First Cup of Coffee – May 12, 2025

I'm back from travels and writing hiatus, and mulling what it feels like to have not written anything in all this time, what it means to aggressively refill the well, and becoming familiar with the odd sensation of feeling less stressed.

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Transcript

00:00.92
Jeffe Kennedy
Good morning, everyone. This is Jeffe Kennedy, also writing as Jennifer K. Lambert, author of Epic Fantasy Romance, and I'm here with my first cup of coffee.

00:16.20
Jeffe Kennedy
Delicious. Today is Monday, May 12th, 5-12-25, and am back. and i

00:25.40
Jeffe Kennedy
ah Back in the saddle here. um And I believe that I will be sort of getting back into the work routine, doing all the things.

00:38.11
Jeffe Kennedy
If you're on video, you can see the glorious redone office. I'm so happy. I know I keep burbling about it, but it's um just the best thing to have. I just cannot believe what a huge difference it has made to have this done.

00:53.96
Jeffe Kennedy
And yeah, so it was amazing. There were a lot of things on my list I never got to during my hiatus, considering how long of hiatus it was. But um so life goes, right?

01:09.60
Jeffe Kennedy
I think I have to realize that my lists are always way longer than is reasonable for any one human to accomplish. I don't know.

01:21.76
Jeffe Kennedy
So, um, and I'm back from my trip, uh, as was easily predictable. I did not, uh, do any podcasts while I was visiting people.

01:36.03
Jeffe Kennedy
It's, um, you know, it's like just not on my mind, which I think is probably the point of a vacation, uh, I at one point found my camera, which I did take with me, the webcam that I use for this.

01:50.63
Jeffe Kennedy
And I went, oh, yeah, I was thinking about doing podcasts, wasn't I? But that was like about the only time the thought crossed my mind. So um if you are on video, you will see I have a new cup.

02:05.00
Jeffe Kennedy
I got this in Toronto. ah The delightful Kelly Robson is the perfect hostess and tour guide. And she took me to the the gallery. Let's see. It's the Art Gallery of Ontario.

02:20.87
Jeffe Kennedy
think that's right. I might have it backwards. Gallery of Art of Art and are Ontario. think it was O-A-G. Anyway, which is only like a block from their house. And in this case, gallery means museum.

02:34.69
Jeffe Kennedy
But she was teaching me about the seven masters. And this one is, I'm having to look at the bottom, of Macintosh. But this, ah if you're not on video, I will describe it's a very moody landscape of a lake, I assume Lake Ontario, with trees and it's all in these very gray greens with a hint of blue in the sky.

03:02.29
Jeffe Kennedy
It's kind of half stormy. It's the storm breaking up. is what it says to me and so yeah um you know museum mugs they're expensive although Kelly was like remember the exchange rate you're making you know it's not as much as that uh but I decided to have this as a souvenir.

03:23.04
Jeffe Kennedy
I got a number of souvenirs and so that's um that was fun. I got a very beautiful wine glass with hummingbirds on it and a couple of pieces of art which I have added to already to the um the stuff hanging up.

03:42.43
Jeffe Kennedy
I think I've mentioned before that I like to rotate through the art so now I've got a lot of new art hanging up I was talking with someone who was asking me questions about writing and creating the other day and asked me if the art that I like to hang up and redistribute, if that feeds into my work. And i I'm a big believer in that. I really do think that um what we put into our senses comes out in the creativity and that that's part of aggressively refilling the well, right?

04:21.00
Jeffe Kennedy
So, yeah, I got to go to... We went to Niagara Falls. I got to see a a different side of Niagara Falls than I'd seen before. Not just the Canadian side, but the...

04:33.83
Jeffe Kennedy
the because I'd actually gone briefly to the Canadian side before, but the way that Kelly takes guests in, because she's so thoughtful about how she does things, ah you come in from upriver and you see that the vast current, you see the river before it hits the falls. And it was... um There is this point where the river pours over the edge of the falls and it takes on this color that's like a glass green, but it is a color that I've never seen in nature. It was, or anywhere.

05:11.34
Jeffe Kennedy
I guess I have seen it in nature. um It was unlike any color I've ever seen before. And I kept trying to get it with my phone camera and I don't think I succeeded.

05:25.45
Jeffe Kennedy
but so Excuse me.

05:29.51
Jeffe Kennedy
So i I came back with a little bit of a cough. ah So I just looked at the picture and actually I think I came pretty close to to capturing it. And I may just use it as the photo further for the show today.

05:48.26
Jeffe Kennedy
I have so many potential photos to show you all. Um, so let's see what else it was just, um, we also, we went to wineries. We had long lunches with wine, which is one of our favorite things to do and wide ranging conversations.

06:04.95
Jeffe Kennedy
And it was, um, yeah, it was delightful. Uh, the second part of the trip ended up getting cut short, uh, Susan,

06:16.59
Jeffe Kennedy
lee ended up not being able to meet me in Chicago. She canceled, and so and ended up coming back a couple days early, which was disappointing, but you is what it is.

06:32.04
Jeffe Kennedy
So, um yeah, I tried extending the trip.

06:39.16
Jeffe Kennedy
ah i ended I was able to extend the trip by one day with Kelly and Alex, her wife, but I Couldn't do more than that because of lodging constraints.

06:51.44
Jeffe Kennedy
So, so it goes. So now I'm back. I am slated to get my edit letter on the, a rose in the mirror, the Rose's sequel.

07:03.07
Jeffe Kennedy
So we'll see what that's like. It's supposed to come in on the 15th and I'm going to work on a few, probably work on the secret project until then, just to start ramping up, getting back into my flow.

07:19.97
Jeffe Kennedy
One thing I want to share with you all. Oh, I guess I haven't talked about um the ah love and romance in Toronto. yeah It was fine.

07:31.56
Jeffe Kennedy
it was It was very nice. I should say that I had zero trouble going across the border, either direction. ah And I didn't see any trouble either. It was very civilized. I did hear...

07:48.16
Jeffe Kennedy
that a vendor coming from the US into Canada got turned back at the border she was driving up and of course this is like third-hand information because she didn't have ah the proper receipts for the merchandise that she was selling and they wouldn't let her in because of that ah

08:11.73
Jeffe Kennedy
but otherwise you know it was just super easy to breezy both directions so whatever, whatever you take away from that. For me, it was, uh, but I did not take books to sell at the conference because I didn't want to try shipping them to Canada.

08:32.69
Jeffe Kennedy
Um, it was, uh, I or I have a whole lot of books that people pre-ordered. So I brought those with me and use those for display and then encouraged people to buy books from the online.

08:47.52
Jeffe Kennedy
And if you did talk to me there, we'll work it out. We'll get books to you. Uh, people were disappointed that I did not have books to sell. oh Excuse me, but also ah very understanding.

09:03.58
Jeffe Kennedy
So,

09:07.91
Jeffe Kennedy
So it was, um, it was great. I still think of five hour signing is too long. And really the last hour i was very good, but it was their first year doing this. And so they couldn't know.

09:19.88
Jeffe Kennedy
And I got to sit next to CM Nascosta, uh, who is just a always ah kick to talk to. So, so all around, it was very fun. And then Kelly came and picked me up and I had a lovely few days with my friends.

09:37.71
Jeffe Kennedy
and got to experience downtown Toronto in a way I have not before. So, let's see, I was leading into something else with that. Wasn't I, Oh, I wanted to tell you all about love lit con and, uh, that is coming up next February. So we're planning a ahead here, but let's see. There's like all kinds of moments outside.

10:08.10
Jeffe Kennedy
I believe the truck has moved on. It was some sort of semi that was like backing up repeatedly. Beep, beep, beep, beep. They're gone now. Aren't we relieved?

10:19.29
Jeffe Kennedy
i Okay, so Love Lit Con is going to be in San Diego at a beautiful resort on the harbor in San Diego. It's good it's an amazing location.

10:30.16
Jeffe Kennedy
And ah it's over the weekend in February... 13th through 15th. ah You can reserve the hotel. i went ahead and did the max dates I could, cause they got a great conference rate.

10:44.08
Jeffe Kennedy
I reserved it from the ninth to the 18th. I probably won't stay there that long though. It's tempting. I i' love San Diego. It's one of my favorite places.

10:54.26
Jeffe Kennedy
Anyway, this is a first time conference too, but they are uber organized. They are really putting a lot of effort into this and they are offering us promo codes.

11:05.53
Jeffe Kennedy
So if you want to buy tickets for Love Lit Con, February 2026, maybe you're a planner. um I think you'll probably,

11:17.84
Jeffe Kennedy
ah i think it'll sell out. So I guess we have to plan for these things. It is um my specific author promo code is love, L-O-V-E, and they have it all kept. So just in case, 8368.

11:37.62
Jeffe Kennedy
So if you use that code, you get a discount.

11:49.05
Jeffe Kennedy
And I don't know how much. Oh, it gives you $10 off. Well, you know, $10 you could spend, that's a whole book, right? so um So yeah, feel free to use that.

12:01.20
Jeffe Kennedy
Remember it's specific to me. um Apparently I get certain perks if I get my readers to come, ah but don't feel any onus. But you know, $10 off is is cool.

12:15.00
Jeffe Kennedy
And yeah, let's go hang in San Diego. That'll be fun, right?

12:23.11
Jeffe Kennedy
So let's see, what else do I have to tell you? Um, if you're like me, you're eagerly anticipating the, uh, first episode, or actually it's like the first two episodes of murder bot on Friday.

12:36.35
Jeffe Kennedy
I'll probably be burbling more about that on Friday. Can't wait to watch it. Um, the trailer looks amazing. They actually have clips of, um,

12:47.90
Jeffe Kennedy
Oh, I'm not going to be able to think of the name of it. The favorite show that Murderbot watches. And I love that that's in there too.

12:56.40
Jeffe Kennedy
And let's see what else I was going to, I had something else in mind just now that I was going to talk about. um It's been interesting doing this hiatus from writing and I'm not feeling the itch.

13:15.48
Jeffe Kennedy
I thought that by now I would really be feeling the itch and the need to get back to it. So clearly this was a break that I needed. i am am looking forward to doing some writing this morning and easing back into it.

13:30.68
Jeffe Kennedy
um I'm trying to think of how I've felt before, but always it was a non-deliberate hiatus, right? It was like the last time I haven't written for this long,

13:45.21
Jeffe Kennedy
and it wasn't solid was July of 2019 when I was just traveling that whole month. I was in Ireland for two weeks for Worldcon and I was in New York city for a week for RWA.

13:59.23
Jeffe Kennedy
And I just decided I wasn't going I wasn't going to worry about trying to write while I was doing all of that. But I had pressing projects. I had pending things I had to do.

14:11.41
Jeffe Kennedy
And before that, It was always this feeling of that I was that time was slipping away. And this is like 15 years ago, right?

14:22.28
Jeffe Kennedy
Where it was like, it was taking me forever to get my career to where I wanted it to be. And I decided that. You know, I wasn't writing as much as I needed to. I still had the day job.

14:36.90
Jeffe Kennedy
And so I would very often feel that frustration, you know, that frustration that makes, you know, my, my favorite quote, which I know I, I cite often, but that it, and I'll just paraphrase today since I do cite it so often and you can find it brown on the blog. But,

14:56.67
Jeffe Kennedy
that won't stop to look it up to get it exactly, but that it's that in each of us, there is an upwelling that there's this spring of creativity or whatever you want to call it.

15:08.85
Jeffe Kennedy
And that if we don't cut a channel for it, it turns the ground around it into a swamp. And that was definitely how I felt for a very long time when I could not get the writing going at the level that I wanted to get it going.

15:26.64
Jeffe Kennedy
And yeah, I remember writing a blog post after we moved to Santa Fe, which was August of 20 2009. two thousand and nine And I titled it something like, um, you know, that we'd moved and where had I packed my writing career?

15:44.24
Jeffe Kennedy
and Because at that point I made a very deliberate decision to, it's like, okay, we've moved, uh, we've started a new life. And you've got to make this writing thing happen. You know, no more, no more dabbling, no more being a dilettante. One of my writing teachers said that my writing had a dilettante-ish feel,

16:09.19
Jeffe Kennedy
which I have always, has always stuck with me. And when I mentioned it to her later, she questioned whether she had really said that, but she actually wrote it down. um Yeah, dilettante-ish.

16:27.00
Jeffe Kennedy
So I think that the difference this time is that I do have that channel cut and, and that I made a deliberate decision to, you know, that I know I'm going to be coming back to it and that it will all be okay.

16:44.89
Jeffe Kennedy
I asked Kelly ah question during one of our touring about drives and I wanted her feedback on this that I told her that I was feeling like I was i couldn't tell what it was that I was feeling like I was maybe emotionally numb or that I wasn't really feeling very emotional.

17:06.14
Jeffe Kennedy
And I was wondering if there was like something wrong with me. And she asked me a bunch of questions. She's very insightful that way. And we kind of came to the conclusion that maybe I was just not feeling stressed and that this is what not feeling stressed feels like, which it's maybe been so long, but that I forgot.

17:29.00
Jeffe Kennedy
Um, I was coming up on a year since I resigned as SIFWA president and that has been an amazing load off.

17:39.55
Jeffe Kennedy
Uh, getting this book deal has relieved so much of the financial pressure. Um, you know, maybe it's just, uh, feeling, feeling restful.

17:52.90
Jeffe Kennedy
ah So, ah Yeah. Cause I still have, you know lots of, of good emotions. I'm just not feeling some of the extremes that I used to feel. And we kind of decided that, that it was okay.

18:06.97
Jeffe Kennedy
And this is why we go and spend time with good friends to figure these things out. Uh, I think I told you all at the casita is officially finished. I'm meeting with the blinds person this morning to get that going and, um, start furnishing it. Then we'll see, uh,

18:24.10
Jeffe Kennedy
Mom, whenever you decide you want to come visit any day now. So, all right, well, here we are back in the groove. I hope you all are having a productive spring, and I will talk to you all on Friday.

18:39.69
Jeffe Kennedy
You all take care. Bye-bye.