The Bamboo Lab Podcast

Nudges From The Other Side: Mary Connaughty-Sullivan's Connection with the Afterlife

December 18, 2023 Brian Bosley Season 2 Episode 106
The Bamboo Lab Podcast
Nudges From The Other Side: Mary Connaughty-Sullivan's Connection with the Afterlife
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Are you ready to join us on a profound journey of love, loss, and the connections that traverse the boundaries of life and death? We sit down with our remarkable guest, Mary Connaughty-Sullivan, a woman whose spirit is as tenacious and resilient as they come. Despite battling a rare neurological condition that affects her voice, Mary's steadfast determination and lifelong pursuit of knowledge shine through, from her work in the financial sector to her graduation from the Funeral Director's Program.

Mary opens up about the heart-rending loss of her son, Aaron, her solace in the signs and messages she believes she received from him posthumously, and her path to transforming her journal entries into a poignant book titled "Nudges from the Other Side". The conversation takes an in-depth look at grief, its impact, and the extraordinary strength it takes to carry on.

The episode takes a captivating turn as we explore the enigmatic realms of consciousness, energy, and the afterlife. Mary shares her beliefs in reincarnation and her exploration of quantum physics, and talks about the comfort and connection she feels through inexplicable coincidences and 'nudges' from Aaron. Wrapping up this profoundly touching episode, we encourage you, our valued Bamboo Pack audience, to strive; and to live with love, respect, and intention. Tune in for an episode filled with powerful experiences and valuable insights about handling grief, finding comfort, and navigating life's journey with grace and resilience.

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/book/1144162878

https://www.amazon.com/Nudges-Other-Side-Mary-Connaughty-Sullivan/dp/1637774850

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to the Bamboo Lab podcast with your host, Pete Performance Coach, Brian Bosley. Are you stuck on the hamster wheel of life, spinning and spinning but not really moving forward? Are you ready to jump off and soar? Are you finally ready to sculpt your life? If so, you've landed in the right place. This podcast is created and broadcast just for you, All of you strivers, thrivers and survivors out there. If you'd like to learn more about Brian and the Bamboo Lab, feel free to reach out to explore your true peak level at wwwBambooLab3.com.

Brian:

Welcome everyone to this week's episode of the Bamboo Lab podcast. Thanks for joining us. Folks, today we have an amazing guest on here. We truly do Just a quick journey. We have a mutual friend. The guest today.

Brian:

Mary and I have a mutual friend, jason Grom. Jason, if you want to refer back, he did a podcast episode with us back on May 29th of this year 2023, called Unlocking Our True Selves. I have to be honest with you. Jason reached out and said hey, I think you guys should meet. I think you should read her book, brian. I think she'd be a good guest in the podcast. I'm like, yeah, sure, I'll talk to her.

Brian:

Anyway, mary and I ended up speaking last week and after we spoke for 30 minutes, I still didn't know what we were going to talk about, but I wanted to talk to her. She sounded interesting. So she said Brian, just read my book. She had gracefully sent me a e-book copy and a hardcover copy of the book. I read it last week. For those of you who know I don't read e-books, but I did. I read it because I hadn't gotten the actual copy yet. It blew my mind. It blew my mind. I've been telling people about this book now for the last week. So you know what I'm going to. Let her share that story. But I just want to say today we have an amazing guest, mary Conaty Sullivan, on here and I'll just read a little bit about her.

Brian:

Normally, when you ask Mary a little biographical information, the first thing she'll say was I'm a mom. To say that Erin was her son, erin was and is important to her, is an understatement. Mary really considers him her foremost gift in life and trusts that if providing his and her story to the readers and to the listeners out there, they too will receive a gift. Mary grew up in a small Midwestern town and enjoyed a very active outdoor life during a time when really life was a little simpler and slower. She's a self-described lifelong learner. She was encouraged and unrestricted by her parents to read anything and everything she could get her hands on. Their love for words, language and stories still persist to this day.

Brian:

After college, mary spent 41 years in the financial services industry, where she held roles in sales leadership and as an executive, leading learning and development teams for Fortune 500 firms. She's a BA in psychology and she has recently graduated with the highest honors and is now from the Funeral Director's Program and she has now recently, as of September of this year, has completed all of her state board exams and has become the licensed North Carolina Funeral Director. Mary now lives in a small farm in North Carolina with her husband and their four horses, three dogs and three cats, so they got quite a little micro zoo there. She enjoys reading, gardening, water skiing, sketching, writing and horseback riding. Mary, my new friend, it's with great honor that I welcome you to the Bamboo Lab podcast.

Mary:

Oh, thank you, Brian, I'm really glad to be here.

Brian:

Oh, it's such an honor and I have gotten to know a lot more about you. Quite frankly, I know we spoke last week, but really through the book, and you know that I got the honor to read and I'm going to read it again too. So, but can you share with the audience out there a little bit about yourself, where you're from your childhood, who or what inspired you growing up?

Mary:

All right, yes, I'll be glad to do that, but before I begin I do want to mention to the audience I have a very rare neurological condition that affects my voice, and so any little breathiness or breaks that you hear, this is me and this is the way that I sound. But everyone along the way has always said you know, once we get used to you, we can understand everything you're saying. But I just didn't want any of your listeners to think I was having an asthma attack or an anxiety attack or anything like that.

Brian:

I appreciate you saying that, Mary.

Mary:

Sure, but yeah, a little more about me. I grew up in a real little town named Beaver Dam, wisconsin. I grew up on a lake, and the lake was really important to me growing up. It was a source of entertainment, peace, it was a place where I could go and think and I really do think.

Mary:

From the very beginning I thought about life very deeply, even at a young age. I noticed things. I liked learning, I loved reading, and as I was thinking about the questions, you know what inspired you? I think there were a lot of things that did, and then there were an awful lot of things that did not, and so I was careful to really parse out the things that I thought were well done and the things that I thought were very poorly done. And I committed to learning and growing and following a path that emulated the things that meant the most to me. And you know, I thought you were going to ask me, well, who inspired you the most? And I was kind of afraid to answer the question. But now I'm all committed. But you know, it wasn't.

Mary:

Abraham Lincoln. It wasn't my third grade teacher, in fact I mentioned in my book my third grade teacher was really hell on wheels. She was a nun, she peed us literally. It was, you know, back in the 1960s when they could do that. But oddly enough, at a really young age the original Star Trek went into syndication and every afternoon as a teenager even though I really didn't like TV and I really hardly ever watched I stepped on that old, you know colored TV giant thing that's sitting in our living room and that program would come on for an hour.

Mary:

And it sounds kind of weird now, you know, 50 or 60 years later, to think that that show inspired me. But the character of the captain really captured me in all of his humanity and the type of leader that he was, even though he was a fictional character and I don't even really admire William Shapner as a human. But the character that Gene Roddenberry created was a man that was honest, loyal, unbelievably goal-oriented. He never gave up and he treated every member of his team with the utmost respect. Even though he was tough, he was very fair. If he yelled at somebody he literally within the next second would maybe put his hand on the person's shoulder, and I thought that balance of absolute leadership, fearlessness coupled with love and a servant attitude was really admirable, and so I guess I patterned myself after somebody that really doesn't even exist.

Mary:

But, there you have it, you're a Trekkie. Oh, yes, yeah.

Brian:

You know I do hear that a lot, mary. I hear a lot of people say they were inspired by fictional characters Myself. One of my fictional characters that inspired me was whether a couple Howard Rourke from Ein Rand's book the Fountainhead is one of them is also the character from Jonathan Livingston's Segal Richard Bach's book are characters that both, 27 years ago, inspired me to go off and leave a Fortune 500 company and start my consulting firm. I think that that's oftentimes the case and I think a lot of times for people who grew up in smaller communities or people who read a lot, like you did as a child. You know your mind can. You can connect with fictional characters, whether they're in the written word or on the silver screen or on television. So I do hear that a lot.

Mary:

Yeah, and it's amazing you mentioned both of those books, because Richard Bach's works beginning with Jonathan Livingston's Segal, then going on to Illusions, and Ein Rand's books, both the Fountainhead and the Alfa Stroke, were extremely meaningful to me, you know, again at a rather young and very impressionable age. But you know, I'm 65 now and I guess I've been impressionable all my life. But you know, that's part of being open to learning and growing. So you know, I live what I say.

Brian:

Well, that's fantastic. You know, I forgot about Illusions and I read Illusions, oh my goodness, probably 20 years ago, 25 years ago, and I really liked that book. I forgot all about that book and there was another one. He wrote that I read and I can't think of that. It was more practical about flight and I can't remember what it was.

Mary:

Yeah. I don't remember the name of it either, but I have read it. It's in your right.

Brian:

It was another really epic book it was Now Jonathan Livingston's. Segal is a book that I typically read every January. It's kind of a send off to the new year. It gives me a little more, I don't know, just gives me a little motivation. I typically give it out for gifts. Number one you can find it for like $3 online sometimes because it's such a small book but it has so much wisdom in that and inspiration and thoughtfulness in the short. You can read it in 45 minutes. I mean it's such a great book Mary.

Brian:

I'm going to change the order of the questions today due to our conversation and folks I want to share out there. There's going to be a link at the bottom of today's show notes to Mary's book. It's called Nudges from the Other Side True Stories of Afterlife Communication, and the book is the story. In the book, the journey that Mary has gone through and the life of Erin, her son, is really the epicenter of this entire show today. So I'm going to start off with that. The next question, mary, which is so you can introduce to the audience the crest of all of this, and that is, in your life, what is the most difficult thing you've gone through and what have you done to survive that and thrive through that?

Mary:

Well, yes, thank you, definitely losing my only child when he was only 20 years old. Very unexpectedly, he wasn't ill. Life was great. He was living on his own. We had a really good relationship and that isn't always possible with a young adult or a teenager and their mom or their dad but we were in a good place and it was a Memorial Day weekend in 2010,. So over 13 years ago, and my husband and I not Erin's dad, but my husband, erin stepped ahead and I were going away for the weekend. We were going camping with our horses and we woke up on the morning of Memorial Day and there was a pounding rain falling down and I remember waking before my husband, thinking well, we're not going to get to ride today, but that's all right, given that, dan, my husband was sleeping. I thought you're unusual. Normally it's the other way around, but I thought you know, I'll just go to the barn and I'll get everything tidied up and get us ready to leave.

Mary:

When I got back, my husband was absolutely in a panic, and this was 13 years ago, when some reception was not as good as it is today and it still isn't great, as we all know but it wasn't very good then, and we were in a remote location and he said Mary, something's happened. There are over 20 phone calls on my phone, but I cannot get any voicemail. I'm not seeing anything. So I need to run to higher ground and figure out what's going on and you get the trailer buttoned up and I'll be back. Well, standing up there in the rain, my husband received the news that Aaron had been alone in his car that morning and was bound to head on the side of the road. Nobody knows where he was going, why he left, and when Dan walked back in the trailer, the look on his face told me that there was something very, very, very wrong and he couldn't even speak. And I do not know what made me ask the question. But I said is it Aaron? And he nodded his head yes, and again, I don't know what ever possessed me to ask this, but I just remember whispering is he dead? And he shook his head yes, and this unwanted journey of mine and Dan's and all the people who loved Aaron was unerroll. And it's just. You can only imagine. It knocks you up your feet. I just I didn't feel like I had a center of gravity anymore. But after Aaron's funeral, the most amazing things began to happen where, like improbable things that define logic, they define what we know about the world and the black and white laws of physics and nature. And I just began to realize that and then say I think Aaron is trying to nudge me and let me know that, even though he isn't in our physical presence, that he is still alive somewhere.

Mary:

And, fortunately, someone extremely influential in my life gave me some advice early on and he said you know, mary, just do what you want to do. If you want to work, work. If you don't want to work, don't work, but do what you want to do. And this was the guy that has a senior level executive position at Bank of America, which is where I worked at the time. And here he is telling me don't work if you don't want to work. No one says that in a major company like that, but this was his advice and the day that he said it I remember I was in my office, which really was my sanctuary.

Mary:

I cried up there.

Mary:

You know I was honest with myself, you know I was alone, but I just let it all go.

Mary:

And I glanced at my bookshelf and sitting there was an empty journal that somebody had given me, and I just remember picking it up and I began pouring out all these stories, all my feelings and ultimately, the words of others throughout the years that gave me comfort and many years down the road. I even wrote this in the journal one day. I said someday I need to put this in a book so that maybe others will hear my words, internalize them and also be able to discover that there is life after death and there is hope, not just from a religious perspective but from just the truth about life and our own eternal nature. And so I did. In January of this year I had a break in my life and my mind was clear and I began writing, and I did it in a really linear way. I said finishing the book by the end of June, and I wrapped all the narrative around the journal entries. And then I began looking into, well, what does it take to get published? And ultimately the book launched on October 15th of this year.

Brian:

And I can't say thank you enough for putting your journey of what you went through the pain, the suffering and going through, watching you go through that healing process as a reader For me anyway, and I think so many of the audience out there will feel the same way you feel yourself connected to a moment in your life when you lost someone and you feel I felt I was walking alongside you every single page of that book, especially when you shared your journal entries, because they were so raw, they were so real, they were so authentic that I felt like and it made me connect with, like when I'm losing my father at a young age and thinking of obviously I didn't go through it as consciously as you did because I was much younger, but there was a parallel to that and I think the reader out there, you listening in the audience right now, when you read Mary's book Nudges from the Other Side, you really are going to see that you can relate on so many levels to what she's going through and you can feel that you know the depth of pain that someone experiences. Whether you've lost a child or not, you can experience the pain and you can relate to the pain maybe not that depth, but I felt when I got done reading it, I felt I was a better man and I felt a little bit more healed. And that sounds strange. Really it does, but and it felt strange and I know, every day, mary, I write down five things that I'm grateful for, and I do that every morning right before I journal, and that one of the days last week maybe Friday, it probably was, or maybe Saturday I wrote down I'm thankful for this book and I think the reader out there is going to feel the same way. I just you know. I know I want to go into the book a little more and I know the reader will get this when he or she goes into your story.

Brian:

Can you share with us how do you get through that? And maybe you never do get through that, but how do you continue to get up in the morning, get dressed, bathe and shower, brush your teeth and do the things that we all take for granted every day? Without even a second thought, you're carrying a 5,000 pound weight on your shoulder. How do you? How do you do that? Where does that strength come from?

Mary:

Well, I love that question, but, if it's right, I'm going to do what, like, every political candidate does, because I want to go back for just a minute, because I love the things that you shared and I want to share with your listeners that you know the book indeed, it is a tearjerker because I just, you know, dedicated myself to being honest, and I was honest, of course, when I was writing those journal entries, because in the beginning I never thought anyone else would ever read them. Why would they? But I was honest in my narrative, I was honest in not changing anything in the journal entries. But you aren't going to cry for five hours when you read the book. I literally have people say to me I cried, I smiled, I laughed and in the end I walked away feeling uplifted through the eyes of your journey.

Mary:

And I've also had people tell me that they've decided to make major changes in their life, which is really an honor. You know, I've had people say I'm just going to be more authentic, I'm going to be more honest, I'm not going to hold back, you know. And I've had people say I had given up on a career and I'm not stopping now. So that's just a beautiful gift, you know, in exchange for what I hoped was a gift for the world. Whether you grieve, whether you're curious, it's just really meant to provide that comfort, hope and peace to readers of all ilk Right.

Brian:

Well, and like I said to you, I know I walked away a better person. I felt and I share with you prior to today's airing or recording, that when I, the night I started reading your book I believe it was last Wednesday actually and my son Dawson, who's 21, you know just not much, he just turned 21 last month, so he's not much older than Aaron was and he and I were having just a small squabble by a text and phone call, nothing major. And you know, I said, hey, I got to go, I'm not going to argue with you right now. And then I sat down and I started reading your book. Maybe 45 minutes later, and probably a quarter of the way through the book, I'd read for maybe an hour or so.

Brian:

I just thought, okay, let's learn. What have I learned so far? So I just picked up the phone, I texted him hey, I love you, son, more than anything or more than I could ever say, and he wrote back right through I love you, two pops. And I think it helps us to realize what we truly have in our lives right now, that we sometimes, because of the busyness of life and the small necessities of life we tend to take for granted and it really for me. It helped me realize don't take life for granted, especially your children in this case.

Mary:

Yeah, yeah, I agree with that. And I think you know probably wasn't long after that that you maybe read the journal entry about the text that I got from Aaron, and this was back in the days of flip phones and I still have that old flip phone, I turned it on. Every now and then I glance at that text message. But you know, I just feel like Brian. There's no accidents and there's synchronicities that are happening in all of our lives if we will only slow down enough to take note of what's going on. And I just love that you took action that day and said, hey, I love you.

Mary:

And we always forget the bites unless it's like a World War III, you know, because we have those as well but we forget the vast majority of arguments and bites that we have with people. But what we do remember is the good times, and you know I was blessed to be in a good place with Aaron when he passed. But you know you ask me how do you get up every day? And you use the word carry, and that is a very word that I share with people. I don't think you ever actually get over it, but you do learn how to cure it and every now and then something will take me off my feet, where I'm just brought back to that moment.

Mary:

There's a journal entry in the book way, way late nearly end of the book and the name of it is Judy.

Mary:

And that was an unexpected moment that happened in the earlier part of this year that knocked me off my feet, brought me back to day one, but at the end was very cathartic for me. But most of the time I'm carrying that weight and I know how to keep my shields up using a Star Trek metaphor and not let just the ordinary things you know, everyday things get to me. When I was relating the story to you and the listeners a little while ago, I did feel myself choke up because I'm bringing myself right back to that moment and I shed a lot of tears writing the book. And you know, when you write a book you wind up with your editors and so forth, proofreading it many, many, many times, and I don't think there was ever proofread where I wasn't brought back to those early, dark days. But I carry it and I'm living in the today and I think every day has its own blessings. It often has trial rules, but you know, it's what we make of things, I guess.

Brian:

I think what you said a moment ago is so extremely powerful and it deserves repeating, and that is, you don't really ever get over it, you just learn to carry it. You know, in the physical form, when you carry something over and over, you get physically stronger. And I think when you carry something emotionally or spiritually in this case very emotionally for you, you tend to, if you carry it, you get stronger and I think, but it takes strength to be able to pick it up and carry it at the same time. And I mean I'm so impressed and I respect you so much, mary, for having that courage to carry. I've shared this book with so many people. You know the hey. I'd like you to get this book. You know, if you don't have the money, I'll buy it for you. I want you to have a copy of this book and everybody I've said that to has said I don't know how I could possibly do that.

Brian:

I don't I mean not read the book. I don't know how I could ever move forward in life like Mary did. And I said I when and that's the beauty of the book and I think every parent thinks that and we know we all say that's a common I could never move, go on. When you read the book, you realize the strength of the human character. You realize that spirit, that that we do have inside. It's like the mother who lifts the car over the child. It's that you know. That's the physical strength. We also have a great depth of emotional and spiritual and mental strength that we are completely unaware of until we are tested and either we can either choose not to or we can choose to carry it. And thank goodness you chose to carry it because I think the words you put down here in the show story you tell, and just learning about you know Aaron's life in general, has the impact of to change so many thousands and thousands of other lives as it is doing, in my opinion.

Brian:

So you know have you ever read the poem or the work Gone from Sight by Henry Van Dyke?

Mary:

I do not believe I have.

Brian:

I'd like to read this to you right now, if you don't mind. This is a short short. There's like four or five paragraphs. It's called Gone from Sight. I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until that length. She hangs like a speck of white cloud, just where the sea and the sky come to mingle to each with each other. When somebody at my side says there she is gone, gone where, gone from sight, that is all. She is just as large and massed, whole and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone says there she is gone, there are other eyes watching her coming and other voices ready to take up the glad shout. Here she comes and that is dying.

Mary:

I love that. I absolutely love it. I would have included that in the book had I known about it.

Brian:

I think that when I was reading your book, I thought of that piece of work so many times and I wanted to make sure I was able to read that to you on air today. I will send that to you, Mary, when we are done today.

Mary:

Thank you for sharing that.

Brian:

I will get that to you. I will email that to you.

Mary:

Awesome. It reminds me of a journal entry in the book where we do a traditional Thanksgiving getaway. We ran a mountain cabin in a different location every year and we did this when the kids were very young because we were a blended family and we thought, if we do this a couple weeks before Thanksgiving, we can let our exes have Thanksgiving and we will start a tradition that the kids maybe will really enjoy. Boy did they ever. Because they will not let us go in and they are in their 30s now and we have four grandchildren.

Mary:

But in one entry, when Erin was young, we were at a cabin and he and his stepbrothers and a buddy decided they were going to go down the road, go to the base of a mountain. And we were back at the cabin, a few of us, and just enjoying the day, and my cell phone rang and it was Erin and he said I want you to go to the window. And he said do you see that mountain up against the window? I said I do. And he said we are at the top. I am waving at you furiously, can you see me?

Mary:

And I looked and looked and I said you are too far away, I can't see you. And he kept insisting that I try. And I said it is just too far from my eyes to see you, but I know you are there. And he said do you see the radio tower right at that mountain? I said that I can see it extended way up in the air. And he said I am standing at the base of an uptouching it. And so now you know you are looking at me and I remembered that months and months after he passed and I thought that very same thing that although I can no longer see him, he is still there, and that poem I shared conveys that in such an eloquent way. It is just lovely.

Brian:

I was. There are so many, as you call them, nudges in their story that really made me furrow my brow and think how the hell could that have happened? And one was a particular one was when you left your cell phone with the text message from Erin on the airplane. Can you tell that story please?

Mary:

Yeah, that was amazing. So you know, I had that old flip phone and it had that text message on it, and so you can believe that I looked at that a dozen or more times every single day and I think it was so air and past on Memorial Day, which is in May of 2010. And I think it was in August that I finally got on an airplane and made my first business trip. I was working for that, but I wouldn't leave. I had occasion to go to New York I live in New Charlotte, north Carolina and so I boarded the airplane and you know, my work family had been so very kind to me, but this was, this was bigger. There's just like I don't know this, this stronger heartthrob in New York and intensity about it, and I knew it was going to be difficult to see my, my New York work family, but I went up and everyone was amazingly kind and the guy that told me work if you want to work, don't if you don't want to. We were in a meeting and after the meeting was over, he got up from the long conference table and then the little boys. He said Mary, do you mind coming outside with me? And we stepped out of the room. He said how are you doing? And we shared, you know, our conversation and I admired him doing that this is a man who, you know, probably has one minute of spare time in his day and I told him about the message on the phone and you know just the way that I was sort of walking through life and you know, send me a attached and send me detached, and you know it felt good to really know that he cared. And so, anyway, the trip came to an end and I boarded that airplane and, as often happens in New York LaGuardia, there was a significant delay, but we were already boarded. It was later at night and I thought you know what, I am just going to take a nap. And I remember putting the cell phone in the seat pocket right in front of where I was sitting. And I remember even thinking to myself you don't, you shouldn't do that and you need to put it in your laptop bag. But I didn't listen to my brain and I was really, really tired and I went to sleep.

Mary:

A few hours later we landed and I did my normal routine grabbed my laptop bag, I left the airport, got on the shuttle bus, got in my car and, as I always do, I was getting ready to call my husband and say the eagle has landed. That's literally what I would always say. I'm on my way home and I started runging in my bag and I just had this amazing heart sync, you know where you instantly get a lump in your throat and your heart feels like it's dropped down to the bottom of your gut, because I knew I had left the phone on that airplane and I would imagine at least 30 minutes had gone by. But I thought, well, if I don't try, I'll never get it back. And I'm trying to not cry and get all emotional about it. I knew I needed to hold myself together because this was after 9-11.

Mary:

It wasn't easy to get through the airport, but I parked right up next to the terminal in valet and I greeted with the gate agents let me go out. And, as always, it was the very, very last gate on the kind of course, and so I'm running in my high heels and I get there and I could see that it was still there. But the gate door was closed and I went to the gate agent and I explained I have left my cell phone in the seat pocket. My seat was, whatever the number was. And I said I know you've closed the door, but do you think that you could just ask somebody to look? And she was nice, which sometimes, as we know, is rare in the reactor quite stuff, you know working at the airport. And she said sure, let me radio down here, I'll see if I can get one of the flight attendants to look. And I waited, and I waited and she actually left and didn't radio.

Mary:

She went down, open the door, walked down the gateway and evidently went and spoke with them and a long time later I'm sure that you know this incident delayed their flight she came back and she said I hadn't even told her why I wanted it. And she said I am so sorry. We look, there was a very nice man in your seat and we reached in the seat pocket it wasn't there which had all the others in your row under the seats, you know, in the cushions, the row in front, the row in back. It just isn't there. And I just looked at her eyes and, without me to, I just began crying. And she said oh honey, I know our cell phones mean so much to us nowadays. And I remember reaching out and grabbing her hand and I said no, you don't even understand. And I explained.

Mary:

My friend passed away in May and I had one text message from him and felt to me as if that was some sort of a living link to him and I could have cared less about this cell phone if it weren't for that one very brief and very, very precious message. And that sweet lady began to cry right along with me. And just to think that you know the kindness of strangers and she said oh, please, go down to Lost and Found. If we ever find it we will send it back to you. Just go do that before you leave the airport. And I'm so sorry. And so I did that. I, you know, cried all the way down to Lost and Found, made the report and I felt like I don't know, kind of just like this wounded person.

Mary:

And I walked back up to where my car was parked in the ballet right outside the door to the airport, and I got in and I remember rummaging through my bag, once again looking over on the passenger side, like who did it fall out, which? I knew it didn't. I knew I didn't have that, I knew it was in here, plain, and as I was over there on the passenger side rummaging, it literally fell to me as if someone put their fingers under my chin and lifted it up and made me gaze onto my own feet and sitting there I could see under the lights on that ballet parking area because it was night. I saw my little square flip phone sitting right where I had been sitting. You know, I only weigh like 130 pounds.

Mary:

I promise you, if I was sitting on a square metal object I would have known it and it wasn't on my person. It didn't fall out of a pocket. I don't keep anything in my pockets ever, never have and so I just knew that there was something going on beyond all the things that we are taught about you know, life, physics, nature, science and thank goodness I wrote all those incidents down. Is that what I wouldn't have forgotten? But I would have forgotten a lot of the other ones, or I would have said I think I imagined that one.

Brian:

I mean, I remember reading that part of the book and I almost wanted to put my arms up and start screaming and harrying. And harrying you at that moment, because you talked about going through the airport, you talked about going back to the gate, you talked about them going back to your seat and rummaging through the and you knew that that's where it was. You know, there was no doubt in your mind and as you were walking back and I thought, oh, my goodness, she lost that final physical connection that she had with Aaron and I believe the text that I love you, mom.

Mary:

Yeah, well, I said, I'm doing fine, I'll call you here in a little bit, and that was it. That really was all it was.

Brian:

But I remember thinking, oh my goodness, she lost that final physical connection. And then when you got in the car, I didn't know where the story was going to go. And when you found that, when you said, your head was lifted up by fingers and you saw the phone there, it was like this. I think right now the audience is probably giving this, you know exponential gasp right now like, ah, what a relief. You know, one of the quotes that you have in the book that really resonated with me was and I might misquote this, so please forgive me it was coincidences are God's way of staying anonymous. Remaining anonymous, Something like that. I read. That I could believe a couple of times, and that was a really interesting quote. Can you share with us another nudge that really resonated with you? I know there are so many in this book of connections you had with Aaron and others through the nudges.

Mary:

Yeah, I will. And you know what that quote is, literally by Albert Einstein, and I was going to mention that. You know, maybe people are thinking, yeah, she is one of those woo-woo people that just believes in you know supernatural things or you know whatever. But you know it isn't just me, this was Albert Einstein that said that, and I did spend 41 years in financial services. There's no room for woo-woo in the work world that I was engaged in, and so, again, just glad that I recorded these.

Mary:

But yeah, another one of my favorites actually happened one year to the day after Aaron passed and I was still operating at, you know, maybe 50% capacity. In that I was consumed with grief. I, you know, I was going through all the motions, but I was still very, very, very upset and we had planned that today to have all of Aaron's buddies and our family members come over and we were going to do a balloon release in his honor, which I now realize is an awful idea in terms of where those Mylar balloons end up. So I do not recommend doing that. But at that time, I, you know, we didn't know any better, and the day before Dan and I had gone to the store that was going to blow up the balloons and we paid for them. But they said now, we're not going to send them home with you if this is going to take place tomorrow, because if we do tomorrow morning 50% of them will be on the ground. The other 50% of them are going to be halfway down, you know, in the air, not on the ceiling anymore. And so you really need to come on the day of the release and you're like, oh, all right, all right.

Mary:

And so that morning Dan said to me hey, are you going to be all right for a little while alone on this anniversary? Well, I run and go get those balloons. And you know, I lied to him a lot back then and I said, oh, yeah, yeah, I'll be fine. And I knew I wasn't. And so I went up to my office and I was talking with Erin in my mind. I said you know, erin, I really need to feel you near to me today, near to me. And I cried and I realized, maybe 20 minutes later, that I better pull myself together, because it wouldn't be long before Dan would be back home.

Mary:

And so I decided that I would go queue up the song that we were going to play when the balloons were released by everyone and it was I know you're out there somewhere by the moody blues. It's the whole song. It's absolutely beautiful. I had picked it. I thought it was perfect for the balloon release and so I thought it was a little iPod on the speaker dock. That was the way it worked back then and I set it up and it got the remote and I walked out to in the lawn where we were going to do the release because I wanted to gauge the right volume and I could see on the iPod that I know you're out there somewhere is a song and I hit the play button and I know you're out there somewhere. Did not come on. A song named near to you played that I didn't even know was on our playlist of thousands of songs. I didn't know it was on there.

Brian:

How do you explain that?

Mary:

He's there, he and others. They leave a physical presence, but there are energy fields. And again, I see this at the beginning of the book, that this is really a book about the laws of physics and thermodynamics, because literally there are forces in the universe that we have not yet even been able to grasp. And I do believe that, when the essence of who we are leaves this early body, leaves this earth, that there are some ways in which, wherever these, these dear ones, reside, whether they are people, animals, that they are able to move these laws of physics and use especially the product means to give out a frequency that enables them to give us that nudge. And in fact, there's an amazing movie named frequency that I would urge you and everyone to watch. It's just, it's a beautiful tale of a man who lost his life in a fire and the ways in which he contacts with his yeah, I've just pulled that up, dennis Quaid.

Brian:

Yes yes, okay, yeah, I'm gonna save that here. You know, mary, and I do believe that, I believe that wholeheartedly. I think that you know, life is nothing more than energy. We are energy, and energy is never dissipated, it just, it transfers over. Yeah, you can't kill energy.

Brian:

I had an experience, mary, that I never thought it was anything of a supernatural level at all. Growing up I thought it was just something that happened, just like me playing Little League Baseball happened, and it was. My father died when I was four and a half and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to him other than to see his body in the casket at the funeral. And it was. I don't know if it was six months later, it was definitely within a year.

Brian:

My family and I were going to church one Sunday and we were walking kind of single file through the house. My mother was saying, okay, we got to go, and I have four older siblings, and at the time we didn't have a furnace. We had a heater like, I guess, a space heater, they were called like the size of a furnace and it was in the corner of our living room and as you walk through the archway to go from the living room to the dining room, into the kitchen, there was a there was a partial wall, there was a wall there and that furnace sat in that corner. And so as I was walking my mother in the lead, my brothers and sisters in front of me I was walking through the archway, I happened to look over to the furnace and my father was kneeling down. He was kneeling down on like one knee and he was there in full form, physical form, and I, kind of, you know, had a look of excitement on my face and he waved at me and I went to go, moved toward him and he just took his head no, like I'm just here to wave at you.

Brian:

He didn't say anything, but it was just he and I, just I laughed and I kept walking, go to and went into church. For years I thought that was just what happened, and it wasn't until several years later I thought that really couldn't have happened, even though it wasn't a dream. It was a middle of the, it was a Sunday morning, 11 o'clock, 10 o'clock, and I remember it was a sunny day and it wasn't until then. I thought, well, that I never questioned it, and then I realized it did really happen it really did happen, you know.

Brian:

But as a young boy I thought, oh, dad's here, he's alive, you know, he's here in physical form. But was it? Then? Later on I thought he couldn't have been there in physical form, he had died with, you know, months earlier. And then I realized and it's one of those I still feel when I say share that story I can still experience the emotion of excitement and elation that I felt seeing him, and what I realized now, it was his way of saying hey, you didn't get a chance to say goodbye to me. Goodbye, this is my goodbye to you. Yeah, and it was. It was a, it was a, it was a. Probably the most powerful moment, at least in the top two or three of my life. Just incredibly powerful, yeah.

Mary:

You know what it reminds me Brian of? Aaron actually had an experience like that and I think he was maybe only a year younger than you were, but when my dad died, aaron was only like three years old and about six months later. We were living in Florida at the time and of course, I had brought Aaron to Wisconsin which is where I'm from home for funeral. And six months later we were at the park and Aaron is swinging on a swing. I'm pushing him and every time he would go forward and get to the very top of where the swing would go. He would go there's Papa, there's Papa. And I kept pushing him and I was like what in the world is he seeing? So when we finished I said tell me about Papa. I just said he goes. Oh yeah, he was up there in the sky.

Mary:

Every time that I would get to the top I could see him and I thought how interesting. And you know, every time that I brought him back the exact same thing would happen, but it would only happen if I put him on that one particular swing. And many, many years after Aaron's own passing, I had occasion to go back to Tampa and I told my husband I want to take you around to where I lived and where that park is, and if that swing is there, I'm going to swing for that swing, and maybe Aaron and my dad will be there. Well, sadly swings no longer existed, but we were able to spend time at that park and unfortunately I didn't get to see anybody, but it felt like a little bit of a connection to the past.

Brian:

Oh, of course, you know, what's very interesting is, after we talked and then I read your book I recalled and I'm trying to remember who they were but at least two or three previous podcast guests that I had. The topic of our show was nothing to do with nudges or anything of that nature, but during the show they shared stories where that happened to them, and I'm trying to remember the one that had an incredibly great and couple of very powerful stories. I'll have to remember who they are. Oh, it was October 31st of 2022. We did an episode with television host Stacy Weaver and it was called Finding Inspiration from Yourself and she talked in there about some experiences her children had and that were mind-blowing and it was like wow. And we did a pre-interview and I said you have to share those stories in the podcast. And she did and they were really interesting.

Brian:

You had mentioned that you're not this. You came from a very pragmatic field of finance. I firmly, I think 15, 20 years ago, stories like this. I would have chalked it up to some coincidence because I didn't believe I was an atheist at one point. I didn't believe in. It was to me, it was hocus pocus.

Brian:

Then I started reading Roger Penrose's works. I started talking to other people in a field where people who were far more intelligent than I was and they said why are you so narrow-minded? Why is your patent office closed for no more learnings and creations? And I started thinking, wow, this is.

Brian:

Then I started looking into quantum physics and understanding manifestation and things of that nature and I have a friend of mine who actually she's the wife of a friend of mine, a dear friend, who is a lead research, a cancer research scientist at the University of Michigan and very pragmatic field, very pragmatic person, very structured, organized, very serious, and she shared things with me.

Brian:

She was one of the first people to introduce me to the concept of energy and how energy it doesn't ever die, it transfers in talking about the afterlife, and that's what really kind of was my thought of wow, if Mary can think this this is another Mary If Mary could feel this way and believe this, I and she's far more intelligent than I am. I need to look into this a little more and I do talk. The vast majority of people I talk to are business executives, things of that nature, and I don't really know of one who wouldn't agree with you and wouldn't agree with what we're talking about today. I think we're becoming just a lot more wise as a culture to see that it isn't just what we can see, hear, taste and smell on this planet. That's reality. It's not. This is a very you know, we're kind of the frog that lives in a pond and thinks the pond is the universe.

Brian:

And it's it's far far bigger you know, try to explain a skyscraper to a frog.

Mary:

They can't understand it, you know but yes, and you know what Our collective consciousness really does need to elevate, and I think it has, and I believe it's on a trajectory to continue doing so, because we are facing a crisis of, you know, ever before unknown proportion. With climate change, we're on a path to our own annihilation in the world as we know it, and so I believe that we are on a path to elevated consciousness. And I don't know if you've ever read the book Generations. It is an easy to read, but it really talks about these cycles where, you know, really devastating things go on and then a world leader comes on the stage and somehow is able to elevate us. And I think you know recently, well, in the world history, right now we're in an ugly place, in a dark place where the wrong type of things are prevailing. But, all that said, I think that there is this consciousness, this awakening that sets just underfoot and beginning to rumble, and it needs to, because we're in a pickle right now.

Brian:

Well, that's part of why your story is going to go across the world next week to or right now, as the people are listening to it to really share that. And you know, I wanted to say this because you had mentioned this earlier and I think there's a picture of you and Aaron sitting on the beach at Cape Cod and you're reading the book Many Lives, many Masters. That book was a game changer for me. That is an incredible book, yeah, and you know, I know it talks a great deal about reincarnation and things of that nature. And there's another book that I read right after I read Many Lives, many Masters and it was about a young boy who claims and he was very young that he was a fighter pilot in a previous life.

Brian:

And I can't think I bought it at Barnes Noble when you walk in and they have those really inexpensive books in the vestibule years and years and years ago probably 20 years ago and 15 years ago and I bought it and I forgot what it was called. And it talks and the book lays out this kid could explain the inside of a cockpit of a World War II fighter plane. I was. It was amazing. I mean, whether you believe in reincarnation or whatever you believe in. The point is we can't deny the facts that we are being presented, that there's something more, what that is maybe I mean I don't have the capacity or the bandwidth to explain it or to know it, but I just know there is and that, right, there is enough to know there is.

Mary:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree.

Brian:

Mary, this is a tough question. If you could go back to the day prior to Aaron's passing in Memorial Day weekend of 2010,. If you could go back one day prior to that and you could talk to yourself not to Aaron, but you could talk to yourself and you had to give yourself one piece of advice, what would you tell yourself?

Mary:

Well, I mean, I think I would say go home right now and prevent this. But if I were only allowed to give myself advice in the events, what would happen anyway? It would be you know, lean into this and do this your own way and, kind of, you know, be open, keep your eyes open, keep your heart open Because he, although will be leaving your physical existence, you will learn that he is around you and you know, that would be the advice. And, in fact, I dream of Aaron almost, you know, five times a week to this very day, and someone once said to me yeah, he comes and he stands in your bedroom doorway every night. I love that image, I love that thought and I love the fact that I dream of him.

Brian:

That is so beautiful and I have no doubt that that's what's happening. You know, when I started reading the book, you know I have children of my own. Of course, I have two biological children and three bonus sons and I love them all dearly and it of course when you're a parent reading this, your story, you tend to connect differently, maybe at a deeper level. If I didn't have children and I remember at the beginning of the book I thought, you know you were talking about Aaron. I thought I want to get to know this guy and I thought that a few times throughout the book and then at the end of the book when I shut the pages, I remember thinking I do know him.

Brian:

Now I know him and just the love that you two share to this day and forever and eternally will. It exudes through the entire. You know every page, every drop of ink on those pages, the love you guys shared on here on earth and you still share and will eternally share it just it shines through and it really is more than just a journey of a mother dealing with and carrying this death, this challenging load of losing her son here on earth. It's really a testimony and a testament to the love a parent shares with a child and a child shares with his or her parent, and I can't thank you enough for for for reading or writing this book and having the courage to, to carry that load and continue to and to really inspire people. Mary, it's so awe inspiring. My deepest respect for you.

Mary:

Thank you. You know I will see that early on after writing the book and you know, beginning to go through the proofreading process, I did a couple of things really, really deliberately, and one was I priced it really low because I wanted it to be accessible and I made a commitment that anyone that was experiencing a financial hardship all they had to do is let me know and I would make sure that they got a copy, and I love that. You also said that earlier. But the other thing is I made a decision that all of the proceeds will go to charity upon my own death and you might want to give them away now you know when you can get the accolades for doing so, but remember, I come out of financial services and so I want to crack at managing the money and making it grow. We give a great amount to a charity or charities, but you know, in so doing I really hope people will realize that my intentions are pure.

Mary:

This is as much Aaron's work as it is mine and I. You know I don't have a ton of gifts, but I do have love for words and I don't think any parent or anyone who grieves over you know, whether it's a spouse, a parent, a child, a brother, sister, nephew, a dog, a horse, a cat. I don't think any of you feel very differently than I do. We can't put a measure on one person's grief being more than another's. I think we all, you know, unfortunately are destined to have a grief journey, or more than one. So by sharing whatever small gifts that I possess, through my words, my stories, my willingness to share, I feel like I'm keeping Aaron's legacy alive and that I'm giving what I can give me to shine a little bit of light in a world that I no need that.

Brian:

Well, you are most certainly doing that, and before we wrap up, I want to ask you do you have any idea why Jason connected us?

Mary:

Well, jason read the book. Jason and I became very good friends, in addition to being colleagues, and I think we both have a very genuine respect for one another, and he has a great deal of respect for you. I did listen to the podcast that you did with him and I think he is on a journey of giving a gift to the world as well with his love of learning and teaching and helping others, and I think that it was just, you know, one of those little inspirations where he said well, I want to connect you to, and I'm so glad that he did, brian.

Brian:

Well, I am as well, and I do think that was just another nudge from Aaron. You know you live in North Carolina, I live in Michigan. We've never crossed paths before. You've never heard my name prior. I've never heard your name prior. Can you tell me the date of Aaron's birthday?

Mary:

Yeah, march 20th 1990.

Brian:

My birthday is also March 20th.

Mary:

Oh wow, okay, Synchronicity again. There's no accident, there's just no accident.

Brian:

When I was reading the book and I saw that, I thought, wow. I mean, obviously there's a one in 365 chance of that happening, but that's a very small odd. It's a very small odd.

Mary:

Yeah, on my third Right.

Brian:

Yes, it was just another one of those little nudges, so yeah.

Brian:

Oh well, mary, we're going to wrap up now and I'd like to have you back on. I think there's so much more to your journey and so much more wisdom and inspiration you can share and if, with your permission, I'm going to stay in contact with you and get you back on again, because I think this is an episode where people are going to come. I'm going to hear a lot of positive feedback and I'm going to have a lot of the audience members out there saying can you get her back on? I need to hear more, I need to listen to.

Brian:

Mary again, so I hope you're open to that.

Mary:

I would be total-headed.

Brian:

Oh great. So bamboo, pack audience out there. You members just know that, as I a lot of times do, the first five people who respond with a heart message to me by a text, email or however you want to reach out that we receive, sharing with us what this podcast did for you, we'll get a free copy of Mary's book Nudges from the Other Side, and we'll also include a link to From Barnes and Noble, as well as Amazon, on the show notes today. Please get on there, man. This book is a game changer. It's a life changer in so many ways. It's inspirational, it's tragic, but with an incredible, like I said, you walk away a better person. That's the best way to put it. So I think that's the best way to finish this off.

Brian:

So, mary again, it was an honor to speak with you today and I'd like to talk to you for a few minutes after we're done recording, but as we wrap up, I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and just know that there are so many people right now in your corner loving you, and now we're all going to be looking and noticing the nudges that we probably have been ignoring all of our lives. We're going to see nudges from our loved ones, and hopefully we'll even get some nudges from Aaron during the course of our day, so this one goes out to Aaron. This episode is dedicated to Aaron and the beautiful life he lived on earth and the incredible changes and impact he's making now from the other side. So thank you, mary, for being such an amazing guest on the Bamboo Lab podcast.

Mary:

Oh, thank you very, very much and much love to all your visitors.

Brian:

Thank you very much. Bamboo Pack audience. Thank you for tuning in again this week. As always, I ask you to get out there and strive to just be your best, show love and respect to others and, by all means, live intentionally and enjoy the journey. I love each and every one of you.

Inspiration Through Fictional Characters
Nudges From the Other Side
The Impact of Carrying Grief
A Ship Sailing and Memories Shared
Lost Cell Phone and Unexpected Kindness
Supernatural Nudges and Connections
Exploring Consciousness, Energy, and the Afterlife
Bamboo Pack Message