Women of Worth

Breaking Free: From Busy To Happy And Burnout to Balance (Client Celebration!)

• Claire Fealy

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Have you ever felt exhausted from trying to always be the best? That exhaustion isn't just fatigue—it's a symptom of something deeper. 

Today's episode is all about the trap of chasing external success while neglecting internal wellbeing. If you're always chasing the next big thing but never feeling satisfied - this episode is for you!

High achievement should feel fulfilling, not empty. Yet so many successful women find themselves caught in a paradox—outwardly excelling while inwardly exhausted. 

This episode reveals a powerful client transformation journey from chronic burnout to real balance. We explore how success that comes at the cost of your health and happiness isn't true success at all. You'll discover why high achievers often develop a fear of slowing down, constantly chasing the next big goal while never being able to really enjoy their accomplishments. 

We dive deep into the three essential elements for achieving with more ease and flow: rewiring your subconscious beliefs about self-worth, mastering emotional self-regulation to release fears rather than be driven by them, and implementing simple daily systems that reduce stress while maximizing your happiness. 

In today's episode you'll learn

• how the fear of slowing down keeps high achievers stuck in survival mode
• why living for external validation creates a cycle that never satisfies
• why transforming your relationship with success requires addressing thoughts, emotions, and actions
• how to create radical self-worth by rewiring subconscious beliefs 
• the bedtime bliss practice that helps break addiction to external validation
• the importance of emotional safety for sustainable success
• simple daily systems that reduce stress and create space for more happiness and more of what truly matters

Most importantly, you'll learn why building a life you don't need to escape from is the ultimate success. Every day spent in survival mode reinforces harmful beliefs about your self-worth, but it doesn't have to be this way. Your needs matter, your wellbeing matters, and you deserve to feel calm, content and in control without sacrificing your success.

If this message resonates deeply and you're ready to accelerate your healing journey, I'm currently offering a limited number of free strategy sessions. Book yours today to identify your biggest mindset blocks and create your personalized path forward. Your transformation awaits—because you know that you are not here just to survive, but to thrive and feel fully alive! 

Connect with me on Instagram @clairefealymindsetcoach  or drop me an email at claire.fealy@gmail.com.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Women of Worth podcast. I am your host, clare Feely, teacher turned mindset and confidence coach. Each week, I will be bringing you inspiring people messages and science-backed strategies to help you reconnect with your worth. You are worthy because you were born. This podcast is all about empowering you to stop proving your worth and start being it, because the only person that gets to decide your worth is you. Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of the Women of Worth podcast.

Speaker 1:

If you are a high achieving woman who is smashing it on the outside but on the inside is chaos, you are barely holding it together. Today's episode is for you, and even more so if you're always chasing the next big thing. You're always chasing the next big goal and success feels more empty and exhausting than it does enjoyable. I want to share with you a really powerful client transformation. A really powerful client transformation and the reason I'm sharing this is when we hear other people's stories of where they've been and where they are now, and that it doesn't take 10 years of therapy and it doesn't take quitting your job and moving to another country like these are the stories that we need to hear to show you what's possible. Um, I love doing my episodes where I'm talking about um steps, strategies, self-worth, all of that. But when you can share a client success story, it's like. This is why we do the work, this is why you listen to these episodes, this is why I show up every day for coaching. It's just so bloody powerful when you get the inside right.

Speaker 1:

So in today's episode, I want to share the mindset transformations that this client made, the fears that we cleared and the simple systems that we set up that took her from busy and burnout to happy and balanced. So to get straight into it, this client came to me a few months ago and she was feeling completely drained. She had achieved so much in her life, like a lot of my clients. On paper, her life looked amazing. Sometimes, when these clients come to me and I'm just going to be totally honest here when these clients come to me, I'm like what do you need my help with? You're smashing it, you're doing amazing. But then, once you dig a little bit below the surface, it's like oh okay, you've built all of this, but you're feeling burnt out, you're exhausted, you're constantly busy. And that was definitely this client where all her life just looked amazing from the outside.

Speaker 1:

And that's my story as well like that was the turning point of my life, when I was in Abu Dhabi and I had everything I'd ever wanted and I just realized, like it's just such a feeling of is this? It like I thought this would feel amazing and I'm just exhausted, and it is that like the trap of trying to change the outside to fix the inside and I'm not even going to use the word fix. It's more like trying to get things on the outside, thinking that they'll make you happier, thinking that you know, I relax when I get this big job, or when I get this big project across the line, or when I find a partner, or when I get this house built. That's even another common one with overachievers. A lot of my clients have their own house and worked so hard to get there and you know like thought once I have the house, then I'll relax, and they literally can't switch off, they can't stop thinking about the house, what needs to be done, you know. So it's that like success that comes at the cost of your health and happiness.

Speaker 1:

Um, so this client was chronically overworked and running herself into the ground. Um, she remembers a recent time where she worked for two weeks straight with no break, like that's. I think she was after doing 13 days in a row with no break. Um, she had such a fear of slowing down that, like that's one of the biggest things with people that have achieved a lot on the outside, the more you achieve, the more you have to lose, and if you are attached to your success, if you're attached to what you achieve, you'll never feel safe, you'll never feel secure, because you know, I've even worked with clients who have made multi-millions and they're afraid of losing it all. So it's, it's building your success on a solid foundation, so that you're not achieving from a place of fear and you know that you're actually able to enjoy your success.

Speaker 1:

But she was so afraid of slowing down, she was so afraid of not setting big goals. Like one of her things was I always need a big goal to drive me, I always need to have the next big thing. And it was like, okay, what if your next big goal is to be in the present moment, to be at peace in yourself? And, typical overachiever, she was like no, because that's not tangible. Like that's not. And when we explored this and went even deeper in it, it's because you can't post it on Instagram, it's because you don't have the medal.

Speaker 1:

Like this woman runs marathons. She has climbed, climbed, you know, like mountains, everything right, and it's like you don't have that, you don't have that like you know, tangible thing at the end and it's the we don't even realize that we're doing it. We're living for the applause and we're living for the approval and the admiration of others, the admiration of people around us, and it was just such a breakthrough for her to realize how much she was living, because we convince ourselves and I have myself convinced like I'm just very ambitious, I just love traveling like I travel to over 50 countries and I convinced myself that it's just, I love seeing the world, I love cultures and all of that is true. But I was living in complete survival mode. I was in constant flight and the flight stress response is when you are fleeing yourself. You're fleeing the present moment. So this all becomes a problem when it all catches up to you, like that's what happened to me when I had my big burnout of the end of 2020. It all caught up on me and I literally was like in bed for about six weeks and everything I do is to stop women getting to that point where it's just complete burnout.

Speaker 1:

But I got a voice note from this client yesterday and as soon as I listened to it I was like, yeah, this is the next podcast episode Like this is this, is it? This is why I do what I do, this is why this stuff is so important. And she sent me a voice note just as a check-in and to say how calm she's feeling and how much balance she has between work and life. Like her relationships are better, her hobbies, how she's not stressing over the little things. Like she said something that would have sent me spiraling a year ago and that is like, when you're living in survival mode, you've no capacity, you've no um. Like the little things will send you spiraling. And just as she was naming all of these things, it's like, oh my god, this is it. Like this is why we do what we do, um. But she talked as well about how those little things don't stress her out, but also how much healthier her relationships are and how she's setting healthy boundaries. She's showing up for her friends, but she's not getting dragged into stuff she's not like.

Speaker 1:

And that's something I teach my clients is how to observe and not absorb, so like healthy emotional boundaries, so how to support others without getting sucked into their stuff, and that's a skill like it really is and obviously, as a coach, that's a skill that you have to master. So it's. It's such a powerful skill to be able to support people without, like I used to think that it was empathy that I, you know, if somebody was struggling, like even when I started coaching, I had the martyr syndrome, the like rescuer complex, the white savior, you know, in racism that's what it's called where, like, you get your sense of self-worth from rescuing others and that need to be needed and it's very, very powerful. And I'd say with nearly all of my clients we spend a session on that, like how to support people, how to have healthy relationships without harming yourself. But I'm going to tell you exactly how she went from chronically busy and burnt out to balanced and happy and healthy and feeling secure in herself.

Speaker 1:

So when I'm working with clients, I use a very holistic approach, and what I mean by holistic is we need to look at all three thoughts, emotions, actions because these three are so interconnected. So I always say, like, if you think of the analogy of thoughts, emotions and actions as tea, so like a cup of tea. You are responsible for your own cup of tea, your own thoughts, your own emotions and your own actions, right? And if you think of your thoughts as the tea bag, your emotions as the hot water and your actions as the cup, right? And I know that this analogy might sound a bit oversimplified or silly, but it really really does work, work. So when we're working on thoughts, emotions, actions, I'll tell you how we do this. Your thoughts, starting with your thoughts.

Speaker 1:

It is so, so important to have, like radical self-worth, and what I mean by that is is your behavior is driven by your beliefs. Most people try to change their behavior without changing their beliefs, and that's why their behavior like. That's why they don't get last in transformation. You have to look at the beliefs that are driving your behavior, and usually they're attached to self-worth, right? So I believe that I am only lovable when I am looking after everyone else, or I believe that when I achieve all of my goals, then I will feel relaxed, I feel good enough. It's so important to get to the root beliefs. 90% of your life is controlled by your subconscious mind, not your conscious, like the thoughts that you're aware of mind, not your conscious, like the thoughts that you're aware of. Um, so it's. It's self-worth starts in your subconscious. It's actually getting to those subconscious beliefs.

Speaker 1:

Another thing that this client did to break the addiction to external validation and to learn how to like, build self-worth from the inside out. So what this is called is inherent self-worth. So I am worthy of love, belonging, happiness, success. I'm worthy of good things because of who I am, not what I do. So I give my clients a 10 minute bedtime bliss practice where you go over the best parts of your day Like you learn to cultivate. Instead of chasing happiness on the outside, you cultivate joy from within. This practice, I swear to God, she actually said in the voice note she's still doing her bedtime bliss, not every night, but most nights. We're not looking for perfection time bliss, not every night, but most nights. We're not looking for perfection, we're looking for progress, right, so having a daily practice of validating yourself, going inward and connecting with yourself, and breaking the addiction to external validation by giving it to yourself at the end of the day. So I do the the three wins, what went well today. Two minute magic moment, like what was the best part of your day, and you write about that for two minutes, and one even better if what is one small thing that would make tomorrow even better. So step one is self worth by rewiring your subconscious mind. The second one is self-regulation. So self-regulation is about creating a sense of safety. It's about learning how to regulate and validate your emotions.

Speaker 1:

A lot of times, clients, overachievers, they are overflowing with guilt, anxiety, overwhelm these are all forms of fear. So something I do with my clients it's called the seven layers of fear. Where you get to the core fear that is driving all of these secondary emotions and that's driving all of your stress, and it's really, really powerful. But having a process where you are able to let go of these fears and like the worst thing you can do with your fears is to fear. Most people are afraid of going into the fear. I love going into the fear and and when we get to the root.

Speaker 1:

So when we do the seven layers, it always, like 99% of the time, comes back to our two biggest fears are unhappiness and loneliness, like, oh, it's so powerful when you get to your core fears, what you're really afraid of. So, for example, you're not afraid of people talking about you, you're afraid that your friends and family will believe what they're saying and that you will be abandoned. You will be left all alone, and it's that loneliness and it's usually an experience from the past, like where we experience deep loneliness or deep sadness and we're so afraid of going back there. So you need to master the skill of self-regulation being able to clear your fears, being able to calm your stress response, soothe your stress response and feel safe in your body. And the last one is simple systems. So this is your actions.

Speaker 1:

You have to be able to design your day in a way that reduces stress, boosts your energy and brings more joy to your day. So, for example and I've mentioned this on the podcast before your three well-being rituals mind, body, soul, your two work priorities and then one thing that is just for fun you need to simplify the shit out of your day, make space for what really matters and feel in control of your day. So, rather than your day running you. So I'm just going to remind you thoughts, emotions, actions. So your self-worth is in your beliefs. So rewiring your subconscious mind and your emotions. The skill of self-regulation being able to regulate your emotions and your nervous system so that you feel safe in your body.

Speaker 1:

And then the last one is simple, simple, simple systems that set you up for success and reduce your stress. And and anybody can do this there's can do this. There's nothing special about me, there's nothing special about my clients. We have just mastered the skills of mastering yourself, mastering your day, mastering your emotions, and that's then when you're actually able to enjoy your success, that's then when you're able to like wake up in the morning feeling energized and excited and you're able to fall asleep feeling satisfied. That is the ultimate success. The ultimate success is building a life that you don't need to escape from, building a life that you actually look forward to living.

Speaker 1:

If you're listening to this and you were thinking, holy shit, that is my story, that is me then it is time to stop normalizing living in survival mode. You do not have to keep going like this. You deserve to feel calm, just like my client. You deserve to feel energized and you deserve to feel in control of your life. Every day that you stay in burnout and survival mode, you are just reinforcing the belief that your needs come last, that you don't matter, that your worth is outside of you. It's in your achievements, it's in the approval of other people. It's in your appearance. That is not success. That is low self-worth. It does not matter what your life looks like if it feels exhausting and empty.

Speaker 1:

So if this really resonates with you, I want to invite you to book a free strategy session with me. This is a 30 minute Zoom call where we get clear on your biggest mindset block, what is keeping you stuck and what you really want, getting clear on the end goal and then the exact steps to get there. So I give you three steps of how to get there. If we're a fit for complete transparency, if we're a fit for working together and you want my help to implement the action plan, at the end of the call I will go over your options of working together. So drop me a dm on instagram or I leave the link in the show notes and just to know that I only have a few spots every month. So if you're ready to break free from stress and step into your power, stop postponing your transformation. You are my next success story. You are the one going to be sending me a voice note going holy shit, claire, I didn't realize that life gets to be this easy, that it gets to be this enjoyable, that it gets to feel this flippin good. Um, book your session today and we can start to create a life where you can thrive at the top of your game without the stress, overwhelm and burnout.

Speaker 1:

That is it for today's episode. I hope you enjoyed it. As always, I love hearing your feedback, so drop me a dm on instagram and drop me an email clairefeely at gmailcom. I love hearing your takeaways. I love hearing your feedback and bonus. If you share this with a friend, if you share it to your stories, don't forget to tag me. Help me to help more women live with less stress and more happiness. You did not come here to just survive. You know that. You came here to thrive, feel fully alive and flippin' enjoy yourself. Your only goal in life is to enjoy yourself. Thank you so much for sharing the last 20 minutes with me, and I will chat to you in the next episode.

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Claire Fealy

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