Nantucket After Dark
Nantucket After Dark
Ep 9 Everything Has Lead Up To This Moment
The Pieces and parts of our lives don’t make sense at the moment…If only we could live backward. Follow Dorothy along her path of how her pieces from birth until now have come together to support her life purpose of bringing more love into the world through connection and pleasure. This episode is expansive for anyone that has been through trauma and/or is a people pleaser.
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Questions, feedback, or praise email Dorothy at dorothy@dorothydstover.com
Sacred Sexual Soul Series.
Email for questions, feedback, or supportive words - dorothy@dorothydstover.com
What if God built our bodies for pleasure? What if God built our bodies so that we can connect even further to Him?
To connect to God, connect to source, to connect a spirit universe.
However, you want to put that energy, that higher power. What if God created us so that we can feel that infinite abundance and create it within ourselves, and use pleasure to do it?
That was something. I started to feel deeply. In 2,016 I felt called to start researching religion and sex and felt there was a connection to God through sexual experiences.
I knew from my own personal experiences for my past experiences, especially with one particular love of my life, that there was more to pleasure and sex than what I was taught or told about making love with him.
It felt like such a deeply spiritual experience for me, and it was so transformed.
And so he, dealing a big kiss up to God for setting the 2 of us up.
It just changed my life completely, and in so many different ways.
And so this idea that our partners but then also pleasure and sex can transform our lives, and especially someone like me, who's been through sexual trauma to then turn that of trauma that pain into pleasure, so at the end of
2,016. I was lucky enough to be in a relationship where we spoke about God and sex so freely and openly and without judgment.
We really held that space of being curious about each other and curious about each Other's thoughts.
This experience really opened my heart and mind to the possibilities of life and love. and I believe that is what true relationships, no matter romantic or protonic, or whatever type of relationship really holds that space of openness
open-mindedness, and where you can share things freely, without judgment, or at least without maybe criticism. To be able to hold space for each other, to be your true selves, and To speak freely I think is such a
gift, and I would love to see more of that in the world.
The more I researched in 2,016 and 3 years, the more I knew.
God wants us to experience pleasure. Not only that, but built our bodies for pleasure.
It just seems so clear to me that all of these parts in our bodies are more than just what we see as function, or how we perceive them to function.
I believe our whole body is built to really receive pleasure, experience, pleasure, and joy, and so many parts of our lives that are fully connected to those sexual experiences, whether by yourself or with a partner for many of us and myself included religion has taught us
at sex and pleasure are shameful and dirty.
Not to knock religion. I'm Catholic and I read the Bible.
I love the Bible. I appreciate the bible and I love other people's religions as well.
I find that fascinating and so much wisdom.
Most of us, though, have ended up feeling this block in our lives because of the stigma judgment around sex that typically comes from religion.
And I'll even say, like even married couples struggle with this. They go from hearing. sex is bad and save yourself from marriage to marriage, and then they still have these deep-seated beliefs.
That sex is bad or dirty, that they have to remain chassis.
Then, not having any sexual connection, or struggling to connect with their partner because of this deep-seated belief that sex is bad, want to know the group of women that are more likely to have vaginal canal and or clitoris
atrophy, meaning they close up or they disappear altogether.
It's Christian women want to know the challenges any woman faces with her vaginal canal and clitoris closed up.
Well, there's so many bodily functions that are very connected to these.
This area has issues with the bladder. the vulva vaginal pain, not able to have sexual intercourse.
Infections in continents, and these are just some of the bodily functions it really does affect.
And, in fact, I saw this as one of the reasons why I'm talking today, and why I'm doing what I'm doing is because of my grandmother.
She had her vaginal canal atrophy, and she had so many bodily issues that popped up because of this.
Now the energetics that people experience when they go through this sort of situation with their vulva and vaginal canal and their clitoris. Is there is an energetic experience of loss of creativity, not feeling joy
excitement, not feeling the whole feeling just disempowered.
It. And this is just all scratching the surface there are so many other things that go into this
But want to know how to not have your clitoris or vaginal canal, not atrophy.
Know I did I I When I heard what was happening, I to my grandmother, I immediately was like, What can we do?
And speaking with one of my teachers it's using it it's stimulation.
It's a massage so we're built to take care of our bodies and to take care of our bodies well, and we're built for that pleasure, and our bodies are our temples our bodies are the direct
channel to God. Not only that, but God set our bodies up for pleasure, and to be able to heal ourselves.
We are walking miracles, each one of us. I checked my breasts every day for lumps, as well as do a lymphatic massage for drainage, for breast health.
And I do this as a preventative as well as self-healing.
You. Each part of our body needs wellness each part of our body needs touch and love and care, and not necessarily from the outside source, although connection to someone else or connection of someone else's hands on our body is important and we need that human connection
we. we also need to each personally show up for our bodies to love and care for and touch our bodies.
So much of our society wants to deny ourselves, care for our bodies, and listening to our bodies and owning our bodies.
Why? Because if we aren't listening to our bodies if we don't own our bodies, then we become easier to control someone else is in a high authority over us, say a religious figure, Doctor government official family member loved one then they hold the
power over our body, and what's done with it they get to tell you what you can and cannot do with your body except God gave us freedom of choice for a reason.
Why do we humans want to control others? And then we see this all the time.
We want to control someone else, yet we don't want to be controlled, and it's because of fear for some of us even fear our own power.
We give our power away in smaller big ways because we're afraid of how powerful we truly are, and make no mistake about it.
You are powerful. you are a miracle worker. you are a self-healer.
You are the direct channel, I believe the world is shifting into a time when we honor, and respect the feminine energy within each of us on a greater level doesn't matter which gender or sex you were born, with or how things are
configured. We all have the feminine energy within us, and we all have the masculine, and I believe the energy will not only support an individual, this feminine energy, that we are shifting into supports the individual being an individual as
well as caring for the collective as a whole. I believe this to be deeply connected to the sexual evolution energy.
In fact, I believe the sexual evolution energy that we are shifting into is going to drive more of the supportive energy of the individual and the care of the collective.
No more separation of Choose yourself, or choose your village numerous separation.
So there is this intertwining, this weaving of ourselves and the village.
Knowing that we are actually very much connected, we are creating a space for freedom of choice freedom to be who you are as individuals, and freedom to support others on their journeys.
So no judgment it's no longer about self-sacrificing for the good of the whole group but becoming into alignment with our most authentic self.
How so that we can support the group in a way that is the highest outcome.
While living our purpose, dropping expectations, judgments, and fear, so that we can come into a space of unconditional love for ourselves and everyone and everything around us being fully connected to ourselves, fully connected to everyone and everything in the universe
unconditional love means no conditions to receive or to give love.
That means. Whoever you are in this moment I'd love you whoever I am in this moment, I love myself too, and as we grow and change and evolve, those versions also are deserving of love, when no conditions are placed upon
them. This is not a pipe dream this is just the beginning of this journey.
I've been on since I was born.
Not that I have. now that I have a different vantage point.
I can see how God was putting the puzzle pieces of my life together, how beautifully everything was orchestrated, how divine timing has played a part in each step, and i'd like to share with you a
snippet of how I've been to connected to spirit and to sex.
My entire life had a past. Well, I had past life dreams.
My whole life started as a baby. Many people don't have memories of being a baby.
But I do. I have vivid memories, of I remember being in my mom's arms?
I remember trying to walk. I remember walking. I also remember the past life dreams, and what I experienced was not on Tv or in movies, especially in the eighties.
So I know I never saw any of these things I would often tell my mom, mom this isn't the first time I've been on this planet, and you know I would tell her about my past life dreams and there were nights I slept
in different parts of the house. Because of these password dreams I had fear of certain parts of the house collapsing, or I mean, I remember waking up in doorways, and I remember many things I remember calling out from my father, on one
particular occasion. Actually, a few times I had this dream because in another life we were in Pompeii, and the pillars around us were crumbling.
He was there, but I couldn't find him I've had many past life stories. I have dug into this over the 4 decades that I've been on this planet which is just been a trip.
And it's itself. I love going into past lives not necessarily completely focusing on them or having them affect this life per se.
But I find it fascinating and very curious I've always felt connected to spirit and to nature.
And as a child, I would often chant around the house and practice Yoga before I knew what any of these practices were.
My mother felt it was our native American ancestors speaking through me.
She never taught me any of these chances, or how to move my body.
The way I did this all began the moment I could walk and talk like a little girl.
I was super curious about my body. My parents said I used to do sit-ups and watch as they were changing my diapers.
I found pleasure in my body, and I didn't understand why all I knew is that it felt good, experienced molestation when I was 5 years old, and then, when my mother took me to the doctors after the incident I experienced
more trauma, because I didn't understand why the doctor was touching my body the way he was touching my body didn't like it, and I didn't want to be touched a kid.
I struggled with the church because I didn't feel they were teaching or living Jesus's words about love as a kid.
I went to a Catholic private school and felt it was all a lie.
I felt the fear they tried to instill when I would stand up and call them out on their lives.
I would get in trouble. Luckily, I didn't get in trouble at home.
In fact, my parents fully believed in standing up for one's beliefs, no matter what they were.
But yeah, stand up. and in fact, one particular occasion. when the nuns told us that Jesus is the only one to die for others. I stood up at my desk and said, that's not true.
There are others. My brother died so I could be born. It was a super proud moment for my mama.
My parents taught me to respect authority. while also questioning it. My parents knew that what occurred in Germany with the Jewish people could easily happen again.
If people don't stand up and question authority, we each need to think of ourselves and use our voices, I will say I had an idea like childhood, or I feel like I did.
I was super lucky that my dad made enough money to support us and to support my mom, staying home with us and my mom, and she made everything magical.
We danced, we sang, we played, we had time to ourselves for our imaginations, and to be creative, and to run wild.
With that we used, We used to say she loved it when we were being naughty.
It was one of her favorite times, and she used to call me naughty Dotty because I was always getting into something.
I was a mixture between Ramona and curious George, and for God, who's the guy from Sesame Street?
So the forgetful Jones. Yes, so she would call me sometimes Forgetful Jones because I would be off in my own world, and I wanted to grow up fast as a kid.
I wanted to know all there was to know. I wanted to be an adult, and I was super curious about sex love, and relationships.
At a very young age. I was raped at 16 by a grown man.
I felt everything shatter. After that. I didn't really even know what happened to me.
I was in shock for so long I became pregnant through the rape, and asked God to take the baby away because I wasn't ready to have a baby.
I thought about abortion but ultimately felt that wasn't the right choice for me still in shock from the rape Time went by.
Then one day, while my family was out of the house, collapsed, collapsed on the ground in extrude just so painful, and I, military-styled, pulled myself to the bathroom and pulled myself up onto the toilet I felt
that urge to pee and I felt pain, and I felt something move through me.
And when all of this was over I got up, and I saw the fetus.
I remember crying on the side of the toilet, cried because God had answered my prayers.
I cried because I felt relief. I cried because I felt guilty.
I cried because I felt a great loss as a child and teenager.
I knew I didn't want to have a traditional romantic life.
I told my mom I was going to have multiple husbands she said, Oh, we don't do that, Sweetie.
We are Catholic. Okay, I said, to her will that mean Then I'll have many men do things for me, and she laughed also.
Knew me getting married would make my mom happy. So as I got older, everyone, I dated.
I assessed. Would I marry them, or would I not?
I had over 12 marriage proposals and was almost married 4 times it wasn't until my mom passed away.
That I knew I was only going to get married and have children to please her, now that she wasn't alive.
I knew I didn't have to get married I didn't have to have kids, and I felt that relief, and again I felt guilty for feeling relief when my mother died so much shifted for me had been or I
have been internal for so long I'm packing these shifts and the shifts of who I am.
The shifts of my beliefs, the shifts deepening my faith in God, the shifts in deepening my connection to myself and pleasure, the shifts, and no longer people-pleasing the shifts and not giving a
Fox, who others think of me, or living a life they believe I should lead while life was happening.
Personally, Professionally I studied psychology, and business at university, and went on.
Receive. My masters started doing deep healing work around sexual trauma and self-love and worthiness.
I wrote about sex and relationships and had weekly column researching more about sex and love.
I was obsessed for sure, wrote a book about how to use love, to lose weight with some exercises.
Those were always fun, and I worked with people around the world for their relationships with themselves and others started a business with a business partner that reminded me of the ways I give my power away and people pleased to keep the peace.
I found the strength to leave and build myself back up. After that traveled I went to India to become a Yoga teacher and found so many forgotten parts of myself.
Let go of all parts that no longer serve me, came back to the States, not knowing who I was, anymore completely changed.
Yet still the same. I remember landing in La Just being like, Where am I?
And who am I? and what am I doing here? It was just a shock to the system.
Studied mystical science, say the Chakras and the energetic self.
I studied relationships and sex, I became a love and relationship.
Coach became a matchmaker. Study religion, sex, and pleasure.
Study Tantra enrolled at the Institute of Sexuality, education, and Enlightenment.
Then I started the Nantucket love school with the idea that there needs to be more love in the world, and how so many of us don't know how to love ourselves or love others, noticed for myself, and students that when we are connected to spirit.
And follow the spirit. we feel empowered and trust freely.
We trust ourselves trust the process. I followed spirits guidance and began dropping away, shedding planting seeds of intention.
While combining. all I have been learning and experiencing Today is the day I share this offering with. You have found that when women come together we are so powerful. groups of women.
Shift energy in magical and miraculous ways found that as much as I know that I have much to learn, and even though I am a teacher, I am also a student, found that courses are absolutely beautiful but they don't always allow the
space of equality, and what space does equality offer the circle it's never-ending.
There was no one at the head or at the end. There is no one greater than anyone else in a circle.
Everyone as a teacher and everyone as a student I'm shifting away from courses inside the Nantucket love school towards circles because I find them to be so empowering, beneficial, and life-changing I want to provide that
safe space for women to come together, support each other to evolve and thrive, will be guiding the circle.
But everyone inside the circle is equal and valuable and has every right to be there.
Everyone is able to take and make space so I've already launched this, the sacred sexual woman circle it's 8 sessions connecting with spirit and pleasure and leading to that deeper love would love to invite you
into the circle there's also going to be a free circle that's coming up on the nineteenth of April.
And I do plan on hosting other circles for months to come.
So if you have any interests, make sure to sign up for each circle definitely check them out.
I'll leave some links being Head over to my website Www.Dorothydstover.Com.
Or Www.NantucketLoveschool com.
I appreciate you holding the space while I share this with you while I share parts of my story, and become a little more vulnerable with sharing these parts and going more into detail, find that it's important to share and talk about
things, because that gives space for other people to talk about things.
And when we talk about something it loses its power but gains strength.