"Selection is Destiny" with the transformational Beth Fisher

A life can look like momentum from the outside—30 marathons, corporate wins, a bestselling debut, a full speaking calendar—and still be built on choices that didn’t honor the person inside. That clash is where Beth Fisher found her pivot. We sit down with Beth—business coach, speaker, and author—to trace the arc from checklist living to clear-eyed selection, from noisy achievement to calm, durable contentment.

Beth opens up about the experiences that sharpened her discernment: surviving leukemia, navigating divorce, confronting a covert narcissist, and carrying the quiet weight of parenting guilt and empty nest grief. She doesn’t romanticize the pain or rush past it. Instead, she shows how to sit with it, journal through it, and use your body’s signals—sleepless nights, stress, fatigue—as data you can act on. Her central case is bold and simple: selection is destiny. Who you choose as a partner, the leaders you follow, the friends you keep, and the habits you repeat will script your next decade. Choose with non‑negotiables. Leave early when misaligned. Be more interested than interesting. And trust what your gut knows before your head admits it.

We also get inside her creative process—pantser first, architect later—and the story behind her books: Remorseless and the upcoming Selection Process: How to Avoid a Loser Relationship. From there, we widen the lens: stoicism as a daily practice, the power of solitude, and the “goose vs. golden eggs” mindset that turns outcomes into byproducts of strong inputs. When Beth slowed down—coffee under the stars instead of 4 a.m. grind—her work got better, her joy returned, and contentment replaced pressure. She still plays to win (hello, pickleball singles), but she’s done performing for the wrong audience.

If you’ve felt “something’s off” in your relationships, career, or routines, this conversation gives you language, tools, and permission to act. Subscribe for more candid, practical conversations on growth, share this with a friend who needs the nudge, and leave a review to tell us the one non‑negotiable you’re choosing next.

https://bethfisher.com/about/

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome Back & Why This Matters
• 1:13 Beth’s Story: Corporate Wins to Nonprofit Heart
• 5:32 Writing, Books, and a Hard Year
• 8:56 The Selection Process: Non‑Negotiables
• 12:15 Divorce, Narcissism, and Discernment
• 16:38 Parenting, Guilt, and Empty Nest
• 20:51 Grief Work: Sit With It, Go Through
• 24:35 Stoicism, Solitude, and Self‑Trust
• 28:15 Contentment Over Hustle
• 32:08 Interested vs. Interesting in Dating
• 36:17 What’s Next: Speaking, Leadership, Pickleball
• 38:54 Final Takeaway: Choose Wisely, Live Fully
• 40:45 Host Closing & Listener Actions

Transcript

Speaker: 0:00

Hello and welcome to the Bamboo Lab Podcast with your host, Peak Performance Coach Brian Bosley. Are you stuck on the hamster wheel of life, spinning and spinning, but not really moving forward? Are you ready to jump off and soar? Are you finally ready to sculpt your life? If so, you've landed in the right place. This podcast is created and broadcast just for you. All of you strivers, thrivers, and survivors out there. If you'd like to learn more about Brian and the Bamboo Lab, feel free to reach out to explore your true peak level at www.bamboolab3.com.

Brian: 0:41

Welcome everyone to this week's episode of the Bamboo Lab Podcast. As always, I'm your host, Brian. And today, for the second time in one year or about 11 months, we have an amazing lady on that I've gotten in over the years, and we've been friends on social media, we've been able to communicate. She's in a similar field as I am. I have a great deal of respect for. We did a podcast uh, I think 11, 12 months ago, and the audio was not, it just wasn't there for some reason. There was something between the lines, and I couldn't get it repaired. So I've been asking her to come back, and her busy schedule allowed her to come back today. So today we have business coach, we have speaker, we have author, Beth Fisher on. My friend Beth, welcome back to the Bamboo Laps. Thank you.

Beth: 1:23

Thank you, Brian. I'm happy to be here. I'm glad it finally worked out again for us.

Brian: 1:27

You know, it's so weird though. I felt so bad because we interviewed and then I just kind of forgot to tell you that it didn't go out. And I think it we reached out and then we reached out again. I'm like, oh yeah. Yeah, I think I did like, hey, there's some problems with it, but then that went on like a few months, and I'm like, I better tell Beth I can't put this out or something. So I felt bad. So I'm glad you're back on friend.

unknown: 1:47

Yeah.

Brian: 1:48

You've had a lot of things uh have changed in your life over the past year or so. So we have a lot of great things to talk about. So maybe it was a blessing in disguise that we weren't able to put that show out, but we're able to put this one out because you've got a whole more year of wisdom and experience lined up. So I'm just gonna start off. Can you tell a little bit to the of the audience about yourself, who you're who you are, where you're from, family, what inspired you? Just give us what you want.

Beth: 2:10

Sure, sure. So um I grew up in Northeast Ohio. I'm a Midwestern girl through and through, uh, went to the Ohio State University, and I now live in Michigan. So, right, that's the enemy state, but um beautiful here. And I um have I was raised uh to well, I grew up in the 80s, and I am sort of an overachiever by trade and have always been that way. So I learned, as I tell people when I, you know, public speak frequently, that I basically learned most of my education through the school of hard knocks, like what not to do. So I made all kinds of choices based on what I thought society expected and parents expected, and like the church people expected. And ultimately now in my early 50s, have come to realize that um, you know, that was just all um inaccurate, especially for me. And so I um uh really kind of failed, if failing is even a thing, um, the most relationally, but professionally has been great. Um, first 25 years of my career, I was in corporate sales and sold business process automation, like software. I was in the tech world. So I have a high acumen for um business processes. I love organizational change and I love people. I'm highly extroverted. So I love that career, 25 years of it. And then I also have a heart very much so for like marginalized communities. And then I moved into nonprofit and was the chief advancement officer of a homeless shelter for three and a half years. So I loved that work as well. Uh in fact, I have um it is, yeah, Meltder Ministries in Grand Rapids. Yeah. Um, so yeah, just you know, people who are experiencing hunger and homelessness. And for me, I'm a for any Enneagram listeners out there, I am I've been a three kind of my whole life, which is the achiever, no surprise there, but also very much an eight, which is kind of a oh, somebody who's very direct. And I love what a lot of people call confrontation, because I don't view confrontation as negative. I view it as, hey, let's like air out the differences and let's just figure it out. And so for me, I'm highly um equity and justice focused. So I have a real low tolerance for when things are inequitable. And for me, I can never reconcile the things in the world that just don't make sense. Like, I'm sorry, how do we live in the United States and people are hungry, right? And people are homeless. And so between that and then the people kind of in the cheap seats who say, well, they should, they, they, first of all, should just get a job. So my heart really um that that career path switch really um spoke to me because I was teaching devotions to the guests there for um, well, weekly for about five or six years before they asked me to come on staff. So really long-winded way to say I still help for uh nonprofits across the country for business process sort of like automation. I help them with development strategy, um with basically fundraising and helping out their causes. So I have a real heart for that. And I do a lot of public speaking and writing. So that's a really I'm trying to get there, Brian, but like you know, 52 years of information. It's kind of hard to like wrap that up.

Brian: 5:06

That was actually pretty succinct. I don't think there's any problem. Yeah, I did I did the Enneagram test. I you as you said that I think I took we discussed this last year, I think. But I did it, uh showed it to my friend Jill Johnson who uh administered it to me um probably eight, nine years ago. And I can't remember. I was just when you were talking, I was trying to Google to see if I had it somewhere. Or not Google, but uh I was on my uh my email to see if uh I have it somewhere, and I don't even remember what my results were. But I remember looking at it going, yep, that's pretty much me. Yeah um probably pretty similar to yours um in the achievements process. I don't I don't remember much about it, but um well I want to do shout out because I know six years ago you wrote a book that I believe was published in March of 25 called Remorseless. 4.5 out of five star rating on Amazon.com. So we'll try to include a link to that. And now your newest book will be released feb on Valentine's Day of 26th, right?

Beth: 5:56

That's right. That's right. Yes. So it was interesting. You know, I have always, always, always loved to write. I love words. Um, and it took me a long time to actually write a book, so I did it, and it was literally released March 6, 2020. So the speaking tour obviously was canceled, and it was just this whole thing I've of well, okay, let's let's regroup. But I enjoyed that process quite a bit um and still obviously very much love to write. And so for me, writing is twofold. It's cathartic, it sort of helps you process things that you've learned along the way. But more importantly for me is I like to be the voice, especially for women, uh young women, that I didn't have growing up. So that's really important to me. And yeah, this new book is called Selection Process How to Avoid a Loser Relationship. Something I know a lot about.

Brian: 6:44

I just love that title. And I think that's a really good thing. You know, you have the old um Dan Kennedy, I think it was, who wrote those series on no BS on sales, no BS marketing, no BS, you know, he had this kind of theme of no BS leadership, and he kind of stuck around that one theme of no BS style around all these mul uh micro topics. I think that how to that um selection process is like you talked about it before we started recording, could be used for so many parts of your life, not just relationships, jobs and bosses and friends and hobbies or whatever, you know. Yes. Okay, so I have a question for you. Um when you uh when you write, so I I I know not everybody in the audience is a writer, but you've now are just about gonna uh ready to complete your second book in really five, six years. When anybody how did you do that? Because for for me as a potential writer who has written a book but's just sitting in the in my computer, but it's not really good, so I don't want to release it, and I have a hard time going back to the laptop to write. So that can be applied to anybody who has something they want to do, but they just either haven't started it yet, or they're waiting, or maybe they've started but they haven't really been consistent with it. What was your secret to writing these two books? How did you get them completed? Is there a certain habit you've you uh practiced every day or anything?

Beth: 8:05

Yeah, it's a good question. And what has been um I guess was surprising for me for folks that have looked into this, there are kind of two schools of thought and two ways primarily by which writers write. Um, one is a pantser, like by the seat of their bands, right? And one is, you know, someone who plotters, somebody who maps it out. Here's my outline, here's what the chapter chapters need to look like, and so forth. And I am a very uh strategic, more so left-brained kind of person, um, certainly creative in the writing aspect, but by way of life, I am strategic, black and white. Here's how I plot out my plan for things. Like I've run 30 marathons. Here's my marathon training, here's how I plot out my day, my practices, et cetera. But I am an absolute pantzer when it comes to writing. So I don't plot, I yeah, I don't plot out anything. I as sophomoric as it sounds, I sit down and I just put words out. I take out what is in my head, and then it sort of all just kind of comes together. Obviously, um I'm a big Hemingway fan too, and Hemingway said, write drunk and it's sober. So um, yeah, so I sit down and I just write, and I mean I'm not fully drunk when I'm writing, but so it feels that way because there's no rhyme or reason to it. I just get it out there and then I go back and I say, okay, what am I really trying to say? Like what are the common threads? What do I see? Um, and how do I perhaps structure this? But I I structure it post-writing. I don't do it before because I feel like it inhibits me.

Brian: 9:36

Okay. I think I'm a pantser in everything. And I do, and I I have done the process a couple of years ago. I don't know if it was book writing or if I was just writing in my journal. A couple of times, after having a few drinks, I've sat down and wrote. And when I'm writing, it seems like the most profound stuff. You know, I'm like, this is amazing. I'm gonna make some great material out of this. I might publish this. And then I read the next morning going, what the hell was I thinking here? You know, but the but then you can go in there and pick out some cool stuff. Um I mean your brain is just a little more, maybe a little more relaxed. Um, I don't know. But yeah, I probably need to be a little more of a plotter. Uh like even just like for me, I've been thinking a lot um while I'm in the woods, is is maybe I just need to sit, say, okay, in that first two-hour block in the morning where I have my morning routine, I just schedule 15 minutes to sit down and write, and whatever comes out, comes out. Just get on the get on there, get uh open up my book for uh file and just start writing. You know, what's could you and then like you said, kind of edit it later. But but I won't be drunk at five in the morning though. It's not for a while.

Beth: 10:42

Yeah, I I write very quickly too. I just I get it all out there, I have a general direction about what I want to say, and obviously I have um many, many life experiences from which to pull. So I just here's what I'm saying, and then as I write those themes, then I remember, oh yeah, and and here's why I feel this way, because I lived through X, Y, and Z experience, and then I write about that experience.

Brian: 11:05

Yeah, that's a good way to do it. I just sometimes feel like I don't know, there's so much out there for me that I want to write about. And I'm like, I don't I have a difficult time narrowing it down. And that's really where my struggle is.

Beth: 11:17

Uh agreed. And I often have told people I have a hard time landing the plane because so many things, so many things interest me, and I can maybe figure out so many things and I enjoy so many things. So how do I decide what it is that I really want to focus on? But last year, Brian was uh pretty easy for me to decide what to write about because I just wrote my way through grief. Um, I went through a divorce and um found out that, you know, for the decade I was with my ex-husband, he had been lying to me. So it was he had kind of had a double life happening. So that was, you know, there that there was some there was some material there to work with.

Brian: 11:53

Oh, well, that's what I was gonna ask you next is in the last 12 months, what have been some of your greatest learnings?

Beth: 11:58

Oh, yeah.

Brian: 11:59

Well because I know it's been a tumultuous one for you.

Beth: 12:02

Yeah, it has been. And honestly didn't didn't see that coming. Um, and so I guess for your listeners, um one, I'm not a quitter. So, you know, yes, I got remarried more than once. And I I believe in the institution, my parents have been married for 53 years. Um and I think for me, this was the most difficult uh experience to go through because I was 40 when we got together and really had agency over that choice. Where I really two two marriages that I agreed, you know, to marry my former husbands, I don't feel like I had agency. Well, the first I married right out of college. And I did that because society told me and my parents told me, hey, you graduated in college. The next thing you do on this checklist, the next thing in life that you're quote supposed to do is get married. So I'm like, okay, I guess this is what I do, this is what everybody does. I didn't have enough um life experience that could say, no, you know, hold up. You don't have to do this. So that's my daughter's dad. My daughter's 28. Uh, she lives on the east side of the state. And grateful that obviously we had that time together because she wouldn't be here had we not. Um, and then um, about six months after she was born, her dad moved us seven hours away from family, friends, anything I knew. Uh, so I had a new baby, had a new job, I had postpartum and didn't know it. I was 23 years old. And he left us. He didn't, marriage was not what he had thought it would be. So I found myself in this unfamiliar territory, both physically and emotionally. And that's when I was diagnosed with leukemia. And they said, There's no cure for this, you're gonna die. So I had no idea what to do. I just envisioned my 18-month-old daughter growing up without me. I couldn't think clearly. I was in the state of shock, I think, more than anything. And that is when I got remarried a month before I had a bone marrow transplant. So to say that I uh was not thinking clearly is a gross understatement. I just um I couldn't think about anything other than dying. And somebody kind of came in, swooped in, saved the proverbial dying damsel in distress because I was certainly in that camp. I truly wasn't supposed to live. Um, and on the other side of that transplant, I was the only person that walked out of the hospital after being in there for 35 days. I was the only person that walked out alive. And I had survivor's guilt. Um, I didn't know that was a thing. I was 25. I had Catholic guilt because I was raised Catholic. I definitely knew that was a thing. Um, but I thought to myself, boy, I'm not gonna fail at this marriage because I signed up to do this and God had just saved me. So, like I am all in. And that marriage lasted for 13 years until I was 37 and he left me because this is the roomie, you know, somebody who's not dying of leukemia, somebody who likes to do things in the world, and that's not who he wanted. So he left me. So you might imagine I was kind of done with being married, and I was raising money for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society, and that's when I met my last husband. And um, what I learned is that there are, I don't, I'm not a fan of labels by any stretch. In fact, that's what my first book was about. Um, you know, just I think that labels are limiting, I think that assumptions are stupid, I think that we are all way more complex than being defined by again those constructs. However, however, I did learn that narcissists are a thing, especially co especially covert, you know, like when people who um I was targeted and I didn't know that because I don't view myself in any particular light, I just live life because that's who I am. And I just feel like very much he um didn't want me, he wanted the image of me. He wanted um to be married to somebody who looked and showed up in the world a certain way, and that's what he wanted to make himself feel better. And once he kind of rode those proverbial coattails for almost a decade and felt like he should be doing other things in the world without me, that's that's when all those things came to light. So he had many things happening behind the scenes that I was unaware about, unaware of.

Brian: 16:05

Well, that's on that sucks. And I I I think you know, you and I talked about this a little prior to the recording today. I think there are a lot of men out there. I well, I know there are. There's a shit ton of men out there who are very intimidated by women who are overachievers. I mean, 30 marathons, two books, coaching, survive leukemia. I mean, you've done so many things. And I think a lot of it I think it takes an extra incredibly strong man to be able to be perfectly fine with that, be supportive of that, to be proud of that, and to wear that my the woman I love is this person as a badge of honor versus almost a sign of you know, I I think you could be to a lot of weak men, you could be a mirror and a reflection back to them of who they're not and what they're not. And I I think that's probably true with you. You know, getting to know you and things like that. And um, I think that could be, and that's why weak men are the most dangerous of all men, in my opinion.

Beth: 17:02

Yes, I agree. I agree. So I have learned that um I need to have more discernment, even at this age. And so that's really why I wrote the book that I did. I I wanted to remind myself of those things so that the next time I am in a relationship, because again, no quitter, you know, I I truly believe in love. I believe in being a loyal partner, without, of course, all the labels around that. Whatever that looks like to be in a relationship that is fulfilling and is mutually um beneficial in terms of like, not not perfect, right? Because we're all, you know, imperfect humans, but like, but to have somebody who has your back who says, Yeah, you know what, I get your sense of humor. I am I'm wowed by the way that you think and your thing, your choices that you make, you know, I I believe in that. And so the book it was a way for me to remind myself of my own non-negotiables, but also to speak into the lives of young women and as they go out into the world and think, okay, what should I do next? Am I supposed to be with somebody? Because there are a lot of girls in college who look around and they see some of their friends, and maybe some of their friends are in these long-term monogamous relationships, and they're like, oh, that's what I should be doing. And my my whole thing is everybody, every single one of us knows exactly who we are. Sure, we change, we mature, we grow, we have learnings along the way throughout the course of our lives. But like, I've always known who I am. I've always known that I am a pretty ordinary, yet very loving human. I'm very sentimental. I'm like a walking contradiction, which is fine, but it makes some people uncomfortable. I've always known that about me. And so what's been interesting is that you either sort of um change who you are and assimilate, you know, you kind of fall victim of peer pressure because you're like, well, I have to show up a certain way if this person's going to like me. And you do get to a certain point in life, you're like, you know what, screw it if you don't like me. I am not everybody's cup of tea. Drink something else. That's fine. Um, I don't need to be, and nor does anybody else. So authenticity, I know it's has been a buzzword, but it's the most important thing is to be exactly who you are and let people decide if they like you or not. Otherwise, it's just kind of fake. And I don't do fake, and I don't think any one of us should.

Brian: 19:20

I agree. You know, one of the things I've learned, Beth, uh, lately is I and people have told me this. And I I've I've had a lot of relationships, and good or bad, and it's you know, I most of them are very, very nice women, and uh some many of them are still uh we're still friends. And um I have been told by people who enclosed me, I think you're just afraid of being alone, Brian. And I'm like, that's not it. You know, I just I love love. You know, I love I love feeling love, I love giving love. Um I'm I'm uh really much a hopeless romantic inside. I have a little tab on my phone with file on my phone where I keep loving memes that says in the title of that f file on my phone is my true love. And as I keep those little memes that are something that someday I'm gonna send these to the women I fall in love with finally. And but what I've learned in the last three and a half months is I've gotten a chance to spend a ton of time alone. And not even really alone. I'm alone all day. I do a lot of alone things. I mean, I'm in the woods for about an hour and a half every day running and thinking, and I'm journaling a lot. Well, I journal a lot, but I journal more, I just do a lot more difficult things and alone. And when I started this journey three and a half months ago, I thought to myself, I said this to myself, and I told my best friend Dave, I said, I love myself, but I don't know that I like myself because I don't really know that I know myself that well anymore. It's it's been kind of misconstrued. Um, and I it was about a week and a two week, a week and a half, two weeks ago, I was journaling in the morning and I f it hit me. I'm actually beginning to really like myself. Like I like being alone. I told my son-in-law the other day, I said, you know, you you kind of probably picked up on the fact that I really like I like being alone a lot. He goes, 'Yeah, I see that. And I don't know that I would have said that a year ago or two years ago, or ten years ago. I really like it. And I think with that learning, as it grows and manifests more inside of me, I'll be more prepared when I do find someone in my life who I can give my all to and accept all of hers to me because I'll know myself better and like myself more. Or I have friends who get a divorce or they or they break up and they're right away starting a date, boom, boom, boom, right away, and they're just going through this kind of they're just plugging holes in their lives, in their heart heart, so to speak. And I'm like, I and I think that was me for a long time. I really do think it was. Uh, maybe not recently, but it has been in my course of my life. So Um So let me ask you, so uh you've gone you've gone through some shit. And you know, starting with your early twenties with your leukemia and obviously uh having lost uh uh you know having gone through three divorces so far, and then last year being a you know a real learning year for you. Uh what do you think, how would when if I asked you to name one of your biggest challenges you've ever faced, what would which one would that what's the first thing that comes to your mind? And then how did you get through it to become the woman you are today?

Beth: 22:13

Um b biggest challenge, honestly, for me, has been parenting. Um a strong woman. She's a woman. She's gonna be 29 years old in February. Um I and I I think it's been the most difficult because I have a lot of I don't love guilt, but I have a lot of mom big mom feelings around, wow, I wish I would have done things differently. I truly wish I wouldn't have um got put put her through a situation of growing up in a divorced family. Now, I understand that that's very commonplace. I so and I understand that they're I mean, I've been through it, so I understand it. Um do I think that that is the worst thing that can happen to kids? I don't, but do I think that it leaves a lasting mark? Absolutely. And did I have this idealistic vision of you know, a solid family for her? Absolutely. I did. None of us get married to think that we're gonna get divorced. I mean, don't, you know, that's not top of mind on a wedding day, you know. So um so that's for me been the hardest um thing to overcome. It's just how do I remind maybe myself that I did the best I could with her and then hope that that is enough? Because I just I love her unconditionally. She's um the greatest blessing of my life. And, you know, I do a lot of things I think well in the world. And there are times I'm just like, I don't know that I did this well. And that's the one thing I wanted to get right. So I overcome it um by continuing to hear her. Um I do a better job now of listening to her instead of telling her. Um, of course, our relationship has completely changed because I am now coach as opposed to like, you know, um, the mom who's writing down rules and regulations and trying to like, you know, keep these teenagers safe when she was one. But it's just, it's hard. It's hard to let your kids go. Empty nesting has been brutal for me. And I would just kind of, I was like, you know, walk around in my condo by myself and it was quiet. And I like much like you, do enjoy being by myself because you, it's just it's peaceful and you can learn and you can be introspective. Okay, that's all well and good. But yet, like, where is she? Like, where's my kid? You know, it's like I really miss those years, and she doesn't have kids yet, so I don't have like grandbabies to pour into. So it's just this weird point in life of, hmm, boy, I that that's been hard for me to let her go, to let her shine. But yet that's what we do as parents. We raise our kids to be independent and healthy and good little humans. And now that I think I've accomplished that and she's doing it, I just want her to be happy. And it's like I don't talk to her every day. So it was just a weird vibe. Everything else for me, I'm I'm much more able to get through things that are hard for me personally that only affect me. But when my people are affected, that's hard for me because I just I love very deeply.

Brian: 25:08

Well, somebody told me on the podcast a couple last year, I think it was, and I think I know who it was, but I don't remember. I think anyway, she said, You're only ever as happy as your saddest child.

Speaker 2: 25:17

Yeah.

Brian: 25:18

And that really hit me in the sense that and what what I did is I went back and thought, oh my gosh, the things I did wrong as a dad. You know, I was a dad from 19. I mean, I was a dad every day from 19 until four years ago. So 54. You know, because I had my daughter, she was 16 when my son was born. So from 19 till 54, what how many years is that? 38 years? No, I don't know. A long time, anyway, 28, 38 years. I was a dad where I was needed on a consistent basis every day. Um, and then it just, it's like you said, the empty nesting, it's a bitch. It was just gone. It was like the the bottom dropped out of my life. I had just moved to the upper peninsula. I was alone a lot that summer, and my son was in college. My daughter was, thankfully they were only an hour away. But it was about a year or two, maybe two years before I really got my head out of my ass. And I was in a dark space. Because my identity was shot. Like, who am I? In I don't know if it was a conversation I had with somebody, or maybe it was something I thought of and said to somebody, but I realized that, yeah, they don't need me every day for the the minor things or the consistent things. They need me less often, but they when they do, they need me for bigger life decisions, bigger life questions, bigger life um opinions. And I that puts some solace in me. Like, okay, it's not a day-to-day, like, what are you gonna wear? Can I buy this jacket? It's more of, or what sport should I play? Now it's more of, hey, I have this question about work, or I have this, um, you know, I'm I'm looking at putting my resume out here, or a you know, parenting decisions and things like that that I'm getting more of, which it's not as daily fulfilling, but it's seems like it's a little bit, it's a higher level anyway. I guess that's the way I look at it. Yeah, that's a great way.

Beth: 26:57

Yeah, thank you. That's good. But yeah, that's been the hardest one for me because you know, cancer, there's a course of action, and you do the best you can do and you show up. And divorce is like, oh, you know, you just you have to. For me, I'm a big believer, and the only way out of anything is directly through it. So boy, I sat every single day, every morning, uh, for a year alone in my condo after I moved out, and I just processed. I processed, okay, what was mine to own? What was my culpability in this situation? What will I never do again? How now that everything is sort of very clear in the rearview mirror? Boy, did I miss that? Did I miss that? And you know, you just you process and you do what you need to do. And for me, it looks like a lot like praying and journaling and crying and swearing, of course. Um, but you know, in general, you feel the emotions and you give yourself a lot of grace and go, okay, got it. Now I'm good. And one day I just I played pickleball through the whole thing, of course, because I'm an avid pickleball player, but um yeah, life just keeps going on. It's not going to slow down for any of us. And we all go through highs and lows, and it makes the highs feel so much higher when you have things, backdrops of boy, I remember when that really sucked. But hey, you know what? Right now things are pretty good, and you just literally count your blessings every day. You're like, okay, today's a good day. I love it. I'm grateful. Let's go.

Brian: 28:14

Well, like they say, the past is a place of reflection, not a place of residence. And yeah, I love it. You know, one of the things that when you're raising kids, um, I heard this maybe a couple of years ago, and I repeat it to so many clients who have kids that when you're raising children, every day goes by so damn quickly. I'm so so damn slowly, but then the years and the decades go by so quickly. And that is so true with parenting. You know, it's like every day is just difficult, challenged, you're stressed, you're tired, you're worn out, you're worried, you're full of fear, anxiety, blah, blah, blah. Then it's 10 years later, 20 years later, 30, 40 years later, and you're going, oh my God, where did these decades go? I mean, I look at, you know, I get I get on Facebook memory or not Facebook, one drive memories every day on my phone, and I go through and I'm like, oh my gosh, I forgot when Dawson was eight and you know, Ashley was 32, or not 32, she was, you know, 20, 24 or whatever. And um at the time, I'm like, oh my God, I did those days seem like they were yesterday. But they were, you know, 13, 14, 15 years ago. Yep, very true. Well, I'm glad you're going through this. Uh and I like the fact that you said I'm you go through something. Because I hear a lot of people say, I'll get over this. Uh no, you don't get over anything. You get through something. And in order to get technically over it, you have to go through it. Um but I'm glad you're, you know, you're stronger, and I'm glad we had this opportunity, and we're we're not even close to being done yet, so but I mean I'm glad we maybe didn't have a good audio last year because you seem in a better place.

unknown: 29:44

Okay.

Brian: 29:44

There's a vibe there that wasn't there last year.

Beth: 29:47

Yeah, thank you. It is very true. You know, I'm always, for the most part, um a pretty upbeat person, and so uh that was another learning for me. You asked me some other, you know, kind of takeaways. And I have learned that sometimes I I don't need to actually just keep being so hard charging through something. When something is off and I know it's off, I should actually sit with it and try and say, okay, but is this situation worth actually going through and getting through and sort of like, you know, um sometimes it's it's better for me. And one of the things I put in my book, it's like, leave early and leave often, whether that's a job, a relationship, a situation, like there is something to be said for um being gritty, you know, because I have a lot of resilience and I have a lot of stick-to-itness. Like I just keep going, but often it's to my own detriment. Because had I had I actually stopped and said, you know what, this is not right. And there's not really, I think I used to view loyalty and um I'm trying to think of maybe a different way to say it, but like I just viewed me being tough and strong and being able to stick things out as like, this is the sign of true love. This is the sign of being loyal. This is what a true friend or person looks like. So maybe the person I'm with will will just get it that they see how hard I'm working or they see that I'm still here, and that'll like, you know, make them love me more. No, it doesn't. It really, it really doesn't. And so the only thing I'm really doing is kind of wasting time at that point. So that was a real learning for me, too. It's like, yes, I am in a much better place because I'm always an empty person. But again, that at times has been, I did myself a disservice with that kind of gumption. I should have been like, eh, no, you know what? It's okay to give up. And I just don't have that mentality inherently because I don't give up. I'm like, if I'm down whatever, 14-1 in a game to 15, I'm still, I'm still out there. I'm crushing people. I'm like, no, this game's not over yet, because no, it's not over yet. But there are times in relationships or again, career paths, or you know, pick a life scenario where you're like, no, you know what? It is over. And I don't need to win this game because this it doesn't matter. Like, what does winning look like? It still looks like it's not really trophy on their side. It's kind of just more of the same, which is wrong. People are, I think we all know if we are with somebody or contemplating being with somebody, that truly isn't right for us. And that equals settling. And I'd much rather be a quitter than a settler.

Brian: 32:19

I agree. I think I've done that a few times, and I'm sure some of the women who've dated me have settled. I do you ever listen to anything or read anything on stoicism? Oh, yeah. All right. Yep. There's a group, uh there's a um not a series, well, it's a series, I guess, but there's three or four podcasts uh um sorry, not podcast, YouTube channels that I follow. One is called the Stoic Journal, which is my favorite. Then there's The Stoic King, and then there's Psycho Restoration Stoicism. There were just podcast channels. And it's an AI voice, I think, but it's this deep, melodic, methodical voice that this guy and he just goes through a lesson every day about 45 minutes. So when I'm rucking every day, that's what I listen to on my headphones. And today's was I just pulled it up, it was The Way of the Stoic. It's a stoic journal. It's called Walk Alone, Rise Alone, Win Alone. And it was about settling in life for other people, whether it's a relationship or friends or job or um, and his the the he talks or this stoicism talks a lot about the beauty of being alone, the beauty of spending time with self and reflection and and being able to just sit in your own quiet and sit in your own pain and how much power there is to that, and how much we we strive so badly to avoid it when really that's the only way we can build. When I'm done here, I'll um if I remember, I'll try to remember, I'll text you a copy of the one I listened to today. But it's a really good series to listen to. Um every day is a different lesson on something to do with stoicism.

Beth: 33:40

I love it. I'm a big Ryan Holiday fan.

Brian: 33:42

I am too actually. I just recommended his book two or three times to or to two or three different clients last week, The Obstacle is the way. So I pulled my copy out and I have it sitting here on my desk. So this week I'll be going through it. Because I think I've read it. I think this would be my seventh time going through that book. And then the Daily Stoic is that daily I love that one too. Yep. Agreed. That's another one people are like, man, I used to post a lot of his stuff on social media like three, four, five years ago, and I didn't ever give credit. I didn't know you're supposed to give credit to the author. Now I do. Um but people say, Where's this from? What book is this? And I I don't know how many dozens of people, if not a hundred people, have asked me that on on social media, and I'd say, it's the Daily Stoic by Ryan Holliday. You know, so now I just credit you know, credit Daily Stoic Ryan Holiday. So but that's a really powerful book. Both of those are just fantastic.

Speaker 2: 34:28

Yep.

Brian: 34:29

Um What's the win for you? Right now you've got you're kind of reblossoming, I would say. You're kind of that Phoenix rising out of the out of the ashes, and I hate to use that because it's so cliche, but that's kind of what I see. And I picture when I think of you, um again, you're rising out of the ashes again to a better form of yourself. What's the win for you right now at your at this point in your journey?

Beth: 34:52

Um I think contentment. Um I am I think I'm slowing down. Now, if you ask people around me, they would not maybe call it that, but I feel like I am um I have more peace in slowing down a little bit. And what that looks like for me is I don't get up at four o'clock in the morning and knock out 15 miles anymore. I wake up, I have a slower pace, I grab coffee and go outside, I look at the the stars, right? I sit, I sit out, I am, I am more centered, I'm more in the moment. And that that took work for me to get there. And it's a really big win because I feel like every single day I just wake up and I have a sense of this is who I am. I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. I don't have this sense of um a need to perform or to achieve, or where's my to-do list? I just am like living life in a way that feels very freeing for me at the moment, which is a huge win. I love that so much.

Brian: 36:00

I think it's fantastic. Do you find that you are still able to accomplish the things that you set off to accomplish?

Beth: 36:07

Yes. And and and um sort of shockingly, or perhaps not for those of us who have gotten to this point more quickly than I have, uh, it's it's easier for me to accomplish those things. When I was hard on myself, when I was so rigid in my schedules, and yes, I could get a lot of things done, but I wasn't experiencing any kind of joy. I was just getting it done. And even on as an example, I was telling somebody recently, my mentality is such that because I am uh someone who always likes to uh grow and transform and learn and do better the next time, I would I would train and train and train for a marathon. I run Boston twice. And every time it had to be a PR, a personal record, a faster time. And so the even the very first time I ran and finished, which was a huge accomplishment, I was the type of person that would be like, oh man, I missed that by three minutes. That sucks. And they're like, What are you talking about? Why don't you enjoy what you just did? And I thought, yeah, but you don't know what I trained for. I missed it. I missed the mark. And for me, what's been freeing is I have a whole lot less marks that I have self-imposed on myself to hit.

Brian: 37:10

I love it. I I think that's what I find with most people. And it's so it's I I wish I would have learned this in my 30s. Um, because I hear it from so many people like yourself, people who are accomplished and successful and you know, overachievers overall in life, that when they do begin to really reflect on their pacing in life and on their uh, you know, kind of their more future forward uh momentum is when they stop and do recenter themselves, refocus on the present, they tend to have a lot more peace and contentment and happiness. But they also say the same thing. I get just as much done, if not more. I put out more higher quality work, I have higher quality relationships. And despite the fact that they've slowed down, they're actually moving forward at a more advantageous and advantageous pace, and they're just doing better work.

Beth: 38:00

Agreed. Yep. It's like it's a big win for me. Because honestly, had you asked me this even 10 years ago, if I thought I would be slowing down or really content, I would just have said no. And gratefully, it's untrue. It's it's where I find myself today. And it is, it's all the life lessons along the way that we all have that really kind of get you to the point of the realization of okay, like all of a sudden you're like, well, this makes sense now. Now it all adds up. Someday things will all make sense. And I'm in I'm living in those days where things make sense to me.

Brian: 38:30

I love it. Man, that's awesome. You deserve it.

Beth: 38:32

Thank you.

Brian: 38:33

Hey, you know what I just realized? I just sent you a stoicism thing a couple of weeks ago.

unknown: 38:36

Did you?

Brian: 38:37

October 5th. That's how much you pay attention. I just sent you another one. I noticed I sent you one on the 5th of October. It was one of those channels I listened to. Um, um, this was Force Yourself to Improve Every Day. I just said I just sent a new one. So Thank you.

Speaker 2: 38:53

Yeah.

Brian: 38:53

All right. This is my favorite question, actually. And I did I purposely didn't go back on the notes we took a year ago when we did our podcast because I didn't really want to be, I wanted to start fresh again. So I don't even know what your answer was back to any of these. But the question is, is you know, if we could go back and you pick a time of your life, Beth, whatever age, and we were to jump on a time machine, shoot back there, and you were to sit down on a park bench and talk to your younger Beth Fisher, what would you say?

Beth: 39:22

Yeah, I do like that question too. And I would say, tell him no. And that one, and that one, and that one. No, um, I I would I would say you already know the answer. Listen to yourself. Yeah, I would I would encourage my younger self to trust herself and to believe that she is smart and capable and has the answers already deep within her, as opposed to looking externally for validation and for other people to answer what again I already knew to be true.

Brian: 40:00

See, and I think so many people need to hear that. I was talking to a gentleman, Art Del Lorenzo, last week. He's been on my podcast twice. Art's uh just literally right now retiring at 85 years old. Goes to the ocean. Uh he's got a home in Martha's Vineyard, so he swims every day in the ocean for about 45 minutes. The guy is just an amazing specimen of a human, kind man. And he talked a lot last week on the show about trusting your instincts, trusting your gut. And how he gave some examples of how in his professional life he was able to do that when he was being advanced and promoted in the corporate world to, you know, high-level positions. And sometimes he just had to say no. It just the gut, everything looked good, the money, the promotion, the respect, the credibility, but it just something in his gut said no. And I know that's an area that I I told him I said I need to work on that a lot more, um, is is just trusting how I feel inside when I'm about to make a decision, either personally or professionally, because I've had some bad feelings at times, but you know, you kind of outweigh it and you kind of say, well, this is a this there's a lot of benefits. You kind of put it on a on a positive or negative advantages, disadvantages, or benefits to the disadvantages of chalkboard kind of, and you look at okay, which one outweighs the other? And it doesn't matter how many advantages there are to the disadvantages. If your gut says no, it's no.

Beth: 41:23

That's right.

Brian: 41:24

That is right. You know, here's a question I and you're into fitness and everything. And I asked Art this last week, and he didn't really have an answer because he wasn't sure. Now, a lot of the research I'm seeing now talking about gut health, you know, taking care of our literal our physical stomachs and our guts. And, you know, like, you know, kombucha and you know, different stuff we can use to help our gut, is it biomes binomes or biomes, I forget. Do you think if a person has a messed up, physically a messed up stomach, they're eating a bunch of processed shit, they're not, they're just not taking care of their gut. I wonder if that has a negative impact on your ability to trust your gut. Because your gut, even though they that's not just a saying, there's a lot that comes from our stomach and our decision-making process. I wonder if there's a bet a truth to that.

Beth: 42:13

Yeah, I think there could be. But one thing I have learned is that the mind-body connection is huge. Like I was telling somebody this recently that um my body historically, like as in all 52 years of my life, has known when something was off, even if my head didn't want to accept it or couldn't quite get there yet. My body just knew. Um, I have run races where I was so distraught emotionally, I couldn't finish. My body was in shape. I had done the training, but emotionally I was such a wreck that I couldn't, I couldn't continue. My body just could not take it anymore. And there have been times when I have been with the wrong person and I couldn't sleep. I couldn't, I look back now in retrospect. I didn't sleep well for 10 years. And it was very easy to say, oh yeah, that's because you're a menopause. Maybe. But but I'm telling you, I think I still am a menopause, and boy, I sleep like a freaking champ right now. Because that there isn't, there isn't this like danger. Something is really wrong. Our bodies protect us. And so to your point, yeah, our guts are meant to protect us. And so when we don't listen to it or we try to overthink a situation or talk ourselves into a relationship or talk ourselves out of a situation, it's like just listen to our bodies. And being alone is key to that because you know, society is so busy, our lives are so fast-paced that of course we just, you know, we shove food into our mouths when it's just convenient or whatever. And I am so much, I've always been intentional about it. Because for me, yes, food is an enjoyable thing to do, especially if you're having, you know, a nice moment with somebody that you are connecting with and you're having great conversation and you have friends, whatever that looks like, that that's an experience. But in the in the main, food is fuel. And so I I don't want to fuel my body in a bad way. And this, of course, has to do with my um probably my leukemia experience, which I'm convinced was environmental. I was a four-season athlete and I think it was from a pretty contaminated water source where I grew up. Um, yeah, it was like an Aaron Brockovich story. But all that to say our bodies know. And so our guts are always telling us something. And I think when people have stress, I think when they have IBS, I think when they have migraines, when they're not sleeping well, that means something is out of line.

Brian: 44:37

Yeah.

Beth: 44:38

No question.

Brian: 44:39

Well, that's a thing I've learned um in the last few three months. You know, I've always been a good eater. Like I've always been a healthy eater. I've always exercised and worked out, but it's been more like I don't have a uh I have a very d unadvanced, I don't know if that's the word. Anyway, I don't have a very advanced palate system. So I really can't differentiate high-quality foods from just good food. Like you give me a good hamburger, it and you give me a great hamburger, eh, I probably can't tell the difference. I really can't. So I'm at an advantage where I can survive off of meat, fish, some quinoa, a little bit of rice, fruit, and a lot of protein. Like I don't need a lot of stuff. Um and so I'm able to really do better at taking care of my stomach than others. And I've forced that the last three months. I've been really moniacely focused on that, plus a lot more exercise. And I find, for me anyway, that in alcohol, I haven't had a beer in 32 days, I think. 31, 32 days? I don't even miss it. Um, I've found I'm much clearer. I'm much more, I'm well, I I like myself more, so I trust myself more. I feel just physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually at a higher level than I've ever been in my life. And and that's true. Uh and um I think a lot of it is the fact that you know what you do with your body. It starts with the mo it starts with motion, it starts with what you put in and the output you put, you know, how you treat your body. And uh, a lot of us, I've been talking a lot to clients about getting a theme. Every year I have my clients select a theme or a mantra for the next year. If we always start that somewhere in October, okay, I want you to start thinking about what are you gonna, what's your guiding light next year? It's not a goal, it's not a it's just a a theme that you put out there and you I have people build come uh print up stickers. Like mine last year was um or two years ago was Live Clean, get dirty, which was it's a I'm looking at it because it's my uh the sticker on my laptop right now.

Beth: 46:35

I like it.

Brian: 46:35

Last year was expand and serve. This year I've been thinking a lot about this idea of um the goose and the golden egg, you know, the the Ace fable where this farmer has this goose who lays these golden eggs and he loves it, you know, get these golden eggs and he's he's kind of wasting them. So he gets greedy and he cuts the head off and disembowels the goose to go in there and get the rest of the golden eggs, and of course, there is no golden eggs because the goose has to produce them. And I've been thinking about that a lot as far as how that applies to our lives. And I think we're always uh, you know, you have to I think you have to determine what are your golden eggs. So what I learned over the last few weeks, just thinking about this, typically when I'm in the woods running, is I the ideas come up with me and thoughts, and it and I always have a little pad of paper and a pen in my pocket, so I write it down. I looked at what are the golden eggs I've been searching for all of my life? I've been chasing, I've been, you know, and it's been love, money, respect, and success are my golden eggs. And then I thought, but how much of my 58 years have I turned around and said, fuck those things. I'm not gonna focus on those. I'm gonna focus on building the golden, on the goose that can that builds or that that uh produces these golden eggs. And that mind shift has been almost a point of selfishness where I'm I'm more guarded with obviously what I do with my body, more guarded with my my spirituality, my praying, my journaling, my gratitude, um, who I associate with and spend time with. And what I find is that if I can focus on, if anyone, not just me, I'm just saying this is what my thought is for my mantra next year, I'm still does but if anybody can say, don't worry about the outcomes. Because if you chase things too much, they become very fast and they become very fleeting, and you almost never catch them. But if you focus on the machine, in this case the goose, that produces these outcomes, and you maniacally focus on development of that, whatever it is, your mind, your body, your soul, your emotional um uh, you know, strength, whatever it is, you're eventually probably going to get those golden eggs that you're searching for. Yeah, exactly. And it just people don't do it. It's like, you know, we we we love the ATM machine, but you know, you gotta you gotta fill it up with cash to get cash out, you know. And we are nothing but just a giant ATM machine with a little with some brain and some feelings. And whatever your m whatever your output is, is is you know, money, fame, whatever you're looking for in life. You gotta you gotta make sure you're filling it.

Beth: 48:56

Yep.

Brian: 48:57

It sounds like you've been doing a lot lately.

Beth: 48:59

It's very true. I have been.

Brian: 49:01

Well, okay, so the book is your second book, is it done now, or you still have more to before it gets published on the on uh St. Pat or Valentine's Day? Do you have more to do?

Beth: 49:10

It's no, no, I don't personally. It's done. It is um it's gone through the editing process. Right now, the interior design is happening, and that should be completed soon. So no, just getting ready to go to print, and I'm excited and do a little marketing for it and looking forward to it. Yeah. Selection tour.

Brian: 49:26

I love the name. I really do. I think that's a whole new theme of books that you put out. You we talked about this a little bit. I think you have a gold mine here as far as how the impact you can make on people. Is it is it is the book designed more for women, or is it kind of men, could men get a lot out of it too? I mean, sometimes women writing from a woman's perspective when you're going through something emotional or a man's perspective when they're going through something emotional tend to be more gender-focused.

Beth: 49:51

Yeah, well, for sure, you know, my target audience uh is female. Um, however, that said, I mean, how many, you know, uh men, yourself included, right, have daughters, have granddaughters, have friends that they work with. Um, so, or the thing is, you just, you know, you insert, you know, different gender, but the principles absolutely uh are upheld. And it's basically it's just using common sense, like as an example, one of the things I talk about, which I didn't understand, was uh to concern yourself more in the selection process with being interested rather than being interesting. And, you know, I would always go out or spend time with people. And I never thought to ask myself, am I even interested in this man and this person sitting across like, or or am I just so concerned with making sure that I'm being interesting to them? It's like, and I think from a female perspective, especially females of you know, Gen Xers, which I am, it's like we had were taught so much. It was ingrained in us just to make sure that everybody else around us feels happy and good, like be a good girl. Well, you know, I'm not really a good girl. I'm just really not. I'm I'm a kind and loving person, but you know, good is subjective. So it's like, it's like I was always just conditioned to make sure that the people who were around me felt comfortable. And by my inherent makeup, I often make people feel uncomfortable. Not on purpose, not unintentional or not and intentionally. It's this unintentional way of the way that I show up in the world sometimes makes people feel a certain way. And I used to have to, I felt like I should apologize for that. So I was a person who would always worry about hmm, am I being interesting enough to them? Am I making them feel comfortable? Instead of going, do I even like this person? Am I interested in what the hell they're saying? Because usually the answer was no. But yet I pretended. I pretended. Oh, yeah, tell me more. I didn't get no, I didn't really want to hear more. I wanted to leave. But I stayed because that's what good girls do.

Brian: 51:50

That's interesting.

Beth: 51:51

Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2: 51:53

Yeah.

Brian: 51:54

Huh.

Speaker 2: 51:55

It's the whole thing.

Brian: 51:56

Yeah. You know, I wonder if that is more, if women do that, tend to do that more. I think I think a lot of men, thankfully, not the men I associate with, but uh, there's a lot of men out there who when they go on a date or where they're with somebody, they have to make sure that that woman or whoever is around them realize that they are something pretty damn fucking special.

Beth: 52:14

That's what I'm saying. I hate that. Yeah. I hate that.

Brian: 52:19

You know, one of the things that um I've been working on, uh, the concept of alpha versus sigma. Have you heard of the sigma personality trait?

Beth: 52:26

I have not.

Brian: 52:27

This is so powerful. Um, I I don't even know if if the psychology has actually inserted it as one, but a friend of mine, um uh one of my best actually probably one of my best friends anyway, out of Texas. We were talking maybe four or five months ago and on a Zoom call, um, and he said, You're a Sigma. I'm like, I don't, oh, okay, what is that? So he described to me, so then I've done a lot of research. So you know I have you have in person area in styles or in hierarchy, I guess you have omegas, betas, alphas, you know, and um i i you know, the little chart alphas are supposedly the top dogs in the pack. Well, in reality, they're not. Alphas are not that strong because alphas require an audience. Alphas require someone to be who they are, they require other people for them to be who they are. So they're not. There's another group called Sigma. So if you look at a wolf pack, an alpha male, alpha female tight tend to run the wolf pack. Without the wolf pack, they're nothing. They are completely lost. But there's a second branch of um high achievers that are called Sigmas. And Sigmas are people who are iconoclastic, they are more um independent. They would rather not run the wolf pack, they'd rather go off and do their own thing the way they like to do it. And but they when necessary, they can come back and run the wolf pack, probably as well, if not better, than the alpha, male and female. And they're often used for counsel for by the alpha, female and male. Um, but they are just more, I'm gonna do things my way. I go on my own accord. Um, that type of personality is Sigma. And I think that's what I I see in you is more of a and I I I tend to be around more Sigma people. I looked at what once I learned this, I looked through all my clients of the last five years, who are my favorite clients. And I when I die, some go, that's a Sigma person. That's a person who thinks out of the box. You know, they don't have to have an audience for them to be feel fulfilled. They can go off and do something completely on their own, but they can come back and kind of entertain the audience and be part of it they need to, or be part of the group and pack. And I think that's kind of what you are.

Speaker 2: 54:35

You're sigma.

Brian: 54:36

Google that it's fascinating when you research it more. It's like you start to, I took a few tests and I'm like, uh it was pretty obvious. It a lot of people who have their own businesses, start their own businesses, are more Sigma. Um, and that's just one potential sign, but there's a lot of signs out there.

Beth: 54:50

So yeah, yeah, I will look into it. That's kind of cool. I like that thought process.

Brian: 54:54

What's next for you?

Beth: 54:56

Uh, speaking, a lot more speaking engagements based on the book. Um, I you know, I really want to go upstream. I would love to speak at colleges and universities, uh, women's groups, moms and daughters, whatever. But I really, really enjoy public speaking. I do it frequently. I talk a lot about on the topic of failing forward. So, what's next is that on the speaking circuit, uh, continuing to do some leadership facilitation, leadership development facilitation in organizations that fuels me as well. I love, as I mentioned earlier, business and change management and hitting revenue goals and just, you know, kind of transformational coaching, uh, whether within organizations professionally or personally within people's lives. I'm here to help and I want to get it done. And I also want to destroy people on the pickleball court, Brian.

Brian: 55:41

I've never played pickleball, but everybody asked me, why don't you play pickleball? I'm like, I don't know. I hooked. That's it. It hurt everybody who does it loves it.

Beth: 55:49

Yeah, yeah. It really fills my competitive um streak. It I love it. I play probably twice a day. In fact, I'm gonna go play here a little bit.

Brian: 55:56

Really? Here's okay. Here are my thoughts. The thing I like to do more than anything other than reading is I love to ruck. I love to put my 20-some pounds on my back and I do it too often. I I had it took yesterday off because I think I'd done 14 or 15 days with no breaks, and I like to go up the trails and I like to run hills. Now I got a kind of my my left cap has bothered me yesterday, my right knee, so I iced it and it took the day off. Um, but today I was back out there. I had a two-hour break before our coaching session, so I ran out there and did, I only did like three and a half miles, but um, I love it so much. It fills me emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically that I'm so afraid of trying something new that might mess my knees or my ankles up.

Beth: 56:37

Oh, I see. Yeah, well, that makes sense.

Brian: 56:39

And that's it. Because people are like, hey, we you know, I used to ski a long, long time ago. I haven't skied in 30 years. Um, and like, we should ski, you know, live in Marquette now. There's a nice heel hill. I'm like, nope, not gonna do it. I'm not doing, I'm not gonna golf. I never golfed. I've golfed like maybe 12 times in my life. I said, I'm not gonna pick up golf, might throw my back out. And I like to lift weights and I like to um ruck, which is already enough on my shoulders, um, as it is. So that's kind of my excuse. But maybe if I got a got a partner and play with some people who are actually just like me or a little like not so competitive, maybe I'd I know I'd probably like it. Because I heard it's a damn good workout.

Beth: 57:14

It it is, and I I like to play a lot of singles as well, which is an even better workout. So yeah, I'm I enjoy it, but that's really what's next for me is more of that and spending time with good people and really just every day, you know, showing up every day and trying to make a difference and just enjoying it and and just I I mean, I really I don't really have any sort of secrets about it. I just every single day want to get up and be exactly who I was created to be and live in every single moment and just kind of let things take the form that they're gonna take and enjoy it as it happens. Do you like yourself? Oh, better now than I ever have.

Brian: 57:50

That's the answer I wanted to hear. I got a question for you though. I want to ask this question. What is one hard thing you've done so far today?

Beth: 58:00

I played pickleball this morning and I played against against my mixed doubles partner, and he and I played pretty well together, but we were split on the court, and it's always very hard to beat him, but um, I got a couple by him today, so that was pretty hard.

Brian: 58:15

Perfect. I think that's the best question I could ask anybody. And I thought about that literally today while I was rocking. I thought, I don't know where it came from. Like I was thinking about the hard thing. What hard things have I done today, bro? That's what I started with me thinking, no one's a cold shower and this and that. And then I thought, that's a good question to start almost every coaching session with. What's one hard thing you've done so far today?

Beth: 58:34

Yeah, yeah. It was fun. It was hard and fun and well worth it. It's worth all the smiles, it's worth all the competitive, you know, uh razzing that goes on on the courts. And so, yeah, it's it's never easy to beat him, but I like when I do.

Brian: 58:48

I'm happy for you. Okay, one last question, because this is the kind of the net question, Beth. Is there any question that I didn't ask that I should have, or is there any final message you want to leave with that one audience member out there who's riveted to the conversation?

Beth: 59:02

Yeah, I I think maybe a questionslash also takeaway for me, one thing to leave people with is the premise of the book. Like when when people read selection process, what do I hope that they will walk away with? And what I hope they get out of that is to really contemplate and understand the importance of selecting the right partner in life. Because to me, I don't think there's any more important decision. And I think that, you know, we always hear the things that people that show me the people that you spend your time with, and I'll show you what the next five years of your life is going to look like. Well, what about the next 30 years of your life, right? What about the next, however long? But to make a decision without that discernment process, without a true selecting process, it's a fool's errand. And it will end up in divorce or it will end up in misery. It will end up in you not liking yourself or having to dumb yourself down or change your goals. And that's that's just not worth it. So I hope what people walk away with is the um the validation that they have been maybe looking for. And certainly, you know, somebody out there who says, it is okay to think about yourself. Doesn't matter that society has told you you have to think about others first. And if not, you're selfish, I disagree. Think about yourself. Think about the person with whom you're choosing to potentially spend your life and choose wisely.

Brian: 1:00:29

I can't imagine a better last answer or a last statement.

Beth: 1:00:33

You're awesome. Thanks for the question. I love spending time with you. Thanks for having me back on your show.

Brian: 1:00:37

Hey, well I'm going to be in Grand Rapids. I'm gonna I'll text you before I go let's grab coffee. Sounds good. Thanks, Brian. Thank you, my friend. Okay. Talk to you later. Bye bye. Ladies and gentlemen that was Beth Fisher. Um I just I I I can't speak enough for her. She's an amazing woman very inspirational, very transformational. That was the the word I got when I was talking to her today was transformational. She has done so many things to transform her lives, the lives of others and even talking to her, I felt transformed. I hope you all felt the same please click on go on Amazon, look for remorseless by Beth Fisher. Her new book will be coming out uh um uh Valentine's Day of 2026 called The Selection Process How to Avoid a Loser Relationship I think that's gonna be an eye catcher. Um anyway thank you all for tuning in. We'll talk next week same time same place. In the meantime please get out there and strive to give and be your best show love and respect for others and live with intention and also click the link to or subscribe to this podcast, whatever your platform is, uh rate review us, throw a little like down there and please share this episode with three people. I appreciate you all. Until next time