The Gap: Glimpses of Essence

This podcast explores the distinction between two aspects of self: the essential self, characterized by unconditioned awareness present from birth, and the personal (ego) self, a constructed identity shaped by experiences and societal conditioning. The ego self narrows our expansive consciousness into patterns and beliefs, obscuring our natural state of openness and wonder.

Despite this conditioning, moments of connection to the essential self can arise, such as during experiences of flow, presence, or deep connection with nature, art, or others. These moments reveal our innate wholeness but are often fleeting and overlooked, as the ego quickly reasserts itself. Understanding and stabilizing these glimpses into the true self can lead to a more fulfilling and centered life. Join me in discussing and practing the "gap."

Transcript

                                     The Gap: Glimpses of Essence

We have spoken many times about the two selves – our natural essential self of unconditioned awareness and our acquired personal self (our ego). The former is present at birth and the latter is gradually shaped as we leave infancy and mentally construct a personal identity to meet the challenges of human life.

The personal self progressively reduces the scope of our consciousness from our inheritance of a simple, innocent, and expansive consciousness to a limited set of beliefs, patterns, habits and perceptual templates. We shift from living in a wondrous open view of reality to one that is limited and conditioned by our past. 

Although obscured in adult life by the tenacious ego self, there remains a subtle continuous longing for the natural and simple presence of an open and unfettered awareness. There are moments when our essence breaks through – moments, for example, when we are absorbed in nature, music, dance, intimacy, and exuberance. In these moments our obscuring personal identity drops away, leaving a gap in which our essential self shines through, like the sun shining through a break in the clouds. We experience this as a lightness of being, a state of flow, a sense of wholeness and well-being.

Our usual self quickly takes over once again, obscuring the momentary touch of the true self. Not having a basis of understanding, we often perceive these glimpses as unexpected sweet and pleasant moments. We had the experience but missed the meaning. What we experienced was a moment of wholeness and flow, ever present but mostly obscured by our small self. What we missed is its meaning as a glimpse of our true self. Next time you have such a moment stop and abide in this glimpse of your natural essence.

The immediate question is how to hold and stabilize these moments, these glimpses of the deeper self. That, cannot be accomplished by force of the ego’s will, by effort, or wishful thinking. But there are approaches and circumstances that will point us towards these gaps in our usual consciousness. 

We can increase the probability of creating a gap through the practice of meditation. As we intentionally withdraw our attention from random mental activity – thoughts, emotions, imagery, and sensory impressions – and abide in an observing awareness/presence, the mind slows and a calm stillness reveals itself. That stillness, with stability and patience can give rise to the momentary, or longer, dissolution of our ordinary self, leaving an open gap. In that gap we can abide in our essential expansive self. With time and practice these glimpses will become increasingly stable. 

Although we usually do not notice the gap between two thoughts or feelings it is always there. Watch your mind to see if you can notice this gap. You can intentionally create it by holding the breath. Take a deep breath in, exhale, and then hold the breath for a comfortable period of time. Notice that during the breath hold cognition and mental activity ceases. Amazing. This occurs physiologically because breath-holding is one of a number of actions that suppresses the neural default mode – the series of brain centers responsible for the active mind.

You will experience an extended gap. Remain aware. Do not analyze or comment. Merely abide in this gap, subtly aware of the stillness and presence. That is who you are! You may work with this during your daily routines or use this method to deepen your daily awareness practice and extend the gap. 

Another approach you can practice during the day is to intentionally stop your mental activity for a few moments and notice the ensuing gap that is present before mind talk resumes. Practice this frequently and it will slowly integrate into your daily life.

 The gap, however it comes about, is a break in the dominance of the personal ego “I” which allows a glimpse at the underlying and ever present natural self. In time these gaps will gather together and create small islands of presence in your life. Slowly, this openness will once again become the foundation of your life, replacing contracted, limited, and judgmental self. You will notice this in subtle ways – a calmer life, less reactivity, less busyness, and more of a desire to just be.