Storyteller Renée Lopez has lived a life of activism, challenging disability stereotypes, and deep friendships. She returns to True Tales with a new story "Me, Myself, and Sandra" about her experience as a Freshman at UT Austin. Host Kristen Gooch and Renée chat about Renée’s passion for social justice and her 40 years of Activism, fighting for Liberty and Justice for all. Their discussion covers what Renée’s learned about self-advocacy, to her understanding of government oppression, her fight for accessible housing to her support of Black Lives Matter, as well as the importance of self-care and the power of friendships over 60 and becoming your own version of the Red Hat Ladies.
Guest Renee Lopez
I am a 61-year-old woman with a physical disability (I use a wheelchair). I was born and raised in Austin, Texas. I have lived here my entire life. I graduated from the University of Texas in 1984 and 1986 with a BA and an M.Ed. respectively. I worked for the State of Texas for 30 years and am now retired. I have a long history of advocating for the rights of people with disabilities since 1982 as a student at The University of Texas. As a student with a life-long physical disability, I joined other students with disabilities for campus accessibility. I continue to advocate to this day. I have been on the Advisory Board for SAFE Disability Services since 2010. I have attended conferences on behalf of SAFE as a workshop presenter teaching and informing conference attendees on issues of violence and abuse against persons with Disabilities. I am also a member of a core group of a coalition put together by the VERA Institute of Justice on ending violence against people with disabilities. Social media: https://www.facebook.com/renee.lopez.31945 Renee’s Accessible Housing video - AHA Renee Lopez Accessibility Home Tour "How Lucky" by Will Leitch
Host Kristen Gooch
Kristen Gooch is an Actress, Poet, and Advocate from Austin, Tx with Cerebral Palsy and uses a wheelchair for mobility. She hopes to broaden her horizons and branch out into film and television someday. She currently facilitates a peer support group called Adapting Sheros for women with mobility disabilities through Imagineart. She is a company member of TILT Performance Group and the Paradox Players.
Welcome to True Tales by Disability Advocates, authentic voices of people. thriving with disabilities. Where individuals use the art of storytelling to change the world. The True Tales by Disability Advocates Podcast is produced by Art Spark Texas, Speaking Advocates Program.
MsBoye:
You are listening to True Tales by Disability Advocates, season two. The Podcast where Advocates harness the power of storytelling to build community with their peers and hope to develop empathy in others. Recognizing that everyone's life is enriched by the inclusion of multiple voices, Art Spark Texas has been training Disability Advocates as storytellers for over 20 years. A team of these Disability Advocates creates True Tales to give Disabled Storytellers the opportunity to share their personal stories and lived experience in their authentic voices. We offer our unique and often underrepresented perspective to the growing community of podcast listeners worldwide.
MsBoye Live Radio:
Sit back an enjoy this episode,"From Self-Advocate to Red Hat Lady", featuring host Kristen Gooch and Storyteller Renee Lopez.
Kristen:
Welcome to True Tales by Disability Advocates, the podcast where we change the world one story at a time. I'm Kristen Gooch, and I'm your host. I'm here today with storyteller Renée Lopez, who will be sharing her story,"Me, Myself, and Sandra." Hi Renée, how's it going?
Renée:
Pretty good. Pretty good. I just got home about 20 minutes ago and I'm, I'm good to go.
Kristen:
I'm so excited that you're back for Season Two. I'm so happy you're here and that I get to interview you this time. Our listeners may remember your story,"Witchy Woman" from Season One, and it was great and I can't wait for them to hear this next story.
Renée:
Well, thank you. I'm excited to be here.
Kristen:
Renée, I don't wanna give away anything about your story before our listeners get a chance to hear it. But with that being said, I think it's really important that all young adults with disabilities and their parents, guardians, other family members get to hear it as well.
Renée:
Thank you. I'm, I'm happy to share it. I feel like I've learned a lot and, and I like sharing that with others that are younger(laughs)
Kristen:
What inspired you to write it?
Renée:
Well, um, I was taking, um, OMOD, which is Opening Minds Opening Doors, and where we wrote stories about our lives. And, um, I was just remembering the experience I had when I first had to have an Attendant and I thought that would make an interesting story because, um, what transpired is really what changed me into, uh, well, it matured me, let me put it that way. And I learned about myself and what my needs were and thought it was something, um, I could, others could use as well.
Kristen:
I agree. So, we can't wait to hear your story.
Renée:
I'm Renée Lopez and this is my story. It's titled"Me, Myself, and Sandra" But first I wanna give you a couple of definitions. The first word, noun, Victim: A person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime accident, or other event or action. Synonyms are: sufferer, injured, party, casualty, loser, prey, stooge, dupe, sucker, fool, chump. The second word I want you to remember is also a noun, Victor: a person who defeats an enemy or opponent in a battle game or other competition. Synonyms are: winner, champion, conqueror, conquering hero, vanquisher, hero. Up until I went to college, all my physical needs were taken care of on my family or the staff and aides at the hospitals, schools and rehab centers I went to. But when I went to University of Texas as a freshman in 1980, I had to live in a dorm. All freshmen had to, unless like me, your family lived in Austin and you could opt to live at home. But eager to be independent. I chose to live in Jester dorm. My dorm room was very small with two pull-out beds, two small desks, a sink, two small closets and a community bathroom down the hall. It felt like a shoebox or a jail cell! It was then, that freshman year that I found out I had to hire my own live-in Attendant. Well, how in the world do you do that? I had never done this before and had no clue as to how, how to go about doing it. I guess I thought an Attendant would magically appear and instinctively know what to do for me. I received two Attendant referrals from Disabled Student Services, but it was up to me to interview and hire. I interviewed the two referrals with my mother and chose a young woman who seemed very mature and was a hairstylist by trade. I could just imagine all the hairdo's she could do to my hair. How cool was that? The night before we were to move into the dorm, my mother received a call from this mature hairstylist. She had changed her mind about going to UT and she was so sorry, but she was going back to her boyfriend in Arkansas. My mother didn't tell me till morning, she wanted me to go ahead and sleep for the night. But when I got up, panic ensued. I quickly called the other referral that I had turned down to ask her if she was still interested in the job. She emphatically said,"No!" Then I heard laughter in the background. It turned out she was friends with the other girls on my floor, and I had made the big mistake of not hiring her and her friends were now against me. Great start to college. At the 11th hour, I get a referral named Esther, and I hire her on the spot. I move into the dorm with Esther as my roommate, Attendant, and with enemies all around me. From the very beginning, I didn't like Esther. She had never been an Attendant and didn't take my needs seriously, you know, the way my mother did. She was also a music major, majoring in the oboe, which was really annoying to me when she practiced in the shoebox of our room. You can imagine what I wanted her to do with that oboe! On top of being shy, I was also afraid to venture out because of the"Mean Girls" all around me. Those bitches. I became lonely and reclusive. Esther made friends with the girls in the dorm and had a boyfriend within weeks. I hated her. My biggest emotional growth spurt occurred when I got to my dorm room late one night. I was expecting Esther to be there waiting for me, but she wasn't. I wondered where she could be at 11:30 at night. I piddled around the dorm room waiting. By 1:00 AM she still wasn't there. 2:00 AM, nada! I was starting to panic. It was not too late to call my mom. Not that I wanted to, because I didn't want to hear the,"I knew this was gonna happen!" And the,"I told you so!" Actually it was too late to call anyone at that ungodly hour. Except my friend Sandra. Sandra had Cerebral Palsy, was three years older than me and lived independently in her own apartment. So she knew the score. First, she let me cry and helped me calm down so that I could think. I remembered bringing my dressing stick and other assistive devices. But in the dorm, as at home, they were in the closet collecting dust. I took them out of the closet and with Sandra on the phone supporting me all the way, three hours later, I got out of my leg braces and my clothes and into my nightgown. By 5:00 AM I was ready for bed, Sandra and I hung up. I turned out the light and got into bed. I felt strangely different. I had a smile on my face. I had done it. I had taken care of myself. I realized that I will always need an Attendant, but that night I went from Victim to Victor.
Kristen:
Welcome back. I'm here with Renée Lopez. Renée thanks for sharing your story with us today. I find your story very relatable. It highlights the importance of advocating for your own specific needs and having access to a strong support network while transitioning from high school to college. I know that it can be exciting going off to college and living in a dorm or living on your own for the first time. But it can also be very nerve wracking. And I also know, from personal experience, 18 and 19 year old girls, they're adults, but still immature. And as a result of that can be really bitchy, sometimes. And it can also be, well, it's difficult for all college freshman starting out, but especially when you have a Disability. There's more to think about, your academic accommodations and also finding an Attendant to help you with your habilitation needs, your a, your, uh, ADLs activities of daily living, and the university doesn't provide that for you. Um, I know that your experience happened in 1980 and things are better now, but it's still an issue. If you had a teenage daughter or a niece going off to college, what advice would you give her?
Renée:
Err, yeah, Kristen, this, this happened back in the 1980s. Uh, and certainly campuses are much better now and, and certainly more accessible. Um, but I think, uh, teenagers or, you know, young adults, I guess are probably pretty much the same as they were in 1980. Um, if I had a teenage daughter, and I do have nieces actually, that are starting college this year in September. My advice to, they're not disabled, but my advice to them is, um, to, uh, be yourself and not be afraid to speak up and, um, you know, to, uh, to have faith and trust in the whole process. Um, if I had a disabled, uh, daughter or niece, I would definitely teach her to, uh, speak up and to know what her needs are because, I think what happened with me was that, um, my, my family unintentionally and including school, uh, and rehab hospitals, they never, they just took care of your needs because that was their job. But I was never taught to ask for what I need. So I went to college assuming that people were just gonna know what to do and um, so that was, that was the biggest lesson for me was that I had to figure out what are my needs, uh, what do I need to have done, what are my expectations, and be able to, uh, express that to an Attendant so that we have better communication and that my needs are met. And that's, that's one of the things that would change now.
Kristen:
Great! Um, I know for me personally, when I graduated from high school in 2003, people told me ahead of time that, oh,"You need to be your own Advocate. You need to speak up." And it's not that I didn't believe'em and I started doing that when I was in high school, but it's a lot different when people tell you that, versus you find yourself in that situation and it becomes very real.
Renée:
Yeah, it does, and I, I wanted to tell you too, that's funny that you started, uh, understanding the word Advocate at a much younger age than I did. I didn't even know what an Advocate was when I went to college. And, um, I, I think that the big difference between when I went to school and the people that go to school now, is that they are learning at a younger age how to be more aware of their needs themselves in society. And when I was growing up, it was still assumed that, um, yeah, okay, I was going to college, but I was probably always gonna have to be taken care of by family members. And so it probably, it just never occurred to anybody to teach me about Advocacy or Self Advocacy.
Kristen:
Yeah very true. Um, well, another interesting thing that I had that taught me that I really needed to Advocate for myself, is my sophomore year, my one-on-one para-professional was actually a paraplegic, uh, her name was Amanda. So she really, um, she was like,"No, you need to tell people exactly what you need. You know, even if it's something as simple as taking something out of your backpack so that you can hand in your assignments, nobody's gonna immediately do that for you. So always speak up."
Renée:
Right, exactly.
Kristen:
So, Last year I started a peer support group for women with disabilities, uh, women with Mobility Disabilities called"Adapting Shero's." Um, where we get together and, you know, non-judgmental, uh, safe, relaxed environment, and we talk about what's going on in our lives and about different strategies of handling things when you have a Mobility Disability. Like uh, dressing, putting on makeup, um, therapies, sharing stories like that. It seems like your friend, Sandra, she... Was she like that for you? Did she help you learn like some of the tricks of the trade, so to speak?
Renée:
Oh yeah, she definitely did. She was, uh, she was very independent and I really admired that, and I wanted to be like her. I, I couldn't wait to have my own apartment and have a job and drive a car and everything she was doing, and I just was, you know, like,"I wanna be like Sandra". And um, but at the time nobody else said, you can be like Sandra. So, um, I wasn't sure, but you know, I would, I hung around her quite a bit and um, you know, I was able to watch and see how she did things and how she spoke up and how she didn't, she didn't take anything lying down. And, uh, even though I was very quiet at the time and in the background, most of the time, I really. I think I learned a whole lot by her and I've always been very grateful to have her in my life.
Kristen:
So how did y'all meet?
Renée:
Sandra and I met in elementary school. Uh, we were both in Special Education at Go Valley Elementary. Uh, back in the sixties, uh, Special Education included everybody regardless of your Disability, and, uh, she and I were in class, uh, in the same class and we just became friends, you know, from a very young age.
Kristen:
Sure. Do y'all still keep in touch?
Renée:
Uh, yes, we do. Uh, we don't hang out as much anymore, I live in Austin and she lives in San Antonio. And, uh, because we're, we've gotten so much older, we're in our sixties...
Kristen:
mm-hmm.
Renée:
...um, it's, it's a lot more difficult for us to travel and get around and, um, I can't go spend the night at her house like I used to. And, uh, she doesn't drive anymore. So, uh, but we do keep in touch now and then.
Kristen:
Well, that's good. She seemed like a really special friend.
Renée:
Yeah, she, she was and she still is.
Kristen:
Yeah. So, I know that this is, or that this was a painful experience with dealing with Esther, the annoying roommate, and...
Renée:
(Renée laughs)
Kristen:
...having, you know, the Attendant that you, well, having someone who you thought was gonna be your Attendant. Um, and give you all kinds of fabulous hair styles. Um, I would've hired that person at 18 myself, um,
Renée:
(Renée Laughs)
Kristen:
But what did you learn from that?
Renée:
Well, you know, in hindsight, I think it was probably one of the best things that ever happened. Um, yeah, it would've been great to have somebody doing my hair and makeup and all that and, and, you know, um, looking pretty, I guess. But, but I don't know that I would've learned anything, uh, about being on my own. And, um, so, you know, life knows what it's doing and it turns out that Esther was the best thing for me. Now I look back on it and I'm really grateful to her. She, it really wasn't her fault that she wasn't a very good Attendant. Um, it was my fault for having the assumption that Attendants were gonna be like my mom and anticipate my every need and just take care of me and love me and hold my hand. And, you know, and it was a, a rude awakening to find out that, uh, people are not like that and they're not gonna do that and they really shouldn't. Um, I was, I was an 18 year old, and, but I still thought I was like six, you know? And, uh, so I grew up really fast in that semester, uh, having Esther as my Attendant. And, uh, over the years I learned how to speak up for myself and how to, um, you know, uh, know what my needs are and, and how to make them, you know, how to meet those needs. And, uh, at the same time, you know, being friendly with your Attendant, it wasn't necessary to, uh, always be friends with them. Uh, sometimes the lines can get blurred and it's, it's good to have a, a, like a boundary where your Attendant always knows that she's hired to take care of you and, uh, not, not so much to, uh, be there to tell you how to live your life. Um, usually what I look for in a, in an Attendant, uh, one of the things I ask is, um, for punctuality and, uh, when I was working, I worked for 30 years for the state of Texas, and it was very, very important that, uh, my Attendant be punctual because I had to be at work at a certain time. So one of the things I always said, like,"You must be on time. You have to be here at seven o'clock because you need to get me dressed and I have to be at work by nine." And and you know, also, um, the boundaries where, uh, I want my food cooked, for example, the way I want to eat it and not the way you want to eat it. Um, so I give the example where I had an Attendant once that for some reason she loves salt and she over salted everything. And, uh, whenever I have too much salt, well my feet swell and stuff. So I started telling her, please don't put any salt in. And she goes,"Yeah, but that's how I like'em." And I said,"Well, yeah, I know that's how you like'em, but I'm the one eating'em, so please don't put any more salt on my eggs." And she says,"Yeah, but that's how I know how to make'em. And it kind of went back and forth like that. And I finally decided, okay, I'm just gonna have to hide the salt. So that's what I ended up doing. And um, so every Attendant, like every person is different. Um, but you know, mostly what I look for is. you know, uh, uh, make sure that they are really interested in this job, that they're gonna stay a while because I don't want a revolving door of Attendants. Uh, I like for them to have a car if possible. Uh, well actually, yeah, because riding the bus and when the weather's bad can be, um, can really delay everything. But if I had to, I would hire somebody who had to ride the bus. Uh, but mostly, uh, reliability, you know, I try to get them to understand that I am relying on their, on their work to come in and help me get dressed so that I can live my life. And it's important, it's not the kind of job where you can just call in and say, uh," I'm not coming in today. Uh, you know, I overslept," or, you know,"I don't feel like working today," or"I'm gonna take my kids to, uh, the waterpark,"you know,"so I won't be in today." Because that leaves me in a really bad situation and I have to call for a backup, which as you know, right now is really difficult, we, there aren't very many Attendants available right now. So I make sure that they're, um, you know, that they realize how important the job is. And, um, you know, I always try to be, uh, upbeat in my, in my mood, you know, if I have any uh, issues going on with me. I set'em aside while I'm dealing with the Attendant, cuz I don't want, I don't think they should have to come into my house and have to deal with, um, whatever issues I'm having. I can set that aside, deal with what I have to deal with and get my needs taken care of and then say, okay,"Thanks for coming in. I'll see you tomorrow." And then I get back into my life. So that's usually what I do.
Kristen:
That's a very good point. Well, I know that your first experience with hiring an Attendant that was in college back in 1980. Were there Medicaid waiver programs back then?
Renée:
Yes, there were. Um...
Kristen:
Okay.
Renée:
Yeah, there were, but um, what I went through a was back then called TRC, which is Texas Rehab Commission, and they paid for the attending care and the Attendant. They paid for their room and board in exchange for being an Attendant, and then they got paid, I don't remember how much I wanna say 150 a month, which doesn't sound like much, but it was, it was enough back then. So they actually got free room and board while in college for being an Attendant. So it was a good deal.
Kristen:
Wow! I know you were saying that it's really hard to find an Attendant right now, but that's not just limited to the pandemic. It's hard to find an Attendant because we can't pay them very much, and there's no health insurance, dental insurance, there's no worker's comp. I know that this issue you became very passionate about when you were in college. What other issues are you passionate about?
Renée:
Well, um, I'm very passionate about many things that have to deal with, uh, people with disabilities. I do wanna say that the issues with Attendants right now is, uh, like you were saying, the pay and one of the things that, um, Adapt of Texas is, and the PACT is working on, is trying to get Attendants to get paid more money because we've reached a crisis, where we cannot find Attendants and really who wants to work for, you know,$8 an hour or$7.59 or whatever it is now? It's just, it's ridiculous and we're trying to get them, uh, to give us, give more money to the programs so that, uh, we can start getting Attendants. Uh, right now, um, Attendants are getting paid less than fast food workers.
Kristen:
Yes.
Renée:
You know, you can get, you can get paid$15 for flipping a hamburger, but only$8.11 for taking care of a person with a Disability. Well, all they want is to live in the community. They won't be able to work, and we just wanna live our own lives. But we just need a little help. And, you know, it shouldn't, it shouldn't be, uh, such a low pay and we keep working really hard about that. Another thing I'm passionate about is housing, um, especially accessible, affordable housing in the community. Uh, I'm on the board of Accessible Housing Austin, and, um, we have a 27 unit apartment that has, uh, that's fully accessible and we have, um, uh, duplexes and they're also fully accessible. Uh, we had decided many, many, many years ago that people wanna get out of nursing homes and they don't wanna have to live with families or live in an abusive relationship just because, um, there's no place to go, there's no place to live. And so, uh, for many are on Section Eight or are under unlimited income, like SSI or SSDI. And, with the cost of living, uh, where you supposed to live? So we work really hard right now on affordable housing that's, uh, integrated into the community.
Kristen:
Yes. Are there any other passions that just light a fire under you?
Renée:
(Renée laughs) Well, you know, I just started, um, something that, uh, I never realized before, and that is the oppression that comes from the government. Um, for example, uh, you know, SSI, uh, doesn't allow you to, uh, get married, for example.
Kristen:
Right.
Renée:
Or you lose your benefits. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. If you go to work, you lose your benefits. And I think what, uh, what it does, it, it keeps people oppressed. And to me that's a form of violence. And, uh, so I'm working with, um, the Institute of Justice and with the Activating Change, these are other organizations I work with...
Kristen:
Right.
Renée:
to bring about changes in those old, antiquated, a laws, you know, that, that don't make sense anymore really. And, uh, there's no reason for two people with a Disability who are on SSI to not be able to get married and have to pretend to just be roommates, so that they don't lose their, um, their benefits. And to me, that's just ridiculous. You shouldn't, it's not like you make a lot of money anyway, you know, so...
Kristen:
Right.
Renée:
...why take it, take away the little bit they have. So, um, I'd like to see that changed and I'd like to see, uh, you know, the, that you're not gonna lose your money if you try to get a job, uh, because I think that's a, a great fear. And then also when you're on SSI, because the money is so little, you have to go on housing programs like Section Eight and that puts you in apartment complexes that may not be very good. For example, I lived in an apartment complex when I was on SSI one time and there were drug addicts and uh, drive-by shootings and things like that. And I thought, I don't wanna live like this. And, uh, you know, but I didn't have a choice at the time. I was in college and I had an apartment, but, uh, you know, that was the only place I could live. And my rent was$75, but, you know, you had to watch out that you didn't get shot.
Kristen:
Right.
Renée:
So, um, you know, uh, so all these things that happened to me motivate me today to continue working on those issues. Because I don't think people wanna live in those conditions.
Kristen:
Right, everyone's entitled to safety and dignity. Would you mind telling us why was that policy put in place with, if you're on SSI and if you get married, you'll lose your benefits?
Renée:
It was additionally put there because they didn't want, uh, people with disabilities to procreate, you know, they didn't want'em to get married. They're gonna have babies that are gonna be disabled, and then we're gonna have to take care of'em, and then we're gonna have more people on Disability, you know? And, and I think that's why that was put in place...
Kristen:
Right.
Renée:
...it's eugenics.
Kristen:
Yeah.
Renée:
Mm-hmm. And it's the same thing as sterilizing they used to do with, uh, individuals with Intellectual Disabilities like Down Syndrome. They would sterilize them so that they couldn't reproduce. And I think the Section Eight, uh, housing limitations and the SSI limitations are there for that very same reason.
Kristen:
That's disgusting. And it's so disturbing that in 2022 we still have that policy.
Renée:
Right. Yeah. There's a lot of American laws like that too.
Kristen:
Mm-hmm. Oh, Renée, you went to the"Black Lives Matter," uh, rally. Can you tell us about that real quick?
Renée:
Yeah, I saw what happened to George Floyd and
Kristen:
mm-hmm.
Renée:
I was like, most people, extremely upset about it. And it was at the height of Covid and, uh, people kept saying,"Don't go out there." You know, and, and"It's gonna be dangerous. You could get hurt." You know um,"There's Covid and..." but I went to the rally anyway because I felt it was super important to support Black Lives Matter. So I went anyway and I was out there in the midst of it, uh, across from the police headquarters and then we marched to the, uh, Capitol. So, I was there all day long and, um, just, you know, shouting,"No Justice, No Peace!" Because I think that's something, um, I really believe in. You know, unless we all have Justice, there will be no Peace. I found that to be extremely important and I, to me, it's one of the best things I've ever done. Uh, there was a lot of anger out there, but I also saw that there, this was gonna bring about some change and, uh, I wanted to be a part of that.
Kristen:
Did you go by yourself or did, did you take some of your friends with you or an Attendant or family member or....?
Renée:
No, I went by myself and I kind of like to do these things by myself anyway, because I don't have to worry about losing somebody in the crowd. And so even though I saw people that I knew out there, I, I went by myself. This way I could move about as I needed to or get out of the way, not have to worry what happened to my friend and you know, things like that. Usually when I go to rallies, uh, you know, or uh, marches, I usually go by myself.
Kristen:
Fair enough. When you're not, um, being an activist and fighting against Ableism, I know an Advocate's job is a 24/7 job, it's never really done. But what do you do to just have fun, relax, maybe Self Care?
Renée:
Um, yeah, I, you know, I, I wanna add something here first, uh, Kristen is that...
Kristen:
Sure.
Renée:
Uh, because I was able to work and was able to make a lot more money than I did being on SSI and, uh, I was able to, uh, make a significant income and I had insurance, and I was able eventually to buy a house. Um, I'm living in my second house right now and I have a live-in Attendant again, but she's been with me for 16 years and we know each other extremely well. We don't even have to, I don't even have to tell her anymore, but we, we've had our issues in the past and we have 401ks, also 401k plans. So I've been very, very fortunate that, um, I was able to get out of that, uh, lifestyle. So I, I feel really fortunate in that and I wanna give that back to the community and to other people with disabilities. Because I firmly believe in the Declaration of Independence, you know, re: the"Life liberty and the pursuit of justice." I think every human being has that right. And that's what motivates me to keep going. And, uh, and I, I enjoy doing that, I really do. I feel like I'm doing my real work. I, I worked for the state of Texas and that was a great job, but I feel like my true work is what I'm doing now as an Advocate. And, uh, so to get back to your question about self-care and everything, I, I have gotten older, so I don't have as much energy as I used to have when I was younger.(Rene Laughs). Um, I try not to do any work after 6:00 PM and, uh, I got an adjustable bed, so I'll lay down and put my feet up and just watch TV. I find that relaxing. I also, uh, have a lot of friends. I'm very fortunate to have a lot of friends and, uh, we get together, we're all retired, so we go and have the, uh, dinner at the"blue-haired hours," they call it. We go have dinner somewhere at four o'clock or we'll go to an afternoon matinee movie. Or we just hang out together. I, I find that is the best thing for me because I really love having my friends around. Yeah, we're, you know, if you think of the"Red Hat Ladies," that's kind of what we are. Renée Laughs)
Kristen:
Oh, I was thinking"The Golden Girls."
Renée:
"The Golden Girls" too, yeah!
Kristen:
I like"The Golden Girls."(Laughter) Um, I know you identify as a Storyteller and I also know your friend Nancy. She comes to my Adapting Shero's meetings sometimes, and she's great.
Renée:
Mm-hmm.
Kristen:
And do you have any stories of you and Nancy going out together or, you know...
Renée:
oh,(Renée Laughs)
Kristen:
....hanging out?
Renée:
Nancy and I could write a book,(Renée Laughs), just on all the things we've, you know, uh, been through. Interestingly, Nancy was one of the"Mean Girls" that I mentioned in my story.
Kristen:
Really!
Renée:
The, the girl that I had turned down for the job, uh, initially was Nancy's friend.
Kristen:
Oh, okay.
Renée:
And she was in Nancy's room when I called and asked if she wanted to be my Attendant. So Nancy and all her friends were all like laughing in the background,"Ah, she's calling you back..." you know, and making fun of me and all that. And, um, she was one of the people that, um, I was afraid of...(Renée Laughs). And, uh, but you know, in time, uh, Nancy's a really good person and she and I became really good friends. We've been friends since that time, that time I moved into the dorm. So we've been friends since 1980 and, uh, we've grown old together and, uh, we, uh, belong to the, um, Chapter 24/26 of the AARP. They take, uh, trips to, uh, day trips and Nancy and I like to go along. They rent a charter bus that has a wheelchair lift on it, and we'll go to San Antonio or Waco or places like that. And I just started on Facebook, I started putting"Nancy and Renée Leave The House Chapter 2,100" or something, uh, to be funny, you know. But because so many people I think, think that people with disabilities stay home and we're out to show that no, we, we don't stay home. We're, we're gonna go places, we're gonna be at the restaurants that you go to. We we're gonna travel to places. Um, you know, so, uh, we, we go quite a bit. Uh, we hang out sometimes a full day a Saturday and just go get our haircut and go have lunch and, you know. Nancy's, Nancy is in a wheelchair also. She has a Disability and so the two of us looked pretty funny even back in college. Um, the two of us rolling together across campus and even now, we roll together to a restaurant. We went and had breakfast at"Dan's", for example, and we roll to the bus and ride the bus to, you know, uh, Barton Creek Mall and we roll around the mall. And so we do things like that. We, we have a lot of fun.
Kristen:
Wow! Yeah. To our listeners who don't know, my friend Toby's here, he is also a wheelchair user. He is by far one of my best friends. He's probably my best friend in the world. So to him I wanna say"Toby, that's you and I in a couple years!"(Renée Laughs)
Renée:
And, uh, so, um, about self-care and everything, I like to shop, believe it or not, I am a shopper. So I, I do alot of things that make me feel, uh, refreshed and, uh, Self Care. Once a month I go and get a facial. And every three months I have a um, um, Massage Therapist come to my house and do a full body massage for an hour and a half. Oh God, that's, talk about Self Care, that's the best thing ever! And uh, and I love to read. Reading is something I have always loved since I was a child. Um, I'm an avid reader and I belong to a book club and, you know, I really enjoy meeting up with the ladies once a month and so I enjoy that very much too.
Kristen:
Oh, well I should ask, what book are you reading right now? Are you binging anything? Uh, binging any shows right now?
Renée:
Um, you know, believe it or not, I was binging, uh,"90 Day Fiancé".(Renée Laughs).
Kristen:
Oh, okay.
Renée:
I don't know how I got caught up in that, but I did and I just couldn't stop watching it.
Kristen:
Sure.
Renée:
But I like to watch documentaries, lots of documentaries. And, um, right now I'm reading a book called,"How Lucky," I can't remember the name of the author. But it's a story of a man with, um, Spinal Muscular Atrophy. He has a Disability who becomes a sleuth, uh, in a, in a kidnapping crime. I find that to be a, it's a very fascinating story and I really, really enjoy it. It's"How Lucky" by Will Leitch L E I T C H, and uh, it's really a great book. So, uh, that's what I'm reading right now and I'm probably gonna go finish reading it as soon as we finish this talk.(Renée Laughs)
Kristen:
All right. Um, if our listeners or followers wanna connect with you, do you have social media or a website, what's the best way to do that?
Renée:
Uh, I don't have a website, but I am on, on Facebook under the name Renée Lopez. So it should be easy to find. So if anybody wants to, uh, friend me on Facebook, uh, that would be, that would be great. I post things on that I'm doing, like if we have a rally or if I'm speaking at... You know, like I spoke at the"Woman's March," you know, and I was at the rally, uh, the other day about gun control. Uh, and you know, and then every day I try to post something positive to think about. And, um, so, uh, I try to, to just put something positive out there.
Kristen:
That's great. I think with what we're going through right now, our country, it's always great to read something positive.
Renée:
That's right. Yeah.
Kristen:
Well, I could talk to you all day. Um, I've really enjoyed getting to know you better cuz I've always seen you around the community. Thank you so much for coming back and letting me interview you this time, and we hope to have you on the podcast again someday.
Renée:
Thank you. I really enjoyed doing this.
Kristen:
All right, well, of course, if you've been touched by anything in this episode or have any questions about anything that might have been mentioned in this episode, we'd love to hear from you on our"True Tales by Disability Advocates Facebook Page." Thanks again, Renée!
Renée:
Thank you
Kristen:
So much, fun. I could literally talk to you for hours.
Renée:
(Renée Laughs) Someday we will.(Renée Laughs)
Kristen:
Yes! Thanks for listening to True Tales by Disability Advocates. This episode was hosted by me Kristen Gooch, Produced by Toby Al-Trabulsi, Editing and Mixing by MsBoye. The production team includes Joey Gidseg and Jennifer Howell. Special thanks to our guest
Renée:
Renée Lopez
Kristen:
for sharing her story,"Me, Myself, and Sandra." I'm Kristen Gooch and you've been listening to True Tales by Disability Advocates. Don't forget to share the podcast with your friends and follow the True Tales Podcast Facebook page.
Kamand:
All episodes of The True Tales by Disability Advocates for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and anywhere you get your podcasts. The program is funded in part by a grant from the Texas State Independent Living Council, the Administration for Community Living and individuals like you. To learn about the Speaking Advocates Program sign up for our newsletter at Art Spark Texas dot org. That's A R T S P A R K T X.org. This free virtual training is open to people of all disabilities, no matter where you live.
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