The Families of Character Show
We serve parents who want more for their family. Our show offers research-based parenting solutions to the most common family problems, real-life parenting stories, and authentic support. The host, Jordan Langdon, is a wife, mother, and Licensed Clinical Social Worker who validates what parents go through and offers practical actionable steps parents can implement today to transform their families in joy and unity. Guests are experts in their field of work and provide high-value material for parents and families.
The Families of Character Show
Ep. #149: Empowering Future Female Leaders with Dena Patton
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What if the key to raising capable, confident adults isn't found in protecting them, but in purposefully equipping them with real-world skills years before they leave your home?
Dena Patton, award-winning leadership coach, co-founder of the Girls Rule Foundation, and author of the book The Greatness Game, reveals how intentional parenting transforms uncertain teenagers into empowered young adults.
• Parenting with purpose means breaking negative childhood cycles while intentionally creating positive experiences
• Raising children means raising future adults, requiring deliberate skill-building starting at age 12-13
• Enabling vs. empowering—simple tasks like making appointments build crucial self-advocacy skills
• Creating emotional connections with teenagers through lighthearted moments and memorable experiences
• Leadership is an action, not a title—girls need these skills in their teens, not just adulthood
Learn more about Girls Rule Foundation's Wings to Fly summer camp on their website. Registration is open until May 30th for high school girls.
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Speaker 1:Today on our show we have an award-winning leadership coach who has co-founded a foundation called the Girls Rule Foundation, and she has co-founded this organization with three like-minded women who share her passion for advancing the next generation of female leaders and with the belief that leadership starts young. Girls Rule equips girls with essential skills in self-esteem, leadership and financial literacy. Praise God, these are all great character, strengths and skills that we definitely endorse here at Families of Character, and their foundation hosts all kinds of really awesome workshops, summer camps and after school programs for girls that provide them with the tools to thrive in life and to step confidently into their potential as tomorrow's leaders. So our guest, Dina, is dedicated to helping individuals really embrace their greatness, unlock their potential and create a ripple effect of leadership and empowerment in their communities and in their families. So welcome to the show, Dena Patton.
Speaker 2:Thank you, thanks for having me on this amazing show that you have.
Speaker 1:Well, absolutely so. You are married and have your own children, and you also have this like fiery passion for parenting with greatness, like really just trusting yourself and your tools to get through hard times. So tell us a little bit about your own family and where this passion for parenting with greatness comes from.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Well, I do have a junior in high school, she's 17. So all y'all who are in the teen years, I am with you. So not only do I work with teen girls and in girls rule, but you know all the stuff is going on at home, and I'm a law enforcement wife and so my husband is a 26 year law enforcement.
Speaker 2:And you know, one of the things that we really decided very early on was to parent with purpose and intention and to break the cycles of some stuff that we didn't get in our childhood. You know, we all know that parents aren't perfect. We are not trying to be perfect. We didn't have perfect parents, but we wanted to really look at what are some things that went in our own childhood that we didn't get, that we want to be on purpose on, you know, in bringing into our family, into our values, into our parenting, and just really get intentional and purposeful and faithful around our parenting. And it's my number one job in life is to be a great mom, and that comes before my two businesses, before all the other roles in my life, and it takes a, it's not easy, it takes a lot of work to be an on-purpose parent, but you know what we fall in love with progress, not perfection.
Speaker 2:If you think parenting, like your whole game, is to be a perfect mom, to be a perfect dad, that's just the wrong game You're. You know you're going to end up in shame and failure because we all make mistakes and there's no perfection. So you know, that's really the essence is, we started out with that like intention very young and you know we're in this new phase right now because she just started driving and has her own job and so we're getting I mean, we just went from, you know you're driving your little one around for 16 years and then boom, they have a license, they have a car, they have a job and it's like, oh my gosh, I'm literally a mini adult right now. So new season, really new season. It's awesome.
Speaker 1:Well, you said it, like you spend all these years driving them around and they're totally dependent on you. And then one day they're not, they get the keys and they pass the test, dependent on you. And then one day they're not, they get the keys and they pass the test, and this, this life of freedom and independence, opens up. And then you're like setting them free out there. And you, you mentioned, you know, this little adult. That's right. We have to remind ourselves from the time our babies are born, that we are raising adults.
Speaker 1:And so we can't do that without being intentional or the culture just swallows them up. And then all of a sudden we're in this panic that like, oops, it's 18 years later, you know. And then they just sort of turned out how they turned out. So I love that you said you and your husband decided early on that you were going to parent on purpose and parent with intention.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is. You know. I see unfortunately not only in our own community and friend groups, but I see it a lot in girls rule where you know their girl becomes a junior or senior and then the light bulb goes off and they're like, oh gosh, I got to get self-management skills in financial literacy, still in time management skills, food management. You know, if they're 18 and they're moving out, whether it's to college workforce, moving out on their own, those skill sets of you know self-management, time management, money management, food management They've got to know those. And at 18, isn't the time to be learning those? It's, you know, it really starts really young.
Speaker 2:But that super intentionality starts about 12 is what I coach is that 12 to 18, you're really clicking into a new level of responsibility. And you know, when they're young we're many. You know doing many things like that right, like keeping their room clean or their little chores there's little seeds and possibilities of responsibility and self-management. But once they turn that 12 ish, 13, you don't want to like introduce them to responsibility at 12 or 13. They should have those little opportunities along the way. And then we're cranking that up at that 12 and 13 because we know high school's hard. You have to, really you know you have to use those skills in high school, but then, once they get out, it's 100% on their own, you know. So it's a major thing, but I've, you know, I've, really I always say we only get 18 summers with our kids. So not only are we putting character and values and skill sets in our kids, right, cause we are raising adults, um, but you're all on the personal side, you're trying to get faith in them, you're trying to get connection with them, you're trying to create memories. Like we just took my daughter and five friends camping, because I am really passionate about creating memories.
Speaker 2:You know just that intentionality, whether it's a pool party or it's a camping trip, like I think parents, we get so busy with our own life and survival and bills and marriage and all the things. Like what are you doing A to create connection, just in those little everyday moments in the kitchen, right, just leaning in for a hug or an emotional connection, because our kids need it, although they'll roll their eyes and be like mom, I don't need a hug, right, and I was like well, I need a hug, you know, and I just we have to stop being offended. Like, especially if you have a teenager, they are going to say hurtful things like don't give me a hug or I don't like you, or whatever. And you're like, yeah, but I love you. Like you know, like you can't let your teenager stop your love.
Speaker 2:You're, you know, I actually have a friend who has really gotten really hurt by her son's teenage attitude, right, and she's like I don't even want to talk to him, I don't want to hug him, I don't want to do anything for him. Like we really get, we can get hurt and offended. When you got to pray about it. I mean God will help you through that and take that offensiveness off so you can find your love again. But we have to sometimes, you know, what I've learned is sometimes I just have to be light about it, of like when she doesn't want to. Sometimes, you know, what I've learned is sometimes I just have to be light about it, of like when she doesn't want to hug. You know, I just I'll like be funny about it. I'm like, well, I've got to get my one hug in, you know, for the day. And she's like OK, but you know, those those memories are like think about us. You know we, whatever your childhood was, it was good, it was bad, it was all over the place, but there was a couple good memories in there somewhere. We want to do that intentionally, and sometimes it's the smallest things like walking to the ice cream store and getting an ice cream and just checking in with them. Right, don't make it too heavy, just check. You know what's up. What's up with your friends. How are you Right? Hey, you know what's up. What's up with your friends? How are you Right? Hey, you know that thing that happened a couple months ago. You know how are you about that.
Speaker 2:You know these kids right now are dealing with a lot. I don't know about you, but I mean we've had a couple suicides in our school. We have hard things going on. We have kids that their parents are fighting and divorcing. That's so traumatic on our kids, right? So, although maybe your kid isn't going through something right now, but they're seeing someone go through something, right, and so they still need that emotional, like they're seeing the trauma or they're seeing the divorce and of course, it's running Well, are you and dad getting divorced? Like they're scared, right? So, just leaning in sometimes of just like, how are you doing? And, hey, what you know? What are your thoughts about that and just letting them talk to you Like so these are it's. It's these little moments that I feel like don't dig too much or they'll turn off right, like it's just being light and checking in emotionally and making memories. That's the phase we're in right now.
Speaker 1:I love it Making memories and being intentional about planning those little outings that they can call to mind when they are adults, right. So, one of the activities I'm having parents do in our date night events that we host once a month is just simply reflecting back on their own childhood and thinking like what types of things did my parents do that created a fun summer memory for?
Speaker 2:me right.
Speaker 1:And then like what feelings come up when you remember that camping trip. You know, I remember just feeling like this appreciation for nature at a young age or whatever.
Speaker 1:Ok, so would you like your child to, to experience an appreciation for nature? Yes, ok, then what can you do as parents today intentionally to make that happen for your own kids? Right, and so, reflecting back on our own childhood, some people I think kind of poo poo that, and they go like, oh, it's in the past, you know, and if it was ugly I don't want to look at it, but it's important. I'm glad to hear you say that.
Speaker 1:You know, reflect back and look there so that it can inform where you're going next, what you want to take and what you want to get rid of.
Speaker 2:Get rid of right. You have to have that discernment and you can. You know, one of my favorite words is and is you can. You can leave the negative in the past and take the lessons and the memory of the good, because that is data. You know, our past is data. Our past is data that we can really use for good, and I had a pretty traumatic childhood. It's why I'm really passionate about A giving my daughter a healthy, balanced, good childhood but helping other girls have a good childhood right.
Speaker 2:And I think that it's important to have the courage to look in our past and look at the negative because you can learn from it, know better, do better. You can say you know what. This was not good in my childhood, this was not good, this was not good. How can I do better? And that's the lessons that I think are really powerful from our past, and not just shoving it, you know, in the sand and never looking. Let's take those things that were hard and learn and do those better. But let's find the good things that were really good and say how can we duplicate that now? And it's such powerful wisdom and nuggets that we can bring into our own intentionality and I think it's important to understand Zig Ziglar. I pulled up this quote. It says children go where there is excitement. It says children go where there is excitement. They stay where there is love. And I just love that because I like exciting things and I was definitely the kid that was like oh, that looks fun over there. Right, that's exciting. But they come back to where they feel loved and really at the highest level.
Speaker 2:If you're an aunt, if you're an uncle, if you're a grandparent, if you're an aunt, if you're an uncle, if you're a grandparent, if you're a parent, you have a responsibility to your kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, to love them. And in your own way, you know, and I think when you take that on as a responsibility like how am I doing as a loving aunt, right? Or a loving uncle, I think it just we can take that inventory and go. You know I need to lean into them a little bit more and have the courage to do that. You know I had a, unfortunately, my brother just recently passed away and he has a son and his son was 24. And I've always, you know, I've always had a relationship with them.
Speaker 2:But you know, I took my own inventory and I said I need to step it up as an aunt in his life, being more intentional to call him, invite him over for dinner. Lean into him. I'm an entrepreneur. I've been an entrepreneur for 29 years. He was thinking about his own business. Of course I'm like I'm going to support you. Right, I'm his biggest champion and helping him start his own business. So there's little things. If you have the courage to lean in and say you know what I'm going to love on them just a little bit more, and you're going to be so surprised at how impactful that really is surprised at how impactful that really is.
Speaker 1:Totally agree with what you're saying, and there's always an opportunity to do just like 1% better at connecting with your kids, and I love also the idea of, as a couple, taking an inventory of your past so you can learn and appreciate where your spouse is coming from. Because, man, when you put two people together who were raised with much different upbringings and backgrounds, and then you influence, that little duo, influences your children, but you haven't really appreciated where you've come from, that's hard.
Speaker 1:There can be a lot of strife, so doing that little exercise and activity with the sense of curiosity about your spouse like hey, how did you handle holidays and summers and what were your favorite memories, is a beautiful thing to bring into that intentional parenting. And then also, just like you said, just taking an inventory of the people in your close circle, right, your kids, relationship with your kids. How intentional am I being about that? But then also, just like a layer out, my extended family, my nieces and nephews, my godchildren, right Like yes.
Speaker 1:How am I connecting with them and helping them feel that secure attachment that maybe we didn't have?
Speaker 2:That's it. Yeah, that's it, that's it, that's it. You know, do they feel like if here's our, here's a hard question, that we ask the parents when we're a Girls Rule Foundation, when we're doing our, our programs, we ask the parents, do you feel like if we asked your girls right now that you are a safe, trusted adult in their life, would they say yes or no? And you would think, as a mom and dad, you would be like, of course. Like, of course I am. But you'd be shocked at how many girls and again, I don't work with boys, but how many girls will say my mom's not a safe person for me. I mean, do I love her? Do I, you know? But as far as like telling her really hard or bad things, like they don't have that, they don't have that safety right in there.
Speaker 2:And that is, I think, one of our, one of our biggest objectives as parents is learning that secure attachment.
Speaker 2:How do I? Not only for our kids, but I'm committed to being a safe adult for other kids, and we have a lot of kids through our house. We're kind of like the pool party house and that's one of my biggest objective is always creating a safe place that kids can feel very loved and they know that if something hard happens, that this is a safe house, right, and that takes some whoo, some. You know you have to lean into that. You know Google say, you know, being a safe person for kids like there's actually there's books on it, there's there's not necessarily training, but there's, you know, there's so much information I say, lean into that and for you, for you, because it's a privilege being a safe person for a kid. They might not have that in their parents and you are the only one for them, right? So it is really important to be that safe place and you know, as parents, knowing I, another thing that I often see is the difference between enabling and empowering.
Speaker 1:And talk about that yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I see it and and I, I, you know, I. I see this in me where it's like I want to do so much for my daughter. And when we have the discernment of enabling versus empowering, we really see the damage we can do when we're constantly enabling our kids, which means we're doing everything for them. At 14, I stopped calling and making appointments for my daughter. She had to learn how to make appointments for her Her haircut. Calling a salon and saying, do you have Tuesday afternoon open? It's such a small thing that we think nothing of it. It's so small, but that one thing can you take. If you have a 13 year old or above, I challenge you stop making haircut appointments for them. Have them call. Just that one teeny little thing can create courage, build courage and to call someone a business and ask for an appointment for yourself. Or here's a second one that you can do is a restaurant reservation.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:It's. You know you're going to see a very, very nervous child, but you know what, by the time they do it four times, five times, they're like I got this.
Speaker 2:And their courage translates to other things in their school life, in their, you know, applying for college, of asking for things, because that's really what it is. You're getting on the phone and you're asking an adult, a company, for something, a reservation, right. So these teeny, teeny little things where you don't see it as something big. But it's a place where you can start to build their courage with the outside world, right and so.
Speaker 2:But enabling is something that I'm seeing a lot, and you know, 32% of kids drop out of their freshman year of college because they weren't ready. It's not there. They weren't smart enough. They weren't ready with the skill sets I mean the self-management skill sets that you need when you're 18 and 19, on your own or in college is a lot, but when you've been practicing those things for a few years, you're ready when you leave, right? So parents and grandparents have that discernment when you're about to do something that they can do for themselves. Stop, take a breath, ask them to do it, and what you're doing is you're building that skill of self-management, self-advocacy, learning how to ask for things right, how to manage themselves. You start that in high school and you practice that in little ways all over the place for four years. They're going to be so set up to be on their own.
Speaker 1:I love it. You are speaking my language.
Speaker 1:That gives them so much courage to assert themselves down the road with bigger things Like I remember one of our guests was talking about how she coaches teens as well and she said like just think about how often you know your friends will say, hey, let's go grab a Starbucks or Chick-fil-A, and you'll jump in your car and you'll go to the drive-thru and then they're like oh yo, I didn't bring my money. Like can you pay? And and like you need to have the assertive skills to be like I'm not going to pay for yours. You were the one that asked to come.
Speaker 1:Like you know, I don't want to be taken advantage of right To have healthy boundaries and to be assertive. And so just the other day my kids saved for a chinchilla. Okay, they had to have like $300 saved to buy a chinchilla. We have no pets and this is our first pet for now and my daughter's 10. And I said, well, what are you going to do? Like you better call the vet and find out, like, does it need a wellness check or whatever? And so she said, oh, I don't know what to say, mom.
Speaker 1:And so we did a little role play and she picked up that phone and dialed and I could tell her heart was beating fast when they answered. And she, she talked to them about everything that this little chinchilla needed, and the person on the other line I could tell because it was on speakerphone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was like oh, okay, you're calling about your own chinchilla. Oh great, do you have it already? No, we don't, but we're getting ready. Okay, oh, this is great, you're calling in advance. I mean, they were just so impressed that this someone would be prepared and have the courage to ask.
Speaker 1:So I love that you're training girls in assertive communication, to have courage and to build that confidence they need. It also helps them to say no to things in teenage relationships that they really need to be, you know, ready to fend off and say no to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, today's girls. I mean, frankly, I am like, oh my gosh, blown away at what teen girls manage today. The world is moving so fast. They have so much information that they have to discern through. Then they have phone addiction and social media addiction. They're facing challenges that we could have never handled 20, 30, 40 years ago. But here's the cool thing there's more opportunities for girls and women today than they ever have been. But here's the negative. This is the stats.
Speaker 2:I've been doing this for 14 years and God really knocked on my heart 14 years ago. I've been coaching CEOs and leaders for 24 years and he said hello, I need to pull you to girls. Our girls need you. And you know I'm only working with thousands of girls, like not hundreds of thousands, not millions. But when God brings you to something, say yes. I said no for a couple years and then you know we finally get the point of maybe God did choose the right person. And 14 years later, I'm still doing this work.
Speaker 2:Because girls want to lead. They now there's opportunities to lead. However, there's still a sticking point they don't have the skills to lead. Girls do not get the skills to lead until their 20s and 30s, and that is what I'm changing is it was not good enough that really those skill sets of leadership were happening and financial leadership, confidence, were not happening until later college and then early adulthood, so that like 22 to 30. And I was like, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, girls need it at 12 and 13 and 16 and 18. So they're ready for those opportunities to hit at 22 and 25 and 29. For those opportunities to hit at 22 and 25 and 29. So it's the skill sets that are missing. So we've got the ready, they have a willingness and readiness, we have the opportunities, but they don't have the tools. And that's what Girls For World Foundation does and I love that. You mentioned or we were talking about the past One of the most special things in my childhood that was positive was summer camp. I loved summer camp.
Speaker 2:Like everyone, raise your hand if you love summer camp, right, like I loved summer camp and it was always kind of this background dream of having a summer camp.
Speaker 2:Long story short, 10 years ago we did our first Wings to Fly summer camp and this year will be July 13th through the 19th will be our 10th annual summer camp and it is the most awesome program. Like I, I designed it as something that I wish I had when I was little and these girls literally come in teenagers and they leave leaders seven days later. It's unshakable confidence, strong leadership skills and mindsets that help them overcome all of the think about the four years in high school, all the temptations, the addictions, the bad people, the influences like all these things that are just pulling on girls that you know we don't have our boundaries learned, we don't have emotional intelligence, we don't have advocacy Again, all these strong things that later in life we learn we don't have them at 14 and 16. So what happens is girls get very derailed in these things, right, and our girl statistics are getting worse, not better. So that's where I was like I'm doing we have to have a summer camp and it's extraordinary. So it's my favorite, favorite program of everything that we do.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you for your obedience because, like you said, god can knock on your heart and you can be like I don't think. So. That's not me. You got the wrong gal. Here I'm, I'm keyed up for, like I'm good, right, right, that is so awesome. Well, when you were talking about that, I just got a little like chill, because what it made me think of with your girls summer camp and equipping them and empowering them to be leaders is exactly what you said is that if they don't have these skills at 12, 13, 14, 15, what happens and I can say this with certainty as a counselor is that they get wrecked in their teen years with sexual relationships, with friendships that go wrong, with these pressures to meet people on the internet. And then, all of a sudden, this sweet little girl that you saw all these leadership qualities in and this passion, and that God had marked her for something great. It's totally sidelined, because now they're dealing with trauma, and when you're wrecked with trauma, it's very difficult to be a leader in that state of mind.
Speaker 1:Now there's trauma, help and healing and all of that, but then again you delay your future because you have to sit back and dig into this healing your trauma, because you didn't have the skills to say no to those relationships.
Speaker 2:Exactly yes, so good. Okay, the name of this camp is Wings to Fly. Oh good.
Speaker 1:Okay, the name of this camp is Wings to Fly.
Speaker 2:It's Wings, yeah, wings to Fly, but our, our website is girlsruarleadershipcamporg and it's on our website. Girls Rule Foundation produces it every year and, and I'll tell you so, we have three pillars of curriculum. It's self-confidence sorry, self-esteem and confidence. And then we have our financial literacy and then our 12 leadership principles, and that's the three curriculum pillars of all of our programs. And we have an after-school club that any school or group can start in the country, and then we have our annual summit. That's every year in the spring. And then we have our annual summer camp, and our summer camp we only allow 30 girls. It's very high touch, high impact, and so you know, having 100 girls or 200 girls, you just lose. You lose a lot of that. And so it's very powerful having a small group.
Speaker 2:But we hosted up in Sedona, arizona, which a lot of people know. Sedona, it's red rock country, it's gorgeous, we have horses and a Creek and just an amazing campus for these girls. We have a few, we have a lot of girls here from Arizona, but we have girls fly in from around the country to join us, and one of the my favorite things that we do is the girls start a business on day one and sell the business on day seven, and what I mean by that is this year's business is a pop-up restaurant. So they're going to start a restaurant, literally name it, create the logo, create the experience, the menu, everything to work on it for seven days, market it and then on the seventh day we're going to, we open a ticket, tickets, people buy tickets and they're going to do the pop-up restaurant. We sell a hundred tickets.
Speaker 2:The community and parents can come and have this amazing experience that the girls completely created. So they're getting those entrepreneur. It's just a platform for the girls to practice their skill sets, mindsets, leadership. We have three divisions that the girls can be in front of the house, back of the house or the marketing department and they work on their business. And then they see all these community members, we get the mayor to come, some parents to come and they have this two-hour pop-up restaurant experience that they fully did themselves. I mean it's just pretty extraordinary and so that's one of the highlights of camp and so it's just magical.
Speaker 1:How fun. I want to be invited. I want to come to the opening day. That sounds so awesome. The other thing I love about that is that, um, you know, women, we have an eye for beauty and detail and service, and service is such a beautiful thing, because that is the real definition of love is dying to self.
Speaker 1:And so to be able to create a beautiful experience for another person and to serve them with great love and care is again a skill that you do have to learn. It's just not innate. So you're developing that in kind of a fast track way. In seven days In Arizona. This sounds amazing. It's fun. You still have spots available for 2025.
Speaker 2:We do. So we end our registration May 30th, and so registration for camp is open until then 30th, and so registration for camp is open until then. And, if not, get on the waiting list for next year. And it's for rising freshmen to rising seniors. So high school girls, and it's really the most life changing experience that they can, they can do. But I my personality, you know I have, I have two strong things about my personality when I'm very purpose driven and all this work right, but I want everything to be fun. So so that's the combination of of everything I do and camp, you know, of course we have a water balloon fights and some wars and the horses and the swimming and, you know, cooking class and just all the fun stuff of camp and all the leadership principles. They really leave equipped with these principles that they can not only use immediately in their life but beyond high school, you know, again, helping our girls become successful adults.
Speaker 2:And one of the sayings that we say is leadership is an action, not a title. So I think a lot of it's just, you know, again, women sometimes think, oh, I'll be a leader when I get that title, when I get that raise, it's like no, no, no, leadership is an action right now. Right, how are you leading your life? How are you leading your money? How are you leading your health? That's leadership. And how are you leading your family? Right? That's the essence of leadership.
Speaker 2:And so, you know, that's one of the big things that we say to the girls, don't you? You know, just think leadership is being the captain of your team or the president of that club. You're a leader right now, first and foremost in your own life, and so she becomes this unstoppable force when she is equipped with that kind of narrative of like I'm taking responsibility to lead my life right and the tools to do that. And that's what you know, for all kids, we, you know we need to equip them, especially right now, when they're being so pulled off of the internet and influencers and, you know, the phone addiction. So we've got to lean in as adults. Like I said, whether you're an aunt or a parent or a grandparent or just, you know, a trusted adult in your own community, how can you lean in to kids today?
Speaker 1:So good what you're doing for young women, dina. I love it. I love it. Okay, my daughter's 10, but we will have to put her on the wait list for this, because this sounds just fantastic and I love that, instead of just watching influencers on social media and just like consuming right content and looking at what other people are doing, you are engaging them and showing them that they are capable of building their own little brand and they're capable of serving at a great high level and that they have what it takes to get them through hard times Right, and that translates to their life as wives and mothers right when they're in our position.
Speaker 2:It's.
Speaker 1:I think you know so many times people think well, women in leadership means that they're going to just sideline their husbands and run roughshod over them. No, good leadership means recognizing when to allow your husband to lead and really equipping him and empowering him to step into his role as the leader of the family.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I do want to say that back to the word. To the word, and because it is one of my favorite words is it is important to understand your priorities. Faith comes first for me, parenting, then marriage, then my two businesses, and and I stay very intentional around my self-care too, because we know we've got to fuel ourselves or we fall apart, and then that's for another. I had a stroke at 27. So that was all for a whole, nother episode, what I had to learn the hard way of not taking care of ourselves. But you know, when you understand your priorities, you know, and when your values are clear, decisions are easy. And one of my core values is faith first and family. You know, and I still can run two successful businesses, so and and so. But I think when we get our priorities mixed up it becomes all jumbled right. You don't know your priority, and so it's really important to understand what are you putting first and then living that out. Like does your schedule? If I looked at your calendar, does that reflect that right?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, we talk about that all the time here at Game as a Character. God spouse kids. Because, you started your family, with your spouse right. And so that's the foundation of your family. And then making sure that you have a united team you and your spouse are really doing things that make your child feel part of you know team Patton, or team Langdon right.
Speaker 1:It's like, yes, I totally agree with you that the order of priorities matters and that if we can't get that right, or we continue to live our lives with that flipped on its head, then everything else just unravels and work becomes really hard. Managing our businesses becomes so difficult. Well, that's because our relationship with our spouse and then our relationship with our kids are fractured, are fractured Heavy on us, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's very like I I can't, I can't do any of them well without God. So I have, like I have to have that connection. And yeah, I mean my 30 minute every morning prayer and meditation time and just getting my head and heart every day. And the more my two businesses grow, the more I am committed to that. You know, and I think that's where a lot of people you know they have God in their life or they have workouts in their life or self care mind, body, spirit. You know they're intentional, but then when life gets busy, all of that disintegrates. It's like no, no, no, no, you need more of that right. The bigger we are, you know, the bigger the family gets and the bigger the responsibilities get, the more you need God and self-care right. And so that's the lesson that I had to learn and I am non-negotiable around my faith time and my self-care time, because I'm the fuel to our family, to my businesses, to just living a life that is purposeful takes.
Speaker 2:It takes a lot, and I'm, you know, and it's it's, it's exhausting. So we've got to rest, we've got to refuel so that we can go out and be a blessing to our, to our company, to our family, to our community. So it's a, it's a lot, but again it comes back to work in priority order. If you don't know your priorities, everything's going to collapse and then that's where the overwhelm and the shame and just you know you get, you get. You're in so much confusion you can't get yourself out Right. So we've got to stop and say what is my priority and how can I redo my schedule for this week, this month, this year to reflect my priorities? If you stop and do yourself, put a timer on for an hour and reset your calendar for the week, the month, the year inside of your priorities and then pray over it and then do it, you're gonna have a different life because you're gonna finally feel prioritized and to your priorities.
Speaker 1:So it's important, totally is important.
Speaker 1:You got to find your true north when are you pointing so that you can say no to all the trivial many. That's it. That's it the critical few. Okay, well, this Wings to Fly Summer Camp is linked here in our show notes, so folks just scroll down underneath this episode so that you can click and find out more and register your teen daughter for this amazing camp in Arizona. Dina, it has been an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for bringing your passion, your influence and your faith and leadership to our show, and we wish you the best and just hope that you continue in these efforts to influence young women. So thank you very much for joining us.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Thanks so much for the conversation.
Speaker 1:Yes, ladies and gentlemen, if you know of people raising teen girls, please forward this on to them. Be sure that you're sharing these episodes with your own spouse, so that you're hearing the same message and can have a conversation about it, but also to your friends out there too. We sure appreciate that, and we'll catch you on another episode of our show real soon. Be sure to parent with intention. Take care.
