Wisdom at Work: Instincts, Learning, and Kindness with Art Delorenzo

A single signed offer letter sat in the mail—and Art Delorenzo felt a tug that said, “this isn’t it.” That gut check rerouted him from academia to a 50‑year run in financial services and leadership development. We invited Art back to explore how he makes choices, leads teams, and keeps his life centered, all through a lens that blends instinct, deliberate learning, and everyday kindness.

We talk about the real mechanics of decision‑making: how cognition (research and analysis), affect (emotion and memory), and conation (instinct and drive) work together. Art introduces the Kolbe perspective on personal MO—why innovators need to reshape the standard kit and fact finders need more data before they move. We explore gut feelings and precognition as early signals worth respecting, plus a simple way to vet a new role: talk to the people who report to the leader you’d serve. Culture is local, and style matters more than the job description.

From there, we dive into habits that compound. Art swears by short, consistent learning sessions to build cognitive strength, and he doubles retention by teaching what he just learned. We get honest about asking for help, humility as a performance tool, and why treating victory and defeat as impostors steadies a team. You’ll also hear two practical rituals that change daily life fast: a three‑minute transition stop before walking in the door so you’re truly home when you get home, and “joy reps”—eight brief acknowledgments that retrain the brain away from negativity bias. Add in kindness as a sleep aid—recalling a face you helped that day—and you’ve got a human system for better work and a better home life.

If you’ve felt the hamster wheel spinning or you’re weighing a leap, this conversation gives you a grounded way to decide, act, and stay well. Listen, share it with a friend who’s at a crossroads, and if it hits home, subscribe and leave a review—what’s one small practice you’ll start today?

Transcript

Welcome & Art’s Return

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to the Bamboo Lab Podcast with your host, Peak Performance Coach Brian Bosley. Are you stuck on the hamster wheel of life, spinning and spinning, but not really moving forward? Are you ready to jump off and soar? Are you finally ready to sculpt your life? If so, you've landed in the right place. This podcast is created and broadcast just for you. All of you strivers, thrivers, and survivors out there. If you'd like to learn more about Brian and the Bamboo Lab, feel free to reach out to explore your true peak level at www.bamboollab3.com.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

Welcome everyone to this week's episode of the Bamboo Lab Podcast. I'm your host, Brian, and I want to refer everybody back to February 20th, 2023. I did an episode, it was episode number 73, with a dear friend of mine and a man I respect immensely named Art Delorenzo. Art has been in the financial leadership and emotional competency field for decades now. Very well respected. In fact, um I share with several of my clients over the past couple of weeks that we have art coming back on, and everybody was very jubilant and excited about hearing his wisdom. So I think we're the I think this is episode 156 or 157. So this was like 80 episodes ago we talked, but we've kept in contact. So without further ado, my dear friend, welcome to the Bamboo Lab Podcast once again.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

Well, thank you, Brian. And and you know, I am a great fan of yours, so everybody knows that. So I won't elaborate on it, but uh glad to be here with you.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

It's an honor. Well, okay, so I know when I reached out to you, I know you and I have talked on the phone a few times, but when I did reach out to you a couple of months ago about coming back on again for a second trip, I really wanted you to just take some time and kind of run this episode by sharing with myself and the audience members out there your greatest learnings, your pieces of wisdom. Because you've had an incredibly illustrious, illustrious career over these several decades, and um there's so much wisdom in there that I want to capture. So without me having a structured line of questioning, I want it to be unlimited for you to share whatever you want. So I'm gonna turn it over to you for now.

Choosing Paths by Instinct

Research vs. Gut: Finding Your MO

SPEAKER_03 2:24

Oh, thanks, Brian. Well, I I think if if I if I think about what was um a significant driver for me was recognizing that I was going to go down a road that I didn't feel comfortable with. And I it was to be a professor at a university in in uh Maryland. And I I signed the agreement, sent it to them, and um once it was in the mail, I started questioning whether it was the right thing to do. And so I just spent some time by myself on on the lake, and and I decided I what I was gonna resume that uh offer. And uh I did. And I called up with a phone call, they were disappointed, rightfully so, but I gave them plenty of notice. And that is that decision is what was aimed at me towards the financial services uh uh arena. And uh what I've learned from that, and I've learned and it's been repeated time and time again uh with people that I've recruited and trained and developed, that was critical is that all of us have to feel a sense of instinct in us when we do our work. And if we do our work with that instinct, our MO is going to be energy full. We'll we'll we'll work until you know six o'clock at night and and um and not think anything of it. But to counter that there always will be times where we'll be working till six o'clock, but it won't be with with the task that we really enjoy, and um it'll exhaust us. And so same clock starts at nine, ends at six day in and day out. But what's critical is the uh the joy that you receive when um your instincts are telling you, I really love this work. I love this job, it's the best job I've ever had in my life. And that's the same, that's the same thing over and over and over again. Every time I took a promotion, I took plenty of time. I did lots of research and um and it was no questions asked that when I I turned down at American Express. I must have turned down half a dozen uh offerings, and then finally the one came that was that I felt matched my instincts what night it matched what my M MO was, and uh was a good decision and it has stayed that way. So instincts, honor your instincts and and believe in them, trust them.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

So you made a statement you when you have a a change or a decision to make that you do a lot of research. And one of the things I have found art is when I have a decision to make like that, I tell people, you know, we make our decisions primarily from the right side of our brain, the emotional side. But we have to use the left brain to do the research to come up with thoughts and ideas and recognize some patterns. What I find is I do the research, I do the thinking, I do the journaling, but then the decision is almost always made at some obscure uh time of the day. I might be out running or, you know, hiking or just laying in bed. It might be at three in the morning, the idea comes to me or the right decision. Do you think that that seems to be the instinctive part, as it comes to me instinctively in a in a in a you know, in a time of the day or the wherever it is where I'm doing something that I'm not even cons I'm not even thinking about the decision? Do you think you have to do the research and the thinking, the logical, critical thinking before the decision can come on the from that instinctive level? Or do you think it do you do can you forego the research and thinking of it and it just comes instinctively? Does that make sense? That wasn't a really well-worded question, but Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:47

Well, I I I I think we're all different. Okay. Um I don't know if your audience knows very much about Colby technology in in uh Arizona Phoenix. You can Google them, there's all kinds of uh research that they've done, which which was uh which attracted me. And um so I I think it's different for everybody. Um and in my my model, my Colby model, it it requires me to spend most of my time innovating. And when I have to do my research, I'm out of my MO and I grunt it out, and as soon as it's done, I am happy. I'm happy I did it, but I'm also happy that um uh it gave me answers. Um and so I I think it depends on your on your MO. And I think the answer is inside you.

SPEAKER_04 7:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

I I know for me, I'm a very um, oh, how do I want to I'm a very spontaneous person. I'm not a good planner. Anybody who knows me will know that don't invite me to do something that's more than about three hours out because I'm not gonna plan on it. I'm not gonna I kind of run very instinctively a lot or situationally and very spontaneously. I'm working on that. So one of the things I have to do so I don't make a poor decision is I have to do the research. I have to jot down ideas, journal ideas, and really think them out. Then forget about them. Kind of put them on the back burner for a little bit. Then they kind of, for me personally, they come to me it almost always when I'm somewhere in the woods, whether it's hiking or running or whatever it is, the the idea because my body is tired, my mind is relaxed, and I'm thinking about something completely unrelated, and then an idea pops up. And thankfully I always carry a pad and paper or a pad, a pen and paper with me wherever I am, so I can sap and jot it down. I'm like, okay, that's that's the answer that I want, you know. And uh that's the answer I and I but some people can just maybe just do it without the research, I guess. I mean, and I don't know if a lot of people know about the Colby um model, to be honest with you. So um is that the that re is that kind of a reflective model?

Colbe, Cognitive, Affective, Instinct

SPEAKER_03 9:03

Is that how I don't know it's it's uh it's a a model that measures our instincts, our our our our um inclinations. It's it's just inside of us. Um what you were talking about was cognitive skills. We all we all can have cognitive skills. In fact, before when I was doing my research, I was working in my cognitive mind, not my instinct. My instinct was to innovate, but I'm fighting it and I'm using the my cognitive knowledge, right? You know, I went to you know under graduate school, but I got two master's degrees, all of those things piled into um um uh a pile of cognitive knowledge. And so when I have to solve a problem, I go there first, just because it makes me feel uh appropriate. And then I I jump over uh the the Colby stuff and I go to the affective part, which is the right brain, left brain part that you were talking about. And um, and I use I use that and because all all all of the the cognitive pieces came from our education, our training, and and all of that that we have. But simultaneously to that, what what is happening is your brain is recording all the feelings that you had. And so it's wise to go back into that affective part of your brain and say, I'm about to make this decision, or I I want to make this decision. Have I ever had any life experiences that that gave me feelings similar to the ones I'm feeling now? And they will emerge, the both of them will will bring you up. And then it says, okay, you've got you've got the cognitive, you've got the affective, but now you've got to do something. And the doing for me is instincts.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 11:20

And so uh or or I want to correct myself, but for me, it's the the it's the whole idea of innovating. Even at American Express, I get a kit that they would send out for a major presentation for and I had, I don't know, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people, and I had to present this to them. I could not I could not put uh take that package and do it the way they had it. I had to go back and do some research that was similar to this, gave me feedback, gave me comfort, and then I went ahead and did the presentation, but I edited it. I ed I and innovated it. So but that's me. And it may not be you, and it and I'll give you another example is if it's if it's someone who has a a high degree of of fact finder, not innovating, but they love the they love the data piece. They wouldn't be they they couldn't make the decision like that. They they had to have they had to have their own data. So anyway.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 12:29

So I don't want to ramble.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

No, before we go on to your next uh like piece of wisdom, how well how is is Colby spelt K-O-L-B?

SPEAKER_03 12:37

K-O-L-B-E.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

K-O-K-O-L. Okay, so I just want to put that so the audience can Google that and do some research on that and potentially find out what their what their style is, so to speak.

unknown 12:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

So right away, number one is trust your instinct a little bit. Work use your instinct for your betterment, your that kind of gut feeling we get. That's kind of a the synopsis of of what you were talking about.

SPEAKER_03 12:59

That that is correct. And I'm gonna I'm gonna just grab something from you. This flows perfectly into the second thing I was gonna talk about.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

Perfect.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

And that uh there's a there's a there's some science out there called pre-cognition. I remember I spoke about cognitive skills. So this is this research is about well, what's our feeling before it goes into that? And uh what does the brain do? We talked about it. It sends you messages. Well, pre-cognition is uh feeling in your stomach, and the brain is so smart, it knows it has all these neural things floating around. I'm trying to stay away from science words, but um they're they're wires all over the brain. And when it can't come to making an important decision, the brain, and I'm making this up, says to itself, we can't we can't give art an answer in this muddle of thousands and thousands of thousands of neurons. Um so we gotta send it someplace where you'll notice it and they'll send it, and what do they do? They send it to your stomach. That's why people say they have gut feelings. And uh so I just wanted to grab that. Uh you know who put this out is popular mechanics. You can uh the the author is Ashley Tyson, T-Y-S-I-A-C.

SPEAKER_01 14:49

What year was that? What year was it?

SPEAKER_03 14:51

Uh this year three weeks three three weeks ago. Three, four weeks ago.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

I'm gonna try to find that article.

SPEAKER_03 15:00

Yeah. So that all of what we talked about is all kind of twines together.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

There's been a lot of research on the that the stomach is a second brain. And I find that fascinating. That it acts like a it has its own, and even the heart they say now is there's a lot of research that shows that that has its own type of brain, it's almost a third brain for us. But do you think our so if we trust in literally our stomach, I mean, there's a lot of stuff that happens in there that affects our brain and vice versa. Do you think that and I've I I've read some minimally on this though, that if we want to be able to trust our instincts more, our gut, our stomach, so to speak, that it's good to take uh to eat certain foods and drink certain things that takes care of the the um uh biomechanics of the stomach or whatever it might be. Do you do you think it's physiological?

SPEAKER_03 15:56

I I don't know. I I don't know. I I'm I'm not familiar with um uh the resources you're talking about. So I I I don't know what things to say. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

I think I I'm pretty sure now that I remember it was on an episode of Andrew Huberman on the Huberman Lab talking about the gut biome, um, I think it's called and how that affects like so drinking things, eating things like sauerkraut or kombucha or you know, things like that can really help our stomach. Oh, wonderful. And it can also therefore affect our decision making better. So is it and and I didn't I I was actually uh running when I listened to this episode, I it was like three or four weeks ago. So I didn't sit down and take notes on it, but it was just like, oh, well, that's interesting because I do like to you know eat as much as I can. I like to take care of the stomach because I otherwise my stomach's a mess half the time. So I like to make sure I eat sauerkraut. I drink I drink as much kombucha as I have it lately, but I typically drink a kombucha a day and eat a spoonful of sauerkraut every day. Well, good. So it a lot of this is coming down to trusting yourself, trusting your gut instinct.

Precognition and the “Second Brain”

SPEAKER_03 17:06

Yes, it is. And um uh another thing that I I did um was when I was offered these positions, uh I I went and and found ways to talk to people who reported to the position that um uh I would be reporting to. I wanted to know ahead of time what kind of a leader was the um you know was my boss gonna be. And um so that that was a a big help to me. I I I I wanted to know what I could expect from a growth and development position. Um I had one case where um the I was assigned to a a person part-time, and it was not a good connection. Um there's a lot of braggadocio, total absence of humility, total absence of uh of uh controlling one's emotions. And I I I said no to that one. I couldn't say no fast enough.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Have you can you think of a time where you didn't trust your instinct or guts in it in it and you you regretted it later?

SPEAKER_03 18:30

Personally, yes.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

I mean, I can think of so many times when I didn't, I mean, in in and I know there are a lot of audience members out there are thinking about the same, they're asking themselves the same question right now. What have I done where I went too logical, didn't trust the gut, did what I thought I wanted to do rather than what my stomach or my gut but my heart were telling me to do, and it backfired on me. And I've done that with relationships, I've done that with business decisions, I've done with that just with p poor choices I made in in friend groups and you know, even on my own. And I look back and, you know, you kind of know sometimes the right choice to make, but it's so easy, especially if you're a good leader or a good salesperson, it's good to we're good at convincing ourselves otherwise. If I want to do something and my gut's telling me not to do it, or vice versa, I kind of always know that I'm doing the wrong thing. And it's so I it's like I I always when I wake up in the morning going, Oh, I shouldn't have done that, and I knew I shouldn't have done it. And I'm like, and it's just an example of just start trusting my instincts better. And sometimes I trust them too much.

SPEAKER_03 19:37

I mean, well, I you know, again, we're we're all so different. And um I I can't I I well you were talking, I was thinking, and I I could not think of a um a business experience that I had that um you know I I I felt was you know wrong. I I I had a part-time job when I was in grad school and um and uh I did some work, but I it it it wasn't a career, it was just something that I had to do to you know to have to have some extra income. So I I I can't all of my financial services career from start to end, all over 50 years, a little over 50 years, and uh I I was I was a happy I was a happy man.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

Well, I think of like was you were talking earlier, talking about instinct. I think about when I started the coaching practice, it'll be 29 years ago next month, and when I left American Express, and it was completely on instinct. I had no rational, logical reason to stop my job at a very good company and start doing something at a young age that I've never done before. And and right and quite frankly, you know, I was arrogance, insecurity, lack of experience, that lack of wisdom that caused me to do it, but it was strictly instinct and gut. I felt it was the right thing to do without actually doing a lot of of uh critical thinking before I made that jump. In the first year, obviously, it was very challenging. And I questioned that decision as I was, you know, had no money and didn't have a car and and things like that. But obviously, in the long run, it worked out. But um, I I wonder if you can go too much on instinct without enough back, critical back thinking, back uh or cognitive backing, I guess. But it worked out. So I'm I'm gonna say I trusted my gut and it was the right decision to make.

Vetting Leaders Before You Say Yes

SPEAKER_03 21:36

I think you're I think you're spot on. The the third thing that I would uh say that was really helpful to me is uh was because of my inclination for research. Um I I I liked I like learning. And so my encouragement to all of your listeners is do something every week, and even if it's a a six-minute article or a chapter of a book, um you know, commit yourself to to learning and and pile it on, build those those that cognitive part of your brain, just stack it up your stack it up, stack it up as much as you as you possibly can. You're going to need the um pieces. Look several of them, it's gonna be 85 in a couple of weeks, and um reading popular mechanics and pro pre precognition. And so I it's it's something I've just practiced myself, and it has been so helpful to the people that I've been responsible for. Um that um and they were grateful for it. Then they started emulating it and giving me articles that they saw, and we swapped them. And so I I think learning, don't don't ever stop learning. When they bring when they bring the coffin down the uh the aisle, you know, have somebody slide a quick article in there that I can read before they bury me.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

Well, now you're you're you're definitely uh traveling down my path here. I one of the things I stress with my clients a lot is you know, I I want you to read. I want you know, and I recommend a lot of books. It was really nice today because I was a young man that I coach. Um I was 38 years old. And I rec last Wednesday I recommended, I said, you need to read the book, The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holliday, one of my favorite books. And uh and I recommended I kind of forgot about it. So today we had a short coaching session. He said, I want you to let you know, I'm about halfway through the book. I feel so motivated and so much more empowered by this philosophy of stoicism. I love when that happens, but I here's what I hear a lot. I don't have time to read. I don't have time. And I'm like, literally, like you said, it can be five minutes a day. It it or it can be ten minutes a week. An article takes about 10 minutes to read, five to ten minutes. Like you one article, start with one article, one chapter of a book. Uh pull out a TEDx talk, you know, find research something that you're interested in, watch a YouTube video on it, and just keep that brain stimulated. Um I I couldn't agree more. I mean, I I think you and I are probably fairly blessed that we like to read, we like to do the research, and maybe we start at a young age where it becomes so habitual in our lives. But for some people, they're they've never really done that. And I'm like, you don't have to do much of it. Find a topic you're interested in. Learn something.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

Yeah, I know. Yep, I think you're you're spot on again. And the wonder we like each other so much. So it works. Next thing I had was uh uh don't be afraid to ask for help. Um uh be assertive. Model, model that to your your family, your your your workers, you know, people you work with. Um and um uh if you're if you're struggling with something, don't be afraid. Don't just ignore it. Go go go go find somebody to teach you. And then uh for all practical purposes, you can relearn by then taking that same article or that same concept and share it with somebody else. Now you're getting a relearn. You got you learned it the first time from the person that you asked for help, and then you now spread that to somebody else and you're relearning it again. It helps with the retention of the knowledge. Retention is one of your best resources that you have. So be committed to uh uh you know practicing and practicing and practicing over and over again.

SPEAKER_01 26:00

Now, did when you were younger, Art, did you find it more difficult to ask for help than you do now? Or has you have you always made it has it always been a very pretty easy process for you? Because I've been I was challenged with that one for a while.

SPEAKER_03 26:13

Yeah, I I never was challenged by it. I didn't I didn't mind not knowing something. I uh would have preferred to know something. Um and when I didn't, I was committed to finding out what it is that I had to learn. And so I uh I'd say, you know, that it's a it's a learned, it's a learned behavior.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

Yeah. So so I mean obviously I reach out, I've reached out to you many times to ask for help or thoughts on something. I uh I want to tell you the biggest blunder I've had in my career on this topic was when I started the coaching firm in November of 2000 or of 1996, I told myself out loud, you are not gonna read any books on consulting or coaching, you're not gonna talk to another coach or consultant and ask for their help. You're gonna do it your way without any outside influence. And now I look back again, it's a young man at 29 years old, insecure, arrogant, um, all these, you know, fears that I had. And I was trying to be this rock of a man, this island all by myself. And I look back and I honestly can say that was probably the biggest blunder I've made in my 29 years of coaching is not reaching out for help or reading books or articles on the topic of the field I was in now, because I didn't want to be spoiled by other people's opinions. And I I'll never I'll that's something that stuck with me. And so now I'm adamantly good at asking for help from you know, or advice or thoughts, or hey, just can we brainstorm on something for a little bit? And and it has made such a massive, massive positive influence on my professional and personal life.

When Instinct Outruns Logic

SPEAKER_03 27:56

Well, listen, and and it's it's it's nice to hear that. I hope everybody that's listening is listening to Brian talk about um how they can enhance themselves. Um you know when when you're when you're behaving in a way I'll I'll kind of channel it towards athletics at first, but it could be anything.

SPEAKER_02 28:26

When when somebody acts poorly in an in an athletic event.

Become a Lifelong Learner

SPEAKER_03 29:01

What do we want how we see when we behave What do we want them to see? So if we behave poorly in front of our family, there's consequences to it. But if we want to um I want to think positively you exercise humility in Wimbledon when you go to center court, there's um a quote from Reggie and Kipling and it says both victory and defeat are imposters. They they they are not what you're going to be in life. What you're going to be in life is how you behave with each other. The man on the street, the the coffee vendor, the the you know, the the best client that you have. How you behave with them is what you such a part. And so my encouragement would be to learn from that that when you're behaving especially on a team, and that team can be at home or at work. And conversely, if you behave with humility and kindness, when you win, people see it. Well and they want to they want to be like you.

SPEAKER_01 31:08

I think you said something to me uh a couple of years ago that kindness is the best uh sleep medicine or something like that. Um in our I think it was when we were doing our blast podcast, I think that was the title of the podcast we did a couple of years ago, and that made a lot of sense. I think the words you said were this, and I'm gonna paraphrase to some degree. Um when you do something nice for somebody and you look them in the eye and you see, like if you're saying, even, hey, I like, I like, you know, thank you for the good service you've given me. You're an incredible server, or whatever it is, to someone. And you when you go to bed and you remember that face that when you said something kind to them, it'll put you right to sleep. It's the best sleep medicine or something like that. And I that stuck with me, and I've shared that with a lot of people. Um, is when you practice a ract or an act of kindness to someone, that can be a really good um antidote to sleeplessness or insomnia.

SPEAKER_03 31:59

Yeah, you've got a good memory. It's true. They're called act of random act of acts of kindness where you just go out of your way. And uh so that that works well because then you can before you put your head on the pillow or as you put your head on the pillow, you can reflect back. The brain will take you right back to every one of those experiences. So if you had three this today and four yesterday, either one, they're gonna just ask the brain, can I have the picture back of my saying something to somebody? And then the person's face will come right back to you.

SPEAKER_01 32:36

It and it's it works. I know that for a fact, because I've done it many times in the last two and a half years since we talked. Um, it it does work. And before when you told me that, I was on this this uh uh this journey of pra practicing seven random acts of kindness a week. That and I still am, and I track I literally track it. I track, I'm a big fan of, you know, you respect what you inspect, so if I don't track it, I won't do it. And before then I was just doing it. Um and you know, like oh, you know, let letting somebody cut in front of me in the line, holding a door. You know, they're all small things for the most part. But then I started being more verbal when you mentioned this in the past, uh, about saying something kind of a person and look and looking them in the eye or looking you know at their face when I say it. And um I've been able to put that to practice, you know, not every night. I fall asleep pretty easily now because I get up early, but uh there are times in the middle of the night when I wake up and I I'll have to go back to that. Okay, what did I do or say to someone today? And do I did I look in their face? And if I did, I use that that visual, and it does. It just puts me in a relaxed uh position, I guess. More serene, more more peaceful position, I should say.

SPEAKER_03 33:47

But well, the last comment I'll I'll make for the day is uh is learning how to have a life where there's balance between your personal life and your work life. And uh it's uh not gonna surprise anybody to know that um when you retire um and um nobody nobody at the home office is gonna send you a check to cover all the times that you took time away from your family and devoted it to work. The the secret to this is all the other things we spoke about, building those cognitive skills, learning, relearning. Those are the things that allow you to be effective at work and at home. You can you can when one of our executives lives near the ocean and um a client and um uh when we started talking about this, she just threw up her hand, she said, it's impossible. I have so much to do. I I I can't I can't, and I can't take any more uh time. So we met afterwards and uh and I asked her, just try it for a week. And so she agreed to try it. She's still doing it to this day. She doesn't she doesn't go home when she goes home. She doesn't go home. She doesn't go where does she go? She goes to the ocean and she sits in her favorite spot, not the same, of course, and she just does nothing for three minutes and then she goes home. That unleashes all the love again to the kids, to the husband, to the wife, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Ask for Help, Teach to Retain

SPEAKER_01 36:02

So when you when she is actually physically home, she is actually home, she's engaged, she's present with her family.

SPEAKER_03 36:11

Yep, yeah, because when she was when she was home, she wasn't home.

SPEAKER_01 36:15

Yeah. Uh I know a lot of my clients have faced that. And I've mentioned stopping at a park for 10 minutes on the way home or meditating in the driveway before you walk in. Um and the ones who've done it have had have had great success with it. But it is hard to convince a person to take that extra 10, 20, 30 minutes on their way home because what do we always say? I don't have the time. I'm too busy for just about everything that's good for us. We don't have the time to do it.

SPEAKER_03 36:41

Yeah, that's that's that goes back to Roger Kipling, right? Yeah. What did he say? What did he say? It's a it's it's a it's a facade, it's a it's it's uh a make-believe, it's not true. Um so all those things that we say to ourselves that are like that are um not true.

SPEAKER_01 37:03

So I love this I love this thing I've read lately a lot. I've heard it a lot when I um as I'm listening to podcasts and reading books, that we are not our thoughts. And I love that statement because a lot of times my thoughts will get jumbled up. They'll, you know, and I as much as I work on positivity, my thoughts will go negative, I'll worry, I'll feel guilt or shame for something, and I have to remind myself, I am not my thoughts. My thoughts are separate, and then I can I can distance myself a little bit from them and look at them from an objective viewpoint. And then when I come back to what I'm doing or who I'm with, I I feel like I've kind of dissipated that negativity and I'm more present and engaged again.

SPEAKER_03 37:42

Yeah, and I think that that's that's real.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

Well, what do you anything else you want to say before we wrap up, my dear friend? You've been amazing as I knew you would be.

SPEAKER_03 37:54

Um, I just want to be, I just want to be sure everybody gets the message about um you know being on a team and and and not doing well. People don't like it. They even don't like it worse when they're responsible for it. That's the reason they're not doing well. And alternatively, the the idea of being on the team work early home and having success. People like it. And then one more step away, things are going well. And they're there's the ones that are making it well. They like that. But all of that is make believe. Just like Richard Kipling said, it's a facade. It's not life. What life is is presenting yourself to people that um are exciting that you're you're you're taking responsibility for. You you want you want them to excel. And you show it through humility and kindness.

SPEAKER_01 39:28

So that's true per in your personal life with your children and grandchildren as and your friends. It's a per it's obviously true with your colleagues and your employees or your uh your clients at work as well.

SPEAKER_03 39:42

Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 39:46

Hey, are you gonna but before I wrap up, are you swimming today still? Are you swimming every day?

SPEAKER_03 39:50

Almost. Um, I am back from uh the the summer place, and I am uh I am in between uh that and um um going back to the Y. I have I have some uh physical things I'm working on, and then I'll go back to my swimming.

SPEAKER_01 40:10

And how long are when you're in K uh uh Marsh's Vineyard, how long, how far are you swimming every day?

SPEAKER_03 40:16

Um you know, it's initially it it takes me a while to build up, but like in every physical action, but usually a um a 40, 45 minute swim is uh is ideal.

SPEAKER_01 40:29

That's a great workout.

SPEAKER_03 40:31

It is.

SPEAKER_01 40:32

That's a really good workout. I'm I'm not a I can swim, but I'm not a really active swimmer. Um I can swim if I fall off a boat. Um I can get back on the boat and I can swim, I can swim to shore. But I've never swam in a like in a in a I've never swam for physical exercise. I I don't think. Maybe a few times in a pool, but I negligently. Um but um I respect anybody who uses that as a primary form of exercise because it's not an easy one.

Humility, Sportsmanship, and Team Behavior

SPEAKER_03 40:58

No, no, and you know, happiness is such an elusive thing. I uh I'll I'll give you one last tidbit from a lady down in uh Georgia, her name is uh Dr. Judas Joseph. Um talks about happiness is an external thing, just like you were talking about. Um but joy is internal. And so what she has done is she has trained me now to say during the day, similar to uh what we talked about before, only she ties it to um joyfulness, she says, if you will deliberately um say to your brain, this is a beautiful day. I'm really enjoying this day, or my meal, or my hugs, or my whatever. And the over uh a day's time, if you can get eight of those in, it's uh it's it's a it's a bundle, but it takes three or so three or four seconds is all it takes. And uh and then what happens is that you you you uh now training the brain again to look at the uh all the stack-ups of joyfulness you have, and that's what creates happiness.

SPEAKER_01 42:22

I like that. I like that a lot. It's a beautiful day.

SPEAKER_03 42:27

That's all it takes.

SPEAKER_01 42:28

That's all it takes. You know, it's a lot like practicing gratitude, writing down your things that you're grateful for. You know, it's you're just programming that brain to see the beauty in life, which what I read, and I know we have to wrap up here, I know your schedule's tight, but I read a study from the University of uh Berkeley or University of Berkeley in California, I think, or California Berkeley, I guess, that was done maybe eight or nine years ago that said because of our amygdala in our brain, for every one positive thing we notice in life, we traditionally notice nine negative things. And we can reverse that because we know there are thousands of positives for every one negative, but we see it almost the inverse of that. And if we can practice things like what you said, saying it's a beautiful day eight times a day, practicing writing down what you're grateful for, we reprogram the brain to see reality, which is far more positive than there are negatives. And that's been a big impetus to me the last two and a half, three years of practicing gratitude in my journal every day. And I've noticed it, it works, it works wonders, you know.

SPEAKER_03 43:24

It works because you're a good guy, too.

SPEAKER_01 43:26

Opinions vary on that one, Bart, but I'll take your opinion on that. My friend, I can't express how much gratitude and honor it is to have you back on the show for the second time. Um, thank you again for the wisdom you've shared today. This is 50 plus years of of professional wisdom and almost 85 years of personal wisdom combined into 45 minutes here. So thank you so much for being such an amazing guest on the Bamboo Lab Podcast.

SPEAKER_03 43:51

You're very welcome, Brian. Anytime you call, I'll I'll answer.

SPEAKER_01 43:55

I appreciate it. I'll be in I'll be in touch with you in the next couple of days, Art.

SPEAKER_03 43:59

All right. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

Goodbye, friend. Everyone, that was Art Delorenzo, as you know. And I gotta say this, and Art's off the show. Uh I have gotten to know Art really well over the past uh 15, 20 years. Not only a massive professional success in life, but a man who has changed so many lives. It's amazing how many people I mention his name to across the country, and they know art, or they know who he is, or they've seen him speak, or you know, they've been part of his programs uh in the past. Um and I really wanted to get him back on here. So I'm really glad you tuned in. I know there's some background noise, and I apologize for that. I did notice that my I'm actually recording this in Marquette, Michigan today, and I noticed I had a little knock at my door um uh at a couple of times during the show, but I don't think uh you picked up on that. But either way. Um anyway, again, thank you all for tuning in to this week's episode. I'll I'll be back again in a week. Um we got some good guests, some actually some amazing guests lined up over the next few weeks. So I appreciate your time. Um until next time, just remember to please go out there and uh strive to give and be your best. Show love and respect to others and back on yourself. And please, by all means, live intentionally and with passion. Take care, everyone.