Unsexy Church

Season 3 Episode 16: Marriage As A Covenant

• First Baptist Tampa • Season 1 • Episode 16

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The Unsexy Church Podcast

New episodes drop every Wednesday Morning

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Unsexy Church is a weekly podcast exploring the real, everyday life within our church family. Each week, join Pastor Bob (Senior Pastor) and Darren (Worship & Discipleship Pastor) as they sit down to discuss a wide variety of subjects—from deep theological questions to the practical, often "unsexy" work of following Jesus and building a healthy local church.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO THRIVE?

We want to help every person make a genuine commitment to follow Jesus and then follow through with that commitment in Connecting People to a Thriving Life in Christ. These Thriving disciples should Dig In to the Bible, Grow Up in Christ, and Branch Outinto the community.

Our Mission: To Connect People to a Thriving Life in Christ. What is a thriving life in Christ? Scripture says that Jesus Christ came “that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” Our mission in the city of Tampa is to make disciples who follow the pattern of the believer in Psalm 1 and desire God’s glory above all things.

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Welcome And A Great Sunday

SPEAKER_01

Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Unsexy Church Podcast. It's a podcast ministry of First Baptist Church of Tampa, Florida, where our mission is to help you connect to a thriving life in Christ. Good morning, everybody. Morning. Morning, Darren. Jordan's here. Pastor Bob is here. So glad you guys are here around the table today. This is actually Tuesday. We normally do these on Monday. Monday. Yeah. But uh, I don't know. We had uh I thought you, I thought I really enjoyed the sermon Sunday, man. Last last Sunday. It was really, really good. I appreciate that. Is it is there a such thing to enjoy a sermon? Is that a good word?

SPEAKER_02

I hope you don't not enjoy, I guess. I mean right.

SPEAKER_01

I think it was encouraging, it was it was thought provoking uh for for me anyway. And uh I just it was a good I thought it was a good day, Sunday.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, Darlene commented on it when we were home Sunday afternoon, and I I thought, you know, it's just a simple passage, but it's one you can really just read right over and you miss the profound truth of it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you said, man, you can just read right right over this and keep on moving. And uh I thought it was it was a good it was a good stop.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, just reminder Jesus taking the children unto himself, but using them as the illustration of what it takes to come to him in faith.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and you said something um I thought that was really interesting. Uh not interesting, but just thought again, thought provoking. This wasn't part of your sermon, but uh, it was just another statement you made. Um a lot of churches judge their strength um by their Easter attendance. But at the unsexy church, we judge our strength by the Sunday after that's right. And we had a decent crowd. Yeah, pretty good. It was wasn't our largest, but it was not our smallest. I mean, it was good, it was a good, it was a good, good crowd. Sunday. They showed up. Yeah, it was fun, it was a good day. Hey, uh today, so it's Tuesday, so different

April 14 And Lincoln’s Assassination

SPEAKER_01

date. Uh this April 14th for those of you who today's the 14th, right? Yeah, it is the 14th. 14th. What happened this day, Jordan? See if you know this in 1885. Bob Bob knows.

SPEAKER_00

Raising his hand.

SPEAKER_01

I'll call on Pastor Bob because he knows.

SPEAKER_02

Wait, what was the exact date that you gave? Uh April 14th. That one I know. I thought you gave a year. Uh 1885. Okay, because there's two big events that happen on this date.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

One, which I think you're referring to, is the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. Yes. Oh. The other is the sinking of a little ship called the Titanic in 1920.

SPEAKER_01

It was hard to choose which, you know, which one do we do we do, right? But uh I chose the Lincoln assassination. Okay. Uh on this date. He likes to go dark. He always goes dark on these man. Uh, this was, you know, Lincoln was the first president to actually be assassinated uh of the United States. Uh John Wilkes Booth snuck into the Ford Theater.

SPEAKER_02

Allegedly.

SPEAKER_01

Uh right. Yeah. I look we'll give room for conspiracies, right? Uh what's here's so here's some things that are interesting that a lot of people don't know. There was actually John Wilkes Booth had a ring of people with him that had actually planned to kidnap the president uh before, and but then the president didn't show up at the place that they thought he would. So that fell apart. So then they hatched another plan to simultaneously uh assassinate the president, vice president Johnson, and the Secretary of State Seward. Seward. Why why those three? Why would you do those three? Just chopping off the head of the snake is from their point of view. Exactly. I mean, that's the first that's that's the line of succession. Right. And so uh they were almost successful. Yeah, they like they like you know, obviously they assassinated President Lincoln. Uh the one of the conspirators broke into um Seward's home, stabbed him multiple times, injured him. Yeah, pretty pretty, but then the third guy lost his nerve. Exactly. The uh it's interesting, this is not a knock on Secret Service, but um I mean there wasn't much of a secret service at that time.

SPEAKER_02

But they had some, but it wasn't like it is.

SPEAKER_01

I think it had to develop you know, over learning from experience, right? One one of the Secret Service agents in Lincoln's booth was bored with the uh theater production that they were watching.

SPEAKER_02

My American cousin, I think.

SPEAKER_01

My American cousin, that's right. Exactly, that's it. And so the Secret Service uh guy that one of them that was in the booth um left the booth, left the president to go get a beer. You know, as one does. Yeah. Yeah. So he just thought, uh, I've had enough of this. Uh you know, this is getting uh old quick. And so so John Wilkes Booth was was able to sneak into the president's booth and shot him in the back of the head. And uh one of the other Secret Service agents almost caught him. Uh he jumped from the balcony onto the stage. Uh John Wilkes Booth did, and uh the other Secret Serviceman almost caught him, but he got slashed by by a knife that John Wilkes Booth had. But also John Wilkes Booth broke his leg when he landed on the stage, but was still able to hobble away and and get away, man. Crazy, crazy stuff. So that was uh Have you ever been to Ford's Theater? I've never been there. It's it's it's kind of cool.

SPEAKER_02

It's cool to be there and see the whole setup. It's yeah, it's really interesting. Much smaller than you would anticipate, but uh yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I would like I would love to love that kind of stuff. Um they you know they they took President Lincoln just like I think just like right across the street to a lodge there, and he died the next morning.

SPEAKER_02

You can take tours there and go, you know, and they'll walk you across and show you where he was.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it was I'm a history buff is I kind of I geek out of that kind of stuff. Yeah, there's all kinds of other conspiracies. There are maybe he did this, maybe he didn't do this, all those kind of things. You know, the reason that they wanted to uh they wanted, you know, they were you know, he was a fairly well-known southern actor. Actor, yeah. Yeah, and uh and wasn't he lived in in the north and just wasn't as well received in the north as he was in the in the south. And so he was a a Confederate sympathizer, obviously, but they wanted to um like you said, cut the head off the snake, just put the put the American government in such dis disarray that they couldn't win the the the the the the Civil War. So yeah, it was kind of the the plan for the three.

SPEAKER_02

But uh, you know, yeah, even though at that point the war was essentially over. Pretty much done. Like two weeks later, right? It was over. Yeah. So cool stuff. See, Jordan's learning today. So yeah, I'm from his Belgian background, he was learning about American history.

SPEAKER_01

You're gonna pass your constitution test, man. Oh yeah. Breeze. Your American history classmate. Why did you learn it? By the sexy church podcast. Oh man. No, we had uh again, like we just had a great, I think, a great Sunday. They're all great. Um some are greater than others, but I thought this last Sunday was just was fantastic. Um, it was so just good to be in the house of the Lord with you guys. And uh when I say the house

From Children To Marriage

SPEAKER_01

of the Lord, I mean the body of Christ, right? We are we're as his temple, right? But uh your passage talked about um um children, you know, the the the famous let the little children come to me, do not hinder them, right? And what precedes children or what should precedes children? Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_03

This is the unsexy church podcast. Hold on.

SPEAKER_01

Hold on. I mean, we know biologically what has to happen, right? Okay, okay, okay. So but Jordan's young. That's true, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

But what's what's the institution that should be there? Oh, see, that's a different question. There we go.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, what am I getting at?

SPEAKER_02

I think you're shooting to talk about marriage today.

SPEAKER_01

Today we're gonna talk about marriage. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Jordan with a baby cabin. Oh. Oh, man. Yeah. So uh yeah, we're gonna talk about marriage a little bit today.

Wedding Costs And Sunday Ceremonies

SPEAKER_01

Um, do you guys know? This is just some other facts, a little bit, what the average cost for a wedding is or what it was in 2025.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, for a wedding. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Average cost for a wedding. You're around weddings all the time, don't you?

SPEAKER_02

Jordan, you and Jordan Lizzie do photography and videography. And they do a fantastic job. They really do. Like if this is a shameless plug. If you what's the name of your company?

SPEAKER_00

Uh well, we kind of separate but together, JSJ Productions and Lizzie Night Images. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. They both do a fantastic job. If you're if you're in need, shameless plug, yeah. No, I would I would wholly, wholeheartedly recommend it.

SPEAKER_02

So you're around a lot of weddings. So what what what's your what's your guess?

SPEAKER_00

Uh average.

SPEAKER_02

Average cost.

SPEAKER_00

$28,000.

SPEAKER_01

That's pretty good. Pretty close. That's around $32,000. $30,000 to $40,000. My daughter is Emily. Emily, I'm sorry. You're going to have a below average wedding. Just I'm like, $30,000 to $40,000. Man.

SPEAKER_02

That's insane, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02

And then they take years to pay that off. If the couple's paying for it, or whoever it is. Whoever.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, that's that's insane. I'm sorry. I and I'm a big fan of marriages, but I just think that's crazy. A lot of that depends on location, sure. Venue, all venue, venue, all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_02

If you're doing a sit-down meal, all that kind of stuff. But man, but that's that's the average man. So we've had a lot of weddings around here lately. We we've got one coming up this weekend. We do, man. We had one last weekend. Great, sweet couple. Uh had another couple get married last weekend. Yep. Uh, and then we had what um one about two weekends ago. So we we've had four right here in a row. You know, it's that time of year, right? I guess so. It's something in the spring.

SPEAKER_01

You know, I think this is interesting. Um, a few of our of our weddings have been here in the last two, three, four years or whatever, have been at least three of them have been on Sunday afternoons. Yeah, that's an unusual for us. That's I I've never uh I've never gone to a wedding on Sunday until I came to here. And that's again, I think even here is a newer It is, it is.

SPEAKER_02

Um, and we rarely do them here at the church on Sundays, but a lot of the couples are finding just the competition for the spaces for dinners and hard to it's hard to get them reserved on Saturdays.

SPEAKER_01

So I don't know, Jordan. You're you're in this industry. Are you seeing a lot of are you doing a lot of work on Sundays for for weddings other than just around our folks?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I honestly I try not to do it on Sunday. But I do see it, which I Sunday stuff. I don't know if I tend to accept Sunday ones. Good for you.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and yeah, so and this is this is where I would probably speak out of both sides of my mouth a little bit. I kind of like them on Sunday.

SPEAKER_00

I mean it is cool in the morning to go to church and then after that you enter and you I've enjoyed them on Sunday.

SPEAKER_01

Um there's some selfish reasons, but there's also just I I don't know, I think it's just kind of cool. And we we'll talk about that here maybe in a little bit. All right. Another fact

Why People Marry Later Now

SPEAKER_01

here what is the average age or the the age of the average male when they are married the first time? And I have to use today?

SPEAKER_02

And I yeah, today today and I have to use that language the first time, unfortunately. I I think I know the answers, so I'm I'm around marriage. I do a lot of paternal counseling, so yeah.

SPEAKER_01

What do you think, Jordan?

SPEAKER_00

I have two sides to it. People getting married later, but also you verbally the first time, it's almost like I'll just get married, I'm not really thinking right, and I'm just doing it right away. So I'm gonna go with that and say twenty twenty twenty two. Twenty-two during college time. That's right.

SPEAKER_02

So I'm gonna say for men, there's a different the age difference for men and women. I'm gonna say the men is about ten years older than that. It's it's it's early thirties for men and late twenties for women.

SPEAKER_01

That's uh that's exactly right. The average age is like 30 and a half, right? You know, for for men, yeah. The average age for for women is 28 and a half. Yeah. Yep. So that's uh so 1956. I don't know why that year just chosen, you know, 1956. It was a good year for Chevy. Um it was they made some cool looking cars then. But people were getting married at what do you think with the average age was? In 56? Yep, 1956.

SPEAKER_02

19? Yeah, I would say 19, early 20s at the latest.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you're you're right there. It's it's 22 for men and 20 for for women. All right, so let's get a little personal here. Jordan, how old were you when you got married?

SPEAKER_02

Oh gosh, I have to do math now. Hold on.

SPEAKER_00

I'm glad you asked him first. I was twenty five. Twenty-five years old.

SPEAKER_02

All right, all right, Bob, how old were you? I'm doing the math right now. Oh, sorry. I was 25.

SPEAKER_01

25. 25, 25. So I was I was young. Um I got married at 20. And I didn't have to, just for all you out there, just so you were nice. There was no shotguns involved, nothing like that. But uh, I just I just knew, you know.

SPEAKER_02

That's an expression he probably doesn't understand either.

SPEAKER_01

Do you know what we mean by shotgun wedding? No, this might be a little too sexy for this podcast, but um that means uh the couple got the cart, they got the cart before the horse. And you're using another one that so that means they they did married things before they were married. They got things out of order.

SPEAKER_02

They got things out of order, and then the and then the father of the bride ensured that the marriage took place.

SPEAKER_01

Ensuring it with a shotgun. All right, yeah. So yeah, interesting. Why do you think 1954? What was the 56 and 22 and 20? Okay, yeah, and so pretty big difference. Yeah, you know, why why do you think that is occurring? What do you all think about that? Like, what do you why is that? Is it let me ask this? Is it good that that the age is is is is growing uh older? And I would say that the the trend is is still rising. So it's 30 and a half for men and rising, right? Same thing for women, 28 and a half and and rising. Is this a good thing that people are waiting? Uh is this bad thing that people are waiting?

SPEAKER_02

There's a lot of statistics we could throw out here. I think in 1971, 9% of adults were never married. Today it's like 35% of adults are never married. Yeah. Um, so there's a there's a there's a trend towards getting married older, if getting married at all. Yeah. At all. Yeah. Um, and and I think there's multiple factors that contribute to that. Uh one is just our how do how do I say this nicely? It's it's taking people longer to mature. They're not forced into maturity at an earlier age where we're in few earlier generations they were. A lot of like 1956.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Some of those, I mean, those those people have lived through World War I, World War II. I mean, they've they become men and women early at a much earlier age.

SPEAKER_02

At a much earlier age. Yeah. They've been forced to. Whereas whereas we've protected our younger generations and and kind of coddled them a little bit uh longer, and so they're not been forced to go out and get jobs, not forced to go out and get it.

SPEAKER_01

Like an unintended consequence of that, you know, of trying to care for children well, uh, ensuring that they finish school, ensuring that they go to college, males and females, and and and all that. I think it's has the unintended consequence of some of those things could be this.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. We're we're speaking in generalities, of course. I mean, some people are ready to be married younger at 20, others need to wait until they're older. Yeah. I and I think that's the key. It depends on the person. Depends on the person, depends on the couple. Make sure that it is, you know, God's gift to you and they're the right one, and and you can uh do this right, and you're in a place where you can do it right. Right. Rather than jumping in and then finding out, oh no, I this this isn't the way forward. Exactly. Yeah. So while we're waiting, it's I think there's negatives to that.

SPEAKER_01

There's there's some hard things there, right? Like what what what are some excuse

Fertility Temptation And Autonomy

SPEAKER_01

me, what are some of the consequences for or what are unintended consequences?

SPEAKER_02

Well, you'll you you'll you're also gonna see the trend in birth rate in the United States dropping as well. Yeah, we're gonna be able to do that. It already is, and it and it's correlate correlates with this as well. Um women having children older, nothing wrong with it. Right, but biologically it is more difficult.

SPEAKER_01

Well, there are things, yeah. It if you're in your 30s and you're getting married, uh if you're 30 years old and you're a female and you're you're already considered a geriatric pregnancy. It is, right? It's a high risk pregnancy. And I think we're seeing more and more people struggling with infertility because of waiting. Right. Uh you have people that will um they'll wait to get married, then they'll wait to get their career off the ground, then then they're waiting to have kids, and then they finally have kids, and all all of a sudden they're they can't get pregnant, you know, and it's just it's it's create it's just like a snowball effect. Yeah. Yeah. It's been it's made it harder and harder for sure. Um yeah, man, I I don't know, and I think you go back to let me just ask, you know, speaking about the cart before the horse kind of thing a little bit. If you think about the sexual revolution of the 1960s throughout the 70s, um just practically speaking, we've taken uh the society, our culture has taken the reason, uh one of the reasons, one of the main reasons to get married, uh just out of the picture. Sure. I don't need to get married, I can I can do this before marriage, right? And so I think that's part of the problem. You've just opened yourself. I think the longer you wait, especially as a believer, if if you believe in God's design for marriage, God's design for for sex, you're opening yourself up to a lot of temptation that uh, you know, the longer you wait. Again, I think it it all this goes back to the to the individual person. It does and uh what uh you know where where they are in their walk with with Christ, what's going on in their life, how God's formed them, all those kind of things.

SPEAKER_02

So yeah, and I I I think a big picture here is just our idolatry of personal autonomy. Autonomy is an idol, man. A ton personal autonomy has become an idol amongst us. Yes. Where everything is about me and my personal autonomy and all those things. And yeah, and that's just it's gonna have ripple effects. Yep. Yep in relationship and in marriage and in families, all of these things. I would agree.

SPEAKER_01

I would agree. Man, so just as

Defining Marriage From The Bible

SPEAKER_01

believers, then, how should we just kind of start thinking about marriage a little, you know, like what do we what are some things we need to know, Pastor Bob?

SPEAKER_02

Sure. Well, my answer is always gonna be we need to think biblically. Yes. So finding our definition of marriage not by what society says it is, but by what God's definition of it is. For sure. Defining it from a covenant standpoint, not a contract standpoint, from a uh sacred standpoint, not a secular standpoint. So where does marriage come from? Uh it doesn't come from a definition given by the Supreme Court of the United States on June 26, 2015. That's right. It it comes from a much earlier source when we go back to Genesis, where God created man and woman in his image and he brought them together. Uh and uh we see her presented as his wife and God giving away the bride the very first time. Um so it's it's his design for his glory, for their good, right? It's it's his design for human intimacy, it's his design for procreation, yeah, it's his design for sanctification.

SPEAKER_01

Um one of the most sanctifying things you will ever do is get married. Absolutely. And then that's probably the second most sanctifying thing you ever do is be a dad or a mom.

SPEAKER_02

Absolutely. God uses our spouse, who we ought to be in the most intimate of relationships, who knows us inside and out, who we tend to take advantage of more than anybody else because they're there. Yeah, God can use them to sanctify us and and and make us more like Christ than any other individual. Yeah, I know that's true in my life.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, for sure. For sure. Most yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02

So so marriage was is designed by God for our good, right? He do it this way and it will work well, right? It's for his glory, it is for um procreation, it is for sanctification, it is also for gospel proclamation. Yeah, it is designed to pronounce the gospel, to proclaim the gospel to the world. It is a picture of Christ's love for the church.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I love it. I love the uh like you know, married uh in weddings, in especially in Christian weddings. Um a lot of times at the reception, there's a there's they'll have a Bible out there open. They'll say, you know, circle your favorite verse, write a note by it, or whatever. I like I love going to Psalm 34. Come magnify the Lord with me. Let us exalt his name together. I love it that in the context of marriage, right? Because what you said, marriage is first and foremost for the glory of God. It's not for your happiness. Man, your happiness is a great blessing, though, that comes from marriage, and it is for your your good. But most importantly, it is to glorify God and proclaim his gospel and to spread his image across the globe. Yeah. How does marriage uh how does that proclaim the gospel just that just by being married?

SPEAKER_02

Sure. Well, Ephesians 5, God lays out for us his design for marriage, um, and he describes um mutual submission to one another in his plan um and them submitting themselves

Marriage As A Gospel Picture

SPEAKER_02

to his will. So he tells the wife to submit themselves to the spiritual leadership of the husband just as Christ submitted himself to the father, uh, and then he tells the husband, uh, serve as a spiritual leader to your wife, but love your wife and love her as Christ loved the church. And he says, it's hard for you to understand this, but this is a great mystery. This is a picture of Christ's love for the church. It is a picture of faithfulness, it is a picture of unconditional love, it is a picture of sacrifice. And so sacrifice, submit, do this well, it's a picture of the gospel.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. It just shows us a picture, like you just said, of God's love for us, right? We see we see a picture of the Trinity, you know, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit in the sense of you have a father, you have a uh you have you have uh children, you have a a wife, you just there's so many uh uh lines you can draw of of symbolism. Um and then as as there's a world watching you, uh you're you're just proclaiming the greatness, the goodness, the glory of God to them as they see you forgiving one another, sacrificing for one another, submitting to one another. Um it's just an amazing picture that that that they see.

SPEAKER_02

Well, one of the things I always try to talk to our our couples about is the difference between covenant marriage and and contract marriage.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that was my next question. Tell us, like, give us some

Covenant Marriage Versus Contract Marriage

SPEAKER_01

you used that language earlier. What's your difference?

SPEAKER_02

Sure. So from an earthly perspective, from a governmental perspective, a marriage is a is a legal binding contract. It's an agreement between two parties outlining rights and responsibilities.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And you stay, you get into a contract to protect yourself, right? You're gonna provide this for me. And if somebody breaks their side of the contract, the contract can be broken, right? That and and many enter into marriage in the same concept, right? We're gonna enter into this, we'll give it a shot, you're gonna give this to me. And when you stop providing these things, then I can go out, right? So if you stop looking the way I want you to look or providing the way I want you to provide, or doing whatever it may be, then I can get out of this. And many people enter into a marriage, unfortunately, with the same kind of mentality. They may not verbalize it, they may not even understand it, but that's how they enter into it. For sure. Right. But the marriage from a biblical standpoint is a covenant, and you don't enter into a covenant for what you get out of it, you get enter into it for what you provide the other party. Uh, and it's bound on steadfast love and faithfulness, and it is secured by God, right? So you enter into it for God's glory for the better of the person you're entering into. Yeah, and an amazing thing happens when you enter into a covenant and you enter into a marriage, and each party is looking out for the best interest of their other, the other, and sacrificing themselves for the other, everyone's needs are met, everybody is cared for, yeah, everyone is loved, and God is glorified.

SPEAKER_01

And just the fact that they're in a covenant, there are witnesses. Yes. You know, and and just kind of going back to re remembering marriage is not given the definition of marriage, is it's not given or instituted by the Supreme Court of the United States or anyone else, but it is designed by God for human flirt flourishing. That's one of the reasons I love church weddings in this in this, especially if you're a believer. Um and I'm not you're not in sin if you don't get married in a in a church. I'm not saying that. But just for me, yeah. I for me, I and my daughter and I fight about this, you know. So I mean, just you know, I I I love a wedding in church because it it's a good reminder of where marriage comes from, what the purpose of marriage is, and there are Christian witnesses entering into this covenant with you in a s, in the sense of we will we we see this covenant you're making, that's right, and we're standing with you and are going to help you. That's right. Yeah. What are some of the things that you tell uh we're we've got to wrap this up. I we could probably talk a lot, but what are some of the things that you um counsel young couples? You know,

Premarital Counsel Christ And Communication

SPEAKER_01

I know what are some of the other things?

SPEAKER_02

You talk about covenant contracts or uh two things I always talk to them about, and then then underneath these two things are other things. Um number one is personal commitment to Christ, that each individual must find their contentment, their satisfaction in Christ, not in their spouse or anything else, not their job, not anything. Uh that's not the role God put that your spouse in.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And it's not fair to put them in that role if you're trying to find your contentment and your satisfaction in your spouse or in your relationship. So working on their personal commitment to Christ, their personal relationship with Christ, and then their corporate together working on that relationship with Christ. That's that's number one, and that's foundational. Yeah. Number two is communication. Everything else I talk to them about comes back to communication. Yeah. How do you communicate? When do you communicate? What do you communicate about? Uh, how do you like to communicate? Yeah. So it's those two things. You get those two things in my estimation. And then there's a lot underneath both of those. But those are the two big things.

SPEAKER_01

And no amount of premarital counseling can fully prepare anyone. No. I mean, no, you just it's one of those things you just don't understand until you are in it. I mean, you can do the I mean, right. I I can't tell you how many times I've I've heard people say, I know that you told me this was hard work or that marriage was hard, but man, I didn't, I really and I I knew it in my head, but I did not understand. You know, and and it is hard, but it's beautiful. That's well worth it, absolutely. It's hard, it's painful, it's hard to die to yourself and and for two people to become one. That's right. And that's what's happening in marriage. Two different people from different backgrounds, different families, with different sets of expectations, even and different ideas are coming together and melding into one.

SPEAKER_02

And the longer you wait in your life to do that, the more set in who you are, and you're just you're not changing, right? The harder that is to the harder it is to do.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, exactly. Yeah,

Why Marriage Is Hard And Good

SPEAKER_01

man. And so uh, I don't know. Any last words that you would like to how about this? Any funny stories? Oh god, you got some funny stories from some weddings, man? I do.

SPEAKER_02

I'm not sure I'm gonna share them on the Unsex in church podcast. Um, mellage is what brings us in.

SPEAKER_01

Mellage, mowage, mowage, wove, two, wove. If you know what that's from, DMS. DM us. Jordan has no idea what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_02

Nope. Marriage is a beautiful thing. If if if if God blesses you with the gift from a spouse, then relish in it. Yeah. And you know, glorify God in it. I I'm a blessed man to have Darlene, and hopefully she feels the same way to have to live with me all these years. But um, no, it is a good gift from God.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it is. It's uh the best earthly gift uh you know that I've received from the Lord. It just is such a blessing. Mandy is such a blessing to my life and keeps me. Man, we can just talk about uh you know complimentary, you know, the ri uh roles and just how she kind of keeps me grounded and and uh and helps me so much. Does Mandy listen to the podcast?

SPEAKER_03

No, no, neither does Darlene. Darlene doesn't either. So we're not getting any points for this at all. No, somebody tell them.

SPEAKER_01

Someone reached out and tell them we gave them good shout-outs. No, but she man, uh, it is

Wedding Stories And Final Takeaways

SPEAKER_01

I can tell you it's maybe one so one funny story that I did not witness, but good friends of ours before she was a believer, um during their wedding ceremony did not get along with her mother-in-law very well, jumped the pew and fist fight, full on brawl, break breaks out, all right. So good, good, good friends. That was a Missura wedding before they were believers, right? Another time Mandy and I used to be like like when we were in our 20s, like we were like the wedding singers. I mean, we were busy every weekend singing at different weddings, and we were at a rehearsal one time, and they always wanted you to come to their rehearsal and sing, and so we just sing part of it or whatever, and and at the as as we're kind of singing, this this guy walks in the back of the worship center, and he's just singing away, you know, and not singing what we're singing. Man, I love weddings. He's just all man, he's all about it. And you can see the bride's side looking at the groom side. This guy with the groom side, looking at the bride's side, and they kind of figured out uh no no one knows this guy. No one knows this guy, and he comes right and just walks himself right down to the first pew and sits there by our by the pastor. And I mean, groomsman just almost like the Secret Service. They're all around it. Yeah. Our pastor asked the guy where he's from. He said, I'm from Earth. So yeah, he had been uh he he'd been self-medicating a little bit and uh just kind of wandered in the wrong place. Oopsie. Yeah, yeah, fun, fun stuff, man. Hey, we could again, I think we've done two or three uh podcasts about marriages, and I think we just kind of skimmed the surface a little bit today. And uh, so we we may do some more, right? And if you've got questions about marriage or if you've got uh uh things that you want us to address about marriage, you know, DM us on on Instagram. We'll do the best we can to get a hold of that and uh answer those questions. We're glad you joined us. Make sure you write us a review, give us those five stars, helps spread the cut podcast out there, and as always, stay unsexy.

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Bob Block

Host
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Darren Selvidge

Host