Road To Redemption
Road To Redemption
Hannah Rodriguez - Advice for Child Anxiety and Building a Peaceful Home
Hannah Rodriguez joins us to discuss effective strategies for alleviating anxiety in children and the crucial role parents play in this endeavor. The conversation explores the impact of technology, the importance of role modeling, setting boundaries, and fostering emotional intelligence in the family dynamic. Hannah emphasizes the importance of putting God first in your life and we also cover:
• Current landscape of childhood anxiety and its implications
• The significant effect of electronics on children's emotional health
• Necessity of parental role modeling in shaping children's mindset
• Importance of establishing consistent boundaries and discipline
• The value of allowing children to experience losing and hardships
• Strategies to help children recognize and manage their emotions
• Encouraging parents to seek support amidst their struggles
• Spiritual foundations as a source of peace for families
• Creating a nurturing and fun family environment for emotional security
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Welcome to Road to Redemption, a show sharing powerful life testimonies, giving hope to those on their own road to redemption. Well, welcome.
Speaker 2:This is Road to Redemption. This is Valerie Peterson. We want to welcome you this morning. We're so psyched for this show and it's a show that John Martin and I have been talking about for a bit and we just saw a real need for it. And in the studio today we have Hannah Rodriguez. She is a therapist with the Lunday Counseling Center, which is right here in Destin, florida, at the Destin Commons. You can check out online about Hannah and everyone else on staff there. Once again, lunday Counseling, right here in Destin. We are going to talk about how to help your anxious child and Hannah and I and Drew have been talking a little bit before the show and there's just a lot of families that are dealing with anxiety, meaning their children are dealing with anxiety, and you know. First of all, hannah, welcome to Road to Redemption. Thank you for having me so glad you're here and I just want to start off and just if you could share a little bit about you and what you do.
Speaker 3:Okay, sure, so I work over at Lundy Counseling Center. I work under Dr Lundy there and I work primarily with children and adolescents. My background is actually in behavioral analysis, what I got my degree in, so I've also got a little bit of a background in that as well. Awesome.
Speaker 2:You know, I do want to ask you, with working specializing with children, Hannah, what are you seeing today?
Speaker 3:A lot of anxiety. There's just a lot of children that are dealing with fear, uncertainty, insecurity.
Speaker 2:And can you take that a step further and share with the parents listening today? What would you recommend? What would you say? Maybe why you think children are more anxious today?
Speaker 3:Well, one of the reasons that I found is the access to electronics, and the more time that they spend on electronics, the more anxious they become, because the less opportunity they have to develop skills and tools that they need to be able to regulate their own emotion.
Speaker 2:So what do you suggest to the parents of the children that you're seeing concerning electronics?
Speaker 3:So we really need to be limiting their access to electronics and giving them more time to play, to find hobbies that are working with their hands or things like that, Something that gives them the ability to be creative, so that they can find things that will help them to like when they are feeling anxious, that they can go to that will help calm them down.
Speaker 2:You know you and I talked about, off air, how children model what they see. Yes, and you and I talked about how we tend to and I just even think of my family of origin. We tend to move towards what we saw. What would you say to the parents listening in about that, concerning their children dealing with anxiety? What would you recommend concerning being role models in the home?
Speaker 3:So one of the things is kids are going to mirror what they see, whether that's on TV or examples within the home, and so, as parents, we need to be making sure that we're setting an example that aligns with the word of God, and we also need to be watching the way that we speak, because words have such power, and so if we're speaking about things that are going on or about other people in a negative or critical way, our kids are going to pick up on that and that's actually going to become their inner voice. So they're not going to feel secure and they're going to hear in their own head all of their mistakes, all of their shortcomings. Secure, and they're going to hear in their own head all of their mistakes, all of their shortcomings, and they're going to be worried that that's how their family sees them as well.
Speaker 2:Wow, you know as you're talking. I was just thinking in the verse. Life and death is in the power of the tongue. Choose life.
Speaker 3:Exactly.
Speaker 2:So, as parents, choose life today and be aware I don't know if you agree, but if you are going to talk negatively about a certain situation, have the last fruit of the spirit self-control to do it maybe with your spouse. Or if you're going to talk something through with a friend without your children, right there, yeah exactly Now you're human, but if you can get in that groove, would you agree with that? Talk behind closed doors. Your children don't need to listen to adult conversations.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly, and they need to know that their parents or their caregivers have control, that, no matter what comes, no matter what situation they might find themselves in, that their parents have got it and that they're going to keep them safe. So they also have to make sure that they're setting clear, set boundaries and that there is discipline. So there has to be the consistency of if you say something, you follow through. If you don't follow through, they're not going to trust you, and so if a situation arises where they really need to be able to lean in and trust you, they're not going to be able to because you haven't followed through with your word in the past.
Speaker 2:Wow how important it is what you speak you follow through. I love the book by Kevin Lehman. It's called Making your Children Mine Without Losing Yours, and he talks what you're just saying right here, and he talks about the importance of reality. Discipline meaning saying you have a choice, hon, but you're going to have to follow through with what I've just asked, else this is your consequence. So making your guidelines clear to your kids is just so important too, and it is a safety net Exactly Our guidelines for your guidelines for your children.
Speaker 3:Listeners, it is a safety net and it tells your children that they are loved them know what happens if they don't meet a requirement, but also having those clear set expectations where you say, okay, when these things happen, then these things happen. So it could be when you do this then you get this, or it can be if you don't like. If this does not happen, then these are the consequences of that. This is what's going to happen. But you have to follow through and you have to be consistent on both sides. You can't just be consistent with the reward and not be consistent with the punishment. You have to be consistent with both.
Speaker 2:So good. I worked in patient care with teens and what I really saw you know, doing the family therapy on the unit was teenagers aren't going to say it, but they crave the guidelines. They make your guidelines. Clear is what we're saying to the listeners today, because it is going to bring them peace. It's going to bring them feel like once again, the word is a safety net, they're cared for, they're loved. You know, I love this saying rules without relationship leads to rebellion. But the other extreme is love without rules leads to a false sense of entitlement. We want that middle ground. We want to show our kids we love them. You know, if I'm that middle ground, don't go to the extremes, right, hannah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and then we also have to allow our children to lose. Losing is important. I know it's hard to watch our kids when they're struggling and they're you know, and they might fail or something, but it is so important for their development and, like their own self-worth, is learning how to lose, solve their own problems and even take responsibility. If they're having a problem at school, whether it's with another student or it's struggling academically in a class, we need to be there to help, guide them how to solve it. Ultimately, we have to age appropriately, allow them to then go and take responsibility and work to solve the problem, because if we don't, then they're going to develop this sense of helplessness that they actually don't have the capability of doing these things for themselves. That's so good.
Speaker 2:You know the helicopter parenting concept, and when we do everything for them, they don't get the chance to build their own self-esteem and feel good about accomplishing things. You know I want to shift here, hannah, and ask you about how do you educate your children about emotion? You know I look at how important it is to teach them about anxiety, and their feelings are neither right or wrong. They're there. It's what you do with them that become right or wrong, right.
Speaker 3:Right, exactly, yeah, it's OK to be anxious, it's OK to be angry, but it's all in how you manage those emotions and the way that you respond to them that matter With helping our kids understand their emotion. It's good to help, especially when they're young, to start labeling those emotions when we see them, of going oh I can see that you're really angry right now, or you seem like you're really afraid, and just labeling those for them helps them to be able to identify what they're feeling. And then from there, you seem like you're really afraid and just labeling those for them helps them to be able to identify what they're feeling. And then from there you can start working on the things that they need to do that are gonna help them feel better or to calm down.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what would be some suggestions to parents? If their child is like mommy, I'm just feeling really scared and anxious. What would you encourage the parent to do?
Speaker 3:So let them know that you know, first and foremost, it's okay, you know, it's okay that they're feeling that way. If they're unable to let you know what's going on, like they don't know why they're feeling that way, just having that security of knowing, like okay, it's, it's okay, Then also asking them okay, do you, what can I do to help? Maybe they need a hug or you can talk to them. Okay, let's go outside. You can start making suggestions of things that they can do. That will actually help get some of that energy out, because it is a pent up, you know energy and then also prayer.
Speaker 2:You know, praying with them. Yeah, it's praying with them. I don't know about you, but that consistent prayer to teach our kids Jesus is always there. If you're on the playground at school and you're feeling anxious, you can go to him, you know, and really teaching them. Maybe some specific verses on anxiety and fear you know memorizing them. How about artwork at home? I'm sure you recommend they talk about that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, art is a great way because it helps us express ourselves and it also helps to release our emotion. But we don't actually have to face the emotion when we do it. So if it's something really big or it seems too overwhelming for the child, then art is a great way for them to go and kind of release some of that emotion into their artwork.
Speaker 2:Awesome. What would you say to the parent listening in Hannah that is really struggling with their own anxiety and are like I'm listening to you, ladies, but I can't help my child because I'm dealing with such anxiety? What would you say to them?
Speaker 3:Good support. You know you need a good support group, whether that's, you know, a small group or you know even counseling for yourself. But you have to have support. We weren't meant to do this alone and we weren't meant to raise our children all on our own. It's supposed to be a communal effort. We're supposed to do it with those that are like-minded, so those that we're going to church, with those that we're doing life with. So you're not supposed to do it alone.
Speaker 3:And I think so often as parents, we feel like we have to bear the burden all on our own and we can't allow other people in, or we can't allow them to help us, or we definitely can't admit when we're struggling. But it's so important to have that good support system. There's people that you can go to that are going to speak life over you, they're going to lift you up and they're going to remind you of the promises of God and that, ultimately, he's in control and so, no matter what happens, god's got us and he will pull us through, you know with someone listening today.
Speaker 2:Can you find one person to be accountable to right?
Speaker 2:Just one person concerning your anxiety, one person to be accountable to, or find someone you respect, that maybe is your age or a little bit older, that you can say, hey, can we meet for coffee once a week? Can I be accountable to you concerning anxiety? That I'm dealing with? You know I look at in John 14, 27,. It says my peace, my peace. I leave with you, not as the world gives. I give Love. That verse my peace. And if people listening today can look at, god, almighty wants to give us His peace today. But how do we get His peace is by spending some time with Him, right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean we have to spend time in the Word and we have to get our priorities straight.
Speaker 3:So we have to have the proper order in our life and that is God first, spouse second, kids third and everything else.
Speaker 3:If you don't have God first, then everything else is going to fall apart, because he is what holds everything together. And then in a marriage, as a parent, it is so important for us to put our spouse after God, because kids grow up and they leave the home and they have their own families, and then it's just you and your spouse. So if you've spent all of your time putting your children first, then your marriage is going to fall apart, and that's actually what you know like. That example is then what those kids are going to go and take and put into their own families. And so if the example has been that the kids always come first, above God, above the spouse, then their lives are also going to start to kind of crumble and fall apart, because the foundation's not firm, and I look at listeners today can look at what's been handed down to them and they can choose what they want to hand down to the next generation, to their children.
Speaker 2:And if you saw a lot of stress and worry and anxiety in your home growing up, you can choose to do something so different. And you and I talked about Hannah off air how people are craving for peace in their home, the world. There's such uncertainty and there's some chaos in our world today. Have peace in your home, bring peace in your home and look at creative ways in doing that. Pray together, doing things together as a family.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, that's a big one. That's important to be able to do things together, to laugh, have fun, because laughter helps strengthen bonds and the stronger your bond is, the more secure your kids are gonna feel when they're feeling anxious or nervous or afraid, that they can go to you and rely on you and that you're gonna help them through and that you're gonna point them in the direction that they need to go.
Speaker 2:You know, I think kids really love to see mom and dad have a healthy relationship. I remember, Hannah, as a little girl, my mom and dad went on a date night every Friday night and I remember watching them leave and feeling security that they were putting their marriage as a priority. I look back on it and go, wow, they did show me something. You know that they kept their marriage strong. Anything you want to say there about keeping your marriage strong that reduces anxiety for children.
Speaker 3:It does, yes. So the stronger your marriage is and the more unified you are together, the more your kids are going to feel secure, because they see you, especially when they're younger. They see you as as the foundation you know you're. You're what's holding things together. So if y'all are constantly fighting, or there's constant tension in the home, fighting, or there's constant tension in the home.
Speaker 2:They pick up on that and they're going to emulate that. That's so true. We've kind of touched on all this, but I just want to close out today. You know insane. Find a good church. We said how important the word of God is. Get in the word, find a strong, bible-based church, and we just encourage you today to find a small group or find accountability. There's something about that that is going to help you to reduce listeners' anxiety and you're going to pass that on to the next generation. I'm going to just close out in prayer today, father God, thank you, you're right here with us, lord. We ask that every single listener right now, father God, feels your peace that far surpasses human understanding as they keep their hearts and their minds in you. Father, we pray that this show today is going to give families creative ideas to keep peace and to reduce anxiety in their children's lives. And to reduce anxiety in their children's lives. We together, corporately, just give you all the thanks, all the praise and all the glory in Jesus' mighty, mighty name.
Speaker 1:Amen, amen, you've been listening to Road to Redemption, sharing powerful life testimonies, giving hope to those on their own road to redemption. If you have any comments or questions, we would love to connect with you. You can reach out to us at destinyradiolive. Thank you. Have any comments or questions? We would love to connect with you. You can reach out to us at destiny radio dot live. Thank you for listening and we'll see you next week on road to redemption.