Natasha Buchanan - Faith, Grief, And The Journey To Provision

A knock at the door changed everything. Natasha shares the raw moment she learned her husband Jason was killed in Afghanistan, the flood of grief that followed, and the unexpected ways community, prayer, and time carried her from survival to strength. We open the living room of that day—strangers bearing unbearable news, friends filling the silence with presence—and follow her back to Alaska where family kept life moving when she could not.

From there, the conversation widens into a surprising place: money. Natasha names a poverty spirit formed by early lack and reshaped by God through Scripture and obedience. We explore stewardship as relationship, not spreadsheets—why budgeting without prayer can become idolatry, how giving remains about the heart even when leaders fail, and the two biblical streams of provision: miracle and abundance. Together we wrestle with the question behind every money fear: is God actually good, and will He provide? Natasha anchors the answer in Jesus’ wilderness test and the last word the Father spoke.

We also talk about life rebuilt: marriage to David Buchanan, blessed with four children, businesses flourishing, and a home led by prayerful decisions. Natasha and John get practical—daily Scripture, finding a Christ-centered church, joining a small group, making yourself known, and sharing testimony so you do not face money anxiety or grief alone. Parenting gets real too: training kids to be friends, addressing conflict fast, and seeking God’s wisdom for the hard questions.

If you’re standing in a wilderness of bills, loss, or doubt, this story offers a clear path forward: lean into God’s voice, refuse isolation, and treat every resource—breath, words, time, money, beauty—as His to steward. Listen, share with someone who needs hope, and leave a review so more people can find their way back to provision and peace.

Here is a link to Natasha Buchanan's book Hope with Abandon: https://www.amazon.com/Hope-Abandon-Natasha-Landphair-Buchanan/dp/B0F6VQDXQR

For more information contact us at
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Transcript

Natasha’s Story Begins

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I'm John Martin with my friend Natasha Buchanan. How are you?

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Hey, I'm so good. It's so good to see you again.

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Talk a little bit about, you know, your journey more. I know specifically with Jason, that's that was a really tough thing. I mean, do you want to talk a little more about that?

Marriage And Special Forces Move

Jason’s Death Notification

Community Holds The Grief

Alaska, Motherhood, And Survival

Beauty From Ashes

SPEAKER_01 0:16

And we both grew up in Alaska. I was living in Alaska until 2007 when I met my husband Jason. And we got married after four months and four days after the day that we met. We got married and he was going to North Carolina to train for special forces. So we both moved down there immediately after the wedding. And we were married for about seven and a half years before he was killed in Afghanistan. So the day that Jason died, I got a phone call and they said, Natasha, why aren't you at home? And I was like, I don't even know who you are. Why are you? What a weird question. And I explained that we had moved and they said, okay, stay there. Don't go anywhere. We're on our way. And I was like, like, this, that's not, that's not ever what you want to hear. So I was like, okay, maybe, you know, kind of talking myself out of it. Like maybe, maybe it's not anything bad. Maybe he forgot to sign some paperwork, something like that. And they knocked on the door. And I remember the lady who was standing there, her body was bent under, as if under the weight of the grief or the weight of the information she had to deliver. And I said, Is it bad? And she said, Yeah, it's bad. And I was like, Is he dead? Fully expecting her to say, No, he's in a hospital in X country. I was fully expecting information about he had been wounded and he was somewhere. And she said, Yeah, he's dead. And I stepped back into my house and they followed me. And I was, everything in me wanted to shove them out of my house and close the door and say, get away with your ugly lies. But you know, in that moment, that the news is too heavy and too serious for them to bring it without being completely sure. So the weight of it hit pretty hard pretty fast. And I began calling. I started with his closest friends, and then I called my family and just kind of worked through a list of people who would need who would need the information just to process it until it got so real that I couldn't handle it anymore. And I stopped calling people and let the information spread on its own. But I remember my friend Amy came over and brought food. And I was like, why would you bring food? I can't eat anything. But I began to realize it was for all of the people who came to visit. And then I realized that if people from our church had not shown up that day, if they had not been physically present, I felt as if I would have snapped. I felt as if I would have been in the backyard digging holes with my face. It was such a visceral pain. It's indescribable. And I felt if I had been alone, it could have killed me. So I was so grateful to this day for our church community community at Mana, Mana Church in North Carolina. They surrounded us beautifully. From that point, there was uh after a couple of weeks, I Jason's parents came right away, of course, and they stayed until after the funeral. They went home, they were home for three or four days, and I called them and I was like, I need you to come back. And so they did. Doug and Jean came back to be with us for another week or two. After that point, I went ahead and went back to Alaska and my sister cared for me for several months because I could hold my girls and snuggle them and sing to them, but I couldn't make them a peanut butter jelly sandwich. You know, I just wasn't functional. It was such a deep pain. And I remember there was a time period in there where I would I'd go for about a week almost without feeling the pain of it. And I felt as if the Lord was holding me in his hand. And there would be a day where he'd kind of open his hand and the pain would wash in like these waves. And it was so unbearable. And I and I know the Lord is so kind because he knew what would break me and he knew how much I could, how much I could hand. And it was if as if he would open his hands and let the pain wash over me and then cover me again with his hands. And I felt again so aware of that at the time of the Lord's constant goodness to me, even in my grief and his presence with me, and really experiencing that pain is always, always an opportunity to grow closer to the heart of God. And in my grief, I was not functional. It was very much like a baseball bat to the back of the head. So I went with my two daughters. We moved back to Alaska and my sister took care of us, and my cousin Jody, the two of them really took care of us for about a year because I was not okay. You know, I was really deep in the depth of my pain and pain, you know, suffering. And during that time, I was I started serving at our church there, and David's parents ended up introducing me to David one day in December, and we got married exactly four months later. And it's been just this incredibly beautiful story of the Lord's mind-blowing kindness to me, constant kindness. He's so outrageously kind to me.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

You know, when these tragedies happen, what what advice do you have?

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Get alone with the Lord. Get alone with the Lord. I had so many days where I would lay on my face, I would turn on worship music and lay on my face and say, Lord, I can't get up from this place until you pick me up. Because I couldn't move under the weight of it. And he is the only, in those moments, he is the only strength we have. He's the only comfort we have. But he's a brilliant comforter. So get, I would say, get alone with the Lord.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

Well, let's talk a little bit about, as I said, you and David and y'all's life now, because y'all have a very blessed life. Y'all have four kids, you know, your two kids with Jason and the two kids y'all have together, and you're just flourishing, you know, you're blessed. You have a building business, a pool business, uh doing design, you're doing ministry work. You're so it's like you've it's a lot of encouraging because you've become a lot from where you were, you know, going through that tragedy. So to talk a little bit about that and what God's doing in your life and what you have to say, you know, to our listeners.

Confronting A Poverty Spirit

SPEAKER_01 6:30

Yeah, the Lord has really brought incredible beauty from the ashes that of what the enemy meant for evil and how the Lord has turned it for good. And that's been a process, you know. And one of the steps of that process was that during that year after Jason died, one of the things that the Lord did in my heart was he he began to address a poverty spirit that I had had. Because um, I grew up poor and I took some pride in that. And my life goal was to be a poor missionary in Africa. I just wanted to go serve, just wanted to serve and care for people who were hurting and people who were suffering. And while that was beautiful, the Lord had a very different plan for my life than my own plan. And he took me through scenario after scenario where he addressed the poverty spirit I had carried. Things like he taught me that in Samuel, Samuel's sons, they took the tithes from the Israelites and they sinned grossly with them, with the tithes, with the sacrifices that the people brought to the temple. And one of the things the Lord taught me was that he has called us to obedience, right? So I give out of obedience to him and I give where he tells me to give, but it's not my responsibility to make sure that they use it correctly. That's between them and the Lord, that's their relationship with the Lord. But I'm responsible for my own obedience. Because at no point, with Samuel's son sinning with the tithes, at no point did the Lord release the Israelite people from the commandment to tithe. Because it wasn't, that's not after our money. He's after our heart. And he's after that obedience. Will you do what I tell you to do with my money that I've given you to manage?

unknown 8:25

Yeah.

Provision: Miracle Or Abundance

SPEAKER_01 8:25

So that was a has been a major lesson. And even still the Lord speaks to me often on this about stewardship, because we have equated good stewardship with good budgeting, you know, like good money management. But if we are not having conversations with the Lord, if we are not speaking to him, if we're not managing his money inside of relationship, then we're still in idolatry. We're not doing it, budgeting does not equal a good job. Um, relationship and obedience equal a good job. There, that's when you hear well done. So, yeah, you look throughout the Bible and you see Abraham, Job, Solomon, Joseph of Arimathea, and at no point does the Lord rebuke them for their wealth, you know? And then you look, and so they have provision by abundance, but you also see Elijah in the wilderness, you see Jesus, the disciples, and the fish and the coin in the mouth, and all throughout scripture, you also see provision by miracle, manna in the wilderness. So I believe the core, the core understanding is that God is Jehovah Jirah. He is the provider. So whether he's providing by miracle or whether he's providing by abundance, he is providing. And I think the beauty in that is that when we lean into him for provision, we're leaning into relationship. So and I think that's I think it's where we get it a little bit wrong with the prosperity gospel, is um the it's too easy to slip into prosperity as our God rather than leaning into God's character as provider, as Jehovah Jirah, and leaning into relationship.

Trusting God Over Money Anxiety

SPEAKER_00 10:11

What I see is probably the biggest problems in our world today are related to money in some way or another. If if I look at marriage problems, uh just work problems, all kind of stress that people seem to have in their life. It's money, it's also health, but money is a big part of what what people are really causing a lot of problems. So um what do we say to those people, you know, that are really struggling with money?

SPEAKER_01 10:42

There's there's a story, and Jesus references it when he was tempted in the wilderness because Satan comes to him and says, You're hungry. Everywhere you look, all you can see is rocks. You know, Jesus was in the wilderness, he couldn't see provision anywhere. And Satan came to him and said, If you are the son of God, turn these stones into bread. And if you fast forward to Matthew chapter 7, you see where Jesus says, How many of you being evil, if your son asks for bread, would give him a rock? And he relates it to how God's a good father. He's not gonna give you a rock when you ask when you need bread, right? And I think Satan brings this temptation to every single one of us where we can't see the provision. And so he says, Is God really a good God? Is he actually a good father? Is he really gonna provide for you? And in that moment, we are challenged to respond with God's character. And Jesus said, Man doesn't live by bread alone, but by every word that comes out of the mouth of God. And if you back up like three verses, you see the very last thing that the Lord said, that God, Father God said to Jesus before he went into the wilderness was that he got baptized by John, and a voice from heaven said, This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased. So he was able to lean into the word he had received from the Lord, the promise he had received from his father, and to trust in that rather than trusting in what he could see, which was wilderness.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

Yeah.

Stewardship Without Idolatry

SPEAKER_01 12:09

And I think that's the challenge for all of us is what was the last thing God told you? And to lean into that. What was the last thing God told you about provision? Or if you haven't heard from the Lord, ask him and lean in fast if you have to pray, do what you need to do to get to a position where you can hear the voice of the Lord and ask him for a promise. How can I trust you in this? What do you have planned for me?

SPEAKER_00 12:34

Yeah, and what I would say is just you know, like we say on road to redemption, get into the Bible, get to read the scripture every morning. Read the scripture, God will speak to you through the scripture. Get into a church, get into a Christ-centered Bible-believing church, and get into a small group because no matter where you are, if you're in a point where you just you don't have any money and you're stressing for your provision, or if you have abundance of money, your small group, your church is gonna come around you and give you guidance, give you, you know, help open doors and help avenues, you know, and and really be there for you. I g I guess what I'm saying is is that with money in particular, there's a lot is just don't isolate yourself.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

Absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:29

And get into a group and share, make yourself vulnerable.

Marriage, Parenting, And Unity

SPEAKER_01 13:33

Well, we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. So as we do have these experiences with the Lord, sometimes sharing those experiences with other people is how we overcome those seasons where we're wondering where the provision's gonna come from. I think one of the things that the Lord has been stressing to me a lot lately is stewardship and the idea of stewardship and not allowing idolatry to click to creep in. So, you know, we've talked about when you're in lack versus when you're in abundance, but and they but they come with their own temptations because the enemy doesn't care if you have a lot or have a little, he's just after your heart, right? And because the enemy is always attacking, um, whether he when you're in abundance, he's attacking you with mammon, and you have all these temptations, like not allowing the wealth that you're holding to become part of your identity and part of your self-worth. Because that's not where your worth is, right? Your worth is that you are a son of the living God and that I am a daughter of the living God. And that's where our worth and our value and our identity comes from. So, well, this answer is like threefold. It's like identity, stewardship, obedience. Um, something the Lord has been talking to me just so much lately about is the idea of stewardship, the breath he's given me is his breath. How am I going to use his breath? And asking him, Lord, how do you want me to use your breath that you've lent to me to manage? Um, my words. Lord, how do you want me to use your words that you've given me to speak? How do you want me to use your time that you've given me to manage? How do you want me to use your money that you've given me to manage? How do I steward beauty? Right? Beauty is from the Lord. I mean, all of it. Just He's just been speaking to me so much on the subject of every single good thing we've been given is from Him. Stewarding. So asking Him, this belongs to you. This is yours, Lord. So how do you want me to steward this? And understanding that everything is his.

SPEAKER_00 15:28

Your marriage and your family, you you and David, y'all have a beautiful marriage and you have four kids. And how do y'all do that? What what advice do you have? Because I I know you know it's not easy. All of us will say this marriage, it's it's not easy. But I know y'all are doing, you know, a great job, and there's some some things that you're doing that you might share with our listeners to how you're having such a blessed family.

Hope, Scripture, And The Holy Spirit

SPEAKER_01 15:54

Well, I'm extraordinarily blessed with a husband who is incredibly actively involved. He's a leader in our home, he's a spiritual leader, and not a lot of women get to say that. Um I don't and if if you if your husband isn't that leader, again, it's it's your job to be obedient and responsible with what you have. So if you're a woman who doesn't have a husband who's helpful in the way that mine is, you're accountable for your actions. You're accountable to the Lord for how you used what you were given. So again, that leaning into the Lord and asking him questions, waiting on him for answers, asking him how to navigate. We turn to the Lord constantly in our parenting. Okay, God, how do I get how do I answer this question? What do I do with this? Like, how do I manage this? And we have, you know, a number of guiding things. We our children don't have the option of not being friends. We don't allow them to treat each other poorly. We don't allow them to speak to each other disrespectfully or poorly. We if they're having an argument, we kind of intervene and help them sort it out. Sometimes we let we wait, you know, to see if they're to the point yet where they can sort it out without us, but we're we don't let conflict go unaddressed between them. Um they've got to be friends, whether they like it or not.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

Is there anything else?

SPEAKER_01 17:23

There's so much hope in the Lord. Um my the verse that I think ministered to me the most heavily during my season of grief was, but this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope that the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies are new every morning. Great is his faithfulness. And we serve an incredible God, and we have the incredible, extraordinary privilege of walking hand in hand with him through this life and of meeting with him and speaking to him and hearing from him. And I would say if you're not hearing the voice of the Lord today, give everything you have to figure out how to hear his voice. It is the key to all of life.

Closing Remarks

SPEAKER_00 18:13

Invite him in, you know, it's the the Holy Spirit. Jesus said that he is leading the Holy Spirit, and it's much better that he go away and leave the Holy Spirit. So we have the Holy Spirit here, and we can call upon him and he will come and dwell in us and speak to us, you know. So I just encourage everyone to you know invite the Holy Spirit in and let him in to your life.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

Well it's been great, Natasha. Enjoyed it, it's been fun.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

Thanks, thanks, John. Yeah, he's fabulous.