First Cup of Coffee - May 6, 2021

I'm telling a story about my special earrings and a writer friend who's lost to us. Also about author professional jealousy and being envious of the shiny others get to have and do, but being aware of the down sides.

You can watch the You Tube video of the podcast here (https://youtu.be/o_xM97ctyiQ).

First Cup of Coffee is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at Frolic.media/podcasts!

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:01

Good morning, everyone. This is Jeffy Kennedy, author of Fantasy Romance and Romantic Fantasy, here with my first cup of coffee. Which is a delicious treat this morning. Alert viewers among you will have immediately picked out that I have a Starbucks cup today. David had an early airport run. I had to take a client down to Albuquerque to the airport. And so he stopped at Starbucks on the way back and got me a coffee drink, which is it's just the best kind of man to have. So yummy delicious. Today is I almost said Tuesday. This I've been to work this week, haven't I? Today is Thursday. And it is May 6th. Yesterday was Sanco de Mayo. All of the uh bars around here were trying to come up with uh reasons to get people to come in because they're finally opening up again. Um and Sanco de Mayo is usually a big party day around here in the desert southwest. So um today's earrings are special earrings. They look good on, don't they? I I always think these earrings look good on me. And and they elicit many comments. Um I've had people offer to buy them off of me. Uh, not only are they really unusual, eye-catching, they also have um a great deal of sentimental value. These may be my favorite earrings of all my earrings. So I will hold them up and show them to you. They're kind of artsy. Um, they are consist of an irregular flat green stone, so that the flat side is presented toward the viewer. And then they are bound with copper wire in various shapes. It's kind of hard to describe. There's like a copper spiral at the top, and then it slices across the stone in a few different places. Um, just a really unusual design with then a piece hanging down that's sort of vaguely heart-shaped, but not really hard at all. A couple of little black beads and a copper spiral at the bottom. Um, they're neat because they are the copper and the green. So, in honor of that today, I have my coppery hair and my green top on. Um, these earrings are from Prague, and I have never been to Prague, um, nor had the person who gave them to me. So a friend of mine named Anna, who I knew back in Laramie, Wyoming, gave me these earrings. And I met Anna in one of the very first writing classes I ever took. I had been um, it wasn't the very first, it may have been like the second. Um it's a torturous history, but it was, I was in graduate school in neurophysiology, for those of you who are unfamiliar with my history, getting my PhD in neurophysiology, and I decided I did not want to be a research scientist and that I wanted to be a writer instead, which was a fairly major about face. And so one thing I'd started to do was to take writing classes at night. And I met Anna in this class taught by Vicki Liner. That's funny because I was just talking with somebody, um, a writer from Laramie who recently found me through the Flights of Foundry conference, uh, Tamra. Hi, Tamra, if you're listening. Tamra Linz, now writing as T.T. Linz, writing a science fiction. But um yeah, Vicki Linner was one of the professors in the creative writing program, and she uh taught a class. I can't remember what it was called. It was something about like women's women writing fiction. Not to be confused with women's fiction because it wasn't women's fiction-y at all, but it was um more like I we read Colette. I remember we read Colette, so it was that kind of fiction by women, more modern stuff too, but it was like um angsty women writing. Anna was in that class, and Anna was um this petite blonde, long blonde hair, and a total fireball. And unlike really, I think she kind of perplexed everybody because she was um not a Wyoming kind of girl by any stretch. She was uh the wife of a professor in the psychology department. She'd come there, and she wanted to be a writer, and she had two young sons, and she was um not an academic, not a cowgirl. Uh she was, I don't know, she was kind of a wild thing and a really wonderful writer. She had this vivid intensity to her writing, and she would um I I had a great affection for her. She was just um larger than life, um, almost an Avita kind of person, you know, burning very, very brightly. And she uh we would sometimes go out for drinks after writing class. And I mean the class would go from seven to nine, and then we would go out to the bar afterwards and like around 10, 10:30. Um I was not as much of an early to bed then as I am now. Uh, but I was burning the candle at both ends too, because even then I was getting up um before work. I had a job that started at 8, and I would get up and write in the mornings before I went to my job. So I would usually try to head home around 10, 10:30, and she would um try to talk me out of it. She'd be like, Oh, we're gonna go to this next bar, you should come. And and I would say, you know, I'm like, no, I have to go, I have to go home and get sleep so I can get up for work. And she and she would say, You could sleep when you're dead. She was the first person who ever said that to me. You can sleep when you're dead. And one night we were at a bar, um, I believe at the Buckhorn Bar, for those of you who know Laramie, and she had on these earrings, and I admired them. And I put them on. And we uh I think yeah, I put them on. I don't know if I had earrings on and she traded for me, or I may not have had any on that night, but uh I put them on and I I liked them. I was like, oh, look at me and in your earrings. I look in your earrings, and she said, Oh, you should keep them. And I'm like, No, I'm not gonna keep your earrings. And she said, they're they're good luck earrings, they're special earrings because she said, I traded them with another girl who got them in Prague. And she said, and she said, Do you do that when you meet new people, trade earrings with them? And I said, No, I've never done that. She says, Oh, I do that all the time. She said, So I traded her the earrings I was wearing for hers. Um, so I suppose I have violated the pact now because I've never traded these away. But I um gave them back to her. And I'm like, no, I'm not gonna take your earrings. And then when I got home that night, I found them in my purse. And so I had to give them back to her again. I'm like, Anna, I'm not gonna take your earrings from you. And then I had a birthday, and she wrapped them up and gave them to me for my birthday, so I could not uh refuse at that point. Um, I don't think I ever traded her. I may have given her something else. I don't remember we traded gifts for a while. Uh, but I'm speaking in past tense, not just because it was some time ago, but uh Anna has since passed away. And now I shall get weepy about it, probably. Um she had a terrible asthma. She was always talking about her asthma, and the official tale was that um, and I didn't know about it until she was in the hospital. She and I had kind of um drifted apart, partly because she was getting wilder and crazier. Um she was waitressing at a local restaurant and working cocktail at the bar, and um, you know, you could sleep when you're dead. So then I saw that she was um in the hospital. I yeah, I don't remember if I saw the death notice at our small town, or somehow I knew that she was in the hospital and then she died very quickly. She and they said that she'd been in an in an asthmatic coma. Um, and I think that what it came down to is I think she was doing a lot of math, uh, unfortunately. And when I said that to somebody else, they got very offended and they said no, it was asthma. And it's like, you know, she was in her 30s, you know. I don't think I know that that can happen, but her asthma wasn't that bad. And I think that it was um I think it was meth and they just that was how they cleaned up the story. So it's very sad. It was um a a waste, a waste of life. Um she had a lot to give. And I was sorry that her she was one who was always like, I I want them to burn my work. I she said if if I die, make sure they burn my work. And I was like, Well, don't trust me to do it because I wouldn't. I I think your work should be out there. And I think her husband did. Um it's a it's a funny thing. Uh you know, we hadn't drifted apart that much. I just hadn't seen her or talked to her for a couple of months. You know how that happens, you know, time goes by, and um it was kind of funny because we would have this big Christmas party every year, big massive Christmas party that we invited tons of people to. We just invited whoever we wanted to, and you know, like if people could fit into the house, great. And the when I saw the um, I don't know, the obituary or the little death notice in the paper, one of my my boss's wife called that next morning, and I was still all weepy. And I remember I was working on something in the yard, and she called me and she said, um, she said, you know, I saw the death notice in the paper for for Anna, and isn't that your friend? Wasn't she at your Christmas party? And I said, Yeah. And she's like, so what really happened? What you know? I was like, you fucking not calling me to get the gossip on why my friend died. Which she was, but I did not give her the satisfaction. I'm like, oh yeah, it was an asthmatic coma. She's like, well, I know that's what the paper says. I'm like, yeah. Um, Anna and I were in a writer's group together for a long time, the Silver Sage Writers Alliance. And uh I think there were people in the group who did not appreciate Anna's particular style. She was brash. Um, she had a potty mouth. You guys know why I like her. Um, and she would give very decided opinions on things. And she was not, she was not a demure ladylike person by any stretch. And I some of the more demure ladylike uh women, and you know, I'm in small town in Wyoming, right? You know, you could kind of imagine there was a little bit of that kind of well, and at college town, so there was a little bit of that kind of attitude there, you know, and they're like, oh, where are my pearls so I can clutch them? So long story today about Anna and the earrings from Prague. So these are uh now you know why they're among my favorite. Not only are they really cool and they look good on me, they are um, oh no, a little bit of Anna in them, right? May we all have that much zest for life, right? Um I don't know, it's a double-edged thing, right? I mean, I I always think about her saying that to me. You can sleep when you're dead, you know, and now she's dead, and it's like, you know, I I kind of wish she had actually slept more when she was alive. Uh so the other thing I want to mention today, oh I'm Bright Familiar is kind of going more smoothly now. It's not going the way I thought it was gonna go, um, which is the story of my writing life. Uh I'm at about 34,000 words, and it's definitely going faster now that I'm not fighting it anymore. And it's just going to be what it is, right? Um, I like it. It's pretty cool, but um, yeah, not exactly what I thought. Really see the sun coming in my office window. It's a bit of a cold wind blowing this morning, and I'm up earlier because I have writer coffee today. So it's just about seven o'clock here. Um, so yeah, I have my little note here. Um I was just thinking about, and this was something I was also thinking about while I was painting the bathroom and listening to that lecture on design. Um thinking about, I don't remember what prompted this thought, but I was remembering um a pair of authors that uh I I still know they're still around in writing. They're um husband and wife, and they've done some writing together and separately. Also, it's not Ilona Andrews. This is um another one. I you would know them as individual authors. I I think they they like shared an agent or shared an editor for a while. Anyway, I I knew them uh when they were much more successful than I was when I was a um newbie author, and I saw them at a conference, and I was going out to it was a conference in um I think it was in California, but it was very sunny, and there was a restaurant by the pool, you know, that kind of deal. And I was walking out to the restaurant, and oh, actually, I think I was I was sitting out there, I was having a drink with a friend uh at the at a table by the pool, and they were at a table nearby having lunch with I think their editor, and maybe their agent too. But I remember looking over there in um oh in great author envy. Um one of my uh mentees, author coaching people asked me the other day if I ever have professional jealousy. And I said, all the time, everybody does, you know, especially though, when you're a newbie and you have these ideas about what you want, you and you want it so badly, you know, and um and it seems so far away sometimes. And so I looked, you know, I was just so it wasn't the bad kind of envy, it wasn't the bitter, I hope they fall into the pool, kind of envy. It was the wow, wow, look at that. There they are sitting there having lunch with their agent and their editor. And how how awesome is that? You know, I want that. I want to be doing that. And after, and they finished before we did, and they got up and they walked past our table, and I said hi as they went by, and um they barely acknowledged me and had these very dunderous looks on their faces. Um, just looked really mean. And I thought, how can you look so mean when you've been having lunch in the by the pool with your agent and your editor and you're so fancy? And for some reason I was remembering that. Something that the guy said in that design lecture triggered that memory for me. Um maybe something about like thinking past the obvious, but I was remembering that moment and realizing in retrospect that probably they had gotten bad news at that lunch, which is not unusual, you know. I mean, that that's what something that happens at those lunches, that uh probably their editor decided not to continue with the series. Um, I know that they uh that things went flat for them for a while after that. They've reinvented and now they're both doing better. But um, for a while there, yeah, uh it was I can't even remember now what it was, but um I think that they were told that they were killing the series or passing on the option or something like that. And what to me looked very shiny at the time was probably a very dark moment for them. And I just think that that's a good cautionary tale, maybe is that a caution? It's not really a cautionary tale, but I wanted to share that with you guys because um I will tell you that the shiny doesn't go away. Um, that there are times, you know, like uh when I was in New York a couple years ago for the RWA conference, and I walked over to my agent's office, and I thought, I am walking through New York City going to meet my agent for drinks. And we went and had drinks at this really cool little bar, and I thought, I'm having cool drinks at a cool bar with my agent in New York City. Um, and then later that week we I walked with my agent uh to a restaurant and met up with my St. Martin's editor, Jenny Conway, and my publicist Natalie, who's gone now, unfortunately, you know, and it was like, I am having lunch in New York City with my agent, my editor. And it and it is cool and shiny, but it's not the be all and end all. And it's just something to keep in perspective, you know. It's like we tend to look forward to the sparkly on these things, and you know, there's there's it's still business, and sometimes the business news isn't what you want it to be. Um it it reminded me this is what has to do, I made this passing reference to the Jaguar face, um, that there was a time even before all that, when I was really working on you know manifesting my my wishes, for those of you familiar with that idea. And one thing that I really wanted was a Jaguar convertible. And so I was really working on wishing for a Jaguar convertible, which I do have now. But I remember being in Fairport, Fairhope, Fairhope, Alabama. I was down there um visiting somebody, and Fairhope's this very adorable little town on the coast, and I saw this older lady in in my Jaguar convertible, in my exact Jaguar convertible that I wanted. And she had the most mean, grumpy, awful look on her face. And I thought, how can you be sitting in my convertible and look so fucking miserable? You should look happy. And I sort of had made my a little game of it myself with myself that every time I saw someone in a Jaguar convertible, if they didn't look totally happy to be there, then I would be like, It's my car now. If you don't look happy being in that car, it gets to be mine. And I mean, it was it was a fun game to play, but also in retrospect, you know, I think back to some of that and think, you know, we all know this, but having a thing doesn't mean that you're happy, it doesn't pro it doesn't guarantee happiness, right? Uh and that there are a lot of things that make us unhappy, even if we have the very shiny Jaguar convertible or the shiny lunch with our agents and editors. Uh you know, life has its ups and downs. And sometimes sometimes you the death comes sooner than you think, right? So that was an unusually sober first cup of coffee today. I hope you don't mind. Um, I will remind you all that first cup of coffee is part of the Frolic Media Podcast Network, and you will find more podcasts you love at frolic.media slash podcasts. And I will talk to you all tomorrow. Take care. Bye bye.