When we fall prey to doctors who promise us the world and delivery us a dish of deception and snake oil covered in a sauce of science and benign intent, we are easily fooled. Doctors are good at frightening us and then telling us, in the most detailed and complex way, that we have a disease and they have the cure. We either listen to them or we die. We all received a big dish of this medical deception during the 2 years of COVID, and we believed everything we were told was necessary and lifesaving, the results of which were catastrophic: the highest COVID and non-COVID death rate in the world, and a reduction of life expectancy by almost 5 years. That's how doctors save us? We will look at the tools doctors use in their dish of deception, tools that an unwary public swallows and thinks is helpful to them. These include treating numbers and not people, using surrogate markers to stand in for real disease, and treating "diseases" that are not clinically relevant and that are of no consequence to the patient. We'll discuss all of these ideas and then move on to some real life examples.