Ep. #163: The Back-to-School Game Changer to Bring Calm from Chaos

The Family Huddle is a simple yet powerful 20-minute weekly family meeting that can transform household chaos into calm and share the mental load that often falls on one parent. Studies show families who meet regularly report better communication, fewer behavioral issues, and children who are more emotionally secure and less likely to engage in risky behaviors.

In this episode, we discuss:
• A simple, repeatable format: prayer, calendar review, family goal, family cheer
• Creates a space for connection, predictability and problem-solving as a team
• Gives kids a sense of belonging and ownership in family life
• Starts building leadership skills through participation in planning

Check out our Huddle Up Digital Bundle in our Families of Character shop for a more robust version of the family huddle, complete with videos and printables.

Please share this episode with someone in your network, and give us a rating and review on Apple or Spotify to help our show move to the top of the charts for parenting podcasts.

Chapters

• 0:58 Parenting in the Midst of Chaos
• 1:45 Communication: The MVP of Household Survival
• 4:03 The Power of Family Huddles
• 6:57 Four Simple Steps for Effective Huddles
• 10:40 Our First Huddle Was a Trainwreck
• 12:50 Start Small, Make it Mighty

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:29

Anyone else ever try to have a serious conversation in the car while someone in the backseat is literally licking the window? Yeah, same. I once tried to explain our entire week's schedule, from gymnastics and wrestling practices to that random wear blue for school spirit day. Random wear blue for school spirit day, all while driving through traffic, dodging some rogue juice box and then wondering if I'd remembered to pack the lunches. Spoiler alert, I forgot the lunches.

Speaker 1: 1:06

Welcome back to the Families of Character show. I'm your host, jordan Langdon. I'm a parent coach and a fellow navigator of life's daily chaos. Today we're going to talk about a tiny but mighty habit that can seriously change the tone in your home the family huddle, aka your weekly family meeting. And listen, this isn't about adding another thing to your list. It's about bringing peace to the list and, guess what, it might even reduce the number of things on your list. So stay tuned to the end.

Speaker 1: 1:56

Now let's talk about the real MVP of household survival. Hands down, guys, it's communication. And yet it's often the first thing to break down when life ramps up, especially during the back to school season. Everyone's going in different directions new classes, supply lists, sports tryouts, pta emails, lost water bottles. Oh, another lost water bottle. If you feel like you're holding 73 tabs open in your brain, guess what? You are not alone. Here's the thing In many families, one person, usually mom, carries the mental load, that invisible weight of remembering who has library books due, who needs a snack packed for after school, choir rehearsal and who still hasn't returned that field trip permission slip.

Speaker 1: 3:04

This kind of pressure builds up over time when you're shouldering the mental load of the family calendar, all the activities and events that everyone in the family must participate in or we think must participate in. And guess what? That pressure that builds up? It doesn't just affect us, it affects the entire household. It affects the entire household. It makes us snappy, scattered and truly less emotionally available. It drives division between husbands and wives and it makes kids dependent on us, the parent, for information. This is not the way we want to live in family life. What if you could share the mental load instead? What if everyone in the family knew what was happening in the upcoming week and took ownership of it? Even little kids are capable of this.

Speaker 1: 4:13

Well, that's where the family huddle comes in. Studies show that families who meet regularly, even for just 15 to 20 minutes a week, report better communication and fewer behavioral issues. They also have children who are more emotionally secure and less likely to engage in risky behaviors. That was one of Harvard's making caring common project studies. Well, why is this right? Because family meetings create a space for connection, predictability and problem solving as a team. Y'all family life was not meant to feel like a team of one.

Speaker 1: 5:05

Having a weekly family huddle, that weekly connection, builds trust and confidence, not just in your kids, but in you as the parent. You're showing your kids what it looks like to lead with order, confidence and intention. And maybe you're thinking, yeah, but that sounds like something like Pinterest. Moms do right after they make quinoa muffins. Okay, no, family huddles are for real families with real chaos. This isn't a boardroom. It's not a boardroom meeting. No one's handing out spreadsheets or flow charts, and you don't need a whiteboard or a theme song although, let's be honest, I do love a good theme song. We like let's get down, let's get down to business. You just need 20 minutes, some snacks maybe and a willingness to show up. That's the truth about it. In fact, the messier your life feels, the more your family probably needs this. And let me tell you, it's not about perfection, it's just about progress and direction.

Speaker 1: 6:25

So here's how the family huddle works. This is the simple, repeatable format we teach here at Families of Character. First, just start with prayer. Start by simply inviting God in. Just start with prayer. Start by simply inviting God in A short prayer of thanks or a moment of quiet sets the tone for your family. Second, you're just going to review the calendar. You're going to post the calendar where everyone can see it as you're talking and talk through the week ahead. Who has what what's coming up? And get it all out there School events, sports, dinner plans, meetings that you may have as a parent when you're gonna go to church. Right, talk through what's happening every day on the family calendar for the upcoming week.

Speaker 1: 7:18

Third, you can pick a family goal. Right, we are trying to be a united team and when the whole team works together on one common goal, it moves the family forward. So, just pick one focus for the week. Maybe it's hey guys, do you think we should work on eating dinner together three times this week? Or maybe the goal is that everyone puts their shoes away without a reminder? Right, just keep it simple. Right, small goals but a big impact. And again, if you're asking your kids to do it. You want to do this goal, too, with them.

Speaker 1: 7:59

This shows family unity. It shows that we are part of this team and we're all working together to build character in ourselves and then finally end with a family cheer. Every good team has a great family cheer or chant, right? This is a great way to end your meetings with a fun ritual, a chant, a high five or the world's cheesiest group hug. Whatever you decide to do, it's your family, it's going to reinforce unity, it's playful and it sticks. Guys, this isn't a performance, it's a practice, and it's one that builds unity, trust and a sense of belonging. And I'm telling you with certainty, as a licensed clinical social worker, a therapist for over 20 years belonging is one of the most powerful gifts we can give our children.

Speaker 1: 9:07

And PS, here's a pro tip Don't you, the parent, do all the talking In your family huddle. Let your kids share their wins, their worries and what they're looking forward to. Ask them questions in your huddle like what's one thing you're excited about this week? Is there anything that you're nervous about? How can we help each other out? These open-ended questions foster communication and open-ended conversations that just reap great benefits over time. The more your kids feel heard, the more they will buy into your family vision. And when they help choose the family goal, they're way more likely to follow through on it. So empower them to take part in the planning and problem solving. That's leadership training right there, designed as a simple family huddle.

Speaker 1: 10:11

Okay, I gotta be. I gotta be real honest with you. Our first family huddle was a total train wreck. It was First family huddle was a total train wreck. It was Somebody cried. I was feeling resentful towards everyone because I was exhausted from doing everything for everyone. That mental load had weighed on me so much that I was kind of coming into the family huddle that first family meeting just with just kind of a chip on my shoulder Right, with just kind of a chip on my shoulder right. And then my husband was trying to lead the huddle, like I had asked him to, but I kept interrupting him and trying to take the reins. Yep, it was a total train wreck, but listen, that did not stop us. We committed to keeping these going every single week, knowing that if we kept the habit and then just gave ourselves some grace, just doing what we were capable of in that moment, that it would pay off and friends, I'm here to tell you that it has Over 300 family meetings later, 300 family meetings later. We never want them to end.

Speaker 1: 11:22

This is something that our kids benefit from and talk about and have talked about on the podcast before. These family huddles are the glue that holds our week together, these little 20-minute meetups that we have, where we show up for each other as Team Langdon. They've become sacred. So if your first attempt or is like loud or ends up in somebody's storming off congrats, you're normal. Okay, just keep showing up.

Speaker 1: 12:01

If you're feeling overwhelmed by this back to school hustle and bustle, remember you're not failing. You're just full right, you're full. You're full of responsibility. You're just full right, you're full. You're full of responsibility, love and probably a little bit of fear. But here's your invitation Don't carry it all alone. Your goal is not to be a team of one. Invite your family in, share the load and build the habit.

Speaker 1: 12:33

The family huddle might feel small, but it's mighty. It's the one place each week where your people pause, connect and remember that you're in this together and that togetherness that's what brings the chaos to calm. So don't overthink this. Just start, even if the dog eats the calendar and someone's still licking the window. You've planted a seed of peace. Let God grow that seed. Ease, let God grow that seed.

Speaker 1: 13:19

And if you'd like a more robust version of the family huddle, complete with a few videos that I recorded and printables that you can use inside your family huddle, check out our Huddle Up digital bundle in our shop at familiesofcharactercom.

Speaker 1: 13:32

Listen, you've got this and, fred, if you would do us a favor and share this episode with someone in your network, we would sure appreciate it. And if you could give us a rating and review on Apple or Spotify, this helps our show move to the top of the charts for parenting podcasts. All you have to do is just open the podcast app on your phone or computer, find the name of our show the Families of Character show and then scroll down past the episodes to the ratings and reviews section. And then that's where you can tap on the star rating to select a rating from one to five stars, and then under that star rating, there's a write a review button. If you just click that button and write whatever you'd like about our show, whatever it is that our show blesses you with, we would sure appreciate it. Thank you so much for your support. We are always in your corner. So until next time, stay intentional, stay playful and lead your team with love. I'll catch you on another episode of our show real soon. Take care and God bless.