Ep. #180: From Burnout To Family Teamwork featuring Jordan Langdon on Respect Life Radio

(RE-BROADCAST) On this episode of Respect Life Radio, hosts Emma and Jennifer interviewed our very own podcast host & Executive Director of Families of Character, Jordan Langdon.  

In this interview, Jordan shares her personal journey of marriage and raising three children, reflecting on how embracing this Christ-centered model transformed her family life. Through seasons of struggle and growth, she and her husband discovered the power of viewing family as a team—one rooted in love, joy, and mutual service. Jordan also emphasizes the importance of prayer, and how transformative it is in the foundation of marriage and family life.

Check out other episodes of the Respect Life Radio show. 

Contact Jordan at jordan@familiesofcharacter.com for any speaking opportunities or parenting workshops. 

The Thriving Family Accelerator provides an easy, 3-step process to lower stress, parent as a united team, and enjoy a true friendship with your spouse & relationship with your kids. Sign up now for this live parent coaching with proven methods for positively engaging your family and redistributing the mental load. 
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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:33

Hello, and welcome back to Respect Life Radio. My name is Emma Ramirez. And I am Jennifer Torres. And we are so happy to have you all with us. And we are especially happy to have um a dear friend of Jennifer's and a new acquaintance of mine, uh, Jordan Langdon uh from Families of Character. Jordan, would you mind sharing a little bit about yourself?

SPEAKER_03 1:00

Thanks for having me, Emma

Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_03 1:02

and Jennifer. Yes, I am uh married for 21 years. Have uh three children, so I'm a mother, yes, 19, 13, and 11-year-old children, two boys and a girl. Um, I have been a Catholic all my life, cradle Catholic, and um have just felt very reinvigorated about Catholic life over the last probably eight

Jordan’s Early Family Hopes

SPEAKER_03 1:33

years of my life.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

Wow, that is really cool. I I guess I mean I know you very much in brief, but I did not realize that, yeah, it's just been within the last eight years um that the Holy Spirit's been pulling on your heartstrings. Um can you share a little more about your personal journey of kind of both maybe getting involved with the faith more deeply, but also what brought you to families of character? Sure.

SPEAKER_03 2:04

So um I think you know, when you get married and start having kids, you have the the best desire for your marriage and family life. And and I remember back, you know, 20 years ago, um, just having so many dreams for my marriage and for having children one day. And there was so much hope in that. Um, I was raised by a mom and dad who, you know, very much engaged us as kids. We had so much fun out in nature and we served at our church and um we communed with other families and we were involved in sports, but it was um at a you know moderate level. And so there was plenty of dinner times and and um just family encounters growing up. And so I was really excited to be a wife and a mom. And um then, you know, just like most couples, we started having children. And as a mom, I felt um, you know, this natural sort of instinct to start nurturing my kids and meeting their every need. And that's what I did. I knew the sound of their cry and what it meant and um and what they needed when they needed it, and so I started fulfilling those needs for my kids, and um then they're starting to get like three and four and five and seven, and I'm

The Wake-Up Moment In The Bathtub

SPEAKER_03 3:32

still doing everything for them, even though they've sort of um passed the the level of, you know, I can do it myself. And then I found myself, you know, just um feeling like a team of one, to be honest with you. You know, uh eight years ago we were married with three children and they were all in school at some level, and both my husband and I were working jobs, so um, two, you know, working parent household, and uh we were doing what our friends were doing. We were sort of taking our kids to to sports practices and um going to church on Sundays, but um what we didn't realize is that uh our marriage was sort of like silently suffering. So it wasn't until this one night when I got home from a long day at work at the office, and I just did not have the energy. I felt like, oh, how am I supposed to do this evening routine, you know, like dinner and dishes and homework and you know, getting people ready for school the next day. And I was already tired out and I was washing my daughter's hair, and she was four years old. She's in the bathtub and and she's got her eyes closed, and all of a sudden she just says, Mom, I don't think dad wants to live here anymore. And I'm I'm I'm just like, What, what? And then she went on, she had her eyes closed and she said, I don't think he wants to leave, but I don't think he wants to live here. And I've been a therapist for 20 years, and so as a counselor, all of a sudden my world was rocked. I'm thinking, four-year-old does not just say this out of the blue. What's going on here? And so she popped her eyes open, and the next second she wanted a snack, right? She just had moved on, and I'm still kind of like, uh, girl, you just dropped a bomb on me, right? And so we get her a snack, we put her in bed, and then I go ask my husband. I said, Um, by the way, are you thinking about leaving? And he said, Well, why do you ask? And again, as a counselor, I'm like, this is not a good sign. You're answering a question with a question. And he says, Well, uh, and I told him what Annie had just said, and he said, Well, that's interesting. He said, Because I'm not thinking about leaving, but you're really not fun to live with. And ladies, in that moment, I couldn't have agreed more. Like, I was like, Yes, you're right, you're right. I'm nagging, I'm I'm correcting people before I even connect with them. I'm constantly doing everything for everyone and I'm burnt out. I'm I feel like a team of one. I don't even like me. So it was at that point where Josh and I just realized, like, wow, we didn't, we really didn't even take time to kind of assess our relationship and how we were connecting or not connecting. And it wasn't until our daughter recognized that distance between us that we just had to do a total reset and kind of go, what has happened here and how can we come back from this? And so, long story short, we ran into Steve Markle, who had given a presentation at our church about families of character, this nonprofit organization that he created to really help couples be more unified and to grow in virtue. Because you know, when you're working to um, you know, in good habits of honesty, respect, responsibility, you know, your integrity, those types of things

Discovering Families Of Character

SPEAKER_03 7:14

that you grow closer together as a couple. And so he was talking about his own transformation and working on virtue with his wife and how his kids noticed this huge difference in his marriage. And um, so I remembered him when I was in that place of suffering. And so um I knocked on his door at his office and I said, Hey, here's what's going on. Um, I'd love to sit down with you a couple hours a week and find out more about what you're doing for married couples who are raising kids. And I started just spending time with him and listening to what advice he was giving married couples. And um, I started implementing these things in my own life. So Josh and I started working to prioritize date night again, like we used to before we had kids, right? And then we started thinking of ways that we could unify our family and get our kids to level up in responsibility and tying their shoes and packing their lunches and and uh doing their own laundry when they're seven years old, you know, and picking up after themselves. And then just like this whole idea of getting organized around the family calendar

Practical Habits That Changed Everything

SPEAKER_03 8:26

because we realized that as a mom, I was the one sort of carrying that burden, and everybody was dependent on me to know what was going on in the family. So we started doing a weekly family huddle. We started trying everything we could to really reconnect as a couple, put our faith as the number one priority, and then our marriage as number two priority, and then the unity of our family as a third priority. And I'll just tell you, it's a longer story, but I'm telling you, everything changed. We had a complete transformation in our marriage and family life. So Steve could feel the passion coming through. And at the same time, we just were kind of like, hey, what do you think? You know, are he he is in his retirement years, he said, Jordan, I think the Lord is calling me to step down and for you to step into this role. And let's trust him in the process. And so, girl, it's been years, and I am just my heart is still just exploding with passion for for helping parents who were silently suffering in a position like we were eight years ago.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

Oh my gosh, that's amazing. Yeah, the Lord is He's in charge, and when you let him be, and when you listen, like He'll answer. He will answer, and he'll answer in unexpected ways, and sometimes you know it can take a little longer. Um depending on yeah, what is his timing, but that is that is beautiful, Jordan. Thank you for sharing that.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

You're welcome. I've heard this story many times, and I just it every time, Jordan, it's just so evident and um yeah, just such a witness to so many that I know that you accompany and have been, and I've been lucky enough to kind of see that in action. But just for for those who just are just unaware really of what Family of Characters offers, would you mind just sharing a bit more in the ways that you support parents becoming protectors and nurturers of life for their families, both spiritually and practically? Because I'm sure they're like, what are these things that she's talking about? Like, what does that look like? And yeah, how can I learn more? We would love to kind of see, yeah, if you can explain just a bit more on that, that'd be great.

SPEAKER_03 12:14

Yes, absolutely. So, one of the ways that we really support parents in just um becoming protectors and nurturers of life is just in our fundamental beliefs. Like we believe um that God has entrusted parents with the sacred role of being nurturers and protectors of life. And so um that comes out in everything we do because parents approach us with all kinds of issues with their kids, kids with special needs, kids with extreme behavior problems, um, you know, parents who may be struggling with their own addictions or compulsions. And um, and so we offer uh several different sort of ways of helping people based on where they land. So the first place that we reach people, which is really a worldwide resource, is through our podcast. So the Families of Character Show is a podcast that launches every Tuesday with a new topic. So we will have experts on our show who talk about how you know what you can do as a parent to help your child keep their faith when they leave the home. We will talk to people about nutrition. What do you do when your kids are picky eaters so that you're not, you know, dinner time isn't a disaster because you're yelling at everybody to eat your peas. You're acting in ways that you then feel ashamed for, you know. Um, but then so the podcast is like an informational way and an educational way that we support parents. Um, if and and we have a ton, 160 plus episodes with multiple different topics, so that you could just pick the thing that you're sort of struggling with the most and find that resource there. Um, but second of all is just this idea that we want to build community with families, especially um over the past five years after this this big pandemic and and shutdown.

What Families Of Character Offers

SPEAKER_03 14:18

Um, we feel like that's really lacking for parents. You know, um, there's this idea that you should have friends and lots of friends. You should be very involved with your friends. But the reality is, as busy couples and parents, is that that community really doesn't exist. So you're you're sort of always comparing yourselves to this ideal, maybe that social media portrays that oh, people are just um, you know, in person with each other all the time with their families and they're growing. The the truth is they're they're running um from lacrosse practice to the airport for club volleyball to, you know, let's fit in mass over here. And then we've got these high, you know, pressure jobs that we're running. And so there's not that that deep connection of community with like-minded families. So another thing we do locally in Denver is we offer a parents' night out. So that is a date night event um at a local coffee shop with 12 couples. So keeping things intimate, but um providing a place for couples to reconnect outside of their kids pulling on their pants and going, I need another snack or whatever. And we want it to be a place where it's not another rant about the kids or the finances or the business of the family. And so we put on these date night events once a month at this coffee shop here in Denver. And then thirdly, we have kind of a deeper level of um mentorship through our coaching program. So we offer a thriving family accelerator that's right now offered on Zoom so people can zoom in from across the country and participate in this coaching where they can learn these fundamental habits. And these are the habits that are taught inside of our coaching course. One, we help couples to develop a personal family mission statement. We really feel like if if a couple can dream again, pause family life, create a mission statement like they they used to dream about before they started having families, and really identify what are the top few things that are most important to us. Um, then that helps guide all of their activities, what they say yes and no to, um, the boundaries they set within their families and their friends, because they've clearly identified the vision they want for their future. And then we teach them how to huddle up, have a weekly family huddle to get everybody on the same page, check out the calendar, get dad in charge, get him leading the family like he was meant to do, and for wives to be the beautiful supporters of that. And so families are having these amazing family huddles every week where people are like, oh, we're all on the same page. We are on the same team here under the same roof, wearing the same last name on the jersey, like this feels good. We're moving down the field together. Yeah, and then we get couples dating each other inside of married life, right? Like we used to do this really well before we started having kids, and then we just deprioritize that because we put our kids above our relationship and even our faith. Um, and so getting couples to just commit on the calendar to a date night to invest in the babysitter to really nurture their marriage is another habit we get them into. And then this is crazy, ladies. So we we found this statistic that 50% of marriages are still ending in divorce. If you get remarried, your chance of divorce goes up to 78% in your second marriage. So it's actually even harder to keep marriage alive, yeah, and well if you get remarried. But then the good news is if you go to church with your spouse, so you're going as a married couple to church every weekend, your chance of divorce goes down to 26%. But this is the cool part. If you pray together as husband and wife each day, even if it's 30 to 60 seconds, your chance of divorce goes down to 0.006%.

Mission, Huddles, Dating, Prayer

SPEAKER_03 18:32

And so we get couples praying together. And the awesome part is we really encourage the men to pray for their wives in the presence of their wives every day. This is a total game changer. This is where the romance levels up, where women feel totally pursued by their husbands, and husbands feel that sense of confidence that they're being the spiritual leader and the head of their household and the spiritual leader of their marriage. So it it's just it's just absolutely been transformational to get couples in these habits. And then because we do this in a group setting, to watch how uh when one couple takes a few steps forward, this one that's lagging back steps up and is like, okay, we can do it, right? So the Lord knew what he was doing when he was calling me out of my individual office where I would see one person at a time, once a week over the course of six months, to a community of people where they can really truly motivate each other and inspire each other through their own growth and transformation to level up even further.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

Gosh, Jordan, that's so I mean, those statistics are crazy. They're insane. And yes, it's so funny because my husband and I have actually both listened to some of the families of character shows. And the one that stuck out to him the most that he listened to was like an invitation of men to pray with their wives and pray over their wives. And so he's like, he'll say, In our father, just like for me and with me. And at night, you know, we just will say, like a glory be. We have a little prayer that we we wrote it when we were engaged, I guess, but we continue to pray in marriage. And and yeah, it's like it is literally probably 60 seconds a day. And and I think sometimes I'm like, oh, should we be praying more? Should we try to say a rosary? And it's like, okay, the reality of our current circumstances, we just we don't have time to say a rosary together. And yes, um, and and some days we do, like on a Sunday, on a weekend, on a walk, maybe, but but I think um to know that it's like, hey, those 60 seconds are powerful and and it's it matters, and and it and yeah, so I don't know. That is that's amazing, and what a great encouragement. I think even just for Jennifer and I um in our own lives to encourage our friends and and to let them know, hey, like this makes a difference. Like, um and and yeah, the Lord, yeah, he's the one we need to be looking to, he's the one we need to be turning to. Um and I think something something that I've have found in I'm I'm a I'm a mother, I have an 11-month-old, he's he'll be one so soon, which is crazy. Um but it is interesting in the modern culture. It's it's all about yourself, right?

Countering Me-Culture With Team Culture

SPEAKER_00 21:39

It's all about okay, I'm an individual, I'm a mom, but I'm still like I'm working, I'm this and that, like, yeah, and I'm fulfilled, I'm I'm making sure I'm taking care of me. And again, those things are are important, like when it's rightly ordered. Um, but motherhood has also brought and life in general, it brings sacrifice, like it's a call to serve one another. Um, so how do you feel like families of character has helped counter that narrative? Um, both as parents and and even for their own children, um, to live more in a life-affirming, virtue-based lifestyle.

SPEAKER_03 22:22

Well, we are all about family as a team, right? There's no I and team. I know that's cheesy, but there isn't. It's T-E-A-N. There's no I and team. There's like you as a couple are a team, yeah, and you were called and entrusted with these players on your team to raise them to play the game of life, to get to the end zone, which we say is heaven. And that that's our primary role is to get each other, get ourselves to heaven, our spouse, and our kids to heaven. And so, how are we doing that in our home as great coaches and mentors to our children? And so um everything that we talk about in our coaching program, in our blogs, in our um podcast episode is about uh service to others, right? So, um, how can I serve my spouse in an intentional way that doesn't just feel like I'm checking the box? How is it that we can serve each other this week with all the things we have going on on our calendar in order for us to move through these events with joy and love that radiates from our family? Because that's really the most attractive thing for anyone who is stuck in that egocentric world, is like the the witness of you know, married couples with their children all in Costco, grocery shopping with smiles on their faces, right? Like kids hanging off the cart, like that. That's what is appealing to people about this life of you know, a family. Yeah, and so we just think, you know, when you're arguing with your spouse, remind yourself, we're on the same team. We chose each other, right? We are together, we are with each other, we are for each other. Let's let's try to align here instead of standing our ground. Same thing with our kids, like we are team langdent, right? We've got each other's backs, we're interactive, we're adventurous. This is what we claim in our mission statement. Let's get back to that sense of teamwork, and so we're always talking about just how is it we can do something for someone in our family today? See a need, recognize the need, and then fulfill the need. That is love because we're dying to ourselves and serving another in our family, and really we're called to love our neighbor. And we don't think about this. I think as Catholics, sometimes we hear this language and we're like, yeah, Julie, she's great. She lives next door. We love her. We like bring her flowers every once in a while, cookies, or we wave at her when we see her going into her garage. Your closest neighbor is your spouse and your children. So loving your neighbor well means like being a team, serving in your own home. So yeah, we gotta do that well first before we start taking on all this stuff outside of ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 25:24

Yeah. Yeah, gosh, it's so true. And I think this has really like been such an inspiration to me and just like a reinvigoration of yeah, what what is our call? Like, what is what is our mission as a family, as the domestic church. Um sadly, we are pretty close to being out of time, but I do just want to say if anyone is interested in getting involved and listening to the podcast, in um yeah, trying to sign up for one of the I think it's Thriving, what is the workshop? Thriving Family Accelerator. The Thriving Family Accelerator. Um, you can find all of this information and more um at familiesofcharacter.com. And I would really encourage you to check it out. Like I mentioned, my husband and I have have already taken advantage of some of um of some of the resources that are there. And Jordan, is there anything else, any last words that you would like to share with our listeners um as we wrap things up?

SPEAKER_03 26:35

Yeah, you know, I would just say too, if you are involved with a parish, I fly all over the country to give workshops to parents. So if you have a large marriage and family ministry, I absolutely love serving Catholic parishes and their marriage and family ministries. Um, so I'm happy to put on a workshop and to teach your parents how to realign their marriage towards God, the the foundation of their family, their union, their covenant with one another, and then get them in the habit of really um working together as a unified team through these weekly family huddles. And that is virtue-based um, you know, living right there. So you can always contact me at Jordan at familiesofcharacter.com for any speaking opportunities or workshops as well.

SPEAKER_00 27:30

Amazing. And we will make sure to put that information in the show notes as well. Um well, thank you so much, Jordan. And um, we're so grateful for you, for your witness, for your passion. Um and it was a it was really a gift to be with you today.

SPEAKER_03 27:46

Yeah, so good. Do you mind if I

Resources, Workshops, And How To Connect

SPEAKER_03 27:48

wrapped us up with a little special prayer that my family says every evening? I would love, please. Okay, in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen. Heavenly Father, you have given us the model of life in the holy family of Nazareth, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Help us make our family another Nazareth, where love, peace, and joy reign. Teach us to see Jesus and the members of our family, especially in their distressing disguises. May we love one another as you love each of us more and more each day, and forgive each other's faults as you forgive our sins. Help us take whatever you give and give whatever you take with a big smile. Amen.

SPEAKER_02 28:39

Amen. Thanks so much, Jordan, and God bless. Thanks so much for having me.