Mind Mastery: Mompreneur Strategies to Avoid Burnout and Achieve Success

Get ready to rewire your brain for ultimate success and well-being.

Here's what we'll cover in this episode:

• The fascinating science behind goal setting and performance and how different parts of your brain play vital roles in the process. 
• An intriguing relationship between the prefrontal cortex, dopamine system, and your aspirations. 
• The profound significance of visualization and how your emotional responses can act as a catalyst in achieving your goals. 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Are you, in the new year, new me energy, right now that we're in December? Well, great, because we want to make sure that you keep that momentum throughout the new year so that you guarantee your success when it comes to achieving your goals. Now, if you're thinking, but, vanessa, in the past I get excited and by the middle of the year I'm just not on the same pace to meet my goals, well then, this is the episode for you, because I'm going to explain what is happening in your brain and in your body so that way, when you are taking action in the new year towards your goals, you can keep that momentum easily and you can navigate any kind of obstacle that may come up. So keep listening. Hey, you, your next level of expansion is here and you're not going to accomplish it through hustle and grind. Oh, no, not you. You allow ease and flow to come through you so that you can manifest the business of your dreams.

Speaker 1: 1:06

Welcome to the Align Business Woman podcast, where you get to be in flow and allow your strategic CEO to meet your inner goddess. This is the podcast for female entrepreneurs who want to strengthen their intuition muscle while applying simple and practical business growth strategies to accelerate. We'll combine energetics and strategy, along with human design and your gene keys, to optimize your business performance and results. Welcome back, my friend, to another episode of the Aligned Business Woman podcast. Vanessa here. I am so freaking lit up right now because next week I'm going to officially reveal all of the details of my upcoming event in January and my partnership with a. Well, I'll just go ahead and share that next week, but I'm so lit up because I know it's just going to be freaking amazing and I'm looking forward to the new year. I don't know if you subscribe to the app Teledipity, but, oh my gosh. So next year for me is going to be a year eight, if you're into numerology, and so I'm just really excited about the energy that that's going to bring, and it's interesting because I was already experiencing that, anticipating all of that. So it's just really nice to have that confirmation of like this is what the year should be looking like. I'm just putting all my ducks in a row to make sure that that happens.

Speaker 1: 2:47

All right, so you might be also thinking about the new year, your goals for your business and for your life and how you want things to pan out. Last week, we went through the goal setting process that I like to do inside the CEO or sorry, the profitable CEO accelerator, with the CEO power planning. And so today's episode I want to share what happens in your body and in your mind when you're setting goals and why sometimes the excitement of our goals is just as far as things get like the excitement of like setting the goal, and why we end up experiencing burnout, and what to do instead, so that this new year is going to be the year where you're, like I know in my heart, body, mind and soul that I'm going to achieve my goals because I know what to expect and I know how to navigate my logical mind and my emotions and I know how to get them to work together. So let's dive into this episode on how to predict or actually really navigate burnout when it comes to your goals. When I started to map out the notes for this episode, I originally was going to go over the logical levels of change and why sometimes we cannot reach our goals, no matter all the things that we do externally. And while I was in the process of just mapping that out, I thought about you know, but let's talk about the burnout, because the burnout is what gets us from not achieving our goals, and burnout comes in so many different ways. You know there's the burnout of the physical burnout, the mental burnout, the emotional burnout. So one of the things that I did I was like you know who the expert is in goal setting. As much as I would like to say I'm the expert. I really fancy Dr Andrew Huberman of the Huberman lab. He is a neuroscientist from Stanford University. I'm like a little high school girl crushing on him because he really brings the part, the nerdy part, out of me when he explains how our brain works and about neuroplasticity, performance, goal setting, all the things. So I know that you're going to enjoy this as well, because I'm gonna be putting my Spin on things and how it applies to women entrepreneurs.

Speaker 1: 5:26

To set the stage and give you a visual, let's start with a story. Imagine it's early morning, the house is still quiet and you're sitting at your kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee. This is your golden hour, the little pocket of calm before the day's chaos unfolds. You pull out a notebook and start jotting down your goals for the month. As you write, something interesting happens in your brain, the prefrontal Cortex part of the brain that's like the wise Organizing mom friend who keeps everyone on track, kicks into high gear. It's helping you plan, make decisions and see the bigger picture of what you're aiming for.

Speaker 1: 6:16

Now, as you outline a new marketing strategy for your business that aligns with these goals, you begin to feel a spark of excitement. That's dopamine, your brains built-in reward system giving you a little high five. It's like the feeling you get when you sneak a chocolate chip cookie before the kids notice. Or maybe you see your crush. Just like that. That feel good hit right when you accomplish something. The dopamine release is your brain's way of saying, yes, this is good, keep going. But here's the thing about dopamine it's all about the thrill of the chase. So, like when you see your crush, you know Maybe that person or it may be in the past and you take it back to a time when in the past where you liked someone and just the just seeing them, the mirror, thought of them, gave you a dopamine hit because you didn't have that yet. But that excitement is built up in your body, right, it loves the excitement for setting the goal more than actually reaching it. That dopamine hit does. That's why sometimes, after the initial rush of setting a goal, sticking to the daily grind of achieving it, can feel less exciting. That's why the whole new year new mean. You see all the people at the gym at the beginning of the year and then Come at the end of the month or maybe March. They start to fall out because they lost that excitement, that dopamine hit that occurred at the beginning of setting that goal.

Speaker 1: 7:51

Now, as you map out your plan, you're also training your brain to form new habits. Think of it like creating a new family routine. That's chaotic at first but then it starts to flow. The more you execute right, the more you work out the kinks. This is the basil ganglia at work, turning repeated actions into smooth, automatic processes, just like when you somehow manage to make breakfast while also packing lunches and Finding lost shoes. It's like you go in from what at first you're incompetent and not confident about Into the program where it becomes unconscious and you're competent about it. So there's like that Conscious incompetency. You know there's like that different levels.

Speaker 1: 8:44

So the goal setting isn't always a walk in the park. So imagine your toddler throws a tantrum right in the middle of your planning session. So we're back at the breakfast table when you have your coffee and all of these things are happening and then your toddler comes in and throws a fit. That's your amygdala, the part of your brain that handles emotions, especially during a stressful time. It's like when you're trying to calm down your child who's upset, while maintaining your cool. It's like it there's a Conflict there, right? Sometimes just thinking about the challenges of reaching your goals can trigger this stress response.

Speaker 1: 9:23

Your brain has another part, the anterior Sigulate cortex, and I know I'm probably be butchering some of these words. English is my second language, so that's like your inner business advisor. It helps you weigh the pros and cons. I it is alerting you so that you can be thinking about your business plan and what needs to be tweaked. It's kind of like oh, did you check this? But did you check that? Much like how you adjust your strategy when your kid refuses to eat anything but chicken nuggets. Right, you know how sometimes we do that compromising thing or like what about this? Or you know, oh, look at this. So that's where it comes in and it wants to just rationalize things Like what is a pro and what is a con. What should we be aware of Now, remembering all the details of your plan in past experiences that can guide your decisions, that right there is your hippocampus.

Speaker 1: 10:23

So it is a mental scrapbook holding onto all the important memories and lessons, just like how you remember which brand of cookies is a hit with the kids right, some of the things that you just remember so that in the future it's there to remind you and serve you. And then there's a visualization process that comes in. Usually when we're goal setting right, we think about the goals and then we think about how we're going to feel about those goals, and that's why the dopamine hit occurs when you close your eyes and picture your successful business. It's like daydreaming about a peaceful family vacation, or just like the victory of saying I set this goal and I accomplished it. This mental imagery engages the occipital lobe, providing a mental escape and motivation, much like looking at pictures of white sandy beaches on a tough day. You remember I talk about this almost every episode that the subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between what is real, imagined or remembered. So when you're daydreaming and you're thinking about your goals and your future pacing, this is essentially what is activated to get you into that mental space.

Speaker 1: 11:36

Now, lastly, the Olympic system. That's just where your emotional response to your goals live. The joy you feel when you think about achieving your goals is as heartwarming as watching your child score goal right, or just whatever it is that lights you up, and so sometimes a fear of failure can creep in, whether this is like during the goal setting time or the time where you're taking action, and that causes like a stressful mode. Again, your mind doesn't know what is, or your subconscious mind doesn't know what the difference is between what's real, imagined or remembered. So this can kick in that stress when we are in a fear of feeling or fear or in a lack of mindset that can trigger things in our body so that we have stress and we put stress on the frontal lobe. It's interesting how our mind and our bodies can just go from very quickly, like all these things that are happening, that we have this inner talk that might have some self doubt, and then there's that excitement. But there's a lot going on under the surface. So now let's break it down even more and talk about how the burnout occurs and how you can navigate that instead. So when you are setting these goals again you are being able to keep up with that momentum.

Speaker 1: 13:05

In last week's episode I shared about the prefrontal cortex and how it is the crucial area of our brains for executive functioning, such as planning, decision-making and problem-solving. Right, because that's essentially what goal-setting is. We set that goal and then we think about all the ways to achieve that goal. So when this becomes active in our brain, when you're sitting down at that coffee table or wherever you're at, it helps you organize your thoughts and anticipate outcomes and make reasoned decisions. Now this is when the next part happens is that then you have a dopamine release that gets you motivated, that makes you feel invincible, like heck, yeah, I'm gonna reach this goal, that you get so sure and certain of yourself, and that might last for a second, that might last for a few minutes, it's just. Everyone varies depending on their belief systems. This is why I want to be able to have a follow-up episode to this, because I want to talk about the logical levels of change. You know about the identity, about the belief systems. So your dopamine is released right. Like we mentioned before, the thing about this process is that the dopamine is released at the very beginning.

Speaker 1: 14:29

Now, as women entrepreneurs, we have a continuous demand for high performance, which can lead to the depletion of dopamine. So when we have a depletion of dopamine or when we're not engaging in that process that releases that dopamine, then we have a decreased motivation and increased stress. And then, being women entrepreneurs that you know are probably moms and wives and wear other hats what ends up happening is that we have this inner dialogue that perpetuates or reinforces that that stressful state, so we start to have self-doubt, uncertainty, and that demotivates us. When we are the business owner that doesn't have a team maybe we're a solopaneur, or maybe we actually have a team and we're taking on the responsibility of coordinating and navigating and, just, you know, working with other people and directing other people that requires that we are, you know, in a clear mind and our energies clean and our emotions are clean so that we can perform at a higher level right.

Speaker 1: 15:45

So, over time, although we set these goals with this, you know, intention and this vision and maybe some clarity, and we had that dopamine hit where we felt invincible and we were very you know, just confident that we're going to be able to reach these things, as life continues, after that goal-setting session, other things occur, which again causes stress, and we feel that guilt and the shame that we have to continue that momentum of performance to make sure that we reach our goals. Like there's like, oh no, we can't slow down now. There's no going back now. There's not really any room for tweaking, feedback, improvement. It's just kind of like a go-go-go-go and so that can get. Really that can wear you out right.

Speaker 1: 16:35

One of the things that deters us is that we actually are misaligned with our goals. So there's a misalignment with intrinsic motivation when goals are more about the external validation or expectations rather than the intrinsic motivation, so that leads to dissatisfaction. We set the goal and we think about oh, I want this, you know, $10,000 a month, every single month, because I'm going to be able to have this lifestyle. I absolutely think that is helpful and I guess it's excited. But we also need to be thinking more about how that is going to align with the life we want to be able to have, both energetically, with our joy or happiness and all the things. That is why the dopamine hit that we get when we are setting goals can be a little tricky, because that neurotransmitter, which is the center of pleasure and, you know, reward, that can kind of just get us a little bit mixed up because we're like, oh, this feels exciting, but if it's not aligned with our personal values and passions, then again we're gonna have a decreased satisfaction if we achieve that goal and that just increases the risk of burnout.

Speaker 1: 17:59

I mentioned this before that women entrepreneurs we often have to balance the business responsibility with other roles as a family caretaker or a household manager. This constant multitasking can be mentally exhausting. It may not allow for adequate time for rest and recovery, just leading to burnout. When I talk about the balance work weight framework that we go through inside the profitable CO accelerator, I mentioned that it is so important for us to have that goddess day and that goddess day is simply a self-care day to allow for nervous system regulation, allow your brain to rest, allow a time and space for you to be able to take care of yourself, to reduce this risk of burnout. And a lot of times when people, when women, take the time to have this self-care day in the middle of their week or however they have it in their work week, it gives them so much more clarity because they slow down and they're not rushing through, making decisions with an unclear mind.

Speaker 1: 19:09

The next thing is that the lack of immediate feedback and rewards is not planned out in the goal setting session. So it is very important to map out milestones and what you're going to do to reward yourself while you're taking action and you're achieving these small milestones. I imagine that it's like taking off on a long journey and not having milestones or rest stops and saying, oh okay, well, if I'm at this rest stop, that means I am a quarter of the way there, I'm going to rest, I'm going to reward myself with the rest. Right, I'm going to reward myself with this. So when we set these long term goals, yes, it's great to go big picture, but we also need to go into more details so that we are navigating the course. We are putting little seeds of like okay, if this happens, then I know that this is what it means. Or I know that I'm almost on my way, or I'm almost there, or I know that if I'm not here at a certain point, or if I'm in this energy, or I'm in this, maybe income level or whatever your KPI is your key performance indicator, then you can make the adjustments. You can tell yourself, like this is, I'm almost there, this needs to pivot, I need to change these things, right. So having those reward rest stops is going to be very important so that your motivation doesn't decrease over time.

Speaker 1: 20:51

Now we also can rely too much on willpower, which goes back to having misaligned goals. So I was going to bring in the human design part with the misalignment of the goals. So when we have a misalignment of where we want to go, because we are focusing on the external validation versus, like, the internal motivation and the internal motivation and we're not listening to our authority, then we're going to push through, we're going to force our way through versus allowing ease and flow. So, for instance, if you are a saco authority and when you made this goal you didn't listen to that, you didn't check in with your strategy and authority, then as you're taking action towards this goal, you might feel out of alignment later, but you're like no, I'm determined to get through this. So you push through with willpower versus allowing things to naturally come as they are, and being flexible on the way that you achieve that goal, knowing that if you're going in that direction but maybe you know, had a pit stop or you didn't go in a straight line, but you're still going in that direction then you're still on that path. Which brings me to the next point.

Speaker 1: 22:19

Challenges in establishing new habits often arise when we are setting a goal and doing things in a different way. So neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to form new connections and habits, and this can take time. It's not like an instant thing. Now there are a couple of things that you can do, like take action while in play, learning things while in play, because the repetition is not as many as required to create these new neuro pathways. But we will get demotivated when it comes to creating this habit. Like we're, like we want this and we want it now. Right, and that's why I think that, being in a world with Instagram application and how fast things show up at our door, you know we order something on Amazon and you can have same day delivery, you know everything, you know you can go on, pick up the phone and call someone, and so that doesn't necessarily help us when it comes to goal setting, because it is going to take persistence to be able to reach that goal. It's going to take gathered direction, gathered focus, right and intention to be able to reach that goal.

Speaker 1: 23:31

We don't give ourselves enough time and when we don't give ourselves enough time, that leads to maybe that negative self-talk or just feeling discouraged and uncertain. And, lastly, the other point I want to share about what leads to burnout is the inadequate stress management routine that many of us women have. We take on so much, don't ask for help, afraid to speak our minds or share how we're really feeling. We don't want to be judged when, in fact, we're judging ourselves. So when we don't have an adequate stress management system, it can veer us off our goals. We can get burnt out and, honestly, like that right there is probably the number one reason why we don't reach our goals, which is why, again, going back to the balance work week, having that time for you to rejuvenate, to just kind of refuel with your goddess slash self care day, is going to be so important. And I guarantee you that when you incorporate this into your work week, like you literally make it an appointment with yourself, you block it out on your calendar. There are times where you wanted to make a decision, but just waiting it out and gaining clarity will make you realize that, yes, it's good for you or no, this was a bad decision. That was not the way to go.

Speaker 1: 24:57

To summarize, goal setting is not a one and done thing. There is a maintenance routine that must occur because going back to the olympic system, when you can create positive experiences that keep you going from milestone to milestone until you reach that grand finale of reaching that goal, is what's going to keep you on track and motivated. Now, I mentioned this before repetition helps, right. What really helps us reprogram our brains to perform at a higher level and to evolve into the person we want to become, who has the things that we want to be able to achieve. It requires that repetition, that visualization, and then, because the subconscious mind doesn't know what's real, imagined or remembered you are essentially getting your mind and body on board of taking that action. Remember, last week I talked about how, when you work with the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex to make sure that they are together, using that logic and that emotion, to take action in a way that is going to help you reach your goals, versus getting scared, overwhelmed, confused in all of the behaviors and the thoughts that keep us from getting that goal. In the past, if you have ever experienced this excitement for goal setting but you just don't follow through, don't worry, this is just how our body works. But knowing the things that you know now, then you know how to navigate and you know what to expect and you know the things to put in place, the resources and tools to put in place so that you can reach your goals. All right, I hope that was beneficial for you.

Speaker 1: 26:54

We're going to cover this a little bit more in depth at my event that's coming up in January, on 1-11-2024, which, by the way, yes, I told you it's about vision boards in goal setting. I haven't told you all of the details yet, which I will share next week, but something I just learned as I spoke to one of the guest speakers there is that that is actually a new moon. So how aligned is that that we're going to be doing vision boards in a different way that brings in oh, I can't tell you, I won't tell you all that, but anyways, how amazing is that that we're going to do the vision boards and the goal setting on a new moon. So I cannot wait to show you. You have no idea how hard it is for me to not completely share this entire secret. Kind of told a few people. I personally invited a few people before Early Bird goes on sale next Wednesday I'm sorry, next Tuesday but I'm really, really excited about it. I know that this is going to be a total vibe for everyone in the Houston area that shows up to this event. All right, that is all I have for you today.

Speaker 1: 28:04

I will be checking back with you next week with a new episode where we're going to be talking about the logical levels of change and why just simply changing your habits is not going to help you reach your goals faster. So make sure you tune in next week. All right, my love, I will catch you on the next episode of the aligned business woman. Thank you for joining me on this episode of the aligned business woman podcast. I'm your host, vanessa Ann Miller, and I'm so excited to share some good news with you. Head over to the show notes so you can grab your free gift and make sure to leave a review and join me inside the aligned business woman Until next week. Bye, bye, my love.