When life handed Dana Jameson an array of heartaches, she chose resilience over defeat. Her candid conversation on our latest podcast episode is a testament to the enduring human spirit, as Dana, a mother, grandmother, and widow, opens up about the personal calamities she's faced and the unwavering strength that carried her through. Her story, rich with humor and the warmth of memories, echoes the spirit of her grandparents' wartime love story, and showcases a remarkable journey of self-discovery, loss, and forgiveness.
Navigating through life's unexpected twists can leave us feeling rudderless, but Dana's experiences remind us that finding joy and identity amidst adversity is possible. Her struggles, from adjusting to new family dynamics on a horse farm to redefining her purpose beyond the roles of spouse and parent, speak to the transformative power of personal growth. As Dana shares her path to reinvigorating her passion for photography and embracing the legacy she leaves behind, listeners will find inspiration to manifest positivity and cultivate a mindset geared towards hope and healing.
We wrap our profound dialogue with a reflection on the commonalities that unite us in our human experience. Dana's journey is punctuated by her practice of mindfulness, the ability to silence the inner critic, and the importance of choosing joy in the ordinary moments. Whether you're seeking solace from your own inner battles or looking to embrace the journey of life with grace, this episode promises to resonate deeply, offering tools for intentional living and the courage to forgive and love oneself. Join us as we celebrate the indomitable Dana Jamison, whose story is not just about survival but about thriving in the face of life's most challenging storms.
https://bamboolab3.com/
When life handed Dana Jameson an array of heartaches, she chose resilience over defeat. Her candid conversation on our latest podcast episode is a testament to the enduring human spirit, as Dana, a mother, grandmother, and widow, opens up about the personal calamities she's faced and the unwavering strength that carried her through. Her story, rich with humor and the warmth of memories, echoes the spirit of her grandparents' wartime love story, and showcases a remarkable journey of self-discovery, loss, and forgiveness.
Navigating through life's unexpected twists can leave us feeling rudderless, but Dana's experiences remind us that finding joy and identity amidst adversity is possible. Her struggles, from adjusting to new family dynamics on a horse farm to redefining her purpose beyond the roles of spouse and parent, speak to the transformative power of personal growth. As Dana shares her path to reinvigorating her passion for photography and embracing the legacy she leaves behind, listeners will find inspiration to manifest positivity and cultivate a mindset geared towards hope and healing.
We wrap our profound dialogue with a reflection on the commonalities that unite us in our human experience. Dana's journey is punctuated by her practice of mindfulness, the ability to silence the inner critic, and the importance of choosing joy in the ordinary moments. Whether you're seeking solace from your own inner battles or looking to embrace the journey of life with grace, this episode promises to resonate deeply, offering tools for intentional living and the courage to forgive and love oneself. Join us as we celebrate the indomitable Dana Jamison, whose story is not just about survival but about thriving in the face of life's most challenging storms.
https://bamboolab3.com/
Hello and welcome to the Bamboo Lab podcast with your host, Pete Performance Coach, Brian Bosley. Are you stuck on the hamster wheel of life, spinning and spinning but not really moving forward? Are you ready to jump off and soar? Are you finally ready to sculpt your life? If so, you've landed in the right place. This podcast is created and broadcast just for you, All of you strivers, thrivers and survivors out there. If you'd like to learn more about Brian and the Bamboo Lab, feel free to reach out to explore your true peak level at wwwBambooLab3.com.
Speaker 2:Welcome everyone to this week's episode of the Bamboo Lab podcast. We have a really good show today. I have known this guest now for I don't even know a few years anyway Never met in person, texted, talked on the phone, facebook friends, and it wasn't until maybe a month ago I thought you know she put some pretty interesting stuff on Facebook. It's one of those things where when I'm on Facebook and I find a feed that I'm actually interested in because I scroll in the mornings when I do my normal morning post and I find something that makes me inspired or makes me laugh, I stop at it, and a lot of times Dana's stuff made me giggle in a good way. Not everything, some things were more inspiring. But so today, folks, we have Dana Jamison. I'm going to do a really short read before we jump in here.
Speaker 2:Dana is the mother of three grown children and grandmother to six and a widow. She's a lover of inner light, emotion and human connection. She has been a self-employed photographer business owner now for, I believe, 15 years. She's a paranormal investigator, culture arts enthusiast, and she's a mentor to women and small business. Now here's the thing In the past seven and a half years, Dana has gone through some amazing challenges. That's really carved the person she is today. It's really.
Speaker 2:You've got to hear her story. I'll just let her tell it. But in this past seven and a half years she's experienced a tremendous grief from the tragic and unexpected loss of her husband. I mean, that could tear anybody up. It would tear anybody up. But not only that, but she also had a lot of other things that happened, along with having to shut down a couple of photography studios, moving 10 times, nearly becoming homeless with a child at home.
Speaker 2:She lived out of storage units, moving pods and friends rental homes, and I want to share this because this is where her story started in the past seven and a half years. Now she'll tell you where her story is now and here's a part of her bio that I love, something she said in an email to me. These are her quotes Opportunities come to past not to pause. Through each of these experiences, I've made the choice to become a survivor, not a victim by circumstance, but it started with a conscious choice and I've learned to appreciate, grow and find the silver linings. Because of them, I'm finally able to forgive others and take accountability for my own life, and I'm able to love me. Dana Jamison, my dear friend, welcome to the Bamboo Lab podcast.
Speaker 3:Well, thank you, brian, what a wonderful introduction.
Speaker 2:When you sent me that email. I read that last paragraph so many times. I'm like I almost want to frame that somewhere, put it on my whiteboard. That was powerful man. That was really, really powerful.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're welcome.
Speaker 3:Thank you. I probably am a much better writer than I am a speaker, but I absolutely enjoy pouring my heart out and soul into things that mean something to me. So thank you, I appreciate that.
Speaker 2:Oh, you are welcome. Well, let's test your speaking abilities today.
Speaker 3:All right, all right.
Speaker 2:So I've gotten to know quite a bit about you. There's so much I haven't learned yet, but, dana, can you please share with us a little bit about yourself, your childhood, growing up, your family and whatever you want to share, as well as who or what inspired you as a child?
Speaker 3:Okay, well, that sounds like a loaded question, but I think all these questions are going to be loaded for you. I bet. Well, as you already mentioned, I have three kids they're all adults and grown and six grandchildren, and one out of the three are now married. My youngest baby girl is now getting married in June and she's in her first year of law school. She's actually going to be fifth generation of lawyers and judges. So crazy legal ties and history there.
Speaker 2:Okay, let me stop here for just a minute. Yeah, it's the videos with her that always made me laugh and giggle.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, she's got this incredibly silly side to her, but she's a powerful little punch. She packs a powerful little punch. That's awesome, so her genetics are great. She keeps me laughing all the time.
Speaker 2:I would imagine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so fun. Yeah, so my mom's side. It's actually pretty interesting. I'm actually the first granddaughter stemming from a German grandmother and a Hungarian grandfather my grandmother. She was an early child and she was an heir to her family's winery businesses.
Speaker 3:But back in the days of World War II she met the first love, and only love of her life, and he was. He happened to be a Hungarian cook in the war. They were young and in love and 18 years old, but he won her heart by bringing her horse potato peelings so yeah, she has quite a testimony with that and spending days under her porcelain bath tub when her family's home was bombed and later she was ostracized by her family. They later eloped and went to the United States to be wed, so she never saw them again. They continued to learn the English language and raise a family of five. And she's still living today in her 90s, and the reason I mentioned that is because she's such an inspiration to me. Growing I didn't know that period of time in her life, but knowing part of her story that she'll talk about today gave me the inspiration to move forward in parts of mine. Wow.
Speaker 2:How come it can't be that easy today, just bringing some potato peels or skins to a horse.
Speaker 3:My grandfather wanted her heart by bringing her horse potato peelings I mean, rations are tight back in the day of World War II, right, and that's it. That's all it took. And love is a powerful thing. Yeah, I wouldn't be here today had she not made the decision to come to the States and marry the love of her life. So I'm a product of that.
Speaker 3:My dad's side is great, but they're wonderful people. But I didn't have much of a relationship afforded to me. He died young as well, 33 years old. I was just 10. And his dad also died soon and it seems like all of the men on any relationship that I've ever been a best student have all passed on and the women prevail. So unfortunately that has had a very big impact on my life. But I did have a wonderful childhood, at least the first 10 years of it. Things changed tremendously After my mom got remarried. After my dad died. She was already seeing somebody. They remarried, and he was a detective in the police department. So here we go again. Law, right. The law ties were in deep, yeah, all within the first year after his death. So we were moved out to a horse farm way out in the country on a natural beauty, road miles from any neighbors. We worked the farm, we befriended the Amish and we attended church three times a week, twice on Sunday.
Speaker 2:And on Wednesday as well.
Speaker 3:Absolutely Wednesday and twice on Sunday. So I was allowed to go on mission trips with my church, but I was forbidden to listen to any secular music on Sundays. It was a whole ADA after all. Right, I wasn't really allowed to have dates or have very many friends outside of church. I kind of feel like it was organized religion on steroids. But these are the same. I volunteered for every club and sport available at school. I kept me busy otherwise, but that's sort of the way I grew up. We yeah.
Speaker 2:Where was it? What part of the state or country Netherlands, south Africa?
Speaker 3:Not far from here. Actually, I haven't gone far from my roots have always been native to Michigan and I just grew up in a little small in the Lincoln-Yaniset town which I you know where I graduated with from graduating class of less than 100.
Speaker 2:Yeah, me too 70, I think ours was 76. Yeah absolutely. You know what's funny, dana is so many of the people I have on the podcast and they share how many kids, what the size of their city was or the size of their town. I would bet I'm here. I would bet 70 or more percent of my guests have been from small towns. One person graduated in a class of five people and I've gone on to do some amazing things. It's amazing what small towns produce as far as future, talent and amazing people.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's so true too. I think we're less distracted that way, we have more intimate connections, we have more time to do the things that really matter. And you know I've done. I always said to my clients I'm a small hometown girl with big ideas and big city life living. You know, grandiose ideas that kind of come to fruition from time to time and they, you know and they proved out both professionally and personally. So I happen to agree with that idea wholeheartedly.
Speaker 2:Dana, how do you agree? When your father passed away, we were 10 years old, 10. Okay, that's a tough age. That's a really tough. I think that's probably the. I was four and a half, my sister, I think it was 11 when my father passed away and I think it was much harder on her than it was on myself, because, you know, when you're young you're a little naive about death, but when you're 10 or 11, you get it and your father is incredibly important to a young girl, or even to a young boy too, but at that age it's a pivotal moment. Sorry to hear that man.
Speaker 3:No, that's okay. Honestly, he died unexpectedly as well, but you know, he actually died in a car accident. But he had this need for speed and love the action with sports cars and he worked for a fancy company that gave him those luxurious every year. So, yeah, it was totally unexpected but, you know, and often a hard thing to go through as well. I went from being and I was the only one you know the only girl in my family. I have two younger brothers and I'm the oldest. So I think I took it personally. Yeah, I think it took. I think I took it personally and I took it harder. There was a lot of picking up the pieces. Families, my family was falling apart, and that's always been who I am, and I still am today picking up the pieces and moving forward through each loss, each grief, each death, each. Yeah, I'm that person.
Speaker 2:How, when you were growing up, then you had it. It was obviously right in the middle of your growth from baby, from childhood or from birth to being coming adult, you lost your father. What did you, or who did you find inspiration in at that time, and what inspired you?
Speaker 3:Well, truly, my dad. Honestly, I think there is no other special bond that a mother, you know mother has with a son, and also a father with a daughter. I don't know why that works out the way it does, but it does. And so, truly my dad, you know I analyzed him. Funny little backstory. I probably shouldn't tell this one, but my dad, he favored, he loved my mom dearly, there's no doubt about it. Okay, but my mom actually is, you know, she has a more of a European stroke and she's our care dark-eyed and you know she has more of an olive skin tone complexion.
Speaker 3:So here I am, a blonde hair, blue-eyed and fair skin, and that was always the mystery, like where did this one come from? But you know the funny, and you'd have to know my dad to know that there's humor in what I'm about to say. But he was really extremely funny and he told me he did actually mention to my mom, probably in a moment, that he was trying to be funny or light in the mood or something like that, but he did tell her that. You know, well, hey, if I couldn't marry a blonde, I'm gonna make my own, and I'll be damned if he didn't. Yeah, I'm okay. So, yeah, that was a bone of contention. You know, I don't know, boy, how did you get the lucky? Yeah, yeah, so, truly my dad and honestly, you know, and that's just because I idolized him and he was, you know, he was a great inspiration to me and he didn't take life too seriously. But unless he had to, that and the other person and this is probably gonna blow your mind, but back in the day it was, you know, my dad, jesus.
Speaker 3:There was no two other men who could ever compare to anyone else growing up. Why, I guess probably because having a personal relationship with Jesus and the stories that I read in the Bible when I grew up I read it twice, by the way, cover to cover yeah, seeing the bridge to gap with my dad's loss and how he helped me heal when I couldn't heal myself Without a stable father figure. It kind of provided me the moral compass and I was able to get through some of my most rebellious teen years with conviction and hope. And I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up, but until a point. But I actually knew what I didn't want to be. What did you want to be? So I didn't want to be my mom.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there was just a lot of crazy dynamics that went into that relationship and part of the growing up experience and her moving on too quickly to another relationship and providing me a stepdad and, along with that, moving us out into the middle of the country to take care of the farm, the horse farm, away from family, away from friends, and then being stripped of everything that we've ever known or grown roots with or from, was devastating to me.
Speaker 3:So that caused a lot of friction, as you can imagine. Yeah, so I knew what I didn't want to be and I was still feeling at that point. So I idolized my dad and, like I mentioned before, being the first child and the only girl, I often was always competing for his attention with two younger brothers. So I kind of grew up a tomboy, learned how to fish, throw a ball garden, do all the boy things, and I'm grateful for that today, because I'm finding out that there's a lot of these. These are the lot of same things that I still enjoyed to this day, but I never would have had the experience otherwise.
Speaker 2:That's interesting, wow. So I'm gonna go to the next question, because I know this one's gonna. I think you have a lot to say on this one. In the last 12 months, you've gone through a lot of stuff and I just I'm so I don't know, I don't even know. I mean it's, but I'm gonna ask you let's start here In the last 12 months, what do you think has been your greatest learning or learnings?
Speaker 3:Oh, that's definitely a loaded question, jeez. Okay, next I'll have to charge you for this one. It's gonna be by the hour, I'm just kidding. We're gonna, yeah, go ahead yeah.
Speaker 3:Just send me a mail. Okay, yeah, it's in the mail. I'm kidding, all right. So it's more of a culmination of lifetime experiences, everything that I've gone through in my relationship to grief and pain and loss and feelings of abandon and rejection that's come along with the way. Learning how I was outside of my role and other people's lives, that's a big one. If I'm not a wife, a mother of this, I'm not someone's wife or someone's mother or someone's the cheer mom, the dance mom, the football mom, the whatever. Who am I Right those questions? So learning who I was outside of that role has been really pivotal to me. I finally accepted that the American way is not a dream. No, it doesn't make sense. I finally accepted that A plus B does not equal C.
Speaker 2:Did that start when your daughter went on the law school and you became an official empty nester?
Speaker 3:Oh god, no, no, that started long ago. No, it started long before then, when I realized that everything proactively that I've done in my life to make the choices to lead to a result, it often doesn't lead to that result. So A plus B does not equal C. No, I mean.
Speaker 2:You're trying to figure out your role or who you are outside of other people's lives, these roles. I find that that happens. That happened for me when Dawson went off to school and two and a half years ago and I'm like, who the hell am I now? I'm not. I'm a dad still, but I'm not a day-to-day dad, and that was my primary role for night or for 30 some years with my daughter than my son. That's how I find it. So did you find, when she went off to school, that that that question of who you are was exasperated a bit?
Speaker 3:No, I actually think it started sooner than that and with the transitional phases of accepting the loss of my late husband, and I think I had to transition from well, I'm not, I'm not married anymore, I'm not, and what does this mean? And then I had to think I'm not thinking bilaterally anymore, I'm thinking singly, and that came with a lot of grief. I transition from, you know, so married thinking to single thinking, and that I also transitioned through titles too. So I'm not Mrs Anymore, I'm not. You know, yeah, and you know there's two Mrs Jamesons. So you know that that often to me was kind of a hey, I'm never Mrs Jameson, you know, anyway, I'm too casual for that. You know, just call me Dana. But yes, they're transitioning through those titles. I'm not Mrs Anymore, I'm miss at my miss, I'm not, I'm just Dana, just call me Dana, you know. And so I think that's where the transition started, with Finally accepting some individuality and some ownership into who I actually am and learning again how to, how to think independently and how to move through that process. But, yeah, and some of the other things I think I've learned is that you know, no matter how hard, you do the right thing and you put your Offers and expect the results. They're not gonna happen the way that you think they should. I've also learned to be careful with what I wished for. I Was kind of crazy, I know. There is a point in my life where I actually prayed every single day for many years For God to intervene in my life and that something had to change. And it did and and now he's dead by you know. So that that that is something it did change, but it didn't change to the way I expected it to. So this, this next part, is a little hard for me to say, but, but you know, it's a part of my story, it's part of who I am and I'm not ashamed to tell it. So you know, bob died by his own hand. I Was left to to cradle and console our kids, pick up the pieces and carry on.
Speaker 3:This process, as you can imagine, has forever changed me. I no longer hold any resentment, so towards anybody, because ultimately it just holds me hostage. And when I recognize that I gave my, I literally gave myself the freedom to make a choice and the permission to actually live my life and discover who I am outside of those Identities that I created within me. So, you know, obviously, wife and mother being the most important to me, that was, you know, family so important to me. So wife and mother were the two things I honored the most. Outside of that, it's yeah, you know, yes, I'm a professional photographer and yes, I'm a football mom, dance mom, cheer mom, all those roles that you, you know, those hats you wear, and all of that. But none of that even mattered if I wasn't a wife or mother. Those are the. Those are the things that I considered the most important.
Speaker 3:I choose now to honor who he was in life, not for how he died, in death and the many judgments that, of course, come along with that. I learned not to put the small stuff in my relationships and I think it's all, mostly all small stuff. I Learned how to lead with conviction and unconditional love with my children and I learned to keep Transparency and communication and feelings alive. That's so critical and important. I now meet people where they're out, without hesitation of judgments and, my god, did I learn a lot of patience in this process. I'm not even a patient person, so children taught me that.
Speaker 3:I think that life and maybe this, this linear timeline where we're all just checking boxes and going through the checklist, our day and my, my love, and, and the way that I made my loved ones feel today. It's something that transcends the complicities of time, right? I hope that they they may not ever remember what I say, but I just remember how I mean and feel and, yeah, and ultimately I think they've learned that who I am and what I want to be, outside of years worth of conditioning and circles, circumstantial tragedies, is worth the journey, the ride. It literally took me nearly 52 years to undo all of that and I have now any part of that for a minute.
Speaker 2:Can you repeat that and then dissect it just for a minute, what you mean by that? Sure which part before that, when you said you took you 52 years to figure that out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, ultimately, I finally learned who I want to be and who I am today, outside of all the years worth of conditioning and circumstantial tragedies. Okay, okay, and it took me 52 years to undo all that.
Speaker 2:So Can I share a quote with you that I think is one of the most profound quotes and I might have shared this with you on the phone Last week when we spoke. It was a Michelangelo quote. I've shared this multiple times. Yes, and it was a quote. He had sculpted this amazing angel outside of this cathedral and then, when asked how he did it, how he created this work of art, he said I saw the angel in the marble and I simply sculpted until I set him free.
Speaker 2:And when you were talking that, you know who I am, who I wanted to be, despite you know the conditioning and the circumstances and things like that. That's what I pictured in my head is there's this angel in and you in and all of us. That all of a sudden, but over the course of years, we kind of go the ant, we go the opposite way of Michelangelo. We start as an angel and then circumstances and tragedies and people's opinions and people's judgments and blah, blah, blah. Bad choice, when we end up putting all this unnecessary marble around us and pretty soon, after 10, 15, 20, 52 years, we are completely unrecognizable from the person we are.
Speaker 2:Because of all this conditioning put around us and all these this. We carry a fake idea around and I say you have a true, peak identity inside of you, but we carry a fake identity all the every day and it's probably it's basically it's it's developed To do to the circumstances of our lives, the things people have said, the tragedies We've gone through, that you know, we've kind of created this almost false ID and we get up in the morning every morning and we put our feet on the ground next to our bed and we, we act out that fake ID versus that true person that's inside of us. What you've done now and later in life and you're you know You're still young, but you know later in life is, as most people that would turn that around yeah.
Speaker 2:I had my mommy, and now I'm sculpting it away and I'm taking, I'm doing. You're doing what, michelangelo? You're sculpting away the excess marble and finding out who you truly are inside and who that angel is inside. Even you're living that and that's that's. That, to me, is the symbol of your journey. You gotta put that quote up, man. You gotta pick that up and print it up and put it somewhere in your house. It's cool.
Speaker 3:Thank you, I appreciate that. Yeah, you know it's a lot of work and the journey isn't easy. It's been a lot of self-reflection, but I think I did. I started with this slab of marble and then I've been taking away layers, ultimately finding and defining who I am as a person and what I'm actually capable of. And I have to find that I actually don't Give myself enough credit, you know. You know I, you know, as an artist anyway, I'm constantly, you know I'm a visionary, anyhow, by trade and and looking at things In a way that most people don't see a masterpiece, but I feel like it's worth. You know it's reflective of what, who I am and what I've gone through, and that is, that's just it. I'm chiseling away at it, defining who I want to be and why I am today. So that's awesome.
Speaker 2:So, dana, I'm gonna forgo the question. I always ask everyone because I think we all know what the most difficult thing you've ever gone through has been, but I would like to ask you, the audience out there. There's a person out there right now in the audience listening and he or she is Going through something incredibly difficult. Whatever relative to them, it's incredibly challenging and they don't know if they can get through it. They don't know how they're gonna get through it. It could be something that you face a loss of a loved one, it could be a health of financial issue, could be a death's depression, it could be any a number of number of things. What would you say to that person right now to give them some hope that, hey, you can get through this. What are some things that you've done? And you can repeat what you've already said, but I know somebody out there is going oh my gosh, I feel what she must have felt seven and a half years ago. What piece of advice would you give that person right now?
Speaker 3:Oh God, who. Where do I start? Well, one you start with a choice, that's. That's exactly where you start. You have to make a choice and Then you know, for me it was. It was about filtering the messages that were coming through in my, in my own head, and some of those were just like I said, it's a product of my environment, you know, product of you know. I needed to decide whether those thoughts were my own or something that was given to me along the way that I picked up and assumed responsibility for. That is, it's critical, honestly, and I did that through Of a non-traditional way actually, you know, because I'm an artist and I did this differently. It doesn't mean that it's right or wrong, just means that's what it worked for me. But sort of, with a choice is sort of a journaling my thoughts, my feelings. I, you know, my great journey is a little different from most, but I gave giving myself permission. That was huge. Wait, I've never had a choice before. What do I do now? You know I have a choice, a permission, like I'm not just walking through the timeline of my life, this linear, you know, way of looking at things, and like I'm doomed because these things happen to me in my life. No, I actually have a choice. So that's where it started for me.
Speaker 3:I channelled a lot of my grief through writing, poetry, writing in general, my photography work. Of course, music was huge and my spirituality and that is. Those are the, those are my grief channels and sometimes I share it publicly. Sometimes I didn't get very vulnerable. I knew. I knew that being vulnerable in the process to me was was critical, that Not for the accountability aspect, but more or so because I needed. I just asked everything. I lost everything. Right, I lost my home, I lost my family, I lost my life, I lost, lost my Friends, I lost, and I lost it all overnight. I, like you know that I went on to be, you know Well, you know, back in the bio. Day is here. Let me see here. I Lost a car. This all happened within the first year of of losing, you know, my, my counterpart so lost a foot hill. You know, in the foot hill mountains of the Kentucky Um Cumberland gap, I blew up a car. I was stranded down there for a week. You know, shutting down two studios and moving ten times. I just I lost me. I lost me in that process. These are, these are all things that have happened to me and but there's been a lot of stories that have been woven in through the course of my life that have provided my healing points and those the journey like.
Speaker 3:I talk about spirituality, right, I mean I, dan there, gave up on God, um, because you know how in the world could so many things, so many critical things, happen to one person and Before they lose themselves and they're unrecognizable and Become just a shell of a person? You know, so I, you know, if you follow Elizabeth Kugler Ross, who's obviously a yeah, she's a phenomenal expert in the field of grief and loss. You know, she, she recommends not doing any of these things, not the first year. Other things I was forced to do, yeah, the things that were critical of what I was forced to do. I think I had a choice in any of that. I didn't, but but I survived, didn't, and part of the spirituality part. So there's one story Do you want to tell along the way. There's a.
Speaker 3:There was a critical time in my life where, right, right, shortly after, at the point in time where my husband passed away, we were, we were selling a house. At that time, we were down-sizing. You know kids have gone at the house, they're all moving on. I didn't want a big house with a big mortgage and big, big, you know a lot amount of things to do every single day just to maintain it. I didn't want that anymore and we were at a point in time in our lives where we were moving on to the last chapter, the last phase of. You know what's it going to be like now. I'm sure grandkids are going to come, kids are going to graduate with degrees I Like this going to change. And then that's when he passed away.
Speaker 3:Unfortunately, the house, the house fell through. It didn't sell. The next 10 months. It's out there as an empty shell of a woman and I had a look at it every single day and and I'm thinking to myself, it this is, this is so ironic. The irony here I'm an empty shell of a woman. Looking at the empty shell of my life so visually it was mirroring back to me what, what I felt about myself in that moment and for the next 10 months.
Speaker 3:Obviously I moved out of it, but I also moved back into it Because somebody needed to stay there and be. It was just the way it worked out and I needed to go back and I needed to do my healing and I needed to have that comfort level. I needed to remember the good times, the memories, and that was all part of it. I didn't have any furniture in the house. We had one bed, I think, up in my daughter's bedroom, and my daughter and I moved back into that one bedroom upstairs and we got through it by. We played Christmas music every single day for 365 days.
Speaker 3:I remember you telling me we made shadow puppet figures on the wall every night because the silence was deafening. The silence is deafening, and to not have life being breathed through the house anymore. There wasn't joy, there wasn't laughter, there was only these moments that we created for ourselves, and that's where you see the funny little videos that pop up on Facebook. We did that with nothing, but yes, it was amusing, yes, it was silly and goofy, but to us it represents a time where we had nothing else and we had to create it for us. We had to laugh, we had to give ourselves permission to do it.
Speaker 3:So the story that I'm gonna tell is a point in time where the house hadn't sold I'm still maintaining the mortgage and the payments and the lawn were 17 acres and huge pole bar and huge house all that and a lot of work for one person to do on their own. I just happened to be at a real low point that day and my brakes, I think, went out on the car. I was living out of storage units of pods and can't find the right shoes. It was just one of those things every day. And my daughter had to go to school and a friend offered me to borrow her car so I could get my brakes fixed that day and it wasn't gonna be that big of a deal. It was just a horrendous day. She says but first you gotta take me over to this gig that I'm setting up for this event and you're really creative, you can help me with that. While I was there I bumped into a friend of mine and she said hey, dana, I should probably say that my lawn hadn't been mowed. There was a crazy event there that happened to where I took my lawn mower in, and they actually stole my lawn mower so they wouldn't return it. The small engine repair guy he wouldn't return it. He returned it to me the first time, but without oil in it, and so I blew up the engine, and that too. I'm not exactly. I'm definitely tech challenged. I don't do these things on my own and I'm still a work in progress, like it took me a little while to realize this. So he came and picked it back up.
Speaker 3:My lawn turned into a crazy mess. I was trying to show the house, trying to sell this house, this. My lawn was getting deeper and deeper and thicker and thicker. I was at an unbearable breaking point that day and I knew I had a showing coming up on the house. I knew I had a lot riding on it and I bumped into my friend, who's now with me, and she asks me hey, did you ever get your lawn mower back? How's your lawn looking? And I just burst into tears. I burst into tears, I ran out of the building like an idiot and then I just ran and I just kept running. I just, you know, no, there was just no reason to my rhyme there. It didn't make any sense, but it made sense to me at the time.
Speaker 3:Anyway, she caught up with me and she said she gave me a great big hug and these people entered my life at the exact time that I needed them the most. This is just some random person, some random acquaintance. Anyway, fast forward. This happened to me over and over and over again, to the course of all these low points and low moments People kept showing up out of and they're not people I know very well. They're not people I asked to show up. They're not people that know them. You didn't know my story very well. I think it's showing up and they kept doing the thing and saying the thing. And do you know all the things that meant the most to me? And sometimes it was nothing more than just a hug. I saw your car in the parking lot or, hey, I wanted to stop by and just see your pretty smile again. These were just the simplest of things that people could do, and people did them.
Speaker 3:But that day, the day that I'm describing, the crazy day, excuse me was one of most importance. And you know, it was another very teachable moment for me. I was scared already. I was vulnerable already. I was working through a process that I didn't know how to trust people, I didn't know what to do and I, you know I lost everything I could. I went through this process.
Speaker 3:I got home that evening and I went to collect the mail and my entire lawn was mowed. It was mowed All six and a half acres and 60 bags of grass 60 bags. And not only was it mowed, but it was mowed to perfection. It was detailed with such, with this beautiful, crisscross, glistening pattern that it would be show worthy to anybody. And that was. It took my breath away. I mean so much so that I'm already an emotional person and I'm already I can be. I was already in my most vulnerable and most lowest point, but that was enough to just say, okay, I surrender in that moment. So I literally ended up in the end of the driveway, just curl up in a fetal position, just bawling my eyes out, like who could have done this for me, who would care enough to know my needs before I even mentioned them to anyone, and who would have known that that's the one thing in my life right now that would have brought me any joy at all. Just something simple, but something so magnificent and hard and challenging, like 60 bags of grass, mowed perfection, crisscross, glistening, gleaming lawn. It then thrilled me in that moment.
Speaker 3:And so the story goes on. I have no idea who did this, I have no idea what kinds of took their time to do this, and I had I had my phone shut off. I wasn't taking calls, texts, emails no one could reach me. And I finally decided to turn my phone on and check social media for a quick hot minute and there was a message that popped up Somebody not connected to me in my friends and they were trying to reach me and said, hey, you don't know me, but today is my five year anniversary and I woke up thanking God for the people in my life and the sobriety that I have. I'm not a good guy. I've done bad things and I want you to know my story. But I woke up today feeling like I am so grateful for my life that I wanted to bless somebody else for it. And a little birdie happened to reach out to me and say you know, I know somebody that's really struggling. They could use your help. And he showed up and announced and did it. But well, so this was.
Speaker 3:You know, this puts us both in a very vulnerable position, right? I don't know who to trust and I don't know who this guy is and I don't know what he wants, and in the aftermath of experiencing loss, I didn't think I could trust anybody. Yeah, so we developed. The story goes on. We developed this relationship I ended up hiring the guy. He's an ex-Pirroly and was in prison, very bad guy. He was actually going out of this world. He was killed by suicide and death by cop. So that enough. If that doesn't scare the hell out of you Like I don't know what does, but scare the hell out of me, I mean. And not to mention, he's not a pretty sight and he's got lots of crazy tattoos and they're all over his face and you know you really can tell this is kind of a worn rug, a guy. He's seen his years. So we developed this friendship and I laid down the ground rules right away, like okay, if you're gonna work for me, this is the way it is, right away, have my guard up my walls. But he invited by them and he was so generous with his time. He showed up the weekly, he showed up every on time and he did the work and I developed a trust level with him so I would bring him ice tea and we'd sit on the porch and chat about life. And he apparently knew of my husband and we had some different things in common, or they had some different things in common, unfortunately.
Speaker 3:And my late husband actually suffered tremendously. He had a back surgery once and he suffered tremendously with migraine. So he did have a stint of addiction that kind of wove deep for a number of years with obiids and I see cotton specifically, and then later on a brief stint with cocaine. So that led him to the program and that's where we discovered we have this network of amazing people that truly are gonna be able to help in a way. So he got involved with AA and I got involved with Al-Anon for a lot of years and it worked really well for both of us.
Speaker 3:But Kevin, the ex-Perole guy, obviously he had been through the program as well and so when he reached out to me and he said I know your husband, I kind of had an idea why. What's the connection here? And then I realized that through the course of getting to know Kevin and hiring him independently and seeing the rehabilitation in his life and the spark in his eyes and he was cute. I'm a little biased, okay, I'm a photographer, right, so you know. But he would send me these pictures of eagles out in the woods and landing in a field and they were all blurry and crazy distorted, but he was so excited. He was excited to breathe life again and he was excited that God gave him another chance and that he was able to give back to people in ways that meant something to him. He was. We were sharing and breathing this life together, even though we were totally different people. And I realized after, through that process, that you know what, maybe we're not so different after all. All of us we're not so different after all. So Kevin was a pivotal moment in my life.
Speaker 3:He I ended up selling the home. Eventually, he ended up moving closer to his family across state lines and I thought we'd just keep in touch. You know, we became social media friends and that kind of thing. And one day I was on the phone chit-chatting away with another friend and she said well, since you know, well, since Kevin died, am I heart stopped? I just stopped, it just stopped. I mean, he was what do you mean? Kevin died. He said, yeah, he went out of this world. He checked out again, he decided to go back to his old ways and cross the threshold and they found him laying on the lawn. That devastated me, devastated me. To know that we were not so different after all and to see that he's no longer a part of this world anymore and breaks my heart. So yeah, I know that it was kind of long winded, but sorry about that.
Speaker 2:No, that's you know I when you you had sent me some information and I I saw I didn't understand that part of the story, but now it makes complete sense of who he was. Oh, my goodness, you know one of the things. I do want to make a correction. I think when I was reading your bio at the beginning I did say that you lived in storage units and pods. You lived out of them, not in them.
Speaker 3:So if I said that you didn't live in the storage unit.
Speaker 2:You know, one of the things that hit me what you were talking about, dana, was when you said that you and your daughter during the end of the house was definitely deaf deafening, definitely. How do you say that?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Silence was deafening. Silence was deafening in the house, and you guys made these moments, these happy moments, you know, dancing and singing Christmas songs in 365 days a year, and I think about that simple. And that's the thing. When I'm talking to somebody like you and having the privilege of, you know, interviewing you like this, I look for moments, or I look for the points that I can go. My God, that makes so much sense, you know, and I want to capture that for the audience. I mean, maybe it doesn't resonate with everybody, but I think it will for quite a few is think about those days.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when you're down, or those moments in life when you're down, and yesterday last week's guest talked about you know, the power of moments and think about how you can create these moments. It could be just putting on a song that you love, it can be dancing, it can be, you know, writing or going out and having a snowball fight with your kids, or something that lasts just a brief few moments. You know, yesterday I had a really odd, really an odd day, Dana. I had a really good morning. I get up at 5.15.
Speaker 2:I do my routine for about seven or two hours until about 7.15, and then I usually get ready a shower and then I start my day to coach and I did a podcast. Everything was going great and I read up to the grocery store, called my grocery order in and I called, went and picked it up and I got home and it was like I hit a black wall and I went down this deep rabbit hole, Like what happened to me? I was in. You know, I live alone and I'm like I felt down, almost depressed.
Speaker 2:I couldn't get out of it and I'm like what's wrong?
Speaker 3:What I did is I Welcome to this? Yeah, welcome to this. Have your deep, dark soul.
Speaker 2:I didn't do what you had just talked about creating a moment, a happy moment.
Speaker 2:And what happened is, all afternoon I sat kind of like what's the heck was wrong with me, and later, when I was really tired from one thing, I didn't sleep all night before. But I realized later on that I'm like I'm just going to lean into this, I'm just going to let myself feel this, whatever I'm feeling, this sadness, this loneliness, this dark moment, I'm just going to let myself feel it and stop fighting it. And then I, when I did that, I felt kind of, I felt at peace and then I went to bed. But I love the idea of, you know, just doing something almost silly to create a to break that mindset. Had I done that at you know, one or two o'clock, three o'clock in the afternoon, I would have had a completely different day For me. It's working out. I can go for a hike or a run or roll or something like that. I feel much better.
Speaker 2:But I didn't have the energy yesterday to do that. I did it in the morning anyway, so I was done with it. But I, I love that for everybody to think about. What can you do? That's kind of fun and silly for even just a few moments to break your break out of that little rut you're in and do it before you get too deep, because by the time I, by the time I realized I had to lean into it last night, I was too deep into it. I just kind of sat here, thankfully, around. I got to text my son. He called me a couple of times and we talked. That's good. And right around the time I was going to bed at seven o'clock, my daughter faced timey, and who was on the other line is little Jack, my, my grandson.
Speaker 2:And they were up in there. They were upstairs in the room that I sleep in and he was like grandpa nap, grandpa nap, and so he didn't talk, he just ran around. But it was just. That was like okay, that's all I need. I can go to bed now, so I love that. I love what you and your daughter did during that, during those difficult, dark, quiet moments.
Speaker 3:So we, we actually developed some sort of a routine too. You know, she, you know I think about all of out of all three of my kids, she's I've had the most impact and most time with her. So she has mini me and it is she's the one that's kind of heading off to law school. Under a thing, she likes the world on fire. You know, it's often so much fun for me to talk about her, but I, you know, I know that we, when we, because we know each other so intimately she see me literally at my worst and my best. You know she often picks up on the social cues that not a lot of people do. And for me, you know, it's just sometimes it's just a little, a little side eye, or we have this thing. You know she'll do a little side eye thing and kind of blink at me like you ready, you ready, and then we just break out into this random dance party thing. You know it's crazy and silly and it's ridiculous.
Speaker 3:And then another thing that my family had to witness over Christmas it's funny when your kids move out in a gone and now they're, you know, it's like that intention or that that connection intensifies the more you can't see them, the more ridiculous you are when you do see them. At least, that is a way for me. But so she walks through the door. It's Christmas and my entire family's here, all the kids and my youngest daughter walks through the door and we have this thing where we, you know, embrace a long, absorb each other's energy, hug, and it just feels so wonderful. Not to mention she's almost damn near six or 12.
Speaker 3:I'm only five, five, so she's five, 10, five, 10, and I have her something crazy. So you know she's hugging short little me, and you know she's often commenting about how short I am and I'm like I'm not that short. And then, you know, so we get the giggles out and she then that it begins she wraps one arm and it's tighter, and the other arm is tighter, and then her neck and her chin is literally pushed in the back of me and she's wrapping her body around me in weird ways, you know. And we have this thing where we all we both say it, you know must get closer, you know, and that's the one thing that we do. That's crazy. And the rest of us we just wrapped around like this. You know, two unnatural people shouldn't be, but you know, that's the kind of relationship I have with my daughter. We're just crazy and silly like that, and those are the things that we've created in our lives that have made a big difference you know, so you have a great experience, I mean, and I think that's the difference.
Speaker 3:Don't ask her to read the mom quote book, because she's saving that for my U, my eulogy someday. So just don't ask her that there's a lot of them.
Speaker 2:Well, I think that's the difference between you know, there are, you know, different types of people, and I was interested because I was looking at your Facebook this morning before I interviewed, before the talk today, because I wanted to, you know if there's anything sometimes people put quotes on there that I want to. You know, spotlight, and I was thinking of this. There was a on Sunday morning I think it was after the storm, or maybe it was Saturday morning, or I think it was Sunday morning. Actually, there was somebody on Facebook, some lady, who was asking can somebody it was a younger lady asking somebody hey, can somebody come over and help me shovel my car out? And you know, everybody's trying to shovel their own driveways.
Speaker 2:Now, right, and Paul, I don't even know who it was, it wasn't somebody that I'm a friend with, but I was told this story by somebody else I know, and they were watching and nobody was responding. So, like three hours ago, she goes oh God, I guess I'll just have to go out there and do it myself and I think about that. Oh yeah, thank you, like everybody else is doing. Then I looked at your Facebook from two days ago and it said yes, it was a picture of you of this, I think, a shovel in your hand. Yes, this shit is definitely for the birds. But, ladies, if I can single handedly do it, so can you. Don't give up. It might take a while, but go slow. Just plug into some great uplifting music, pipe it through and earbuds and rock and roll.
Speaker 2:And you had your head shoveling, and here's where I'm going with that. You talked about your grandparents. You know your grandfather giving your grandmother potato skins or potato peels to the horse and that's what made. And you have these stories and families and a lot of times it goes back two or three or four generations where you talk about the grit of the great, great great grandmother or the great, great great grandfather. I hope you know Dana, by the shit that you've gone through and how you've handled yourself through this, you know that you've created a legend out of yourself for your future grandchildren, for your grandchildren, your future grandchildren, great grandchildren, great, great and great, great, great grandchildren. Down the road they're going to be talking about grandma Dana, this lady who lived in Michigan and went through all this shit over and over one year. She had all this stuff happen to her and this is how she came out of it. I hope you realize the legacy you're creating.
Speaker 3:That actually just gave me. I have chills and goosebumps from head to toe and honestly, ryan, that's the best thing that anybody could ever acknowledge me for is you know, to have a life worth living, a legacy that I've left behind the stories, the way I made them feel Like that is my greatest accomplishment in joy in life. So, thank you, appreciate that.
Speaker 2:You are most welcome. I'm going to start from the bottom of my heart. All right, what's the wind for you? Man, my friend? What do you call it? You get up in the morning. What just lights you up? What do you say? I'm happy with this.
Speaker 3:Ah, okay. So here's another introspective answer for you. I guess I'm knowing that I'm genuinely leading people better than I found them, without the void of any expectations. I know that life can change in a heartbeat. I'm not on any rescue missions, I'm not attached to the results. I'm just a pawn in the story. Sometimes I'm the teacher, sometimes I'm the student. I'm just a pawn in the energy of life man. I'm continuing to believe that the most important parts of me are left behind. But I leave behind some day will be that the things that I love choose to remember me by, so that, for me, is a huge win.
Speaker 2:Well, that goes right into what we just said, that you're leaving that legacy with your family, but also with the people around you, the people you are sharing the earth with right now, at this time.
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah, I live it, I don't just talk it, I believe it.
Speaker 2:Well, I know on Facebook you always have a smile on your face, so you do exude this energy that's positive and going back to with Kevin showing up in your life that day when you were just down and coming just to cut your grass, how much of an impact it had. I do believe this. And 10 years ago, if you would have said manifestation or the book the Secret. A client bought me the book the Secret, probably 15 years ago and I read the first page and I threw it away. I said this is bullshit.
Speaker 1:I love it.
Speaker 2:What I said? This is cycle babble bullshit. I threw it down, Never read it, and then, over the course of years, I really got into the study of neuroscience. I love it and I think it's amazing how the brain works and how energy works, and I started reading that through. Scientists are talking about manifestation. They may not use the word, and sometimes they do, but they're talking about energy. Doesn't die either. You can't. Energy never dies, it just moves on, it changes form.
Speaker 3:It changes form.
Speaker 2:It changes form. What are people, what are thoughts, what are feelings? They're just forms of physical energy. And so I started getting into the manifestation and I read the Secret. I didn't really like the Secret. Actually, I read other books that were far better than the Secret. I read it and I thought, okay, it's not giving me much, it's a foundation. I, the foundation, was what I needed. It got me into the study. When I finally did read it, it got me into the field of it. So it was really important a regular book for me to read. But then I read other books on it and then went through some courses on it and I think that's what happened with you. You were putting out, during your darkest moments, you were still putting out some type of positive vibes, energy, and the universe was just answering you know, god? The universe was just answering and saying you know.
Speaker 3:I was just, I was working, I was put. I had to create the intention, give myself permission, make a choice and then create the intention that this is, this is actually something that I I want and I need, I desperately need you know. So I think that was, that was part of it. But you know, like you go with Kevin, that was. That was a complete oh shit. Be careful. What you wish for a moment you know later. Later I realized that we're just not so different after all. We're just two human beings with very, very different life. You know life circumstances and the way it turned out, but deep down inside, you know he was a human being too and he had been rehabilitated and all of that was you know. So does the universe have my back? Probably, yeah.
Speaker 2:I just to say you said people kept showing up at your lowest moments. I mean that's exactly the universe having your back and I can't. I can't do with you more. You know the pleasure, or the benefit, one of the many benefits of my career is I get to talk to people you know, not just in the podcast, obviously, but one-on-one, all day long, coaching and getting to know. You know tens of thousands of people over the past quarter century and of coaching, and I've realized, yeah, there, there, when you dissect it, we're not a lot. There's not a lot of difference between people. There really isn't. You can look at a homeless person or a wealthy person. You really break it down when you get it down to the kept keep asking the questions and get deeper and deeper and deeper. They have the same insecurities, the same fears, the same ambitions, they're just manifested differently.
Speaker 3:They, you know energy in different forms.
Speaker 2:It is. It's crazy how you know and when I've learned that it's, I was a very judgmental person. I really was, Probably until 10 years ago.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so was I.
Speaker 2:I don't even know 10 years ago and then I started really realizing what am I doing? I mean, that person is no, because when you start to talk to somebody, you really have an intimate conversation with somebody, no matter what your political, religious. It doesn't really matter the differences that you face on the outside or you share on the outside. It's what you are at the core. And at the core we are very, very, very similar people. We're very similar, we really are.
Speaker 2:I mean, I have people who on the outside look like they're extremely successful, happy, wealthy, great family and they're crying on the phone with me. Then I have people on the phone who are just. When you meet them, you think they're just down and out. Then you talk to them and they're just. They have a ton of ideas and they're intelligent and they're wise. They're not necessarily content where they are in their lives, but they have the confidence that they're going to get out of it and they have this ambition and drive. It's like you know what, down at the core we're also similar, we really are, and I wish the world could see that I don't know where you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, I think you can't make a change unless you recognize where you've been and who you are and how it's impacted or affected you. But there's a part of my life where probably the latter half of my marriage was I just became this robotic show of a woman walking through the day. Yeah, I was critical, I was judgmental. I didn't have any patients, I was untapped and didn't understand why can't I make life fit within the parameters of these boundaries that I accept for my life and their safe boundaries? But it all goes back to dissecting hey, are these my thoughts? Are they somebody else's? Is this what I truly want for my life? Is this mine to own or is this somebody else's to own? These are all the healing points that I had to walk through and work through in order to realize that, hey, you know what. I might be part of the problem right now, but I can also be part of the solution, and that starts with me.
Speaker 3:So that period of my life was definitely reflective of what you're talking about. I had an answer for everything. Everything made sense. I knew it all. I don't know it all. That's the biggest, I think. The older I get, the less I know.
Speaker 2:Well, I think what's powerful about your story, what I'm getting out of it, is so many people right now are having a difficult time in life, some in one way, shape or form, and they're saying to themselves you know, if and God hates me, or the universe hates me, or life's not fair. Why is this happening to me? And what you said, despite what happened to you during that time, you know, seven and a half years ago, and during that subsequent years and after, especially that first year after Bob's passing is that you really looked at and saw these people coming in your life and said, hey, the universe might actually have my back. I mean, that is the difference between a victim mentality and a survivor, thriver mentality. It really is.
Speaker 3:Right, and that was the cat. That was definitely the segue to opening up my eyes, to allow me to see brief glimpses of hope, the everyday, small little miracles that were occurring to me. But because I was already at my lowest point, I was finally able to see them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Right in that down. That's powerful. So yeah, I think a lot of times when life is going well you know it's the old windshield bug theory it's like when you're the windshield going on the highway, you don't really notice much. You know, you're just flying on the highway. When you're the wind, when you're the bugging, you get splattered by that windshield and all of a sudden you have to reflect, you have to look around or you can just fall off the windshield and die on the side of the highway.
Speaker 2:But that's a time in life when you really really can say, okay, maybe it's time, or maybe it's happened subconsciously or consciously times to notice the things that you never noticed before. When something really tragic happens, it is a difficult time to notice the good things in life, but it takes a certain person or it takes a certain personality, style or characteristic or thought pattern to really dissect that and say, okay, I have to find these what do you call them? Brief glimpses of hope out there. And they're there every day. They're there when things are going well, they're there when things are going poorly. We just don't see them. We don't because we don't look for them.
Speaker 3:You know, no, and that's well. It's one of the reasons I practice meditation in the morning, because it causes, you know, it teaches me to be mindful. So I start my morning like that, with coffee and meditation, and that's the one thing. It's a practice Like this is something I have to really work at and it wasn't easy in the beginning. It's getting a lot easier now. You know there's alpha beta waves. You know they talk about REM sleep or whatever.
Speaker 3:From a neurological perspective, that it's the same way when you're awake and you're conscious, but you're not conscious.
Speaker 3:But it teaches me to be very mindful of noticing just the simple things and things that wow. You know, in a in a in a different world, everybody would walk right by and and I often say, well, it's the same way. That might work too. You know, like you know, I may see things entirely different with the clients that I work with in the world of photography and they may have driven by that place or that spot or they've seen that a hundred thousand times in the course of their life, but when they see it captured in an image, the way I capture it, they are looking at it through a new lens. It's the same thing. It's the same thing. You know we have to wait. We wake up and we teach ourselves to be mindful in the moments that matter, and then pretty soon becomes a practice, and you're looking at things, so these things become joy and these things roll into the next and you start to not just say it but believe it.
Speaker 2:I agree and I think we have to be mindful about it? You do, and I think right now in our society we are bombarded on media and social media with so much negativity that we then see negativity everywhere we are. That's why I recommend everybody do not watch the news, do not watch corporate media. Just stay off social media as much as you can. Don't get in political.
Speaker 3:I checked out 15 years ago. Yeah, I did too.
Speaker 2:I don't have any media, any corporate media.
Speaker 3:I don't either.
Speaker 2:I'm on my TV at all. I don't watch it one bit. The people who watch it are usually the most happy people I know. But you know, one of the things I always share is you know if you, when you're leaving work today or we're driving today, count all the blue cars that you see and then write it down and the next day count all the yellow cars that you see the next day and ask yourself, when I was counting blue cars that I see any yellow cars, the answer will always be no. When I was counting yellow cars that I see any blue cars, the answer will always be no.
Speaker 3:And the thing is, I tell them all that you want to see.
Speaker 2:Yeah, those blue cars and yellow cars were there every day driving to and from work. You just never saw them. So you always notice what you look for and then when you look for it more and more and more, then you start seeing it more and more and more. It's like when you buy a new vehicle, you buy a new Bronco. What do you see? Everybody has a Bronco and you see all the Broncos in town. You don't really see the other cars. You buy a new Jeep Cherokee, rancherokee you see all the Rancherokees in town. It just happens that way.
Speaker 2:And if we can use that with things like positivity, looking for kindness in people, looking for the beauty of the sky you know the, the, the, the, the sun glistening off, the snow, I mean those kind of things especially if you can practice it, practice kindness to people, and then you start seeing the kindness that's given back to you. It's just, it's it's such a simple fix for society and that's why we do this podcast maybe make one or two people make a little change that can then spread out to the rest of the world. And that's what you're doing today. But I do have one final question for you. We're going to take my little time machine. I'm going to shoot down to lower Michigan today. We're going to get in it. You're going to go back to a younger version of yourself. I don't care how young you are, you pick an age and you're going to give yourself words of wisdom, recipes for success, advice, whatever it is. What would you say to your younger self, dana?
Speaker 3:Okay, how much time do you have? All right, I'll retract my bill.
Speaker 2:You're about, I'm on.
Speaker 3:You're on my bill, I'm on my bill. Okay, I'm on my bill.
Speaker 2:This is my bill. I'm on my bill. Okay, I'm on my bill. This is my bill, okay.
Speaker 3:I'm on my bill. This is my bill. Okay, I'm on my bill. This is my bill. Okay, that's the point of my day. The point of my day and my time where I feel like I'm most vulnerable, and I'm talking to the young woman that I used to be. I would tell her that you're beautiful, despite what self-destructive messages are playing through your head. You've got to silence the critic. You've got to work hard at it. Not everything is as it seems. I promise. Even some of the most horrendous things that you'll experience in life have silver linings and they're here to bless you greatly later, but mostly in ways that you can't even imagine.
Speaker 3:Top six cycles are definitely meant to be broken. You've got to be brave. You've got to break them. You've got to find the inner strength to work through everything that you're these challenges. They don't come to pass their opportunities. Get in the here and now.
Speaker 3:I would tell that young woman that you're a student, but eventually you'll become the teacher, and that this role is always interchangeable. So be humble and accept that this is a learning process. I would gosh. There's so many other things. The A plus B equals C.
Speaker 3:I've already talked about that, but this life will change. It does have key players in it and the ones that you love and you value and you feel safe and secure with it changes. It's okay, you'll be okay and the life is definitely and I know this is how it's cliche, but life is about the journey, it's not the destination. I would love to tell that young girl that you're gonna make all the mistakes and you're gonna experience a lot of triumphs beyond your greatest imaginations, but ultimately you'll have a life that you've truly lived, and there's no greater tragedy than watching a living person die slowly, than actually die and leave an unfinished life behind. Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all mostly small stuff. Life is a day at a time. There's no other guarantees than the one we live in. Aside from that, all bets are off.
Speaker 2:Wow, I couldn't even write all that down. That was great. I'm going to have to get off the type of the transcripts from today's show.
Speaker 3:Okay, those are my clients. Oh, thank you, thank you. Those are my closing thoughts on that, but I've done a lot of work. I do this self-reflection daily. It's hard, Sometimes I have to question myself, but these are some of the biggest things, the biggest takeaways I've seen.
Speaker 2:Now I'm going to be 57 in two months Every year is better than a year before.
Speaker 3:No one wants the age. I used to look at it, all right, it's all good. I didn't think I minded aging until now.
Speaker 2:When I'm watching movies, I always say I'll Google a person. How old is that person? I was watching, I was watching. I think it was last time I was watching. What the hell was I watching? I can't think of the actor. Oh my gosh. I was like how old is that person? I Google it was 54. Oh no, they were 56. They were exactly my age. They were too much younger than I am. I'm like that person still got a lot of spunking. They're just starting out. I'm like, hey, I still got a lot of time, so it must bother me a little bit.
Speaker 2:I don't think of age that much, but it must bother me to say I do Google all these actors' ages all the time. God, I can't think of the show I was watching.
Speaker 3:Anyway, I don't know, I think progressively I don't know Ben do this as well but I think women, progressively, are ultimately trying to silence that inner critic like what comes with age and what happens, and where will I go and who will I be, and am I at a place in my life I wanted to be, that benchmark thing. That's critical, that's hard. That's hard when you don't think that you've gotten to where you want to be but you're still low, then life at date of time, because that's all we're ever guaranteed. So I try and silence that critic too.
Speaker 2:The one thing I've learned, though, dana, in my life, talking to so many amazing people in my career, is that nobody thinks they are where they want to be. Nobody believes they're where they want to be. They always think they're not at the benchmark they thought they would be at, no matter where they are, so it's all relative, but nobody thinks they're where they should be. That's so crazy because they might be somewhere more financially, often other people but then emotionally they're stuck somewhere, or their marriage isn't stuck somewhere, or their health is stuck somewhere.
Speaker 3:And it's not a competition or race. It's just a way. It's not a competition or race. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm exactly where I need to be, where I'm supposed to be and when I'm supposed to be, and all of this is designed and orchestrated in a way that unfolds and plays out in my life for my benefit and for others.
Speaker 2:I agree and I think if you could ask yourself the question for anybody is if you were the only person on this earth, would you be happy where you are right now? Nobody to compare to no other, no cynics, no critics out there, no skeptics, no other person's input. If there was nobody else on this earth to judge you or to be judged you judge yourself against would you be happy where you are? Most people would say yeah, I'd be pretty happy, because unhappiness comes from our judgment of where we are in comparison to others in one area. But we don't realize we live in a multitude of areas of life and we judge people on the one that we think we're weakest at. But their weakness is our strength and they're judging themselves on our strength against their weakness and it's just like it's just this.
Speaker 3:Never ending cyclical. It's a never ending cyclical. It's crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all right, my friend, we're ready to wrap up. I just I can't thank you enough. This was one of the most heartwarming stories or chats I've had on this podcast, and this is episode 111.
Speaker 3:And oh my gosh, no way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is a hundred and twelve. But when we had to delete for security purposes of the person's, their family member was in the military and they couldn't some top secret mission, they had to take everything off. So we're technically 112, it's 112th interview, but it's 111 show that we show on the podcast. So, yeah, and I just the moment that it struck me that this was so heartwarming is when you were talking about that year after Bob passed on and it was like okay, this is the woman who's leaving a legacy for her family, Like this is the woman that they're gonna tell stories about down the road. And I think that the greatest thing a person can possibly do on this planet is to leave a legacy of honor and strength and great courage and love to their family members.
Speaker 2:And you've done that, my friend, you're doing it.
Speaker 3:Thank you, Thank you. I really appreciate that, Ryan. That means the world to me.
Speaker 2:Well, I just thanks for coming on today. I know you're busy. I appreciate you taking the time and thank you for being such an amazing guest on the Bamboo Lab podcast, dana.
Speaker 3:Oh, you're welcome. You're so welcome. Thank you for the opportunity, Brian. It's been a pleasure.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you. All right, everybody in the Bamboo Pack. I do wanna leave you today, but before I do, I wanna share something that I shared at the beginning, because I think this is a perfect way to segue into the wrap up here. When Dana emailed me this morning well, last night she's a late night person, not a good morning person I got it when I woke up In the quote that I started the episode with the show with opportunities come to pass, not to pause.
Speaker 2:Through each of these experiences, I've made the choice to become a survivor, not a victim by circumstance, but it started with a conscious choice and I've learned to appreciate, grow and find the silver linings. Because of them, I'm finally able to forgive others and take accountability for my life and I'm able to love me. Perfect way to end it everybody. Hey, thank you for tuning in today. I appreciate each and every one of you. I hope you know how much the growth of this podcast is all due to all of you out there and to the amazing guests. I'll see you in a week. In the meantime, please get out there and strive to give and be your best. Please show love and respect to others and back to yourself, and please, by all means, live intentionally. I love and appreciate each and every one of you.