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Nantucket After Dark
Nantucket After Dark
Episode 10 - How to heal when you feel sexually broken
There’s a larger percentage of women that feel sexually broken because of orgasms whether because they struggle with achieving an orgasm or if they have never had an orgasm. Plus, their desire or lack of desire for sexual experiences. What if I told you that majority of society, including women, has been operating from a space that isn’t conducive to the female sexual experience? Dorothy Stover shares two ways to heal when you feel sexually broken. You’re not alone and there is a pleasure sexual future for you.
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Download your free copy of The Unlocked Mystic - The Sacred Sexual Woman; https://nantucketloveschool.com/theunlockedmystic
Unbound Mystic Workshop - https://nantucketloveschool.com/unboundmysticworkshop
The Unblocked Sexual Soul Workshops - https://nantucketloveschool.com/empoweredandembodiedinformation
If you would like to be part of The Sacred Sexual Soul Series or learn more, click here - https://nantucketloveschool.com/sacredsexualsoulseries
Questions, feedback, or praise email Dorothy at dorothy@dorothydstover.com
Sacred Sexual Soul Series.
Email for questions, feedback, or supportive words - dorothy@dorothydstover.com
How to heal when you feel sexually broken
I launched Nantucket after dark almost six months ago and you want to know what people reach out the most about, feeling broken around either not being able to orgasm or not being interested in sex.
First off, I want to say, you're not broken. Sexual desire and libido ebb and flow.
Not this is what science tells us sexual desire and not being able to orgasm are completely normal.
Where this may be true, I wonder if lack of desire and not being able to orgasm has a deeper root.
I believe we have been operating sexually in a masculine-driven sexual experience. It’s all about the end goal and the end goal is as quick as you can get to it. When females are in a heterosexual relationship there is a major pleasure gap.
Studies have shown the following stats. That vaginal penetration only 18% of women orgasm with vaginal penetration alone.
65% of women that are having sex with a man experience an orgasm.
59% of women fake orgasms.
86% of homosexual women orgasm with their partner.
That’s a major pleasure gap!
This has nothing to do with attraction or desire.
In fact, most women, and men included, aren’t necessarily interested in a sexual experience until they get going.
Here’s the deal, the sex we see in movies and in porn and have been taught when it comes to the sexual experience is not the feminine-driven sexual experience. The feminine sexual experience isn’t focused on orgasm but on pleasure and being in the moment. It’s about savoring.
If we were to compare the masculine-driven sexual experience to the feminine sexual experience say eating. The masculine sexual experience is almost like small meals or snacks. Add in how we currently view sexual experiences, the masculine sexual experience is more comparable to junk food.
Sure it can be tasty, but it’s not nourishing and it won’t fill you up. You’re probably going to feel tired, moody, and hungry in an hour. Or worse, not interested in eating at all because of the way that junk food makes you feel.
And that’s why so many people begin to lose interest in the sexual experience because it’s not in alignment with who they are and need.
The masculine sexual experience isn’t about long-term nourishment. It’s a quick fix. It’s goal-oriented. The masculine sexual experience has its place and benefits, don’t get me wrong. There are so many benefits of the masculine sexual experience. We all can enjoy a tasty treat every now and then.
If we are looking for long-term, deeply fulfilling sexual experiences, we need the feminine sexual experience. The feminine sexual experience is like a five-course dining experience. It’s not meant to be rushed. You’re meant to take your time. Enjoy the soup course, the salad course, the appetizer, the palate cleansers between courses, the entree, and finally the desert. It’s not meant to be something that is over and done is 15 minutes.
This experience doesn’t have the end game of an orgasm. It’s about taking one's time and the following pleasure. Be receptive to receiving, receptive to pleasure. Feeling worthy of pleasure.
Did you know that it takes roughly 20 to 40 minutes for the female erectile tissues to become erect?
That’s right, females also have erectile tissue and can become erect just like a man. Their clitoris can expand to three times its normal size. And when this occurs, pleasure is soooooo much more accessible.
But many people don’t know this. Many people don’t take the time or even know how to stimulate the genitals for this to occur.
Where most females are operating from is from a non-erect clitoris. Now, one can have an orgasm from a nonerect clitoris, just as one can have an orgasm from a non-erect penis. It can be challenging though and this isn’t an assessable way to achieve pleasure for everyone.
So know, if you’re someone that is feeling broken because you find an orgasm challenging or you’re not able to orgasm or if you have little to no interest in the sexual experience, please know that you’re not broken. Please know that perhaps the sexual experience you have been engaging in is one that isn’t the right fit for you. That perhaps there is another way.
I have seen all sexes benefit from the feminine sexual experience. There are men out there that end up feeling more connected and experiencing more pleasure through the feminine sexual experience. Especially, when a guy feels his in the bedroom skills are lacking or he feels insecure, or if he feels like a two-pump chump. I have heard men say, that they have been sold a bill of goods when it comes to sex and that embracing the feminine sexual experience has been so beneficial for men.
Here are two ways to get started today on your healing journey.
- Take your time with pleasure. There is no end goal. There is no certain way you need to be during the sexual experience. You don’t need to perform. You need to be in charge of your pleasure and open to relaxing into pleasure. You’re one job if you want to call it that is to follow pleasure. Trust me, you start to play, stroke, tickle, slap, caress, massage, and send your body love, you’ll feel so full and feel so much delight, you’ll wonder where you’ve been all your life.
- The second part of the healing journey is to use pleasure to heal. Pleasure, it’s a bandaid, it’s a tool. In fact, it’s a tool from God. The one job of the clitoris is for pleasure. Now, God made our bodies, and if God made the female body with the clitoris and its one job is pleasure, God wants you to experience a pleasure. Not only that, but God equipt your body channels throughout the whole body, and it’s connected through the genitals. This means, you can be massaging the clitoris and that massage can be healing the heart. It’s wild! God made our bodies with a self-healing mode. It’s time we used it!
If you’re looking to go deeper, I have a free resource for you to get you started, The Unlocked Mystic. This is the first step on the path of the sacred sexual woman.
I also have two workshops, The Unbound Mystic and The Unblocked Sexual Soul. This will help you unbind and unblock yourself sexually. You’ll begin to go deeper on the path of the sacred sexual woman by combining pleasure and connection to Spirit. You’ll learn the four basic techniques as well to get you going.
And if you want to dive into the path of the sacred sexual woman, learn the 30 plus ways to experience an orgasm, learn the 50 plus techniques for pleasure, as well as how to self heal using pleasure, then please join us in the Sacred Sexual Women’s Circle. This is a safe space where there are no stupid questions, where we share and support each other on this journey of pleasure, Spirit, and healing. The sacred sexual woman is unblocked, unlocked, and unbound.
The links will be in the show notes or you can go to my website, www.nantucketloveschool.com
Until next time, peace, love and Hugs.