2: 8:16

So I'm you know I don't know if you know this, but I'm actually. I just moved away from Grand Rapids two years ago. I lived in East Grand Rapids for 20 years, I think, and when my son graduated high school, I moved to the UPS. So I know Comstock Park. I lived in Grand Rapids the area for 22 years, and maybe it was only 18 in East Grand Rapids, something like that. But so I I just moved out of the Grand Rapids area well, june of 2021, moved to the UPS, but now I spend about half my time in Lansing area in the land. That's where I am today, actually.

Speaker 3: 8:46

Well, so today you have on your Lansing accents rather than your UPS.

Speaker 2: 8:51

Well, you know, the thing is that I do find myself when I'm coming, when I come back down state people do say, hey, you have more of an accent than you did when you left two years ago. You know cause? You know I'm, and I'm not really up there. When I'm up there, quite frankly, I'm with my kids, because my, my daughter and her husband, who are the father or the parents of my little grandson, they moved from Traverse City to Grand Rapids or to Marquette two, four years ago, or five, four or five years ago. And then my, my son, this who I had when I was 35, he went to, decided to go from East Grand Rapids to Northern Michigan University and Marquette. So I just kind of followed them up there, oh nice. So when I'm up there I'm really either by myself or I'm with them, so I don't really get a chance to pick up on much of a of a. You get my UP accent back, even though I'm from the upper peninsula, but I moved away when I was 18.

Speaker 3: 9:35

So yeah, yeah, well, it'll come back. It'll come back.

Speaker 2: 9:40

You know. Thinking though, kim you talked about, have you ever, have I ever, felt that instant love and that kind of you know thing? I think that if I had read the book Love is when I was younger, maybe I'd still be in, I'd be still be married.

Speaker 3: 9:52

It's certainly possible.

Speaker 2: 9:53

There's a possibility there, All right. So when you were growing up and you wanted to be the first woman president of the United States, what inspired you now, Like what inspired you as a child? You have this personnel, you've done these amazing things. You're doing these amazing, amazing things. What inspired you to become the person you are?

Speaker 3: 10:13

Oh my gosh, so much, right. I mean I'm 62 years old and so every day leads to today, so there's been so many things that have inspired along the way. I always think you know there's books out there, brian, for having a baby, you know, and raising an infant and a toddler and whatever a middle school age child and a high school kid. There's books while you're growing up, while your kids are growing up. There's books that you can go to for reference, and I always think there should be a book for your 20s and there should be one for your 30s and your 40s and your 50s, because you just evolve Like the way I was in my twenties. I kind of think of that as like I don't know, 15, 16, kim's ago, like it was. It was wild, it was bad there, and I remember, I remember it well, and it was a great time. I was busy with all those babies, but it was way different than my 30s, way different than my 40s, and so there were so many inspirations.

Speaker 3: 11:20

My dad, my mom, my dad was an entrepreneur, and so I started my first business with my mom and dad and two brothers when I was 18 years old and always was in business. I just sold my last couple of businesses. I broke off from the family. We just kind of all separated when our way is not out of anything bad. Just you know, I would have all these business, just the way businesses worked out, and so I just sold them, not quite two years about. So I'm living this whole different life now than I was then. So there's been a lot, a lot of inspirations.

Speaker 2: 12:04

Oh, wow, that's great. It's so amazing where so many people I speak with. I came from parents who are entrepreneurs. Oh, my goodness, sorry, my coffee went down the wrong pipe. Oh, I need a coffee. This afternoon I had a phone call, kim, at 313 in the morning. You know, as a parent and as a grandparent, you know you don't like calls at 313 in the morning.

Speaker 3: 12:27

Yeah, no kidding.

Speaker 2: 12:28

And I jumped up and I couldn't see my phone. So I grabbed my glasses and I put them on. I was in a panic and it was like a number I didn't recognize it was out of Toledo, ohio. I'm like what? So I didn't answer it. I checked on the phone. My kids were home. I can check and see where my kids are. They were both home and it wasn't them. No idea who it was. They didn't leave a message. It was I don't know if it was a telemarketer calling at the wrong time, but you know how that happens and you can't go back to sleep.

Speaker 3: 12:53

Yes it's exactly what it was yeah, I've been so frustrating.

Speaker 2: 12:55

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 12:56

Especially like that, because your adrenaline's running. Oh To your body. Right, it's just racing. Yeah, 100%. Very hard to fall back to sleep.

Speaker 2: 13:04

And I laid there waiting for a voicemail, thinking maybe it's some friend of mine but I'm not gonna answer. I didn't want to answer, but it was a friend. Nothing happened by then. I was so adrenaline. I laid there and I didn't even think my alarm goes up at 5.30 in the morning and I didn't. I must have just fallen asleep. It felt like I just fell asleep and my alarm went off. So, and I have a fundraising event to go tonight at Spartan Stadium, so I have to. I'm trying to. I got a caffeine up a little bit.

Speaker 3: 13:28

Yeah, you do. You do I also enjoy that coffee?

Speaker 2: 13:31

Yeah, I am.

Speaker 3: 13:32

From now on, it'll go down the right pipe, yeah yeah, I wasn't drinking so fast, I just wanted.

Speaker 2: 13:36

I was trying to listen to you when I was drinking. So over the last couple of years, you know our world has gone through a lot of changes In the last couple of years over that one, two, three year timeframe. Whatever you want to choose, what would you say? Kim has been a great learning for you that you can share with us.

Speaker 3: 13:53

Great learning.

Speaker 2: 13:54

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 13:56

Well, my business has made it through COVID and I was in the food industry and I had event facilities and so I had to tell weddings that they couldn't do their wedding and I had to constantly be changing. Our governor was kind of constantly changing the rules on us and we could have 12 people, we could have eight people, then we could have 50, but then they had to be outside and we could do 100 outside and then we could do 100 inside and just things just kept changing all the time and we had to change with it. And I think one thing is that people are better than you think they are. Like it is no fun If you're a bride and you've been planning your wedding for a year or more and then all of a sudden, here comes COVID and instead of your big wedding you're gonna have eight people outside. Like what a difference, not what you're expecting.

Speaker 3: 14:59

But we were able to do things where people could watch the wedding. We had cameras and we had the equipment. We just adapted every way that we could. We bought tents, we did everything we could to adapt and I think that was the biggest learning is that you can either adapt and run with it or you can stay inside and keep a mask on. I mean, you have choices you can choose. And it was a lot of work, it was not easy, it was a lot of painful days, but there's such a satisfaction in knowing that we made it and we helped other businesses along the way too, like we were able to help a lot of other people, and I just think people are good people. People are more understanding and kinder, I think, than we sometimes think.

Speaker 2: 15:57

I love that and that's a really good. That might be a really good title for today. People are better than we think they are and we are much more adaptive and adaptable. We think I mean really the COVID, the quarantining, all that really made people. It pushed all of us out of our comfort zones and we had to think completely differently about how we run our business, how we run our families, how we run our personal or social lives. And it really you know what I saw Kim is and I talked to my son the day when we were living in East Grand Rapids and we got to notice that schools were closed, gyms were closed, restaurants were closed and I remember putting a and my audience has heard me say this so many times I put a whiteboard at the bottom of our stairs and I called them down and I big standing whiteboard and I put a C and I and an A on it and I said, okay, we're gonna go through some things.

Speaker 2: 16:44

Here's the deal gyms are closed. And I said, so we're gonna write down all the things we have to accept, which is the bottom that A stands for accept. We had to accept no school, no gym couldn't go. He couldn't go to the boxing gym. He couldn't go, you know, with his friends and we couldn't go to our favorite pizza place. Blah, blah, blah. And we put, okay, now let's talk about what we can influence. Well, all we can do is influence the outcome of certain events and certain people's behavior, so that's easy.

Speaker 2: 17:05

Then I said now let's talk about what we can control, all the things we can control during this time whether it's two weeks or two years, we don't know we're gonna be kind of quarantined and we could control how much we read, how we worked out at home, the things that you know, playing games. We could work on all these things we could control that were good for us. And I said we are not gonna discuss the things we have to accept. There's no reason to have a discussion. We have to accept them. They are there. All we're gonna focus on are the things we can control.

Speaker 2: 17:32

And then I talked to my clients too. I said let's work on the control things and what I found. And I told my clients, I told myself and I told my family nobody will come out of this the same person. You will either be a weaker or a stronger person, and it's all dependent upon what you do during this time and I have seen so many people come out of that situation stronger as a human, as a parent, as a spouse, as a friend, as a business owner, as whatever your role is. But I've also seen some people come out much, much weaker and it sounds like what you guys did was you kind of focused on what you could control during that time in your business and for your customers and clients.

Speaker 3: 18:12

Yeah, absolutely. And what a great story. You are a good dad, what a smart thing to do. And it makes me wonder about you and your absolute brilliance, because that I've never heard done and that was such a cool thing to do with your son.

Speaker 3: 18:28

But I think choice is another big thing. There are so many things that we don't have control over. Like you don't control cancer if you're going to get it or not. You don't control other illnesses. There are things in life that we don't have any control over.

Speaker 3: 18:46

We don't control the economy entirely, things like that but the things that we do have control over take control, and one of the things that we have control over is joy. How happy do you want to be If you get up every morning and you choose joy instead of looking at the negative side of things? Look at the bright side of things and choose your happiness? When we let other people have so much influence on us that they influence our mood or they influence our responses in a negative way, we're giving away our power. We're giving it away Like we get to pick. We get to pick how we respond to things. We get to pick the amount of joy we have. We get to pick who we hang with. We get to pick who we want to be with, who makes us better, the great people. We get to make so many choices and I think it's so important, like you said, that you did during COVID take control of those choices and make good ones.

Speaker 2: 19:54

I love. We choose our happiness. You're just giving me titles for the podcast episode. That's all you're doing right now. I loved what you just said so much that I just benchmarked 18 minutes into the podcast so I can actually pull that out later on and play that again and put a little sound bite out there. That was beautiful and that is really true.

Speaker 2: 20:13

And I think, if you even break it down to and I don't ever talk politics on this show, but I won't but people who complain about our presidencies and things like that, it's like you have influence over that. But it's just one vote, that's all you have. And so many people spend so much time on social media complaining or throwing these diatribes out there, and I used to be one of those people until eight, nine years ago and I realized wait a minute, why am I doing this? Well, I'm doing this, I'm focusing on something that I have to accept, because by now the results of the election are in, I had one vote influenced and that's all I had.

Speaker 2: 20:50

I'm not really influencing people by throwing this negative diatribe out there about a certain president or a candidate. And when I started walking away from that and saying, focus on what you can control and I didn't say it this way, but it is. I was trying to choose happiness over trying to control or influence other people's views on politics, and so many people haven't gotten that. And when I look at those people Kim, friends of mine or family they are usually the most unhappy ones that I know, the ones that are least happy in life. And it's just so simple. It's so simple.

Speaker 3: 21:22

Absolutely. I have known so many people who used to watch Fox News or CNN or whatever kind of all day long, who quit it, who cut it off and it changed their life. It made them so much happier. We don't have control. Like you said, we don't have control. Bye Putting down people, even our president, even when there's things that you don't agree with, it's not really helping you. You know when you're attacking somebody else, when you're questioning them, you have no control over anybody. Right Like you have a baby and you have total control. You decide when the baby eats, when the baby sleeps, when the baby takes a nap, and then six, seven, eight months later your pots and pans are all over the kitchen floor, the Tupperware is everywhere. You realize you've lost control and I promise you never get it back again. You only control yourself. We don't control anybody else, we only control ourselves, and so just complaining, blaming, blaming and complaining get you absolutely nowhere.

Speaker 2: 22:37

Wow, I think that's. I wrote another 21 minutes in the podcast. You have another great throwing on, another great words of wisdom here. I agree with that a lot. You know this.

Speaker 2: 22:47

My daughter will love to hear that one, because she's at that stage with a two-year-old which obviously your children have gone through several times, where everything's the house is always a mess. You know you're constantly changing diapers and feeding a kid and you know you're getting well. When he was little he'd bite every once in a while and he'd be like you know what I told my daughter. I said when you have a kid and now we're talking about raising children the first day he was born she started worrying. I said you'll never stop worrying. I said really, parenting is all about worrying all the time.

Speaker 2: 23:20

He said when they're 18, 20, 35, 40, it doesn't matter. I'm 56. My mother's 88. My mother still worries about me and the rest of her other four children and her grandchildren. It never stops, I said. But you have to accept that. You have to find the joy in every single moment. The messy house, whatever messy house we'll call it messy bedrooms, books everywhere, toys everywhere you just have to live in that moment. It's a tornado and you have to ride it through and enjoy the ride.

Speaker 3: 23:51

You really do. One of the things that I learned about love would have been so helpful to me as a young mom, a mom with young kids, and it was love is patient. I used this 2000 year old poem you know, you hear it a lot of weddings love is patient, love is kind, does not envy, does not boast, et cetera. A love chapter. And so, first month out of the gate, I worked on one a month and the first month out of the gate was love is patient. And I thought shoot, I know what patience is. You know what patience is. You're not honking your horn If you're stuck in traffic, you're not angry because your two year old can't find a shoes, you know, or whatever it happens to be. But love that is patient is entirely different than that, and I just believe you're supposed to love everybody. It's the happiest, best way to live. Just love everybody. Just accept people for who they are and love them. Let people be who they're created to be and just love them. That's your only job and that judge and jury. We're here to love each other. So if you love whoever it is you're with, you recognize that this is the most important moment of your life. What's in the past is in the past. What's in the future is yet to come. This moment, right here, right now, is the most important moment of your life. So this is the moment that you get your full, undivided attention, your complete attention to this particular moment. And I'll tell you, Brian, I stunk at this Like I would be talking to somebody thinking about a meeting I had later who had to get the soccer practice, what I was going to make for dinner that night, you know whatever it happens to be, and I had to practice and practice and practice, really being present, fully engaged in the moment. But when I got it, it changed my life. It changed my life because I noticed I started doing less talking and a lot more listening, and I was hearing what was really being said, not what I was assuming they were saying based on what I knew about them or some label I put on them, because love doesn't label people and it changed everything.

Speaker 3: 26:02

So, as a mom, I looked back and one of my sons, lou, now works for NASA, by the way, so he's come a long way, but he used to poke my arm and poke my arm, mom, mom, mom, mom, if I was on the phone, if I was busy, you know whatever, you couldn't stop and talk to him. And it was just mom, mom, mom. I think I had a, I think probably still have a hole in my arm. And I now look back and I think you know, as I'm making dinner at the stove, you know whatever I was doing. If I would have just stopped for a minute and looked at Luke and gave him my whole self, gave him every bit of attention, he probably would have said look, it's a red truck. And then run away. And so I wish that I would have loved that way with my kids, where I would have recognized the longer it can wait, the food, whatever, turn off the stove, everything else can wait.

Speaker 3: 27:00

As a grandma, I get on the floor and play with kids. You probably do too. As a mom, it's hard to find the time to do that because there's the endless pile of laundry, there's the endless cleaning, there's the endless diapers, endless everything. But take the time. Let the house go. Who cares? Let some things go and spend time with the kids.

Speaker 2: 27:23

Oh, I love that. A couple of young parents are going to really love to hear that. I think there's such a societal standard that we have to keep up, because you go to someone's home, they have three or four little children, but their house is immaculate. Well, they probably just cleaned it before you got there, and so young parents kind of live in this. Well, I have to raise the kids, I have to work, I have to keep a clean house, I have to make sure everything is perfect all the time. They put so much, and I think every parent's done that. That might be a human nature and I don't think it's just to today's standards, but I think it has happened for millennia, where parents are just, they think everything has to be perfect, maybe at least for the first child. I don't know. Maybe it continues. But as we judge ourselves based on other criteria whether we see it now on social media or on television shows or movies or just going over to Friends House and their house always looks great, they always have these perfect meals and like, yeah, but you're also a guest there, so things are going to look a little differently when you're a guest in their house, you know.

Speaker 2: 28:20

So I remember last year, kim, on 22 January or December of 21, I put together 12 things I wanted to change about myself in 22 or 12 wins. I called them and one of them is to was to be more present with my son, dawson, who at the time was a sophomore at at Northern Michigan University and and I shared this with my daughter, so it's her, his older sister and you know. So maybe three weeks later we were all together at her house in Marquette and Dawson was at the couch talking to me. I was in one of the chairs and he's talking and I'm on my phone. And my daughter said hey, dad, didn't you tell me that one of the things you wanted to do is be more present and engaged with Dawson? He's talking to you and you're on your phone. And she called me right out on it and it was like perfect timing. It was like, yep, you're right, and it's because it became so habitual. Your phone is sitting there. It's kind of calling your attention. You get a text from a client, so you're answering it, and it really hit me home like, yeah, be in this moment right now. You know, because this I love what you said this moment is the most important moment.

Speaker 2: 29:25

So tell me, I want to know a little bit about where. Well, first of all, I'm going to ask you this question because this might lead up to that Okay, and this is that question, that that is always, maybe sometimes for some of the most difficult question to ask. I think you're more of an open book, more transparent than most, so I'm going to ask you in the course of your life, what is one of the most difficult things you've gone through? And then what did you do to overcome that, to scale that wall that you were facing?

Speaker 3: 29:51

Well, I would say I've been through a few difficult things. Everybody has their bumps, Everybody gets their bruises right. It always seems like some people escape by, but I don't think it's true. I think everybody goes through stuff. And so I was diagnosed with breast cancer, as you mentioned in my bio, and then four months later, my husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and pancreatic cancer is a horrible diagnosis and he passed away six weeks later six weeks and so I was still going through my cancer and dealing with the death of my love. I mean, we were going to be in our nineties rocking on the front porch sipping lemonade and looking at each other or whatever Ninety-year-old people do on the front porch, and so this was so unexpected. I was 47 and he was 51. And it's way too young, way too young to go. We had little grand babies then.

Speaker 3: 30:52

Now I've got some graduating from high school, and so it was a tough time and as a mom, I felt like I needed to be strong for my kids. I didn't really know how to deal with the grief. I kind of in some ways put it on the shelf to figure it out later. But the way I really the thing that really did it for me in getting out of the depths of grief and getting on top of it. I don't think you ever get over it. Like you know, people say why don't you get over it? Well, you don't get over it. You know, I'll always love my husband. He will always be a part of my life, Always. I've got kids with him, for goodness sake, I mean, and I love that man. He was a great guy. We were married for almost 29 years, and so you don't get over it. But what you do is get on top of it, because you can be buried underneath grief. It can bury you, it can keep you down, it can keep you in bed, and the thing is to get on top of the grief. And so the thing that got me on top of the grief was when I was physically able to go back to work. It was the end of the year my husband died in March, and then the end of that year, 2009, I was able to go back to work and I wasn't sure if I was going to go back into my businesses, but I had people running them, so I didn't necessarily have to do that or my nonprofit If I was going to go back and run that that I stepped down from because of the cancer, and so I didn't know what I was going to do. And I happened to run into the man who was running the nonprofit that my father and I had started 10 years before, and I said, hey, do you need any help with anything? And I said, what about the books? And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, the books. So, January 1st 2010, I started as bookkeeper part time bookkeeper, as I'm going to figure out my life right. Well, 12 days later, there was an earthquake in Haiti that killed 200,000 people. So within two weeks, I was in Haiti, and then, for the next six years, I was in Haiti at least part of every month. And I'll tell you, I've never read this in the book, I've never heard anybody talk about this.

Speaker 3: 33:08

But service is the greatest healer of grief. When you get outside yourself and you're helping other people, your focus is not on you, but on other people your grief heals. It's like if you're not picking at a scab all the time, right, If you're not picking at it, it's going to heal. If you pick at it and pick at it and pick at it, dwell on that sore, it's going to stay there and maybe even faster and get worse, get infected or whatever.

Speaker 3: 33:39

But service, when you get outside and you help and you know you don't have to go to Haiti to do it, you don't have to go to some developing nation. You don't have to go to somewhere that's just had some natural disaster. There are people in your own backyard. There's things you can volunteer to do in your own backyard. If you see somebody a pregnant woman oh my gosh, pregnant women we need help. When we're pregnant and we're juggling babies, we need help. Open the door. I mean that service. Open the door for somebody. Help somebody out with their groceries. Give somebody a minute of your time, Whatever it is. You can be in service wherever you are, If you have the right mindset and if you want to do it, and it is such a healer, Wow.

Speaker 2: 34:30

That was a really very deep, profound response to that question. Wow, well, thank you for that. I mean, you know, I, I, I don't know you are a brave son of a gun and you got a lot man, you. You got some, some some serious courage. And what I like about what you just said, kim, that's that to me that probably summed up so many reasons why I'm assuming people around you find you have so much credibility, credibility and respect, because what that showed me is a woman who went through a very, very challenging thing in life and then turned around within a short period and and and served others who needed it desperately and then found so much beauty in that and found so much healing in that. So you know, there's this idea of rational self interest. You know, sometimes, when we serve others, you know, as long as we do it from our, from our core, you know from a core being of love and desire to help others, we tend to heal ourselves at some, sometimes, if not most of the time, even more than we heal the other person.

Speaker 3: 35:42

Yeah, that's so true. It's like you can't help give.

Speaker 2: 35:45

Yeah, you really can't.

Speaker 3: 35:47

I've tried, I've tried to help give, but you always I always get more out of doing for others than I'm possibly able to do for them it does. There's something magical about it, something wonderfully spiritual about it, where when you give, what you receive is just so much more than you can ever get. You just can't help give.

Speaker 2: 36:12

And I don't know I don't know if I've ever asked this question in the podcast, but I think I can throw you on the spot on this one. If you had to sum up a mantra mantra, whatever the term word is pronounced for life, what would it be? What would you say is the most profound thing a person can do?

Speaker 3: 36:29

Love, love everybody, love, love everybody. You know people will say, why love everybody? Well, of course I do. But those darn Democrats are those ridiculous Republicans, right? Well then you don't love everybody. Or I love everybody, but people that aren't my religion or even are in my religion, but not my same church, you know they're all going to hell, you know whatever. Well then you don't love everybody. And we're mandated, we're commanded, to love everybody. We're made to love everybody and just love everybody.

Speaker 3: 37:04

I think you know you were talking about your daughter and other people that want the house to be perfect, the perfect meal, the perfect everything. And I think a lot of times it's because we're worried about the judgment that will come our way. We're worried that our friends are going to come over and go my gosh, the house was a mess, are you kidding me? And then leave and then talk about it and tell other people we're worried about that judgment. Well, our job is not to judge. It's not our job.

Speaker 3: 37:31

If we could be free, if you've got friends that are so good they can come over when your house is messy because you know you're not going to be judged, or and or if you could give yourself the freedom, take care less. If you're judged, that's on them, that's not on you. If somebody is judging you, it's their issue, it's their problem. You live your life. Don't worry about what other people think. Just love them and I'll tell you if you think about the people that you're attracted to, the people that you want to spend time with, the people that you want to be around. They're people that love people and they're probably also people that aren't so worried about what other people think of them.

Speaker 2: 38:19

Yeah, this may be the most profound episode I've ever shot, and I you know. The reason I say that is because I think that everything you are talking about, if we could, if we could, if we, if this idea of love, everybody, no judgment if that could spread around the world, I really don't think there's any one thing that could solve our world's problems more than that statement. There's really nothing. I mean, that is the heart of everything. You know, one of the things came a long, not a long time ago. I went through years of dating a lot of women and not that kind of you know going around, you know sleeping with women. But I've dated and I've dated very, very amazing women, many of them still really close friends of mine, and but I realized where I messed up and I realized this maybe four or five years ago.

Speaker 2: 39:09

I looked at love as something that I can, as a noun. It was a thing, it was a something to receive or feel, more feel than anything. And then something clicked. I probably heard this somewhere, but I don't remember the source. But I remember one day I wrote it down in my journal as I was journaling and I and I still write this a lot that love is an action before it becomes a noun.

Speaker 2: 39:33

And what I started doing then was showing love, practicing random acts of kindness. I literally track Well, I don't know, but I did for quite a while that I wanted to show a stranger, seven times a week, random acts of kindness, whether it's buying the grocery for the person behind me at a gas station, whether it's opening a door for somebody or just calling the clerk at Walmart by their name and asking them how their day is going, and you know things, just making things, just making conversation till it become habitual. And also with anyone I've dated is bringing a cup of coffee when they're in the shower in the morning. So they come out of the shower and it's sitting there. You know even buying flowers or things like that, just writing a little note around the house.

Speaker 2: 40:17

You know, showing those little acts of kindness and those making love and action, something I do, something I give. What I found out was that I didn't really care if I received it back as much, because the act of giving it was really this, was really more beneficial than the act of receiving. It sounds cliche and it sounds corny and what also? When I did those things, I found myself receiving more love, more actions of love from you know my from family, from friends, from strangers even, and and I just love that statement that love is an action before it becomes a noun, and I or it's a verb before it comes, or love is a verb before it comes in now, and I just think there's a lot of power to that, and I think that's exactly what you're saying Love everybody, show no judge, don't judge.

Speaker 3: 41:04

Yeah, yeah, I love that statement too. You know, one thing that I found out about love is there's some myths around love. There's some things that we believe about love like, like you did, you believed love different than than you know it now and there are some things that we're just misguided when it comes to love, and that's one of them is that we think of love as an emotion. Even you know, you think of it as an emotion. Well, if you watch a scary movie, that night you go to bed and you hear every creek and every little noise. Right, you hear when the furnace goes on, you hear the refrigerator running. You're scared because you just watched this scary movie. Well, that goes away.

Speaker 3: 41:47

You don't live in fear, you don't live in that, but you live in love. Love is who you are. Love isn't something that you are ever without. Love isn't something you hang up in the closet when you get home from work or when you get to work. Love is who you are. How you decide to live it and express it is up to you, but love is all encompassing. It is you. Love is who you are.

Speaker 2: 42:13

Now let me ask you a question. In your book Love Is, which I have not had a chance to read it, do you have a lot of these types of learnings and lessons and words of wisdom in there?

Speaker 3: 42:23

You know, I do, I do. I mean, that's where I learned it was. Living this year I dedicated to figuring out the true meaning of love. I also have some crazy stories in there, for from things that happened to me and Haiti Like I was chased by a motorcycle gang, I slept outside with tarantulas and snakes so I tell the stories of what led me to learn what is love that is kind, what is love that doesn't easily anchor, what do those things mean? And so those are in there too. So there's some fun, funny stuff and hopefully, some profound stuff.

Speaker 2: 43:03

And I have your book now on Audible, but I think I want to order the actual hard copy of it or the paperback copy. One of the two, because the only thing is you have the most amazing voice. Why didn't you narrate your own book?

Speaker 3: 43:16

Oh my gosh, I wanted to. I asked, my book is traditionally published and so it's up to the publisher, all that stuff. And I asked and asked, and asked and they, I just got turned down.

Speaker 2: 43:28

I just wasn't able to do it. Your next book if you do another book, it's got to be narrated by you.

Speaker 3: 43:36

Yeah, I'm going to put that in the contract.

Speaker 2: 43:39

So, folks out there, please click on the link below. Love is a year long experiment and loving out of one Corinthians 13 love. You got to check this out. 94% of the readers ranked at a five star book. I've never seen a 4.9 star rating on Amazon. I check every guest. I check every book I buy on Amazon, which everybody knows. I order a lot of books on Amazon. I have not seen a 4.9 star rating in my life.

Speaker 2: 44:02

So this is I'm going to get both copies audible and in fact, I'll do this like I did for the last guest. Of the first five people who send a heart letter to me, I will get you a free copy from me, for love is. So first five people who send an email text, whatever I get first snail mail card in the mail, whatever. If you reach out and say this is what this episode did to me and share with what you got out of this episode, you're going to get a free copy of. Love is from from the bamboo lab podcast. That was so. So much right there in that short eight, nine minutes of conversation, but I'm going to move on to the next question because I'm really curious now. Oh, by the way, I'm going to ask you a question. Have you read the book or I'm have seen the YouTube video, the last lecture by Randy Posh.

Speaker 3: 44:44

Oh my gosh. I was reading that book when my husband was diagnosed with big cancer Really? Yes, yeah.

Speaker 2: 44:51

Wow, that's, wow, that's not a coincidence?

Speaker 3: 44:55

No, it's not a coincidence. And right yeah, great book, amazing book.

Speaker 2: 45:01

Fantastic book. I was just talking to a client actually this morning and I recommend that book or at least go to the YouTube channel and listen to our watch the video on YouTube. I think it's like 50 minutes long or something, and I want to recommend to all the bamboo pack audience out there go to YouTube. Type in the last lecture by Randy Posh or write. Read his book, the last lecture. You will be changed forever. So now, kim, as you're what'd you say? 62 years old, I did not expect that. I thought you were probably younger than I am. You have lost the love of your life, you know several years back. You have amazing children, 11 grandchildren. You have done, you're doing, so many great things professionally that it's changing the world. What do you consider to be a victory or a win for you? Wow?

Speaker 3: 45:49

Wow, I knew that question was coming and so you think that I would be prepared for it. I think the biggest win is that I realized that we kind of grieve funny Like. I've known people who have lost a child, which how devastating is that right? Oh my gosh, I can't. I really can't imagine it but who lost somebody close to them parents, their husband, their wife and a good friend, whoever and can stay down underneath the grief. You know, we talked about getting on top of the grief a little bit but can stay in the gloom, and part of it is because you feel like if you laugh again, you're saying, well, it doesn't hurt me that bad that you died, but you're not here anymore. Well, I think the opposite is true. I think the more you laugh, I think the better you do in life, the more people you help. The giving life here all. I look at that as the best way to honor my husband, to just give life everything I got.

Speaker 2: 47:05

So does this go back to a quote that I saw in your Facebook that said it's okay if others are uncomfortable with your grief.

Speaker 3: 47:13

Yes, yeah, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2: 47:16

Wow, well, you know, kim just cut the parallel this my mother lost her husband, my father, in 1971, and then proceeded to raise five children, me being the youngest. I was four and a half when he passed away. She has loved three men in her life and she has buried all three men.

Speaker 3: 47:35

Oh my.

Speaker 2: 47:35

God. The latest was so three years after my father passed away. She dated a man named Eric who was an amazing man. They never got married but he was like a stepfather to me. He was an amazing man, 20-some years and he passed away back in the 90s. And then, a few years later, she started dating another gentleman named Chuck and he passed away two years ago. Next week actually, it'll be two years next week and you know, you're right, I've seen her go through these grieving periods, not when I was, I don't remember when my father died, I don't remember her grieving, she was too busy taking care of five kids.

Speaker 2: 48:06

But I watched it when she lost Eric and I really watched it two years ago when she lost Chuck. And it's amazing how, yeah, it still hurts. You know I can still see the pain in my mother's eyes and her behavior. But she still moves on, she still goes forward and she lives at 88 years old, she still works in the summer and volunteers in the winter and still lives life to the fullest capacity, you know, with her children and grandchildren. It's just so and it's amazing because I do think that kind of thought process and that behavior does help you live longer. It gives you an extra spunk in life versus just lying down and you know, not self-pity's, not the right word, but you know, besides just kind of lying down and living under the grief, but like you said, getting on top of that grief can help you. Just give it, revitalizes you.

Speaker 2: 48:53

That'd be a reason.

Speaker 3: 48:55

Yes, absolutely, absolutely. And laugh and laugh, laugh, laugh. Once you can laugh, laugh, Put on something funny and laugh, Let yourself laugh. It's almost like you need to laugh a bit so that you get used to it again. Now you recognize it's really okay to laugh again. I heard a podcast that you did. I was listening to that woman, Robin.

Speaker 2: 49:19

Robin Shear yeah.

Speaker 3: 49:21

Yeah, and so I watched a couple things she did because I loved her. And one of the things she said is, working with Alzheimer patients, she was getting them to laugh and all of a sudden they had more memories than they did before. So laughter is a medicine. There's something to be said for that. So laugh, you know. Whoever it is that you like that you think is funny, put it on and laugh.

Speaker 2: 49:46

And just yeah, that's you know my mom likes. We text three or four times every day and we talk three or four times a week on the phone and you know those emo I don't know if it's called emoji or bitmoji, but you make your own. It looks just like you and you can have different. Well, mine, mine looks just like me. I mean I'm a bald man, I mean there's not a lot of you know of it, just looks just like me and it does. And so every night not every night, but about four nights a week I send her when she says good night, honey. I'm going to bed now, usually around seven, 38 o'clock, I send her usually a bitmoji of me, like of that little character in the bed or sleeping on the moon, or, and she thinks those are so damn funny. So I know I get her to chuckle or laugh or smile most every night before she goes to bed.

Speaker 3: 50:26

She's. Oh, that's so sweet. I love it and I love your mom. What a wonderful woman. Oh, I do. She's an incredible lady.

Speaker 2: 50:33

She is so amazing and it's so cool because when my grandson, jack was born two years ago a little over two years ago now she kind of came, jack is, and she and Jack are extremely close and she my daughter will FaceTime my mom probably three nights a week and they usually she just puts the camera on Jack and follows him around the house and my mom just watches and they communicate and she just laughs and she thinks it's the funniest thing. So you know that idea of Jack, cause Jack's kind of a goofy kid. He's got a big head and he's cute as a button but he's funny acting. He's got a really quirky personality and my mom just laughs at him and she'll text me the next morning. Oh, I FaceTime with Jack last night. My gosh, he's the funniest kid you know. So it just you're right. I think that's perfectly true and I think I need to laugh more often. I really do. I think I need to find better things to laugh at or laugh with, not laugh at.

Speaker 3: 51:22

I don't think you can overlap. I don't think there's too much laughing ever.

Speaker 2: 51:27

Well, what makes me laugh? And I don't. I just started watching TV again after a few years and not even having to, I kept my TV in the I didn't even have it plugged in for years. And now I really find modern family Seinfeld in the office funny show. I've always loved those shows anyway, but and I watched the office with my son all the time when we were he was younger. But I started watching them again and like they just make me laugh. I just find that kind of humor funny.

Speaker 3: 51:49

So oh, so funny. Those are my top three too, I gotta say my grandkids love the office. They love like they'll watch the entire series over and over again. They love it. They quote Dwight, they quote Michael, you know whatever. It's funny, it's so funny. Yeah, they love it.

Speaker 2: 52:11

Well, I'm that nerd that follows both all three of the. Well, I follow the office and modern family on Instagram. So I'm always getting quotes and I'm always getting these offers to buy shirts that have Dwight on them, or, you know, say that's what she said, or you know that all these little quotes. And when Dawson was probably in high school, we started, you know, he and I. So I raised Dawson primarily on my own.

Speaker 2: 52:30

I got full custody when he was just a little over two years old and so when he was in high school we'd watch a lot of TV with just in front of the TV. I would have dinner in front of the TV because we would talk. It was, you know, you try to get a teenager to sit down one on one with his dad at dinner time. You're just, you're just hurrying to get through the dinner so he can go back on his computer or go with his friends. So we just watched the office and then we had talked during the office and we would laugh at the series, but we'd have conversations about school and life at the same time. And so it's funny now, because every time I hear the office sound, what are they called?

Speaker 2: 53:01

The title sequence or the beginning of the show, I get hungry. It's like Pavlov's dogs, because I'm so used to eating during the office. Every time it comes on, I'm like, oh, I'm kind of hungry. They're like, no, I just had dinner, you know, and yeah. So he and I got through a lot of high school years watching that during dinner time.

Speaker 3: 53:18

Yeah, oh, that's funny, I like it.

Speaker 2: 53:20

I'm excited for this next question. So if I had a time machine and I'm gonna shoot over to Comstock Park today, kim and you and I were gonna jump in it. You're gonna go back to maybe your 18, 20 year olds, 20 year old self, and you're gonna sit down on a park bench at Comstock Park and talk to your younger self and you're gonna give advice, words of wisdom, whatever you wanna call it, and I'm gonna just sit back and observe. What would you tell your younger self?

Speaker 3: 53:45

Besides, make sure you buy Google as soon as it comes out. But I, you know, so much of what I'm about to say is probably so cliche, but don't sweat the small stuff. You know, let it happen. Who cares? And realize that your views at 20 are gonna change, but it's okay. It's okay to let your views change. Sometimes we were so solid on something oh, I know, this is true, I know it's true and then something comes out and you're like, oh gosh, here I was standing on it and I find out it's not true. Well, so give some leeway and give people grace, and give yourself grace as you give other people grace.

Speaker 2: 54:30

I love that your whole theme is you can kind of well, you could capture it to love everybody, I mean including yourself. I mean it's interesting to meet a person because I don't know when maybe between the time when your husband passed and today you kind of came up with this. I don't like to use the word theme, but I'm gonna call it a theme of what life is about. And I didn't come up with mine until well, I came up with mine 27 years ago, but I didn't really come up with it. It was just given to me and I had to work through it for years until, like a few years ago, it came to me.

Speaker 2: 55:05

But very few people could say, if I asked them the question I asked you earlier, you know what's the most important thing you could share? And you said love everybody. I mean, very few people have that kind of thing that they can say this is my foundation, this is my core, and everything I do and stand for exudes from that core. That's a really rare gift. And the thing is, when you talk, you talk with conviction and you know I'm sitting here. I usually take a ton of notes during a podcast. Yours very little. I'm sitting back. I'm finding myself sitting back with my mouth open just listening. You know catching flies with my mouth. You know on the mouth breather listening to you talk, because it's so convincing and it's so true. I mean, it's so hard to argue with your core of what you believe in and what you preach and teach, so I love that.

Speaker 3: 55:55

Wow, what a compliment. Thank you.

Speaker 2: 55:57

Oh, man, it's for a person who spent 20, some years or 20, better part of 22 years looking for you. Know what's my core? I can really respect and appreciate someone who has that. Trust me. Okay, so what's next for you?

Speaker 3: 56:11

Well, I do have a couple of books in the works. I do. I'm writing a book on grief, I'm co-authoring a book on grief and I'm writing a couple other things. And speaking I speak. I just started a business, helping other people start their businesses, helping people launch, because so many people have an idea and they go to all these trainings and they want to start a business, but they have no idea what the first step is. And so I'm starting a business with a marketing guru and lots of good stuff and going next summer to Japan with my entire family. So that will be really fun. And I love it when we can all get together, because there's 20 of us when we're all together, and so I love it because it's a rare moment when it happens 20 of you.

Speaker 2: 57:05

That's so amazing. You are well, you're not really a modern family as what they term, but you're like modern family. There's so many of those on the TV show. They all get together. It's like a football team getting together. You've got two baseball teams and a spare two spares.

Speaker 3: 57:21

No kidding, no kidding. Yeah, I did my part to reproduce, I guess.

Speaker 2: 57:27

Well, I'm going to assume, if I were to met your children and your grandchildren, that you probably produced very well, like I'm assuming they're probably. They have their head on their shoulders and they're probably doing some great things to make a better, a good impact on the earth.

Speaker 3: 57:41

You know, as my kids were growing up, I would take them, like if I was going to Peru to help out after an earthquake, or Venezuela after floods or whatever, I would take one of them with me and I think that helps them, help make them the people that they are today. But yes, I agree, they are all incredible human beings. I realized one.

Speaker 2: 58:05

Well, I know they've probably heard of seeing you on TV, they've heard your podcast and everything. But I hope they all listen to this podcast and they have a little extra step in their in their pep, in their step when they hear all the wisdom mom sharing today and grandma, or Uma, uma, uma, that's right, uma, you know it's funny because Jack's Mike's grandson's other grandpa they keep calls on papa. So Ashley said to me dad, you can have first choice of what you want to be called. And so I said, okay, I don't really know. And then when he was born, kim, when Jack was born two years ago, I went and he was in NICU because he was five and a half weeks early and I had to gown up and, you know, scrub and put, go in there, and I put my finger out and he grabbed it and I have a picture. I took a picture right away of him grab my finger and all I said was it's okay, buddy, grandpa B is here. And my daughter looked at me. She goes is it grandpa B? And I said it's gotta be now.

Speaker 2: 58:58

But the little turd calls me papa. He goes around the house saying I need papa, I need papa. So it cause when I go up north from Lansing I spend a lot of time at their house. You know I'll go there for four, three or four days Sometimes. Yeah, three or four days usually, and next Tuesday I'm going back up to the UP and I'm going to go Tuesday night to their house and then I'll be there probably until Friday and Wednesday. I said, hey, I only have one coaching session on Wednesday. Don't send him to daycare. It's going to be papa, it's going to be grandpa, and I call him pal. It's going to be pal, grandpa day, but he still won't call me grandpa. He can't say grandpa yet. So I'm just, I'm working that in there, but Well, you might be papa forever.

Speaker 2: 59:38

I might be papa.

Speaker 3: 59:40

Yeah, I waited until my oldest grandchild or whoever, because some of them were born in a clump. But I waited until somebody called me something, because I didn't hear what they called me. I just wanted them to call me and so I would say say grandma, say grandma. And somehow it turned into Uma, my the oldest one or I guess she's not the oldest, but second to the oldest and she said and she would say Uma, Uma, and it's stuck.

Speaker 2: 1:00:06

So that's a cool name, yeah.

Speaker 3: 1:00:09

I like it.

Speaker 2: 1:00:10

It's interesting Now, my girlfriend, her grandkids call her a gam gam and actually her license plate says number one gam gam. That's her license, so I can always find her car when we come out to the mall or a restaurant somewhere. I'm like, oh, there's your car right there. It's easy to find. I've always just wanted to be old school grandpa B. But I think you're right, it might be Papa, but yet he calls his other grandpa Papa. That was kind of the name he took, and so I don't know how he's going to work, because I would be Papa B and he is Papa Pete. That could be a little confusing, but I'll take what I can get.

Speaker 3: 1:00:46

Well, back in the day it was always just grandpa, so you'd have a few grandpas yeah that's true there are some greats, or just grandma, and everybody was grandma.

Speaker 2: 1:00:54

Yeah, that's that's true. Yeah, I like the new names. I think they're pretty cool.

Speaker 3: 1:00:59

Yeah, they're fun.

Speaker 2: 1:00:59

All right, kim, as we begin to wrap up, I'm going to ask you is there any question that I did not ask, that you wish I had, or is any final parting words of wisdom you'd like to share with the bamboo pack?

Speaker 3: 1:01:11

Well, I'll just share one quick thing, and I talked earlier about the fact that there's myths surrounding love, and one of them is that loves a two way street, and it is not. Love is not a two way street. If you love to get love and return, you're setting yourself up for loneliness and disappointment and heartache because you have this expectation and you don't have control over the person and how much the love they give you and how they give you love, so you're just setting yourself up for failure. You love because that's what love does, without expecting anything in return. Love is wonderful in that. There's something about love that you talked about this earlier, brian that that you love and it does come back. It typically does come back, but it might not come back exactly how you want. So just love and let other people love you the way they love you.

Speaker 2: 1:02:07

Well, god bless you. That is. That was. That was one of the better parting statements I've heard in a long time. Well, kim, I got to tell you, man, I'm man, I call everybody, I call a lot of people man or dude. So bear with me, I have to tell you you are one of the most amazing people I've ever had on this podcast.

Speaker 3: 1:02:27

Oh my gosh. Well, I am humbled that that is so sweet, brian.

Speaker 2: 1:02:31

Well, I was talking to my 130 coaching session today. He's out of Seattle Washington. He goes. I said, hey, I'm gonna have to wrap up a few minutes early. I you know I have everything set up for the podcast. I said I just want to make sure I have everything finalized. He goes what's it about? And I said I don't really know. I said I was just introduced to the to this person a week and a half ago and I've had, you know, I haven't had a chance to read her book yet. I said I've Googled her and I've done some research. I said, but I don't really know. I just know kind of what her, her general thought is and her general genre and that maybe that was the beauty of it. I had no expectations and this was amazing.

Speaker 3: 1:03:07

Well, thank you. I so enjoy talking to you. You you're fabulous and your podcast is incredible. Everybody should have your podcast at the top of their list. You do such a good job and Gina speaks so highly of you, and so I've been a fan of yours even before this, before we met.

Speaker 2: 1:03:26

Well, I really appreciate that and do you mind, kim, if we can, after we wrap up, can I stay on the phone for with you for a few minutes afterward?

Speaker 3: 1:03:32

Sure Great great, okay.

Speaker 2: 1:03:34

So, kim, I want to make that official. I want to. We're going to part now for the podcast, for the record for this episode. I want to thank you for being one of the most profound guests I've ever had on the bamboo lab podcast.

Speaker 3: 1:03:45

Well, thank you for having me.

Speaker 2: 1:03:47

You are more than welcome. It's been an honor. Okay, bamboo pack out there, please, everybody. I know you're going to love this episode. I can tell this is the 103rd episode shot of the bamboo lab podcast. I can tell, based on the vibes throughout this, this conversation I've had with Kim, that this is going to go over extremely well. Please, please, everybody, hit that like button, rate us, review us, subscribe, share us with three people. You know there are three people out there who are going through something, who may be a grieving process. Maybe they're struggling with love. They're just having a difficult time trying to control too many things in their life. This is the episode for them and please click on the links below the show notes and do some looking into Kim and her books and her talks and her show and her podcast. That'll all be included here. I cannot recommend this enough. In the meantime, I hope you all know I love you all and please make sure every day you get out there, you strive and you love and you live until next time.