The Bamboo Lab Podcast
"Ordinary people doing extraordinary things!"
The Bamboo Lab Podcast
Ray Phillips: "Leave the Table Hungry"...How to Create a Life of Purpose and Impact at Any Age
Hello and welcome to the Bamboo Lab Podcast with your host, peak Performance Coach, brian Bosley. Are you stuck on the hamster wheel of life, spinning and spinning but not really moving forward? Are you ready to jump off and soar? Are you finally ready to sculpt your life? If so, you've landed in the right place. This podcast is created and broadcast just for you, all of you strivers, thrivers and survivors out there. If you'd like to learn more about Brian and the Bamboo Lab, feel free to reach out to explore your true peak level at wwwbamboolab3.com.
Speaker 2:Welcome everyone to this week's episode of the Bamboo Lab Podcast. As always, I'm your host, brian, and I got to tell you. A couple of weeks ago I got a Facebook message from a friend of mine and she said hey, we worked with this author and we'd love to have you interview him on your show. And I get a lot of those and a lot of times they don't turn out what I'm expecting. Sometimes they do, you luck out. So anyway, I right away reached out to this particular gentleman and we had a good conversation on the phone a few days later and I've been so excited and I told one of my clients this morning I'm so excited for today's interview.
Speaker 2:We have a gentleman on today that has worn many hats in his career. I mean, he's a retired senior Air Force officer. He was a CEO of an information IT company, he was a pilot now soon to be retired commercial airline pilot. He is an author and is a PhD in organizational and industrial psychology. I mean, that's five lifetimes for most people right there. So, without further ado, my new friend, ray Phillips. Welcome to the Bamboo Lab podcast.
Speaker 3:Well, brian, thank you so much, and I'm just very excited to be here.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, ray, we had a good conversation several days ago and we got to know each other a little bit. Of course, we were able to talk before we recorded today, but can you please share with the Bamboo Pack out there a little bit about yourself, where you're from, your family, and we'll go from there?
Speaker 3:You bet. Yeah, I'm a Colorado native, believe it or not, born in Denver, raised north of Denver in a small town called Loveland, ended up going to the United States Air Force Academy for college and then was in the Air Force for 23 years as a pilot, and I'm very fortunate. I've been on every continent, I've traveled the world and just seen some amazing things, retired from the Air Force after 23 years and helped a guy run a small IT services company and just a really kind of a startup, and we grew that company in seven years to something pretty significant and that was very enlightening. And what I didn't tell you is, growing up in Colorado, my grandparents lived near the old Denver Stapleton Airport and when I would visit them as a young person they would take me to the airport. They asked what I wanted to do and I said I'd love to go to the airport and we'd go to a place called the Red Baron Lounge and have lunch and I could watch airplanes take off and land. And so I got the bug early on and was fortunate enough to fly in the military and stayed flying in general aviation while I helped run a small IT services company. But then my passion was to come back to do that.
Speaker 3:So I just am about to finish a 12-year career as an airline pilot and have just adored flying. I was telling somebody today you know it's embarrassing and they said you shouldn't be embarrassed. But it's embarrassing when somebody says, well, how long have you been flying? And I used to, you know, 15 years ago I say, oh yeah, I've been flying for 28 years and I felt really proud about that. Well, now it's over 40. And so 40 makes me sound very mature and I fly with a lot of new first officers that I could take 40 and cut it in half and add two or three, and that would be about how old they are. So I'm I'm blessed because I I get to be in a mentorship and share some of that knowledge with them, but I've just enjoyed all the different things that I've been fortunate enough to get the opportunity to do and then.
Speaker 2:So I I know this, but the audience doesn't know this that you are on this. I'm going to call it your final flight right now, or not right now, but this next few days, right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, in fact it's kind of a neat thing so what you do as you approach that, and for me it's a mandatory retirement at age 65. So my birthday is on the 12th of June, so it's not too far away. It's nine days from today, and so I've got a last trip set up. And what is really kind of a neat tradition is, as you get ready for your final flight, they'll do a celebration, a gate celebration, and so I've had a wonderful day today because I flew from Phoenix to Denver. I got to the gate in Denver and we had a water cannon ceremony, where two fire trucks are on each side of the airplane arching water over the airplane as it pulls into parking, and I had my family and friends and everybody out there, and so it is the culmination, in a perfect way, of that aviation career.
Speaker 3:And I tell other people, you know the three things I've done the military, the CEO and this I've always left the table hungry. I certainly would love to do more, but've always left the table hungry. I certainly would love to do more, but I'm leaving the table hungry in each case and that's a good thing to do.
Speaker 2:Well then, you went on to become an author. You've been writing, I know so. As everybody knows, ray has written two books so far. One is called the Joy of Leadership yes, finding Joy in Leadership. Finding Joy in Leadership, yeah. And Finding Joy in your Golden Years, which is your newest book, isn't it? That's correct.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the story of the authorship is a little bit of a kind of an explanation of how I got there. Everybody's seen the movie Forrest Gump, and one day Forrest just started running and then he ran and ran and ran and his beard got longer and then one day he just stopped, and that's kind of what happened to me. When I was about 45. I decided I would run a marathon and, and so I trained for that Excuse me and then I ended up running that marathon, not doing as well as I wanted to do, but deciding that I could do better. And so for the next 10 years pretty much from 2004 till 2014, I was running marathons, up to almost four to five a year and out there running 40 miles a week, and I share that only because when you do that, you do a lot of thinking. And so during those training, runs and to include marathons, I would just think about things that were interesting to me and I got to thinking, gosh, I should write a book. And so I would start writing a book, and I was primarily focused initially on leadership, because I was fascinated as to why some organizations do so well and some don't do so well, and why some were synergistic and some were not synergistic, and I've always been fascinated by the concept of synergy. I think it's an amazing thing because when you see it or when you've tasted it, you long for it every time you get the chance to experience it again.
Speaker 3:So I had written a couple chapters and I came back from a run, a training run, and I was sharing with my wife that I was going to write a book and the reality of it is is I just couldn't get past a couple chapters and I was just didn't think I had the ability. So this went on for a while and one day I shared again with her my concerns and frustrations. She said well, you should go back to school. So I ended up going back and getting my PhD in industrial and organizational psychology and the collateral benefits of that, the rigors of going through that, made me a better thinker, made me a better writer and helped me get through that first book.
Speaker 3:And what I'm really proud about in that first book is, as we mentioned, the title is Finding Joy in Leadership, but the subtitle, which is really the most important title, is by Developing Trust you Can Count On, and during my PhD research I came up with a process for building trust that explains why some organizations are synergistic and why some organizations are not, why some are successful and why others are not. And so really delighted by that. And then that sparked me into the next book, after that book had done. Very well, I'm approaching retirement, so I thought what better way of therapy for myself than to write a book about how to discover joy in your golden years? And and uh, and so that was the impetus of that book.
Speaker 2:Well, I know both books are five-star rated on Amazon, so I'm really looking forward to you know I don't. I can't quite admit, ray, that I'm ready for my golden years, but I am excited about reading Finding Joy in Leadership. I really am. I looked at that, read the reviews and looked at the context of it. I'm like, yeah, that's my next read after I finish Marshall Goldsmith's book that I'm reading right now. So you wear kind of a lot of hats, obviously, but professionally you've worn five major hats I look at it this way with the Air Force and the CEO, and then you know, commercial airline pilot, author and then PhD. What or who inspired you growing up to kind of grab all these different angles and actually do very, very well at all of them?
Speaker 3:Well, I appreciate that question because I think it is an important question for all of us to think about. You know what motivates us? And I had a unique circumstance growing up my dad was in the Navy, had gone to medical school but decided not to be a doctor, and then was a chemist but unfortunately died at the age of 35. And I'm a middle kid and so I have an older sister and a younger brother, and when my dad would go to work he'd always look at me and he'd say OK, ray, you're the man of the house, you take care of your mom and your brother and sister. And so I was only nine years old when that happened. But it's interesting to me and I bring it up because I think it was impactful the fact that he said he charged me with taking care of my mom and my brothers and sisters at an early age kind of imparted on me that it was really important to do that and important to make sure that you did the best that you could do to provide and take care of those people. And so that certainly was influential and that's a very serious story. But let me go to a counter story. That's very influential as well. So I was a big basketball player growing up and that was, in fact, my sport. And so, while the listeners may think well, that's really honorable Ray that you were the man of house and took care of your brothers and sisters and mom, what I'm about to tell you will let you know how normal I am and how flawed I am. And so, as a basketball player, I got a big head and I thought it was about me.
Speaker 3:I was a pretty good athlete and in fourth grade, um, when I was playing there, I was at a Catholic school and I got to play in fourth grade and I had a coach, a man named Bob Miles, and, uh, I had a bad attitude. I just did, I was prideful, I thought things were for me and not for the team. And I remember one day were for me and not for the team. And I remember one day Bob Miles sat me down in the gym on a lunch bench and told me that this was not about me and that if I couldn't change my attitude, I no longer needed to be on that team, that I needed an attitude adjustment and that the greatest gift was in giving and not receiving and thinking that things were about you rather than thinking about what you could do for others. So that was pretty significant, and that was in fourth grade and um.
Speaker 3:So my dad empowering me, bob miles, giving me a reality check, and then my gift, my true gift, was a man named charles smith, who I was fortunate enough in my teenage informative years. I ended up mowing his lawn and digging post holes and doing all the manual labor stuff. And they had two young boys younger than me, six years younger and I think, eight years younger, and my sister, my older sister used to babysit in the neighborhood and that's how she earned her pay, no-transcript. And so one day Charles Smith came up to me, my next-door neighbor, and he said, hey, do you babysit? And I go, I don't know, I'll find out and let you know. So I went home and I talked to my mom and I said, hey, mom, charles wants to know if I babysit. I don't know if I babys or not. And she said, well, you could, you could. What is? You know how old are the kids, all that stuff.
Speaker 3:So, long story short, I ended up taking care of his kids and really mentoring. He mentored me and collaterally I was able to be a big brother to them and he was so important in my formative years. He's the reason. If I really narrowed it down, brian Charles told me one day he said, ray, attitude is everything and I internalized that. And so thank you for the comments on five different roles, but five different roles have just been a blessing, because I truly believe that attitude was everything, that it was, that it was a privilege to get to do these different things and that hopefully I could make a difference in others' lives by my attitude and, you know, hopefully help them as they helped me.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 2:So right now I'm going to ask you some questions about your books Okay, because I really want to get into those.
Speaker 2:About your books, um, cause I really want to get into those. Um, now, as I said, I'm a little more interested in the leadership one, but I know there's a lot of people out there who are going into those golden years of life and that's there's a lot of wisdom you've you've acquired in actually you kind of going through that with looking at your career, um, commercial airlines coming to a tail end as well as, um, you know, doing the research you've got on the book. I want to ask you, because I want to give a shout out right now to two people Simon and Lorena from Simon Golden LLC were really instrumental in helping you get that second book written, and they were the ones who referred you to me and I've gotten to know them when I was living in Grand Rapids. So can you tell us a little bit about the experience Maybe spend 30 seconds giving them a shout out and how that process worked for you, because I too am curious about using somebody to help me get my book taken care of.
Speaker 3:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:I had mentioned to you before we started our podcast, and I think it's worth sharing again, that I had written a book and I did not have a book coach, and so I felt like you know I could do this again and just like anything, the more you do it, the better you're going to get.
Speaker 3:But Simon has an incredible marketing plan and, quite honestly, lorena is really behind a lot of that and so he reached out to me and on LinkedIn, I believe and so we started a conversation and just really interesting talking to him and he just has a proven process for making books interesting, readable, compelling, and he has the reader in mind. He clearly understands what readers are looking for and he doesn't keep an author from producing what they want to produce. What he does is he allows the author to produce what they want to produce and make it so readable and so enjoyable that that the book will will most likely enjoy great success because of that. So absolutely Couldn't be more pleased if I and I probably will write another book and if I do, I absolutely work with with Simon and Lorena again.
Speaker 2:Well, good. So anybody out there who's an executive or an industrial leader who's looking to write a book maybe you don't know how, you don't know how to put the words to paper, you can't seem to find the time please click on, go to simongoldencom and research what they have to do, because I can tell you I've not used them, but I've heard, obviously, from you, great things and I know them as individuals. They are top-notch people, so shout out to Simon Golden LLC. Okay, so you're writing this last book and you were writing this book, ray, knowing that you're going into those golden years yourself and you're like I said, your airline career was kind of tailing down to where you are now, going on to your next phase. What were some of the great learnings you learned in researching the book and writing the book?
Speaker 3:Well, what really was the catalyst for me to be curious about it and to then do the research was I was all too frequently hearing people say that, oh my gosh, you know, I know what you're feeling. My dad retired two years ago and you know he was a big executive and now he just doesn't feel like he has purpose anymore. He kind of feels lost. Or my mom, you know, is just, you know, she was a doctor, an MD, and she's just remarkable, but we're just not sure what she's going to do with her time. I thought that's really interesting and then I could completely relate, I could empathize, because I go whoa and purpose is a big deal and feeling relevance huge. And so I did a lot of research and it ends up that there's studies out there that basically say and it's not a huge number, but it's more than the average it says almost 56% of people retiring don't have a plan for how they're going to spend their time. Now, most people are just phenomenal about financial planning because that's an expected practice and you work so hard so that you have the freedom to do what you want to do when you retire. But isn't it ironic you have that freedom to do what you want to do when you retire. But isn't it ironic, you have that freedom but you may not have a plan. And so after doing the research I just said, well, what are the components here? And just to kind of highlight those briefly, is it's fascinating that in our formative years, in junior high school and high school, we're really trying to figure out who we are and we're really curious about that. And in junior high and high school we're really trying to figure out who we are and we're really curious about that. And in junior high and high school we start doing that. Then we go off to college, and now we're refining that a little bit and we're starting to figure out who we are. And then we pick a major. Everybody wants to know what your major is, because they want to know what you're going to do, and you may not know. And so you eventually pick something.
Speaker 3:You get into the workplace, and now you haven't finished the process of figuring out who you are, but you know what to say when somebody says what do you do? Because what we say is what our work is. And so now we become defined by our work. And so the first step in this, in this discover joy in your golden years is. Really understanding is is figuring out who you are, deciding who you are, your values, principles and character, and then, through reflection and figuring that out and writing it down for yourself and it may not be complete, in fact it won't be complete till the day we die. We're ever evolving but what that does is that helps me understand what's important to me, because when you finish working in the professional realm now it's you, it's totally just you. Now it's you, it's totally just you. So who are you and what's important to you? And after you figure that out, then you can say well, based on all my life experiences and expertise, the things I've done in my life, where would I best fit in? Knowing who I am, where would I feel like I would best fit in? Maybe it's volunteering, Maybe it's consulting, maybe it's teaching at a university, where is that? So it's some taste tests to do that, and so, again, that's a little bit of experimentation, but, as opposed to just not knowing, it gives you a path and the reader, through journaling in this book, decides that for themselves.
Speaker 3:And then, once you've decided that purpose, then it's about setting goals for continued growth. You know, so many people feel that retirement is the end. You know, and it's and I love a quote that God gave me one time he goes, don't ever peak, right. And I said, really, you don't ever peak, he goes. No, because the minute you peak it's only downhill from there, and you don't want to peak, you want to continue to grow and realize new potential.
Speaker 3:And then all of this then leads to where I think joy resides, and in your golden years, which could be absolutely unequivocally the best years of your life. Joy resides in your ability to impact the relationships in your life and impact those around you by how you participate in your communities, neighborhoods, et cetera. And it's interestingly enough and there may be some pushback from people hearing this, but I think, if you think about it, you may agree it's no longer about the compensation you get for the things you do, but it's about the rewards you get for the things you give, how we help those people around us, how baby boomers can help Generation X to continue the transition and help the millennials be even more successful, who are taking over more and more management roles. And Generation Z what do we have to contribute for their success? So that's a very long answer to a short question, but I think that's the impetus I think it's fantastic.
Speaker 2:I think it's fascinating. I never really thought about roles shifting as we get older until the last few years of my life, as I've gotten older. Coincidentally, on Sunday, one of my best friends, kevin, sent me. Every Sunday he sends me a video saying this is what I had for breakfast today, and this was an art. It was a video, I didn't care. It was a interview, but it was on video format. I listened to the first 20 minutes of it and then we went off for a hike so I didn't get to finish, but it was a PhD, it was at Harvard professor, I believe it was, and he's a specialist in aging and he talked about and this is just just again 20 minutes of me doing this while I'm taking a cold shower, so you know, in brushing my teeth. So I was.
Speaker 2:I didn't get a chance to sit down and take notes but something to the effect of when we are younger, our brains are more accustomed and more designed to build something, and it is. It isn't that we lose our motivation when we get older. It's that our brain literally changes to some degree where the building of the thing that we were always trying to accomplish I call it our ambitions in life changes now to more of an aspirational aspect. It's now how can you impact others around you, how can you mentor and coach and influence other generations, which I call that more of an aspirational approach to life. But he said it's biological too. Our brains literally do change and we find that when we're.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm 58 years old. I remember when I was 29 years old, starting my business, I had the plans to build the world's largest coaching and consulting firm, and really that was never a really important thing to me, but I thought my brain was telling me that's what you have to do. And it's over the past couple of years. A friend of mine another one of my best friends, dave out of Texas, said you know, brian, you are not designed to build an empire, your brain is designed to build the people who build the empires. And I thought, man, that's so true. And the thing is, though, ray, for so much of my career I was trying to build the empire, which was really swimming against the current, because it was never the way my brain was designed anyway, it was to build the minds that build the empires.
Speaker 2:And once he said that it kind of clicked in me like okay, and that's the beauty of having conversations with people that you don't they're just either friends or acquaintances or some stranger like you mentioned last week on the phone call, some stranger on the airplane that you talked to. They can give you an idea that, if you're listening, can take you in a new direction that you've never thought of. That maybe a hired mentor, coach or a psychologist or a therapist who couldn't really do. It's something we those are good too, but we have to be looking for messages that people that are just saying things that just resonate with you. You know, and I'd like you to tell I think you told me a story about something on a woman on an airplane, or you gave me an example of how you find that you can connect with leaning into any conversation you can find something to make your life and other lives better. Was there a story behind that or were you just giving that as an example when we talked last week?
Speaker 3:No, that's actually a story and, believe it or not, it's in the first book, finding Joy in Leadership, and the way the story goes is that I commute to Phoenix. I live in Colorado, but I commute to Phoenix. That's where I start my trips out of, so I'm in the back of an airplane quite often getting to work, and so I sit back there and I'm fascinated by people and you watch people as they get on the airplane, and we all do this.
Speaker 3:You know, if you, if you have a row to yourself and you're on the aisle seat, you don't want to make eye contact with anybody coming down the aisle because you think they might get in your row, you know those other two seats that you don't want anybody to occupy. And I just watched that and I was fascinated by that and then finally I said no, that's not the case. I said you know what? I wonder? I bet if I struck up a conversation with anybody, anybody on this airplane, to include those people, when you're sitting in the aisle seat and you look and you go, oh boy, I wonder, I hope they don't sit next to me. What if you changed your attitude and said, boy, how cool would it be if they sat next to me. I wonder what I could learn from them. So it's a mindset and I found and I proved it that if I sat next to anyone, anyone that got on board the airplane, anyone, I could learn something from them that would make my life better. And I hope and pray that I could share something with them that would make my life better. And I hope and pray that I could share something with them. That would make their life better.
Speaker 3:And the way this story goes was I sat down next to this wonderful young lady and she was part Native American, she grew up on the West Coast and if you all did any of the listeners, or brian, if you did an analysis, just an assessment, you say, okay, well, let me try to describe ray's attributes and what perhaps some of his values and principles and beliefs are, and you categorize those. And then you, you took a look at this other person, you did the same. You would probably, probably gather that maybe we're on different poles, different spectrums. Well, guess what she shared with me? We were talking about healing and this, by the way, was during the COVID times, and we were talking about healing. And from her Native American experiences, she held out her right hand. I was sitting on her right side, she held out her right hand and it sitting on her right side. She held out her right hand and it was in a fist, a clenched fist, and she said, ray, it my native american ancestors believe that the power of healing was in your hand and all you had to do was open your hand and release it. And so, if you picture that and if you picture a clenched fist, you can see the tension in the fist and you go gosh, there's a lot of tension in that fist, it's so clenched and so perhaps to get rid of that tension, what I need to do is relax my hand and open up my fingers so that it's no longer clenched and release that tension and that illustration that she gave me and it really went beyond the tension, it went beyond a belief and it was deeper, certainly than that.
Speaker 3:But I use that example in my first book because there's so many times that we're in our own way, we're creating beliefs or tensions that are of our own doing, and perhaps, if we want to make a difference in the things that matter, we just need to release that tension and open up our perspective, open up our aperture to look at things from a different point of view. And I just thought that was remarkable and I cited her in the book and I told her I would. I said, if you don't mind, I'd like to use this in my book. And she said, of course. And so the point is what a beautiful thing. What if we viewed everyone, everyone to include?
Speaker 3:Again, I spent time in the airport. I never, and please, I'm not saying any of this for any gratification of me. I'm saying it to make the point but I'm not saying any of this for any gratification of me. I'm saying it to make the point that I never miss the opportunity to thank the person cleaning the bathrooms because, gosh, if I got to talk to them, they'd probably share something with me that would make my life better, and I hope I could do the same for them. And there's just a lot of people out there that that are invisible or feel invisible, and we need to make sure they know they are visible. Make sure they know they are visible, and you can even. Not only is that good for the soul and it is but it's also designed to make your life better, because there's clues out there. We'll just open up our aperture and try to find them.
Speaker 2:That's beautiful. You and I talked last week. We were on this subject for a few moments and one of the things that I thought of well, I've thought of this before as I, in some of my coaching relationships, I work on seeing people in a third dimension. I do believe when we go through life, whether we're at the store, at a hotel, traveling on a plane, a train, wherever we are, we do see people two-dimensionally, you know, up down sideways and that's what we see. But when you get to see, you get to spend some time talking with them in a healthy, you know, mutual good, just a good solid conversation, you see beyond what you see. You see that you see into the depth of them and you see them in a third dimensionally. Now it's like putting 3d glasses on, and I remember one time I read a book, uh, and now I'm gonna have to and I've had um, gwendolyn bounds, wendy bounds on the podcast twice.
Speaker 2:She wrote. She's written a couple of fantastic books, um, little chapel on the river, I think was her first book. Um, and I hope I'm saying that right. I've read it twice. Um, and it was a book about she and her partner. When they, when 9-11 hit, they had their apartment and their apartment was destroyed. So they went up to up river or upstate New York and they just stopped at this little tavern, little Irish bar, and ended up staying there for quite a while I mean in the in the community and would go in this bar and just got to know all the characters in the bar, all the people, and she wrote this book about them. And I remember I'm thinking, oh, my goodness, how many times have I driven by a tavern or a school or an office building or whatever it might be, and just drive by not realizing the life that goes on behind those doors.
Speaker 2:And I remember, after I finished the book, ray, I was driving to the Grand Rapids airport to fly out somewhere for work. And I remember driving by kind of a wetlands area on Patterson Avenue in Grand Rapids, michigan, on the way to the airport. And there was a wetlands area and I looked at it thinking, okay, here's another example. All the life forms that are in that wetlands the frogs, the fish, the birds, the weas, know the weasels, the groundhogs, whatever the muskrats, and how we. That was just an example of how many times we just go through life not seeing anything beyond what we see in front of us. We don't look to. You know, our peripheral vision is very weak and we don't look to our right and to our left and up and down, and we don't explore those other avenues of life, those relationships, those other communities, those other cultures, whatever it might be. And when you do, and you do it with an open heart and an open mind there's so much power to that and four years ago you never would have convinced me of that.
Speaker 2:Well, the book was the catalyst when I read Gwendolyn Bounds Wendy Bounds' book. But it was really the start of this podcast thinking how many amazing people You're. The 145th episode in three and a half years of this show and every person I have learned something from and many of them have become really good friends of mine, people I'd never heard of prior to interviewing them. And I'm like everybody has a story. Every single human being has a story that we could learn from, we could teach them, they can teach us and we can make the world a better place by the story, experience and wisdom that they have in their brains, and I think that's so powerful. I loved, when you were saying that last week, that story of the lady on the plane. You know it's interesting.
Speaker 2:I noticed, ray, like four or five years ago I was having a hard time sleeping and I noticed that my hands were balled up and like not clenched fists, but they were balled up and I just opened them up. And so almost every night I have to consciously open my fingers up and let them relax, and it's instantaneous for me anyway. I get more relaxed and that's how I fall asleep. So, to play on what she said about healing, and I think that just also it's symbolic of opening up your heart and opening up your mind, yes, and opening your eyes. Well said, totally agree. I want to ask you so the finding joy in leadership. You had mentioned a concept when we talked on the phone prior about mutual accountability. Yes, can you talk on that subject for the leaders and executives and managers out there, or really anybody raising kids as a form of leadership?
Speaker 3:Absolutely, and I really do think this was the biggest nugget from my PhD research research. So, pure accountability, if we visualize that it's basically from a supervisor to an employee saying, okay, so, brian, I work for you. So you would say to me, okay, ray, do you understand your job description? And I say, yes, yeah, brian, I think I do, I think I do. And you say, okay, good, well, that's what we expect and we're happy to have you on board. So that's typical accountability. If you pictured it in your mind. In a way, it's kind of from the supervisor down arrow pointing down to the employee. Mutual accountability is really similar up to the point where you ask me, brian, you say, okay, ray, do you understand your job description? And I say, yes, brian, I do. And you say, okay, great, well, that's what we've hired you to do. And then you step across the line to me as my supervisor and say, okay, ray, well, what do you need from me for your success? And so if we visualize that it's no longer from the supervisor down to the employee, but it's on a parallel stream, from the supervisor parallel to the employee and the employee to the supervisor in a two-way, in a mutual relationship, saying, okay, I want you to be successful, ray. So now that you've told me what you need from me, I will be accountable to you to ensure I do that.
Speaker 3:And what I found was in organizations that lived by mutual accountability and, by the way, my research fairly extensive. It's a very uncommon concept. It exists in a lot of nonprofit organizations, some non-governmental organizations, some faith groups, but it is not common throughout industry, and the reason it's not is because it takes a vulnerability from the supervisor to the employee. But vulnerability can be a very powerful thing. But where it does exist, trust within those organizations is remarkable. And where trust is remarkable, creativity, innovation and ingenuity explodes. And so, when you think about it, in today's's marketplace, where everybody's trying to get an edge, you can ask yourself well, how do I get an edge? Well, I can affect price, I can get more market share, I can do all those things. That's all true, but that's finite, I would argue it's finite. What's infinite is the creativity, innovation and ingenuity within the employees that you're privileged to lead, and ingenuity within the employees that you're privileged to lead. And when you can bring that out, you can launch a spaceship up in the air, have the booster fall off, the spaceship continue and you can catch the booster. I never would have thought that was possible, but it is, and we're seeing things like that, and so that's the point.
Speaker 3:The things that we haven't thought about are out there and, ironically, brian, it's no different than the Native American lady I talked to that shared something with me that made my life better. Our job as leaders is to take care of those employees, to give them what they need for success, so that they can come up with those things we've never thought of to make life better. And it's within them. It's not the clever leader.
Speaker 3:A great leader is a farmer. They're out there and they're taking care of those that they've been privileged to lead. They're making sure that they have all the nutrients, all the things they need to flourish, and so when there's success, it's absolutely because the farmer took care of these employees and the employees created the success. When there's failure, it's actually the farmer's fault, because the farmer didn't provide the things that were needed. These new ideas are going to come from. That's where solutions are going to come from, and they're probably and it's an opinion, but they're probably not going to come from the cleverness of the leader. They're going to come from the inspiration the leader provides to those employees that are going to come up with things they never thought were possible. And when you talk about finding joy in leadership, that's where joy resides. Joy resides in this trust-building, mutual accountability, where the leaders just stand in awe of how awesome these people are, that they're privileged to lead, and the creative, innovative and ingenious solutions they're coming up with Wonderful.
Speaker 2:You know, one of the things I've seen so many times in the research Ray is across the country and I think it's actually across all developed countries, and I've seen multiple independent empirical studies and research on this that shows that 26% of workers are engaged in their jobs, Meaning they like their jobs, they're great for the culture, they come in every day. Not only do they come in and do their job, they're always trying to improve their ability to what I call reach their peak potential. And that's 26% of people and, quite frankly, those are pretty easy people to lead.
Speaker 1:It's like what do you need? What?
Speaker 2:resources do you need and how do I remove obstacles for you? Then you have I'm going to go. The flip-flop is 19% are actively disengaged, meaning these are people there that you really can't turn around. I mean, if you wanted to spend the time turning those I'm going to call them bottom people around, you're going to waste so many resources that are needed for the other people and so a lot of those are toxic people. Sometimes they're just in the wrong culture, they're in the wrong job but they're never really going to rise to that next level.
Speaker 2:But in the middle group you have 55% who are just simply just disengaged. They're not actively disengaged and they're not engaged. They're just disengaged, meaning they feel they're lost, they feel they're on the hamster wheel. They've lost their mojo, their inspiration, they feel unempowered or there's something it could be something happening in their personal life that's affecting their professional life.
Speaker 2:And I think the idea of building that trust or the mutual accountability and the way you described it, is the antidote for a lot of those people, because they seem unheard and unseen and once you go down a little bit of a rabbit hole, it's easy to keep slipping. And when a leader can help pick you back out of that rabbit hole. I always tell people, if you can bring those people around and really help them they're emotionally, mentally, physically, whatever it needs those are going to be your by far your best apostles from this point forward, and I think this idea of mutual accountability is a powerful tool that I had never considered when I work with my clients on this subject. So I appreciate that. That's why I'm so excited to read the book. I just got to get done with this book I'm reading right now. It's been taking me forever. You know what I started reading, ray. I finished a book called the Rogue Warrior, the guy who started SEAL, team 6, which is a pretty dark book.
Speaker 2:It's a good book, but I gave it a three star. It wasn't a five star for me, but it was a three star, but I was. I was interested in the subject matter, but I got done. I'm like I need to read something light that takes me away. So I started reading book number five of harry potter, the order of the phoenix man, and I'm just I'm just loving it. I'm just loving it. I'm just loving it, man.
Speaker 2:I read the other ones years ago and then I stopped and went on to some other things, but it's good to come back to a lighter book every once in a while. Absolutely, absolutely, yeah. So I'm going to include links to both of the books in the show notes today, folks. So please click on those. I'll include the ones to Amazon, but if you shop somewhere else, please look for both of the books that Ray has the Joy of Leadership and Finding Joy in Leadership and Finding Joy in your Golden Years. Just based on what I've learned about Ray and having conversation with Ray the last couple of weeks, I know they're going to be great. I'm not quite ready for the second one though, ray, I'll give you a couple of years, that's fair.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. You know what's funny, though, I've had a couple of people who are in the financial world which is a lot of my world is coaching, you know, financial executives or financial advisors and things of that nature and I've had a couple of people in the last three or four months who are have been doing this career of financial advising and counseling and planning for several decades and a couple of decades or more, who are now looking at this idea of. I kind of want to get out of this and I want to go start doing something more and helping these people as they transition to retirement and not financial, but give them some game plans, some guides. So I recommend it to one of my best friends last week who mentioned this a couple of times. They said, hey, I've got a guest coming on next week. I'll send you the podcast as soon as we're done. But his book would be a really good resource if that's something you're interested in, and even for all you financial advisors out there who are working with people who are looking at retirement soon or maybe are retired, this could be a great book to understand what they're going through and help them to formulate a plan and a succession or not a succession plan, but to formulate what's their purpose. You know, and what do you do now? Because to me you've helped these clients grow for decades to get to retirement. Now they're there, you can't just drop them off at the bus depot. You got to keep them going, you got to help them with. You know, what do they do next once they do retire?
Speaker 2:Because you know, I think a lot of people envision ray is looking at I'm going to retire, I'm going to golf, I'm going to do, but the things and a friend of mine, chuck wackendorfer, was on the podcast a few months ago and he said the things that we like to do and I'm going to butcher how he said this are not the things you want to do every day the rest of your life. It's like, yeah, you might love to golf, you might love to sail, but when it's something you start to do every day and that's all you do, it takes away a lot of the, the, the energy from that, that passion. And I do. I think you're right and again I. 10 years ago you never would have convinced me of this, but now I'm a full, firm believer that so much of our purpose is what we give back to others. It really is.
Speaker 2:When you do something for others, it's, it's. And maybe when you're younger you don't see that, and maybe that really isn't a part of your purpose. But what you talk to anybody who is 50 or older, you really, what you hear so much more of is I just want to help, I want to serve, I want to be obedient, I want to give back. I hear that so often. And actually the cool thing, though, ray, I've got a couple of clients who are very young, very aggressive builders of their empires, and they say they're doing this not like me 30 years ago, they're doing it because they want to serve other people, and I love that. I love that.
Speaker 3:Yep, and that's the key, that there's joy in that. It's so counterintuitive, because you know, we think that if we give too much we won't get in return, because that doesn't seem to be intuitive, but it's counterintuitive the more you give, the more you get, and just the joy from that is, it's just remarkable. And and to kind of piggyback on what you said, brian, because I do want to kind of make a point of that is that more and more financial planning organizations are now starting to realize the importance of the clients they've worked with successfully over all those years of having a plan. And I'm, I am I tell you all this because I talk with other, I'm also a retirement coach, so I talk with other retirement coaches and I'm I am a rookie at this, so I'm in my first year, so take it for what it's worth. But but I talk with people that aren't rookies, that are veterans, and they're saying absolutely, and and they're finding that more and more retirement coaches are partnering up with no-transcript to come up with that, and so I think that's a really interesting thing and I think that I think we're going to see more and more of that, and that's important because, if I haven't said it.
Speaker 3:I believe I have on the podcast. If I have said it before, forgive me for my redundancy, but with 11,000, 11,000 baby boomers turning 65 today, tomorrow and for the rest of the year and the year that follows, 1.4 million every year, that's a lot of people, and so they've all, a lot of them, have financially planned, but the real question is, have they planned for what to do with those finances in their lives? And so I think that's where this becomes, you know, the discover joy in your golden years becomes an interesting concept and one worth considering. Wow, 11,000 a day, yeah, isn't that amazing?
Speaker 2:I don't blow your mind, In seven years I'll be one of those 11,000.
Speaker 3:Exactly. I didn't realize that baby boomers were that big, but now I know they are and I'm at the tail end of that. Just for the record that.
Speaker 2:I am one. I'm on the top end of Xers. I was born in 67. So I'm an older generation Xer. Yes, you're a seasoned Xer, I'm a seasoned Xer. Yeah, I just want to take a moment here before we go on to recognize our newest sponsor, ray. Anyone who knows me knows I don't like to cook. However, I'm definitely concerned about what goes in my body and I do appreciate a great meal. Today I want to thank our newest sponsor, milford Spice Company.
Speaker 2:Milford Spice Company was born from a passion for sharing healthy, delicious meals with loved ones around the table. They believe ingredients matter and their products are free from gluten, fillers, anti-caking agents and preservatives. Many are also salt and or sugar-free. They contain fresh ground herbs and spices handcrafted to provide an amazing, robust flavor, starting in their founder's kitchen, I think, 20-some years ago. They are now in retail stores throughout the United States and their mission still remains the same to make it easy, to make it better.
Speaker 2:So, even though I don't cook I don't cook at all. Actually these spices have been shipped for a while to wherever I am at the time, and my hosts are always excited to cook for me using only Milford Spices. So thank you very much, Milford Spices, all right. Can I ask very much milford spices? All right, um, can I ask a personal question? Right? Yes, you may. This is a question I love to ask people, um, because it really helps myself and the audience to kind of understand them a great deal better. And the question is what is one of the most difficult things you've ever gone through in your life and how did you overcome it?
Speaker 3:That is a good question. I've been blessed in my life with several challenging things to overcome, and I say that because it's true and because we learn more from those things that we're challenged by and that we do overcome. But I think, if I my initial answer is probably the one that is the most accurate, the one that pops into my head, and that is that, and I think others can relate to this. So I was in the Air Force for 23 years and I was very fortunate to have several leadership positions and my career was going very, very, very well, and so I really would have left to my own devices, would have stayed in probably for 35 years as long as they would have me, and, as a quick corollary, that means I probably wouldn't have left the table hungry, and we'll come back to that in a minute.
Speaker 3:But the biggest challenge I had was after a wonderful assignment in Germany just an incredible assignment and my wife and my two boys and we had finished. It was a very intense job for me but very rewarding. And we had finished that job and and um, I was selected for another leadership opportunity and uh, so, uh, I chatted with my wife and came, we came to the family conclusion that we needed to slow down. Things were moving too fast and our kids were growing and and this was going to become more and more difficult to move around so frequently. And so it was hard for me because I felt that I was doing what I was supposed to do and moving in the direction I was supposed to be going, and, by God's grace and by my wonderful wife, she woke me up a little bit to say hey, there's things more important than this your family and your kids. And so I made the decision to retire, and it was incredibly difficult, but I will tell you wiser now in knowing what I know. Now. I am so thankful for that because I did leave the table hungry.
Speaker 3:You asked the question earlier, brian. You know you've done these different things and what motivates you to do that? Well, I think there's something to be said by leaving the table hungry in many things we do, because when you leave the table hungry, you still have something left in the tank for what that next phase is going to be like. And that inspired me when I retired to run that small IT services company and then get back into the airlines and perhaps write. Maybe that's part of my passion for writing. I don't know. But what I do know is that I think it would be fascinating if I hadn't done that. The probability of me writing books and the probability of me running a company, those would be very, very low. So I've been blessed by three different, significantly different careers in my life and it's because I was able to navigate, by my wonderful wife and family, that very, very, very difficult choice I had to make.
Speaker 2:You say three careers, you have six. Now that you're a retirement coach, I'm adding, I'm adding titles to your okay, you're a retirement coach. That's really cool. So that's kind of what we were talking about. I didn't even know there was a name for it retirement coach. Um yeah yeah, that's really interesting. Military ceo pilot, author, phd and retirement coach Ray Phillips I think we'll just call you Ray.
Speaker 3:There you go. I like that the best.
Speaker 2:Ray, what do you consider in your life to be a win that, when something happens you either are part of or you witness, you feel like, oh my gosh, that's a victory.
Speaker 3:Well, that's an easy answer for me and I can give you three good examples really quickly. So when I had my first command in the military, I was a squad to get this job. How will I define success? How will I define success? Whoa, that's a good question.
Speaker 3:And I decided that the answer to that was if I could positively impact just one person, one person in my organization's life, by my leadership, I was going to call that success and I've shared that with people before and I'm not being critical because I think it's a good discussion, but I shared that one time with somebody to go whoa, you're setting the bar really low. And I thought, yeah, maybe, but maybe not, because a win in life for me is just positively impacting the life of one other person. And then when you look at these two joy books so I'm clearly on a joy theme but joy in leadership and joy in your golden years is by positively impacting just one life, at least one life, let's say at least, maybe, at least is a little better Positively impacting at least one life in your sphere of influence. And as a leader.
Speaker 3:That's when you realize the privilege of leadership and you build that trust and the mutual accountability we talked about. And then in retirement it's discovering who you are and it's saying all the skills and things you've got over the years how to make things better for the generations behind you. So that's the win. Make things better for the generations behind you, so that's the win. And if you've ever tasted that, it's remarkable, because what you see in the eyes of somebody else that you've helped is priceless. I mean you could be paid I could be paid seven figures every year and never see that and never find joy. Ever see that and never find joy. Or I could be paid four figures every year, five figures, whatever it is, and see that every day and be satisfied. So that's a win and that's the impetus behind these books and that's, I think, what Charles Smith helped me understand by having a good attitude, was trying to see if you could see that in others having a good attitude was trying to see if you could see that in others.
Speaker 2:And I do you wish? Do you? How do you? I shouldn't say, do we wish this? How do we help a person who might be 30 or 35 or 40, who's really building that empire? Because I look back at myself and I did not have that mentality of you know impacting a life. How do you empower or inspire a younger person to take that mentality on? You know impacting a life. How do you empower or inspire a younger person to take that mentality on as well?
Speaker 3:That's a really, really, really good question. And and I think the answer to that question is is um, and and I'm going to use this as an example cause I think it's relative, but the whole trust model that I use in that first book is about transparent communications, relational expectations, personal and professional growth, and then ownership or empowerment. And when you talk about personal or professional growth and, brian, I know this motivated me too at those ages because I read a book called Rogers Rules for Success by Henry Rogers and I lived by that book I said this is good stuff and I wrote a, made a little card and I followed it every day. Now, the reason I did that was because, selfishly, I thought this will help me be successful. And so I think when we're in our thirties and maybe forties, early forties, and we've we've got that inspiration and all those things, I think that's where we communicate transparently and we set up a good relationship, we're building that trust.
Speaker 3:But then we ask them you know well, what are your personal goals? I know what your professional goals are, but what are your personal goals? You know? That's what's fascinating, brian, not everybody, but so many people talk about professional goals. Well, what do you want to do. Well, I want to grow this to X, or I want to run this company, or I want to do that. Okay, awesome, that's awesome. But before you can really understand the probability of that happening, you have to also incorporate what are your personal goals? What really gets you up in the morning and gets you pumped up? Where do you find your joy? Where do you find your satisfaction? And sometimes those are things you really have to think through and talk through, especially when we're in our 30s. I think those are hard answers to give. Marry personal goals with professional goals.
Speaker 3:That figuring out how to impact somebody's life light will come on, because that's where it comes on. You know we want affirmation, we want to know we're making a difference. Well, how do you know you're making a difference? And where do you get your affirmation? Well, I get my affirmation from others, or sometimes the people who work with me will say things oh, cool, yeah.
Speaker 3:And so I think that's the revelation that has to occur is that for you to be successful is not you can't do it by yourself. It's going to have to be in a group setting, a team setting perhaps. And when it's in the team setting and you see the team win, that's where you realize, wow, that's what this is about. It's about making that impact and that's why. That's why, interestingly enough, you know, um, these concepts of building trust and deciding who you are and what's important to you are really important at any phase of life.
Speaker 3:Because the sooner you figure that out, the better, because you know one of my favorite quotes and I'm sure you've heard this, brian, but I feel like I lived it. I didn't totally live it, but I was cautious about it. But the quote goes be careful not to spend your entire life climbing the ladder of success only to find out it's leaning against the wrong wall. And that's powerful. And I think, to avoid it leaning against the wrong wall, we've got to make sure that people understand that it's through the eyes of seeing others succeed that creates those wins.
Speaker 2:I remember that quote from Stephen Covey. Yes, is that him? Yeah, it is. I'm pretty sure it's Covey. I know it's in Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I know that, but I don't know if that was Hidge's original quote or not, but that's another one that has that one stuck with me since I was in my early 20s or mid 20s when I first read that book. That's a great quote.
Speaker 3:Yeah absolutely.
Speaker 2:I really like the idea of marrying your personal and professional goals, and one of the things I try to get out of my clients and sometimes it's hard is your purpose in life, and I do a lot of talks and coaching on developing your purpose. And what I tell people is, if you use the term marry and I think that's a really good one I haven't used that term, but let's all use it If you can marry your personal and professional purpose and have one overreaching purpose that you can apply both to your professional life as well as your professional life, wow, it's like you turn on the afterburners. When you do that yes, you really do, and I think that's powerful. I think sometimes people confuse purpose with goals, and I know your goals are different personally and professionally, but there should be an overarching umbrella across both of those your personal, professional goals. That is your purpose, your aspiration of who do you want to become and how do you want to impact the world, and then you can do that both in your personal life and your professional life.
Speaker 2:I think that's when you can do that man. That's a powerful. That's a powerful direction to go in, totally agree, all right, so you talked about. You know we're talking about kind of the younger generation. So let's go back, let's take you as younger Ray Phillips, if I have my time machine and I'm coming out there just north of Denver and we're going to jump in that time machine this afternoon and we're going to go back to any time in history, ray, that you want to go back into and you can talk to your younger self. What words of wisdom, recipes for success or advice would you give the younger Ray?
Speaker 3:Well, I have thought about this too, because I think I might've shared it with my boys as I want to help them to be smarter than me, and as they've grown up. But it's resonated with me for a very long time that nobody ever told me how hard life would be and I don't say that negatively, I just say it factually. And sometimes the hardest things in life are the ones that are so. They're most rewarding, they're the most meaningful. So the first thing I would tell my younger self is hey, ray, life's going to be hard. You're not going to escape that, it's just going to be hard. And what I really want you to think about, younger Ray, is I want you to embrace it. I want you to embrace the challenges. Because if you can embrace the challenges, don't avoid them. Embrace them. That is what will mold your character. That is what will mold your character, that is what will make you stronger. And so you're not going to avoid the challenges that come your way. They're going to come your way. But what you can do and again I want to give credit to Charles Smith is you can have an attitude that says embrace them. You know, get frustrated initially, go darn it. I can't believe this happens and as soon as you're done huffing and puffing a couple of times, just say okay, it's happened.
Speaker 3:Now there's a great quote, another quote that comes to mind in it. I can't remember who said this, it might be Jim Rohn but it's not what happens, it's what you do that makes the difference in results. And I should know that. I've seen that recently. But boy, that's a powerful quote. Because it's not what happens, because it's going to happen. Life is going to happen, but it's what you do that makes the difference in results. And I did figure that out later in life. But I think that's a golden nugget that the sooner you can figure that out, the sooner you can embrace that that it's not when all things are going your way that you grow the most. It's when things aren't going your way and they're your opportunities to grow.
Speaker 2:Life is hard. Embrace it. Somebody asked me one time, ray, I think it was I had somebody I had a friend of mine interview me on this podcast, as I was the guest and he was the host, and just to turn it around a little bit so the audience could learn a little bit more about me, and they asked me who the greatest influence was. Mine was my mother, and we went on and then he said well, what was it? My mother never said these words to me, but the one thing I learned most from her is that life is hard or life is tough. Be tougher, and I think a lot of it.
Speaker 2:And I think a lot of times in today's society we are trying to mold the world to fit our children versus getting our children ready to fit the world.
Speaker 3:Brilliant.
Speaker 2:That's a dangerous, dangerous slippery slope because the world is not going to change for your child. Whether you try to change the world, it's not going to happen. The world is the world and it is hard. And if we don't make our children ready for that, what is the old saying? I'd rather be a warrior in a garden and a gardener in a war. Exactly, train your children to be tough emotionally and mentally, and physically if you can, but mostly mentally and emotionally. And that's why this idea of stoicism has really gotten a rebirth when Ryan Holiday wrote his book the Obstacle is the Way, maybe 15 years ago. And this philosophy of stoicism about how do you handle the difficulties in life and how do you handle the high moments too. You don't want to get too wrapped up in the highs or the lows. You want to keep yourself at a pretty good emotional and mental state of stability, because it's going to come, whether you like it or not. So be ready for it.
Speaker 3:Well, I liken it. My wife's a big tennis player and so therefore I watch every tennis tournament in the world and I've grown to love it, so at one point I whined. Now I love it. But tennis is a fascinating game, especially singles, because when you're on top you can be ahead 5-2, and it's amazing how many 5-2 sets are lost.
Speaker 3:And the reason they're lost is exactly what you're saying, brian. You're feeling, hey, I'm there, I got this thing won. And the minute you think that your opponent now has the edge to beat you. And then the same breath, when life's really hard, when you're down two to five and you feel like, oh, this is just not going my way, you've got to dig down deep and say I just need to win the next point, just one point at a time, and before you know it, you're going to win it. And it's that mentality, it's that idea in any sport or in any endeavor that you never give up. You say, okay. Well, what can I learn from this? What's going on right now? What can I learn from this? How do I make this better? How do I move one step forward? How do I get the next point? And, yeah, that is becoming a little bit of a lost art but oh my gosh, what incredible fertile ground for leaders out there and retirees to help the next generation turn that around.
Speaker 2:That would be a purpose, a perfect use of a lot of people's time is to help that younger generation realize that and really come to that, that, that and that's an aha moment. For a lot of younger people that's an aha moment Cause they have not been told that before. Um, I mean yes, yes, so you've got all these. You've got this amazing 60, is it 63 or 65? How old are you, ray? I'll be 65 June 12th, is that next Thursday? It is. The podcast will be released on your birthday week.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's wonderful, We'll do it yeah.
Speaker 2:So what's next for you?
Speaker 3:Well, thank you for asking. I will tell you I'm so passionate and I hope I conveyed that, I believe I did, I hope I did but I'm so passionate about joy, I'm so passionate about leadership and I'm definitely passionate about people turning 65 and entering their golden years, of which I am one, that I would love to live out the rest of my days, as long as I can, coaching, being a leadership coach, a retirement coach, writing books and inspiring. And it goes back to the question you asked. You know what's a win for you in life? A win for me is to continue to see that look in someone's face when you've helped make their life better and make a difference. And so that's what's next for me. You know I'm going to continue writing, coaching, consulting um and just doing what I can do um to to help make a difference.
Speaker 2:Well, please do, cause we definitely need you. We need you doing that and and you, you're, you're uh, when it's impacting one life, you're impacting a lot of life. You impact my life. I can tell you that just in our conversation last week and today I'm I'm jotting notes down here on my side table. So, um, great quotes. I love that idea Leave the table hungry. I really liked that. That has a lot of connotations to me and I was thinking in my head what, how do I apply that? And I can see so many applications for me. Um, okay, so final question, my friend is is there any question, ray, that I did not ask that you wish I would have? Or is there any kind of final message you want to leave with that bamboo pack?
Speaker 3:audience. Well, um, no questions, this was just an incredible conversation. And for that audience, um, I want and I mean this sincerely, and if you get a book because it interests you, you'll see it in the book because I bring it up. I think I bring it up in the acknowledgements in the Discover Joy, in your Golden Years book but I want every listener to know that they truly are remarkable.
Speaker 3:The challenges you've all had in your lives, the successes you've had in your lives have molded you into who you are and you have so much to give, whether that's as a leader, whether that's as a retiree in your community. You've got so much to give. You've got so much more potential to realize and explore goals to set and things like that. Realize and explore goals to set and things like that. And there's people out there that are just waiting for you to make that impact. So I just want to thank them. I want to thank anybody that listened to this. I want to thank anybody that gets the books or is curious about this. If this makes your lives better, then this has been a win for me. But don't miss the importance of how special you are. I want to leave with one last point, because I would feel bad if I forgot to say this. So remember, I made the big point about babysitting and meeting Charles Smith, who was like a father to me. Well, it ends up.
Speaker 3:I did babysit and I ended up having the privilege and this is critical in light of everything I've said I had the privilege to babysit for a Down Syndrome girl young girl name was Rita, and I don't know how that happened. I don't even know why this family decided to ask me to do that, but they did, and I will tell you that I learned more from her than there's anything I ever taught her. She was always happy, she was always happy to see me, she was always happy-go-lucky. And you know, society and humanity says that she had a handicap, and I can understand, perhaps, why they say that. But I will tell you that she didn't have a handicap.
Speaker 3:I had a handicap because I didn't realize how beautiful this young lady was and how happy she could be, just at her desire. So she changed my life and so that makes the point that I've just made that you never know. You know the impact you can make in somebody else's life or they can make in yours, and everybody is special and everybody has something to give. And if we would just look for that boy, we can. We can move the rudder on this big boat world in a pretty big way and change the world pretty big way and change the world.
Speaker 2:Well, ray, I normally give a final thought after that final question, but I'm going to leave it because your answer was more profound than anything I can come up with. You are a gift, my friend. You are a gift, you really are.
Speaker 3:Wow Well, thanks, Brian. I appreciate that. I really appreciate the opportunity.
Speaker 2:Oh, please stay on the phone for a little bit when we're done here. But I want to recommend everybody please get on Amazon, barnes and Noble dot com or go to your favorite bookstore and find Finding Joy in Leadership and Discovery, joy in your Golden Years. Like I said, we'll have some show notes. At the bottom of the show notes you can click on those. I sometimes struggle with how to edit those in there, but I'm doing my best every time. But you have the names of them folks, so get on Amazon and check them out. Ray, first of all, happy birthday next Thursday. Thank you and Godspeed on your last few flights here before you retire officially. I hope this is a momentous cap to your flying career.
Speaker 3:Well, I appreciate that as well, absolutely. And thank you for being one of the more inspiring and empowering guests I've ever had on the Bamboo Lab podcast. Well, I take that as an honor. Thank you, Brian, very much.
Speaker 2:It's an honor Folks, I want to thank you for tuning in. I know all of you got a lot out of this podcast, this particular episode. Please share this with five people you love and care about, this podcast, this particular episode. Please share this with five people you love and care about. Let them gleam the wisdom that Ray shared with us of his experiences, of that he's already had and he's continuing to create now and in the future, of impacting lives. Staying hungry at the table, leaving the table hungry. I love that quote. Please smash that like button, rate and review us and, again, share this with five people you love. I'll see you all next week, same time, same place. In the meantime, please get out there and strive to give and be your best, show love and respect to others, and also show it to yourself, and please live with intention and purpose. I appreciate you all. Until next time.
