First Cup of Coffee – June 24, 2026

Weird self-publishing takes that appear to be positive, but are truly toxic. What truly works to build a career as an author, having solid goals, and knowing that achieving them will be great, but won't make you happy forever because external validation never does. Also, appreciating the book deal that doesn't seem glam because it furthers those goals.

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Transcript

00:01.94
Jeffe Kennedy
Good morning, everyone. This is Jeffe Kennedy. Also writing is Jennifer K. Lambert, author of epic fantasy romance. I'm here with my first cup of coffee. It's very good.

00:19.48
Jeffe Kennedy
Today is Wednesday, June 24th. I've been experimenting with different roasts in the new coffee maker and so um, this one is very robust. I really like it.

00:35.38
Jeffe Kennedy
This is a French roast from O'Hori's coffee shop here in Santa Fe. So that's a very nice find. I am continuing to like the new schedule, making decent progress on Never the Roses. Last week was kind of a topsy-turvy week for reasons, I guess.

00:55.70
Jeffe Kennedy
um But got through it. And um yeah, I'm past 12,000 words on Never the Roses. So that's good.

01:08.66
Jeffe Kennedy
on track to finish on time. It does feel weird, especially i had two very good days yesterday and Monday. ah yesterday i hit my word count goal. I hit 2,500 words and before uh, time was up and there were certain things that I did that I should do every time that would make it much more likely that I'm going to get my word count and get it within a short amount of time.

01:37.46
Jeffe Kennedy
Relatively short. I think it was like 2 hours and 40 minutes to get 2500 words. And I was done by like 1115, which was great because I have moved my therapy appointments to Tuesdays at noon. So I was very good about getting started early yesterday and avoiding the typical distractions.

02:02.23
Jeffe Kennedy
If only I did that every single day. Um, but it was funny to wake up this morning and not have it be a writing day. So yeah, um, but I think it's good. We'll we'll see.

02:17.42
Jeffe Kennedy
We'll see. Tomorrow will be tomorrow and Friday will be a big test like am I able to sustain will I have dropped down because I didn't write today.

02:32.38
Jeffe Kennedy
Um, last week was surprisingly emotional with like dealing with having someone come in to look after David. Uh, I did not expect it to be as emotional as it was, but.

02:46.90
Jeffe Kennedy
Who knows? Sometimes it's like whatever it is about this phase of my life, I'm starting to learn that. I'm just going to have these emotions. They are going to take off sometimes. My therapist back after a six-week hiatus vacation, delighted to see her yesterday. um And I was kind of laughing about ah how I felt like I needed to have um like bullet points, right? Everything that had happened in the last six weeks to go over with her.

03:18.20
Jeffe Kennedy
Um, and another friend of mine is like, well, maybe you should just talk about how you're feeling about things right now, rather than trying to recap. And I'm like, leave out the backstory. We can, what about our heroines character arc?

03:36.60
Jeffe Kennedy
i I always want to go chronological. Right. Um, yeah. Let me give you all the backstory so that you could appreciate this moment's triumph or crisis. i'll We ended up doing it kind of by compartments, in different aspects of my life and how they're going.

03:57.56
Jeffe Kennedy
So. And it worked. It worked just fine. We actually got through everything. There were only a couple of things I didn't end up mentioning to her.

04:08.34
Jeffe Kennedy
and we actually dug into some really interesting things about just like how I do stuff and yeah.

04:20.82
Jeffe Kennedy
So I won't I won't spill it all to you here. Uh, but yeah, it was um, She was kind of excited. she was like chair dancing and she's like, Ooh, I am writing this down for this next time. So we could talk about this. I could tell you this one piece cause it's actually relevant to writing stuff is I said that, um, I don't like being a diva that I, this has been something that's been very important to me throughout my whole writing career is not to behave like a diva.

04:55.45
Jeffe Kennedy
and I've used those exact words many, many times where I'll say, you know, like, well, I don't want to be a diva, but, um, and she's, she was asking me, she's like, well, what does I want to talk to you about what that word means to you and why that's important.

05:14.36
Jeffe Kennedy
And I just know, you know, like if you've done therapy, you can sort of see where your therapist is going with something. It's like, I just know she's going to like tie this back to me taking care of other people's feelings.

05:25.85
Jeffe Kennedy
which is apparently my thing.

05:32.09
Jeffe Kennedy
Let me take care of your feelings because I will do it. Um, yeah, so you know like taking care of what I want and need. um maybe I think of that as being a diva. Maybe there is some Venn diagram overlap there. We'll find out stay tuned for this part of our heroines journey.

05:56.66
Jeffe Kennedy
Um, we had the first caretaker come in on Sunday and, um it was, it was not great. And i knew that it was unlikely that we would find the right fit, uh, the first time out.

06:14.46
Jeffe Kennedy
But she was so not the right fit and, um, that it was really disheartening. And I went out because one thing I've learned is to not be in the middle of things. So I went out, but, um, after a couple hours, David was texting me and was unhappy and said he didn't know what he was supposed to do. And he just wanted to be left alone to play his guitar. And, and so I got her on the phone and told her she could just go home. We'd pay her anyway, but.

06:44.95
Jeffe Kennedy
and we're supposed to pay her for today and Friday too you have to commit to paying for a week and ah but yeah I I said for her not to come and we'll just pay if we have to which is annoying but also less annoying than having someone here that we don't um that isn't working so.

07:09.85
Jeffe Kennedy
It's um, it's gonna be um a work in progress. oh We just have to be patient and figure it out. We are um, talking about having someone come live in the casita where we've asked actually one of the nieces who is a single woman who's an artist to see if she would like to come live in the casita. And we would let her live there for free and I would pay her utilities and grocery bills and gas and give her some kind of allowance. I can't afford to do a whole lot, but I could give her some and, in exchange for like helping out here and taking David, driving him to appointments and errands and it's a big ask.

08:06.04
Jeffe Kennedy
But um, is a painter and wanting to get back to painting. So i mean this would be a great place for her. oh and I'm thinking about sort of casting through the people in my life that I keep thinking there's got to be people out there right? You know, ah a writer or an artist or a student who would like to come live in our casita for free and be companionship for David.

08:33.43
Jeffe Kennedy
So.

08:37.21
Jeffe Kennedy
If you know of someone who is like a really nice person and fits this bill, you know, comment to me. Um, and because I'm beginning to think that might be the way the best way to do this.

08:55.99
Jeffe Kennedy
So I have a couple of things I want to talk about today and I think one dovetails into the other. Uh, which has to do with I guess happiness being an author and what triggered this for me is I saw someone post this and I didn't even save who it was because I don't want to call them out. Uh,

09:18.68
Jeffe Kennedy
This is far from a unique hot take posted on the internet. But this person posted saying I love Matt Hague's books, but I disagree with him on one thing. He said all he wanted for years was to be published and it would bring him all the happiness he needed in life. But he mentioned in his interview that after that happened, that happy feeling lasted about two days and they added an interrobang there.

09:47.19
Jeffe Kennedy
Um, I'm a self published author loving every second and I'm so, so happy. I don't have a literary agent. I don't have a publisher, but I have made it to my dreams and I am enjoying am enjoying it all. Am I just obsessed?

10:03.29
Jeffe Kennedy
So there were a lot of things that struck me about this. Um, first of all, i sympathize with Matt Higgs position much more than this.

10:15.51
Jeffe Kennedy
Um,

10:18.74
Jeffe Kennedy
I think what Matt is speaking to is a really important phenomenon that happens. And maybe this is connected to what I'm talking about with like the emotions too, you know, like emotions are going to happen.

10:31.77
Jeffe Kennedy
And when we are newbie writers, when we are up and coming writers, we, we have our goals. We have our, as this person is saying, dreams, their dreams, which I'm putting in air quotes because I think sometimes those, that idea of, oh, this is my dream is a very romanticized version of the, you know, like being the writer with the wine and the Garrett or, you know, at the fancy parties or what have you, um, your books in the bookstore shelf being interviewed on television, you know, like these are kinds of the fanciful dreams. Whereas the goals are things like, um,

11:14.17
Jeffe Kennedy
having a book published having a certain readership having you know certain kinds of recognition being able to make certain amounts of money. Um, but we fastened on these things of, that are important steps, especially if you want to be traditionally published, you know, getting a literary agent, um, one that's good and is going to work for you, but then also, uh, getting a publisher and then, you know, all of these key things that I talk about all the time. Right.

11:48.82
Jeffe Kennedy
These are are steps towards building a career. It's not the the dream. It is the, I want to have a career as an author, and it's not easy to do, and here are the steps I need to take to get there.

12:06.30
Jeffe Kennedy
So we set these goals and when we reach them, when something great happens, building our career, ah yes, it's exciting and we celebrate it and it's wonderful.

12:19.35
Jeffe Kennedy
oh Signing with an agent finally, getting a book deal finally. All of these things are amazing and they, yes, they buoy you up and they make you happy, but the happiness is is transient because it's external happiness and true happiness comes from within, right? We make ourselves happy. Uh, you know, you could see this a whole lot in the world with these people in pursuit of more and more money, more and more power.

12:51.83
Jeffe Kennedy
And, you know, it's, it's not filling the hole inside, getting an agent, getting a book published. It won't fill the hole inside.

13:02.30
Jeffe Kennedy
Um, you have to make yourself happy. And I know this sounds like therapy speak and to some extent it is, but it's, it's really true. Um, if you are looking for external validation to make you happy,

13:18.39
Jeffe Kennedy
you're going to be forever searching for more external validation. That's just how it works. Um, whereas how you feel, comes with it within and this, you know, I'm going to sort of include and exempt at the same time, chemical based depression, um,

13:42.53
Jeffe Kennedy
difficulties in life and so forth. There are a lot of reasons that we can be unhappy. Um, get the chemistry handled, get the therapy, straighten out your life. These things will all contribute towards happiness, but accomplishing goals is I think.

14:03.11
Jeffe Kennedy
exaggerated as a form of what will make us happy. It will make you happy for a couple of days. and And that's great. But also, it's not going to solve all your problems. It's not going to change your internal environment, which is exactly what Matt Haig is getting at.

14:24.82
Jeffe Kennedy
And what this person apparently is completely missing. And I think in some ways, the person who says this was so invested in wanting to talk about how happy they are being a self published author, which is a narrative we hear all the time, right? The self published authors. And I am reminding you all that I am a also a self published author, uh,

14:55.54
Jeffe Kennedy
The self-published authors have a very strong investment in demonstrating to the world that they are happier than if they had a traditional publishing deal, which great. You know, if if that's true for you, then fantastic. Please, you know, go on with your bad self. It's great that we can self-publish.

15:18.55
Jeffe Kennedy
I love that I have been able to self publish some of my books. I love being able to have my books traditionally published too. Um, My happiness does not come from one thing or the other. Uh, and so I think like she took this or they took this, I don't even know their gender, um, that they took this and wanted to say how.

15:45.57
Jeffe Kennedy
Deliriously happy they are, you know, i'm finishing with this, am I just obsessed? And it's like, well, no, But you do sound very young um and inexperienced and there's nothing wrong with that. But also acting like you disagree with Matt Hague's personal experience because you're so deliriously happy self-publishing is kind of a weird take, right?

16:14.49
Jeffe Kennedy
um And it is part of this toxic positivity that I hear, more and more people complaining about in chat groups, especially regarding self publishing where it's this, you know, if you just persist, if you just keep going and you know, we're living the dream and I am so happy. I just, uh, it's, um, it's meaningless. it's It's really meaningless. Um, yes, I'm glad you're happy. Self publishing. That's great.

16:46.58
Jeffe Kennedy
Um, You know, are you building your career the way you want to and that makes you happy? That's great. Um, you know, if you've reached your dreams by having a self published book, well, okay, but you know, the, that's just the start, right? And I think that's one thing that Matt Hague is talking about, too, is that, you know, initially you think, well, once you get the agent, once you get the book deal, then you're set and you're going to be coasting along. And as I often talk about on this podcast, that is absolutely not true. Being a writer means forever hustling. And so there are going to be downs. There are ups. Yes, but there are going to be downs. And so pretending, putting on this happy glow, like you're not experiencing any downs, um,

17:45.52
Jeffe Kennedy
That's toxic positivity, right? That's just um pretending that life never sucks and that work never sucks. And writing is work. And sometimes it sucks.

17:56.44
Jeffe Kennedy
And there's there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. There's absolutely nothing wrong with saying, yeah, you know, the happy glow lasted for two days. And then I realized i had, oops, you can always tell when I get overexcited because I gesture and I hit the wind chimes. um You know, you...

18:15.64
Jeffe Kennedy
Then you realize you have to get to work and you realize that other aspects of your life still suck. And to dovetail into this, I have a good friend who just received a book deal and was disappointed.

18:32.12
Jeffe Kennedy
Because it was not from the big five and it was not for a lot of money. I don't know how much money they had in mind, but like they know how much I've gotten from my book deal and comparisonitis is difficult. And it's like, yeah, but I didn't ever get this kind of money before. And actually,

18:53.24
Jeffe Kennedy
What they got for this advance, I told them, is the same that I got for my very first book. And they were surprised. And I said, no, this is this is a very standard to decent amount of money for this advance. And I went and looked it up, you know, to see if it's still accurate. And that is what I'm seeing out there is that um first book advances are generally $5,000 to $7,000 per book.

19:23.54
Jeffe Kennedy
um with the median being five. And I know lots and lots of people that are getting offered one, two and three thousand dollar advances. um It's so easy to get swayed by these, you know, fancy book deals again. you know, like, what are you seeking? What is the dream here? Looking at these fancy book deals for one hundred thousand dollars, a million dollars, what have you. And thinking, oh,

19:51.80
Jeffe Kennedy
my little advance is a $5,000 is not good and and it's great. I mean, you've gotten an advance from a really solid publisher and it, it kind of breaks my heart that they didn't feel like this was super exciting and worthy of celebrating.

20:14.01
Jeffe Kennedy
Though I kind of talked them around on this, but Yeah, it's. What am I trying to say here? You know, it's. It's a tough business. I know I say this over and over again, but it's a tough business. And I think that's part of what I responded to in this person um talking about Matt Haig, you know, like, well, you're self.

20:38.36
Jeffe Kennedy
You're self publishing your books and living the dream and you're so, so happy and it's like, well, that's great, but. what, what other goals do you have? And maybe other people have different goals. Maybe other people, it's not enough for them to have a self published book. Um, it's not enough for them to just have their books out there, which some people will say, um, if that is enough for you, great.

21:04.85
Jeffe Kennedy
Um, but have respect for where other people are coming from, right? Where, where other people are living, you know, that people who, want and need to be able to pay their bills with this or people that have very specific kinds of goals, uh, for the recognition that they want for their work.

21:25.08
Jeffe Kennedy
For some people it's not enough. And, and I'm not saying it's good or bad one way or the other, because we all have to do what this, this is about our own paths, right? You know, this is why we're doing this. Um,

21:40.25
Jeffe Kennedy
you know, if all you want is to have a book out there, you can just use generative AI to make one which people are doing. Did you see this thing where like Kobo had to reject 40% of ebook uploads because they were made with generative AI? You know, it's, it's crazy times. People are just trying to whip these things out there and you know, get rich.

22:05.91
Jeffe Kennedy
But if you are wanting to be a storyteller, if you are wanting to improve your craft, if you are wanting to make an impact, which is where my friend is at. My friend wrote this book that is um in a slightly difficult genre right now and in a particular niche of that genre. It's also queer. And this is like not the kind of book that is typically getting a big book deal. And we could talk about that. Maybe that's a problem with the industry or with the book buyers or what have you. But still, it's great that they got this book deal and it's a very solid deal and it's going to be um a beautiful book and it's going to reach the people that this author wants to reach. And that's really, really important.

22:57.08
Jeffe Kennedy
So I went a little long today, but we're only doing once a week now, so we could go a little longer. um Yeah. Give me your thoughts on all of this. But yeah, beware of the people who act like you should just be super thrilled with your career all the time.

23:17.75
Jeffe Kennedy
um because no, no, nobody gets that. Um, and anyone who says that they are is putting on a song and dance for you, which, you know, people do.

23:31.13
Jeffe Kennedy
All right. On that note, I'm going to get after my day. I hope you all have a wonderful week and I will talk to you all on next Wednesday. You all take care. Bye bye.