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The Families of Character Show
Ep. #167: Developing a Family Emergency Readiness Plan featuring Jimmy Graham of Able Shepherd
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What would you do if violence erupted while your family was having a picnic in the park? Do your children know what to do in an emergency, or would panic take over? These aren't comfortable questions, but they're essential ones in today's world.
Former Navy SEAL Jimmy Graham shares his expertise on family emergency preparedness and the importance of having a coordinated plan that includes children. He explains how his military and CIA protection experience shapes his approach to family safety and community building. We speak about:
• Importance of having a family emergency plan where everyone knows their role
• How to train children to respond to danger without creating fear
• Building discernment in children so they can handle situations when parents aren't present
• Creating a culture of excellence and responsibility within the family
• How to model intervention when witnessing problematic behavior
Find more information about Jimmy Graham's family emergency readiness programs at AbleShepherd.com or check out their YouTube channel to see the heart of the organization.
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Welcome back parents.
Speaker 1:You know, one of the things I'm really passionate about as a parent is personal protection and planning as a family.
Speaker 1:There are so many unpredictable things that happen in our neighborhoods, schools, at a concert or even at a park, when you're just having a simple picnic with your family on a Sunday, and so I think it's vital that we have a plan as a family on how to protect ourselves if we're in a situation where there's violence and we need to get away.
Speaker 1:It's not enough just for us as parents to know the plan before our kids to be in the dark. So a few years ago, josh and I and our kids decided to participate in a program it's a family emergency readiness program that we found through the Able Shepherd program here in Denver, and we were so impressed by the way that they were able to walk us through different exercises and reality-based scenarios like real scenarios you'd be in as a family and do that with our kids with us in such a beautiful way. That really helped unite us and helped us to come up with a plan for how to escape a situation that could be potentially violent, and so that program was put on by our guest for today's show, jimmy Graham. So welcome to the show, jimmy.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, guys, jimmy's a veteran US Navy SEAL. He's also a former CIA protective officer and a fellow on community safety at the Centennial Institute and a fellow on community safety at the Centennial Institute. He's a nationally recognized expert on community safety and readiness, with an emphasis on shootings and violent encounters. And, jimmy, you are also a family man. Yeah, tell us a little bit about your family.
Speaker 2:That bio. You need to send the bios in and I make sure that when I send them in that's the highlight of that is also a you know, a loving father and a very proud husband.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:You know an amazing wife that has focused on four amazing children with me and I just love it. I love being a dad.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow. Well, ok, before you go into all the family stuff, because we're going there, this is a family show, we want to know all about it. But tell us a little bit about your experience as a Navy SEAL and how that kind of led to your passion for protection here in our community and starting this organization. Able Shepherd.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was kind of a handful as a young man. You know, the high school years later, high school in particular, and just had a lot of energy. You know the high school years later, high school in particular, and uh, just had a lot of energy. And I've learned since that if that energy isn't you know, isn't intentionally put somewhere, it'll default to somewhere bad and it was starting right. So I needed a challenge, I needed to grow up, I needed some structure. So I found a challenge, a big one, you know, and that was the U S Navy SEAL teams came in a little bit later than some of the guys, at about 21 years old, and I tell people, I grew up, I grew up in the SEAL teams, you know, just getting that structure and a paycheck and a vision. I was very blessed to make it through BUDS, which is basic underwater demolition, SEAL training, in one go, you know, not quitting, not getting hurt. A lot of good men get hurt and then that's why they can't make it and we're just very fortunate to not have that happen.
Speaker 2:Uh, it's buds class two, oh, eight back in 1996. Wow and uh, it's kind of a. It's a pay in advance. You know, organization If you pay and make it through buds and then you're the right cut for that um institution. They, they take care of one another, they take care of each other. That's good Goodness. So that was what? 15, how many years ago? Oh, I don't know. 1996 is when I showed up at uh, at buds.
Speaker 2:Uh went in on halloween into the navy in 1995 and uh, yeah, I did I did a little over eight years at seal, team eight, and deployed, um, you know, three times. It's a two-year cycle to where you would back then it was, you'd work up for a year and a half with the same guys and deploy for six months and then come back and do it over, and then do it over and become quite good at what sales are known for. So it was. It was. It was amazing. It was an amazing experience.
Speaker 1:While you were in the seals. Were you married? Did you have children at that time? I did not.
Speaker 2:Okay. So, um, the seal team deployments. I stayed reserves after my, you know, eight plus years active duty. I stayed active reserves which they would call you back in, send you down to South America. I had not worked South America, so that was kind of cool to see that Wow and uh and go down there and train folks down there and kind of watch the we say watch the back door, you know, train people to watch the Southern door, which I guess isn't a thing anymore, but anyways, we used to watch that pretty closely, our country, and it was a great experience there. I was recruited by the CIA to be a bodyguard trainer and then also do the job as a bodyguard GRS global response staff, and that's when I re-met my wife. We dated for like five minutes before I went off to the Navy and then re-met as adults and fell in love and started a family.
Speaker 1:That is awesome. So it was during your time as a protective officer that you reconnected with her Correct. Then you moved on from that position we stayed there for a while.
Speaker 2:I moved to uh. The family moved to montana. That was just dream chasing and I've just been called to montana so many times and I love it. I don't think montana's done with me, but uh somehow convinced her to do a destination wedding uh, north of Yellowstone, a little tiny town called Prey Montana.
Speaker 1:Chico.
Speaker 2:Hot Springs is what it's called, kind of rustic, beautiful little ranch, and that's where we got married and then convinced her to move to Montana, to Helena Montana, for just shy I think of four years. And then family brought us to Castle Rock, Colorado.
Speaker 1:Okay, so her family was here, or yours?
Speaker 2:Her sister, my sister-in-law and their family, and she wanted to raise the families together. And she said that one day. So I just put it on a calendar saying on this day we're moving. She said well, what if we don't sell the house? On this day we're moving. And the Lord worked it out and we got in a moving truck that day and moved. Unfortunately, we lost her sister to cancer.
Speaker 2:Several years ago, and then her family moved down to Arizona to get her treatment and ended up staying there. So that was kind of the reason we moved here. It's not here anymore, but it's a good fit for us here, Rocky Mountains are just my style.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, totally digging it, and what a special thing, you know, looking back, I suppose, after losing her to be here for a period of time with her before that happened, not knowing that that might've been in her future.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm working on a um a book. I've been working on it for a little bit and one of the chapters or sub chapters is called unfinished basements. Like we moved into their unfinished basement while we put all our stuff in storage so we could just find our feet and get a house and do all that Um, and then we're blessed with a couple of years with that family and then when she got sick, they moved into our unfinished basement and it was just. It was just special, it was a gift and we didn't know it yet.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow, and just just being led, allowing yourself to be led by the spirit, or just moved by what? Okay, when do you move to Colorado? Let's do it on this day. And and then just following each other and saying, yes, as a couple, okay, let's do this, and then wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and being led that you know she just amazing, that she supported my crazy dreams forever. And then you know, fellows, when you hear your wife say truly like I want this listen.
Speaker 1:Yes, and then take action Right. Wow, that's awesome. So then you started having kids here. You've raised them here in Colorado.
Speaker 2:We had a little girl in Virginia. Okay, then we moved to Montana and we had another little girl, and then we moved here and then had a little boy and then, surprise, another little girl. And they're just, they're awesome. Three girls and a boy, yeah, Wow, and now the oldest is 15. So driving permit and all that. But reinforcements just showed up, right?
Speaker 2:And we got a 13 year old. So now it's like they just they're very good at, you know, at, at, at raising the boy. I tell him, hey, I'm raising a man, and they're helping, like I'll look over and say I'm leaving, hey, you're the man of the house. And he's like, yes, sir. And I look over to Rebecca and she goes. I got him, Like you know, she knows who's in charge, but she's going to let him feel Totally.
Speaker 1:It's so good, that's so good. I feel like we need more of that, you know, in our families is just allowing kind of those next level responsibilities and trusting them in that right. You train them and then you trust them to do it.
Speaker 2:Right, right, and then could they replicate it. You know, just talking about the training thing, there's one thing to check a box, there's another thing to have. You know, can they replicate it without you there? Yes, right. And then my daughter's just just amazing discernment. And she, there's no doubt in my mind, like when she was a little kid, she was that one where the teachers would say like, hey, if there's some kind of emergency or something, I'm like, I believe you Cause, like it's borderline bossy, right, like. But when you need somebody to take charge, she's the one.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And all the kids aren't like that and they haven't grown into that yet, but she is, and usually there's a kid in that class and it honors them to give them that kind of responsibility.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I love the word honor, because it's true, you know, and they get such pride about themselves when they're able to take care of a situation, especially young men, and it's just something that we have to nurture in them, you know, so they'll be ready.
Speaker 2:There was another young man that was a good buddy of mine, his son, and we kind of pulled him out of class and said hey, uh, you know, with permission out of the school, all that stuff. And they were um, you know, if, if we need to get kids to safety and the parent and the teachers can't do it, we need you. And we took him for a walk and said this is the reunification point, this is how you go, this is plan A, down the street, but if there's a threat, don't go down the street, because if there's a vehicle involved it could be a weapon. Go this way. And it did. It lifted him up and said can we count on you for that?
Speaker 1:And he's like, yes, sir your kids go, so you have participated with that school and preparing them in case of an active shooter situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely Every. Every school they've been to, and that was a previous Christian school. Right now they're at a charter school. Same thing we're in there and we, we do.
Speaker 2:Um, you know, it's funny that the students actually coordinated this for two years in a row where they asked if I would come in for PE and do a self-defense type class and they're laughing and it's fun and I'm throwing dodgeballs and they're learning how to block them and you know, in case somebody took a swipe at their face, you know like punching, but you just teach them a foundational thing where they're all kind of laughing, breaking a sweat and doing some physical activity and they love it. You know it's like it's all training. Does it have to be regimented Like major pain? You know, like this military kind of thing. It's like, hey, you know, my kids have been training since they were, you know, hip high.
Speaker 2:Um, and it's been fun. It's been a little through form of exercise and all that kind of stuff. Um, and like we do a thing called link to me that you know about. You know it's like you link to me and they'll touch me pockets, belt, elbow, whatever, and we've been doing it since they were little, crossing parking lots and we have like, okay, yeah, that has to be built.
Speaker 1:That's right. So your kids all know exactly what to do when you say a certain command or yes. Yes, they're, they're moving and they, they move in a certain direction. They, they know who to link to in the line and and which way to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, within seconds, it would. They would. They would be physically touching myself or Rachel to buy us a second to put a plan together. We'd be moving as a family, not just like you look up and everybody spreads to the four winds. Not going to happen, why? Cause we trained them Otherwise. We had a conversation. We've been doing things in a parking lot. Now the parking lots are there and get hit by a car, but what they're really learning is a thing called linking. That we taught CIA personnel, like if you get scared and something blows up or somebody shoots or whatever, get behind me and touch my shoulders because I need to be messing with my gun or whatever. Right, I need both hands.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:I tell people you know, jokingly that Whitney Houston, kevin Costner bodyguard movie where you're like carrying a woman and fighting a dude, that's not a thing, right? You need your hand, so you're going to need to have your hands accessible and be a hundred percent. But you are accountable. So if I look over and they're they're they're linked onto Rachel and she's moving them to safety, I'm going to be on the line between what we call package and the greatest threat. So there's the threat. There's my family. I'm standing between them until we figure out that next plan.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's what I loved about that, that family emergency readiness program. I mean. I remember we were all in this room and it was kind of this, you know, simulation. It felt really real. You know, like, hey, you're sitting at the table at Chili's and someone walks through the door and decides this is going to go down, right, what do you do? And you trained us exactly how to link onto Josh, you know, or me, if he's, if he's making a plan to, to help, to help protect us or anyone else in that situation.
Speaker 1:And then we go through the other rooms as if we're exiting the restaurant, you know, to get to the back door or whatever, and people are coming at us and we're, like, you know, fighting them and the kids. You would think that that would frighten children right to be put in a situation like that, children right To to be put in a situation like that. But the way you and your staff were just so gentle with us and use language that was understandable to our kids I think our youngest was um, seven at the time and a girl and um, they just they just didn't have any anxiety about it. As a matter of fact, I think they felt so much better afterwards because it was like, wow, we have a formulated plan, we know what to do, and so we have what we call a family huddle every Sunday at our house, and so it's usually about an hour long now Started out being maybe 10 minutes where we'd go over the calendar and just kind of get everybody communicating about the happenings of the family and making sure that we're talking about anything that's coming up, so that we can be, you know, aware and plan for this.
Speaker 1:Well, after that program, we started practicing our link on in that and, to be random, josh would just be like link on and then jump out of our chairs and you know, and out the front door. And so another thing that we experienced in that program was what I don't remember it wasn't live, but it must have been a video that you showed of a gentleman that was that had videotaped himself, um, with his children in their beds, right, and they were all practicing a fire drill, oh that was me, oh, that was you.
Speaker 2:Oh, that was your family. Yeah, they were so little, that was so awesome, and so you was your family.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they were so little, that was so awesome and so you were explaining in the video. Yeah, like everybody's in their beds now and you can see them in their beds. They had the blindfolds on. Yes, they had blindfolds on.
Speaker 2:Mom was out of town.
Speaker 1:It was awesome so cool, and so the whole idea was you know, if there's a fire at your house or something happens like, how are you going to get yourselves out? I mean, this is something that if your children go to school they learn how to do from their classroom. They practice it once or twice a year. But how many families honestly have a full fire escape plan in their homes and have communicated with neighbors down the street that, hey, can we come there if, If you know if our house is on fire, there's a threat? I was thinking we didn't even have one at that time, so we practiced it, and so when you came into the studio today, my husband and I were joking about how there's marks all over our screens here because, we, we, we dropped down after your, your class.
Speaker 1:We got the extendable ladders that you can throw out the window. We got tourniquets, you know, put them in our cars. We got all prepared and continue to practice. You know how do we do this as a family. It's just, I don't know what are kind of the statistics Do you know of, like, on average, how many families have a plan in place to escape their home?
Speaker 2:I don't know other than most don't, right? I don't know a statistic as far as a number. I just know that once that happens, it's it's, it's it's test time, right, it's test day. And what happens next? There's been preparation for it. So, example I go on a daddy daughter um camp out with my girls this year, right, and it was super cool, and it was, it was um, all these families. And we're standing there in shallow water Uh, the girls are in a little little deeper spot and I see one of the dads dive in like dives in. As soon as, I mean as soon as I see his feet come up, alarms start going off in my head. He stands up and he dove headfirst into a rock and he's gushing blood Right.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, um, I'm like, hey, come to me right now, walk to me. And I'm like I go into, like military, military, like walk to me now, cause he's about to fall over. It looks like he got clubbed. Uh, you know, his eyes are just not right. I'm like he can walk to me. He starts walking over there. It's real cold water. I'm okay, I'm like you're not okay, walk to me. But he's wet. He puts his hand up, feels it, and let he just pour. Be there, right, yes. And uh, another dad brings it, throws it to my daughter who's 13. And now it's kind of cool, Cause she's sitting there like dispensing what I need, and now it's pressure. I just run over and grab the dude's head and put direct pressure on it and then we get some stuff and then I you know I dress it wrap his head. Now we're off to the emergency room because we're really gonna you might have messed up your spine all this stuff and he's got a good three gouges one that's just nasty and then head rolled forward and two more.
Speaker 2:And I hear something from the girls that are like everybody's just kind of frozen yes mouths are open, eyes are big and I hear and this is just such a compliment, you know that as dad, sometimes just it's just gold. I hear my 15 year old. They're like what, why did he do that? What's what happens? Like it's everything, and she goes it's okay, my dad's got it. And I'm like oh, because I'm like I'm kind of like, oh, this is serious, yes, hope his neck and I'm just kind of in that mode and one daughter's sitting there dispensing medical equipment to me and the other one's like my dad's here, we're good guys and I'm like I don't know if we are cause it's next to me or whatever, but it was just, it was just awesome to hear you know that they feel safe and they're like hey, my dad's here.
Speaker 1:They trust that you've got this situation.
Speaker 2:There's even stuff in our truck. And why Cause of right now? We didn't plan on this. We're just hanging out at the Creek river and now there's a guy gushing out. Get in my truck right now, wet everything, go to the emergency room. You know, guys got this. Watch my kids. I'll take care of my kids and I'm off to the emergency room.
Speaker 1:From the mountains, right.
Speaker 2:So we've got to go find a hospital. Yes, and why? Because he needs it. People are like was? That military training. I'm like that guy needs a help training Like it's our job to responsibility, to take care of one another.
Speaker 1:Yes, I've heard you say that so many different times in interviews and that you're all about protecting people in general.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I, that was something that I learned about me. That kind of surprised me. I know this sounds weird, as I actually care about people. I don't know. You know, and you're like, well, who doesn't? I'm like a lot of people actually don't.
Speaker 2:Like last night I'm leaving church we just first Tuesday's thing at brave church and I'm rolling out and uh, um, a guy's just sitting there in a very dangerous spot on Hamden, going East right up the hill from our church, and he's just I don't know what's going on. So I circled back to find out and his car stopped and, um, I said, let's get you out of the road. So I put my truck in a much bigger truck with lights and all that kind of stuff. Um, you know, flashers push him out of the road. You know, mexican fellow that didn't speak a lot, I speak some Spanish but there's a young lady there and I was like, oh, I'm gonna go get him gas. He gave me like 15 bucks and they go. So get him off the road, pull up there. She pulls in 7-11. I go, ma'am, you know, I pull him behind.
Speaker 2:I'm like, do you mind if I handle this, is it? You know, young lady probably shouldn't be hanging out middle of the night, you're doing all this stuff by yourself, and I was like I can, I can do this. And she's like, oh, appreciate it, get him gas, come back out and buy a tank, do all this stuff and bring it back and help him out. Um, and it was a much bigger. It wasn't gas, it was a significant problem with his car. So he's calling his dad and all this other stuff. But you know, you're good, I'm good, whatever, but I, the number of guy, I just know he's in a spot, I'll get you a can and some gas and you're need some more gas, by the way. So take your money back and all that kind of stuff. But you know, uh, that that used to be the thing. If you ever go to like Canada I did a motorcycle ride, 12,000 mile motorcycle ride to honor a fallen seal buddy If you get up into the big country, like Alaska and Canada, everybody stops why? Cause there's nobody else coming.
Speaker 2:So they just they kind of they depend on each other, cause if I broke down I would need you bad. So you're broken down, so I got you and it's just a felt thing and we'd pull over for something no-transcript. So our motorcycle group carried the litter back up to the road for the volunteer fireman because they needed help. Couldn't do it, wow. So it's like that's, that's an old. We say this isn't a new thing, it's a very old thing.
Speaker 1:It is, we get back to.
Speaker 2:We've just been very comfortable, which is which is the goal. We should be in this lap of luxury. We are. You and I are ultra rich when you talk about globally you know, and we got comfortable and said nah, somebody else's job, it's like no, it's never been.
Speaker 1:That's right and and I'm a firm believer we were not created for comfort. That's right. We grow and we are our best. And we go to the next level when we are in a place of discomfort right, where we have to put our own passions and desires and our own, you know, comforts aside. Like man, you could have been home in bed right, or having a beer on the patio or something after after your church night, and he went, this little, still small voice just said you know, jimmy, you better just circle back. And he just tuned into that and just participated in the moment. We're a hundred percent there. And then, when that was over, then you went on your way. Yeah.
Speaker 2:We caught. You know, to me, shepherding my business, able shepherd that word shepherd means a lot. It means teacher, leader and protector, right? And how do you shepherd? I'm going, you're invited, I can't make you do anything, I'm just going to go do this thing. Everybody assumes everybody would expect or hope that somebody would protect, uh, would stop and help their wife and children on the side of the road. Then why aren't you doing it? Like, where's that person going to come from, right? So you got to model it and watch these little people go. That's, that's the right thing to do, you know? Or there won't be any, and that's not just side of the road stuff. That's, that's life. You know, it's like that. The guysve of mine Put the shopping cart back in the crib.
Speaker 1:Every time.
Speaker 2:I'm busy Like let the kid make a minimum wage, do that in the rain. It's like no, you borrowed that convenience. They provided for you. Return it. And then, it makes it a little bit easier for the next guy, and that concept instilled in a young person is the difference. It's the difference, right.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and it's the small things like that, right. We are kind of the decisions that we make in the small moments, yeah, and so it's so important. I love to hear that you're training your kids in this way, you're modeling for them this behavior, that, yes, if it takes an extra minute, do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's the right thing and it's small. People are like, hey, what's a big, significant thing we do? It's a million small things. Right it's. I've got a. I did a podcast called Graham family sayings, cause I've got them and it's good it's. I'm writing about this and I'll tell my kids, like simple things like, um, graham's, don't lie, cheat or steal. And they say, or litter Cause they know I hate litter, right, or litter. Or I'll say stay safe. And they repeat back stay dangerous. Or just, you know there's, there's hundreds of them, and they just they. They hear them all the time. And you know he's like, oh, this kid did that. And I'm like, um, I go. I just did this again yesterday. My son's talking about some kid that did something. I go well, are you in charge of him? He goes no, who are you in charge of? He says me. I go, what are you going to do? He says better.
Speaker 1:And we say that all the time it's like he can do on what you can change right, which is ourselves, and we can always be growing to do better. I love that Just just kind of putting that back on your kids. Now, when we spoke on the phone before this interview, you mentioned that there was something really cool. I thought it was really cool that you do with your kids every morning before you kind of all go your own separate ways and I wondered if you'd share that with us on this episode.
Speaker 2:I don't even remember what it is. Is it the car thing? The?
Speaker 1:little huddle up where you guys or maybe that was it the grand family sayings, where you say something to your kids and then they echo something back to you In the truck.
Speaker 2:You mean yes, because we do a bunch of stuff. I don't say I got to. I get to take my kids to school right. Monday, wednesday and Friday it is the baby, and then on Tuesday and Thursdays it's the older kids plus neighbor kids. We carpool from Castle Rock to Lone Tree but I get it's just a fun thing where I get in and I go, okay, sound off when you're buckled, and you'll hear Christian buckled, you know Cambria buckled, you know Rebecca buckled, sarah buckled, sarah buckled. And I go daddy buckled rolling, and now go wheels up and I mashed the gas Right.
Speaker 2:And it's funny, just from that protector world, even in the military, that understand that you know we would check out of GRS if your bodyguards and you're heading out into Iraq or Afghanistan or you know whatever, whatever. Um, you would call in on the radio and you would say, hey, we're rolling. And then you know, wheels up, we'd let the other vehicles know. You know rails up. We'd let the other vehicles know, hey, I'm leading out rolling, that I'll fall behind, and somebody would call the base, say, hey, we're rails up, and somebody would write that time on a board because they left at this time and we're expecting back on this time. You can't lose track of guys that are out in the field.
Speaker 2:That's right so that's where that comes from and it's just a fun thing that they absolutely know be kind to other people or you know, just whatever model, courage, be kind, whatever, uh. And they all kind of sign off and then I say I love you. I have to all of them, even not my kids. I'd be like love you, becca, have a great day. I love you, sarah, have a great day. They're like love you, dad. I'll say no, come over, give me a kiss, and then they go, but it's every just reminding them right every day. And then at night, every night, we do a thing that we've since called the promise and I tell them. You know they repeat after me I said I love you. They said I'm proud of you, you're a good girl, I love being your daddy what? And then I pray and I say it every single night because I need to. I get it. We're going to. They're going to grow up someday and I'm going to. It's going to hurt, but I'm going to go from being the authority to the influence. Right.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And they're going to make good decisions and probably bad decisions, and if there's that moment when they're sitting there on a curb and they've done something stupid, or maybe they drink too much or whatever, I needed to remember, no matter what, no matter what calling my dad.
Speaker 2:You know there's that image of God. Is it? I messed up? My dad's going to kill me or I messed up? I need to call my dad and I need B to come to their mind. I need to call my dad right now. He loves me, he's got more resources and he would be here in a second.
Speaker 1:Always forgiving.
Speaker 1:That's right Right, always loving, always forgiving. That's exactly what I was thinking of. What you talked about, I mean that evening routine, so important, you know. We talk about how there's like nine most important minutes of the day in a child's day and it's the first three minutes when they wake up in the morning. It's the first three minutes when they see you, when you pick them up from school, because they've been separated from you for the longest period of time eight hours or whatever and then the last three minutes before they go to sleep at night. And for you to be filling their, their minds and their hearts with such a message like that is just beautiful.
Speaker 2:That's fantastic. I haven't thought of it that way. That's good, yeah, nine minutes.
Speaker 1:Three, three and three, yeah, nine minutes Three, three and three.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know, and in public speaking, you know, this is a thing and that's pretty much what I do now. Part of what I do is they say people remember the first thing and the last thing you say, right. So you start strong, finish strong, content the middle and all that stuff, but the thing that sticks and that that would align with that. So it's good.
Speaker 1:Yes, I mean who wants to go into school? That's a and, just like we talked about at the beginning of the show you have no idea what could happen in the day. So you making those connections and those bonds with your kids, you know when you when you depart from each other and then you get back together.
Speaker 2:it's just vital, you know this you know it's popped in my head take pictures Like I was not a picture guy, really in the middle I've some. But um, I've been that guy unfortunately too many times, that scrounging through a Rubbermaid container because you got a phone call that you lost somebody right For whatever circumstances, because at that moment those photos become gold you know, so, whether it be young people, older people obviously there's older people in the program.
Speaker 2:There's really good friends of mine that, just just because of time and the age, I can be around forever, you know. So, when you're together and you do things, take pictures cause you're going to be scrambling for them on that day, uh, and documenting those memories of that thing you did you know, if you got it, you know like this new facility we're we're currently pursuing. We're going to decorate the uh, the decor that's going to be our community.
Speaker 2:You know it's like, isn't that you with your son when he was six? Like it is. What about that? Like the black and whites and this and that and the decor will be our community.
Speaker 1:I love that. Well, speaking of your community, I imagine you have a lot of followers and a lot of community members that are just on board to do kind of whatever Jimmy Graham and his posse are doing right now. So tell us what are some of the fun, exciting things that you guys are doing are doing right now. So tell us what are some of the fun, exciting things that you guys are doing you mentioned something about, like off-road vehicles in the mountains or something.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, it's so good, it's and this is something that I didn't plan it just kind of it's. It's like I think a lot of veterans get out of the military and they just look at what's available and they're like man, I can't find a fit for me. There's those spiritual gifts and callings, and I just couldn't find a thing, and I've talked to other vets like me neither. So I just settled for X and I really I tell people I would not have known to pray for this Like there wasn't, um, that spot, so I had to create it, meaning God created a space and it's exactly me, right?
Speaker 2:So, um, the thing that I say able shepherd is is there is a very real threat that is that is hunting our kids, right, and it's ultimately it's Satan, but in the form of people, because it manifests as people that the most innocent form of Jesus Christ is our children, both born and unborn, and they're under attack, not in the shadows like before, it's in the daylight. They're under attack and people are walking in to schools and hurting them. That needs to be addressed right now, like that needs to be efficient and effective, efficient and effective and it needs to be. Somebody's coming in seconds, not minutes, seconds, right. So we're very focused on the making that more efficient On that day. I don't care about that, maybe a child, about their history and their dad and I don't care. I don't care You're. You're a threat, you're hurting people. It's got to stop.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:But I do care, like on this day I don't care, but ultimately I do care. So how did kids get that broken where they're going to come in and shoot at mine. So we have to focus not on one or the other, but both simultaneously. So we are, yes, doing that better than anybody in the nation, and I'll take the Pepsi challenge all day long because my, my objective is safer kids, right, but this has already been created with tax dollars. Very effective to make people better with less time and money. Right, we need to get on that really quick. Simultaneously. How do you make stronger men? When I say men, women are invited, but it's been my calling to pursue the hearts of men, right? So I say I'm going, you're invited, and I'm going to take my son out on a motorcycle into those mountains for four days, and you're invited, and then five other families come and we get to model strength and I have a covenant agreement that is written out and it says something like this um, politics and religion, we can talk about them, but you're going to be respectful, right?
Speaker 2:Alcohol, check your alcohol. My kid won't see you drunk and neither will I even. They're not here and it's an adult thing. I don't. That's not what this is for your language. Just choose, choose adult words, no-transcript Right. And then people come and it's unbelievable. You know, we have these events with the just adult. Events might be nine days. They're called BDRs backcountry discovery routes. Our last one was insane. I mean broken collarbone. Eight of the 10 motorcycles didn't couldn't drive home. We're stuck in Utah. We had to hire a recovery team to go get two motorcycles out of the desert because trucks wouldn't make it back there. And, uh, and and. To sum it up in a word awesome, awesome. It was cause why we needed each other, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We, we literally knit, not like hey, like hey, I got your back. Take care of one another's our motto at work. Take care of one another. No, really, hike in and come get me because my collarbone's broken. Then hike back into the desert your motorcycle gear and ride my motorcycle three hours to get it to a trailer.
Speaker 1:I got you brother and you're smiling about it.
Speaker 2:I didn't plan on doing this all night, but I guess we're here and it makes you, hey, this is, this is real. You know. It's like we got sucked out of our little plastic bubble and castle rock. That was safe. And we're in the middle of my, my, uh, my nephew, 18, and my brother are stuck in Moab in the desert in the middle of the night and I'm like, all right, I'm going in.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:So we hired a dude with this crazy rock crawler Jeep and a trailer and I'm like can I come with you? He's like let's go.
Speaker 1:So that's what we do all night is.
Speaker 2:Just go get those guys out of there.
Speaker 1:How fun. So your community. Just like you said, I'm going, you're invited, that's right. Right Like, if you, if you want to come along on this adventure, you're welcome. Yeah, we, you agree with it. You abide by it or you stay home.
Speaker 2:That's right. The language is gone, by the way, it's like you know, and that's just a pet peeve of mine and, like I said, I'm not anybody's dad other than my kids. I'm not saying you can't curse, I'm just saying you can't do it. I pay the rent here and I do get to say what happens inside. You go out in the street and cuss to yourself if you want our 50s. Um, my mom loves you and I'm like I've never met your mom. I know, but you got me to stop cursing and I'm like I didn't do anything. Brother, you know, I just said you can't do it here, that's right because I know.
Speaker 2:But then it checked me and I really thought about it. I caught lost opportunity cost. You'll never know why you've never been invited to my home or why you've never met my kids. That's to tell you right. I'm like, well, I just can't have them hear that kind of stuff. I wouldn't do it on your kids, so you'd do it here, but not from my kids. I would call that double-minded. I don't even know what I'm talking to right now. It's kind of cowardly. And they go yes, it is, and then they tighten up.
Speaker 2:I get it, you throw a round or hit your thumb or something we all and we show grace at that point.
Speaker 1:but that's not where we want to be specific, we want to be able to communicate a message to somebody in a clear way, and when you muddle it up with curse words and you know, the level of respect comes down for you, I think, and then it's just kind of like wait, what's going on here? What are you really trying to say? Because there's a lot of emotion involved in something that maybe doesn't need all that.
Speaker 2:When it's disrespectful. Why do I have to have a conversation on the way home with my kids about your language? Cause that's what's going to happen. Hey dad, why was so-and-so using someone I'm like? And now we got to go down that road, yeah, and in my mind I'm like we're probably not coming back, you know, cause my job to present a good, healthy option to them, right? So it's like you know, and that's cool. I've actually probably better for it, and I've had other people saying you know, um, I appreciate that, you know, and okay, that's like, I'm not my thing. Man, I'm not here judging your life and condemning you to hell. I'm just saying, if this is going to be the atmosphere, we're going to find something better to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love it. We need strict boundaries and calling people to higher standards. That's really what the youth today and even adults I mean we crave. We want to be called to the highest level possible, right, Because we slip and we get lazy and and then to be around somebody that's like, oh, no, not here, it's kind of like oh, but then it's like, oh, this feels good it shouldn't be shameful, it should be like I am inviting you into excellence and when you do that, you're like this, feels better.
Speaker 2:You know, like even down it, you've walked in the street and you've heard somebody cussing. If I stopped you right there, your whole family said what do you think about that? Like I wish that wouldn't happen. You know, and then and all of a sudden, you start like separating from people. And other times, you know, I tell this to my kids. Sometimes I will separate from that, sometimes I will endure. You know that if it's, if it's for somebody else and it's a good friend of mine and they're going through it, and I'll tell them. I'll tell them I appreciate it, but sometimes I do endure it to pursue that person. But I'm not going to ask my kids to do that.
Speaker 1:They're just not equipped for it.
Speaker 2:Right so and my kids. What's beautiful is seeing this happen this week is, um, my, my girls. They're just beautiful, Like their mom. I just praise the Lord. And some kid was saying hey, can you not talk like that? If you're going to talk like that, go over there. And they do. And they're like, hey, can I come play with you again? Well, just talk, right. And they're like, okay, so they're doing it. They're like just kind of, and again, not in charge of you. But man, I'm trying to enjoy a game and I'm like what's up with this kid? He's like this tall, he's telling older kids like, hey, man, cool, there's ladies around here and I don't care to hear that, and it's, and they could, they could just keep on going. But okay, now I have to leave. I was wanting to hang out with you guys. It was cooler when he was here, Exactly.
Speaker 1:I think it's just honest and you're conditioning your kids to stand up for what's right and saying like this can be done in love, guys. You don't have to. You know, get in someone's face and ask them to stop being who they are right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know. But you can just say hey, you mind, you know trashing that language, or you know you might doing that somewhere else. Yeah, and I just don't see that with kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We're at the park and I'll do the same thing. I'll ask kids hey man, can you please not ride your bicycle down the slide? I mean, my kids are on bikes, so it's dangerous. You're an example to them. Sometimes they get upset or whatever and I'll just say, hey, why don't you guys go just ride somewhere else? And sometimes they'll give you a little flack or whatever. But I think it's important, as parents too, to to take a courageous stand and be bold and do it with love you know, I'm inviting you to do this.
Speaker 1:I'm not telling you you have to. I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do to you if you don't, but here's another option, and here's how your behavior is affecting the kids around here.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Just standing up to protect our kids and our kids see that.
Speaker 2:And I've done this before with with grown men, but then with kids as well. You got to read the room right and then use tactics that are appropriate for that. But I've I've said hey guys, I'm trying to raise some ladies over here. Can you help me out? Like the I don't care that hear that language. And they're like oh sorry, brother, you know, like that kind of thing, but you're just secundus optio, it's. It's a Latin for second option, because I was taught as a young man to just not not set down I don't think we need a class on this, but was modeled for me was pretend you didn't see it, like even something. Like you see somebody get assaulted or whatever. Just pretend you didn't see it. And then I'm going to feel like a coward later for not saying something or just go over there and clock the guy right.
Speaker 2:I've seen both of those throughout my life but nobody taught me the middle part, that second option, right, like how do you use intellect to say like, hey guys, and come over and just take all the steam out of the room and just be that model of in strength, not weakness? I see a lot of people I turn the other cheek.
Speaker 2:I'm like you don't really know how to do anything else, right, you're just gonna. But they try to sell it as strength and I'm like no, I don't think you're capable of. The other thing is why you did that right. So I think to be like meek would be the definition of meek would be I could do X, but I choose not to. I could come punch you out, but I'm not going to, because that's not the objective here. The objective is to let you know that's not okay to act like that. And you can, but now I have to leave. Like all those are, you know, a woman caught in adultery walking into what is a very dangerous life and death situation. Back then, stoning to death. Was that? There's this energy that goes on with mobs, right? If?
Speaker 2:you've seen this, it's just this all of a sudden, weak men feel strong and they just start and it's very, very dangerous. We're trained to look and see this and avoid it and all that stuff in a protective capacity. But when you see that, to walk into that and get involved put you, put you a target on your back as well.
Speaker 1:I bet.
Speaker 2:Then to say like, okay, do I pretend I didn't see it, or do I call it on a Legion to wipe you out, or do I use my intellect to write in the sand and say something true?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Send, cast the first stone. Everybody goes home. Wow, you just modeled how to deescalate this entire thing. And everybody goes home better. Yes, including this woman. Okay, go listen to more. We're good here. That's right, that is a big, big lesson that we never get taught. I never got taught and then I talked to 50, 60 year old man and they go can you teach me how to do that? I'm like what, how to talk to other men.
Speaker 2:I'm like figured out together and we are. Yes, we are. You have so much awesome stuff going on. This is I get to do this. This is amazing. It's a blessing right, because it's like it's all connected. It's not like 20 segments of sporadic stuff a leads to b leads to c and I'm going towards healthy me. I'm working on jimmy graham and you're invited and let's learn this stuff together. And you know, one of my spiritual leaders is my pastor and these buddies, and I get this community to kind of say I tell them jokingly, you, you know, one of my spiritual leaders is my pastor and these buddies, and I get this community to kind of say I tell them jokingly you guys, you know, you're all guinea pigs.
Speaker 2:We're just trying to figure this out, but we get to shoot guns and four wheel drives and motorcycles and take care of one another along the way, and it seems to be very attractive for people and it's growing and it's healthy and it's good.
Speaker 1:Awesome. Well, how, how do people find you if they want to kind of join the tribe, the Able Shepherd tribe? I mean, how would somebody find you?
Speaker 2:So I tell people, if you want to learn about the program, you know the training program. It's ableshepherdcom Able as in, capable shepherd, as in to shepherd, right. So A-B-L-E-S-H-E-P-H-E-R-Dcom. But I say, if you want to see the heart of the organization, you got to go to the YouTube channel, because we are, in particular, the one I'm probably the most proud of at this point is the four day adventure with the kids was all I mean.
Speaker 2:It was emotional, it was amazing, it was such a cool thing of let's go model strength for these little ones, because there are a future and many families and just things where, like, a kid falls and it doesn't have to be his parent that picks him up, somebody's going to pick him up and they know it. Or girls too. You know one young lady named Reagan. She's a sweetheart and she was like, when they interviewed her after she said I just know when I fall, there'll always be somebody to pick me up, and we're like it's just amazing, right. And again, if you challenge them and require more of our young people to show up, like, invite them to excellence, that will show up every time, but we're not.
Speaker 1:Yes, well, and you're inspiring me because, as being the leader of this organization of families of character, I think you know, especially a new leader here. Sometimes we get put in a box right or put ourselves in a box where we're like, okay, we're doing this one thing with our community and you're, what I hear you saying is like, hey, if people are interested in it, it seems like it would serve our community. And it may be a wild idea to jump on these motorcycles and go out into the mountains and like, yeah, there's a lot of risks, right, and liability waivers and all these things, but you're like let's just, let's put it together and let's make it happen.
Speaker 2:And people love it. That's what we love. We love wild ideas with a hint of danger and all this other stuff and commitment and defend it on the calendar and all that kind of stuff. People love it. Or even how many people would come alive to defend a school? You know what I mean. We've talked about that, you know, and I'm talking to more and more people about. We've got an idea on how do you build future schools. What if the building itself said to get to them, you've got to go through me, that protective principle, right, it's hard to go through concrete and brick and all that stuff. Make it beautiful, make it amazing, make it a community event where my business, the back of my business, actually protects your kids at play Right, that's, that's something that's doable. I presented that on. It was on C-SPAN for the Western Conservatives Summit a couple of years ago, you know, and people really scratching their heads and we're pursuing that. It's just it going on, jimmy, just please don't hesitate to reach out.
Speaker 1:I mean there's a lot of crossover with parents, you know in our community, and families, and then just needing good, solid ideas and plans and training for how to protect ourselves and our families at home and in the community. I mean, it's just endless. So you've got a big um adventure ahead of you and I know it takes a lot of support and it takes money and it takes people and employees and volunteers and everything. So if there's any way we can kind of cross our audiences and our communities and help support what you're doing, or, um, get the word out. If you have some awesome opportunity opportunity like you just did with with this mountain adventure coming our way, let us know, Cause we'd be happy to sign up and get people out there and take you up on that.
Speaker 2:I think it is that, that unifying thing. The line should be our kids. This should be something that gets us United and says, hey, we're going to, we're going to draw a line in the sand and that lines our kids.
Speaker 1:Absolutely so enjoyed our conversations. Thank you for coming out today. Guys, check out Able Shepherd, please trust me. I've done this program with my husband, my three kids. The emergency family readiness program was amazing. We're signing up for the Protect Our People class and going to be participating in that.
Speaker 1:So there's so many ways that you can protect your family and plan ahead for these things. But sometimes you just don't know where to start. And if you're a young father or mother and you're going, but I just don't know if my plan would be legit, just take a course, you know, take it from someone who's been there, done that, wrote the program and go from there. So we will. We also in our own community, at Families of Character, have a couples coaching series that has launched. So make sure that you go to familiesofcharactercom. Parenting is hard, marriage is difficult at times, and so we wanna help you reconnect with your spouse and make sure that you have some clarity over the chaos of the family calendar so that you can bring some peace and unity back into your home. So check out familiesofcharactercom for that. Thank you again, jimmy, and we will see you on another episode of the Families of Character show.
