The Families of Character Show
We serve parents who want more for their family. Our show offers research-based parenting solutions to the most common family problems, real-life parenting stories, and authentic support. The host, Jordan Langdon, is a wife, mother, and Licensed Clinical Social Worker who validates what parents go through and offers practical actionable steps parents can implement today to transform their families in joy and unity. Guests are experts in their field of work and provide high-value material for parents and families.
The Families of Character Show
Ep. #150: Simplifying Your Summer with Julia Ubbenga
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Is your summer calendar already starting to resemble a losing game of Tetris? Do you find yourself wondering how you're supposed to feel relaxed when you're constantly shuttling between swimming lessons, camps, and birthday parties? Take a deep breath—there's a better way.
Julia Ubbenga, author of "Declutter Your Heart and Your Home," joins us to reveal how a minimalist approach to summer can transform chaos into connection.
• Create a summer vision by journaling, reflecting, and asking your children what they want to experience
• Make "fulfillment lists" with daily, weekly, and monthly connection activities you treat as non-negotiable appointments
• Embrace boredom as the precursor to creativity and self-directed play
• Limit choices and activities to avoid decision fatigue for both parents and children
• Remember that reducing possessions can decrease housework by approximately 40%
Rate and review our podcast on Apple or Spotify, then email hello@familiesofcharacter.com with your name to enter a drawing for a signed copy of "Declutter Your Heart and Your Home."
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Hey there, parents, welcome back. I'm Jordan Langdon here, and today's episode is exactly what your heart might just be craving right now. I want to ask you does your summer calendar already look like a losing game of Tetris? Are you wondering how you're supposed to feel like, relaxed and refreshed this summer when you are running from swimming lessons to soccer camp to that birthday party? You forgot to RSVP to Listen. If you are nodding your head or silently screaming inside, you are in the right place.
Speaker 1:Today we are diving into how to simplify your summer so that you can experience more peace, more joy and fewer of those moments where you're wondering why you thought a 12-hour road trip with a bunch of toddlers was a good idea. So joining me today is Julia Abengay, a writer, speaker, mom of five and author of the beautiful book Declutter your Heart and your Home. Guys. Julia lives and breathes minimalist living, and she's here to show us that a slower, simpler summer is not only possible, but it's deeply life-giving. So today we're going to talk about what a minimalist summer really looks like, how to resist the pressure to pack your days full, like I'm guilty of, creative ways to build connection without blowing your budget, and practical tips for keeping the clutter and the chaos at bay. So just trust me here. Whether you are deep into the world of minimalism or you just really want one day of peace this summer, you are going to love this conversation. So grab your coffee, find a comfy spot and let's jump in. Welcome back to our show Julia Jordan.
Speaker 2:thank you so much for having me back on. It's a joy to be here talking with you again today.
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm so excited that you were just on our show, episode 146, where we talked about decluttering your heart in your home and your brand new book. So I'm curious how are the book sales going?
Speaker 2:They are going really, really well. Thank you for asking. Yes, it's been a bestseller on Amazon in its category and it's just great. Yeah, sales are going great. I just think it's such a needed message. So many of us are feeling overwhelmed with our stuff, with our schedule. So I do think the book is speaking to a lot of people and the feedback I'm hearing is just so exciting for me.
Speaker 1:Congratulations. This is your first book, you have five children, you are living a minimalist life with your family and you decided to write a book amidst, you know, having your fifth baby, and it is really blessing people. So I have purchased an extra copy and gave it to someone that I know and she's like oh Jordan, this is so good, I'm going to be giving it to my girlfriend. So, um, at the end of our show, we're going to talk about how you could be put your name in the hat for a free, signed copy of this amazing book. That will really, really help you yield maximum joy in your life. Ok, so stay tuned to the end, folks. Julia, let's jump right in and tell us just what does a minimalist summer look like for your family, and how do you keep things simple while still making some great memories?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So for us as minimalists, summer looks slow.
Speaker 2:It looks intentional. We focus on slowing the pace and just focusing on connecting as a family, and that means that we don't overschedule ourselves. And I think we feel this pressure just from society that you have to sign up for this camp and that camp and your kids have to be in all these activities in the summer, and what I've found is that really being busy like that doesn't lead to a lot of connection as a family, and what I want is connection, and so then I feel like things don't really feel aligned and I feel more stressed, and then everybody else around me feels more stressed, and so for me it's really getting intentional about what is it that I want summer to look like, and thinking about that ahead of time, asking myself that question and reflecting on it, maybe journaling on it, talking to a friend about it a little bit so I can really get those thoughts out in the open, and then making sure that my choices match that vision that I am feeling called for summer to look like I love that.
Speaker 1:So casting a vision, you said, kind of before summer hits, you do some reflective journaling, talking to friends like, what type of summer do we want to have? And then claiming that as a family and then using that as your vision to make all your decisions from right. If we want a summer filled with peace or relaxation, then we're going to think differently about rushing from thing to thing. Whereas if you think, man, we want a summer filled with adventure, like new adventure, then you might pick different activities based on that vision.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. I think when values become clear, decisions become easy. And I then also like to ask our daughters well, we have five kids, but our oldest are 11 and seven, and so I like to ask them too what do you want your summer to look like? And then I actually have them make a list of all the things that they want to do that summer, the things that they like, the people they want to see, and a lot of times they are simple things. They want to spend time at the pool, they want to have their friends over at the pool, they want to do the sprinkler in the backyard, they want to, you know, roast marshmallows on our fire pit, like watch the stars. Those are the type of things that they remember. They don't have to cost a lot of money, they don't? And so then I make sure that we can weave those things into our summer plans too.
Speaker 1:I love integrating your kids into the vision for your summer because, like you said, their ideas may be much cheaper than yours, much simpler than you were imagining, right, and so it can take care of that overwhelm by going. Instead of me trying to plan out my kids entire summer, why don't I start with them Now? If they come up with the wild ideas of, like we're going to go to Disney, then we're going to go to Yellowstone and we're going to travel to Europe, you might have to put the kibosh on that right.
Speaker 1:But they may really have some very simple neighborhood type activities that are very doable. That really would bring them joy. So sometimes I think we as parents can overthink it. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And our girls too. They like to have little businesses in the summer, like things I can just do at home and like stay you know busy with. And so one daughter wants to run a lemonade and popsicle stand. That's going to be her business. And the other is making jewelry out of like junk. She calls it junk jewelry, so she has like pop tabs and safety pins and she's making these cool earrings out of them, and so I think that that's the type of stuff they want to do. They want to be at home and they want to be, you know, making money in their little businesses, but to just have that space to create too.
Speaker 1:That's so sweet and I think too. You know there are parents of all different situations and you know lifestyles that are listening to this right. Some parents, you know, are working from home, some parents are having to find care for their kids, you know, some are stay-at-home moms, and so there's like every family has a different dynamic. But I like the idea, I think it fits for every family that if your kids are at home, you know, even on the weekends, you could help them with some creative, fun things that are not screen-based activities, like you know, making some jewelry or selling art or setting up their lemonade stand, like three days a week, you know, or on the weekends that's a fun thing. Or even like a garage sale, having a little garage sale right, they can declutter and sell some of their stuff I love that idea, yeah, and they get excited about it and that's.
Speaker 2:That's fun energy you know to have in the house. Your kids are excited about these projects and, um, you know that kind of can spread to everyone. And then I like to think of what I want to do too during the summer. Like I have fun things, like I love to go strawberry picking with our family, blueberry picking. I like to go to the farmer's markets on Saturday.
Speaker 2:So I just make sure that, well, actually what I do is I make something called a fulfillment list and I have daily, weekly and monthly ideas of things that I like to do. And so daily it might be something like sit down and read a book with our kids for I don't know, five or 10 minutes or longer, but I put that on my schedule and then I take that as seriously as a work commitment or a doctor's appointment. Like that is a serious commitment. That is something that I know is going to make me feel fulfilled when I do it. And then a weekly thing would be like the farmer's market, and then maybe a monthly thing would be a baseball game with the family. We, like the Kansas City Royals, are in Kansas City and so we love to go, you know, maybe once a month to a game. So those things that you can have on your schedule to look forward to can really change your mood during the summer. It can bring, it can make sure that you get those memories in your plans too.
Speaker 1:Yes, I love this so much because I think as a parent, I know I've experienced this as a working mom is just feeling guilty, like I don't have an intentional connection that I'm doing every day. So you talked about a fulfillment list what is going to fulfill my needs this summer in terms of connection with my family? And then breaking it down daily, weekly and monthly and, like you said, five minutes or 10 minutes of a read aloud right Every day with your kids. They love that. They love to know that you're going to show up for them, that they can count on that activity each day, and then you can kind of go. Hey, I feel good that I followed through on my commitment and it was a small one that was doable, that I could keep up all summer.
Speaker 2:Right, and that does. If you are having that guilt of wanting to connect with your kids, that does shift you out of that because you're like no, I am being proactive about this and I am connecting with my kids the way I want to.
Speaker 1:Yes, oh, I love that. And then the weekly like what's maybe something we want to do once a week? You're getting me thinking here, girl, because I'm thinking. I love our back patio. We put our summer furniture out and we have our table out there, and so once a week in the summer we love to have brunch after church out on our patio, right? So we make a big, big brunch, so we fill our bellies. On Sundays we don't eat again until dinner and like we just spend time outside, and if our neighbors see us and want to come over for a little while, then we do that. So that's a fun weekly thing. Or maybe fire pit, like you said, or marshmallow roasting, something that you can count on as like a weekly ritual with your family.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that idea of the brunch and having those things to look forward to. We like to spend time on our back patio too in the morning. I like to kind of have a routine, but not like a really strict routine. It's not like 8 am you're brushing your teeth Nothing like that for a suburb on days that I'm not working. It's more that we can go outside and eat breakfast slowly, you know, and just get outside first before it gets too hot.
Speaker 2:I really like that to get outside in the morning first and then come back in and do some reading and kids can play. And then I also like having some tidying routines in our home because, let's be honest, when we have more people in our home during the summer, more things get shuffled around in your space, and so I like to have these routines in place. Right after lunch, we do a reset of the main living areas. Right after lunch, we do a reset of the main living areas. Right after dinner, we do a reset of the main living areas, because everyone is a team and they can all help, and then that's going to help also feel that calm in your home too, because your stuff isn't everywhere.
Speaker 1:Ooh, I love that idea because I'm usually thinking like you do a major overhaul on Saturdays, but that we feel so heavy and like a waste of three hours you know, not a waste of three hours, but just like it could be done differently. And so you're talking about doing a little reset of the main area right after lunch and right after dinner. Like that seems like much more reasonable and something that conditions them also, on a daily basis, to pick up after themselves, instead of just kind of, like you know, letting the vice take over and just being messy and leaving your stuff everywhere and then doing them big old cleanup once a week.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I like lunch and dinner because we're already together eating as a family. We're already all there and so we don't have to like try to round all the kids up and get them together to go tidy. They're just there. You can do. It Takes five or 10 minutes max and then go on to the next thing.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I love that you can give it a name the 10 minute tidy up. Right, you set the microwave timer or whatever and just go. Everybody pitch in, help up, let's tidy this place up.
Speaker 2:Yep, let the kids choose a song, something fun like that, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yes, so so good. Well, in terms of, like summer clutter, right, like the swimsuits, the towels, all of the things that summer brings, sunscreen and goggles, and sunglasses, and bicycles and all that stuff, how do you manage kind of the inevitable clutter? I mean, do you set up zones in your home? What do you do when it comes to changing seasons?
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, I have some systems that I use that I think help. In our entryway, underneath our bench, that is in our entryway, I have one basket for shoes and then one basket for kind of seasonal things. So in the winter it's the hats, the gloves, the mittens, all that stuff, and in the summer it's summer hats, caps, sunglasses, that type of stuff will go there in that seasonal basket. And then, as far as swimsuits, we have a swim bag that hangs in our garage on a hook and it's always ready to go when we want to go to the pool. We go to the pool a lot.
Speaker 2:We have a neighborhood pool which is so great, so we'll go there. Gosh, maybe not every day, but almost We'll get outside and go swim a little bit. So I always have that just hanging ready to go. And then, as far as, like sports equipment, I have been in our garage and that's where the kids keep all the balls, the gloves, any of that type of stuff. So just as long as everybody knows where everything goes and everything has a home, it seems to flow pretty well for us.
Speaker 1:I love that, having zones for things and then, like you said, a basket that you can switch out. Same basket, same piece of furniture, but you just swap out whatever supplies you need or accessories you need for that season. We did that a couple of years ago and I just opened the cupboard the other day and I was like, oh, it's time to dump out all of the you know hats and gloves that are overflowing these bins. First of all, declutter, get rid of some of them. We certainly don't need four pairs of gloves each. So before we stash them away for the winter, just give away what we don't need next year and then replace it with the items that we need for the summer. So that has really helped us too, because our kids know exactly where things go and if you find something on the floor you can kind of ask them hey, where does that belong? And they return it to the bin where it's supposed to go.
Speaker 2:Right, yep, and say, hey, this needs to go to its home. Just as simple as that. And they're like, oh yeah, you're right, it does, and then they'll put it where it goes.
Speaker 1:Usually, yes yes, Orderliness is like the cornerstone, I feel like, of many virtues, Because if you don't have order in your home whether that be your calendar or even prioritizing your relationships properly and then ordering your things it's very hard to grow in generosity and gratitude and respect and responsibility. So I like focusing our efforts and family life on order in the home. I think it's really really foundational for growing in the rest of those virtues that are so important for our kids to have when they leave home. So that's what I just love, what you're doing and the book that you wrote Declutter your Heart in your Home, like it's just, it's practical stuff that we can do with our kids and do it together. You mentioned being a team right, that we are a team, we're all doing these things and you expect yourself and your husband to do what you're asking your kids to do, and so it feels like a joint effort, a common goal. That's just part of your family, right? And your vision, your values.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it just becomes part of your family culture, it's just what you do and, yeah, it definitely leads to I think it's the foundation of virtue and just having that space in your home and then in your mind. I think there's a connection to if your outer world's cluttered, your inner world is cluttered and you're not really going to be able to focus on growing into the person that you're called to become.
Speaker 1:Yes, and that is the main thing here people that we are, you know, growing into the person that God called us to be, and that our kids have enough space in their minds and in their environments that they can contemplate this for themselves. Right, like what? What do I feel like God wants of me in my life? What is interesting to me? What are things that I find, you know, fascinating? And I found that, you know, the less stuff we have around our house, the more simply we live, the more I, as an adult, am able to contemplate those things for myself and for my kids.
Speaker 2:but the more creative my kids have become, yeah, absolutely, and I think along these lines, it's important for parents to realize too and I had to learn this that boredom is not bad. It's okay for our kids to be bored, and sometimes boredom lends to some of these deeper creative ideas and the space to grow that you mentioned. And so, yeah, boredom isn't bad. I think boredom has only been in our vocabulary, the English vocabulary, for like 100 years, because now we are so used to being entertained and before we weren't, but now we are and so, oh, I'm not entertained, I'm bored. Well, that's okay to be bored. I tell our kids that boredom is what happens right before you find something great to do.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that Boredom is what happens right before you find something great to do.
Speaker 2:That is so good. Right. So if they say they're bored, that is just fine. So, yeah, it does develop more creative thinking and more problem solving and just they can think outside the box to find things to do. And we need that space in our lives to then develop the foundation for stronger spiritual lives too, like you were mentioning.
Speaker 1:Let me ask you do you guys have any specific rules around, like play dates in the summer or activities that your kids pop up with and like hey, let's go to the such and such museum. Like that'd be great, let's do that this afternoon? Do you have any rules about like?
Speaker 2:you know, like spontaneous things that kind of come up. Yes, I think it really depends. I like to be, think I'm spontaneous and flexible and all that, but I think we always have to consider the whole family. You know, we've got a three-month-old right now and so it might not make sense that might be nap time, so we're not going to put one person's wishes ahead of the whole team's. It's got to work for everybody, really. And I like to tell our kids yes too. I like to be able to say yes to them. If there's something they want to do, then we can make that happen. But it might not be on your terms, it might not be right when you want it, that's okay, that is okay, Delayed gratification is a beautiful thing, right.
Speaker 1:That's virtue building in and of itself.
Speaker 1:To say, oh, I really want something and I can't have it for three more days, Right, Like that's a really awesome thing.
Speaker 1:We started a couple of years ago having sort of during our weekly family huddles that we have on Sundays, when it would come close to a new season whether it's back to school or summertime we just kind of sit down and talk in one of our meetings about just some general kind of rules for you know, that season.
Speaker 1:And one of the things that we talked about was like the 24 hour rule. If you want to do something, you want to have a friend over or you want to go a particular place, then we have to know about that 24 hours before we can do it. Because of just what you said because we have jobs, we, you know, we already have things on our calendar and we have to be thoughtful and discerning about what we do so that we don't end up kind of going down this path where all of a sudden, we're rushed, we're pressed for time, we're barking and nagging at each other and then our vision for the summer has just like disappeared because we tried to do too much and tried to kind of pack something in that wasn't planned.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that makes me think of a quote by an author named Courtney Carver. She says that doing more doesn't make you a better person, it makes you a tired person. And so I like to think of that sometimes, that not only will I be more tired, but the whole family will, if we press beyond what feels right, the right amount to do. So it's not about always doing more. It's about thinking of. We want to enjoy this time together and we want to not be overtired and overstimulated.
Speaker 1:Girl. I have to tell you that I'm the one that's like oh, but we could. We could run down to Cherry Creek State Park right now.
Speaker 2:I'm kind of like that too. To be honest, jordan, yes, I love to go do things.
Speaker 1:I know my husband's the one that's like whoa, whoa whoa that wasn't on the schedule. I get it.
Speaker 1:It sounds fun and I appreciate it so much I have to thank him for it, even though in the moment I'm like, oh, I feel a little deflated. It's what I need. So I love this compatibility, you know, as husband and wife, where it's like you could see that as a real, like you're just a buzzkill, you don't want us to do things fun, but it's like no, somebody has to watch the energy level of the family, you know, and kind of keep a particular mind about yes, it's good, but maybe not now, right?
Speaker 2:Exactly, yeah, yeah, and you'll enjoy each other so much more if you do it at the right time instead of just when it sounds fun. I've learned that too. Yes.
Speaker 1:I really like how you said. You know I like to have structure and routine in summer not so rigid, right, because summer is supposed to be a time of, you know, relaxation and the schedule does look different. If you have kids that are typically going to brick and mortar schools, then they don't have that sitting in a desk for eight hours, and so you do want them to enjoy and maybe sleep in a little bit. What do you guys do in terms of the evening routine, like, do you keep a pretty strict bedtime? Do you have a certain day of the week that you guys stay up later, or what do you guys do over there?
Speaker 2:Hmm, yeah, I think it kind of just changes every year based on the ages of our kids really, but usually we have a little bit later bedtime in the summer. Sunday night always seems like it's a little earlier though, just because my husband and I were usually going back. I am typically working, he is always working, and so we don't want it to get too late if we know we have to get up for something. So the weekends are later, but in general summer is a later bedtime for us and we like to be outside and we have so many fireflies where we live out in our backyard We'll catch the fireflies, watch the stars come out, so it's kind of a magical time to stay up a little bit later in the summer.
Speaker 1:Yes, that sounds fun. I remember catching fireflies when I would visit my grandparents. We'd put them in a jar and pretend that it's like our lantern you know, and so fun.
Speaker 1:Those are great summer memories.
Speaker 1:I like the idea too of just being like hey, sunday's kind of our, you know, our Sabbath it's our day of rest, it's our day of refreshment.
Speaker 1:We're not going out and doing a bunch of stuff on Sundays, going to the Costco running around like crazy. Instead we're going to go to bed a little earlier and like get prepped for the week. That's a good kind of anchor for your week is to say, hey, whatever happens during the week, sunday we're getting back to kind of our regular bedtime, kind of a quiet winding down process, and then everybody will jump into Monday a little bit, you know, with our eyes a little bit wider opened and ready to take on what's, whatever's coming our way. So that's that's really a good thing to think about is Sundays being being back to a little bit more of a routine. But also, I think one of the crazy things that, especially if you have little kids that I hear moms talking about, it's just like the light right At night. In the summer it stays light so much longer. So your kids are like when you're trying to put them to bed, they're like whining and nagging, they're like no, it's not bedtime and you're like.
Speaker 1:I know the sun is bright and it's 830, but it really is time for you to go to bed, so I invested in blackout curtains for my kids' rooms. You know, it's like make it dark in there people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that's great. A couple of our younger kiddos are actually sleeping in the basement right now, and so it is really dark down there, so that's a bonus for the earlier bedtimes in the summer. Or blackout curtains yeah, that's great.
Speaker 1:Yes, there's all kinds of challenges summer can bring. I mean, it gets, it gets bright early, it stays bright light late, and it's just, yeah, some of the things that we have to think about. Are there certain supplies that you're sure to like purchase ahead of time, um, to make summer a little bit more, um, like friendly to the family or like in terms of activities? What do you kind of prep for when it comes to summer in terms of buying things that you guys need?
Speaker 2:Well, mainly bug spray and sunscreen. Really that is all I can think of that I'm going to buy. I know I used to buy like all the bubbles and the sidewalk chalk and all that stuff, but you know, our neighbors have them. We just like to go outside and I find sometimes when we're outside we don't need all that stuff with us. We can go play in the mud, we can play with the sticks.
Speaker 2:My son just this week, he's really into building these little forts for I don't know grasshoppers with these sticks, and so he's just creating. And if I had the bubbles and the sidewalk chalk out there then I would be cleaning up and all that. And there's nothing wrong with that and that's okay to do, maybe every once in a while, but I don't need that all the time. And he can just use what is out there in our backyard and be entertained for a long time. And our daughter can too. She was making mud pies yesterday with her, making these little balls of mud and I don't know mud shapes mud pies. So there's a lot of stuff out there that the kids can already play with.
Speaker 1:And I just got a visual of being that like Martha versus Mary. Right, I can be a Martha where I am like, okay, here's all the things, here's all the choices that you have. We've got bubbles, we've got water balloons, we have water. And even when the kids' friends come over, you could sort of overwhelm them with so many choices. And I think about myself this is why I go to Chipotle versus like the Chinese restaurant, because Chipotle has like three choices. I'm like, okay, I've got some boundaries here, but I have options. I can choose how much I want on there or whatever. That's great, but I don't want all the decisions right, like 17 pages of options at the at the restaurant.
Speaker 1:So I think that reminded me how you said, like mud pies and like stick forts. If we, the parent, will agree, agree just not to overwhelm ourselves or our kids with consumable stuff that we have to spend money on and just instead go outside with them and facilitate this natural play out in the environment and then sit back and just let them kind of poke around maybe, you know, be mad that they don't have, you know, the things they had last summer for a while and then get bored and then all of a sudden pick up the sticks and start poking around the grasshoppers, the ants, the fort that they're making, the tree that they could climb. It's like, oh, that is really what we want, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and they're not really going to know how to do that unless we give them that space to try that, to experiment with that, to maybe get mad, to get frustrated because they don't have the toys or the bubbles and all that. But they're going to then realize that there's a lot that they can do out there. But they won't know that unless they have that opportunity, if they're overwhelmed with choices, they're not going to go to that more creative, problem solving type of play.
Speaker 1:And for activities too. For the day, right. Do you want to go swimming, or should we go on a short hike Right? Just like the two choices that are acceptable to you, the parent.
Speaker 2:Exactly, yeah, decision fatigue is real for us as a parent, for our kids. So, yes, keeping it simple, a couple ideas that you're good with both of them, and then give them that freedom to choose. That gives them the feeling that they have control too, which we need to give our kids that opportunity.
Speaker 1:Yes, oh, when you said decision fatigue, it reminded me of just the idea of kind of recapping what you're going to do the next day with your kids right before they go to bed. Right, hey, tomorrow's Tuesday, because in the summer it seems like people are like what day is it? Is it the weekend every day? Tomorrow's Tuesday, remember? We're going to go to the butterfly pavilion and so we've got to make sure that, once you get up, we do the things that we need to do before we head off to the butterfly pavilion. So what is that? And then they kind of oh, I got to get dressed, I have to make my bed, I have to tidy up and eat breakfast and clean up and brush my teeth. I'm always like, yes, brush the teeth.
Speaker 2:This is a thing in our house Apparently.
Speaker 1:It's common everywhere. I feel that, yes, brush the teeth, brush the teeth, brush the teeth.
Speaker 1:Signs everywhere brush your teeth. But yeah, just recapping the night before, because when you wake up in the morning you don't want to start your day with decision fatigue that overwhelm that you wake up with going oh what are we doing today? What are my kids going to bombard me with? It's like no, if you kind of plan the night before, do a little recap, remind them these are the options and that's it, then it sets you up for a much more peaceful day and more memories to enjoy.
Speaker 2:I feel like yeah, and for yourself too. Then you're like okay, we're all on the same page here, I know what I need to be doing to get everybody ready. They know what they need to be doing and things just flow so much better. I love that idea, and your kids behave better too when they know what to expect.
Speaker 1:I think oh completely they do, otherwise they're nipping at each other and everybody's just sort of in this state of confusion, like it seems like we're supposed to be doing something, but I don't. Nobody's directing us anywhere. And so then you, as the parent I feel this anyway I start getting agitated, because I'm going how long have you been on the TV? And they're like well, I don't know.
Speaker 1:And they really don't know, they don't have a real concept of time. If you let them loose on screens or whatever, they just keep the episodes keep rolling. Whatever they're doing, just keeps on playing. Maybe you're working or whatever and then everybody's really upset with each other and that, just that's a way to really throw a wrench into a peaceful summer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and even if you're not going anywhere, even if you just want your kids to play outside in the morning, you can prep that the night before. Hey, in the morning, when we wake up, we're going to eat breakfast outside and then play outside. So what do you need to do to get ready for that?
Speaker 1:And so everybody can know, okay, in the morning we're going outside. Yes, yes, I love this idea of simplifying our summer. Is there anything else that you feel like our listeners need to hear about? Just simplifying your summer and just living with more peace and joy this summer?
Speaker 2:I wonder if it would help to talk about kids' artwork at all. I know that our kids do a ton of art. We don't have a lot of toys, but they really, really like art and so I think you need a system for that to keep it from overwhelming your house, because it really can if you're keeping everything. So I just like the idea of working with our kids right away after they've created something and asking them, like, is this ta-da or ta-dump? Like, is this something you really love? Is it something you really want to keep? And usually they do want to keep it. But just this idea of asking them and planting the seed that, okay, I don't need to keep everything, is helpful. So if they do want to keep it, then what I do is I have like a paper basket under a low kitchen cabinet. All the papers go there, their art goes there. I'm like, okay, we'll put it in a special paper spot for a while and then, once that basket's full, we revisit it, and then they have to make the real decision do you want to keep this or not? We can only keep what fits in the basket. If they do, then they all have portfolios, and so I think this would be a helpful tool for parents. Have an art portfolio, just like a binder three ring binder for your kids and then their very favorite pieces go in that and then put it like in a book basket in their room or something and they can look through that artwork. But again, there's a boundary they can only keep what stays in that portfolio. So if a new piece that they love is going to be put in it, one that they don't love anymore comes out.
Speaker 2:So that's how we manage the artwork and I think it's just important for parents too to think about like don't keep all this artwork for your kids.
Speaker 2:Like when they're 35, they're not going to want their kindergarten self portrait they're really not. We talked about this a little bit on our last conversation, but that you're keeping that type of stuff for yourself, so not for your kids. You really love it. What I like to do is take a picture of the artwork and then I make a photo book at the end of each year for our family and I can just include art pages, pictures of artwork, in the back of the photo book. So when my son's 35, he might like to come and look at the family photo album and see that little picture that he drew for a second, like, oh, that was nice, but he's not going to want that actual thing. So I think that it's helpful, if you're doing a lot of art, to have a plan for what are you going to do with all that paper, so your house is not overrun with piles of kids' artwork.
Speaker 1:Yes, and one of the things you mentioned in episode 146 is just how I think your oldest daughter helps with regular decluttering maintenance, right. So once you kind of minimize things in your home, then having a regular routine of minimizing things that end up starting to collect again right. And so the idea of having that bin that you put the artwork in if kids are like, oh, I really want to keep this right now that you just revisit it and make another decision, you know, 30 days down the road.
Speaker 2:Because they're not attached to it. Yeah, they're not attached to it 30 days later, Like they are right away. But you can loosen that attachment with time. That's why I use that system. I've really found that, like 30 days later they're like oh, I don't care about that anymore.
Speaker 1:So yeah, yes, and I think, as parents, since I've started decluttering my own home and, with my kids, their rooms, I have really recognized this internal like are you sure you want to get rid of that? And I'm going Jordan, this is not like, like just try to avoid the urge to say that you might be, thinking in your mind like I would love for you to keep that. But if they want to junk it and trash it, then allow them to.
Speaker 2:Yep, take a picture of it and allow them to.
Speaker 1:Yes, because even if they miss it, then that later that is a lesson for them to be more discerning about what they get rid of right, Yep, yep absolutely. Woo, this is so good. I'm telling you. We have been to the ARC eight times in the past, I think six weeks. Wow With carloads of stuff.
Speaker 2:That is amazing.
Speaker 1:Since our last interview. Yes, I'm telling you you inspired me and I just had a weekend where I sat on the patio for like two hours. We went out on a hike as a family where we had to actually drive quite a ways. Go on the hike. Come back, we took a nap and I remember sitting in my living room thinking I am not managing stuff anymore, I am enjoying my time. This is like amazing.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:Exactly that's what happens. I mean, there's one study that says that you reduce the amount of time spent on housework by 40% when you declutter your home. So if you're spending 10 hours declutter or spend our 10 hours maintaining or cleaning your home, you get four of those back simply by having less stuff. So that's what you're talking about. It's that free time to sit on the porch outside for two hours, because you're not just needing to clean all the time or put stuff away or pick stuff up.
Speaker 1:Yes. So I have to encourage you all please get a copy of Julia's book Declutter your Heart and your Home how a Minimalist Life Yields Maximum Joy. We have that linked in our show notes here it and subscribe for our weekly newsletter, because we always send out links to our podcast guests' website and their books or their products, so that you can not only hear this stuff but you can also refer back to your email on how to find out more about our guests and what they have to offer. But a wonderful book.
Speaker 1:A matter of fact, if you guys will rate and review our podcast on Apple and Spotify here, in, let's say, like 30 days, we will gather up all the names of people who have reviewed our podcast and we will enter everybody into a drawing and we'll draw somebody's name to win a free copy of our signed copy of Julia's Declutter your Heart in your Home book. So be sure to put your first name, last name or last initial and then just send us an email to let us know that you left a review. That way we have your contact information. Just email hello at familiesofcharactercom and then we'll be sure to enter you into that drawing. Julia, thanks for being with us. Again, thanks for the signed copy of this book. Thank you for helping us think of ways to simplify our summer so that we can really yield an awesome, joyful, memorable summer with our kids this year.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for having me on again, Jordan. It's always fun talking with you.
Speaker 1:Yes, thank you, julia. Guys, go to her website. She has a great blog. It's called richinwhatmatterscom. So we know that when we are intentional and we discern our values as a family and really think about the critical few things that matter the most in our marriage, family life and our faith life, that helps us to be able to say no to all those distracting things that might take us off course and to say yes to a life that is rich in what matters. So again, thank you, julia. Thanks so much. Yes, guys, I'll catch you on another episode of our show real soon. If you found this helpful, please share it with your spouse first and then have a conversation with them and also share it with any friends in your circle. You help us to spread our message far and wide and help us increase our downloads. So be sure to rate and review and then share this with friends in your network. Take care, guys, and we'll catch you soon.
