Road To Redemption
Road To Redemption
The Holiday Season: How to Experience Peace and Joy with Family!
Ever wondered how to transform holiday chaos into a season of peace and joy? John Martin, Valerie Peterson and Drew Powell discuss ideas to equip you with the tools to navigate family dynamics, manage expectations, and keep Christ at the heart of your celebrations. Drawing inspiration from the song "Jesus at the Center of It All" and Matthew 6:33, we'll explore strategies for maintaining harmony, including creating new traditions, setting healthy boundaries, and embracing forgiveness. Discover how prayer and mindfulness can foster a serene home environment, even amid the holiday hustle.
We'll also tackle the stress of people-pleasing and the pressure to overindulge during festive times. Embrace the "best yes" philosophy to make thoughtful decisions about commitments, and learn why it's crucial to say no occasionally. With insights on self-control, especially in the face of family stressors like political debates, you'll find ways to focus on nurturing your faith and relationships. Prioritize self-care and mindful choices with us to step into the new year refreshed and regret-free. Listen along as we guide you through this journey of grace and balance, ensuring a holiday season filled with genuine peace and celebration.
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Welcome to Road to Redemption, a show sharing powerful life testimonies, giving hope to those on their own road to redemption.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Road to Redemption. I'm John Martin, your host, and today we have Valerie Peterson with us co-hosting, and, of course, drew Powell.
Speaker 2:Hey we're all here in the studio, so excited to be here in the studio, so excited to be here. And we were just talking about we're coming up upon the holiday season and we just know it can be a stressful time for many folks and we wanted to just help prepare you for the holiday season and how to deal with family, deal with loss, grief, all the things that come up. So here we are, valerie, here we are.
Speaker 3:I love it. You know we have our coffee in hand and you know it's just like join us as we sit around this table and talk. Folks that are listening today. You know we were talking off air. How you know the song back about nine, ten years ago by Israel Holton. Jesus at the center of it all.
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 3:If we can just keep him at the center of it all. Yes, Everything is going to run in decency and order. I love the verse in Matthew 6, 33, Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and everything else shall be added to you as well. You know, there's something about keeping our eyes fixed on him as we walk through the holidays, because you know the saying that our expectations can lead to offense. I want everyone to think about this for a moment. When we have these expectations, the holidays should go just like this or that. Sometimes they don't. Does that make sense? So if we can keep our focus on Christ and I love the book Boundaries by Townsend and McLeod where they talk about basically we cannot control anyone else but ourselves be who they are, Even family members not going in with huge expectations that they're going to treat me just like this or things are going to go just like that, because they may not. But if Christ is at the center, he's going to walk you through whatever you're going to go through during the holiday season.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, and we can't. We have to family's family and we can't divorce ourselves from our family and all of us have issues that we're dealing with. So we've got to prepare ourselves, you know, to be able to. We can't control, like you said, valerie, so we can just best have ourself in the right mindset when we go into these relationships with family, to do it in love and peace and show the love of Christ. One of the things I was thinking about is just the power of prayer. One of the things I was thinking about is just the power of prayer. You know the Bible talks about praying, really the importance of prayer so much. And if we can, just we can pray. You know it might be with our wife or other family members as we go in to meet with family over the holidays. If we can pray before that, you know, and then if we have to go again, pray and just bring in prayer. I do believe that will help.
Speaker 3:Oh, my goodness, yes, definitely. You know, and you know the the power of coming in agreement with somebody else. You know two, or when two or more gather in my name, I'm there, I'm present in the midst of them and I answered them. So you know, we pray, can pray individually, but there is that coming in agreement as you walk into the holiday season. You know, john and Drew, so often what I hear in the work that I do is I just want our home to be a place of peace.
Speaker 3:I hear that a lot and during the holiday season where more than ever it should be, because we're celebrating Christ's birth and we're celebrating Thanksgiving, it should be, you know can we intentionally say let's let our home be a place of peace? And what does that look like for the individual that is listening in today? Is it putting your cell phone up at night and not having to take a bunch of phone calls and knowing you can get back to the people that are calling? Is it having dinner around the table putting on Christmas music? What is it that you're going to have Christ's presence there and you're going to have peace in your home? So often during the holidays there's so many commitments that you're going out and you're, you know, you're smiling, you're happy. Then you go home and you're exhausted, and so you may be not giving your spouse and your children your best.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And how important that is to gosh. You know I've got to say to the listening audience. You know I've got to say to the listening audience our children are watching you and we tend to move towards what we saw. Therefore, make the holiday season Thanksgiving and Christmas fun and a place of peace. Start maybe some new traditions in the home. That's a great idea To bring just God's presence and because they're going to remember those fun things that you did and those traditions that you set.
Speaker 4:Absolutely. What a great idea.
Speaker 3:Definitely.
Speaker 2:Another thing that was bubbling up in my spirit is just forgiveness. You know, there's a lot, I think there's a lot of just unforgiveness in the world and Christ, he, he calls us to forgive, um, and especially a lot in family dynamics around the holidays. You know, we, we can all work on that, just to there might be somebody that's and be there, you know, have, have you forgiven, because that can really be a big, big thing that's so good you know, and you know I love the book by john bevere, the bait of satan, how satan does work over time in in getting us offended, having us walk in resentment and bitterness.
Speaker 3:And you know, there's something about just sitting before the Lord and saying, father God, whom do I need to forgive? And writing those people down that he reminds you that maybe you haven't forgiven. And then just speaking their names out loud Father, help me, or I do forgive Uncle so and so, and you know it is.
Speaker 2:It can be such a tool to walk into an event, like you're saying, with a pure heart, with a healed heart, because unforgiveness is like drinking poison, hoping the other person will die you know, I love that analogy gotcha, that's good, it just keeps us stuck, so it is so worth forgiving others it is especially the holiday season like we're talking about with families, because sometimes these are people you just see once a year or once every few years. But you, you, a lot of people, are holding unforgiveness and be like, okay, I can go and try to tolerate this person for, you know, an hour or two, but is there really peace there? Um, you know, so I, I just really know that Christ is calling us to forgive during the holiday season.
Speaker 4:So I was just wondering you know it might be different for each relationship what? Does that forgiveness look like.
Speaker 2:Well, you have to forgive in your heart, and it's you know. If you truly forgive that person in your heart, then you know, then you've done your part and you as well, let them know that you tell them you're sorry for what you've done. That's so powerful.
Speaker 3:There's such freedom in it.
Speaker 4:There's a freedom, yeah, a release. There's something about two words that I'm like such power in repenting and maybe before God and forgiving those two things, wow sets us free, and you're talking about keeping Jesus at the center of it all and remembering okay, jesus, I want to forgive, like Jesus forgave and forgives.
Speaker 3:What does it say in Colossians 3? Be quick to forgive.
Speaker 4:Quick Amen, can we be?
Speaker 3:quick this holiday season, this Christmas and Thanksgiving, to forgive and let things go.
Speaker 4:Amen.
Speaker 2:Yes, good one, john. The other thing that I wanted to add too, I just feel like, is not being overcommitted during the holidays and just trying to slow down and not overcommitting your schedule from one event, one party to where you're just so busy that you can't really experience Christ and the holidays and family joy, because you're just going from one event to another event to, and there's no peace in that.
Speaker 3:And can we pre-plan? Can we sit down as a family, sit down with your spouse and say you know what are the events that the Lord would really want us at and what are those things and events that we can say no to, because we've got to keep healthy boundaries around our family to keep peace in our home? I love the word Holt representing hungry, angry, lonely. I love they say it at AA all the time. Hungry, angry, lonely and tired. If you're any of those four things lonely, I love they say it at AA all the time. Hungry, angry, lonely and tired. If you're any of those four things, stop.
Speaker 2:That's good. I've never heard that.
Speaker 3:And when we're tired. I don't know about you guys. It's just hard to be yourself.
Speaker 3:It is, it's hard to draw yourself to the Lord. It's hard to treat others in a loving way. Just stop. Sometimes I think we can get into people pleasing around the holidays that we got to make everybody else happy but we're miserable. Don't allow that to happen. It's okay to say no. I love Lisa Turker's book the Best yes. We've got to look at during Christmas and Thanksgiving. What is the best yes, what do we say yes to and what maybe can we say no to?
Speaker 4:this holiday season. What is the best, yes, and what should we say no to? And it's okay to say no to some things.
Speaker 3:That's it.
Speaker 4:I'm not able to do that. That's it. That's good.
Speaker 3:You know that scripture verse, wherever it is, we have a choice we can please God or we can please man. Which are we going to choose? Sometimes we become people pleasers instead of God pleasers. And can we at this you know, beautiful season of the year be God-pleasers?
Speaker 2:Wow, well, folks, we're talking about preparing for the to forgive, to plan, plan out your events. This is so good, really good stuff.
Speaker 3:That's it, and really keeping Jesus at the center of it all. Letting go and letting God.
Speaker 2:Keeping Jesus at the center. That is so awesome. It really is.
Speaker 3:Something that I often see around Thanksgiving and Christmas is folks will explain that we can, as human beings, think in black and white terms. Either I'm doing it right or we, the other extreme, I've done it really wrong. That type of thinking can open the door to extremes. Example I'm eating. Well, I only had one donut I'm gonna eat the whole box and often people will share with me. I get out of control and go to the other extreme around the holidays, so I put on 10, 15 pounds. I've drank way too much.
Speaker 3:I've spent way too much money, I've drank too much caffeine and I'm just you know, I'm just not feeling well as they go into the new year. Can we ask the Lord? It says in the word his grace is sufficient. In our weakness he'll be our strength. Can we find balance? Can we find the middle ground in walking through this Christmas and Thanksgiving season, instead of going to one extreme and getting into the new year and have such regrets?
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I hear a lot of that, and so something for our listeners to think about.
Speaker 4:That is, and what can we do to avoid getting overscheduled? That's good about you can have so much on your schedule. It creates more stress, and what are some things we can do to avoid Like I don't know? Is there, you got some tips for us.
Speaker 3:Definitely is be thinking about what you think about. What are you saying to yourself about the situation at hand? Example you could be saying I've got to buy my kids all these gifts and I'm going to just put it on credit cards. I'm just going to do it, not realizing. Hmm, maybe we can cut back a little bit this year. You know, maybe just finding the word is the middle ground, finding balance, trying to be aware of the black and the white, thinking and walking through the holiday season in peace. Finding the middle ground and knowing but knowing. But knowing God is. He says in Isaiah 41, 10,. Behold, I am the Lord, your God, who takes you by the hand. Ask him, lead me what to do, what not to do. Maybe help me to be aware when I'm overeating, when I'm doing something in excess. Help me to find balance through the holiday season.
Speaker 2:Amen, that's good. Well, another thing I would say is just to watch your drinking of alcohol. I mean, it's it's, it's. The Bible doesn't say it's sinful to have a drink, but if you drink, get drunk, you drink too much. That's you know, that's what's sinful. So, um, in family situations of stress, we can be susceptible to having that too many drinks, and then we end up getting into fights and saying things that we would not have said had we not had too many drinks. And maybe it's best we just don't drink at all. When you're in those family dynamics where it's going to be a lot of stress that you might be tend to drink too much, that might be a good idea as well, because that the alcohol consumption can really cause a lot of emotions and a lot of things to come out that you would not have said otherwise.
Speaker 3:That's the truth.
Speaker 2:So be mindful of that yeah.
Speaker 3:And what does it do? It lowers our inhibitions. It lowers the ability to have the last fruit of the spirit, which is self-control. Put a guard over my mouth, oh Lord. Keep a watch over the doors of my lips. It's hard to do that when someone's under the influence of too much substance.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is, it's a reality and that's probably really the biggest thing around the holidays is people drink too much and they say things and do things they regret.
Speaker 3:Such a good point. We'll just encourage you to be aware of these things.
Speaker 4:Being aware and and admitting and knowing that there is help and I don't want to lie to myself I need help to do it, and so maybe it's that for you or what is it in your family. I'm not going to bring up politics at the table. I'm not going to just try to debate for debate's sake. I I don't know.
Speaker 2:I love True what you just said, because if our listeners can understand, until we acknowledge we cannot change, we cannot grow, we cannot Right, and I would challenge people this holiday season, because it is politics does cause a lot of fights over the holiday season and, um, I would say let's try to share our faith, yeah, as opposed to our political beliefs. Um, you know, just around the holidays, because it's because it's a time to bring family together and it's just too much of a thing that can bring in a lot of arguments. So let's try to share our faith in Jesus, amen.
Speaker 3:You know, as you were just talking, I was just thinking, john, that really, because of the verse in Galatians 2.20, it's no longer I, but it's Christ who lives within me. We're carriers of God's presence wherever we go. So, as we walk into a Christmas gathering, we're a carrier of his presence it's amazing to think about.
Speaker 3:So the course of our conversation is going to go a certain way, because he's within us. You know, I feel called just to say you know, apply self-care, apply self-care. God made us emotional, physical and spiritual beings. Therefore, don't not get some exercise. You know, physically take care of yourself. Physically take care of yourself. Emotionally take care of yourself and spiritually take care of yourself every single day as we walk into the holiday season. Allergy, when we're on an airplane, when the air mask comes down, first you put it over your face, then the toddler on your lap or the person next to you. We've got to take care of ourselves or we can't take care of anyone else. No one's going to take care of us either. We've got to be taking care of ourselves as we walk through this Christmas season.
Speaker 4:And that makes me think about what you said about the healthy boundaries. With people pulling at you you know, hey, I need this or I need you know. Can you come over here, like to remember, you know, to have those boundaries going into it?
Speaker 3:When to say yes, maybe when to say no and explain. You don't have to explain, but just you know. You know the one of the best things that I think you can use when someone says, hey, will you be on this christmas committee to do this, this, and that is say, hey, can I get back to you, let me pray about it, and I'll get back to you and we'll we'll discuss it. You know, let's see what the lord has to say on all these activities, right?
Speaker 2:Hey, that's so true, and most of the mistakes that I've made in my life have been one, because I was tired when you said that. I mean when I'm tired and worn down I make mistakes. And two, when I don't take time to pray about it. That's so huge. We're bombarded with so much, and how often do we take time to pray about things and get back with somebody? And often we don't, because we feel like we don't have time. We've got to do it, we've got to make the decision. Often it's a mistake.
Speaker 4:That's so good, john.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'll never forget a minister saying to me years ago you know, and this is for all of us, our listeners you know you could do many things he said, but God's not calling you to the many, he's calling you to the specific and even as we walk through Christmas he's calling us to specific things for his plans and purposes. Can we be sensitive to what we need to be at and maybe what we don't need to be at?
Speaker 2:that's good well, just uh. The thing I keep hearing too is just to slow down. In this holiday season everybody is just so rushed. You're right. Everywhere we go, every most, every um, you know, and everybody's so rushed. And I just think the Lord is saying just to slow down and just to be present with the people you're with Amen, so good and once again.
Speaker 3:You know that as we slow down, then our homes can be a place of peace you know sanctuary and even moms and dads putting your phones up at night. I'll never forget seeing a couple in my office and the husband said to the wife hon, I don't feel your present. You're just scrolling on your phone. As the kids and I do some fun things, you're just sitting there scrolling on your phone. Can we put our phones up and just interact with each other?
Speaker 4:Amen. Look people in the eye, talk to them and let's make a list of what we're grateful for. We're coming into a season of Thanksgiving Reflection. Looking back at the year, you know there's been some tough times. There probably will be more tough times, but what are we thankful for? What are we grateful for?
Speaker 3:Well, often I give in the work I do an assignment to write down a gratitude list. Okay, you know, just keeping that list somewhere in your Bible If you keep a journal that you can refer to when you're like stressed out and like nothing's going right, I'm exhausted, go to that gratitude list and just be like amazed at all the things that are good in your life right now.
Speaker 4:Amen, amen.
Speaker 2:Well, it's been a great show and as we come to the end, and there's three things on Road to Redemption that we encourage you to do. And the first thing is to read the Bible. Pick up a Bible. God will speak to you through his written word. That is the greatest way he speaks to you is through the Bible. So we encourage you to pick up a Bible. Pick up a Bible. God will speak to you through His written Word. That is the greatest way he speaks to you is through the Bible. So we encourage you to pick up a Bible. If you don't have one, just open the Bible app they're everywhere and just start reading His Word right now. We promise he will speak to you.
Speaker 2:Next is to get into a Christ-centered, bible believing church and just go and give it one year of your life. We promise it will change your life forever. And the last thing is to get into a small group. All your churches they have small groups. These are life groups. These are folks that you can be accountable to, that can minister to you weekly. Get in that small group. We promise that that's going to change your life. So, folks, just grow closer to Jesus. Put Jesus in the center of your life and we know great things are coming in Jesus name Amen.
Speaker 4:Amen. What do they say? Jesus is the reason for the season.
Speaker 1:You've been listening to Road to Redemption, sharing powerful life testimonies, giving hope to those on their own Road to Redemption. If you have any comments or questions, we would love to connect with you. You can reach out to us at destinyradiolive. Thank you for listening and we'll see you next week on Road to Redemption.