Moms and Their Music
🎧 Moms and Their Music is where motherhood meets the songs that raised us, wrecked us, healed us, and still get us through the day. Real mom conversations, chaotic humor, emotional honesty, and music memories for women who are still trying to find themselves somewhere between the kids, the job, the dishes, and the aux cord.
Moms and Their Music
Episode 14: Closing Shift
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Nobody talks about what happens after the day is “done.” The quiet reset. The mental checklist. The pressure to get everything right before tomorrow even starts.
In this episode, we get into the real closing shift… the one that isn’t just about cleaning, but everything we carry at the end of the day. From nighttime routines (or lack of them) to the thoughts that won’t turn off, this conversation hits in a way that might feel a little too familiar.
No perfect systems.
No unrealistic expectations.
Just real moms figuring it out in real time.
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We know we're all somebody's mom, but we know we are much more than that. Welcome back to another episode of Moms and Their Music. It's your co-host, Tiana. And your co-host, Tiffany. And your Ank Cartesia. What's up? Welcome back. We're so excited to have you guys. Uh, we got some new stuff for you. Uh, Tiffany, you want to give them a shout?
TiffanyYes, we have a new series, or Tiana has a new series coming out. It is called The Real Behind the Fame. It is actually now live. I got that messed up. Sorry, guys. She's planned accordingly. She's got a few done already. So there's gonna be a lot for you guys to listen to. So go take a listen, and you might find some of your favorite artists and who they were before the fame.
SPEAKER_06Okay, yay. Yes, that will come out every Tuesday. So it's more of a read, isn't it?
SPEAKER_05It's not really a listen. It was a read. Yeah, it's a read. My bad. It's a quick read. It's a read.
SPEAKER_06And don't we got cacias too? Yep.
SPEAKER_05Songs with those shadows. Yeah, songs with those shadows. Y'all know about that. Oh, the true cloud.
SPEAKER_00I don't know why, y'all.
SPEAKER_05I can't speak. I'm tired. It's been a long week. So yeah. Yeah, the songs with shadows. It's pretty fun. Y'all should check it out. It's been really emotional for me lately, actually, doing the songs with shadows. Like a lot of the stuff for the month of May is pretty, pretty heavy. So every Thursday you can get into some decently heavy shit. Okay.
SPEAKER_06Get your feelings Thursdays. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. In your feelings Thursdays. Oh, speaking of feelings, let's just let's get on with it, shall we? Our songs of the days. I have a different type of song of the day. I think it goes well with our our episode theme of closing shift. I'll let Tiana tell you guys more about what closing shift is after we do our song of the day. But my song of the day is Mr. Trouble by Big X the Plug. And I love this song for quite a few reasons because I love thuggish ruggish music. It just puts me in a good place for mom and but I also love it because the sample's Trouble Man by Marvin Gaye. And that song is gangster like lasagna.
TiannaYeah.
SPEAKER_05Like the G is silent. Like it's really gangster, the the original song, Trouble Man. But both songs put me in a place to, you know, just handle shit. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Like, I got this. Behind the fame, I just wrote one about Halsey. And she also loved Marvin Gay's like lyrical. Oh gosh, it's it's it's in my page, my Patreon page for how it's exactly worded. But she like quoted him and just loved the way that Marvin just like lyrically wrote his stuff. And like you said, it's lasagna. It layers so beautifully. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, for sure. I think my song of the day is bounced by out of sight. Oh, I thought you was gonna say Timberlay, and I was like, all right, like step up. I mean, that one's really good too. I do like that one too.
TiffanyThat's all right.
SPEAKER_06That was the one that went too. But this version, it it's not as like. Like it's a little, it's definitely more like fast paced, and it goes with our topic today as well. Helps me get the closing shift done fast. Okay.
TiffanyYeah. Period. Tiff, do you have a song of the day? Yes, I'm gonna change it up. I had one picked, but I think I found a better one, and it's one of my my go-tos, and my daughter even love it loves it. My bad. It's called High Low by Bishop Briggs. I don't think I've heard that one. Oh, you have to listen to that. I'm gonna have to listen to that one. It's literally about high and lows, being so high and being so low. And I I think it speaks to people on a mental level as well. Like her voice is so powerful. Yeah, I agree. I love her music. And she screams and she gets into it and you feel it. I love screaming. Love it. It's good for you. And you just roll the windows down and scream. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I can scream with. That's so fun.
SPEAKER_06Oh, but let's get into the topic for today. And we like to call this one closing shift. With closing. It's not just closing down the bar or closing down a restaurant, which is where I got this term from. Spent many years closing down the restaurants. And it got to a point in momhood where I brought this term home. And it's the only thing that actually like helps me at the end of the day. I have O C D, okay. And when I mean by closing shift, I am picking up all the toys and throwing them in the playroom. And I will shut the door so I don't have to see inside the playroom. But then the and then I straighten up my house. And I like have to do this before I can actually sit down and relax. So that's just like the start of my closing shift. So we just kind of like open the floor today and see if anyone else may have a closing shift per se or a routine at the end of the day that they just have to do or they don't do, or whatever it is.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. All right. Let's get into closing shift. I remember when you mentioned this on episode four, I was like, oh my god, that's genius. I never even thought of calling it that because you do, you start to think of all the things that you have to do at the end of the day as like just like the shit cherry on the top of your day. And it's like, I just had a whole day and now I have to do all of these things. But I guess giving it a different name, calling it what it is.
SPEAKER_06Closing shift. For me, I like it because it helps me just reset the house from the entire day. Like my toddler will destroy my house with toys and chaos all day long, and that's great. And then at the end of the day, I just pick it all up and just have my house back for a minute. And it's back to my space. I just mentally can't relax when I just see all of her toys everywhere. I'm just like, what are you doing? You're asleep. Like, why am I still staring at all your blocks in the middle of the floor? I get that. Yeah, but that for that's just like a mental thing for me, I guess. Um, but that's just where with this, it's helped me because I can relax at the end of the day and actually enjoy my time and not just stressed out about what what mess I have to clean tomorrow. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05It does make a lot of sense. Yeah. Well, I know we have some questions for this this first part. I don't know. Who wants to ask or answer the first of these little bits of questions? We have a lot of questions about closing shift.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Sounds like for me, I guess. Did how okay, what is your bedtime routine? What is your what's your end of the day routine, guys? What do you guys have to do? It's my closing shift. Yeah, what's your closing shift? It depends. You guys hear my closing shift. I'm freaking sanity. Freaking crazy and pick up my entire house.
SPEAKER_05Mine is like literally regain my sanity. It depends on the day. If my day was rough for me mentally, I don't have a closing shift. I am just sitting my ass in the boot now.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05If it was a manageable day and I'm still like catching my winds, I would say at the very least, I have to. I well, I don't have to. Oftentimes I do not, but I should be always doing my dishes. But at the very least, putting away all the kids' toys, that's a must. Like those got to go. Like I fill you with the urine bed. I don't want to look at your stuff. Yeah. Right. We don't need to do that.
TiffanyAll their kids gotta go away. A little bit. Do you what? My kids all have their own rooms, but their toys are still in the living room. They very much just want to be in our space no matter what. So I mean, I'll pick them up. Like they have like their thing, what is it called? You know, like the old buckets, the old plastic buckets that have the handle things. Yeah, like their toy bins there, and so is their kitchen set, and everything else is in their rooms, but so is their gaming stuff. So it's just, I don't know. Maybe I need to make it. You can only pick up like so far. Is that what you mean? Yeah, I can only pick up so much. And it's it seems like it's like the same things every time. I mean, I guess I kind of get that.
SPEAKER_06For a while, like if I know she's routinely picking up the same toys and playing with them in the living room, I'll just like set them off to the side, like by her chair. And then I'll give it a few days, and then I'll finally take it back to her playroom and be like, okay, like you're done with this. Let's move it back. But that's where I guess we have that advantage of having the playroom. She just doesn't use it and sitting next to her. Exactly.
SPEAKER_05Are they like that? Yeah, that part is exhausting, in my opinion, because you have these spaces for these things. And those things are not staying in the spaces.
TiffanyYeah, they don't care about that.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Why is it in your room? Yeah. Take it to your room. Yeah.
TiffanyIt's in my room, it's in my living room, it's in your room. It's everywhere. It's everywhere. But at least they feel open enough to do that too. Like, I like that they they have their own spaces too, but they also want to be in your space right now because eventually they're not going to want to be in my space.
SPEAKER_05I really enjoy a wiped-down counter too. Yes. Yeah. I like, I like when my surfaces are clean at the end of the day.
SPEAKER_06I feel like it makes you feel a little bit cleaner. Yeah. She's like, okay. Yeah. Like, I can I can do this.
SPEAKER_05And one of those people. Not that long hair doll. Oh, I finally cut him, by the way. He's finally a lion now. Oh, he's the handsome boy. Kind of. I don't know what I'm doing. So that part's pretty obvious. But it I think he's cute. I think he looks adorable. His hair isn't really like voluminous. It's like he's got the long hair, but it's not like a big, shaggy, long type of golden. So it's like a calm mane. He's got a calm lion mane, pretty much. But yeah, he looks cute and so handsome and soft. Man, is it soft? Sorry, didn't mean to go off about my dog.
SPEAKER_06Is he part is he part of your closing shift?
SPEAKER_05Does he cuddle with you at the end of the oh yeah, absolutely? I can't sit down without him literally being on my lap. So that's the other thing. Is like if I am mentally good with having a closing shift, like fucking, I will do it. And I cannot sit down because if I do, the dog will be on top of me.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, like you're not gonna be able to get back up. Yeah. Yeah, if if there's ever okay, so my favorite term for you, you can use it for yourselves too. If you have a bad mental day and you didn't do your closing shift, and you get up the next day, just look at the mess and say, Who closed last night? It just takes all of the pressure off of you, like mentally, like it's like, oh well, I didn't close last night. Then you kind of joke and blame somebody else. Like, who did that? Like, and then clean up the mess that someone else clearly did not clean up. Right, right. It was like, gosh, did I have to show up to work today? And it just kind of like mentally like makes it a little bit lighter to clean up. Like it's I mean, it still sucks. You still gotta do the dishes or whatever, but it's at least a little bit better.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Well, we were gonna ask, do you clean before you rest? But I feel like we're kind of page to clean certain things.
TiffanyYeah. Certain, I mean, sometimes you can't do it all, especially when we have like late-night practices and late night games. Like, I gotta sleep too, and we're I've got homework. So really it's just making sure the kids are fed, bathed, they've had their meds and their stuff is ready for the next day. That is, I guess that could be something that every night, like making sure their stuff is ready for the next day. The iPads are charged, the book bags are ready. You know what I mean? You know where your shoes are, we've got an outfit. Yeah, I all of the things.
SPEAKER_06I like doing that with my daughter, like, especially like with her lunch. Like, I'll make her lunch the night before. So then that way in the morning, if anything happens, it's the backpack is ready to go. You just throw it in the car and go. You don't have to really like think about it, like, oh crap, what am I making them too?
SPEAKER_05Sometimes I'm the worst about stuff like that, though. Sometimes I just don't even like I just don't even think to prepare for the next day. I'm like, I can't keep my eyes open. Yeah, no, I feel that you have to go to sleep. Sometimes too. I will wake up extra early, I guess. I don't know. And then I don't wake up extra early. Yeah, it's like that's me.
SPEAKER_06Like I I've done that so many times, and now I'm like, you can go to bed when you're done. Like, you just get it done, it's fine. Or I've left a mess, like, but if it's like school stuff for her, I will like make sure that at least that's done.
TiffanyBut yeah, one thing I do though is I I'm so weird, guys. Don't judge me. Obviously, all the lights are out, but all of the power strips get turned off. I'm a weirdo. Like, I will unplug certain things too, just I don't know. Is that weird?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_05Fire safety. I don't think it's weird at all. I think a lot of people do that. Get a little nervous.
TiffanyI just never thought to do that. And I always check on my daughter too, because she loves like listening to things when she goes to sleep. Sometimes it's a podcast, which is awesome. I love that she do does those things and has those things that she knows bring her comfort, but I get really nervous. I'm like, if it's right next to her, is her phone like isn't on her face or yeah, I get that. Teaching them safety.
SPEAKER_06Well, I mean, I don't know. I still sleep with my phone under near my pillow.
SPEAKER_05That's always been a problem. I do sometimes. Sometimes I just don't notice. Yeah. Yeah. Not always the thing for me. Well, I guess that puts us into our next question. Is it is it TV and scrolling or are we reading a book? What are we doing to shut down?
TiffanyTV and a scroller. Yeah, I'm a watch my show or game a little bit with my husband. And yeah.
SPEAKER_06I like watching shows sometimes. It depends on the show because if I turn something, I'm very bad. If I pick something random, it's always ends up some being something good, and then I can't sleep because I can't stop watching. So I have to pick like a routinely like a show I've seen a million times, like George Lopez or Friends, like the random family guy.
SPEAKER_05If I'm falling asleep to a show, okay, listen, something's wrong with me. Okay, if I'm falling asleep to a show, it's probably true crime. It's about someone lurking out of outside of people's windows while they're sleeping.
TiffanyThat's very much like my fall and fall asleep on the couch. Yeah. Like when it's just me, you know what I mean, watching true crime. But like if we go to the bed, then it's different. Right now, my husband's been watching off-road truckers, and no, I'm not shaming at all, but it does not turn off like all the other shows do in the middle of the night. Yeah. And it gets so loud and wakes me up, and I'm like, turn off the TV or turn it down. And he just like keeps playing.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
TiffanyAnd they're like yelling and rubbing their engines and their tires trying to get somebody out of something. I'm like, I wake up startled. Don't you know Diane? No one's hiding.
SPEAKER_00Drive through our house.
SPEAKER_05That is so funny. That's great.
SPEAKER_06That's hilarious. I love that. Okay, so what if you like can't? Sorry, what if you can't turn your mind off? If your scrolling's not working, the TV's not working. What's key? I love books.
SPEAKER_05I love books so much. And I love reading my Bible. And but honestly, writing, I love writing. That helps me turn off my mind. Like I don't always journal, but sometimes I will journal in my phone. Or sometimes I will just get out a piece of paper and a pen and just write whatever is in my mind.
TiffanyI don't know, journaling is different for me. It makes me like go into my mind. Yeah, that's kind of yeah. But I do I love writing. I absolutely love writing, but I feel like when I sit down to write, I'm just like really trying to dive in, and then I get hyper-focused a little bit.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. For me, I think it's like if the TV is not working at all, sometimes try music. Then sometimes if I'm too into the music, I feel like I'll just be like singing the songs in my head. And I'm just like, just turn the brain just off.
SPEAKER_04Like, what are you doing?
TiffanyI have to have a fan on though. The fan's a must. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_05Sometimes exercising does it for me though, and not like lifting or sh or even stretching, like dancing. Sometimes I can dance myself to sleep.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Dance it away like in Graves Anatomy. I love doing that. I was like, or cardio, like high fitness, something that's fast-paced, high music. So you only are so focused on the movements that you're not focused on anything else. That that's been a good escape for me at least. Or you guys said like yours, it depends on your mental state. Oh, how much you got going on that day? Yeah. Yeah. Because there have been days, I guess I've come home and I've just I look at the living room and I turn around and walk walk away from it.
SPEAKER_03Nope, I'm good.
SPEAKER_05I have a lot of days like that. All right, well, I'll just go in the kitchen and then be like, you know what, we're gonna go to McDonald's.
SPEAKER_06My daughter would be like with any of this. Uh, what is after your closing shifts? What do you guys do for you? Like, if there's if you're not reading, if you're not scrolling, is there anything else? Like shower.
SPEAKER_05An uninterrupted shower. I wash my ass so good. Yes, and everything shower. Everything shower, y'all.
SPEAKER_00And I'm talking afterwards, I'm putting on my robe. I'm oiling my scalp. I'm brushing my curls. Like, I'm gonna go ahead and put that headband on, and then I'm gonna wash my face. And then I'm gonna moisturize and tone and like, you know, just like everyday normal things that a lot of people get to do every single day.
SPEAKER_05Routinely doing after they wake up, that's what I'm doing after closing.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_05Taking care of myself immediately. Okay, so I do have a question. Because I know my life before having children was wild. What what was your closing shift before you had a child?
SPEAKER_03Go to bed when I wanted.
SPEAKER_04Did you even have a closing child? What was it like before parenting, ending your day? I feel like I came home, I took a shower, I watched what I wanted. Okay, fair.
TiffanyI feel like then I did like, yeah, like the dishes were done, the laundry was done, everything was picked up.
SPEAKER_06Even if it wasn't, I felt like I didn't care.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I was just like, I did not care about nothing. Yeah. Nothing. Like, why do I care so much? I cared about my cat. That's what I did. My closing shift was loving my cat.
SPEAKER_06Mine was usually like, take care of the dog. Like feed her, take her outside.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Actually, I think I spent a lot of my time, no surprise, at the fucking gym. Before I had my kids. And like, yeah. I think my closing shift was like hours at the gym.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I didn't start working out until I mean I worked out before, but I didn't work out as religiously as I do now.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Until I had my daughter. So before I was like, I would work like serving shifts. So I would work until 11, 12 p.m. And then by the time we got home, ate dinner, showered. It's 1 or 2 a.m. And you're like, I better go to bed. If I have to open the next day, I gotta be back at work by if you're with the kitchen 9 or earlier.
SPEAKER_05No, I say that I was at the gym. What I meant by that is I was using the dance studio at the gym for hours. And then I would lift, and then I would use the dance studio for a few more hours and then would go. So I wasn't actually at the gym like that, but yeah, yeah.
TiffanyThose were the days I didn't go to the gym before I was a mom, I'm not gonna lie.
SPEAKER_05Everything was always finished, fit and active.
TiffanyJust I feel like I had my daughter at 19. So really I feel like before it was just school, like sports, you know what I mean? And when our senior year of high school, I mean, we worked third shift and then got up and went to school in the morning. So there was definitely no closing down. You know what I mean? Get home, take a shower, maybe get a few hours of sleep and then go s go to school. But we did we graduated, but then like I feel like when we got our first apartment before we had our first child, it was cool, it was a different feeling. You know what I mean? Because then you can't have your own closing shifts and it's your place. I don't know. It was just a different feeling, but yeah. It was easier to take care of, obviously, when it's just the two of you and you're just starting.
SPEAKER_06But yeah, like it also stays cleaner.
TiffanyThe first kid, I c let's talk about how much stuff you really get for the first kid, because I feel like the first kid you you do get a lot. Maybe it was just me. I don't know.
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah. I feel like we had stuff coming out of our freaking ears. And I feel like some of it we didn't even get to use. Yes.
SPEAKER_05The baby shower was lavish for my first child. It's always the first one. It was popping. Yeah. It was crazy.
TiffanyAnd then after that, you just accumulate and accumulate accumulate.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god. But going back to closing, actually, before having children, let me just say there was at one point that I dated a Marine, and this was long before I had my daughter. And part of our closing shift was making sure that the bathrooms were clean. And he would make me fold the toilet paper. Ladies. No, no, not so. Put a point on the toilet paper. Fold the toilet paper into a pretty little point. Every day? Every night before going to bed. And if we use the and if we used the toilet before we actually fell asleep, we needed to fold the point back into the toilet paper. That was like a morning because like I pee like 2 a.m. Yeah. Yeah. I was folding toilet paper at 2 a.m., ma'am. I was like, oh hell no, but you fold it up. Affirmative.
SPEAKER_06I sure was. Did he just like a folded corner in the mornings? Like sweet motorcycle. I'm sorry, what? Did he like a folded corner in the morning?
SPEAKER_05So he was just a very particular guy. You know, and a lot of militant men are. Yes, they are. And especially Marine Corps. But yeah, I think, yeah, I think if that's just what it was. And you know, I was I was bad about it, young and dumb and in love. So I was like, yes, I'll fold toilet paper at two in the morning.
SPEAKER_04Anybody need their toilet paper folded? Okay, she can teach you.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I know how to make it look like a hotel in your bathroom. I can totally do that. I mean, it is a cute touch though. Look, I'm gonna teach you guys how to do it later, and you're gonna be like, actually, I kind of like this. I'm gonna do it every time before you guys come over. It's adorable.
TiffanyMy kids are gonna be like, what is this?
SPEAKER_06Mom?
SPEAKER_05I should get good at it. I should learn how to do like animals and stuff. Folding my towels and animals, little bow ties or like little suit dressed up toilet paper.
TiffanyThat'd be cute. I do have a question. During your closing time, do you ever reflect on like your day, like with your children, or just as yourself? You know what I mean? Like, oh man. Where did you feel like you fell short at? Where could you have given grace, or where do you need grace at? I mean, that time haunts all day.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, that mom guilt is strong. I I feel like the guilt is sometimes louder than the truth, honestly. But that's where I guess I have to train my mind and yes, girl. I like that.
SPEAKER_05I'm forcing my mind lately though to not do that. I have. Like I will catch myself having those thoughts and be like, no, you know, I feel this way about this situation, but here's a great thing that came out of that situation. Try your gratitude, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Or, you know, you know, maybe the whole entire day was shit, but here's the one good thing that came out of that day. Yeah. Because yeah, that's that stuff will eat your brain. So guilty of letting it eat my brain.
TiffanyWhat can make it better tomorrow? But yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Tomorrow's a new day, we start over. Yeah. I do hate those moments sometimes though, because like you just said, yeah, sometimes the guilt is louder than the truth of the day, which is that it was probably a very great day. And I try to remember too, there's other people out there that are in way worse positions that had a way, way shittier day than my shitty day.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, they say you can't have like worry and gratitude at the same time. Oh no, you sure can. What is it? Is like gosh, dang it. When you can't be like, when you have gratitude about something and you're speaking like life over it, like it's harder for your brain to like think of like the negative when you're so focused on like the gratitude of the situation. Absolutely. So it's like now I have to go back and look it up. Like what it what it was. It's like your brain can't process both of the emotions and feelings at the same time, like it has to be uh in gratitude mode specifically before it goes back to the other one. Yeah, but it's a mind control it's a it's a brain training thing.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I mean, I feel like you can definitely feel them both at the same time though for sure. I feel like they can both be felt at the same time sometimes. Yeah, but I think you you can learn ways to use one for the other, if that makes sense. Did that make sense at all? Yes, yes, did you fart or something? Why are y'all looking at me?
TiffanyI was trying to reposition myself. Um super uncomfortable for me.
SPEAKER_05I was like, why are y'all looking at me like that?
TiffanyLike, I don't want to hit the mic. I'm trying to keep my hair away from it too.
SPEAKER_05What what is y'all's bedtime? Let's talk about that. What's your bedtime?
SPEAKER_06So mine, my okay, I put my daughter to bed between like 7:30 and 8 o'clock. Oh, glorious. And then I start yawning about nine. But I like officially, I feel like I put myself to bed about 10. Yeah. But it just depends. My brain doesn't shut off always till 2. Yeah. Mine's late. Do you even go to bed?
TiffanySometimes I feel like you'd be staying up all night. Well, it depends on like honestly, games too, games and practices. Like sometimes we don't get home till 9 30 or 10, and I really think it's crazy how late some of these games and practices are, honestly, because you still have a whole routine to do when you get home. But just after getting them into bed, and a lot of nights I have homework. So then I'm staying up till midnight, you know, when everything's due just to get it done, and then I go to bed. Yeah. So wait, midnight? Because I did not hear a time at all. Yeah, I've heard one time. Is that when you go to bed though? Yeah, right, you're right. Yeah. So no, probably about one, one thirty. Okay. But it depends, because like if we don't have anything that night and I don't have homework, or I'm able to like get it done, excuse me, get it done early before we have practices and games, or if we don't have one that night, then sometimes it'll be like 11, 11:30, maybe midnight.
SPEAKER_06Then still sounds late to me.
TiffanyYeah, that is. That is kind of like Mike sometimes.
SPEAKER_05I'm just trying, okay? Mine depends whether I work the next day or not. Like if I have the kids, like I put them to bed usually 8 30, 9 o'clock. And then I usually end up going to bed at like 11. Usually. Not always. Sometimes I do have those late nights where I am up till midnight, sometimes even one. But usually like 11 if I have the kids and I don't work the next day. If I work the next day, nobody going here for me after nine o'clock. If you call my phone after nine o'clock, I'm not answering. Like do not disturb.
TiffanyI'm a sleepy lady. I know. What? I mean, do not disturb. She don't even have like it on to where it'll ring, I swear. It's not. Yeah, no, it goes into sleep mode. Don't forget.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I get no notifications when it's time for me to sleep before work the next day. Like, I don't want it. No, I'm not sure. I need to stop doing that though, because you know, my kids aren't with me. So I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_06But I think you can like set it where like certain people can reach you, I think. Even if you have it on.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, actually, yeah, they're called, oh man, what is it called? I think it's called a do-not disturb contact, actually. Yeah. Or something like that.
SPEAKER_06If it's called a favorite, unfortunately, I'm sorry. That's not gonna be like a favorite for you, it's just a must.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. But I don't I don't remember what it's called, but I do have some. Or maybe you could get a landline and they could call your landline. Thank you.
SPEAKER_00If you need an emergency, call me. No, thank you. No landlines for me. I can't shut those off. I have to unplug them from the wall.
SPEAKER_06But if it's after 9 p.m. and only like three people have that number.
SPEAKER_00This is fair.
SPEAKER_06It's like it's like your superhero line.
SPEAKER_05But I don't want no, I don't want a landline. I don't know. I've thought about it for my kids though.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I thought about for the kids to have instead of it's like a pen pal, but so they can call their other friends. Oh yeah. That's cute. Just like a little, like, hey, I want to call so and so's kid and just to chat, like just because they're a little bestie. It's like, okay, here, go call use a landline. Like when we were kids, like you're not technically taking mom's phone, or it's like if you're not home, yeah, they can't talk to you right now, just to help put a little boundary. But it's just an idea. I mean, that's a whole idea.
SPEAKER_05Do you miss those days of landlines? I wish our kids knew what it was like. Calling and being like, my kids lose it. Hey, Mr.
TiffanySmith is so-and-so home. Just that, just the knocking on the door, like, hey, can so and so come play? Instead of like texting, hey, you home? Come outside. Yeah, can I come outside?
SPEAKER_05Hey, I'm at your sidewalk. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yes, where we all have awkwardly go to the door and ask who can play.
SPEAKER_05I don't know though. I think that we were lucky though. We got to grow up with both. Yeah. Because I remember texting friends when we were teenagers and being like, meet at the spy. And then we just like knew the time and the place.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I do agree with that. Like we had a good mix of time before technology and then also like watching it develop as much as it has for us to do things like this.
SPEAKER_05For sure. It's crazy though the difference technology probably makes in our closing shifts when we think about it. How different do you think our parents' closing shifts were for March?
SPEAKER_06Like, I know, at least from the restaurant standpoint, there were times like when the power would go out. Did you ever have to use the old credit card readers? Like when they had to like slide to get the numbers. Like when they pulled out that stuff, I'd be like, first time, I was like, what kind of dinosaur shit is this?
SPEAKER_05But like, look, at home, like our home closing shifts. How different do you think ours are from our parents?
SPEAKER_06I don't know. I don't even remember my mom. I feel like my mom was like, good night.
SPEAKER_04And then she was like, Good bed. Like I think she read a book.
SPEAKER_05Well, I mean, if we had to imagine like some of the things that we use for our closing shifts that they probably wouldn't be able to use. Like for me, for instance, I wouldn't be able to use my headphones. No sound machine. I wouldn't be able to use my headphones to like listen to the music that I want to listen to while I'm doing my closing shift stuff. So then if I was in those days, I'd probably have to have a walkman. That's what I was about to say, girl. You we have to. So I probably wouldn't be able to move very fast or else my CD would skip. So can't go too far. It would probably elongate my closing shift. This is what I think of. Or I would have to have my music solo, I can't even hear it while I'm cleaning.
SPEAKER_06I don't know, because like I think of like my great aunt, and she's like in her 70s. So she likes to just sing like songs in her head while she does the dishes. So I guess it was a lot of just like go with the flow and they just created music as they did the things when they did the closing shows. Yeah. That'd be my theory. Like I guess I'd that's just with her being a singer, is that's what I know. But I don't know. I was like, now I'm like, go ask my mom, be like, how did you close?
SPEAKER_05What was your end-of-day task list? Mom, what did you do in those days? Like yeah, like we went to bed. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know, I was in my room. I don't know. I guess I just have a really imaginative, creative mind. Because I can think of a million things that would probably be different. Like, for instance, I bet they would have doors and windows open, letting in fresh air from all different angles.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05Probably for most of the night, probably even after going to bed. They didn't have ring doorbells and security systems and yeah, I yeah.
SPEAKER_06Constant fresh air, like not getting the relying, I guess, on the what their furnace. That's what it's called.
TiffanyI'm like, what is that thing? Um no, I'm scared to leave my windows open now.
SPEAKER_05That's what I mean. Like we live in such a more fearful time. Like, I bet that they would had a lot more relax relaxability, I would say, probably at the end of the days.
SPEAKER_06Well, even wasn't that gonna be a time they could leave the door open unlocked and yeah, leave the house and the doors unlocked. Or I saw like this older guy on the news was like, There was a time you could leave keys in your truck, leave it unlocked with your guns. Or not your guns, your his with your golf, his golf clubs in there. He's like, and now you can't do nothing. And I'm like, buddy. You live in the south side of Indy. Please lock your truck.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I can't do none of that now. For sure. Cannot. I don't know. And I mean, and to your point, no sound machine. Yes, like they probably had to like walk tiptoe.
SPEAKER_04The whole guy they don't like the baby. I just don't want to make any noises.
SPEAKER_06No sudden movements.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05I don't know though. It was my grandma who was like, you better turn that vacuum on every time that baby goes to sleep.
SPEAKER_06I did that with my daughter, and like sometimes she will sleep through loud noises, but then I feel like that's where the sound machine comes in too. Like it is a noise.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it's just a constant noise, I feel like. To me, it helps me sleep better personally. Yeah, oh, I love it. I love hearing that thing across the hallway. Like, yeah, it's my jam.
SPEAKER_06Or my favorite is one time I had like two kids sleepover, so I had one baby in one room, and then my daughter in the other, and they were on two different sound machines. Like one was the rain, one was a wide noise, and I could hear all of them in the center of iced location. I'm like, this is nice.
SPEAKER_05Everybody's everybody's peaceful. The other day it rained, and I was like, is my sound machine on? Because I do have like a sunset lamp, it's a sunrise lamp, but it has a sunset mode for like when you're trying to go to sleep, and it does, it emulates like the the I guess the light pattern of what would be a sunset. Oh, that'd be pretty. And the sound that I have on mine is kind of like a rain sound, and it rained the other day, and I was like, is my sunset on? No, my gutters were just leaking out the rain, and it sounded just like my sunset lamp, and I was like, Okay, that's that's probably not good.
SPEAKER_06I've done something similar, but it's like the sound machine will be on, and I think like I turned it off, and then I'll be like standing in the house. I'm like, is it raining?
SPEAKER_03Like, what's the sound?
SPEAKER_06The sun is out.
SPEAKER_03What is happening? Where are you?
TiffanyYes, so funny. You're talking about raining. Do you guys remember like the old humidifiers? My mom used to have one and I loved it, and it like had a stand and like a glass bowl. I've seen them that had a top and it like can't and it made the sound of oh, I loved that thing. I don't know what you're talking about. I I want one.
SPEAKER_05But I'll tell you a crazy sound actually that okay, this is some poor kids. Are you ready? Like, okay, so a crazy sound that always makes me so comfortable that I can sleep like a baby too. And I think it's also like the glow as well. A kerosene heater. I love a kerosene heater.
SPEAKER_06The ticking of it makes me like always thinking it's gonna blow up.
SPEAKER_05I don't care. I love it. I love the ticking, and I love the sound of like the burning. And yeah, no, I've never seen a humidifier like that. That's really cool. It almost looks like a table.
TiffanyYeah, my mom had one forever and I loved it. I don't know if she got it from like home interior or like Avon, you know what I mean? All those little things, but yes, it's a floor mist fountain. That's what it is.
SPEAKER_01A floor floor. I like it, it looks peaceful. Yeah, is it just like a sound? Like it just mist floor.
TiffanyAnd it also like what it's pushing out the sides, that's all that's like the humidity, just like a humidity, but it's open and it's not enclosed, so I kind of like that too. It's like you can't get like the mezzoe.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, that's dope. I don't think I need one.
SPEAKER_01I was gonna listen to this and be like, it's almost Mother's Day. I'm not good about saying anything that I want, so I feel like he has to like really listen and pay attention.
SPEAKER_06Well, I think this one airs after Mother's Day, so he I think he can't out.
SPEAKER_05Well, I don't even know when Mother's Day is. I'm I'm off. I'm off.
SPEAKER_06I'm off the 10th. I think I forget that it's almost because the only reason I know that is because my sister-in-law has prom the day before. Oh and I'm it's her senior year. I'm doing her hair and makeup. So I like have my days. My niece has prom that day too. And I think there were some last weekend, week before, and the week before that.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, isn't it exciting? The seasons. I saw my niece's prom dress and I almost cried.
SPEAKER_06I know, like, wasn't ready. How things have changed from when we opened.
TiffanyI'm not ready for that. But I know it's getting close.
SPEAKER_05It's probably changed for the better since I went to prom. I'm just gonna say it that way. My prom was not normal.
SPEAKER_06Did you my husband go the same prom? Because some of the stories he tells me, I'm like, yeah, you're I'm like, I always tell him, like, I don't think we would have been friends at that time. No, I'm serious.
SPEAKER_04I tell him, I'm like, I don't think we would have been friends. Like, God truly put us in this place at a certain time. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Uh yeah, I hope that prom is different now. I hope that prom is different now. You said is your niece? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I was like, will she tell you the truth about it?
SPEAKER_05You'll find out. She's a good kid, though. I don't think it's anything to worry about.
TiffanyUh I think it's important too to ask everybody else's opinions and like what could be different because not every mom has your standard, you know, get up in the morning, go to work, get off in the evening. Some of these moms are working thirds, so some of them are getting home as their babies are going to school and then they're sleeping. So I think that's important too.
SPEAKER_05I I actually can uh I can testify to that one. There was a solid year when my daughter actually is when my daughter started kindergarten. That entire year I was working nights, and it was rough going from 5 p.m. to 5 a.m. working dispatch, and then having to stay up after 5 a.m. to get her on the bus at 7:45, and then making trying to make sure that I don't sleep through when she's supposed to be getting off of the bus. I was like, yeah, I know I can't do nights, so props to anybody that can and can do that stuff. Like I would like to try it again when my son's in school, but mostly because it made me so available during the day. Like, yeah, I might I missed out on a whole lot of sleep, but I also think that was because I didn't really get a chance to get used to it past a year. That's a complete flip of my schedule. But yeah, that was uh really tough to try to do.
TiffanyDo you feel like your closing time happened when you got home and the kids got off to school, or do you think it was more like after they got home in the evenings and then you did your closing time before going to work again? I feel like a lot of maybe third strip moms are kind of like that.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, usually when they would get home in the evenings, it was an evening that I didn't work. Okay. So I was blessed with that. But even then, like it was still, I was sometimes I would do my closing stuff before I would go to sleep, like after I would put her on the bus, just so that when I wake up, I all I have to worry about is getting them home and doing what they need me to do for them for the evening. But there was so much time in the night, honestly, for me to get stuff done because I was already not sleeping at night and they were asleep, so it was like they weren't there. So things were done often.
TiffanySo that's your closing time is when you don't work the night, pretty much.
SPEAKER_05That's a good question. I'm glad I had something to share on that. But I will say that it was not as easy doing bar stuff. Like granted, she was a newborn at that time, it still wasn't as easy doing bar stuff, and I also think it was of the culture after work, you know, you're throwing some shots back and you know you're in a different mindset anyway. I can't imagine though trying to do third shift and trying to like because what if you're thirds and you have an active kid. We're recording? We've been recording for quite a few minutes now.
SPEAKER_04It's like four minutes. I'm not going to be a little bit more talking about third shift with Lensies.
TiffanyOkay, anyways. Oh shoot, what I was about to say. What was I about to say? Uh my friend Jennifer, I've written I mentioned her in one of the recent podcast episodes. She actually works thirds and she does it multiple days in a row. And you said something about an active child. Her little one is active. He's very active but she does the dang thing tired or not sometimes like she takes him the extracurriculars and stuff. No, like some days she doesn't get to sleep or if she's trying to sleep he has to be up and active so then she has to stay up too and she just finished school again. So some of those were spent you know just trying to get homework done. Yeah. But like when she I think she worked this weekend and now they're on a drive a 16 hour drive and a trip so she didn't get any sleep and she's just trying to sleep in the back and he's over here like hey no but she does it and she does it with grace.
SPEAKER_05Oh goodness. See that's the other part of it I was not graceful. Yeah I'm not I'm not graceful when I'm tired I am mean like I am oh no don't get it twisted too I was just be tired. But yeah I was pretty pretty straightforward.
SPEAKER_06We'll put it that way I was very straightforward when it was like daytime and it's like yeah mommy's supposed to be sleeping this okay like I'm easily like a 10 hour plus sleep type person and lately my daughter's letting me get like four to six and I'm lovely angry. I'm tired lovely girl like why am I double a Lani's a day I'm tired my ears are tired from listening.
TiffanyAlanis can we just talk about it let's talk about it because we've got it yet let's talk about it let's talk about it Tiffany what do you call Alani tell the pizza an Alani I'm sorry I can't help it I say it every time it's an Alani is it like the plural for Alani because my heart would burn love it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah just extra water to push it out more water.
TiffanyYou can have as much caffeine as you want with water more water than the more you pee and then it's like this is fine.
SPEAKER_04You're gonna be fast caffeine you're just going fast to a heart attack like the water at least calms down a bit and if you have enough caffeine you can pee fast enough it won't matter.
SPEAKER_05You can pee fast enough how do you think we do pre-workouts A Lon I like it all has caffeine we love caffeine you hear that Al and I sponsor us.
SPEAKER_06We love caffeine sponsor us you guys help us we need to everyone needs to call it Al and I hello we need to make this happen Al and I Al and I I love it always closing time because I've been waiting for this episode to sing that anyway it's closing time I know it's like it's been stuck in my head since we talked about it I love it I love that song oh well we are coming to the end of this episode but I just wanted to remind you that we know that we are all somebody's mom but after a closing shift you are gonna be you again whether it's for the night for a few hours or even just a few minutes of alone time with that full facial or a little drinky drink scroll in whatever you need to do just fill your cup because your babies deserve you to be recharged the next day so with that being said as a reminder if you go to bed and don't do the dishes or the toys just wake up and say who the hell closed last night and go about your day.
SPEAKER_05Amen because sure wasn't me sure it wasn't me oh man I love that though I'm so excited to use that closed last night oh man but honestly you guys we're gonna have some fun stuff coming up soon we'll line up here soon how you can get in touch with us and be a part of all the fun stuff that's gonna come up but something that we talked about recently we don't know when we don't know who or where but someday someone at some place we are all gonna go to a concert together and it's gonna be a real life mom's night out and we're gonna do an after movie for you guys so you can see our shenanigans I know last time me and Tiffany went to a concert we got messy as we always do when we go to concerts so I'll be responsible we'll see how this goes we'll have we'll take our we'll take grown ups with us yeah my husband's always their husband we'll take their husbandsha would say they are technically one of the girls yeah they are I am I'm pretty much I be fifth wheeling but other stuff to look forward to we're gonna have some future interviews special guests and surprise episodes little bonus funsies coming along the way and as always we want to connect with you guys.
TiffanyNow I don't know if this helped a little bit more but I know that it actually helped me I guess I need to fill my cup a little bit more because I don't do facials I'm a more of a let's just take a shower brush my teeth and go to bed. Girl you gotta get on Amazon if you want to maybe something but we want to know what you do during your closing shift share your hacks with us or your best chaos coordinating skills please because sharing is caring.
SPEAKER_05Yes please let us know but before we let you go I have a random kid moment for you guys. This one is like this one honestly in my opinion is typical sibling love and just brother activity. But I don't know why I thought it was the most hilarious thing in the moment in hindsight I'm like wow you should really be nice to your sister what a dick but anyway my kids were playing together they have these like little personal chairs that they can sit in in the playroom there's like two of them that are like swings and one that's like a regular chair. And I think they were on one of the swings I don't know but my daughter was hanging off of one of them like she was falling off of a cliff definitely wasn't a cliff it was you know the chair or whatever and she's screaming at the top of her lungs like when I first heard it I thought there was a problem and she was like help Bummy please help me please help me and literally my son because like I said I thought there was a problem so I'm looking over now and I'm like what is happening they're playing and my son just looks at her straight face unbothered and is like nah I'm good if you did that yourself you got that she does she does no call me when you call off a real cliff okay I'm good I'm all right I think I'm comfortable enough here what's the what was it earlier I spy with my little eye something annoying he's just guessing like he's like mm-mm girl uh huh uh she's always dogging on him saying I spy and that's exactly what she said I spy with my little eye something annoying and Tiffany guessed something I don't know what you said but she was like nope and I was like is it your brother and she was like yep and I was like dude I was just trying to dad away from her because I grew her like why siblings I love that oh man I'm sure there will be more until next time y'all see you later here comes all the places you can tell us by your closing chip stuff okay bye bye
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