Malonda

What does it take to balance a life of activism and artistry? We sit down with musician, activist and sometimes writer Malonda for a thoughtful conversation where the self styled electric diva and dedicated activist shares the raw realities of juggling her passion for social change with a vibrant musical career. 

Get an insider's look into this Berlin-based artist‘s struggles with creative burnout, writer’s block, and the unwavering resilience that fuels her belief that “defeat is never an option.” We discuss the role of visual components in music and the intricate process of grounding art in broader contexts as well as her non-linear artistic process that challenges conventional Eurocentric methods. The episode offers a humorous yet insightful look at the frustrations of unfinished projects and the language hurdles of living in Berlin, along with the collaborative magic that brings music to life.
 
 This episode was recorded live on October 15th 2023 at Berlin's Podfest

To let us know the artists you’d like to hear, send us an email or even a letter. We’d love to hear! 

Malonda’s album Mein Herz ist ein dunkler Kontinent is available via Applem Spotify, Amazon and wherever you get your music

The video for recent single Scheißangst you can check out here

The Miseducation of Achan Malonda podcast is here

Follow Paul Hanford on Instagram

Lost and Sound is proudly sponsored by Audio-Technica

Paul’s debut book, Coming To Berlin: Global Journeys Into An Electronic Music And Club Culture Capital is out now on Velocity Press. Click here to find out more. 

Subscribe to the Lost and Sound Substack for fresh updates and writing.

Lost and Sound title music by Thomas Giddins

Transcript

Lost in Sound With Electric Diva

Speaker 1 0:00

Lost in Sound is about artists that work outside the box, and today's guest is no exception self-styled electric diva and activist Melonda. But first, lost in Sound is sponsored by Audio Technica, a global but family-run company that make headphones, turntables, cartridges, microphones, studio quality yet affordable products, because they believe that high quality audio should be accessible to all. So, wherever you are in the world, head on over to AudioTechnicacom to check out all of their range of stuff. Ok, let's do the show. Thank you, hello. Hello and welcome to episode 132 of Lost in Sound. How are you doing?

Speaker 1 1:33

I'm Paul Hamford, I'm your host, I'm an author, a broadcaster and a lecturer, and Lost in Sound is the weekly podcast where I chat with an artist who works outside the box, from global icons to trailblazing outsiders and emerging innovators. We talk about music, about creativity and perhaps that most daunting part of being an artist the praxis of life. Previous guests have included Peaches, suzanne Chiani, jim O'Rourke, chilly Gonzalez, cosy Funny Tootie, jean-michel Jarre, rasheen Murphy, future Islands, mickey Blanco and Thurston Moore, and today on the show, my guest is singer, songwriter, activist and writer Melonda. Talking of writers, my book Coming to Berlin is still available in all good bookshops or via the publisher's website, velocity Press. And so yeah, melonda's bio description says electric diva and it's really obvious what this means from listening to like one drop of her music, sung for the most part in german, which she shares something of the flair and that daring do and that integrity of divas from the past, of classic role models of hers, which include grace jones, german actress and singer Hildegard Kleff, and the American actress and inventor Hedy Lamarr. And although filtered through with contemporary production and made very, very much through a contemporary lens, a lens that could only view things through 2023, 2024, 2025 ears and eyes and a mind, there's something very golden age about the sound of the music. There's a sort of Hollywood slash, weimar era Berlin quality to it, but it's not just infused with modern production but also, very importantly, with a contemporary political edge, which runs into the fact that Melonda is also an activist. She speaks at panels, writes essays, gives workshops and uses her platform to turn German discourse towards intersectionality.

Speaker 1 3:34

Now, her debut album, mein Herz ist ein dunkler Kontinent, which, sorry about my German and translated into English means my Heart is a Dark Continent, was released last year to critical acclaim in Germany, and she also now has a podcast, the miseducation of Ashan Malonda. Now this is a live episode. Yep, it was done in front of some people on a stage, a very small stage, one Sunday night back in October last year. It was at the Berlin-based podcast festival, podfest, specifically on Sunday, october 15th 2023. Now that night I spoke with Melonda as part of a double bill that also included separately Lost in Sound and Coming to Berlin favourite DJ Fuckoff, and the conversation with DJ Fuckoff will be a separate episode that I'm going to put out soon, but there's been some delay in putting both of these conversations out due to massive technical issues that I had with the recording that night. These have all now been resolved and I'm so I'm really happy to be able to put the first of these two podfest conversations out now.

Speaker 1 4:43

That night was almost eight months ago now, um, and listening back to it, I was kind of thinking beforehand like, oh no, is it going to have dated? You know stuff. But I listened back to it and I really really enjoyed hearing back the chat that we had, and so I'm really happy to be able to put this out for you to listen to now. Um, but before we get going, if you like the show and you haven't already, please consider subscribing. It really helps me to build the show, to have confidence in what I do and to take the podcast through to its next steps and all of that sort of stuff. Okay, so we've got all that done. So this is what happened when me, paul Hamford, met Melonda. How are you doing? You all right? Thank you so much for having me. Oh no, thank you so much for being here, and on a Sunday as well.

Speaker 2 5:30

I'm so tired.

Speaker 1 5:31

We're going to try and work with the tired energy today. Okay okay, how is it? Apart from being tired, how are you today?

Speaker 2 5:39

You know it's a little, you know like. I'm not only an artist but also a political person who, in turn, also works with a lot of politically involved artists, and the state of the world as it is right now is quite devastating.

Speaker 1 5:53

Yeah.

Speaker 2 5:54

So it's like I'm not only physically tired but also emotionally tired. You know, as an activist, you know it's like sort of like I see our movements failing right now, and that's like you know.

Speaker 1 6:04

it's like sort of like I see our movements failing right now and that's like you know. Yeah, I mean, does music become a way of processing?

Speaker 2 6:11

I think. I think you know like it's, it's, it's a twofold thing. You know, like the one thing is, you know, like sometimes, sometimes I can't create when I feel like this, and sometimes it makes me create even more. I don't know how that exactly works. You know, I think it's a question of the mindset. As soon as I understand that defeat is never an option, then I can start creating again.

Speaker 1 6:33

Yeah, do you have periods where you just have to leave music for a while?

Speaker 2 6:38

Yeah, I do, I do have that. Yeah, I do have.

Speaker 2 6:41

I've been struggling for writer's block with most you know like a lot of times and then, once I'm in the process of creating, then it's like a whole process, Because when I start creating I always start with like an idea you know, and it's like it's never really focused around the music but more around the theme, you know, around the wider theme that I feel like I should be exploring and it's, you know, sometimes it's about a certain kind of taste, a certain kind of smell, a certain kind of world, um, and the color of a certain emotion.

Speaker 1 7:17

Maybe ah, this is really interesting because I, when I used to make music, I was I don't think I've got synesthesia, but I, I do, do you do?

Speaker 2 7:25

yes, I do not not, not with sounds, so much but with numbers and everything that's numeric or that is countable in units.

Speaker 1 7:32

You know, like days, for example yeah and do you uh.

Speaker 2 7:36

So what would like a day is that what's tuesday, for example tuesday has a sort of like greenish hue, but with like a pink under reddish undertone. Going into Wednesday that would be like bluish white yeah.

Speaker 1 7:53

I definitely used to sort of find certain albums.

Speaker 1 7:56

I remember one album someone described to me as being an incredibly round record, but we were watching a record player play at the same time, so it took me a while to kind of realize that they didn't just mean that the record was round but it was actually sounded round but with your music as well, and I mean it's interesting what you're saying about having like a sort of a theme or a kind of idea that you're working on, because, say, with the album there's a lot of styles going on, um, but it all sounds like you, you know yeah um, does that take a lot of craft to kind of get to something like that?

Speaker 2 8:32

I don't, I'm not sure if it's, if it's so much about craft and not self-determination, I think you know like, because the thing is, what makes me political is not so much the stuff that I create, that I write. You know, my album is not full of political songs. I feel people always say like my album was super political. I'm like nah, it's just a me album.

Speaker 1 8:54

Yeah, it's like you know.

Speaker 2 8:56

So it's like it's not. There are no political paroles on it, you know? Or like you know, like I'm not going to say feminism is great and Black Lives Matter and stuff like that. I don't say that in my music and I'm not, I'm not specifically targeting a specific audience, you know, because I'm trying to, I'm trying to make to normalize. How can I say that? I started out with the idea what would a german diva of the 21st century look like?

Speaker 2 9:22

and I was like yeah, like me, of course, you know, and that's like sort of like the central idea.

Speaker 1 9:28

Maybe it's a little conceited, I don't know no, I mean, I don't think conceit has a place in creativity. I don't know, does it maybe? Yes, it does right, yes definitely.

Speaker 2 9:38

I mean, you know, like cis endo, cis white men are there all the fucking time like I don't know. This is not.

Speaker 1 9:45

This is barely anything right and I'm talking about like, kind of like the world of cis and stuff like that. Do you think, um, do you feel like the album and and the work, the music you're doing now, do you feel like there's been a lot to kind of people have had to understand about this, or do you feel like you've always been able to kind of go into it as you?

Speaker 2 10:09

I mean, you know, the thing is that what there's not much to understand about my music, it's basically about love, fucking. You know I'm, am I happy, am I sad, you know? And it's like, yeah, I mean that's there's not a lot to understand about that, and no matter what it is dance.

Speaker 2 10:24

Yeah, I mean that's there's not a lot to understand about that, and no matter what it is dance you know that's, that's the general theme so you know, maybe, even if people don't understand the more complex undertones of it, I think it's still quite accessible, and that's sort of like the mission of the music as well and do you think music should always work on like multiple levels, like that, that there's like a level that you can just dance to, for example?

Artistic Process and Interpretation

Speaker 2 10:47

I mean, you know that's, you know that's the thing, you know that's. That's the way that I think as an artist, but not every artist thinks like that. You know, like, also, like, you know, like I try to. I also try to because people are like yeah, there's so many different styles and I think I have tried to make reference to all the things that influence me and I tried to apply more like less than a linear, more of a circular logic, and I guess that's not, you know, like, in a eurocentric arts and cultural understanding. That's not a usual approach, but, um, maybe I, I, I don't know. I know, you know, because there's so much you know, like, if, if a body like mine does certain things, then there's always so much interpretation around what.

Speaker 1 11:31

I do.

Speaker 2 11:32

And I just, you know, I'm just like, yeah, I just want to play shows, I just want to be on stage, you know and connect with people. Oh my God, that was my phone. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 11:39

That's a good ringtone yeah.

Speaker 2 11:46

I ringtone. Yeah, yeah, I keep meaning to change my ringtone to something a bit less bland, so that's good. Yeah, that's actually the default, do you? Want to have the you know like the model, then I can't you know oh okay, maybe I just need a different phone.

Speaker 1 11:54

But right, yeah, so you're saying so. I mean, can you just tell me a little bit more about what you mean by like a circular way of working on?

Speaker 2 12:05

see that's that's, you know, like when a record is round you know like I cannot. I cannot exactly explain how I think about things, but when I look and what, at whatever given thing, you know, it's like, there's always like, like. If I have a thought, there's like a sphere around it you know, and I try to approach it from different directions.

Speaker 2 12:26

You know, and okay, there's a meaning, what else might the meaning be? And you know, I try to sort of like envelope it into a whole world of it, right, so there's an ecosystem that builds out of something Exactly. And that's exactly so. From the minute that I have an idea for a song and then I find the people that I want to create that song with. I mean, like most of the songs I think only work for me if there's a music video to go with it.

Speaker 1 12:56

That's why I like to shoot so many music videos, so the visual element is really, really important.

Speaker 2 13:00

Exactly. You know like, if it's like a good song, then I can also already envision what it's going to look like you know the sort of colors that I want to see in like a visual product, but sometimes like on the album.

Speaker 2 13:13

There's like one song where I actually published like a whole essay around that whole theme that the song basically explored like years and years ago, and I didn't know that the song was about that and later on, you know it's just you know writing about sex and then later it was like a decolonial theoretical blah blah you know, like with, with all those things you know, just basically trying to ground my sexuality that I'm exploring in that song, to ground that into, like a wider context yeah, yeah, but it's something that you figure out like later on, yeah, basically.

Speaker 2 13:50

Basically, I make up shit as I, yeah, yeah, but isn't that like the most honest way? Yes, I think so, I think so yeah, I mean, I think definitely.

Speaker 1 13:57

I think if I, if I do something and I kind of try and second guess something, it kind of it just it just kills it, you know yeah, I mean in, you know, I think I mean they're, they're too different.

Speaker 2 14:07

I think there's also. There's also like for me, for example, second guessing is part of the process you know like it's like, and then you know like, maybe there's a way to expand on a certain thing. And then you know, build around that and stuff like this. I mean that's. I think second guessing is also part of that. You know like, maybe. I mean, I like, I like that things are finished when they are you know, so I would never.

Speaker 2 14:29

I would never. I mean, there are also artists out there who would never, ever finish a thing because they don't know when it's finished, and I always try to sort of avoid that or like, just let certain things just go if, if I know after, like I don't know, like two years thinking about it yet it's not working.

Speaker 2 14:50

I don't know what to say about that and I don't know the people who would help me find what I can do with that. You know, like there was supposed to be a song on that album like which after two years I had to decide I had to let that go. For example, right yeah, it's, it's still.

Speaker 1 15:07

It's still bothering me because because I still think like I so wanted to write that song, you know and I had a session with different kinds of artists you know like, and we said there were like five people and we couldn't come up with a hook yeah, but you, you sort of like I mean my, just my interpretation, and I know it's so different for everyone, but when I've had that, it's like I know that there's a way of doing it. I just don't know what it is and I don't know what that's going to be.

Speaker 2 15:31

It's like being unable to put your finger on it, or lacking the words, the language, the means of expression, although it's in the ether and everybody sort of also agrees it's there, definitely, but nobody knows how to exactly phrase it.

Speaker 1 15:46

and then, as I'm saying, five people can come up with a hook it's funny talking about phrasing as well like I have to apologize that I feel be living in berlin for like almost six years and my german is so bad um you don't have to speak german when you live in berlin.

Speaker 1 16:03

That's true, I mean, and I love your music, even though my german is so bad. Um, you don't have to speak german when you live in berlin, that's true. I mean, and I love your music, even though my german is so bad. Um, because I I have this thing like where I do pick up on, like the way things sound and voices sound, and I'm not a very good lyric picker-upper. Anyway, I kind of read a lot about artists and I feel the music, but do you feel how much am I missing out?

Speaker 2 16:29

that's so. That's so hard to say, because I feel like a lot of what, what I do, is built around language because, like the whole, you know, the artist persona, um, the electric diva, basically what, what makes her, what makes her a diva, is also the way that she expresses herself, not only in tone but also linguistically. So, like a certain way, because the way is, you know one thing, for example, I use german differently, as you would use it colloquially, right, it's like sometimes it sounds like something that may have been written like in the 60s or in the 20s.

Speaker 1 17:09

That's sort of like the fun.

Speaker 2 17:11

So yeah, I can say, I mean, if you say that it's still a nice experience for you, that you love it, then I would say, then it's a job well done for me.

Speaker 1 17:21

I see, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 17:24

Because if it still conveys that, if you still, if you still say, yeah, I, I do understand what the whole artist persona is about, then I'm like, okay, then maybe it's also it translates in more than one way. But you know that's, that's also never for me to decide, because ultimately you, as a person who listens to the music, I mean you're also seeing your own ideas and hopes and dreams and what makes you tick specifically as the recipient, and I feel that's what good art, from my opinion, should do. It should not translate the way that I am, but rather it should give you access to who you are right, I see what you mean.

Speaker 1 18:06

That's really interesting, isn't it? Because we're all. We can only ever interpret anything subjectively, really, at the end of the day, and it's I also, I'm. I'm not a fan of too much where people analyze yeah you know? It's like I don't think that. How do you know you know? How do you know what the artist was thinking that?

Speaker 2 18:23

and that's why I'm always so annoyed when people are like yeah, and what is it what you're trying to say with this song? I don't know. I was like I don't know. You try and figure that out. I don't know what is what the song is saying to you? You?

Speaker 2 18:34

know, because I am not you. I know what I was thinking but you know, although I talked about many of those songs and people always tend to ask me about the same songs but there are a few where I was like where I already had to answer in interviews, like I'm not ready to talk about that yet.

Speaker 1 18:55

Yeah, yeah, hedy Lamarr. So the album has got Hedy Lamarr on it as well, and it's this big sounding tune no-transcript when I read some, because I was like talking about, you know, honoring her life's work.

Speaker 2 19:33

She was already dead by then and there was like a prize or something.

Speaker 2 19:37

There was some press coverage about her work and I think that's when I first encountered her and I was like, oh my God, this is the most beautiful person that I've ever seen, the most beautiful woman that I've ever seen, and she did what Like Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, what and I was so fascinated that I tried to figure out who she was this Austrian Jewish woman who basically played the first orgasm in movie history. She then married a guy who basically was a Nazi, I think.

Speaker 1 20:17

Right.

Speaker 2 20:18

And then she left, she went to the. Uk and then she went to the US and she always wanted to be part of the resistance. So she tried to do various things like, for example, cubes for the troops, cubes of Coca-Cola. She invented those for people, so if they were not here, they would have their favorite drink. Wow, but she miscalculated that the water had had different, you know yeah, I don't know like acid.

Speaker 2 20:49

Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly she miscalculated that, so that didn't work, you know. And um, she also, she. I mean she just came up with things and people was like, yeah, but do you not? Rather, I mean we could see you. I mean you're so pretty, we could see yourself bonds and stuff like this, or, like you know, like do something for the troops that's more along your line of work. And so, basically, she offered this whole idea of frequentsprungverfahren I don't know what that is in English.

Speaker 1 21:18

I don't know what it is.

Speaker 2 21:18

The technology that I mean.

Speaker 1 21:20

Oh yeah, she was making it for sort of like submarines. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 21:25

She made that for torpedoes.

Speaker 1 21:27

Right.

Speaker 2 21:29

With the composer you know, like they sat together and sort of figured that out and I mean they wanted to, they gave them that patent and they basically said, yeah, thank you, and basically shelved it.

Speaker 1 21:41

Right.

Speaker 2 21:41

A couple of decades or so. And then she I mean the song talks about that as well. I mean, she is basically the reason why aspen looks the way it looks, because she wanted to have a house that reminded her of austria, and she built that and everybody was like, oh, this is interesting, maybe we should also have that. So yeah, wow then you know, like all sorts of things Hats the hat renaissance.

Speaker 2 22:06

That was also like her doing and you know, at a certain point, like you know, like a lot of divas, she sort of like you know, because when the war is over she was too old in Hollywood. Yeah, you know, and then she basically couldn't find any work. So she then, you know, became like an hermit, you know, and it was like lots of cosmetic surgery which she also improved Many things that are done these days in cosmetic surgery.

Speaker 2 22:35

basically she came up with as well, because she basically would go to a surgeon and say like maybe you should rather do it like this.

Speaker 1 22:42

So she was someone that I imagine she was, someone that everything that could happen to her, her, she would kind of figure a way to make it better or figure out the way she would want it.

Speaker 2 22:50

Yes, she was she was a legit genius yeah, I think you know she was a genius and then at the same time also also, I think she may have been quite lonely you know, and always missing home because, like the last thing that is recorded of her, when she did that, she said on the phone it's like she saw something from austria, like wiener opan ball, and she basically said, oh look, they're showing.

Speaker 1 23:14

They're showing vienna and yeah, it's interesting sort of, you know, definitely living through such an interesting time, well, time of history that where she was born played an effect on that you know yeah, but also also like born too early you know, because, like I mean she she didn't live in the in the feminist age or something like this you know like where people might have valued her contributions.

Speaker 1 23:38

You know like, and for me I was like she was a genius, she was anti-fascist and she was also fucking awesome and queer and great yeah, yeah, and I think at that time as well, in hollywood they had that kind of star system as well, didn't there, where, like, all of the stars were just contracted to sort of just appear and you know, you're not allowed to do this, you're not allowed to do that yeah, and I mean her brand was pretty clear, her brand was literally the most beautiful woman in the world, and by the time she was well set to return, you know like there were other pretty women around who were also younger so do you feel like with the song as well?

Speaker 2 24:13

in an ideal world, would the song kind of be a way of re-educating people about her or kind of giving her, like this extra little window of this is actually who she was I just wanted to, I just wanted to honor her name yeah really, you know like, and it's like a friend of mine said, you know, quoted nina simone at me when you basically said like yeah, it's like a show tune for a show that hasn't been written yet, and basically, I keep repeating that now because it's it's it's so fun, because it's like, yeah, that if a musical about her life would be made, then that would be like the opening number.

Speaker 1 24:46

Yeah, I mean, that's actually the super weird and I'm not just shitting you about this, but that's actually what. When I listened to it, I did have that kind of feeling of like the kind of like mgm logo or something like that in a film starring, you know, had that vibe about it and and how did? Did you have like a really early memory of music coming into your life, did you like, of where you felt like really connected with music?

Journey From Childhood to Musical Career

Speaker 2 25:09

Oh, that's a good question. I don't really, I don't really know. I mean, I have, like, my musical education is partly based on my foster mom, Because I mean she's like like, I mean she's 83 now. She was born in northern australia in 1940 so she spent the first five years of her life in germany, when it was at war and um she had.

Speaker 2 25:38

She didn't have higher education, she had education until she was 14 or something and she was supposed to work, you know, and um, so she basically, but she had, like you know, this really like social democrat working class upbringing which was like okay, there's like you know, like the basic, the basics of musical education are like this and the basics of blah blah, of literature and stuff like this and you should read that and stuff like this and also should always work hard. She was always like you have to work. I mean both of my mom, my, my, my, my real mom my black mom.

Speaker 2 26:11

Also. They were like okay, you always have to work extra hard because you are black and you're a woman and you come from you come from a working class background, and I'm like I don't know what y'all are talking about, because they were trying to explain something like that's an academic. In academia it's called intersectionality and what they were trying to explain that to me and I'm like I don't know, I'm like 12, what?

Speaker 1 26:32

the fuck are you talking about?

Speaker 2 26:37

and I'm very thankful that you know like this that they had this sort of approach. So they would, you know, send me to like the uh children's choir, you know and I could I, could, you know, have like um classes?

Speaker 2 26:50

and you know, like when I was, I taught myself how to play the guitar, so they'll get me guitar classes. Then I taught myself how to play the piano, and then I would have piano classes, you know, like with a little money that we had, you know, and they were always like, well, you're too lazy to never, you never actually rehearse, so we're not going to continue that but, they always would let me do music as a hobby.

Speaker 2 27:13

They never actually believed in it. So when I was 16 and my brother got married at that time and the leader of our choir was basically, yeah, your daughter should sing a solo. And they were like what she can't sing.

Speaker 1 27:27

Right, they didn't know, they didn't know, they didn't know. All of these hours you're doing this.

Speaker 2 27:32

They didn't know that nobody was at home when everybody was at work. I would be like, ah, sing musical and I had, like you know, like those karaoke on this on the stereo. Oh, yeah, I would be with like and then I recorded everything and I was so. I was so cringe you know I actually took that to school, know, and played that to people and they were like what?

Speaker 1 27:55

Can you remember what was on that? What were the kind of hits that you were doing?

Speaker 2 27:59

The Lion King. You know the movie soundtrack.

Speaker 1 28:01

Can you?

Speaker 2 28:01

Feel the Love Tonight. Oh, yes, yeah, you know like not the Elton John version, but you know the Disney movie version. You know, like as a duet with my friend the neighbors, that you know the neighbor's daughter. I mean, that was embarrassing. Also like some musical stuff you know I went when I was, when I was little. I always wanted to be a musical actress and then I did. The first show that I did like with 12 or 13 was um joseph and the amazing technical dreamolor dreamcoat you know, they had like choirs of 50 children.

Speaker 1 28:32

I was one of them oh, yes, on the, I closed my eyes.

Speaker 2 28:35

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, you know like the, with the, the android where, but where it would start like donny osmond jason donovan. I remember when I was at jason donovan, exactly, exactly, and then, like in the German premiere, I was one of those children and then I became like such a huge fan and I would go to all the musicals in Germany and watch them and I meet actors and put on shows with my friends, you know, and yeah, and then when I ended up actually doing musical, I didn't quite like it.

Speaker 1 29:09

What was the difference? What was the difference between, like the anticipation and during it?

Speaker 2 29:13

I mean, you know, I when I did it I had just gotten out of a TV casting show, pop stars show. Yeah and I had. I had worked at a musical theater in a bar.

Speaker 2 29:30

And people were working backstage and stuff like this. They were like there are auditions. Do you want to try out? We will help you prepare. And they prepared me and I did a good job and I actually got the job. But then I didn't know what it took, I didn't know the people. It was eight shows a week. You know. Everybody had sort of like musical education. I was slower than everybody because I didn't have the education.

Speaker 1 29:57

I couldn't dance.

Speaker 2 29:58

I would lose my voice, all of these things. You know, everything was so. And then there's this whole peer pressure system. I'm like a socially awkward person, so I was, like you know know, like not good with the group and stuff like this, and it actually that was quite depressing I could imagine that's.

Speaker 1 30:14

It's like um. In england we got like an expression like out of the fire into the frying pan. I don't know if that's the right expression, but it just does feel like. It's like going into this whole world, perhaps without you know, like without the lead up to it.

Speaker 2 30:28

Yeah, yeah, and I mean like everybody, you know, like people were like I was at that time the youngest person to play. I played the queen mom at the Lion King, you know, and I was the youngest person who had ever played that role at that time. It was like 23, 24. And you know, because it was a typecast thing, you know, like the queen mom was supposed to be very tall you know, with a, with a, with a voice that could still very high if necessary, and I was that person.

Speaker 2 30:57

but people who were like in the business so much longer were like she doesn't know anything. Why is she here, you know so there was like a lot of mobbing as well and stuff like this.

Speaker 1 31:07

So was it so? Were you you by that point, were you starting to kind of figure out, like when? When did the idea of like the, the solo career, come in? Was that something that you always wanted to do? Was it something that was kind of coming through with more experience? I?

Speaker 2 31:22

had to. You know like when, and you know I would, I would, I would have different episodes. You know like two bouts of longer signals. While I had those contracts, I was there for like a whole of two and a half years or so, and during the second one I started writing songs.

Speaker 2 31:39

Yeah no-transcript and I remember talking to him. I wanted to ask him for input. You know, what am I supposed to do with my own music, with my own songs? I would love to do something. And he was like. You know, honestly, if I was you, I've been doing this for 10 years I wouldn't even get started oh, oh, I was so mad at him.

Speaker 2 32:36

Yeah, I was so mad at him that um and I I keep telling that story many times, and I also keep telling him because I'm saying like you're actually responsible for what I'm doing now, because it was so weird parallel. Yeah, no, no, actually I was so mad at him that in a matter of four weeks I put together my first concert yeah, I finished. I finished new songs and stuff like this and put together like a new concert. It was like it was like a mess.

Speaker 2 33:01

It's really embarrassing to think about that now but it was like you know, because I was, I was just like, okay, I'm going to show it to this person.

Speaker 1 33:09

Yeah, because I didn't like his tone. Yeah, yeah, it's interesting to think of the things that have been built out of a reaction against what someone did, like we don't like their tone, or they've pissed us off or they've not believed in us.

Speaker 2 33:21

I mean, you know, and at the end of the day, I also know, I want. I want to make that clear because it was not about him.

Speaker 1 33:27

Yeah.

Speaker 2 33:28

It was, I was also being. I was also tired of being told that, as a woman of my age at that time, as a black woman who had always, you know, tried to do what other people wanted, I was like I was just so tired of being told of what I was supposed to do by a person in his position who happened to be like just some white dude, yeah, and he didn't mean, I mean we we also ended up working together and stuff.

Speaker 2 33:57

He was like really cool and I really loved. I really love him still yeah but um, it was just I that was for the first time that I understood that there was a system that would keep telling me such things. I could never really abide by those rules, but I had to do it anyway.

Speaker 1 34:18

Yeah, what would you tell your younger self now? What kind of advice would you say?

Speaker 2 34:31

say my younger self, I would say, um, I'm sorry that a lot of times you will have to be your own hero and your own role model, but you will also will have the privilege to be that for everybody who is like you or who was like you only smaller, yeah, you know, like younger that's what it's called.

Speaker 1 34:56

My English is like. No, the English is perfect. It's fizzling out. Sunday.

Speaker 2 35:01

And Sunday you will have the privilege to be that role model for others that you needed. So bear with it a little while.

Speaker 1 35:08

And also, I love you, don't be scared that's beautiful, and is that the same advice you would also give to young people coming into music that maybe don't see themselves reflected in like patriarchal structures as well?

Speaker 2 35:23

specifically in germany. I would say like yeah, I mean like yeah, do whatever the fuck you want, because you know this system has only um, I mean, the system only holds space for like two to three different people.

Speaker 2 35:36

You know, and they are not so different from each other. So you know, you may do, may as well do whatever you want and just, you know, have fun with it, like really really have fun with it, and don't care too much what other people think, and connect you. You know, connect with other people, that would be the advice.

Speaker 1 35:53

Yeah.

Speaker 2 35:54

And also I love you and don't be scared.

Speaker 1 35:57

Oh, melinda, thank you so much. Really nice, thank you so much. Thank you so much, everyone for being here. Thank you to Melinda, thank you to Zoe, thank you to Rosalie for being awesome and getting me to do this and, um, thank you for coming and I'm gonna have a cigarette. Yeah, uh, lost in Sound is what I do, and thank you for being here. Yes, thank you.

Speaker 1 36:29

Okay, so that was me, paul Ham hamford, talking with melonda for lost and sound podcast, and we had that chat back on october, the 15th 2023. Thanks for your patience there, melonda, and thanks also to podfest for hosting the talk that we had there. That conversation was part of the first of two interviews I did at last year's Podfest festival, the podcast festival in Berlin, and there's a link in the description to Melonda's debut album, mein Herz ist ein dunkler Kontinent, and a link to her most recent single, scheisse, angst and her podcast too, the Miseducation of Ashan Melonda. And if you like listening today and you haven't already, please do consider subscribing. It really, really, really helps me build the show and I will be massively, hugely appreciative if you do.

Speaker 1 37:17

My book Coming to Berlin is still available in all good bookshops or via the publisher Velocity Press' website and Audio-Technica are the sponsors of the show, the global but still family-run company that make headphones, turntables, cartridges, microphones studio-quality yet affordable products. So, wherever you are in the world, head on over to Audio-Technicacom to check out all of their range of stuff. Also, the music that you hear at the beginning, at the end of every episode of Lost in Sound is by Thomas Giddens Hyperlink, as always in the podcast description. No-transcript.