After Thoughts: I’m A Hyporcrite, So Are You, So What?

What if loyalty is just self-interest wearing nicer clothes? We open with a vulnerable take on conflict aversion and quickly dive into the messy heart of the “bro code,” asking when solidarity turns into enabling. If real friendship means having someone’s back, does it also mean drawing hard lines when comfort and conscience clash? We push past buzzwords to redefine toxic masculinity as the refusal to set standards or accept risk, and we make a case for accountability that actually changes behavior.

From there, we wade into culture wars with a nuanced read on strip clubs, agency, and free speech. Magic City isn’t one thing; it’s food, music, community, and yes, sexuality—places where vulnerability and performance meet. We call for clarity: fight real abuse like trafficking, respect adult agency, and hold opinions with humility when you don’t know the culture you’re critiquing. Mind your business doesn’t mean mute your values—it means carry them with context.

Faith and politics take center stage as we unpack a Bible study on the whitewashing of Christianity and the way power seeps into pulpits. We argue for reading scripture ourselves, weighing leaders by character over clout, and bringing civic energy to the local level where action counts. When money distorts national debates, shared spiritual values—across traditions—can still ground us in honesty, compassion, and restraint.

The conversation lands on war, memory, and cost. Personal ties to Bahrain turn geopolitics into lived streets and faces, asking who truly benefits from conflict and who pays. Across every topic—brotherhood, culture, church, and country—the same challenge returns: define your code, name your bias, and love people enough to tell the truth when it stings. If loyalty never costs you, it’s not loyalty—it’s convenience. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs the nudge, and leave a review with your take: where should the line be drawn?

Transcript

Setting The Stage And Intent

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Yeah, I've got to figure out something with these with this mic because the way it got my collar look uh working, I I'm not a huge fan of it. Uh not. But anyways, uh we're back here with afterthoughts, maybe AC's afterthoughts, you know, still still workshopping what the branding's gonna look like. And it'll be available on a different feed at some point as I finalize what it looks like. Uh, but you know, got some thoughts here. And if you know me, I I process things slowly sometimes and like to reflect on on information and and come back and talk about it. So we're here for my afterthoughts. Um I'm gonna lead this off with I'm not a tough guy. I'm not, I promise you, I'm not. Uh, and don't ever try to carry myself as a tough guy, to be honest. Um, and I only say that because I've had conversations with some people and heard some things, and people saying, I think I'm tough. No, I don't. I'm gonna call the law. Honestly, I'm actually non-confrontational. Uh, it's probably one of my uh Achilles heels, is that I'm non-confrontational. I I do what I can to uh avoid conflict, uh deflect uh conflict and keep conflict uh down. And and with that, sometimes things explode, you know, because you just can't keep, you can't just try to affect the natural order of things, which is something that I do uh from time to time. Uh, you know, some might say I'm a control freak. Not controlling, but a control freak. Uh, but I say all of that to say, like, I promise you I'm not, I'm I don't want smoke. I I don't I don't like conflict at all. Um, but I can be confrontational. Oh god, yeah. Uh, but that's the hypocrite in me. I'm a hypocrite, you're a hypocrite, so what, right? Or what? I said, I'm a hypocrite, so are you, so what? Yeah, yeah, that's what we said. But really, we're all hypocrites, and I I think it's important for us to be open about our hypocrisy. Try to tell people our liens, our biases, and ultimately what's most important to us so that we can better navigate the hypocrisy. Because everybody says they're a loyal person, everybody wants to be loyal, loyal to the soul, but at the end of the day, we're all only loyal to ourselves. Now, along the way, you're gonna be loyal to other things, hopefully. But truly, at our core, we're loyal to ourselves, and we're loyal to ourselves, we're loyal to others and other things so long that it supports our own self-loyalty, a business relationship, a job, a marriage, a friendship, love for an artist, to a restaurant, a night spot, you're only loyal, you're only as loyal as it is giving to you. So, like, say for instance, a couple's been married 50 years. Oh man, he's such a loyal guy. Well, yeah, because being loyal serves his interest, still loyal to himself. It just happens that y'all have enough shared interests that the loyalty remains. And I say a lot of this to say oftentimes in life when things happen, we process it from our point of view. We only look at our point of view, but we never take the time to look at someone else's point of view, you get caught up on right, wrong. Instead, you should just look at something from a person's point of view, and then if you look at it from their point of view, and now you can understand where they're coming from, it can better help you come to a commonplace or just realize hey, I get it, I get why you feel this way. I just need you to get why I feel this way. It's not right or wrong. Things work when they serve, when they're both serving, but when they're not serving, both people are doing the same thing. Doing what serves them. We're all doing what serves us, we're all selfish, even when we're selfless, it's because it serves us. Some are more selfish than others, but we're all just as self-serving. And so that takes me to like being loyal to a code. And I already say the the the code we're most loyal to is ourselves, but think about like loyal to a bro code, loyal to a black code, loyal to a white code, loyal to a woman code, loyal to whatever code it is, right? But I think about the bro code, right? Because that is probably besides myself, obviously, the code I'm most loyal to, right? And then I think about I don't want to do this. Let's just stay here on the bro code, right? At what point does the bro code become no code? And I'm a hypocrite, right? But really, like at what point does the bro code become no code when you're thinking about the bro code? You loyal to your bros, right? I got my brothers back. I'm on my man's side. I'm gonna rock with my guy and and in public always. In private, things are gonna be handled appropriately, but publicly, and that's honorable. And you and and most of us do it, I hope. People I keep around me, we do it. Countless times we do it. But what happens when things the bro code conflicts with your code? Typically we hold it down, we don't say anything. And then you ask yourself okay, now I'm enabling behavior that I don't agree with. I'm enabling this toxic behavior, and it's like, is that even really being loyal to the bro code? Because if being loyal to the bro code is having your brother's back, then why would you allow your brother to do something that you don't support? So you're really being loyal to that person, or you're just avoiding conflict, being loyal to yourself. I mean, because we think about it, like you think about the criminal code, everybody hates snitching until they face in time. Yeah, everybody hates a snitch until you become one. Because again, we're loyal to ourselves, we're not loyal, like we're loyal to things as long as it serves us, right? And some people hold it down because guess what? Again, it's self-serving. They believe being loyal to their code is being loyal to themselves, and and and and maybe it is. But getting back to loyalty to the bro code, and like when does the bro code become no code? I realize that is what toxic masculinity is. It's not the actual, it's not the events that mainstream will call toxic. Because how toxic are you if you explain your toxicity and you allow people to take a chance, right? Sometimes we sign waivers to take risks. Yeah, it's risky, but you signed up for it. You know, if you bungee jump, you skydive, you know that it's risky. But you sign off on it. If you ride a motorcycle, you know that it's risky, so you pay higher insurance, right? But it's your accepted level of risk. Where I think the bro code has become toxic masculinity because it doesn't allow for an accepted risk. You understand what I'm saying? Like, because if you're always going to be loyal to what someone's short-term interests are and expect them to do the same for you, the goal post keeps moving. And if the goal co post keeps moving, everything be becomes okay and acceptable. And if this is what you're most loyal to, when the other things you're loyal to conflict with that, you're gonna fall back on that because that's your comfort. And it's also the echo chamber where you're hearing what you need or what you want to hear, but is that actually what you need? And I remember another wife one time told one of my friends, y'all don't hold each other accountable. And I'm like, Yes, we do. You don't know what we talk about privately, and what people say, but then you ask yourself, is the private conversation true accountability? Does anything change? Okay, somebody brought something to your attention that was wrong, that may validate what somebody else said, or they say it's not wrong, or hey, you know what you're doing, like you're a grown-ass man. I say that all the time. I'm not gonna tell a grown-ass man what to do, because but why not? These same grown men come to you for advice when they want it. Why wouldn't you offer it when you think they need it, whether they want it or not? Because that's what you would do for somebody that you're loyal to. You would try to help them when they don't want to help themselves. That's what makes loyalty so heartwarming and so impactful. Is because you're looking out for somebody when it may not necessarily best serve your immediate interest. So looking back, man, I did the toxic masculinity thing, making fun of culture and society for calling everything the men are doing toxic. And although I still disagree with that and with what they were attacking, because I do think they were attacking fundamental elements of humanhood and manhood, I will say there should be a true attack on what is toxic in masculine culture, and re-examining the bro code, right, and what that means, and how we move around through that so that we are truly good brothers to our brothers and help them be the best versions of themselves, whatever that looks like. But shit, while we're here on toxic masculinity, I got some thoughts on Luke Cornet, too, man. And pretty much is shut up and mind your business. This is America, and like the beauty of America is people can do things. Well, that's at least what we think or what we hope or what it's been sold to us. But hey, the objectification of women isn't something to be celebrated, but it's done. I mean, the objective, I mean, prostitution's the oldest profession, so like it's innately human. Hold on, let me just say what's going on. So Luke Cornette uh made a statement about uh the Hawks having Magic City night uh on March 16th, upcoming. And if you don't know that that strip club culture, Magic City are staples of Atlanta. And it's not just about the strippers, the dancing and the good time, but it's it's just really it's just really part of the culture, you know. It's part of hip hop culture, it's where business is done, it's good eating, it's a good escape from reality. And um I am someone who uh enjoys going to the strip club. Uh, I've told many stories when I was in San Diego how like the strip club got me through. You know, a man was going through it, you go in there, drink you look something, look at something, get to talking, build relationships, network, build relationships. It's it's it's just a great place where it's something about it, and I think maybe it's the aspect of the women uh being naked or damn near naked and dancing that it creates a very vulnerable space, and you throw in the alcohol, right? Because just imagine dancing in public. That takes vulnerability. Being naked takes vulnerability, doing it in public now. Dancing naked for people's entertainment and money, yes, yes, I know I'm a man who enjoys it lustfully. I do, I'm being honest, but that takes a certain level of vulnerability, and maybe the conversations lead to them getting more money, right? But it takes vulnerability to create vulnerability, and maybe some of those women are hurt and broken. But here's a place where these broken souls can be healed for some time. I'm not saying that's every situation, but that is part of it. But if you haven't lived and you haven't done it for whatever your reasons are, be careful when you speak about it. But also, man, they just celebrating the restaurant in the wings, they ain't even talking about the strippers. So, what are you really doing? And you play for the Spurs, and y'all aren't even playing the Hawks that day. What do you care? Again, you're free to voice your opinion because this is America where uh some of us have free speech. Uh so yeah, get it off. Pause. Oh, yeah, I'm dumb pause and stuff. Like that's worse than this stuff Luke Cornette's mad about. But let's just be real. Like, mind your business, voice your opinion. Every woman in the strip club is not there against her own will. Now, I do have an issue with human trafficking, and I think that there should be more, you know, real background checks done to make sure that these women are here on their own and and so forth. But there's a criminal underworld and we know that exists. So I'm not gonna be naive to it. But no, let's yeah, I'm against human trafficking. And maybe, you know, if you're against the objectification of women, Mr. Cornett, use your platform to talk about the Epstein files. Uh I read today that some 65,000 pages were allegedly deleted. That's what I read. I don't know because I didn't haven't read them and wasn't there to verify, but that's what I read today. But, you know, some things are cultural, and we need to understand culture and allow other cultures to be exactly what that is. We don't need to live in some homogenized world. I remember the episode of Fairly Odd Paris where Timmy Turner wished everybody would look the same. And very quickly you couldn't tell who was who and what is what because everything was the same. Don't allow them to push us there. But speaking of Luke Cornett and his views, that you know, they're kind of in line with this. Uh, it was in Bible study this week. And uh reading this book, and I haven't been in a Bible study in months, I'm not gonna lie to you, because typically uh we record the village vets on Tuesday, and that's when my Bible study is, but you know, we're not recording the village vets on Tuesdays anymore, or Wednesdays, or Thursdays. We're not recording the village vets anymore. That's that's not a thing for me. So um, anyway, so I I pull up and I was interested in participating in the classes because I was interested in the topic, and we're we're reading this book, The Whitewashing of Christianity, and I'm like, ooh, yeah, this is gonna be interesting. You know, you got the Christian Zionists, you have your uh evangelicals. So, okay, yeah, let's let's let's hear this, and as we're going through it, I realize they're even speaking about the Trump movement, and I'm like, oh, what is this? And my initial question is if heaven is the goal, why is this book even relevant? But we have black people leaving the church, and we have black people leaving the church because the loud evangelical message, and they're like, How are we worshiping the same God? So I go, oh, okay. From that perspective, this absolutely makes sense because this is something to go after the mainstream narrative to help people understand that hey, there are false prophets out here, and look at the word, you know what I mean? Like actually get into the word, and if you get into the word, you'll understand that these people aren't necessarily speaking from the word and and rightly dividing the words of truth, you know. That's why it's important to read the word for yourself, not just listen to the leader in the pulpit, because the pastor, the leader, the minister, whatever you you call them, that maybe have been ordained uh by man, but that doesn't mean they were ordained by God. And unfortunately, we don't always know who's truly ordained by God instead of by man because there's so many distractions, so many distractions that are earthly and secular that would lead one to believe that uh a minister is ordained by God because this person has so many earthly possessions and has the things that our human soul desires. So you think that that person is connected to God, but then if you get into the word and you understand what who Jesus was, especially, you know, Christian religion, uh, and and how Jesus carried himself, uh it's a little bit different than those, a lot of those uh who are speaking. Teaching from his word. And I think some do it intentionally, others do it unintentionally. It's part of the lifestyle. But I don't think every pastor who has a lot of money in church gives them a lot of money and raises a lot of money is a crook or not or not ordained by God. But I just say be careful. Don't allow that to be the thing that tells you a minister or a religious leader is ordained by their higher power. But yeah, Trump is like leaked in the church, man, and that's scary. It's absolutely scary because, for one, you know, you look at you look at media, you look at publishing, you look at big business, you look at banking, you look at international affairs, you look, you look at all of this stuff, and you find out how how interconnected this stuff is, and you're like, is this a scare tactic? Right? Is this something to keep people in line? Or is this actually an issue so prevalent and the church being one of the last few meeting places for black people that we need to get this message out here because we can't get it out anywhere else to properly arm our people? I don't know, but it it scares me, right? Because it it's remember, Jesus got mad about all the business and stuff going on in the temple. You know, he wasn't rocking with that. So, like from a secular community activist point of view, I totally understand it. But as somebody on a Christian, religious, spiritual getting closer to God and truly getting closer to God, um, however that looks, it runs in conflict. And not to mention I just have ideological opposition to it. Um, but it's just it's just, I don't know, man. I I don't want my president in church, you know? I don't like I want my president in the White House doing whatever the president does, you know, and even as a political scientist, as somebody who keeps up with politics, tries to engage from here to there, as I study more and more, if we're gonna put politics in church, we should probably talk local. Because that's what we can truly affect. Because national politics, international politics is expensive by design, but it's expensive. That's why you can have so many Americans opposing the war, opposing the war in Gaza, supporting these actions in Iran, and they still happen because our voices don't drown out the money. And the money, see, everybody has a price. We all can be bought, whether it's directly or indirectly, whether it's bought to actually do something or whether it's bought to be comfortable where we are, right? We all can be. But I I have a price too. We're all hypocrites. But when you're in a country that, you know, you believe that voting is important and your voice matters, but then you see that the things you vote for don't happen because of money interest, that should tell you why that your vote doesn't matter. Right, and then when you can take a book like the Bible, and yes, you can use that book to manipulate people into stuff that's been done for centuries, but then if you also just take it from a educational point of view, the values that it teaches, right? You can compare with any other world religion, right? You take these values that these that our mainstream religions teach, they are pretty much the same values. So if we're actually applying the values to get closer to God, and that's what's first, not our race, not our our our our our economic status, not our political power, uh uh, not anything else, right? Don't you think we would naturally live in a more harmonious way to where we could trust people more, you know, because naturally we're not that way, we're what we are and how we're living. But we have all of these people, and again, I'm these people, I'm a hypocrite, you're it. So are you, so what, right? But if we have all of these people somewhat striving towards the same thing, and that's God, not other stuff, even our differences in how we get towards God or what we call God or who has the right God, doesn't really matter. Because even if you're trying to evangelize the people, you lead them to water, and then you allow them to drink or not. But if they don't drink, you don't get mad at them, you don't treat them any differently. Love your neighbor as yourself, you know, or is it because that person who's different from you isn't your neighbor? I'm just saying. So even this the hypocrisy in religion, and I don't think a lot of it's intentional, I don't think a lot of it's malicious. I I honestly don't think most people act maliciously, I just think they act in their own self-interest, or what they think is in their self-interest. But thinking of people acting in their self-interest, we've got uh a war going on in Iran or warlike activities, uh, however you want to call it. Um I'll catch up on what Congress did later today because I know the House had a vote today. I didn't check it uh before recording. Man, no more foreign wars. America doesn't want war. I know it makes a lot of money. There's a lot of money in war, Jesus Christ. There's so much money in war, and the reasons seem pretty obvious to me. Um still wrestling with some different theories. They're kind of conspiracy type stuff, though. So I'm not gonna get into it. Uh, but I'll just say this this one hurts the most. This one touches me. Uh, and I talked about it with uh Parlay Pete last night, but seeing um NASA headquarters hit in Bahrain, being someone who was stationed there, hearing about the Crown Plaza, being hit, a place that I took my parents, uh, then found out one of the high rises, got a high rise that got hit today. A couple of my friends lived there. I used to go there. Uh I lived in a high rise owned by the same company, just a couple of blocks away, man. And it's just, man, warhood. Yeah, what is it good for? Nothing. But making money for the elites. And those of us rank and file, get hyped up on the propaganda. And yes, we're fighting for the interest of Americans. American interests, excuse me, we're fighting for American interest, but not necessarily the interest of Americans. And a lot of times these benefits they only trickle down to a few. And the idea of hope of being able to climb up and be one of those select few is what fueled this instead of saying, hey, we're just as much American as you are. So our opinion matters. If we're going to sign up to fight this war, then we should receive the same benefits, if not more, than those of you who are expected to benefit from the war. And I bet if you turned, if you flipped it that way, people would have less interest in going to war. Because what is it good for? Absolutely nothing but money.