Tough Question 8 - Are You Moving Through Tough Times or Standing Still Through Them?

Dr. Anita continues in the Tough Question Series. Are you using what you are experiencing or hiding from it? Are You Moving Through Tough Times or Standing Still Through Them? Dr. Anita shares her experience with Moving Through Tough Times.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Hi, this is Dr. Anita with another diamond moment. As we know, the diamonds of our lives are produced through time, heat, and pressure. Everything that we encounter in life counts in terms of moving us forward to who we were destined to be. We've been having some tough conversations and looking more deeply into who we innately are, the way that we handle things, the way that we interact with the world around us, the way that we have interpersonal relationships with others. And as we continue moving forward into some tough conversations, I wanted us to briefly look today at how we handle difficult things. Now we've looked previously at passing off the responsibility for what uh belongs in our lives to someone else, to giving them the hard things to do, to relegating ourselves to that which is easy. And we have come to understand or should understand at this point that being able to produce things of value in our lives, those diamonds in our lives, require us to be active in both good times and bad, in both happy times and sad. Recently, I have experienced some very devastating losses in my life of family members and even my beloved pit. Uh, and we never want to downplay loss of any kind, but it's also necessary for us to look at the losses of our lives in terms of the diamonds that we have gained or can gain through experiencing those losses. Sometimes it's really, really hard to move forward, to leave behind that which is behind, and to move forward into the unknown of what we can only anticipate. But if we take with us the experiences of our past, if we include in our journey where we have been, we have an understanding of who we are as well as who we can be. I've shared with you previously about a very close friend that I had that passed away at a very early age. And my son, not realizing how profound his statement was, he said, Mom, if you still needed her, she would still be here. And I want to put that to you, to anyone who's experienced any losses in their lives, that while those losses are extremely difficult and almost unbearable, it's to understand that God, in his infinite wisdom and mercy, God, the creator, source, spirit, in its in its ultimate decision, that those things had fulfilled their purpose, has allowed us to get to a place where, in essence, parts of the training wheels of our lives have fallen away, and that we really do have the ability to move forward, but again, it's not moving forward without the loved one or the experience, it's moving forward with the diamonds that we have gained through those personal relationships and interactions. It is truly remembering who the person truly was. Sometimes we tend to make heroes where maybe we would not have seen them in that light before. But to really be able to take with us all the lessons that we've learned, some of things that we would do, and some of things that we would definitely not want to do. But yet they are the lessons that we've learned through those relationships, and if we process those lessons to bring forth the value, then we have and can be much stronger than we would have been without their input in our lives. We also have to take the time to sit with those difficult lessons, to sit with the choices that we made, the decisions that were made at the time, the way that we handled the obstacle or the challenge, whether it was good or bad, whether we would do it again that way or would wish we hadn't said what we said or did what we did in that moment. But no matter where we land on that line, it is still our life, it is still what happened in our life, and we can still take the value from that interaction. As we process where we are, as we process what actually took place, we do gain valuable experiences to move forward with, and in those experiences we gain strength, we gain the strength that we would not have had without those experiences, without that interaction. And so no matter how we handled it, we can look at it in a way, or we can choose to look at it in a way that we learned, that we grew, that we developed, that we became more of who we were destined to be than we would have without that experience. We've learned to deal with difficulty. We've learned that we can move forward even through that difficulty. We've learned that that which is greater that resides in us, the Spirit of God, Creator, Source, is yet with us, yet leading, guiding, ordering, and directing our steps. And yes, we do have the ability to do more, be more, and accomplish more than we ever have in our lives. It's just necessary to get up and to do that. There's sometimes in loss that we experience depression, and we do understand that depression is a part of grief or can be a part of grief. What we need to make sure of is that we haven't stayed too long in a place that was never designed for us to build a home. As Scripture says, Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, doesn't mean that we're supposed to stay there. It means that we are to continue walking through. There is a lifting up, we do come out on the other side. However difficult that may be at the time, we just have to keep moving. Sometimes that movement isn't to make great strides forward. Sometimes that movement is just to get up and walk around. Sometimes that movement is not to put on eyelashes, but simply not to take off the pajamas. Sometimes that movement may seem very small, but yet it is movement forward. Sometimes we have to get up and we have to put our hand once again to the wheel and begin to move our process forward. Sometimes it's very difficult to do so. So I would encourage you if you're having uh one of those types of days or one of those types of seasons in your life, that you realize that this is just a season, it's not going to last forever. I can make it through, I can get up, I can take one step, I can, I can, I can. I'd like for you to begin also to write down the experience. Sometimes there's things in it that we don't want to remember, we don't want to have to re-experience that hurt. But what writing does is it makes things real, it brings a clarity and a closure that we would not be able to bring into our lives another way. It allows us to get outside of ourselves what has been closed up within ourselves. And as I started out with, this is another one of those tough talks, another one of those things that are difficult to hear, difficult to do, but that bring great value out of the experiences that we have. It gives us what is needed to become a wounded healer, it gives us the skill set and the ability to press through because we've learned that valuable lesson in our lives. That expression that says that you can eat an entire elephant one bite at a time, we've learned to take one bite and move forward. One more bite and move forward. To take one step on that journey of a lifetime and move forward. We won't get to the end all at one time. We won't be able to do it all at one time. But if we can just move forward one step at a time, if we can just consume that project that seems like it's so large it can never be done, if we just do it one thing at a time, we can make it through to where we'd like to be. In closing today, look at all of the difficulties that you've come through and pat yourself on the back, knowing that you have come through. And then for those things that maybe you're still wrestling with, give yourself a break. Understand that yes, we are only human, there's only so much that we can accomplish in the course of a day, and to allow ourselves that grace that says you can do it one step at a time. Be grateful and thankful for those that have entered your life for whatever period, whether that outcome seemed to be positive or even seemed to be negative, because what we find out in those interactions is what we want and what we don't want. We find out our strengths as well as our weaknesses. We find out who we really are when the rubber hits the road. We find out what we have innately accomplished within ourselves that we can attribute to the diamonds of our previous experiences. We find out what we're made of. And once we do that, we have something that we can share with others. I hope that you'll keep coming back, you'll keep tuning in, you'll keep listening, and that you will share with someone else some of the things that we've talked about or even give them the link for this podcast. If you haven't done so, please visit my website at www.dranita mc.com. That's D-R A-N-I-T-A-M-C.com. You'll be able to get more information on what I'm doing, where I will be, and what's taking place. You'll be able to make contact with me through our contact us form if you'd like to talk with me personally. You'll be able to set up a time schedule for in-person mentorship if that's what you'd like to do. Also join me on wisdom. Wisdom is an online community in which I share in real time with others. That you can ask questions that can be answered, that you can get an understanding or a better understanding on where you are and where you want to go. And also join me on fan base. I will be adding more content shortly and being a lot more active on fan base than I am right now. But I thank you for listening. Thank you for coming back.