Nantucket After Dark

Ep 16 - Wisdom of Our Genitals

Dorothy Stover Season 1 Episode 16

What are our genitals trying to tell us? Maybe more than we give them credit for.  Is a conversation and relationship with your genitals needed in your life? Dorothy shares the energetics of what your genitals and your partner's genitals may be trying to communicate with you.  

It's information that could change everything regarding relationships and our sex life. 

Sacred Sexual Soul Series.

Email for questions, feedback, or supportive words - dorothy@dorothydstover.com



wanted to come on here and chat about something that I don't hear a lot of people talking about the wisdom of our genitals.


We have definitely heard people talk about. Oh, my penis has a mind of its own.

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I can't control it. I would like to get a step further, and maybe go into a little bit more of the energetics of this.

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So let's just take for example have you ever been in a situation where you or your partner couldn't get hard.

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It's frustrating what about if you're a vulva owner.

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And sex is painful and if you're a penis owner that they are trying to force the penis in, or you're trying to force the penis in it's just not quite working or it takes a lot of

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effort. maybe even some vaginal dryness most of the time.

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Not pleasant, and leads to vaginal tearing.

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Which can lead to infection and more susceptible test.

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Yeah, but that's not what we want to get into one again to the wisdom of the genitals.

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So do you ever stop to think of our genitals that aren't behaving the way we want them to that Maybe there's something happening.

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Perhaps there is some wisdom there that we can learn from sex.

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Educators like myself can give you scientific reasoning, and can tell you different parts of maybe why and then how?

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For sexual lubrication, or maybe you need you know, maybe different toys.

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But I wanna get into energetics, especially if any one out there that says energetics like myself.

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I think this will be very useful but then also the taoist and tantra practitioners know this to be very true.

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And so i'm i'm marrying the 2 so let us break down each of the 3 different sex organs.

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So the volva, the penis and intersex.

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So what wisdom may look like, how to tune into the wisdom of your own genitals?

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Maybe even your partners as well. So first off let's let's go right on in with the Volva.

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So, as some people like to call the vagina. The volva is the full encompassing area of the female genitalia.

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The vagina is the actual canal, so vaginal canal.

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But a lot of people say vagina there's also the username.

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I personally like yoni I like to say yoni I just I feel like there's beautiful energy behind it, and if we're talking about energetics today, let's go with yoni and so you'll

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hear me say more, you know. need then, Vlva or Vaginal canal.

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So if you are a yoni owner. Have you ever been with a male partner?

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And yes, you can still have this with the female partner as well. where there's no wetness, or maybe the lack of lubrication, maybe even had to force the Penis in or force toys in into Yourioni

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when the sex session went on, you experience more pain, or perhaps even you had wetness and lubrication to again.

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But maybe as a sex session was going on, you felt drier and tightness or pain.

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So. there are many reasons for this. i'm going to Address the wisdom of your yoni. So the yoni has a mind of its own, and the Yoni is it remembers everything.

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It remembers everything. So that time you fell off your bike it's going to remember that the time that you had your period, and was really painful.

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It's going to remember that that time any sort of sexual trauma or assault it's going to remember that it remembers everything, even things that you're like. Oh, that wasn't a big deal the yoni

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remembers. so it has a brain. it has a memory. and

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One of my favorite characteristics of the oni is that i'll let you know when theion is ready for an object, a sex toy, or a penis to penetrate the vaginal canal the yoni

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will literally locked up what's in front of it so a finger, a toy, a penis theion will also tighten when it doesn't want to be entered the tightening doesn't stop an object or penis

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from entering right there and then. as we know, people can force their way through with consent or not.

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But over time the yoni remembers we're coming back the Yoni has a brain.

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The only has a memory, and the only feels unsafe and betrayed is going to continue to close up, even when there's no sexual situation.

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It's going to continue to close up slowly Atrophy.

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Essentially so, and may even close up completely. And this is when the yon feels unsafe betrayed when their sexual shame involved.

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The Yoni may not be able to trust the yoni owner, and the only may start to slowly atrophy and close up, as we said before, in the yoni.

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Me see an object, a finger, a penis and close and Titan even more, just because it's afraid it's afraid it's maybe lived in a situation where you know things were forced in things.

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Were, you know. Maybe it was asking for something, but the yoni owner wasn't giving or able to even tune in at that time, and maybe even betrayed themselves their own trust for a partner or for to Do whatever everyone else

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is doing, and even say forcing a tampon in can be something that can make the you only not trust the Yoni owner anymore.

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So when a yoni owner is having a conceptual sexual experience, and not listening to the wisdom of Theoni, or any other object that's put in front of the Oni the Yoni the trust is being

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misplaced. so it's a relationship and we need trust and we need to feel safe in all of our relationships, and if we don't, we close off just like we'll close off our hearts, we'll close off our minds.

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if we don't feel safe if we don't feel we trust ourselves or trust the person that we're around.

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So now for many yoni owners they weren't taught how to listen to their youngie.

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Most seone owners were taught to disconnect actually from their Yonis, that the only is ugly, or smelly, or unclean, which is all not true.

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And so yoni owners often have a lack of relationship and trust even with their own.

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Yonis, if there's this disconnect from the Yoni, So part of healing is really coming back into the womb space back into the yoni and really healing and and developing that relationship and that trust and the vulnerability

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and the love that's between the yoni and the only owner and the only is absolutely perfect.

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The Yoni needs love, it needs to be seen, needs to be heard.

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It needs to be understood, and so the more that we do that the more the yoni loves us, and i'm juicer than you only gets the more playful the only gets the more pleasure you experience it's absolutely

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divine. So the biggest clue that the Yone is ready for penetration of any sort of object, toy or penis.

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So even a finger, if you put the even if you're the only will suck up whatever is at the opening of the Oni.

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So before that the only needs time. You only need to feel safe.

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As I said before, it needs to trust means to know that you have its best interest at heart.

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So there is a lot conversation sometimes, especially if you're youngi has closed up, or is super tight.

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You wanna make sure that you are showing some more love and respect maybe with massage.

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Maybe with talking you don't need to talk out lab necessarily just mine to yoni of letting the yoni notes safe, and then she will respect it, and only do things with consent.

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So. But before I get into too much of what time and and and useful tricks and tips, I want to go deeper into the wisdom of theonate.

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The yoni may become tight, or lack wetness or lubrication because of a partner, as well, so it's no fault of the partners, you know.

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Just know that sometimes it's it's not about Oh, this person's a bad person.

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It could just be this person's not a good person for you right now, or the person you're in a relationship with. There are challenges.

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There are issues that are unresolved, or that are happening that need to be resolved before there can be any sort of penetration.

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So you may find the yoni doesn't like the partner or the yoni needs more time from that partner, and you need more.

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Tlc. Sometimes that Yoni wants to be cared for, seduced wants to be touched in a certain way.

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And and this takes time to figure out and to to gain that wisdom of the yoni, and to to decipher the wisdom of the only.

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It takes time in a relationship, and so it's something that you and your partner need to come back to and take the time for It's another part of consent, and so on average, it takes the female body about 20 to 40 min for

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their erectile tissues to be fully activated.

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So the lips of the Yanni will become fuller.

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The clitters will become larger and erect from here there's access to greater pleasure, including stronger orgasms, and before some women are still able to orgasm or ejaculate, they they they they may not be fully

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erect, but they could still maybe orgasm, or have any jackulation.

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This is true for males as well. So we get into this in a moment.

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But so the yoni is not ready and let's just say that that's what's happening.

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The only is not ready. it's not the area is not full of the area, is not ready for penetration.

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The area is not ready for pleasure or fully ready and so we have a few options when the yon is not ready.

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If you're a young owner, take a moment and tune in what does the Yone need right now?

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What does your yon you want what is you may even ask yourself? What is the only trying to tell me So for instance, it's even just say like a tampon.

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It's painful for the tampon where you're you need to be saying that it doesn't want tampons at this time, and wants to heal internally.

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Maybe there's something happening with your public floor there can even be a prolapse.

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There can be many different things that are happening. So maybe the only is telling you no tampons for right now and go to the gynecologist or go to a pelvic specialist. public for specialist.

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So there could be many different things. you're doing is trying to tell you maybe you had a fight with your partner, and you don't feel It's resolved.

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But maybe they stop talking about it, but still they want to have sex with you.

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We'll stop you know don't engage in the sexual activity.

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If you don't feel ready to get engaged in that activity, your yoni is definitely not ready, so it might be time to have conversation, or it might be time to take a pause and not move to sexual intercourse

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or some form of sexual activity. Another option is maybe to spend time with massage here.

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You activating that erectile tissue.

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Go over this in great teach. We we go over this in great detail inside the sacred Sexual Soul series.

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There are 30 different ways for the female body to have an orgasm, and there's 60 plus ways to massage.

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The Volva to really activate the rectile tissue.

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Now you most people do not know how to do this. Maybe they have some idea.

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Maybe they do parts of it, and beautiful it's wonderful but for so many people.

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They're like Oh, i can have an oriasm in 5, 10 min, And for other women they struggle and for other women it takes much longer, but oftentimes those that can have an orgasm in 5 10 min they're actually

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not usually not fully erect. So it takes about that 20 min to become fully erect.

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And so usually the females thoughtfully. erect and just like a woman, can have an orgasm or ejaculate without being fully erect.

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So can a man, and there's difference things we go into inside the sacred sexual soul like soft penetration.

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You can do so, even if you're not erect you're still able to have an orgasm as a man, too.

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So if you find the Yoni is not ready, take some more time to massage and to love on the Yoni.

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Maybe the only once more Loop wants to be held. Maybe want some time feeling loved.

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Maybe you feel like asking the own again, and placing a finger at the opening of the vaginal Kel, and the only will let you know.

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So you'll feel that sucking up and sometimes it feels aggressive.

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You're like Whoa that went in so fast or other times. It's just a gentle movement inside, and you may have something in between you.

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Yoni May speak to you in a different way begin to listen and to build that relationship with your yoni, and if you don't have a yoni, you're only or you have a yoni and so does your partner

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also listening to joanne's your partners young the Union is asking for you to listen, and not to listen to the stress that's happening outside.

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Whether it's work, or whether it's life but listening to them tuning into them, having a relationship with them the only can lead the way to wisdom, and the answers you need it's very beautiful.

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So now, Dunlioni, now onto the penis.

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The penis has so much wisdom that is so upfront and forward just the energy.

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And I love this because you know this upfront and forward energy is the divine masculine.

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There's no games, only truth there's no you know there's no like Oh, i'm gonna try to skirt around.

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This is like no direct love that the feminine energy responds really well to direct to the truth and to someone being upfront and forward. So the Ps.

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Is beautiful that way. it's that wisdom of the penis is the truth.

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In in some cases, in a lot of cases. actually you may have to go deeper for the wisdom.

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So. Yes, there's truth there, but the wisdom might be a little bit more digging.

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So let's just say someone that not being able to have a direction.

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Oftentimes the automatic response is Oh, it's because of my age, or I drank alcohol, or it's the attraction or i'm stressed at work, but just like the only the penis is able

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to share wisdom on what is occurring in the romantic relationship.

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The sexual encounter or even life outside the bedroom if you're stressed at work, feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders.

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You may not be able to get hard you're feeling your partner is detached from you, not able to get hard.

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You're not feeling loved and appreciated by your partner you may not be able to get hard.

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The one night stand over and over again with different people and your Venus may be telling you this isn't right for you, so you may not be able to get hard partner, that you're been dating and seeing and all of a

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sudden you start not being able to get hard this may not be the right partner for you. So there's wisdom.

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There listening to that wisdom. it's okay if something that isn't going as plans.

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Doesn't go as planned so or what your desiring isn't working out the way. you're hoping take the time to listen to the wisdom of the penis you may find that you need to have a

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heartcar, you may find you need to have a heart to heart conversation with your partner, or on you may find you need to have a heart to heart conversation with your partner on both of your needs. in and outside the bedroom.

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You may find the wisdom of the penis is telling you.

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Why night stands or shadow. Shallow relationships are not for you at this time.

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You may find the wisdom of the penis is telling you to delegate, work. work at.

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You may find the wisdom of the penis is telling you to delegate more at work, so that you're not as stressed.

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Listen to the wisdom of the penis and partners of someone with the penis hold space for them to be vulnerable, and have that open and loving dialogue.

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You may find that this brings a closeness and a level of intimacy.

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You both are dreaming of. Now we get onto intersex.

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So intersex. If you or partner are intersects then there's a configuration of both male and female sex organs.

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You may have a penis as well as ovaries.

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You may have a micropiness and have a vaginal canal.

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There are so many possibilities, so it's important for us to explore and learn about your specific body, and what feels good.

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What pleases you, and what doesn't so what to do as you Co. you'll combine both of these energies, and looking into that wisdom of your genitals, so listening for your certain configuration, your special

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configuration of your you may find the energy needs to be grounded first.

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You may need time and Tlc. before engaging in sexual exchanges.

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The wisdom of your generals has both the wisdom of theion and the penis.

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You may find the person you're with isn't the right partner for you, because of certain sexual responses that you don't have a certain people.

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You may find work has been too stressful, and this leads to the shutting down.

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Maybe depth different parts of your genitals aren't able to be activated.

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So what to do to support your genes, show up with love and compassion and action.

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Let me give you some personal experience of my own. Hopefully, this will be a supportive.

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I was seeing someone, and we were intimate, except I could feel my Yone.

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You reject them in a way I could feel myself getting tighter and dry.

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I went with it because the old me at times experienced pleasure from pain, and this was painful and also pleasurable.

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After some time he lost his erection, and so I said to him.

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We don't have to do this when you what would you do instead.

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And I could tell you was trying to please me and overly please me, and it just which I enjoy. but not for show I don't like when someone's pleasing you for show and it's not authentic, and that's what it

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really felt like which shut me down. and for me I was goal oriented at the time.

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I just wanted to have fun and so we were both forcing things right like he wasn't being authentic I wasn't being authentic, and his penis wasn't into me and my own wasn't into him and

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when I tune into my yone She let me know the deal she didn't feel safe with him.

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She didn't like him, she it wasn't that he was a bad person wasn't that he wasn't awesome he just wasn't for me, and my yoni was letting me know that so I said fair

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enough we won't engage again and I apologize to her had that conversation, and started to repair the relationship that we have, and the moment my own started to reject him, I would feel the the gear shift and I should have

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left it there. But we live in, we learn. if this had been a situation with someone I was involved with for a long time or for years.

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I probably would have felt there was a disturbance in the relationship, and Myioni and his Ps were letting us know in on Something was not an alignment in the relationship, and then we could talk and work through things maybe

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repair work through, find solutions, or possibly decide to pause or end the relationship.

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There are no bad choices when we really tune into our bodies.

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There's so much information and wisdom available to us for too long.

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Western society has just looking outside ourselves for answers when all we need is to connect to that deep inner, knowing that our mind, bodies and souls beautiful process, and all the wisdom that we need we go further into this inside the nancy

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love schools, offering the sacred Sexual Soul series, not only the subject or the wisdom of the genitals, but also how to access, heal and thrive while combining sex and spirit. for individual as well as couples link link in

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So it's very exciting thank you again for listening.