What Exactly Does This Generational Trauma Stuff Look Like?

What does "Generational Trauma" look like? Dr. Anita shares experiences from her past that might assist you in seeing your own areas of generational trauma.

Transcript

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Okay, Doctor, you told us about the spider, you told us about your parents. But how does all this stuff work? What is generational trauma really? And how far back does it go? Are we gonna always be living like this? Or will things eventually change? Stay with me, I'm so glad you had those questions. The diamonds of our lives are produced through time, heat, and pressure. It is absolutely necessary to evaluate each one of these periods of dynamic heat forged in this trauma in order for you to get a working understanding of who you are and how to turn this thing around and make it work for your good. Jokingly, I told you about my understanding as a four or five-year-old about spiders, and that was really the truth. That really did happen. My brother was a trickster, and he loved playing tricks on me. But what it did to me, he did not anticipate. What happened to me was not what was in his heart, he was just a big brother having fun with his little sister. I, on the other hand, took it completely different. And even with the um the scientific mind of my father, who explained to me about spiders and the fact that they're more afraid of me than I was of them. And I heard all of this stuff, as they used to say it, went in through one ear and came out through the other one, and it did not catch on until I moved away as I grew, as my life experiences grew, and I went went moved to a part of the country that had a lot of spiders, and they were in the house, and I literally had to make up my mind is the spider gonna run me out of my complete home that I own? Am I gonna move away because there's a spider in it, or am I gonna stand up and take my natural role of ownership, deal with the spider, and keep moving forward? I literally had to come to that place in the road where I made a decision: do I keep being afraid of spiders or do I stand up and take control of my situation? That decision, as I've said, happens in each one of our lives. It happens multiple times a day. We are challenged with limitations, but it's what we do with these challenges. These are the facets of the diamond that we are actually able to begin to chisel and to cut in real time. Am I forever afraid of this, or do I finally say, no, I am going to take the reins in my own life? Just because my parents did things one way does not mean that that is the only way for me to go. And once I determine the direction that I want to go in, now I need to brace up, take a deep breath, and keep moving forward. The diamonds in our lives are produced through time, it takes time to grow to a place of maturity so that you can speak to yourself and actually overcome the challenge as opposed to running from the problem. Heat, it was difficult, it wasn't a fun period that I was going through, but it was the heat of that crucible. What do I do? Do I go back? No, there's nowhere to go back to. Do I move forward? Do I go back to my son's house? That is an option, however, that's going to make me twice as far away from my destination. Or do I just remain where I am, raise my vibration, get some ideas outside of this crisis that I'm in, and then act on that. And that's what I did. As I said, thank you to ChatGPT who gave me some great uh leads on what I could do. And once I made that stand that I am not going back, I'm not gonna go twice as far away from my destination out of fear. I'm going to move forward. When I made that decision and did the necessary steps in order to resolve this situation with the car title in 24 hours, it had turned around. Now I'm dealing with the taste. You know, they say you it leaves a bad taste in your mouth, you can go through something. So even though I'm not dealing with that exact situation anymore, now I'm dealing with the residual of that situation. Do I allow it to define my movement forward, or do I use this opportunity in order to re-evaluate where I am, to reset myself within, to get still and quiet and determine which way I want to go? And this is another piece to it that's so vital. My son couldn't make the decision for me. Sometimes those that we love and we're looking at them in a particular way. I wasn't with my son in this way, but I did with my parents when I was younger. They cannot be the deciding factor. It takes you as an individual in your own life to make the decisions to either stay where you are or to move forward. And I made the decision to move forward. As we moved into this new country, as we're moving uh going down the highway, things were very different. The way that the um uh laws, the driving laws, were very different from where I came from. So now, not only am I entering into a phase of my life where I have no prerequisites, nothing that would tell me what I'm going to experience. Now I'm doing it, going down roads that I've never seen in directions that I don't know where they're going to end up, having to trust on Google, trust in Google Maps. And we ended up utilizing another uh directional GPS uh system, and it was taking us to these very far out-of-the-way places, and it's like I know that this is not, I know that we should be on a different kind of highway. So now I'm not only dealing with the insecurities of uh that I was battling internally, but also dealing with my son who's with me, who is an adult and doing everything that he can to keep me and us safe, but realizing there's something wrong with this navigation system because I don't think we should be seeing all these cows and all of this stuff. My when when other people described their journey, they didn't talk about this. And I knew that we were on an alternate highway, but it was not something that at that point the person who was under the wheel of the car and driving, my son, didn't want to deviate. He felt that this was the way. So I had to listen, be still and quiet as much as I could, which was really getting me as a parent. Sometimes you really want to speak up. But eventually we did get there. We did arrive at our destination. And once we arrived at the destination, now even a different level of the adventure starts. And it really was necessary for me to once again go back and look at my life and see where I had come across challenges in the past. Was I experiencing that again? What do I need to do in order to turn this situation into a positive situation and continue moving towards my goal? These are the decisions that we have to make on a daily basis. Do you allow the past to stop you? Or do you determine within yourself that you're gonna have a new beginning, you're gonna start out again, and you will accomplish whatever it is that you have put your heart to accomplishing. And that's where I found myself. When I got still and quiet, again, becoming is a process. I had to go back and look at the generational trauma of my family. I explained some of the things that my parents experienced in their lives that caused them to make the decisions that they made as our parents. But what I did not discuss was the imprint that their parents' lives had made on them. Again, if you are a particular ethnicity in the United States, your history is steeped in trauma. And when we are living in a time where a group of people have determined that your history is a problem for them, and they begin to move to dismantle and erase your history, you realize, number one, where you are in the world, that it is absolutely possible for someone to take another group of people's lived experience, cancel it, and then make it illegal to talk about, which is what has happened in some of the states in the United States, that the history of African American people have been uh made illegal by another group of people to even be taught in the school system. So the challenges that you go through when your parents, parents, parents have been sold, have been stolen is an entirely different group of challenges and traumas that you experience generations later. You don't even know that you're experiencing that. You don't even know where this anxiety is coming from that you're having. That is one of the things that I learned while I was in that hotel on the border, that some of the anxiety that I'm dealing with right now is not stemming from this situation because, again, I do have a choice. And yeah, I can go back to my son's and stay there until the challenges with this card title get worked out. Yes, I could go back, but in my life's experience, I've also seen where deviating from your course sometimes negates the course. I watched my mom as she grew older, she had a plan for her life, but something came up and she deviated from that plan and she was never able to get back on course. She lived the rest of her life going in a direction that was not the direction she wanted to go in. So I understood from my past how important and what a pivotal point this was. Yeah, I could go a different direction, but would I ever get back on that original course? And if I believed that my destiny was in a particular direction, do I persevere, stand strong, keep hope alive, and keep moving forward? Or do I seek a temporary shelter that's going to, if I if I do determine to move forward on this course, I'm still gonna have to come back. I'm still gonna get to this same border again. It may be delayed for months or years, but I'll still be back at this same place again. So the decision that I made, I had to make amidst the generational trauma of my people and their past. I brought up last time about breeding animals and how you can breed a dog for a specific thing. That breeding, that ability to take that trait is now in the genes, the genetic makeup of that animal. You can change its colors by introducing a new uh a new color uh uh scheme within those animals. You see it all the time with the dog shows and things like that, where the dog has been bred to be an excellent dog in in water or for hunting or for whatever it is that that dog is being bred for. But that is in their genetic makeup now, and it didn't happen with the dog that you're looking at on the screen, it happened generations and generations and generations back that it would unfold to become the dog that you're watching now, or maybe even the dog that's sitting by your feet. That's not how they started out. So when we understand that the diamonds of our lives are produced through time, it takes time to get to the place that you are to understand why you've been positioned here, to make a determining uh uh decision on do I go forward, do I remain here, do I allow this to stop me, or do I brace up and just press forward? Can I do this? Do I keep hope alive? Do I stop? All of these things are happening in real time, but they are being based in a generational trauma that you may not have even learned about. I I've spoken with you before and I said I had a wonderful life in terms of being able to take advantage of things that maybe some others didn't get an opportunity to. And one of those things that occurred, uh, my son's father, my first husband, was in uh construction, and he was able to utilize an unusual piece of heavy equipment that he had been trained on that others hadn't. And way back years and years and years ago, they were doing uh a highway across another country, and he was offered the position. It was only gonna be two people that were going. There was gonna be two people out of all the people in the United States who had this skill set to use this piece of equipment that was needed in this other country. And we were young, and he decided he would take it. It was gonna be all expenses put paid, meaning your housing, your food, your transportation, plus a full paycheck of uh like more than you would have gotten with all expenses paid. And so we decided we were gonna go very young. My son wasn't even born yet, and um my family had such a unique response, and it was terrifying to them, and I don't even think they understood why they were so frightened of the concept, the thought that I would be leaving the country, going somewhere with my husband for his job, what it was going to bring in terms of a prosperous, prosperous future for us, their ideas were all caught up in me not ever coming back. Where did that come from? It came generations back that said if someone takes you across the ocean, you'll never come back. And they were operating from that fake place of fear generations later, generations later, and as a result, we ended up not going. We ended up not going, and so where we could have been in life or how our lives may have progressed beyond that point, I'll never know. Because the fear of generations, generations before me stopped that progressive movement forward. Generational trauma is just that. It is fear that stems from a group of people that you've probably never met. It stems from a place of not dealing with the shadows and that trauma, but of allowing it to actually take on a life of its own, and in so doing, affecting a generation that never had any conscious awareness of this trauma or how it got started, but what it does is impacts the current generation. When we look at what's taking place around the world, the wars, the uh the inhumanity, these things started somewhere. And if we do not look and at and evaluate the shadows, it's going to continue to reverberate throughout our history. It's very necessary to look at the past so that you do not repeat those same mistakes. Shadow work is realizing that I'm fearful beyond what this moment actually should evoke. I'm fearful from a whole nother place. What is this? Where did it come from? Allow yourself to get still and quiet and ask the questions. Learn in terms of meditation what you're picking up and what you're seeing. Feel within your body in those chakra systems of where this is, where do I feel tight, where what is going on within me? Why am I having this reaction to this situation? Because that will get you to the point of being able to recognize the trauma. Now, you're not trying to get a PhD in the trauma, but what you do need to do is to recognize it. You need to recognize it in today's terms, you need to recognize it in the with the language that you have at this point, and then you can look at it as though you are observing it, not to get back in the emotion of it, not to wrap it around yourself, but to look at it as you are observing it and allow your current development to inform your memory. Allow your current life's development to inform your memory, looking at where you were to determine what took place, where it came from, and then you're at a place to make a decision on where you want to go. I hope that this has benefited you. If you haven't done so, please visit my website at www.d-r-an-i-t-a-m-c, dranita mc dot com. Visit me on noonvibe, join me there. Join me on fanbase and keep coming back. This is a space where we're going to normalize live spiritual experience without dogma, fear, or control. I'm honoring your experiences because I understand where you are is not where you'll always be. 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